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-   -   Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide (http://www.wrestlingforum.com/classic-rants/503476-breaking-news-local-wrestling-fan-contemplates-suicide.html)

Crossface 04-30-2010 10:50 PM

Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
This is Crossface reporting from wrestlingforum.com. Mass shock and fear has spread throughout the internet as legions of wrestling fans stare in horror at the terrifying events unfolding on their computer monitors. Rumours are circling that adored wrestling historian Austin101 may be approaching his final moments. Multiple witnesses have revealed breathtaking footage with dramatic implications:

"Hello everybody, this is my final night on the forum. I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for reading and commenting on my reviews. Where I'm going doesen't matter but I'll miss you all."

One fan in particular has been inspired by this great man. We've followed his journey and he made one last plea:

"Austin101 don't do it...people here really care about you. Dude, the forum's future lies in your hands. Who will we turn to when we need to learn of Bret Hart's technical ingenuity? Who will we turn to when we need the greatest wrestling historian of our time to observe our flaws? Who will we TURN TO when we desire the inspirational, scholar written wrestling reviews of which your legacy has been founded upon? Such masterpieces must not be kept from us. Elegance, intelligence and a general flawlessness. Whenever we feel down, we always know we have at least one shoulder to cry on. Until now. We love you, we need you, we depend on you. Where there is tragedy there is still hope and through this hope we can overcome all obstacles that face us. Together, we can brave this cruel world and survive at least another day. For we are wrestling fans and we will stand the test of time.

Please, Brett, hold on for just a little longer. For us.

<3"


Riots are forming, babies are crying and Austin101's archiving is approaching a dramatically stagnant rate. We have one last chance to convince wrestling's finest connoisseur that his absence would be unbearable. If Austin101 has ever touched you (either figuratively or literally), then here is the place to share your story. A dark day could be approaching. Only through one united Internet Wrestling Community movement could we possibly stop the devastating consequences of such a tragedy.

We now head up to Mike for the weather forecast...

Triple Ho Ho Ho. 04-30-2010 10:52 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
I'm going to refrain from using a Xanax joke.

STUFF 04-30-2010 10:53 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
The beginning of the end here at wf

Leonard Cohen 04-30-2010 10:56 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
uh oh

Horselover Fat 04-30-2010 10:58 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
ASK HIM

XABI ALONSO'S WINNING CHRISTMAS SMILE 04-30-2010 10:58 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Certs (Post 8369406)
The beginning of the end here at wf

The dogs are in that enclosed pool area. Garage side door is open

Crossface 04-30-2010 11:05 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
When asked for information local village idiot Yeah1993 had this to say:

"What the hell is going on in here?"

Links have already been made between Yeah1993's mental retardation and Austin101's suicidal thoughts. Hard evidence is lacking at the moment, but stay tuned for further updates throughout the day.

Evo 04-30-2010 11:08 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
I've also heard an additional report that a talent by the name of "Nolo Nitro" may replace him.

Not sure about the legitimacy of this report, but will keep you posted.

Bailey Jay's Christmas Dildo 04-30-2010 11:12 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
LMFAO! Sorry,but suicide has never been more hilarious to me before tonight appreciate the good laugh Crossface. I'd like a link to the original post please,and suicide is for losers.

STUFF 04-30-2010 11:14 PM

Re: Breaking News: Local Wrestling Fan Contemplates Suicide
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor_J (Post 8369461)
LMFAO! Sorry,but suicide has never been more hilarious to me before tonight appreciate the good laugh Crossface. I'd like a link to the original post please,and suicide is for losers.

http://www.wrestlingforum.com/8369075-post5726.html

I think adding a picture or 2 would really drive this rant home, Crossface.


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