Re: Official Indy DVD Discussion Thread
Yesterday I was treated to a 25-minute main event for the United States Barbecue Fest Championship between 53-year-old Tatanka and Trent? It was as bizarre as it sounds, if not more so. This all took place at the 6 Corners Barbecue Fest in Chicago. There was even a table spot, where Trent threw Tatanka into the merch table and the legs gave way. That wasn't supposed to happen but it was awesome. But, fuck, 25 minutes, outdoors, at a Rib Fest. And that stupid fucking title belt they had, the old WWF Tag Title, but a US-flag version. Tatanka won with a Samoan Drop, which made sense. Giving the guy who had his land taken from him the United States title, also makes sense. And the match was completely tame, with Trent toning down himself to a nub for what had to be the easiest payday ever. Good for him.
Somehow, that wasn't the most bizarre sight of the day. Jimmy Jacobs and a random luchador beat two fake Russian guys, which was, well, OK. Whatever. Then Svengoolie was out there, and he was cutting promos about his TV show until some random wrestler with a playboy gimmick rolled up and started trash talking Berwyn's favorite Son. (He's "Son of Svengoolie," see. Also: He's not related to the original Svengoolie. Wrap you stupid heads around THAT!) Anyway, Anthony Nese made the save as he arrived on a white horse while gladiator music played him to the ring, and he had the little gladiator helmet on and everything. This blew my damn mind, and it blew the minds of the kids too, because there were like, 200-300 of the little buggers there, along with us older marks.
What ejected my mind clean out the back of my skull, however, was a match between Caleb Konley and some Canadian dude -- in a flag match. I didn't know whether to roll my eyes or keep them fuckers glued to what I was about to witness, but I chose to go with my friend to get her another beer. Overall, a good decision, because Konley jobbed to the no-name Canadian guy... and Konley, with the USA gimmick, was the most over with the crowd, by far. Made zero sense, and he was the only face to lose. And he loses in a flag match. To a Canadian. Like, of any heel to go over, come on, oh man. Balls to the wall stupidity, and I absolutely adored it.
1) Tatanka is REAL. He can still work. Granted, he still works those real slowly paced, theatrical, early '90s style matchups, but he works that crowd. Even if the crowd is mostly children, shut up!
2) Tatanka is OVER. I told him he should've been the one to body slam Yokozuna on the USS Intrepid and he agreed. Didn't pull a MASADA and charge people for photos or selfies. Didn't really hawk his merch too much, though he had a ton.
3) Trent? worked heel and did very well. Jacobs worked face, under the Zombie Princess moniker, and did well, especially with the little girls who think it's cute that a grown man can also be a princess. Nese and Konley were faces.
4) Black and white face/heel dynamics are simple and effective, and it hurts my head to think they're trying to get away from all that. There were clear-cut good guys and bad guys on today's card, sometimes a little too clear-cut (evil Russians, Canadian, etc.). But it worked. Promoters need to understand that a majority of fans are younger or probably somewhere on the autistic spectrum, so spelling things out for the whole crowd isn't exactly a bad thing. (I'd consider places like this board, full of smarter fans, the vocal minority.) Plus, it got the right people the right heat, which is what matters. Watching wrestling where there are no faces or heels is boring because the live crowds don't know how to react.
The table bump, the draw, the gladiator/white horse shtick, fuck. Way too much for me today. I was craving the stupidest wrestling I could find, and goddamn, did I ever find it. Sadly, I don't think these 94 minutes will make a DVD cut.