KaijuFan's Stoned Reviews:
PWG - The Secret Of Guerrilla Island
Alright, time for the black sheep show of the year. I'll be packing myself some kush for this one in hopes it elevates any negativity. Since it's one of those PWG covers that don't list the cards, but rather summarizes the night in two paragraphs, I'm hoping for the best.
I love that PWG held a 10 bell salute for the late Misawa, rest in peace sir.
Paul Burch...I mean...Johnny Goodtime vs Charles Mercury:
Ok I love Goodtime already, he hails from his mother's basement. Already I must see more of this guy. Also, matches are forever now dubbed 'situations' according to Joey Ryan and Excalibur. Oh right, there's a match I have to recap.
Goodtime seemed to want a good showing, but Mercury seemed a little off. Mercury did have some nice moves though, and Goodtime had two really bad falls to the floor. All I can really even begin to talk about is how very retro Joey Ryan esque that Goodtime is. If you've seen the Hollywood Globetrotters dvd cover you'll know what I'm talking about.
Chuck Taylor vs Human Tornado:
Is it a crime to expect things to happen? Is it a crime for wishful thinking? Then why am I being punished by what could have been? Let's lay out the situation here, and no, I don't mean match. I have just consumed three bowls of mids and Chuck Taylor is about to fight Human Tornado. Am I a bad person to expect funny things to ensue? Well, I sure feel like one. The match never really seemed to pick up, it's like they were stuck in first gear the entire time. The commentary saved this from being a total drag though, that silly bitch Excalibur sure can make one laugh.
It wasn't so much a bad match, than just an average match. I can't really remember a single spot that happened other than the lame finisher reversal sequence.
The Cutler Bros vs Malachi Jackson and LTP:
LTP should really be GFC, Garey Fuckin' Coleman. GFC is totally lost in the ring, him and Malachi had no real tag chemistry going. As the match continued it just got lost in itself. The Cutlers aren't experienced enough to lead a match and it's even worse that their opponents are even greener.
I know I'm probably sounding contradictory here after saying it's about enjoyment, but when my enjoyment is hindered by botches, it really means something. This is the first time I've seen GFC and he just seemed to be the indy version of rey mysterio with Gary Coleman's head. He'll be great in two years, mark my words. But for now,
YES IT'S TIME FOR REDEMPTION!
Kenny Omega vs Roderick Strong:
Let's go on an adventure. In timeline one, we have Kenny Omega vs Roderick Strong ending the way it really did on dvd. In timeline two, we have Kenny Omega vs Roderick Strong ending in a different way, the match actually having a winner and loser.
Timeline one just comes off as awkward and really didn't do anything but make me confused and disinterested in what was happening. Why wrestle a meaningless extra minuet of nearfalls if it's just going to be a draw again?
Timeline two actually gives us a conclusive ending. The fact that it actually has an ending makes it preferable to what actually happened back in timeline one. However, I also think that either man taking a loss wouldn't have harmed their image in the slightest. In fact, I think the only match Kenny Omega has won was the first round in the DDT4 tournament. Despite only having one victory, the man is over like shit and another loss would only add to his underdog inspired fanbase.
Sigh. Maybe I should just take a time machine back with Bill and Ted, I don't think Keanu Reeves is doing anything lately anyway.
El Generico vs Scott Lost:
I honestly don't know how to explain this. It's....a match featuring El Specifico and Scott Lost. Why isn't this amazing? Something about the flow was just...off, kind of like Claudio vs Kingston from Chikara.
Ol' DR vs Nick Jackson:
*** 2/3 of an 8th
MOTN thus far. Davey basically raped the kid and I think the Bucks are now solidly heels. The ref bit towards the end makes me think something is up. Omega on commentary also helped lighten the mood, you can really tell when Davey is having fun in the ring.
Necro Butcher vs Joey Ryan:
Nothing really memorable, just a hardcore match. I was more interested in the commentary than anything.
Overall an alright show but you're not missing anything if you don't see it except for a great video segment furthering the Men of Low Moral Fiber vs Generico feud.