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-   -   A Death in the WF Family (http://www.wrestlingforum.com/rants/570615-death-wf-family.html)

Cerbs 08-26-2011 08:26 PM

A Death in the WF Family
 
Quote:



Name: Shawn Keim

Alias: Prime Time Keim

December 14th, 1985 - August 26th, 2011


West Laurel,MD: Police discovered the body today of a young man by the name of Shawn Keim in his run-down suburban chateau lying face-down at his computer desk in a pool of vomit with an empty bottle of Xanax resting near his feet.

Toxicology reports have not been released at press time, but coroners are already ruling it suicide. It is believed he decided to take his own life after finally realizing no one was reading his posts on his internet wrestling message board.

Keim was last spotted by witnesses in the parking lot of a near-by Walmart posing by automobiles to feign the impression he actually owned one. One Walmart employee stated Keim was denied a purchase of 40-caliber ammunition because he appeared to be "unstable".

"He just stumbled into the store, hanging on to shelves for balance as he made his way to the ammunition department," the woman said. "He was crying and mumbling something about 'being banned from my own thread'".

Keim has a history of suicide attempts and even reportedly stood on a bridge for 20 minutes, contemplating jumping.

"He wussed the fuck out," said an ex-girlfriend of Keim's, "He used to stay on that fucking forum for hours and hours, just typing about nothing. I knew he was a fucking loser all along. I only hope his obituary's shorter than his fucking rants were."

The funeral is scheduled for September 1st. At press time, no one is confirmed to be attending.


Source: happynews.com
Good riddance.

Rockhead 08-26-2011 08:27 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
Got a lot of piss for that grave.

DR JUPES 08-26-2011 08:30 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
i enjoyed this, we do need a PTK hate thread.

Cactus 08-26-2011 08:33 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
10/10 Would read again.

Horselover Fat 08-26-2011 08:41 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
i thought it was valory on your account reporting your death

CM Dealer 08-26-2011 09:22 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
Don't you mean LORRAINE FOSTER?

CamillePunk 08-26-2011 09:27 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
A couple flaws in this story. He was trying to buy ammunition? Seriously doubt he has the balls to go out by shooting himself.

Secondly, ex-girlfriend? That implies he ever had a girlfriend in the first place.

/shovel

Horselover Fat 08-26-2011 09:30 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CM Dealer (Post 10217122)
Don't you mean LORRAINE FOSTER?


she rejoined as valory once

scrilla 08-26-2011 09:33 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CamillePunk (Post 10217145)
A couple flaws in this story. He was trying to buy ammunition? Seriously doubt he has the balls to go out by shooting himself.

Secondly, ex-girlfriend? That implies he ever had a girlfriend in the first place.

/shovel

didn't you say you had a girlfriend a few weeks ago? hey if you can do it anyone can man.


anyway funny rant. i lol'd multiple times

BAD NEWS GOON 08-26-2011 10:12 PM

Re: A Death in the WF Family
 
RIP


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