General health: Good. No major problems or past conditions.
Past drug use:
Daily pot smoker. Use tobacco in spliffs with hash/marijuana. Now occasional, formerly heavy, drinker. Experienced, and with a generally hard head for, psychedelics including: mushrooms (dosages up to 8 grams dry), LSD, 2c-c, 2c-e, DPT, 4-ho-met. Have tried in the past, but do not regularly use: cocaine, amphetamine, prescription pills (benzos and opiates), MDMA, MDPV, bk-MDMA, bk-MBDB, Salvia, LSA (HBWR).
Given the fact that I am still alive today, I feel it my responsibility to report on the hell that has been the past few days. It is my hope that my firsthand experience with this malevolent substance can add to the canon of evidence regarding these incidents, and, hopefully, help our community determine what went wrong.
Everything I am writing is based upon my best recollection, which is severely altered, so please bear with me.
As (hopefully) all know by now; something terribly, horribly toxic was packaged by Haupt-RC, sold as 2c-b-fly, and distributed to an unknown quantity of purchasers around the world in the last two weeks.
I, unfortunately, was one of the people who received a nice little letter from Denmark containing the faux 2c-b-fly (letís call it Chem X).
I placed my order on September 28th. I received an email from Mr. Haupt on October 1st stating that my order would be mailed that same day. On Wednesday, October 7th; I received the envelope in Barcelona, Spain. It went directly into the drawer of my desk and was not touched until Saturday, October 10th. On this day, at approximately 1:45 pm I broke out the Chem X and some other recent purchases (the comparatively benign MDAI and JWH-073) in order to confirm their weight.
I weighed first the MDAI and JWH-073. I used a milligram scale with a small circular metal tray. After I weighed each substance, I poured the weighed material back into its original bag, tapping the rear of the tray as best I could to remove all residual powder. Of course, there is always a fine layer of material left behind.
Finally, I opened the bag of 1000 mg of Chem X and began to pour it into the tray. The first thing that struck me was the immense volume that such a weight occupied. In comparison with the previously weighed substances, each of whose 1000 mg easily fit in the scaleís tray, the ChemX was extremely fluffy. It was much fluffier than any other 2cs I have been in contact with as well. In addition, it was a fine powder, but with small clumps throughout the bag. I could only fit approx. 700 mg on the tray at once. So I weighed the bag in two goís. 700 mg the first time, and the remaining 300 mg the second time. The bag weighed perfectly. Mr. Haupt (God rest his soul) was an honest, if ill-prepared, chemical salesman.
I replaced as much of the Chem X as I could into its bag (the same one featured in this photo: http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/show...e0899_disp.jpg
). I then tapped the back of the tray to get as much as I could back in. Of course, there is always a fine layer of material left behind.
So, at 2:00 pm (+0:00), in a moment of heightened ignorance, I wiped all of the Chem X residue on to my finger (enough to turn the tip of my index finger white) and ďlippedĒ it. That is, to say, I wiped the material into the inside of my mouth opposite the lower lip. Additionally, I picked up a small clump of Chem X that had fallen on the table, and put it under my tongue. Though I really have no accurate manner of judging it, I believe I may have ingested anywhere from 1-5 mg of the substance. That is my best estimate. Though it may have been more, I really have no idea.
At (+1:15) my friend came over to my house. I told him I had lipped some of this material and I was feeling a bit weird. Not tripping, but feeling like I had a bunch of weird drugs working their way through my system. He noted that I ďlooked a bit fucked upĒ when he arrived. He suggested that it may be because I had combined residual amounts of MDAI, JWH-073 and ChemX. I agreed and thought nothing more of it.
At (+1:45) we smoked a king size spliff comprised of approx. 1/3 gram of Moroccan hash and 20 mg (weighed) of JWH-073 evenly distributed through the tobacco of one cigarette.
I noticed smoking the joint got me much higher than normal, and I am a daily marijuana user. I had also previously tested the JWH-073 without experiencing a similar reaction. The feeling was not so much the lazy, heavy stoned-ness of the Moroccan chocolate; nor the spacey-dopey high of the JWH-073; but rather I began losing my train of thought easily and it was rather difficult to speak.
At (+2:00) we finished smoking and went to the store to get some food, water and snacks. When I was in the grocery store I had no idea what I should be getting, even though it was Saturday and I needed to buy my food for that day and the following (stores are closed Sunday here). I ended up with an odd assortment of soft beverages and random snack foods. We walked back to my house and on the way I noticed it felt very ďoffĒ to be walking. There was a feeling in my feet that made every step feel unnatural. Once we made it back to my house at approx. (+2:30) the intensity was still approximately the same as it had been since we smoked. I couldnít say I was tripping, but I felt like there were some really weird drugs pulsing through my system. I prepared a pizza from a fresh crust; with olive oil, tomato, cheese, bacon, and goat cheese. I put it in the oven and my friend and I began watching a TV episode in the living room. While it was baking, I began noting my first hints of visuals looking at the walls of the living room and the abstract paintings that are hung there.
