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Re: Official DVD/Match/Show Discussion Thread
There has to be a joke somewhere correlating HHH's sex life & his wrestling career. Does he insist about constantly staying on top? Does he end with a satisfactory finish? Does he try to last as long as he does wrestling like a modern age Flair? Is his dialogue as captivating as 'THIS ISN'T UFC'?
That being said I'll layout the general appropriate respone to a HHH sex discussion:
Okay, before anybody starts reading this, I COMMAND YOU to listen to this music in the background.
Done that? GOOD. Okay, now it's time for the...
1988 - 1999 ROYAL RUMBLE SNOWFLAKE RUNDOWN BONANZA FUN TIME
1988 - ** - Mostly pointless. Not many big names and only 20 guys. Hacksaw Jim Duggan wins! 1989 - *** - Moved up to 30 participants. Hogan gets eliminated fairly then eliminates Bossman because he's a SORE LOSER CUNT. Last two men are Big John Studd and Ted Dibiase. Studd almost kills Ted by dropping him on the turnbuckle. Big John Studd wins! 1990 - ***1/2 - Opening salvo reeks of big names (Dibiase, Piper, Roberts and Savage). Dibiase is the iron man lasting 51 minutes or so. Hulk Hogan wins! 1991 - **1/2 - Bit of a dull affair compared to 1990. Greg Valentine and Rick Martel are the iron men, lasting 45 and 51 minutes respectively. Luke The Bushwhacker elimination is HILARIOUS. Hulk Hogan wins again! 1992 - ***** - THE DADDY! So many stars! Ric Flair pulls off monumental performance lasting over an hour. Hogan gets eliminated fairly and acts like a dick AGAIN. He's supposed to be the ultimate face? Ric Flair wins! GREATEST RUMBLE OF ALL TIME. 1993 - *** - For some reason I really enjoyed this RR, even though it looked horrendous on paper. AMAZING Backlund performance and story, the crowd was going nuts after he eliminated Martel at the hour mark. Giant Gonzalez debuts! Yokozuna wins! 1994 - ***1/2 - Intervals down to 90 seconds instead of two minutes. This match happened straight after the UT 'death' angle so the crowd are still dumbfounded. Diesel eliminates nearly everybody in the ring. Rick Steiner looked lazy as hell in this. Bret Hart and Lex Luger win! 1995 - *1/2 - Intervals down once again to 60 seconds. This was horrendous. HBK and Bulldog carry the entire match, and the match is 90% jobbers. Decent finish, even if you could spot it a mile off. Shawn Michaels wins! 1996 - ***1/2 - Intervals back to two minutes thank GOD. Jake Roberts makes his return in this one and VADER debuts, looking like a fucking beast. HBK eliminates Vader and Yokozuna simultaneously which is BULLSHIT. HHH is the iron man lasting around 50 minutes or so. Shawn Michaels wins! 1997 - ***1/2 - Intervals back to 90 seconds. FUCK SAKE sort it out. Steve Austin is THE MAN in this one. Lots of Mexican AAA 'talent' in this one. Mil Mascaras manages to eliminate himself the silly old cunt. Terry Funk is in this. Austin is the iron man, and is eliminated by Bret Hart even though the refs didn't see so Austin throws Hart out and Hart cries and AUSTIN WINS! 1998 - **1/2 - Back to two minutes. I DARE the WWF to stay consistent with their times. This one is a no-brainer in terms of who was going to win. Lots of guys with iron man performances and this Rumble just drags. Foley pulls off a master performance entering as Cactus, Mankind and Dude Love. Steve Austin wins! 1999 - ***1/4 - Back to 90 seconds...eurgh. Austin and McMahon start. Austin gets attacked and is out for the whole match. Mabel is the sacrificial whale for the new Ministry Of Darkness. Decent ending, and McMahon is on commentary for the second half. Rock distracts Austin and McMahon wins!
May do 2000-2012 later but I need to actually watch most of them again.
Lol @ this thread now. HHH's sex life is something to be jealous about. Lucky motherfucker gets on top of the business by marrying Steph and now he's doing her every day and probably gets it in from the backside too.
Also huge @ the talk of Taker tapping out in that Angle match.
1991 to me was just boring. The best Rumbles I feel are split up into different parts. 1991 was just all congealed into one long drawn out contest with no real stand out moments. Not a bad match at all, but just lacked that something. At least it had two minute intervals.