Re: My friend is a backstabbing fuckwit
You have three options.
1. Suck his cock and quench his thirst.
2. Fuck his mother and threaten to put a pic on Facebook about it.
3. Let him fuck your mom and quench his thirst.
In all seriousness, dump either or both of them. If they want to fuck each other that bad, man up and/or let 'em go.
"Grab that fuckin business, that company by the throat, say - Hey motherfucker, I want a push!"
Stone Cold Steve Austin, 2014
That hasn't worked for anyone in a decade, but sure.