Thread Tools

**-ShowStopper-™** · 09-27-2008, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forum B!tch

I never back down and I can honestly say that I win 99% of the fights. The thing is, I am VERY understanding

No offence, but this leads me to believe there may be two sides to this story. You say it's only happened a few times which makes me think that maybe he just needs to be left alone sometimes. Some people need a certain amount of solitude in their lives to keep functioning properly. If you're not giving him that time alone, you could be compounding the problem.

Nitemare · 09-27-2008, 06:23 PM

There's always two sides to the story, but in actuality, usually only one is factual. Most guys will claim their girl is nagging too much even when she's not. Just how it is. Relationships are the worst form of knowing someone (in most cases), which is sad since they are supposed to bring people together. You learn more from the breakup than the actual relationship.

St Faint · 09-27-2008, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BreakTheWalls

I'm in a relationship that I don't want to be in, but I'm not sure why. We've only been going out close to two months, and this feeling has just come over me within the past week. The girl I'm with is a great person. She's gorgeous, funny, gets my sense of humor, and accepts me for who I am. She's a little ditzy, but there's a difference between being ditzy and being stupid. She's not the latter, so I don't mind at all. The bottom line is, I should be more than happy. I should feel like I'm set, but I don't. Sometimes when we're spending time together alone, I find myself not wanting to hang out for as long as she does. When she's gone, I don't miss her as much as I feel I should, and I know she truly misses me. I just feel like I'm not as into it as she is, and I don't think it's fair to her to keep this going.

.

Are you fucking retarded? Girls like that do not come by often.

the king of kings · 09-27-2008, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forum B!tch

Wow, it's funny you mention this sort of situation because I've had things on my mind about my relationship. Sorry to hear about it. I hope my story here makes you at least feel a bit better.

I'm in a common law relationship. We've been together for 5 years. It's my first relationship. Things have been a bit rocky here and there. It's the usual relationship stuff but within the past year, I've started to get fed up with things.

We have no kids. We have two dogs and a cat, which are basically our kids, for now. To be blunt, we're basically on the bottom of his list of important things. The internet, sports and work come first on his list.

We work different shifts at the same place (different departments). I work 7AM-330PM and he works from 3PM-whenever they finish (usually around midnight) so on a daily basis, I see him for about 60 seconds in the morning when I am waking up to go to work and he is going to bed and when I am leaving to go home after work, I walk by and say bye to him. I call him every single day at the time he wakes up for work to say hi and see how he is doing. He sometimes calls in the evening to say hi.

When he gets home, he sits on the internet the entire time on all his sports websites. Fine, whatever, I'm sleeping anyways. Weekends, he makes absolutely NO EFFORT to spend much time together and actually DO SOMETHING. Sorry, I'm a fun person and don't enjoy sitting around here all day. I love to go out and have a great time. You only live once and I don't want to live on a couch. When I was on midnight shift last year during the last 4 months of the year, I changed my sleeping pattern on Fridays so I would come home in the morning from work and stay up all day so I could sleep Friday night and get up Saturday morning to ensure we could spend time together and do things like people in a normal relationship do. I would again sleep Saturday night and stay up until 4PM Sunday afternoon. I would them sleep until 10PM, get up and go to work, which started at 1130PM.

We both want kids (or so he says he wants some) yet he doesn't even make an effort to make kids because the fucking internet is obviously more important. Then, he'll be a moron and say "we did it the other day". Uh, yeah dummy, it usually takes more than one time to have a kid.

