TLC randomness and thoughts and shit as I watch it while faking a back injury so I don't have to go to the "premiere" job club
Sin Cara + Tables. Too early in the day to play a botch drinking game. Speaking of botches, King thinks this is a chairs match.
Fuck me at the commentary. Is BAD, but in a funny way. Cole especially is just coming up with really bad one liners to entertain himself.
THE ALL AMERICAN DREAM, DUSTY RHODES. The commentary is providing more botches than Cara. JBL can't pronounce Borat.
Sin Cara is making up for the lack of botches so far. Can't even do a flying head scissors.
Sin Cara's Moveset - Kick. Another kick. Kick again. Followed by a kick. Then a kick. With a couple of kicks here. Another kick there. Here a kick, there a kick, everywhere a kick kick. Old Sin Cara has no moves, e i e i o.
So this isn't elimination style. Shame. Cara goes through a table at least. Fun. He almost missed it too lol. This was ok. Sandow and Rhodes dominated most of it and then won.
Quite like the Sheild's style of promos. Reminds me of the old NWO ones.
Antonio Cesaro... one day he might get a good gimmick. And hopefully once he gets done with R-Trtuh maybe he can get a good PPV opponent. So Cesaro claims that R-Truth is all about making a highlight reel. Yet another thing Truth sucks at.
Poor Cesaro. Literally. He can't afford a mattress. Sleeps on the floor. Reminds me of TNA when the knockouts champion a few years back had a day job because she wasn't earning enough.
Commentators are definitely just entertaining themselves tonight. Quite entertaining.
Speaking of entertaining... wait no. This match isn't. Rest hold.
I see why Kofi and Truth were put as a team. Not because they are both black (though I wouldn't put it past WWE if that was the actual reason), but because their wrestling styles are the same. Everything Truth does seems to involve jumping, spinning and kicking. And its all utter shite.
Cesaro promo. USA SUCKS. IRAN #1. Not word for word, but it might as well be.
Miz TV. The most must change the channel talk show in history. Apparently Miz TV is unpredictable. One minute he's asking hard hitting questions, the next we are seeing a train wreck. I must only see out of one eye or something because its always a train wreck.
3MB - Where Drew McIntyre was sent to die.
3MB are better than Jay Z. Well at least I agree with something.
at them laughing at the Spanish Announce Team because they don't speak English
RICARDO TO THE RESCUE. OH GOD... PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THIS IS GONNA ME DEL RIO'S FACE TURN
Oh god I think it is. Well I guess turning him face can't make him any WORSE... can it? We'll see.
Miz doing what he does best: fuck all while other people do the work. I smell a 6 man.
6 man announced tonight. Told ya.
Team Hell No are gonna burn Shield down. Somewhere Nick Fury is laughing.
Wade Barrett promo. He has a beard since he returned. So he has like, charisma and shit. Why isn't he world champ yet? He deserves it because he has a beard and is English. Sandow deserves it because he has a beard and wears a bath robe. Beards = deserving champions.
Kofi Vs Barrett.
Barrett loses. LOL.
CM PUNK. He hurt his knee by going back first through a table. That's how WWE are explaining it. Seriously.
392 days of CM Punk as champ. Imagine if someone like Randy Orton held the belt for this long? Christ. I'd have to shoot myself. My name is Randy Orton. I am the apex predator of the WWE. I am your WWE champion. That x 392 days. I wonder if Orton will return with a character. He's been dull since 2010.
TLC match. People were talking about this all week like it was gonna be the main event. Uhhh... Cena isn't in it guys.
Ambrose has a bullet proof vest on. He's selling chops to the chest from Ryback. Really?
at Rollins. Sets himself up on a ladder making Ryback look like an idiot as he was going over to place him there... then the moment Ryback turns around to grab Ambrose to throw him into Rollins... he moves
. Then notices what's going on and stands up again.
Poor Spannish Announcers. They get their table hijacked. I don't see Ricardo and Del Rio coming to help. Also, where are Kane and Bryan? I don't remember anything big happening to them that warrants their disappearance for like 5 minutes while Shield 3 on 1 Ryback.
Kane gets burried! Under a ton of really light stuff
. Not a literal ton. Cos even a ton of light stuff is a ton. Like that old stupid "joke" question people used to ask you as kids. What's heavier; a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? LOLOLOL fuck off twats.
Some pretty fucking SWEET spots through this match btw. And not the usual spot heavy shit for the hell of it. These 6 men are in a fucking FIGHT and a lot of the spots were more "random" that big elaborate spots. The barricade spot was just Reigns charging at Kane. The chokeslam through a chair was just a chair being in the right place. The curb stomp on the chair was Rollins taking advantage of the situation. The table spot with Ryback WAS elaberate, but in a good way. They've been doing it for weeks on TV, and it was the perfect way to eliminate Ryback from the match for a while. The table set up on the ropes was definitely the most elaborate and somewhat "done because it looks cool", and at least it actually looked cool. Double superplex was awesome.