By (+3:00) I could barely cut the pizza, let alone eat it. The medallions of goat cheese appeared to be morphing white cesspools on a bed of brown flesh and bubbling blood. Somehow, I got myself to eat two or three pieces, it tasted good, though after I had done so my stomach began aching quite a bit. At approx. (+3:15) my friend went home to take a siesta and from here is when things get blurry. From this point, it is very difficult for me to describe or categorize the way I was feeling, but Iíll do my best.
I said ok and goodbye, but barely noticed when he left. We were supposed to meet with some friends at a bar at 11:00 that night. That didnít happen.
I put The Beatles ďRubber SoulĒ on my iTunes and laid down on the sofa. All I wanted to do was not move and keep my eyes closed. The music sounded pretty good and soon incredible psychedelic scenes were unfolding beneath my eyelids. Such intense CEVs Iíve never experienced before. During this time my mom called from my home country, and I didnít answer because I was too fucked up. That could have been my last chance to talk to here. Thank God, it wasnít. Kids, always answer your momís phone calls!
I continued feeling more and more lethargic and was in a state somewhere between sleep and consciousness when at about (+3:45) my roommate came into the living room and roused me. He began talking to me (in Spanish) and I could barely comprehend what he was saying, let alone start speaking to him.
I told him as best I could that last night was rough, that I wasnít feeling well, and I needed to rest. I must have looked crazy and horrible fucked up. I went into my room and laid down on my bed. The music was still playing, but it sounded really loud. I couldnít even bring myself to reach over and turn it down. For the next hour I was in a nearly catatonic state, unable and not wanting to move. Eyes closed the whole time. I couldnít- keep them open. However during this time effects kept getting worse. Not in a linear manner, but rather in what seemed an exponential manner. It was 23 degrees Celsius (74 Fahrenheit) outside, yet I was freezing. I was under all of the covers in my bed, yet I began sweating immensely. I couldnít tell if I was awake or sleeping. Conscious or unconscious. It seemed I was somewhere in between the two. This scared me a bit.
At approx. (+5:00) I began getting really worried, so I forced myself to sit up, decided to take a hot shower, to see if that would help. It didnít. I was still extremely flushed, cold, and perspiring what seemed like gallons of sweat. Mentally, I was a bit delirious. Not in a psychedelic conscious shifting way, but in an uncontrollable disoriented sort of way.
Then at approx. (+5:15) I logged online and searched google. I came upon Erowid and my heart dropped when I saw the photo of the same exact bag that was sitting on my desk. I became angry, agitated, and threw the bag and threw some stuff off my desk (a violent reaction like this is not in my character at all).
Then, at (+5:24) I posted the following on Bluelight:
'i may have accidentally ingested some of this about 5 1/2 hours ago?!?!?!?!? helpp!!!! what do I do???'
Thankfully, the board instantly made me realize the gravity of the situation. Especially Delsymfan, who stated there was about a 6 hour delay before things got really bad. He was 100% right. I threw on clothes and shoes as quickly as I could in my condition, put the bag of Chem X in my pocket, and began walking as fast as I could to the nearest subway station (about 700 metres).
During this walk I began feeling amazing pulses of energy coming through my brain, but not in a good way. It felt like there was a fireworks show going off in my head. These weird surges would continue randomly until the following day. They were very disturbing and concern me that some major neurological damage may have been done. I must have looked like a lunatic, and I sure felt like one. I was completely out of it, walking through intersections with complete disregard for cross-traffic. The weird feeling in my feet I mentioned earlier had intensified significantly and I found myself questioning if I could make it to the hospital on my own.
I was debating between calling an ambulance and taking the subway, but I finally reached the stop just as a train was arriving. In the metro I donít remember anything. Just dropping buckets of sweat everywhere. Effects were still getting stronger, and I was unsure if Iíd be able to walk under my own power into the hospital. Finally, 3 stops later, I arrived to the hospital and, after nearly being hit by a bus crossing the street, ran into the E.R. waiting room.
I cut everyone in line, ran to the check in desk and began spitting out my story in Spanish as best I could. The check in nurse pointed to a staircase and said to go down there ASAP. I took myself into the Triage area and explained again the story. The attending nurses were freaking out over the whole thing. I wrote down on a piece of paper the name of Haupt, his website, Erowid, the name of the supposed chem., and Bluelight. I told them I had eaten contaminated 2c-b-fly and gave them the baggy.
I was admitted at (+5:54). They put me in a wheelchair and rushed me to the E.R. I could barely stand as I had to take off my clothes. They were so wet it felt like I had gone swimming in them.