Anyways, I have a conversation with him...oh, about 15 minutes ago and tell him in a mature way exactly what is on my mind. He gets mad, as usual, because he can't take it when someone points out his faults. He went to bed at 730AM this morning and woke up at 3PM. That is fucking ridiculous. I told him that we pretty have don't have a relationship because he chooses other things over his family (myself and the pets) and he basically doesn't care. I can honestly tell you that if he was dealing with someone else, she would have left him years ago but I put up with a lot of shit because I love him and care a lot about him, regardless of the amount of tears he brings and the verbal crap he like to throw at me. I have anxiety disorder and he loves to throw that in my face a lot. I haven't had to take my pills for years and it was hard bringing myself to this point but he still likes to tell me "why don't you go take a pill you psycho" (so I guess you're a lunatic because you get panic attacks. Who knew?) He also doesn't help me with anything. He wont even fathom doing laundry, he'll leave his dishes all over the place when he could just take a second to open up the dishwasher and put it in, he wont vaccuum, if the garbage is full, he wont walk 15 steps around the corner in the hall to throw it out, he'll just get a grocery bag, which we are supposed to be using them to clean up after our dogs when we take them out, put the garbage in and leave it lying around. I lost count of how many times I've cleaned for 5-6 hours on a Sunday while he sits on his ass watching TV and on the net. Two people live here so both people should be doing something. I'm not his fucking slave.

I know it's hard to believe after reading all of that but he's a general nice person, he just has a short fuse and seems to forget what should be important to him. I ALWAYS put family first. He's obsessed with fucking yahoo fantasy sports and "studies" players all day long. I can't even talk to him about things because he gets upset and leaves for a while.

I just can't believe someone can say such things about their own family. It's pretty sad and disgusting, actually. No matter how mad I get, I never say anything remotely hurtful towards him. He is big at judging, too. I bought a few clothes from Wal-Mart a few years ago and he told me not to tell anyone where I got them from. Are you serious? Sorry but I would rather buy some nice jeans for $20 that will last me years than buy Tommy Hilfiger (his jean of choice) jeans for $85 and have them die on me in a year or two. At least if my jeans rip or get damaged, they only cost $20 so who cares.

I wanted to get a Monroe (piercing) and he said if I did, he "wouldn't be attracted to me anymore" (people say this to someone they love? Wow...). Now I am not fond of blond hair at all but if he decided to dye his hair blond, I wouldn't give a shit because I love him, not his hair. If he wanted to pierce his face, I wouldn't care. Whatever things he chooses to do to himself or things that he chooses to like, I don't care because I support him, not knock him down for his interests. I wasn't dying for a Monroe, I just thought it looked pretty cool and when I used my eyeliner to draw a fake piercing to see what it looked like, it actually looked really good.

Well, sorry I ranted a bit here. I am not trying to take over your thread, I just hope it shows that your relationship is at least better than mine at the moment. I can't believe that someone who is supposed to love you no matter what just looks at you as being in the way of the internet. I don't care if he goes on the internet everyday for a few hours but he's on all day and all night and its hurting the relationship yet he doesn't care.

1 If he wasn't in a relationship then i wouldn't see any problems with sitting on the internet all day, but do you ever show a dislike towards it, i don't mean like " why are you on the internet so much" but a genuine dislike towards him on the internet.

2 Is he like being sacastic with your anxiety disorder, i know it's different with husbands. ike if my friends call me dumb i don't care but if one of my parents did i would.

3 Leave the house a fucking pigs pen and tell him your not cleaning if he doesn't.

4 i don't like fantasy sports but thats becuase if i were really into i might as well through everything of the 49ers i own in a fire. It causes you t root agaisnt your own team if someone from you fantasy team is playing them.

5 or you could just show this to him, or threaten to leave.

zergling_seb · 09-27-2008, 08:34 PM

Only ever had bad relationships. Shit sucks.

Katsuyori Murakami · 09-27-2008, 08:57 PM

Homosexuality. Give it a shot!

**dele** · 09-28-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ۩_JiGSaW_۩

Maybe BreakTheWalls and ForumB!tch are the couple!!!

Duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before you rip on me for "not having anything substantial to say":

I've been in two relationships, where I've done everything I could, and both girls ended up cheating on me.

Relationship?? Fuck that, I'll be single and not try to kill myself again.

Jake_p53 · 09-28-2008, 06:42 AM

Don't do what you think is best for her because:

1) You ultimately have to put yourself first, as selfish as that is.
2) Doing what you think is best by her is probably worse for her in the long run.

