starting nitro's from the 3/1/2000 edition and will review as i go through
so far we have had on the 3/1/00 EDITION OF NITRO~!:
harris boys beat rotundo and buzzkill. this occurs when some censor group comes out to take away their asian aids whore. we dont really get to see the finish. just buzzkill being pinned. sullivan and rotundo are mad. but the harris boys are STRONG.
then we see sid beat up hart backstage. okay
we come back. hart is okay. HE'S OKAY. nwo beat up paramedics. okay
pg-13 are in the ring. they rap. white people
. but, little do they know, curt hennig told ddp he was needed in the ring. idk why, i know nothing about this. im totally starting fresh.
ddp goes out and berries pg-13. okay. diamond cutters all round. their actual opponents, nash/SCOTTY come out. they talk trash to the crowd, pose a bit, then they get serious. ELBOW DROP to white guy no1. then a pin, holding the tights to make sure. NASH WINS, NASH WINS. they spray paint their opponents. okay.
now the nwo is all out in the ring. bret is talking. uh oh. he calls sid a big stupid dummy. and he's going to pound his living skull in. jeff tries to wisely take the mic. bret is having NONE OF THAT. i'll edit this as i get further into the episode.
bret talks more smack. gives mic to jeff. talks about like 7 different matches, and is talking SMACK. SLAPPY NEW YEAR. who's chris benoit? i've ever heard of him. says he's all alone with sid. sounds sensual.
NASH then BERRIES wcw wanting more than 1 mic. nwo has a SEXY HEAD. BERRIES the new commissioner. and bill bush. okay nash less booze.
steiner doesnt want to retire again. he 'shut' a tear. you're a hero SCOTTY. WHITE TRASH drop too. BERRIES goldberg, then sid. this is such a terrible, terrible all round promo. no one cares, honestly. legit horrible. but hilarious.
COMMISSIONER IS AT THE BACK OF THE BUILDING
david flair/crowbar vs leroux/midnight. HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT. BLACK NICOLE BASS NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. scares lash too. no shock. flair holding the crowbar. crowbar the pipe. SOMETHING'S WRONG. they trade weapons. lash TAKES HIS CHANCE and attacks. yeah this sucks. stevie ray commentating. okay. and here comes the clusterfuck. midnight tagged in, stevie ray drags her out and punches her. UH OH. lash trying to fight off two. he's doing alright. BOOKER comes out. he's none too pleased with his BRUTHA. STEVIE SLAPJACKS HIS BRO. and now vito and johnny the bull are attacking lash. why? i dont know. now david and crowbar are wrestling each other. ref has been outside the whole time btw. and david flair thrown on top of lash leroux. well that's it. ANOTHER non clean finish. we're 0/3 tonight in that regard.
backstage. lash with disco. then vito and johnny attack lash AGAIN. this legit makes no sense.
LUGSTING comes out. this could be brilliant. it wont be. he's mocking sting. yeah this is shit. this is sad. and bad. BUT WE HAVE A MATCH
LUGSTING vs tank abbot. he's not useless. you're in for it now LUGSTING. LUGSTING TRYING TO RUN. throws a FOLDED UP CHAIR in tank's path. still slows him down. what the fuck? LUGSTING DOESNT WANT THIS. BUT THEN GIRL MACES TANK~! THIS IS SICK. and JERRY FLYNN comes out. some terrible shots from flynn that barely connect. knocks him down. leaves. well that was fucking awful. i was right~! LUGSTING tries to go back. BUT THERE'S A CROW. OH SHIT. OH FUCK. THE END FOR LUGSTING?
COMMISSIONER IS HERE. nwo are also. there's a surprise.
rob parker i think? come to make the COMMISSIONER announcement. BIGGER AND BETTER says tony. a small incidental shoot from rob. whoops. he's not happy. sending a BIG WARNING to the nwo. and here it comes.
TERRY FUNK. TERRY FUNK. BAH GAWD. BAH GAWD. HE'S HARDCORE. AND CRAZY. AND HARDCORE. HERE HE IS. has about 14 security guards. HARDCORE. no one in the crowd really cares. terry's talking. i'd rather he didn't. but he is. he;s slagging on the wwf. he likes real stuff. shame that doesn't happen in dubya see dubya terry. you fucking idiot. calls nwo fat hogs. you're not in the best shape terry. that's rude. now slagging on the writers. terry SHOOTING~! like fuck. declares he needs help. no shock. has an ENFORCER. IT'S ARN. ARN ANDERSON IS HERE. HOLY SHIT TERRY FUNK AND ARN. WHAT A REVEAL~! now arn talks. i dont care. it's the same as what terry said.
oh here comes the nwo. im so surprised. bret has the mic again. they don't learn. bret only has one bat for those playing at home. talking about being over the hill. lol come on bret. THREATS. terry dont care. he's not leaving. he's HARDCORE~! STIPULATIONS. no nwo at souled out. arn as ref. and makes jarrett vs sid TONIGHT. us title on the line. in a POWERBOMB MATCH. MY GOD. MY GOD. TERRRRY FUNK~! and saying that nash/SCOTTY are going to be screwed.
