Re: I hate my Life
Bud, you're only 13. You've got a hell of a long way to go yet. Don't give up/ Look you found something you like right here right? so why not try to make that work to your advantage. You say you don't like the way you look? well you can even change that.
U wanna trade with me? I'm on the down side of my lifetime now, I'd kill to be 13 again ( and of course to know what I know now ), wanna hear some stuff?
Hell first off when I was 13 friggin girls looked like boys for Christ sakes, at least nowadays girls your age have a shape to look at.
I had a girlfriend when I was 18, I was in love. She was my first true love ( and to this day some 20 plus years later I'd still wanna be w/ her ) She was 16. She got pregnant, with my child. My parents had just bought a house in Florida, we were moving there. Without her I was devastated. Couldn't tell my parents about our situation, her parents knew, it would be months before I told my parents. I hated Florida. On March 19, 1983 my daughter was born. I never saw her. we had already decided we would give her up for adoption. Still have never seen her to this day, shes 22 now. Here's another kicker, March 19 also happens to be MY birthday. I moved back to MA to be with my girlfriend, but it wasnt the same. No one in MY family knows about this to this day other than my parents. One night my gf failed to come home, as I waited all night for her at her house, she showed up the next morning being dropped off by someone who was a friend of mine. eventually we broke up, she went with him, blah blah blah. I got her back for a brief time, but again, not the same. I got tegether with her a few times even after she was engaged to be married, again, not the same.
A few years later, April 27 1985, I was arrested for operating under the influence, went to trial. Spent my entire summer worrying that I'd be going to jail. Had a six man jury trial and was found not guilty. I had been drunk for three years prior to that night. haven't had a drink since. i moved out of my parents house at 18, lived with my grandmother and slept on her sofa because my own brother wouldn't allow me to live in the house I grew up in because his f'ing wife didnt want me there. Finally my parents stepped in and I got to live in the basement. My parents eventually sold the house, I had to move. Found a place to live and I fixed it up, then the bitch who owned it tripled my rent. I took off in the middle of the night, stiffed her with three months rent and moved into a house with three friends. got a decent job, but lost it because I couldnt travel the distance they wanted me to, during that job I met a girl and we started going out, then we found out she was pregnant with my child, two days before I lost my job, We had a child on March 5, 1993.<- that date also haunts me, it was the birthdate of my first love, so now we share something yet again. My sons mother thought it was a better idea to party when he was an infant so I was left with a baby on my own after I tossed her out.
One of my best friends was killed when he fell from the back of a pickup truck and whacked his head on the pavement, he was 20 years old. I lost yet another a few years later when a friend died from complications from pneumonia, he was 30. I had a 102 degree fever and I was at his graveside. His mom was hysterical.
In between all of this I had been in and out of local jails because I spent way too much time smoking pot and got caught. ( never near, or around my son )
I met another girl, who would work for me, we hated each other at first, she would become my wife, still is to this day, but I haven't been true to her, as early as my wedding night. I was downstairs making out with another woman, who I had started seeing before I even met my wife, and that girl was also the gf of one of my closest friends. they were at my wedding, she kissed me there, OMG. I've done a few other things as well since then with other women. Just can't seem to keep em off me.
Just yesterday I found out that my sons mother wants more money for child support. Ughhh. I've got a mortgage to pay as well as two car payments, now I gotta pay more money to a bitch I can't stand so she can live in a house she owns with her boyfriend,and my son.
My back is failing me, I've worked retail all my life and its catching up with me, I've worked stockrooms and been unloading trucks for almost 30 years, I can hardly lift anything anymore, my back aches all day and into the night. I am in constant pain. Ive had surgery on my neck as well, which isn't a pleasant thing to do since it was a local anesthetic and it wore off halfway through.
Look alive kid, you're only 13, change your attitude now. You've got friends, they are here, you just haven't met them yet in person.
Go to the beach if you can, walk along the ocean, its really the most peacful place on earth.
Last edited by One Night Stand; 04-21-2005 at 07:44 AM.