The start of your piece read like a newspaper article, with far too much irrelevant story telling involved. You don’t need to waste over one hundred words telling the judges what the Olympics are all about while also proposing many questions which later remained unanswered or left open to debate. You could have cut out that whole first paragraph and it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference to your chances of winning. It genuinely read like a fluff piece which was used to fill up space due to a lack of concepts and angles emanating from your mind. At least I hope that’s the case. If you have extra ideas in future debates then you should try to cut out pointless paragraphs like this. Again, why do so many debaters delay the clarification of what they’re arguing for while wasting so many precious words?
Had a ton of words to use if i wanted, opening paragraph was to set up what i believe to make a great achievement at the olympics. pretty simple to see that imho.
Your second paragraph was where your debate should have started, deliberating the potential candidates before defining which one’s achievements stood out the most. In the next paragraph you made several excellent arguments as to why Bolt’s achievements stood out the most. The only issue that I had with this paragraph was “Not only that but there is something about the 100m sprint that creates an atmosphere that is almost unrivalled by other events”, a throwaway statement about that event being the most popular, something which has nothing to do with Bolt’s personal achievements. Now, if you had elaborated on this and argued that Bolt’s fame was a great part of the reason why the 100 m sprint was so popular at the 2012 Olympics then you could have been onto something. If only you had an extra hundred words to spare…
Bolt's fame doesn't make the 100m popular. It is popular b/c its the 100m sprint you muppet
Bolt's popularity is due to the 100m sprint, not the other way around. Which is exactly what i said. Either say the popularity doesn't matter, or don't say something retarded like "Bolt made the 100m popular".
Crucially, that final sentence of your third paragraph signified a drastic decrease in quality within your debate. You don’t need to over-elaborate and make introductions explaining that you’re going to make counter points; your arguments should be strong enough to do that by themselves. Unfortunately, your arguments against Phelps were weak. In fact, you did more to strengthen his claim for “greatest achiever” by giving his long term and short term ground breaking achievements a glowing review. This was in great contrast to your points against him: “However I feel that his performance wasn’t at the same level as Bolt, and neither was the pressure on him”. Oh yeah, really mate? Care to elaborate a little? It is all well and good saying you believe in something, but you have to support these beliefs with arguments, reasoning and evidence.
Fair enough, i glossed over it a bit.
Likewise, “Unlike Phelps or Bolt’s accomplishments, Ennis’ won’t remain a part of Olympic folklore” fell flat for me for two specific reasons. (1) Have you got a time machine and can you see into the future? If so, please add a picture or video of your time travelling exploits as a reference in future debates. (2) “Jessica Ennis was the face of London 2012, she had the weight of an entire country on her shoulders competing in front of her countrymen” actually makes an argument that Ennis could go down in Olympic folklore due to her ability to overcome the odds in her home country, that is a Disney Elton John cheesy schmaltz style movie ending right there.
No, i just have imperical evidence. Look at Cathy Freeman. Won the gold here in the 400m in Australia, which is barely remembered. Likewise the swimming golds won here at the 2000 Olympics. Which is why i put the historical significance element. Not many people remember who won gold's, most will be forgotten decades after. You need to transgress the sport to be remembered. Ennis hasn't done that at all.
I’ll give you great credit for carefully dissecting Pretorius’ claim through facts and comparisons to Jacqueline Freney. On the other hand, you actually made a very strong argument for Freney as the rightful claimant to the title of “greatest achiever”; to try and dismiss her claim by stating she suffered from a lack of media coverage is a non-point because a great achievement is a great achievement regardless of coverage. “This lack of attention on the Paralympics is disappointing but it diminishes the pressure on her”, therefore wouldn’t the pressure be taken away from all of the Paralympians, thus making it a level playing field again? Not sure where you were going with that one. The potential of the “historical significance” of Freney’s achievements was also brought up. Now, putting aside the chance that you might be Dr Who, who’s to say that the Paralympics won’t be widely revered in fifty years’ time? After cutting the grisly fat from your arguments against Freney I was just left with one sentence rattling around my skull, “She had the most impressive performance out of everyone”.
greatest performance =/= greatest achievement. Paralympics suffers in comparison to the Olympics. Again, fairly self explanatory imo.
The final paragraph was essentially repetition concerning Bolt’s achievements. Now while I agree that his claim is strong, at this point I was still waiting for some powerful counter arguments to salvage the debate after you had ironically strengthened the claims of most of the competitors who you were supposed to be debating against, but none were to be had. This was an okay debate with some strong arguments for, but some very poor ones against. The debate also suffered from over-elaboration within introductions and paragraph links that didn’t require it while some of your arguments were all too brief and lacking conviction. A top quality debate is generally concise, factual, aggressive, engaging and convincing. This debate lacked most of these qualities except for when you argued for Bolt and against Pretorius.
which is what i was arguing for
So "a quality debate has qualities a, b and c, which you didn't have except when you argued your main points for the topic" hmmm, yeah. makes complete sense
agreed with Evo's point about the open ended question. Could literally pick anyone and say its a great achievement. Much prefer something where the answer is a black and white "yes or no" type of thing. Argue for or against 1 particular thing, not try to pick someone out of thousands of people.
Well done to Perfect Poster though. Will be back to get my belt back soon :kolo2