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-   -   "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it (http://www.wrestlingforum.com/classic-rants/329311-revenge-nitemare-hilarious-i-guarantee.html)

x mas 01-18-2006 03:38 PM

"Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it

- Hello I'm Merry X- Mas. I am a member from NO-DQ. I wrote a story, see if
you like it. Get your snacks, sit back, and jerk off during the
intermission. Because I guarantee this will be one HORNY movie. Take no
offence for this, because I just want some feedback on this movie/book. Here
are the reviews for my masterpiece.

*** "Rolling Stones calls it a one hit thriller"***

***" Best movie since Rug rat's in Paris"***
-New York Times

*** Book reading club calls it a best seller. 5 out of 5**

Here it go, yo:

It was a dark and stormy night, Grandma was making a fresh batch of
chocolate chip fudge cookies.. OOOPS wrong story

It was a dark and stormy night. I, Merry X-mas was leading my
Legion of Happiness:) . My crew were following me as we stormed towards
Nitemare's Fairy tale castle. My crew consisted of Pyro, Bubba T, Caged
Animal, Kurt angle Legend, and Assclown! My main man Bubba T was riding his
pimped out SUV, Caged Animal was on a flying magic carpet, Pyro was flying a
fire breathing dragon, and KAL is on a flying cock. And Assclown is riding
on the back of a Mexican. We finally arrived at the huge
wooden/bronze/iron/steel/fire/ice door. Cage steps up to the door, pulls out
his magic wand and shrieks- " OPEN SESAME".. It does not work. After
countless seconds, we gave up. Then KAL pushes Cage out of the way and says
"Step Aside". Next thing you know, there is a loud zip sound, and his pants
drop. "Wallllaaaaaa" KAL said. A humongous big, fat, white hairy cock
appeared. It toppled 7 feet long and smashed the wooden door, making
splinters fly everywhere, one splinter hit the Mexicans eye, making him fall
on Assclown and Squashing Assclown to death, making him K.I.A. (Killed in
Action). We go inside. We make our way inside. And then we see a door. We
knew that there was a death trap waiting for us. As we made our way to the
2nd door, sweat started dripping from our balls. We knew the trap awaited us
through the door, so our bravest went first, Pyro. Pyro pushes the door
forward, and then he yells "SAFFFFFEEEE". Out of the blue, a bucket of water
(mineral water) falls on Pyro. "Oh no, I'm melting!!!!!" says he. We step
over his mutilated body and move on. As we approached the 3rd door, we heard
a knock from it. "I'll get it " said Bubba T. On the other side of the door
was a Police officer. The officer said "Excuse me, Mr. Bubba T, you parked
illegally, so I'm giving you a ticket and towing your SUV". "Nooooo!!!!"..
yelled Bubba T, and with a girl like shriek Bubba T. ran out of the castle,
and was never to be heard from again. Then we approached a dark room, it was
very, very, very, very dark. But every ten seconds we heard a "WHOOSH"
sound. "Cage give me a light" said I. Cage pulled out his wand , pointed it
and chanted.. "Twinkle, twinkle little star, give me a light you
motherfuckin, bitch ass, cock licking FaGGOTT! Then his wand lights up and
we see a huge sharp razor like pendulum coming towards me. I could not move,
but thank god for KAL. He pushed me out of the way and saved me. The
pendulum swung at him and his chopped penis went flying over the air and ell
at my feet. I picked it up and said "Nooo, KAL your pride and joy, it meant
more to you than me". "I will avenge you KAL." I and Caged Animal then
stepped through another door, which lead to a long and un sturdy bridge,
which we had to cross. "Stop right there!!!!!"
Said a voice. It was Breakdown V1, Nitemare's personal bitch. He pulled out
a peach dildo and yelled "UNGUARD". Then Caged Animal stepped in front of
me, and yells "ABRAKADABRA!!!!", nothing happens..Then Caged Animal tries
again.. "BAM, BAM ALAKAZAM"..then he tries again... "SING ,SING,
SALABING!!!"...nothing happens. Then he throws his wand and yells "FUUUCCCK,
I wasted 7 years at Hogwarts for this", he throws his wand violently it
bounces back and goes in his eye. Then V1 cums at him with the dildo, and
smacks him across the face. Cage shrieks and falls and trips over the
bridge. I grab his hand in an attempt to pull him back up. He was falling
out of my grasp. Cage said- "X-mas, there is something I want you to tell my
mom.. Tell her. I'm GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! YEOW" *splash*.. He fell. I
could not save him "R.I.P. my gay buddy". I turn to V1 and look at him with
ice (I was supposed to say fire, but my attorney said no) in my eyes. "Its
time to d-d-d-d-uel!!!!" I draw my ultimate weapon, a tree branch. V1
quickly hits my branch and it snaps in two. "OH NOOO", I drop to my knees,
then a light bulb appeared over my enormous head. I reached into my back
pocket and pulled out the equalizer, KALS penis. "This is for you KAL". I
kissed it good luck and squeezed it firmly. It squirts a gooey, white
substance at v1. "Ohhh noo, I'm hideous", and then V1 trips on a stuffed
animal and falls over the bridge. Just as he fell his pants got hung up on
the rail giving him an atomic wedgie. I could not bear to see the rest. So I
ran up to Nitemare's lair. As I climbed up a horizontal ladder, I heard a
faint humming sound. He was in the shower, I heard the water dripping. I
heard him Humming the Macarena song. He was doing the Macarena. And then he
dropped his soap. "OOPPS", then Nitey bends over to pick it up, while
exposing a full moon. I sneaked up behind him and kissed KALS penis once
more and said "Don't fail on me". Without any hesitation I launched it
straight into Nitemares hairy ass. "Yeooouch", said NM " I'm Pregnant". The
he ran out naked towards his bed. I followed him but before I can open his
door, he comes up behind me, pushes me against the wall, holding a dagger
towards my throat. In a cold, menacing voice. He said "I am going to IP ban
you!!!" "NOOOOOOO!!!!" yelled I. Me gusta tengo donde vivos... Ooops,
switched it to Telemundo by accident. Anyways , Nitemare stabs me in the
appendix and then my back. **stab** **stab** "Uggghh. I'm hit". Then I fall
down on KALS penis, it goes in my mouth. Last thing I remember is the
feeling of Nightmares cock slivering up my anus. It was over for me, I was
dead, but let me continue the story anyways. A door burst open and Bubba T.
came in "Hey guys, I finally paid my parking ticket...WAAAAA." He sees NM
buttnaked sticking his 2mm up my anal warp hole. Bubba T. drops his skirt,
puts some lotion on his hands, and the rest my friends is history...