Rollins table spot was stupid though.
FUCK YES. Shield get the win. Poor Bryan takes the pin, predicted that last week. At least it was a powerbomb from the ropes through a table, so he got pinned by something big.
Match was TREMENDOUS fun. Best TLC match I've seen in years. Without a doubt the best since the TLC PPV started. Made my top 10 MOTY list yesterday thinking nothing from TLC would break into it. This might be #10.
EVE. Had no idea there was a divas match on the show. Was probably announced and shit, but I don't care and... what the fuck? Naomi? Brodus' dancer? What? Oh ok, she won a divas battle royal on the pre-show. Still... Naomi? She was the best fucking choice? NAOMI? Eve is pretty awesome at least. Laughing and pointing and mocking Naomi's dancing. Eve can be pretty great with the character work. Was talking about her match with Layla where she won the title on WF yesterday. She was tremendous in that. King making a joke about being told to drop dead. A few weeks after he returns from nearly dying on live TV. Oh hey Eve won.
FUCK YES. SHEAMUS VS BIG SHOW TIME. If anyone can make the chairs stip work, its these two. Undertaker and Batista couldn't, but Batista kinda sucked and Undertaker was injured. And they did that utterly retarded bullshit finish that could have made a ***** match go to **.
Match was great... right up until the finish. Chairs matches continue to end in shitty ways. That giant chair was fucking stupid. I burst out laughing when I saw it. Absolutely retarded shit. Up until then this was great. Typical awesome brawling from them both. Thought the White Noise through the tables might have ended up, but glad it didn't because it would have been a flat finish. Looking bad I wish it did end that way. Kick into the WMD was well done once again. That should have ended it. Not that fucking John Cena cheesy style finish.
. Am I her only fan left around these parts?
Kinda hope AJ turns heel on Cena and joins Ziggler. Make her like Lita was with Edge; Super slutty. Though she doesn't really have the tits to pull off the slutty outfits. Hmmm... scratch that then.
3MB Vs Jiz, Del Boring and their tag partner... please be Ricardo, please be Ricardo, please be Ricardo. Its... the Brooklyn Brawler. Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you the worst team in history of things.
Brawler makes Jinder tap out. Jinder was built up as something of a threat to RYBACK a couple of months ago. Now he's tapping out to the Brooklyn Brawler.
Main event time, and oh look, Cena's in it. Screw the WHC main eventing, we gotta have CENA. Then again, with that ending, the chairs match didn't deserve to main event. God I hope Cena doesn't win.
When Cena set up the table, I was expecting some boring generic table spot. Then Ziggler locked in the sleeper, Cena tried to climb the ladder anyway and then ended up falling though the table. That was AWESOME. Oh man, if Cena had landed that FU with the ladder I would have marked the motherfuck out. Kinda stupid that he did it right after passing out from the sleeper, falling off a lader and going through a table, but hey, it was too awesome to really complain about
The hurricanrana from Cena to Ziggler through a table was... terrible. And it was Ziggler that make it look bad. Cena actually executed it really well. Did better than Sin Cara's flying head scissors attempt in the opener
. I hate the table in the corner spot anyway. I think Show got driven through a table on the corner on Raw last week (right?), and wow did it look bad. Show sold it like he was knocked the fuck out and it just looked retarded as fuck. The spot looks about as painful as a basic slam, yet because its a table spot people have to sell it like death. Falling through tables, being slammed through tables and shit normally is fine by me, but the corner one just looks horrible and megafake.
. LOL at her doing Cena's moves. Didn't think they could be executed any worse
. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! SHE FUCKING TURNED ON CENA! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! WANTED IT TO HAPPEN, DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD, BUT IT FUCKING DID. AND IT WAS AWESOME. She didn't join Ziggler, but she turned on Cena
. Dolph wins! Dolph wins! Dolph wins!
So... Cena Vs AJ at the RR now?
Match was ok. Some fun stuff early on, but the longer it went on the more it was just there tbh. Fun and very little more. AJ TURNED ON CENA
So with Dolph retaining the MITB briefcase... does this make him the longest holder of it since EDGE the first time around? Bryan cashed in at the TLC PPV last year and that was the longest at the time since Edge, right? Honestly think he should keep it until after WM.
Overall, I had fun with this show. Opener was fun, not particularly GOOD, but fun. They got the shitty IC and US title defences out of the way, leading into the AWESOME TLC match, good Show/Sheamus match (aside from the finish) and the fun main event. I'll ignore the 3MB tag. Eve looked hot in her match so that was awesome. AJ TURNED ON CENA