Waiting for Moz to steal my points
Join Date: Jun 2007
Re: JIM'S GYM PRESENTS TDL DOJO #2.
London buses and all that.
I liked your style of writing. Very easy to read. What you wrote never really answered the question though besides your conclusion funnily enough. It was a good read but a good read for a different question. Focus on what the actual question is asking and how relevant what you're writing is to the actual topic. If you do that then judging by your final paragraph and your writing style you should have something good.
Liked your intro. Concise and powerful writing style. I really liked how looked a little deeper into the question and looked at it from a TNA context as well as a WWE context. First paragraph is good but I was left thinking that the 200 fans show was probably an anomaly and they could tape a title change at a big house show, e.g. on the UK tour and use that to draw larger crowds to their other house shows. Your WWE argument I liked. Bit disappointed you didn't tackle the argument of how well house shows are drawing and do promotions need to do this to make people come to house shows more. Try and tackle the obvious counter arguments you think of if you were arguing yourself for the other side of the coin. This was impressive for a first debate though. Try and expand on your points a bit more and tackle leading counter arguments head on and decisively.
I liked how you gave your debate a coherent structure. Helps a lot when I'm reading a debate as a judge and I can easily see what you're arguing where. Pretty big own goal using ADR and Ryback as examples when they had heel managers. It weakened your own argument when really you didn't NEED to bring it up. If you're going to bring a counter to the reader's mind then make sure you can use it to improve your own argument. Disagree on your statement that Brock would be a midcarder without Heyman. Yeah he helped him but I thought you way overstated it here without any genuine reasoning. Brock was a main eventer without Heyman as well remember. Your last sentence of that paragraph I didn't get either. I think there's holes in your arguments but if you cut them out and make your arguments harder to counter then you have something good if you keep the structure of your debate similar.
I'll try and do some more at some point.