Merry X-mas
Breakdown V1
Caged animal
KAL and his penis
Bubba T

Screenwriter- William Shakespeare
Dialogue- Rick James
Penis Enhancer- Michael Jackson
Producer- Steve Urkel
Director- Arnold Swarzeneeger aka Terminator aka Governator aka poop

Special thx for the Macarena song by Spice Girls

Hey guys now there is a limited edition collectors edition DVD and VHS of
the movie Bambi
"But that's not important, there is a new limited collectors edition, 3
disc DVD setoff "Revenge of Nitemare", it includes:

-Deleted Scenes
- Audio commentary by George Washington
- Behind the scenes look at the cast and crew, and a theatrical trailer of
-IT'S A jam-packed DVD that you do not want to miss

To order call 1800-646- I am gay for life- but my mother thinks I am
straight- even though she saw me sucking a guys cock- on Tuesday of last
week- 5478. Rush delivery available

So how did you like the story? Plz don't close this thread bcuz I just want
some feedback, so watcha think, thumbs up or thumbs down?

Stainless 01-18-2006 03:39 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
You're a fucking idiot.

TeamX 01-18-2006 04:04 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it

Originally Posted by Stainless
You're a fucking idiot.

i agree

Stannis Baratheon. 01-18-2006 04:05 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
What the hell was that?

Cowie 01-18-2006 04:08 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
Not being picky but the lack of paragraphs makes it damn near impossible to read.

Role Model 01-18-2006 04:10 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
Way to much time on your hands.

Stainless 01-18-2006 04:11 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it

Originally Posted by Cowie
Not being picky but the lack of paragraphs makes it damn near impossible to read.

Think yourself lucky.

PlayaDirtyDog 01-18-2006 04:18 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
That sucked

BreakdownV1 01-18-2006 05:13 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
It's not that bad guys, I mean, this kid's suffering from A.D.D. he needs the attention. Let's all give it to him.


Bubba T 01-18-2006 06:06 PM

Re: "Revenge of Nitemare"....hilarious i guarantee it
That story is untrue. I would never let KAL ride my cock.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooshit!

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