They put me in a gown and went to work. They connected 14 or more EKG probes all over my body and kept me hooked up to that to monitor my heartís functioning. They also brought some special type of cardiac monitoring machine (no idea the name) and hooked me up to it. They drew blood for analysis and at about (+6:30) gave me 2 diazepam (I think 10 mg each). The doctor told me all he could do was give me the diazepam, keep the monitors attached, and standby in case they needed to intervene. The rest was on my body to fight through. I have to say, there was a good period there when I didnít feel like I was going to make it.
Finally, the diazepam began to ease my extreme tachychardia and lower the blood pressure. However there was some worry as my Diastolic BP began dropping below 60 as my Systolic stayed high. Donít know what it means, but the docs were a bit worried. Thank God it passed.
Now, Diazepam is known for killing trips, but it merely dulled this one. The visuals and deliria persisted through the dosage of Valium, though it did sedate me a bit. I must say though, I truly believed the Diazepam, given to me when it was, helped prevent me from suffering major cardiovascular issues, as I had troubling levels of tachycardia and blood pressure (exact numbers, I donít know). In fact, I believe it may be a major reason why I am still here today to write this report.
Now for the next few hours I donít remember much. Just the screams and unpleasant noises from the E.R. seemed amplified in volume and magnified in the way they disturbed me. The open eyed visuals continued distorting objects for hours. I thought a lot about how this would be such a horrible way to go.
Especially for my family and friends. What would it do to them for me to leave them like that? Over something so stupid, preventable and -- especially -- without telling them goodbye and that I loved them. I was determined to walk out of that hospital. Iím not a religious man, but by God, I prayed my ass off that night.
Finally, at approx. (+14:30) the doctor told me he was discharging me. I told him I didnít think I was ready to go. But he told me that if Iíd made it this far I would be ok. Unsure, thinking of how Haupt died so far into his trip after sleeping, I reluctantly agreed and began to get ready to go home. I still felt awful, like I should be dead. I still could barely walk, and I was still mentally out of it. Somehow, though I made it home and posted an update on BL.
The hallucinations had mostly gone. But the psychological and physical effects maintained their toxic presence in my system. My posting from (+15:34) accurately reflects how I was feeling:
ďI don't know if high is the right way to put it...not right would be more accurate. Like, I'm not tripping, but I definitely still feel like I have poison inside of me.
I didn't want to leave the hospital but they made me...Ē
At that point I still felt unsure I was going to be ok. I was still afraid to sleep because of what Iíd read about Hauptís passing, but finally at (+16:00), I turned off the laptop and tried to get some sleep.
I got a horrible nightís sleep. Maybe 4 Ĺ or 5 hours, of oft interrupted slumber. Probably never got more than 30 minutes consecutive of sleep. Finally at about (+21:00) I woke up and lay in bed, feeling like I should be dead. Both my head and body felt absolutely awful, like I had been poisoned and that poison was still inside of me. At about (+21:30), still laying in bed and not feeling any better I was at a loss for what to do. A little while later I called my friend VidaVerde, and she told me to come over to her place right away. Since then I have been under her watchful eye; and she has been the most amazing, wonderful friend and nurse anyone could ask for. At (+24:00) she gave me 1 mg clonazepam and that really helped me.
The rest of the day I spent feeling ďnot-rightĒ. I donít know how to explain it. It really is impossible to describe. I didnít feel like myself. I could still feel the Chem X just marinating in my system doing bad things. I didnít move from her couch nearly the whole day and the time just passed by without me noticing. I felt horrible, physically. I felt like I shouldnít be here. At (+34:00) I took another 1 mg clonazepam and proceeded to fall asleep on VidaVerdeís sofa. I was out within 3 minutes and didnít wake up for almost 11 hours.
When I woke up at approx. (+45:00) I felt refreshed physically, but my brain still felt odd. Now, at nearly (+50:00), though physically feeling stronger, I still donít feel right.
Iím sorry I canít be more specific. There is just no way for me to verbalize the way my head feels. Physically Iím still lethargic and without any motivation to do anything. It has taken me several hours to write this report.
I have no appetite. VidaVerdeís been giving me little bits of food, and Iíve been eating it, but I have no physical nor mental urge to do so. I have been drinking a saline and electrolyte solution that has been helping a lot to replenish the salts and minerals I lost through the flushing and sweating. Now, (+50:00), I still donít feel normal. I hope I do soon.
Right now I am thankful that Iím alive and able to be here writing this report. Thanks to everyone at Bluelight for their advice, concern, and support. I am thankful for the hospital employees for trying to help me, and I am especially thankful for VidaVerdeís companionship and support throughout this ordeal. The recovery would have been inmeasurably worse if Iíd had to suffer through it alone. Thanks to everyone, and I hope that this report may contribute in some way to understanding what exactly was in that batch of 2c-b-fly.
October 12th, 2009.