Real Muthaphuckkin' Christmas G's
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: RUTHLESS RECORDS
Re: Official DVD/Match/Show Discussion Thread
Elimination Chamber 2012
WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match
I was kind of blown away when this was the opener, I thought to myself "wow, Smackdown actually gets to main event a PPV for once?", boy was I wrong. The workrate in this match is actually pretty solid, and the bumps taken by Ziggler are absolutely brutal, proving that a match does not need blood in order to be violent. R-Truth wasn't in the match too long and didn't serve much of a purpose(he was eliminated by an elbow drop FFS), while Miz was his usual self (I swear to god he's afraid to take a bump or something). Punk/Kingston/Jericho are all pretty awesome here also, as the match itself is quite great, but there is one pressing issue facing this match that makes me not like it as much as I should: The drama.
I mean, damn. With the exception of Jericho and Punk, nobody had a shot at winning this thing and it was blatantly obvious. Besides that, how about that atrocious booking? There was no reason for Jericho to be in this match at all, as the feud between Punk and Jericho had no real heat to it yet. But, shitty booking aside, this match was a workrate chamber with a high intensity and some absolute VIOLENCE on the outside. The MVP of this match is a tossup between Ziggler and Punk, with all 6 workers giving it their all in this one. The whole concussion angle with Jericho didn't really work for me either, and it slowed the match down completely, but it was a fantastic opener, Punk retains.
Beth Phoenix vs Tamina Snuka
Can you think of any division in Wrestling history that is more boring than the current Divas division ? I can't recall one specifically. This match was actually quite decent for a Divas match nowadays, which is more than I can say about alot of these Divas matches that I see on PPV. Sure, there are some moves botched and barely anybody in the arena cares, but the pace they were working at, and the story that they both told in the ring was decent enough to carry this match for almost 8 minutes. Plus, we get to see a Superfly Splash and an awesome nearfall where I actually thought Tamina was taking the title home. Silly me, Beth wins this. Above average match for two divas, but still a very MEH match.
World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match
Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me that on a show called ELIMINATION CHAMBER, a fucking AMBULANCE MATCH will be the main event? Oh well, this match was pretty good for the talent that was involved. Outside of Daniel Bryan and Cody Rhodes, we had one of the worst workers in WWE history (Khali), a mediocre giant (Big Show), a comedy wrestler (Santino), and a borefest (Barrett). Instead of doing the smart thing and having Bryan and Rhodes start and carry the match, we have to suffer through 5 minutes of Show vs Barrett, and than Rhodes and Barrett vs Show. They actually work on the Big Show pretty well (to their credit), but Wade dosen't interest me in the slightest so there you go. The crowd is going INSANE for Santino in this one, as he actually gets some good offense. This is all pretty mediocre stuff at this point, and Khali lasts about 2 minutes in the chamber, a smart move (seriously).
The match picks up when Bryan enters at #6 (shocker). It's really a tale of two matches, as from this point on, this match kicked ASS at a great pace, with some awesome storytelling and a hot crowd. The fact that Barrett and Rhodes knock off the Big Show, but Rhodes allows his confidence to lead to his defeat as well was compelling, as well as Santino's elimination of Barrett. The last few minutes are actually amazing, as Bryan does a great job of selling the fact that Santino actually MIGHT WIN the world championship. However, thankfully Bryan retains in a bipolar matchup, with half of it being boring and the other half being packed with a fast pace and excitement. At the end of the day, this is worse than the Raw Chamber, but it is still a good/great match. MVP would have to go to either Rhodes or Bryan.
Jack Swagger vs Justin Gabriel United States Championship Match
This match was just announced during a horrible backstage segment involving farting, Hornswoggle, Vickie Guerrero, and putrid acting from Justin Gabriel. I mean, GOD DAMN his moveset is flashy and exciting, but this guy is HORRENDOUS on the mic and has very little charisma. Practically a nothing match here to get the crowd simmered down for the main event. It's only 3 minutes and has absolutely no structure or psychology, but there are actually some awesome moves and stiff shots here that just make this match actually half worthwhile to watch. Swagger retains with ease as I have NO CLUE what WWE is doing booking matches like these.
John Cena vs Kane Ambulance Match
Let me start off by saying I actually like this match. Sure, it isn't fantastic it terms of workrate or anything, but it has some good quality violence mixed in with some great spots, half decent psychology and some pretty good storytelling. I like how the match is so one sided in Kane's favor at one point, until Cena goes absolutely beserk and just DESTROYS Kane with various weapons, even managing to get some of his "swagger" back until Kane chokeslams him through the announce table in a really cool spot. The playfulness that Cena exerts amongst the carnage is an indicator that he has NOT embraced the hate, which I felt was necessary for the storyline.
Where I think this match isn't the greatest is in the drama department. I mean, let's face it here, was there any doubt that Cena was going to win ? Not in my mind. Also, alot of this match is just setting up for spots or when the competitors are dragging each other to the ambulance, which aren;t the most exciting moments. To wrap this match up, I'll say this: The end spot was pretty cool, and some of the violence was great, and it was an all around ENTERTAININGLY GREAT match, with a few key flaws (mostly in the technical department) that keep it from going to the next level. Good match though, I'd definitely watch again.
There was an hour and 40 minutes of wrestling on this show, an hour and a half of that being dedicated to 3 matches that were ***-*** 1/2 encounters, so that's actually pretty damn good. Besides those 3 matches, we have two basic filler matches that are MEH and are a combined 10 minutes long. We also got a pretty damn long segment featuring John Laurinitis that I thought dragged on a bit too long, but at a second glance, the wrestling was SOLID. I say solid because there is nothing resembling a classic on this card, but the main 3 matches are pretty good nonetheless. My problem with this PPV is simple..WHY DOES IT EXIST ?!?!
At the end of the show, We have no new champions, two world title feuds continue, and Cena is still just going on to face Rock at Wrestlemania, so that makes this PPV EXTREMELY HARD to grade. Individually, we have 3 long matches that are rock solid, but they don't necessarily provide any advancements to the storylines that they are in. Watch the 3 main matches online (don't need to go out of your way to watch them), and skip the rest. Buy if you're a hardcore DVD collector, because no doubt atleast one of the main 3 matches will be on a best of 2012 DVD set anyways.
& HAVE A F*CKED UP NEW YEAR.