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post #1 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-19-2010, 04:53 PM Thread Starter
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I didn't know where to put this, the Rants section may have been a better place to vent frustration, but the Anything section seems to be a better fit for my post.

Anyway, here it goes. I'm an atheist. I've been an atheist for about a year. Until that point, I wasn't religious. You see, I had never been to church, my family wasn't religious. But, I believed in god, the one who wears the white robe and sits in a golden castle in the clouds. I also believed that good people, regardless of religion, went to heaven, while killers, rapists, etc., went to hell. That was about it. My family never said grace, real the Bible, or anything.

Over last year's summer, I researched Christianity. I was frightened, to say the least. This god wasn't the one I had imagined. He was cruel, sociopathic, and cold. He threatened those who didn't believe in his existence with eternal damnation. In the Bible, there are countless acts of God killing and advocating the murder of millions of people; children, women, babies.

I was absolutely stunned. My family would be among the billions of people who'd burn for eternity. It was horrible.

That summer, I extensively researched Christianity of all forms. Some sects gleefully spoke of how those who didn't subscribe to their dogma, would burn, and how we needed to be saved. Others were more liberal, basically "worship with us, have fun". These churches tolerated different religions and lifestyles, promoting the image of a truly loving god that was in my mind in the first place.

I was ready to go to one of the U.U. or Episcopalian churches, but after researching the Bible, my mind changed. The Bible was the Bible, I had to take it literally, or else. I also read that Catholics and more liberal denominations would be spewed (yes, literally), out of God's mouth for being to lukewarm.

For the next few days, I continued to research Christianity, in fear of my Atheist and Jewish friends, along with my family being roasted. Although I read more comforting things such as judgement based on good deeds and even limbo (compared to eternal torture), the sects of Christianity that took the Bible as the whole truth held firm that it was their way or no way.

I decided to look up atheism. Before I learned about Christianity, I thought that Atheism was just made up of spiritless people and that they over looked Pixie God (I was very ignorant to say the least). Needless to say, after reading a few Atheist forums and websites, it started to make sense. "Who created God?" "Why won't God heal amputees?" "Evolution makes sense." "How can a virgin give birth."

After reading retorts from Christian "Science" websites, my atheism was solidified. Just about every answer was "Look in the Bible" "God has his reasons" or "You're going to hell!"

I was happy with my atheism. Although I didn't have my Pixie safety net anymore, I was delighted to know the truth. I was okay with no afterlife as long as I made the most out of this one. No one would fry in Hell.

Here's where I ran into my problem however.

After deciding for sure that there was no Pixie, at least of the Abrahamic variety, I started to feel empty. I felt disenchanted. Sad, in away. This feeling, however, didn't effect me daily. It came up once every few weeks. No big deal, it was just an effect of believing something for so long.

Recently, the feeling has grown worse. It now comes up every two or three days. It doesn't help that I am on/off OCD.

The reason this feeling comes back isn't because I worry about the after-life or out of guilt, but rather out of shock. You see, I wanted my Santa Claus/The Giver mash up in the white robes back. I wanted to feel safe and know that there was someone watching my back.

Also, I recently moved to an area with a large number of Baptists and other Christians. They looked so happy coming out of church. There was recreation, camaraderie, and tranquility. The feeling of being on a mission and knowing that you weren't alone, coupled with all of the rec sports and missions, made me feel empty.

With that being said, I looked into other religions. Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and even Catholicism. They all fell short. Either they didn't have the same stigma as Christianity or they were completely B.S.

I don't enjoy having this recurring feeling of emptiness. Christmas has lost its magic, to some extent. My outlook on humanity has fallen a great deal (as it should). The world has lost its mystique for some reason.

I'd be perfectly happy converting to Deism and going to a U.U. place or being a Cafeteria Catholic, but it doesn't work that way. When I go with a religion, I have to go to an extreme. And, honestly, I don't want to go to the Fundamentalist Christianity. I'd have to drop most of my logic, deny evolution, and not tolerate alternative lifestyles and beliefs.

