Good evening, ladies and gents. Welcome to the second installment of TOE TO TOE. I'm your host, TLK. This is a very special edition of our show, as we will be hearing the deepest and darkest secrets a bunch of bullshit from our three reigning Debate League champs!
SPCDRI GOES TOE TO TOE WITH TLK
First up, a man who needs no introduction (since I really know nothing about him). It's our Social Division champion, SPCDRI!
TLK: Welcome to TOE TO TOE, SPC. Can I call you SPC? Awesome. That brings me to my first question: What the fuck does your name mean?
TLK: Great. Glad we cleared that up.
TLK: First order of business = don't steal my catchphrases.
TLK: Yeah, you can steal Magic's, that's fine. Moving right into the important stuff. As the inaugural TDL Social Division Champion, please tell me what this accomplishment means to you.
SPC: I'm pleased to have been awarded it after a lot of tough competition.
TLK: ...man of few words, apparently. You had the night off at TDL IV. Does this brief hiatus better prepare you for your title defense at the upcoming TDL Supershow, or do you prefer to keep the pedal to the metal?
SPC: Look, I'd rather be at it and beating all comers. We all know that a debate about George Zimmerman without SPCDRI is like a day without sunshine.
TLK: Wish I knew who the fuck George Zimmerman was.
At TDL V, you will face the winner of TDL IV's #1 contendership clash between GothicBohemian and Makaveli. Is there one of these debaters you'd prefer to face?
SPC: No, either one is good...but not GOOD ENOUGH.
TLK: Oh, so you do have a personality.
Do you plan on reading their debates as a means of STUDYING THE OPPOSITION~!
SPC: Yes...I'm a student of the game!
TLK: Other than those of your potential opponents, are there any TDL IV debates you look forward to reading once the results are posted?
SPC: I think the sports debates are the best.
TLK: I see. And who, in your opinion, has been TDL's biggest standout thus far?
TLK: Are you bipoloar, by chance?
Which debater, in any division, has the brightest future?
SPC: Me. The unanimous victory campaign continues.
TLK: I'll take that as a yes.
Which Social Division debater poses the biggest threat to your title reign?
SPC: GothicBohemian. DAT PROFESSIONALISM.
TLK: We could very well see that at the next PPV. Finally, is there anyone, from any division, you'd like to have a 'dream match' with?
SPC: THE DARK ANDRE
TLK: The fuck did I tell you about stealing my catchphrases?!
Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have for your- What? We still have 15 more minutes? Um, well, this is awkward. I couldn't get WOOLCOCK to shut up, yet with SPC it's like pulling teeth to get an answer. Fuck it, I'll just give more time to the other two interviewees.
Thanks for your time, SPC, and good luck at TDL V.
*TLK brushes shoulders with Evolution during a commercial break backstage.*
Evolution: Fuck you.
TLK: Yeah, just for that, you're going on last.
TOE TO TOE WITH THE DARK ANDRE
Let's welcome our reigning, defending TDL Sports Division champion, THE DARK ANDRE, to the show!
TLK: Tough crowd.
TLK: Not that shit again.
TLK: FUCK. Let's get started, shall we?
You were in the main event of TDL IV against Rush, arguably your toughest opponent yet, with your Sports title on the line. How do you feel about your performance? Do you fear losing the title in your first defense?
ANDRE: I fear being shunned from the latest family "reunion". I fear having to sit through another interminable season of safe but shit Hughton style football. I fear my girlfriend finding out that I've been seeing Mozza's ma (she appreciates my performances) for the past three months. I fear gaining 100% awareness of the fact that I've spent free time private messaging these answers to you, leading to another 4am raw thread style "fuck, what have I done with my life" type moment. Losing internet competitions? Not so much, Gregory.
TLK: It's Gregrey, you cunt. I do admire your confidence, however. The true mark of a champion.
Well, should you be fortunate to get past Rush at TDL IV, you're (tentatively) slated to face the #1 contender in the Sports Division, Perfect Poster, at the TDL Supershow 'High Stakes.' Give me your thoughts on this potential clash, and if you fear fatigue may begin to set in as you become regarded as TDL's FIGHTING CHAMPION.
ANDRE: Haven't I beaten that guy already? Are they really paying you to ask these questions? Fuckern warz...
Who, if anyone, poses the biggest threat to your title reign?
ANDRE: Myself. I'm a lazy git. A can't be arsed attitude doesn't get you very far. Although that theory doesn't apply to AlexHumph, in his case he just swaps positions with Giroud when he can't take anymore.
What other matchups at TDL IV intrigue you most?
ANDRE: There are other matches? Just joking. CGS vs the English language could be quite intriguing.
TLK: Probably your only worthwhile response yet (always down for a Chain Gang Solider burial).
Who, other than yourself, has been TDL's biggest standout performer thus far?
ANDRE: Seabs. In all honesty I don't bother reading most of the other matches/judging cards. However, I do read Seabs' storylines, they're bloody well worth it too. I'd buy that guy a bag of magic stars. Not in a Wagg type of way though. Seabs is old enough to not make it sound creepy, right?
TLK: Well, Seabs hasn't had a match (yet), but he's fucking awesome so I'll give you that. However, I don't condone kissing up to judges (other than me) prior to results being posted.
