“The Thirteenth Hat” Results
January 28, 2011
Chikara returned to Easton for the premiere of Season 11, setting an attendance record for the Easton Funplex.
Green Ant defeated Mike Quackenbush with Chikara Special Green, the submission he unveiled at High Noon back in November. Handshakes before and after the match.
Dasher Hatfield entered the ring to announce the debut of the newest member of the Throwbacks, “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti.
Jigsaw defeated Kobald with a superkick.
Gran Akuma and Icarus went to a double countout. Icarus attempted to leave, but Gregory Iron came out to stop him. Iron then slapped Akuma, presumably as payback for getting hit with a spinning heel kick at High Noon.
3.0 defeated Jakob Hammermeier and Tim Donst, after hitting Hammermeier with the Sweet Taste of Professionalism, a wheelbarrow facebuster/lungblower combination. This win gives 3.0 their second point. Donst spent most of the match berating Hammermeier whenever he was “losing” the match and after the match when he got pinned.
At intermission, fans were invited in the ring to take photos with Dasher Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown.
Hallowicked defeated Archibald Peck after blocking the victory roll. Veronica was visibly annoyed at the loss and left without Peck.
Ophidian, sporting a new look which can be seen here defeated Hieracon with the bridging cobra clutch. After the match, Ophidian took Hieracon’s mask.
As the main event was being announced, Vin Gerard came in through a side door and grabbed a mic. Before he could say anything substantial, the referees, security, and Eddie Kingston came to the ring. The security got Gerard out of the building, and Kingston threatened Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur to make the match, which brought out Jigsaw to try and calm Kingston down.
The Colony defeated The Batiri after Fire Ant hit Obariyon with the Beach Break. A fan brought a box of sugar, which was put on the line for the match. (Soldier Ant loves sugar.) After the match, The Colony celebrated with the sugar and a young fan that the Batiri was yelling at the whole match. This also gives the Colony their first point.
Guess that's the last we'll see of Gresham since Ophidian has pretty much killed the Portal, like they're building to Vin/Kingston and it's clear 3.0 is going to challenge for the tag titles in Canada.
Originally Posted by Eddie Kingston
....It's like watching Lost and getting angry at the end. "Fuck I've been watching this show for six years and it turned out to be the bullshit thing I thought it would be!"