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Goatnce · 02-13-2004, 08:17 PM

Dear sir/madam,
My name is Matt, i am 16 years old and a resident of Burlington. I am a keen music fan and was wondering about the possibility of another music store in the Milcroft, Guelph line area, with a wider range of CDs availabale in this area? For example, a HMV, Sunrise Records or Music World?
This is due to the fact that the kind of CDs i want (metal, punk etc) are for some reason, not allowed to be stockd in the stores near here (Zellers and Wal-mart). As a teenager, i therefore find it difficult to be able to enjoy the music i love due to Zellers and Wal-mart not stocking these kind of CDs, and the only stores which do actually stock them are too far away and i am then unable to afford the journey there and back.

Thankyou in advance for reading,

Yours sincerely,
I dunno what else to put or how to make it sound "professional" help..lol

I want my voice heard! hehe

02-13-2004, 08:38 PM

First, you start off "To whom it may concern:". You then voice your opinion, but to teenager with bad grammar and shit, they wouldn't even listen. They may think that the music is messing with your head.

Goatnce · 02-13-2004, 08:44 PM

true, i suck at it i know. so how about this? And if you wish you can edit it to sound better. i would some how want "Collecting music is one of my favorite hobbys" in it some where..

"To whom it may concern

Dear sir/madam,
My name is Matt, i am 16 years old and a resident of Burlington. I am a keen music fan and was wondering about the possibility of another music store in the Milcroft, Guelph line area, with a wider range of CDs availabale in this area? For example, a HMV, Sunrise Records or Music World?
This is due to the fact that the kind of CDs i want (metal, punk etc) are for some reason, not allowed to be stockd in the stores near here (Zellers and Wal-mart). As a teenager, i therefore find it difficult to be able to enjoy the music i love due to Zellers and Wal-mart not stocking these kind of CDs, and the only stores which do actually stock them are too far away and i am then unable to afford the journey there and back.

Thankyou in advance for reading,

Yours sincerely"

ChristopheR. · 02-13-2004, 08:50 PM

No you put the "To whom it may concern" instead of the "Dear Sir/Madam"

02-13-2004, 08:52 PM

To Whom It May Concern:

Listening to music is one of my favorite hobbies. It keeps me out of trouble, and it relaxes me. The thing is, I find it hard to find the kind of music at *Your Local store*. I think it would be better to have a variety of music there. Stores around here do not have a variety of music to choose from. The loacl stores go for what they want to shelf. They do not want to shelf what we want. I think it would be in the best interest of the customers and the store to shelf *kind of music here* music. You will be pleased by the uproar in sales if you do.

Sincerely,
*Whatever you want here*

-----------------------------------------------

It's a cheap short one, but heh, it will get them to listen. I didn't put anything to support my argument, but you should get the idea.

Goatnce · 02-13-2004, 08:55 PM

Thats good.but Zellers An Wal-Mart cant sell any metal music its one of their rules. but is this 1 good enough prob?

To whom it may concern,

My name is Matt, i am 16 years old and a resident of Burlington. I am a keen music fan and listening to music is one of my favorite hobbies. It keeps me out of trouble, and it relaxes me. And i was wondering about the possibility of another music store in the Milcroft, Guelph line area, with a wider range of CDs availabale in this area? For example, a HMV, Sunrise Records or Music World?
This is due to the fact that the kind of CDs i want (metal, punk etc) are for some reason, not allowed to be stockd in the stores near here (Zellers and Wal-mart). As a teenager, i therefore find it difficult to be able to enjoy the music i love due to Zellers and Wal-mart not stocking these kind of CDs, and the only stores which do actually stock them are too far away and i am then unable to afford the journey there and back.

Thankyou in advance for reading

Yours sincerely,

if not you are welcome to change parts because that has like mosrlt everytihng i need.

Angel · 02-14-2004, 01:10 AM

What the hell? Your city isn't concerned with putting in a new business or it shouldn't. if you want a new shop, send that letter to a music company and explain to them their is a good spot of business open and they can make a lot of money.

That is what you should do.

02-14-2004, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Goatnce said in post #6 :
Thats good.but Zellers An Wal-Mart cant sell any metal music its one of their rules. but is this 1 good enough prob?

To whom it may concern,

My name is Matt, i am 16 years old and a resident of Burlington. I am a keen music fan and listening to music is one of my favorite hobbies. It keeps me out of trouble, and it relaxes me. And i was wondering about the possibility of another music store in the Milcroft, Guelph line area, with a wider range of CDs availabale in this area? For example, a HMV, Sunrise Records or Music World?
This is due to the fact that the kind of CDs i want (metal, punk etc) are for some reason, not allowed to be stockd in the stores near here (Zellers and Wal-mart). As a teenager, i therefore find it difficult to be able to enjoy the music i love due to Zellers and Wal-mart not stocking these kind of CDs, and the only stores which do actually stock them are too far away and i am then unable to afford the journey there and back.

Thankyou in advance for reading

Yours sincerely,

if not you are welcome to change parts because that has like mosrlt everytihng i need.

You never put a comma in a business letter.

Angel · 02-14-2004, 02:23 AM

If it's to a busniess partner only, no. If it's to a business partner a friend, it isn't such a big deal.

D-Man · 02-14-2004, 04:15 PM

Goatnce, Lime Ridge Mall has both an HMV and Music World, if you're willing to drive there you can pick up the music you're looking for there.

If not that, check out Eastgate, Mapleview or Centre Mall.