There is no easy way to go about this, anyways. I say maybe wait it out a while but if you're feeling no change, I doubt it's meant to be. You should be happy in a relationship and really wanna be there.

I give myself kudos for not talking about myself, for the record.

**Forum B!tch** · 09-28-2008, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -ShowStopper-™

No offence, but this leads me to believe there may be two sides to this story. You say it's only happened a few times which makes me think that maybe he just needs to be left alone sometimes. Some people need a certain amount of solitude in their lives to keep functioning properly. If you're not giving him that time alone, you could be compounding the problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitemare

There's always two sides to the story, but in actuality, usually only one is factual. Most guys will claim their girl is nagging too much even when she's not. Just how it is. Relationships are the worst form of knowing someone (in most cases), which is sad since they are supposed to bring people together. You learn more from the breakup than the actual relationship.

I never said I was innocent myself. I've had my days where I was pissed at something at work and I was just waiting for him to say even the slightest thing to set me off. I did it a few times but I'm pretty good at doing the "count to 10" thing and letting it pass.

As for him and his space, he gets space every single night.....Like I said, he goes to bed when I am getting up for work so he gets loads of alone time and he sometimes goes out with his friends for a few drinks so it isn't as if I steal all of his time away. We work different shifts, pretty much the complete opposite.

Nitemare does bring up a great point. I'll ask him one time "where's the dishwasher?" as a hint that he left a cup on the counter and he'll tell me I am nagging him.....I only asked ONCE.

All I ever asked of him was to take in consideration his family. It's as if he is so used to his alone time that he carries it on 7 days a week. I think I am at least entitled to spend time with him on the weekends. It's pretty much the only time of the week we have together.

I think the times when I get upset stems from the things that he does. It pisses me off when he just pushes us away to sit on the internet or when I come home from a busy day at work and I have to pick up after him when he's a grown man and can do things himself. I actually love to clean and I have always been a very clean person so a mess bugs the shit out of me. I don't really care too much if he doesn't clean the place up (mopping the floors, etc) because I don't mind doing it but at least do the smaller things like throw out the garbage when it gets full and put your dishes in the dishwasher. I'm not asking much, ya know?

Quote:

Originally Posted by the king of kings

1 If he wasn't in a relationship then i wouldn't see any problems with sitting on the internet all day, but do you ever show a dislike towards it, i don't mean like " why are you on the internet so much" but a genuine dislike towards him on the internet.

2 Is he like being sacastic with your anxiety disorder, i know it's different with husbands. ike if my friends call me dumb i don't care but if one of my parents did i would.

3 Leave the house a fucking pigs pen and tell him your not cleaning if he doesn't.

4 i don't like fantasy sports but thats becuase if i were really into i might as well through everything of the 49ers i own in a fire. It causes you t root agaisnt your own team if someone from you fantasy team is playing them.

5 or you could just show this to him, or threaten to leave.

I actually did do a number of those things yesterday, lol.

We had a good conversation for once and he actually took in what I said and thought about it. I told him everything that was on my mind and told him that I am not telling him this to get him upset but rather to help the relationship and that one day, if everything he had was gone, it woud be too late to fix anything. I think he finally realized that I was at the point where I was really sick of the bullshit and he better change things. I know he cares a hell of a lot, I just think he might have had the mindset of "she'll never leave me" and now he's starting to see that I just might if things don't get better.

Needless to say, after we had that conversation, I went in the bedroom to play some Street Fighter and left him in the living room to ponder. I can honestly say he's changed since the conversation but we'll see how long it lasts :P

Nitemare · 09-28-2008, 06:24 PM

Don't expect him to change.

But this does stem back to... what was it that you typed... Oh, right. "I wouldn't give a shit because I love him." You said this about his appearence. Why, then, do you not think this about his laziness or attitude?

You'll never find someone you don't want to change (in fact, it's impossible), but you can't really be upset with him for being himself.

Although I still say you should leave him for a while... at least when he goes back to his normal self, which will happen (sadly, for you).