I feel as though I have grown so much since I looked into religion. However, I feel empty without it in some shape or form. If I go back to being religious though, I'll be taking three steps back.
What I'm trying to ask in this post is, how do I deal with this?

PS: To make up for this serious post, here is a picture of a "special" pig...

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post #2 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-19-2010, 05:22 PM
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I can help you, I am raised a christian yet I became disenheatened with all the hypocracy I found in the church, the pastor was implicated in a huge embezzling opperation. I thought I could have trusted him. Also there were key docternal errors. But they had their quotes and I had mine, and what I found was completely contridictory. I saw another church that looked like modern day Iran women had to have their heads covered and could not speak whatsoever. And don't get me started on the TURN or BURN preachers.

There is such a thing as white collar sins, the upper class of society may not booze up or take drugs, neither do the religious. But they will still exploit others for their benefit, lie about it and then judge others when they lie. I see that as being worse than someone caught in a vice. I have been campaigning against the religious fundimentalists for quite some time. I mentioned that Katy Perry sang gospel, everyone was asking how I can support a slut? I have had issues with the greater christian community.
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post #3 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-19-2010, 06:27 PM
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That poor pig.

Aj Styles
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Ric Flair
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Randy Orton
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Not Removing until
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post #4 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-19-2010, 06:36 PM
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Someone's been reading my "Guide to Rants", shame this post is in the anything section.
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post #5 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-19-2010, 08:53 PM
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First off, STFU JUPITER!

Second, I believe athiests to be spawns of the devil..... LET ME ELABORATE...

God is good.

The devil is evil.

People who TRULY(not the hypocritical 'Christians' we usually see around) believe in God believe in love and good and that their SOUL goes on. MAybe there's a heaven, maybe there's a hell, but we know we're here and why not make the best of it. Religion give people hope and belief, and when they have somebody(God) to confide in, it makes them feel at ease. Just remember this: the bible has many translations. Our current doesn't make it the true bible. It could mean something different. You can take one verse and ask 40 different people what it means, and they'll likely give 40 differing answers. The bible is a true testament to Earth's history. It does have things in it that historians can confirm. Just remember that religion keeps the world good, but also keeps it bad. Everybody has so many interpretations that some are bound to clash over it, which the 'devil' comes in.

I just think you're bad feeling is by thinking this is it....that's how people usually end up doing dumb shit. They don't believe in anything good. Im not saying to just up and belive in God again, but I'm saying to believe in the good...who says there's no afterlife anyway? Just because God may not be real to people doesn't mean that an afterlife isnt real neither.
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post #6 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-20-2010, 01:47 AM
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If you actually want serious advice, looking for it on a wrestling forum is borderline ridiculous. If you wanna be trolled, congratulations but this would've been better in rants.

In all seriousness, if believing something to be true helped you, then I don't see why you can't believe it again. Yeah, the religion might have problems but you can tweak 'em all to suit your views. Nobody said that you have to take all or nothing. Disregard the bad and believe in the good, if that's what you need.

Now, I don't believe in the existence of an omnipotent being (immeasurable energy is different) and I've never practiced any of this so the advice might be empty. You don't have to restrict anything to the lines prescribed.

Believing that King Kai is watching over you isn't any stranger than believing a man in a golden castle upon the clouds is watching you. So yeh, part troll/part srs. w/e.

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post #7 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-20-2010, 02:15 AM
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random pig picture
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post #8 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-20-2010, 02:19 AM
If someone hates you for no reason give that motherfucker a reason
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If it fucking helps you then go for it. Don't let what other people believe matter so much.

I would have moved this to rants but then it would turn into a pissing match... at least leaving it here I can dish out warnings to people who just want to ridicule the guy.

