Waiting for Moz to steal my points
Join Date: Jun 2007
Re: JIM'S GYM PRESENTS TDL DOJO #5.
This was pretty directionless. I wasn't really sure what you were actually arguing for and I don't think you were either. Like half of your debate is a quote from Kobe too which I'm not a fan of using someone else's words to make your own point. Where were the arguments about why the change in how the game is played is bad? What are the drawbacks of a less physical game? That's how you answer the topic tbh and you didn't do this. "I think that it would not be a bad idea" is a really poor way of stating your stance as well because it sounds like you have no confidence and emotion in your stance. So first and foremost I'd say make sure you have a clear direction where you want to take your debate and then think of arguments to show WHY this stance is the correct one compared to the opposing stance and then develop these arguments better with examples as supporting evidence for instance. Then try and clear out the spelling/grammar issues and make the tone of your communication more persuasive.
Ok at least this one has some passion to it. Like with TKOK though I don't think you had any actual reason for why more/less physicality is good/bad other than your own opinion. The breakdown of the word leeway was good. However, I thought your conspiracy theory stuff was useless. The whole point of conspiracy theories is that they can't be proved which is lousy in a debate where the point is to use PROOF to validate your argument. So you wasted a ton of time talking about something you couldn't argue with any validity. It's just a theory with no undeniable proof. Then your part that related back to the actual topic better was too short in comparison and lacked any persuasive reasoning outside of your opinion. So no more conspiracy theories as evidence ever again because it's not convincing or proof of anything and focus more on reasoning with actual evidence other than just stating your own opinion with nothing/little to back it up.
On the whole this was good. My only major gripe was how long it took you to state your stance. Everything before you state it feels aimless because I don't know what you're arguing for or where your debate is going. Once you state your stance and get into the bulk of your debate it gets good though. Really concise but effective way of making your points. Concise is good but if you've got the extra words then develop your points more. You may as well use the words and hope you produce something good with them then leave them and know you're not producing anything extra with them. Obviously don't just ramble aimlessly but if the words are there do your best to use them even if it's just developing an existing point. Really good stuff handling the potential counter-arguments that you identified. I liked the way you not only countered them but used them to enhance your own argument. Super supporting evidence too, especially for the children with transgender parents part. Really good on the whole minus the iffy start caused from not stating your stance earlier.