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**Forum B!tch** · 09-28-2008, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitemare

Don't expect him to change.

But this does stem back to... what was it that you typed... Oh, right. "I wouldn't give a shit because I love him." You said this about his appearence. Why, then, do you not think this about his laziness or attitude?

To me, there is a difference. When it comes to relationships, there are two people involved, thus, two people should be making an effort. It doesn't work when one isn't pulling their weight. He can dress and look however he wants but laziness isn't something that should come in a relationship. We both work hard and have higher positions at work so yes, I get the stressed out at times part because I've been there, done that. I just have a different way of dealing with it than he does. I prefer not to get angry at things because that happens enough at work when there are a bunch of retards in your department.

I am the longest relationship he has had so I think he might not be so used to things. I think he is still used to living at home doing whatever he wants and having his mom do the dishes and the only area he had to clean was his room....which was pretty much always clean, besides his desk, at times. I don't think he's used to someone refusing to pick up after him because he's still used to home. :/

Quote:

You'll never find someone you don't want to change (in fact, it's impossible), but you can't really be upset with him for being himself.

The thing is, it's not really how he's always been. He actually used to clean up the place, and by clean up, I mean actually putting on the rubber gloves and scrubbing everything down. Now, something as simple as the garbage is a challenge, it seems.

You make a lot of good points, Nitemare.

Nitemare · 09-28-2008, 07:58 PM

Well, honestly, if you love him like you claim (and who am I to say you don't?), him being lazy isn't the end of the world, nor would it be the cause of a separation.

But anyway, like I believe I mentioned earlier, people "change" when it suits them. Perhaps at the start of the relationship he wanted to impress you, make you believe he was something he wasn't. And just so you know, many -- if not most -- guys will do this just to get a hold on a girl, to cause them to "fall in love." It's a form of abuse to gain control over someone in such a way, knowing that they'll eventually get girls who love them too much to leave them.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOUR 'HUSBAND' DID THIS, JUST THAT'S IT'S POSSIBLE. So don't hate.

**Certs** · 09-28-2008, 09:14 PM

Two months?

just break up with her, yeah it sucks but that won't stop the next girl from doing it to you.

I hope that was substantial enough. It sure is true

Nitemare · 09-28-2008, 09:45 PM

I don't think his girlfriend did anything wrong to him, though.

**I AM SlaM** · 09-28-2008, 09:56 PM

Leezus has been spitting some viscious venom it seems...but, the man holds valid points. On the flip side, blips such as these are the sink or swim moments a relationship requires to grow strength and progress.

For whatever consilation that is, it also is true.

Problem being...what is your levee and how much can it withstand? And even if it can devote it's self to holding steady...is the effort and end result going to be worth it?

Questions to ponder, but the answers are yours to figure out.

**Certs** · 09-28-2008, 10:00 PM

I'm not saying to be a dick about it, but if you don't like her then you owe it to her to tell her and break up with her. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

Drakeman · 09-28-2008, 10:39 PM

My honest opinion? You're young (like me), and honestly at this point in your life it should be about enjoying yourself. Don't stress yourself over it, and do what comes naturally. If you have to pull the plug, she'll live, and so will you. Life goes on. I'm honestly not looking for anything relationship-wise until my mid-20s, but one of the golden rules I've always been told is that you'll find her when you absolutely least expect it. Let your actions come naturally.

And sounds like you've got an interesting situation on your hands FB. I honestly can't comment much on it, because I've never had a relationship worth a shit. It always stems down to them either wanting sex or money (or in the past... drugs). It'd be nice to actually get to the point where somewhere gave a damn about myself more than that crap, but I'll take it for what it is. I'd personally not worry about it too much. If things do take a turn for a worse, however, I'd suggest perhaps going back to the simpler things that got you guys together in the first place. Who knows... these things are too hard to predict. You may come home one day to find roses petals and chocolate on your bed with him opening up. A side you've never even seen before perhaps. Maybe not something exactly like that of course, but I think your smart enough to get the point. Life is an unpredictable road that can lead you down the most unusual paths at times. Lord knows I've seen that phrase hold true many of times.