Are you deranged like me Are you strange like me

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but not right now
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post #9 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-20-2010, 02:46 AM
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I feel as though I have grown so much since I looked into religion. However, I feel empty without it in some shape or form. If I go back to being religious though, I'll be taking three steps back.
What I'm trying to ask in this post is, how do I deal with this?
Make up your own religious belief.

After all there MAY be a god, so why not choose to believe in a god of your own image if it will make you happier? Believing in the Dogma of a previously made religion would be a huge step back and is just silly. But just because someone 2000 years ago wrote a particularly stupid account of gods existence doesn't mean there is no god.

"Thats not right, Vickie's not a stick figure!" - Michael Cole
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post #10 of 60 (permalink) Old 06-20-2010, 04:26 AM
Excellent. The bar is so low we can step over it.
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Alright, I'm actually going to make a serious point here, because for once in my life I feel like being helpful.

Having problems with the Bible's/Torah's depiction of the Judeo-Christian God, isn't a problem in and of itself. Being unable to reconcile the apparent harshness and cruelty of the Old Testament and the hard line it takes towards things such as homosexuality that most people would now find perfectly acceptable (and definitely not something that should be responded to with stoning) isn't a problem. You seem to believe that being religious and having faith equate to one another. They don't. You don't have to believe in the Islamic depiction or the Jewish depiction or the Christian depiction or any other depiction in order to have faith in something higher or greater than you. You can isolate your faith from religion.

Religion was made by men and all those books were written by men, whether you believe it was under God's instruction originally or not. Religion has been used more than once for the sole benefit of the men who claimed the power that went with it. Religion is a construct of man, that has been warped by man on many occasions, to suit man. Religion is troublesome because its content is passed on through men. Your faith is a direct link between you and whatever god or gods you may believe in; religion acts to separate you from your god, placing itself as a barrier of some kind. At best, it is a filter and a translator, but at worst it is an obstruction that can mislead and manipulate you. I'm a little pessimistic, so I'd play it safe and assume it's usually the latter.

The point is, that book you read that horrified you so much and those actions you've read into that horrified you so much? They're not necessarily God's actions. They're the actions of bad men who've used God as a stalking horse to get close to you because they know you'll tolerate more under the guise of God's will than you would if it was blatantly presented as their own callous selfishness. I'm not saying all religion and religious men are like this, but enough are that you'll lkely find bad men in any religion's history. You can turn your back on those men, on religion, without turning your back on your faith.

If you believe there's a higher power responsible for all of this, looking over us, who gave us the free will to make our own mistakes and our own messes and the opportunity to clean up our own mistakes and messes, believe that. Believe He made the world in the beginning and allowed it to evolve as it He knew it would in his omniscience. Believe He knew that the bad that happens in the world happens because no world can be all good if people have free will. Believe He picked the best possible option, the world with the least bad present in it. Believe He doesn't step in to correct our every mistake because if our hands are always held we'll never flourish and that our every success will be meaningless because we didn't earn it.

Believe whatever you think is right, unconcerned with the beliefs of others and the religions of others. You can have faith without religion. There's no inconsistency there.

I'm an atheist incidentally, and it doesn't make me feel empty inside. I think if a belief is right for you, it won't make you feel empty inside. While I find it unlikely, I by no means find it impossible that there could be a God, and I don't believe in one because it's personal preference for the functioning of my life. I'd rather believe this isn't all a test because if it's a test, it's devalued. The end result will be all that mattered, not how we got there. When you look at an exam result, you look at the grade, not the essay, and I think the essay should matter. I find my meaning in the events that happen, not the result of them. I don't want everything I do to benefit or harm people to stand for nothing more than a tick in the heaven or hell column. I want their actual effects on people to have meaning and for that to be the end of it, without a tally chart.

Plus, I'm a massive bastard to people, so if it turns out I'm wrong and there is a hell, I'm largely fucked...

The point is, believe what you're most comfortable believing. You don't need to believe in any religion's specific God; just have faith in a higher power if that suits you.
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