nash says he thought funk was dead. and threatening to kill him. that escalated quickly. and arn died of tc. bit full on here. nwo MAKE THE RULES. music plays. nash stealing from the DOC playbook with YOU'RE A DEADMAN. okay.
buff/kanyon vs norman smiley/asya. kanyon points out they're not in hollywood. says buff's movies suck. ooooooh. gives buff the champagne tho. nice guy. now greenville is hollywood according to buff. so many drugs. and kanyon now sucks. this is a great tag team. and smacks the bottle over kanyon's head. norman smiley comes out dresses as the hockey team mascott. SUPERB. GRUFF SMILEY. oh more buff women. alright wcw. norman is wrestling in the costume. brilliant. buff facing both of them.
<---- the entrance
<---- how he wrestled
kinda mini dance off. norman shoulder charges buff. MOCKS buff. buff aint happy. beats him up a bit. norman does some more stuff. tags roided trish stratus in. not sure what the point of this is. more stuff happens. BUFF cleaning house. asya low blow. norman goes to hit buff with the GRUFF HEAD. MISSES. OH NO! buff hits norman with the blockbuster. this one is OVER. now perry saturn/douglas/malenko attack. now here comes JIM DUGGAN. dressed like an 1800's prison convict. the fuck is happening? attacks all 3 with some of the worst punches ever. now he's being attacked. and here comes the filthy animals. lead by KONNAN. it was going okay. then they bring out like 10 guys after. alright.
nwo now looking for david flair. man he gets shafted a lot. arn trying to beat the nwo to finding him. daffney laughs. okay.
nash and SCOTTY coming out for their tag match. because this show is crying out for more nwo. facing the harris bros. this could be short. it most likely will be. SCOTTY on commentary. brilliant. nash gets hit, goes to get a bat. VARSITY CLUB are here. hit the harris bros with chairs. ref was distracted. scotty tagged in. pins him. another brilliant wcw match.
arn trying to reason with daffney. no dice. daffney is kidnapped. uh oh.
here comes BUFF. and kanyon not too far behind. but WHAT'S THIS!? BAM BAM attacking kanyon? suplex on the stage. and then throws him off the stage. crowd doesnt care for such a big spot. im just confused. so now we have buff vs flair/crowbar. flair has the crowbar, crowbar the pipe. 2/2 for those playing at home. and now vampiro has come out. and has randomly become buff's tag partner. no one knows why. oh well, it's a match. some stuff happens. vampiro superplex. arn and terry are trying to get flair out of the ring. vampiro MAD at arn. TERRY nails vampiro. now buff blockbusters vampiro. and leaving. david flair comes in and covers. they advance. im lost.
nwo coming out again. jeff with daffney. for some reason calling out david flair. you're facing him next scotty. you dont need to call him out. fantastic booking. david and crowbar looking for daffney. even though they were just shown with her. the fuck.
okay, now it's time to get serious. sid vs jeff. POWERBOMB MATCH. no more playing around. sid comes out in a neck brace. poor baby. sid with some KICKS. jarrett crossbodys sid for a 2 count. in a powerbomb match. nice one ref. CHOKESLAM to jeff. jeff SLIDE TACKLES the ref. went in two footed, studs up, not playing the ball. red card any day of the week. nonetheless, they continue. sid hits the powerbomb! ref doesnt see it. goes for it again. BRET WITH THE BAT. DQ~! HAVE THEY NO SHAME!? some attacks to the neck and back. spray paints the nwo on him. paramedics attacked again. just to make a point.
and here comes now nash/SCOTTY. more nwo. really put that nwo cock deep down the throat wcw. why not? flair/crowbar out now. RUS THE RING. and duly have the crap beaten out of them. the bell rang. no ref out there. scotty says flair sucks. says the 'other guy' sucks too. berried. all of greenville are WHITE TRASH. nash beating up both guys easily. eyepoke and low blow to crowbar. really beating the shit out of these guys. no ref. oh here comes a ref. IT'S ARN. ARN HITS NASH WITH THE CROWBAR. FLAIR PINS NASH.
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR PINS NASH
FLAIR AND CROWBAR NEW TAG CHAMPS. THEN FLAIR HITS ARN WITH THE CROWBAR. BAH GAWD BAH GAWD. SLOBBERKNOCKER. WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
nwo beating up the security. im so shocked. now steiner attacks funk. chokes him with the bat. funk fights back. world's most awkward low blow from steiner. arn being attacked by jeff/bret. jeff hits him with the DOUBLE BAT. arn being taken away. funk still fighting. not very well. arn being beaten up. nash gives terry the most awkward jacknife ever. arn thrown in the trunk of a car. funk and security DONE. now the nwo drive off with arn in the back and that's a wrap.
well, that was 1 and a half hours worth of nitro. what a clusterfuck. all the matches were DUDS. all with swerve/run in garbage. and nwo appeared about 8-9 different times. hilariously bad booking. i give this show *. purely due to norman smiley wrestling as a mascot.