If you could face anyone on the TDL roster, from any division, who would it be and why?
ANDRE: Myself. I'd be guaranteed to lose, but at the same time I would keep my title (if I still I have it, fuck you Rush if you've beaten me). I'm the greatest booker since Kevin Nash.
P.S: If I ever join the social league I want the topic of "Cody likes 15 year olds who look 18+, while Wagg likes 18 year olds who look 15, who's the bigger wrong'un?"
TLK: Have a feeling that'd end in a draw, as both of those kids are fuckin' pathetic. Well, ANDRE, it has been a...pleasure. Best of luck in your future title defenses (should you have any).
TOE TO TOE WITH THAT ASSHOLE EVOLUTION
*Out comes Evolution in a straight jacket.*
TLK: Great, that'll do. If there are still any viewers out there (thanks a lot, ANDRE), give an unkind welcome to the Wrestling Division champion, Evolution.
Evo: Jealous prick.
TLK: Watch your fuckin' language, asshole. This is a kid's show *camera pans to WAGG in the crowd getting excited.*
*WAGG escorted from building.*
TLK: Now then, where were we. Ah, yes. Evolution. Thanks for taking the time to grace us with your presence. *rolls eyes*
Evo: Of course I can take some time out from my busy schedule of being awesome to drop some truth bombs on you and the rest of the Debate League jobbers.
TLK: Right. *under breath* Can't wait to bury your ass.
Ahem. You are TDL's inaugural Wrestling Division Champion. What does this mean to you?
Evo: The title means a lot to me because it hasn't been disgraced with anybody else's grubby hands. I beat not one but two of arguably the best debates put forwards into the wrestling division so far to win the championship and also beat your protege MoveMent in the first round. I'm just starting to get warmed up too because I am ready to start trying now that I have something to defend. Look at the quality of my last debate and you'll see a calibre I expect from myself each week.
TLK: Can't deny that you've been impressive. Your days as champ are numbered, but impressive nonetheless.
Given the fact that you had the night off at TDL IV, what are you doing to prepare yourself for your first title defense at TDL's Supershow, 'High Stakes?'
Evo: I really am taking the night off. I don't tend to read others debates in my division (unless I'm debating them) when the cards get posted. If I get too wrapped up in how everyone else writes I tend to lose focus on my own style. With that being said I am eager to see who wins on this card in a couple of key matches and not having to compete means I can enjoy the show from the Skybox.
TLK: Fair enough, douchebag.
TLK: You heard me.
You will face the winner of WOOLCOCK and your protege, adrian_zombo. Who, if you had it your way, would you prefer to defend the title against?
Evo: I've already beaten Zombo once on a weak submission (by my own standards) and I want to redeem myself for the split decision so I'd probably say him so I can defeat him via BURIAL. I like Woolcock's posts in the WWE section though. Why not just make it a triple threat and I'll prove my worth against the two "best" the division has to offer?
TLK @ "best."
Who, if anyone, do you feel poses the biggest threat to your reign as Wrestling Division Champion?
Evo: Nobody. I'm literally untouchable. The only way I lose a match is if TLK gets jealous of my success and rigs an outcome somehow.
TLK: You do realize I'm sitting right in front of you, right?
Evo: Bring it, bitch.
TLK: Fuckin' asshole.
Are there any intriguing matchups (other than zombo/WOOLCOCK) at TDL IV that you look forward to reading?
Evo: I'm interested in TLK's return match so I can finally see what all this hype is about. Frankly I expect a good showing but will it be good enough to skip the queue of contenders and push himself straight into a title match? We'll have to wait and see...
TLK: Fairly sure I saw CGS packing his things in the TDL locker room earlier today. I'd say the hype was well deserved.
Who, so far, has been TDL's biggest standout performer?
Evo: Me obviously. I have been the biggest stand out performer. SPCDRI has a higher points total but I've had much more difficult opposition with a better division. Duhhh!
Is there any up-and-coming talent that the TDL roster should take seriously?
Evo: Zombo. A seriously good debater. Not on my level obviously but don't discount him because he doesn't have name value. I expect him to consistently "upset" more established posters. Except me of course.
TLK: I agree that zombo has taken the Wrestling Division by surprise.
If you could conjure up a dream match, who would you like to face and why?
Evo: Aside from the obvious TLK vs Evo match everyone wants to see I want to bury Desolation Row once and for all to prove FINALLY that I am the best poster OF ALL TIME! I've challenged him to a best 2 out of 3 debates match with a 1000 word limit to each debate but he's ducking me. Bring him in for a one-night-only event and I will PROVE to everyone that I am the best. I'M THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!!
I will put my Debate League career on the line if I have to.
TLK: Never say never in TDL. Anything can happen (although you won't have much of a career to wager once I embarrass you into exile).
Well, thanks for stopping by, Evo. As always, it was nothing short of painful. I'll be seeing you soon.
THAT'S A WRAP. TLK OUT
Last edited by The Lady Killer; 08-12-2013 at 05:12 PM.
This had me laughing enough to have my brother come over and ask what was so funny.
2015 GFX Poster of the Year
2014 Winner of Best Signature & 2014 GFX Poster of the Year
2013 Winner of Best Signature & 2013 GFX Poster of the Year
2012 Winner of Seabs' Heart & 2012 GFX Poster of the Year