SNRUBYASEEDUBYA REVIEW 10/1/2000 edition!
the revolution vs filthy animals vs flair/crowbar three way dance falls count anywhere for tag team titles. the last part of this doesn't get mentioned until about 2 minutes after of the revelution (malenko/saturn) and the filthy animals (konnan/kidman) going at it. so i have no idea what's happening until flair/crowbar show up. clever.
in a brilliant clusterfuck, all 3 teams go at it in the ring. crowbar botches a lot. saturn and malenko dominant. then malenko and saturn decide to leave the ring. beat up rey a bit. malenko takes him to the stage, saturn has gone through the crowd onto the balcony. saturn splashes rey through a table. for no fucking reason. saturn is injured. malenko checks on him. flair hits him with a pipe, covers saturn and retains the titles. this all happened in 4 minutes. in the opening match. clever.
*1/2 stars for this. some decent spots. but so much of a clusterfuck, and the ending is pure nonsensical rubbish. WCW~!
souled up hype + stevie ray interview hype. woo. thunder recap too (just like before every match)
it's scotty's birthday. he looks so happy. april hunter has massive tits. massive.
oh it's oklahoma. great. nice broom. what a piece of shit. making some sexism rant. uh okay this makes no sense. oh it's about madusa. this kinda really sucks. issuing an open challenge to any woman. disgusting human being to pretend to be jr.
now we have oklahoma vs asya. this should be
absolute shit. she pushes him, he hits her from behind, she gets back up, worst scoop slam in history. oklahoma hits her with the sauce bottle. medusa coming out (of course, we need more people). oklahoma attacks. broke the broom over her. lifts the belt.
DUD. easily. no explanation needed. and im sure the souled out match is a DUD.
terry funk and the nursing home crew come out. talks about nash and how he's dead and walking. not the most charismatic fella about. war happening too. terry talking about the OLD AGE OUTLAWS, they're gonna kick ass. arn gives away how he's going to beat up the nwo. living legend talking. no idea why he's so angry at the nwo. orndorrf hyping the power plant now. what talent. so here come the nwo. im shocked. scotty and his LADIES. nash talking trash. he's good at it. jarrett going for cheap heat. gonna stretch zybyzko's ass like it's never been stretched before. eek. chris benoit ref in this match he's made. idk what it is. hart vs nash happening too. oh no. yeah this dragged and because absolute trash.
ddp and buff recap. buff hitting on ddp's wife. bad move. penis jokes. the height of genius.
ddp and buff coming out. they need to act civil for 5 minutes otherwise they get fined 50k. top segment coming up.
this is like reality tv. 5 minute counter in the bottom left corner. they're doing it man to man. this should be awesome. trying to tempt each other to hit each other. more penis puns. and ddp hits him after the 5 mins. buff hits him with a baton. like a dr phil episode. with more violence.
jarrett vs george steele with benoit as ref in some kind of hardcore match. jarrett's gonna have 3 matches, benoit ref for all of them, all vs funk's friends. IT'S GEORGE STEELE. this will suck.
george throws weapons. jarrett not a fan. some chickenshit heel stuff. WEAPON SHOTS from george. jarrett leaving. george eats the turnbuckle. oao making jarret get back in the ring. JARRETT guitar shot to george. DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER. GEORGE STEELE COVER~! fast count, it's over.
DUD. no shock here. absolute nothing match. and there's 2 more of these.
steiner fucking more bitches. what a man.
stevie ray interview. whats goin on with stevie ray huh. man that's a massive gap in his teeth. basically he's jealous of booker. in a weird way. here comes booker with black roid woman. more dr phil segments. booker has a mic. gene puts his mic to booker. booker talking into 2 mics. what a segment. booker not fighting. stevie slaps him. oh boy. now he's gonna fight him at souled out. that was easy.
funk and the old gang come out. here comes TITO SANTANA. people don't care. im shocked. this is sad.
tito vs jeff jarrett. poor jeff. this looks so bad for him. jeff has cool music though. i really like it. living legend calls the nwo roid heads. might be onto something here.
jarrett shoves some gridiron player. fuck he's fat. orndorf goes nuts. match starts. it's a dungeon match. lose by pin, sub or going over the ropes onto the floor. nice dropkick tito.
tito stuffs up going over the top rope, and awkwardly flings himself over after a couple of tries. slowest sunset flip ever. jeff having to wrestle a guy struggling to move. poor bastard. terry gets benoit to pull jeff back. benoit punches him. stroke to tito (the move, not an actual stroke.) too bad for jeff fat black gridiron player is back. push into orndorf, PILEDRIVER. fast 3 count, TITO WINS
*1/2. im being nice. it was fun. and it was better than the other one. jarrett guaranteed to get absolutely fucked over by like 5 guys is a bit boring though.
tank abbott here. god he looks like a massive redneck. terrible on the mic. absolutely terrible. no charisma, stuttering, mistake. fucking mma, useless sport with only idiots. and idiot fans too
. calling some old guy out. sigh. guy hits him, abbott takes him down. hits a security guard. now he's been arrested. flynn comes down, kicks him while handcuffed. what a terrible segment.
benoit has been attacked backstage!
jarrett out again. did i say i really liked his music?
jarrett vs snuka in a cage match. jeff prematch promo. skipped it. sue me. snuka looks ordinary. to say the least. a 3rd jarrett carryjob coming up. jarrett all over him early. here comes benoit! jarrett stopping him from getting in the ring. gets in, starts beating on him. not it's jarrett vs benoit. jarrett LEAVES the cage (doesn't he win?) to get the guitar. zbyzko and orndorf out beating on jarrett. snuka hits the superfly splash. from the top of the fucking cage. AND BENOIT at the other side. SUPERFLY SPLASH. DIVING HEADBUTT. 3 count.
**. solid match, lame that jarrett once again got screwed massively, 2 cool spots at the end save the match. no one benoit is dead too.
scotty DRAINED from fucking all the bitches. champion.
nash comes out. oao have scotty tied to the lockers. funk washes his mouth out with soap. okay. bret comes out. if they don't fight bret loses the title and both suspended for a year. they got MONEY tho, but dont want to lose the belt. actual wrestling happening. nash dominant early. hart fights back. nash fights back. hart goes after the leg. does hart always wrestle in nike's? ref counts to 5 on hart. lets the match continue anyways. fuck rules, this is wcw BROTHER. this has actually been a good match. not tremendous, but a good, enjoyable, proper match. now im just waiting for the swerve. low blow to hart. again, no dq. RUCK FULES. hart with a low blow now. meh. nash doing some good selling of the left leg. nash getting a chair. this might actually be a no dq match. ARN comes and hits nash with a pipe. arn going after hart. SID comes out. KINDA boot to the steel chair over hart's face. THE CAGE IS COMING DOWN. CHOKESLAM TO BRET. POWERBOMB. sid pins bret. after never being in the match. and arn counts. after never being the ref. ugh. what a way to ruin a good match. funk comes out with the branding iron ablaze. HE BRANDS NASH. HE'S NUTS
***. i enjoyed this match. it was a good contest between nash and bret. then wcw decide to give it the good old swerve and have sid hit the ring and beat up bret. that's fine. but don't pin him. so sid ends up winning a match he was never in. but i'll give it the benefit of the doubt because the match was actually good.
overall: **. show started off crap. the longwinded promo between funk's crew and the nwo started off alright, but got absolutely terrible. 3 way dance tag match ended terribly, the ddp/buff segment wasn't that bad, jarrett's first two of 3 matches were absolutely terrible, 3rd was okay. main event was fun until the finish. i didn't mention the nwo backstage bits, there were like 5 of them littered throughout the show.