Re: Official Indy DVD Thread
5 Dollar Wrestling: The Debut Show
AJ Cross vs. Raymond Helms
Not only is does this show everything that is wrong with indy wrestling it shows everything is wrong with wrestling in general. Seemingly random moves at all point, not even attempting to hide when you talk to your opponent, and two bland and terrible wrestlers. I only watched this like an hour ago and all I remember are all these terrible moves. Absolute crap.
Sean Van Halen vs. Masked Assassin #6
Masked Assasin you are a piece of shit. From your terrible ring gear that is a giant jock strap over under armor to the complete lack of any wrestling skills whatsoever. Your control segments fucking suck and you only seem capable of rest holds. Don't even get me started on Sean Van Halen, it's not the fucking 80s anymore asshole. And you haven't been rockin and rollin all over the world. Also you are one of the worst high fliers ever and totally botched the finish. I don't even know what I just saw in the ring.
Sweet Dreams vs. Wolfman
Why the fuck is your name Wolf Man? You don't do anything that reminds me of a wolf unless all wolves are shitty wrestlers. You don't even have hair. Have you ever seen a wolf? They have hair. And why is this terrible company playing "Hungry Like a Wolf" after Sweet Dreams won? That doesn't even make any sense! Sweet Dreams also has the worst finishing move in wrestling. Just terrible.
America Championship Match:
Raider Rock vs. The Sheik(c)
The Sheik is the worst wrestler, even worse than Masked Assassin #6. He just beat up Rock with of this sloppy and generally terrible offense for the entire match. And literally the stupidest ending I've ever seen in a match. I don't get it! Worse than the Screwjob and Finger Poke of Doom combined. This match brought shame to the once great America Championship. One of the worst things that has ever taken place in a wrestling ring.
The Clay's vs. The Heart Throbs
What the shit is this fuck? Do they know how to wrestle a match. Hey lets have the heels dominate the whole match and beat up the babyface. We'll tease the hot tag the whole fucking time and end the match without ever making a the hot tag. Oh and for the actual finish lets just have you try to pick me up and we'll just both fall down. What a terrible idea for a match. How can 3 experienced veterans and a second generation superstar have such an atrocious match? Is there a single redeeming factor about this? No there isn't at all. I don't know what could possibly be worse. Being forced to watch this is truly a face worse than death. Oh and fuck you Wild Willy.
Literally the worst wrestling in the entire universe. I could work better matches with my friends on a mattress in my basement. I don't think any of these guys know how to wrestle and they just have the worst characters and personalities. The crowd fucking sucked, the arena sucked, and the wrestling sucked. I don't understand how I haven't committed suicide yet. The terrible thing is that I still have a whole stack of these fucking 5 Dollar Wrestling DVDs that I have to sit through. Seriously someone needs to come to my apartment and put me out of my misery.