Re: Rate & Mini-Summarize the Last Movie You Saw
The Evil Dead Trilogy
The Evil Dead (1 of 3) - * 1/4 / *****
Let me first start off by summarizing the beginning: it made no sense. There were five people in a car and they were driving out to the forest so they could spend the weekend (I assume) at a cabin.
On the way to the cabin, they come across several dangers: a possible car accident, a possible bridge collapse and basically that was it. When they arrived to the cabin, the driver approached the cabin and the others cautiously stood back.
For some reason, they were DEADLY afraid of the place they were going to be sleeping that night. It was day time, too, so they were scared for a reason we don't know. When the door is opened, they go back to laughter and throw their baggage around.
Later that night, the only single girl became scared in her bedroom and wandered out into the forest because she sensed that there was danger out there. Bright girl, she was! When she went about a mile into the forest, the trees basically captured her, stripped her of clothing and raped her. Hilarious, really.
So she ran back, all scared, and they were saying she was crazy. She begged to go back home, and when the driver dude was taking her back, the bridge they traveled across was destroyed completely. She cries, they go back and she becomes possessed. She's locked in the cellar and she makes weird sounds for the rest of the movie.
The movie is hard to follow after this, you seem to think that this guy or that guy dies but they come to life again after being possessed. There were several actors playing one guy's role because in several scenes, he had short, trimmed hair and in another he had medium length, wet and messy hair.
Basically everybody in this movie became possessed and got killed by an axe, the only survivor was the dude who drove the car. After being covered in blood a hundred times by his best of friends, he seemed to shrug it off at the movie's end.
Crap movie, it was a shame that they made a second and third series after his travesty.
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (2 of 3) - ** 1/2 / *****
Not much better, but at least it was somewhat entertaining.
The main character of this movie was the guy who survived the last one. It seems that he wasn't too bothered by what happened the last time he came to this cabin, considering he's going back to the SAME PLACE that had his best friends killed, where he was almost possessed and where a bunch of strange things happened.
Apart from a bunch of nonsense that you couldn't follow, it was very easy to point out the flaws of this movie. The front and back door was knocked down and split in two like five times in the same night, even after being obliterated by the evil spirit or something that haunted the forest and cabin. Since he was running and ducking for cover most of the time, there's no possible way he could replace the door even if he tried.
The bridge that he travels across to the cabin seems to be destroyed again as it cuts to a scene where two hillbilly rednecks are, closing the broken bridge off. A car comes, they ask questions how to get to the cabin, and he says there ain't no way to get there. But there's an ol' trail, however. Girl in the other car says she'll walk it if he can take her baggage. It's a deal!
I don't know what else happens, the main character becomes possessed and then doesn't, but then does again a lot. After a lot of fighting and a lot of killing, then too much fake blood, he finds his hand turning against him. He stabs it to the floor, grabs a chain and cuts it off!
With his arm in a stub now, he has no hand. But throughout the movie, you can see knuckles in a bandage since his hand is claimed to be gone. Kind of like Barrett from Final Fantasy VII, he wields a weapon to his arm. Rather than a gun, it's a chainsaw!
I kind of lost track of what happened, but he is sent to another dimension of medieval times!
Falling from the sky, with his car, he lands on the ground. Soldiers surround him, are about to kill him, but a pterodactyl gargoyle is flying through the air. He grabs a shotgun and shoots it dead. The soldiers go apeshit and praise him, but he's upset over the attention and screams "NO!" to a close.
Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness (3 of 3) - *** 3/4 / *****
Much better movie, but still pretty bad plot.
At the ending of the other movie, he is a hero. But in this one? He's a prisoner! Forget what happened in the second sequel, he's now in shackles. While being walked into a kingdom, the townsfolk attack and berate the prisoners in shackles being led by horses. He's kicked, scratched, hit with rocks and punched by people for no apparent reason. It seems that he's been grouped and classed with another kingdom that's been captured.
Taken to a well, it's opened up and prisoners, one by one, are thrown in. When the first guy is thrown in, the people run away and moments later blood is blown out of the well. When the main character is thrown in, he's there for a good five minutes, fighting a zombie and being cheered on by the townsfolk. He's thrown a chainsaw. He dramatically jumps in the air with his FULL and COMPLETE HANDS and inserts his right hand in a hole, then turns it on, fighting the zombie.
He cuts it's arm off, it goes flying into the crowd and slaps a guy in the face. I don't know much about the fight as I was laughing, but he escapes a compressing spike-wall and he lashes his belt around a metal chain, escaping from the well. He impresses the townsfolk with his weapons and stuff. Not much else. He orders the captured kingdom to be let go, and they do on horses. They praise the main character and head out.
He wants to go back home, so he talks with some bearded guy and they tell him stuff. He goes to a graveyard, is supposed to speak three certain words to get the Book of the Dead. But when he arrives, there are three books. One is on a pedestal and there are two at its side. Instead of going for the one on top, he tries the two beside it and one sucks his face into a portal, distorts it and cheesy humor attempts follow. He tries the other book and it bites him.
When he sees one he needs and is about to open it, he doesn't because he has to say certain words or else something MIGHT go wrong! Think he would've said it before the other two books? If so, then maybe he wouldn't have been attacked or sucked in a hole like that. He tries to say the three required words, but mutters the last one since he forgets it. He takes the book, skeletons right their hands out of the graves and then before he leaves he has a good time with them by doing handshakes and hand gestures.
Giving the book to the old guy, he says "did you say the words?" and in reply he says "I might have". The town people get all mad and leave since now the Army of Darkness are coming to kill.
Before the big fight, the main character sits in a room fixing himself a metal glove with a SCREWDRIVER IN MEDIEVAL TIMES! Man, this series is awful with the anachronisms!
When the skeletons come, a bunch of fighting happens and they destroy them with gun powder. There's a lot of action, I got bored of this pretty quick but in the end the kingdom is defended when the prisoners from the kingdom at the start of the movie come to defend the one under attack, slaying the skeletons. They're cheered, both kingdoms unite as one and the main character is happy.
This movie has a lot of cheesy lines such as "you run jack and shit, and jack just left town!" and "gimme some sugar, baby!". Nevertheless, this was the only interesting one of the three and I'd watch it again. This one is more of a comedy than a horror in contrast with the past two.
I don't recommend this series to anybody. I wasted a whole night on these.