I don't post too often anymore, because well, I haven't really had a reason too. I got tired of being that annoying poster so I said fuck it I'll just read the news they post and what not.
Recently I've been losing my patience though with the world and I figure this is the best I can do as far as venting is concerned. Cause I can't get a much needed therapy session that is covered by medicaid, so here it goes.
We just moved out of my abusive step dad's house, good right? Wrong. Now that we're out he's coming around being nice and shit and it's freaking me the hell out. My two younger brothers (both autistic) have become neglected by my mom now that we're out. With my dad around she watched us like a hawk to keep us sane during his abuse, but now that we're "safe" she's off with another guy already. It's been a month and a half and she's dating a guy, who regardless of him being cool, is taking up all her time. She's spending all day talking to him on the phone like a fucking school girl. I've seen teenagers who are less lovesick. She left Gavin (10) up by himself until 2:30 in the morning because her new guy was here. I (16 not a parent) had to help him get ready for bed. That wasn't a problem, but when it started happening every day Then I got pissed. He and Jay require a lot of attention, their autistic so they need it, and she's not giving it to them. Also, my ex girlfriend is STILL COMING OVER HERE EVERY DAY! Because she's my moms friend now and "helps with the kids". Really, my mom is pissed I left her and likes her better because she doesn't bitch when stuff is unjust. I don't care about my wellbeing I'm 16 I can take care of myself. But when a 10 year old Autistic kid runs to me crying about being "Ignored" then i get pissed.
So I tell my dad, and he tells my mom, and she unleashes on us. Saying we just don't want her to be happy and what not. It's not that at all but she keeps threatening and guilting us saying fine I'll just be alone all my life, sad and depressed and become one of those old cat ladies. So we give in because we don't want that. Whether she's bluffing or not doesnt matter, the fact she's doing this pisses me off. Also my ex is ruining my life still, she's gotten the number of the new girl i'm with and has been harassing her and scaring her so bad that she wont leave her house. Nothing we can do because the police in our city suck ass. And whenever I call her out on it she doesnt respond.
Through all this I've turned back to my vice of heroin to try to deal with this, which its my real dad's fault I even know what it is and how to use it because he was so hooked on it and fucking gave me some when i was a child! I can't take this anymore but suicide is a useless cowardly move, and my brothers need me now more than ever. I'm a 16 year old daddy of two disabled boys that I never had. Dealing with my own issues and then having to attend to them while trying to manage school at the same time. It's bullshit and impossible and I shouldn't have to do it. But I can't say shit to my mom cause she wont listen to us.
I know the internet is the worst place to seek advice but please no dick comments, I know I've gotten mocked for good reason before but now is not the time. Please just someone tell me its okay or something. No one will listen to me anywhere and this is really my last resort. I don't have anywhere else to go cause no one believes me or cares. And like I said this is the worst place to go because almost everyone here will just mock me but I dont even care anymore I gotta let this out. Just someone please give me some indication of something to do to change this cause I can't live like this.
Before you try to solve any of these other problems you need to get off the drugs. That isn't going to help you do anything, except possibly end up in the ground at an early age. You need to face your problems head on instead of relying on a crutch to get you through shit.