Is a Snit Head
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Re: Official Indy DVD Thread
$5 Wrestling: Tournament of Champions
I'm kind of tired and fell asleep watching BOLA. Probably ruined Steen/Finlay for myself. So now I'm watching this where falling asleep during a match would be a mercy.
Awesome opening video with some old school wrestlers talking about how important being a champion was. Then they showed all the $5 wrestlers....
New Generation Champion vs. America's Champion
Dyn-O-Mite vs. Raider Rock
Why does Raider Rock have on face paint? And why does he have a different belt every time I see him wrestle? Also why the hell did this end in a time limit draw? I had to watch these two wrestle for well over 10 minutes, I can't think of anything worse aside from watching them wrestle for over 11 minutes. It was shocking how every single move they did looked terrible, they should both be banned from ever going to the top rope again. Also Raider Rock has the worst move set of all time, an amazing mix of headlocks for the most part. This is going to be a tough show to watch....
Gay PRIDE Champion vs. NWA Middle Eastern Champion
T Dawg HG w/Young Boy #2 vs. The Sheik
Anyone that sees this match should be shot. I'm willing to say that and I've seen the fucking match. Highly disturbing to see the Young Boy/T Dawg dynamic, as in it appears to be dangerously close to statutory rape. Also I'm almost positive the Sheik wins this match by punching T Dawg in the back, and that was the only move he did. I would say this is the worst match ever but Young Boy #2 takes some bumps in the beginning that actually resembled wrestling. Everyone that sees this should be as disgusted as the Sheik was.
Samoan Welterweight Champion vs. FIP Florida Heritage Champion
Rolo Samoa vs. Sean Van Halen
Let me just go on record and say this, Sean Van Halen is not a champion in FIP. This was the MOTN, granted it was still awful but hey someone has to be in the MOTN. Lots of stiff strikes, OK maybe there was only one really stiff slap but it looked awesome. Rolo is a disgrace to Samoa though. He's not a welterweight and he is the only Samoan that you can hit in the head and he is hurt by it. You never headbutt a Samoan unless the Samoan is Rolo. Stupid fucking ending too. This just makes it above the negative star range...
MTTV Channel 10 Champion vs. RCW Champion
Masked Assassin vs. American Idiot
You have got to be shitting me with this. American Idiot is clearly Raider Rock, I mean they both cut promos that sounded exactly the same and American Idiot came out with the American Championship, which is fucking Raider Rock's belt. And Masked Assassin is the Sheik!!!! They have the same exact ring gear, the fans aren't stupid $5 wrestling. Who are you trying to fool? Assassin just beats the shit out of American idiot in something that I guess could be called a match. We did see some patented Raider Rock headlocks at least.
Tournament of Champions Championship Match (yeah that's what they fucking called this match)
Masked Assassin vs. The Sheik
OK so these two guys are clearly the same person. I mean no doubt at all that they are the same. So how does this match take place? Freight Train wears the Masked Assassin mask and claims that it was him all along. Never mind the fact that he came out to the Freight Train music did the, "Choo-Choo!" on his way to the ring and only wore the mask over his eyes and not the rest of his face, it wasn't Freight Train. At this point I was just insulted, anyone that can see or hear would know that 2 different guys played Masked Assassin and that the guy in this match is Freight Train. Oh and the match was fucking terrible. Freight Train only left his feet for an elbow drop (which he uses as a finisher) and to make a cover. Aside from that he just beat up Sheik the whole time with his very shitty looking offense. How can any serious wrestling company call this a main event?
I didn't even fall asleep. I sat through this entire agonizing tournament that was even worse than a WCW Tag Title Tournament in 2000 where the NWO just beat everyone up before all the matches. My intelligence as a wrestling fan was insulted. This company is a fucking joke. Thank God I only have one more to go. On the plus side this was only about an hour long.