Gonna try and keep up with EVERYTHING this year if I can. Started well so far:
Antonio Cesaro Vs The Great Khali - United States Championship - Main Event 02/01/2013 - 1/4*
Khali gets USA chants. Pretty much sums up the WWE Universe. Typical Khali match. He lumbers about hitting shitty offence, then his opponent goes for the legs and does nothing of interest with the leg work. Comeback. Finish. Cesaro hits his finisher for the win. Shite match to start off 2013 in WWE.
Cesaro and Miz look like they are gonna feud. Seems WWE's best way to make sure we know he's a babyface is to have him suck up to America against TEH EVIL FOREIGNER. Urgh. If they do feud I fucking hope Jiz doesn't take the title.
Wade Barrett Vs Yoshi Tatsu, JTG, Justin Gabriel, Kofi Kingston - Main Event 02/01/2013 - 1/2*
Over-hyped gymnast. And Wade Barrett does the only good thing of his career so far. Gives Kofi the perfect nickname.
This is a Gauntlet match. Wade knocks out Tatsu with an elbow straight away. JTG next. Barrett just kinda sits on a rest hold then hits him with the elbow. Yawn. Gabriel time. He gets some offence in. Oh look, Barrett gains control and REST HOLD. Can totally see why people want him to be WWE/Heavyweight champion...
Nice moonsault from Gabriel. Onto Barrett's legs. And not in the good way like HBK/Undertaker when it made sense to land on the legs. Elbow and its over.
Kofi who has been on commentary during this dull Barrett borefest, ends up being the last guy. Fuck knows how he set it up, Barrett only announced the Gauntlet when he came out to the ring. And Kofi was already out to do commentary. Trouble in Paradise and Barrett loses. LOL. Shit Gauntlet match. Terrible Main Event show.
Bo Dallas Vs Epico - NXT 03/01/2013 - 1/2*
Bo Dallas creeps me the fuck out. Epic cheats a little and attacks Bo's eyes. Regal on commentary: Take the eyes away from the competitor. They can't see what they're hitting. I like a bit of that.
Dallas' comeback involves him getting sexual pleasure from being hit and asking for more or something. Creepy fucker. Creeps me the fuck out. Spear and its over. This wasn't good. Michael McGuillitlitnmanstehjrjbfncutty shows up to save a potential 2 on 1 situation after the match. Oh god its gonna be a tag match next week isn't it?
Sasha Banks Vs Tamina - NXT 03/01/2013 - 1/4*
What can I say about this? It sucked. That's what I can say about it.
Kassius Ohno & Leo Kruger Vs Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel - NXT 03/01/2013 - *1/2
Finally, a match in 2012 with some potential. Damn, nothing special. Kidd and Gabriel look good at the start, then the heels control and its nothing worth talking about. Hot tag comes across as being ice cold. Finish comes out of nowhere in the sense that I didn't see that move ending it. Still the best wrestling I've seen in 2013
Seth Rollins Vs Corey Graves - NXT Championship - NXT 03/01/2013 - **
NXT kicked off this week with The Shield jumping 2 nobodies. Dusty came out and forced Rollins to defend his NXT title or he would be stripped of it.
Match is very back and forth, nobody gains any kind of real advantage. Graves keeps going for the leg, while Rollins does his best to keep Graves at bay with his more flashy moveset. Graves hooks in a leg submission and The Shield come out and this one is over. Dusty sends out the NXT locker room. And they look like jobbers as 3 men take them all apart
. Bo Dallas ends up on his own at the end and gets destroyed. YES. Kill the creepy fucker. Triple powerbomb. I love The Shield
BIG E LANGSTON. All this stuff was taped before TLC and that so like, yeah, he's a babyface here lol. The Shield back down.
Match was ok, give them 15 minutes and a finish and no doubt they could do something great together. But as it was, they got little time and no finish. Dusty announces that Big E gets a title shot next week. I wonder who wins...
The Miz Vs Heath Slater - Smackdown - 04/01/2013 - **3/4
Urgh. Miz is the Chavo of WWE. The fact his first move in this match is a dropkick is awesome. Couldn't have written it better myself. I like how WWE are making Miz a face... by having him have no likeable qualities whatsoever. But who cares, he can just chant USA and get over like he did on Main Event.
Jinder Mahawful and the talented 3MB member Drew McIntyre get sent to the back. And with McIntyre gone, my interest in this match went from 0 (because he wasn't in it) to -10000 (because he isn't on screen any more). As I watch this, the best match so far of the year is **3/4. This ain't touching that match. Urgh.
Oh hey, match is actually picking up a bit. Slater is doing alright controlling things, and Miz isn't screwing the match up doing his shit because he's just taking offence for the most part rather than giving (Miz taking rather than giving. Sums up my thoughts on the guy tbh). Couple of nice cut off spots from Slater too. In fact, the longer this match goes on, the better Slater looks. I was starting to warm to him during his "getting killed by legends" period leading up to Raw 1000. Then they did this 3MB crap and I just stopped caring, but yeah, guy looks good.
And of course Miz wins. Because... I dunno. Surprised with how good this match turned out tbh. I went into it bored, but it got better and better thanks to Slater. Current MOTY? I think so.
The Great Khali, Hornswoggle & Natalya Vs Primo, Epico & Rosa Mendes - Smackdown 04/01/2013 - DUD
Oh good god. I'm really regretting my NYR of trying to keep up with EVERYTHING WWE and TNA all year. So much fucking shite I have to sit through.
Kofi Kingston Vs Wade Barrett - Smackdown 04/01/2013 - 1/4*
Oh jesus. Barrett is one of the most boring guys around atm (in terms of getting a push, anyway) and Kofi might be the worst in ring performer atm too. 2013 is NOT starting off good so far.
Stan Hansen is name dropped by JBL. Match bored the shit out of me.
Layla Vs Tamina - Smackdown 04/01/2013 - 1/4*
No wonder I haven't fully watched SD (or any wrestling show for that matter) in such a long time. So much fucking SHIT on paper that would usually make me skip to the end of the match. When it comes to scripting my videos, almost all the "jokes" come from promos and interviews and segments. Who knows if I've missed opportunities for some golden content by skipping so many turn matches lol. Certainly ain't come across anything yet...
Taminia wins. Short match. No fucks given.
The Big Show & Antonio Cesaro Vs Randy Orton & Sheamus - Smackdown 04/01/2013 - ***
Well this is pretty good. Orton stays the fuck out of the match right up until the inish basically, so we get Show and Cesaro battling with Sheamus which is always fun. I like how Sheamus gets chokeslammed and Orton doesn't even attempt to break up the pin. Either that's a complete burial of Show's chokeslam or Orton is a cunt. BROGUE KICK. Sheamus makes the tag to Orton, Orton does... very little then Sheamus tags back in and Orton doesn't look happy. So as Sheamus is setting up a Brogue kick on Cesaro for the win, Orton jumps in with an RKO! Sheamus ain't pleased but makes the cover anyway. Nice finish tbh. I can see they are already planting seeds for an Orton heel turn. Let's hope he gets a character with the change. New MOTY!