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Old 08-13-2013, 02:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default WWE Summer School 2013

Hey you. Yeah you. What's the matter? Oh, let me guess. It's the summer and all your friends are outside playing while you have to go to school. Well that'll teach you to put some effort into your work next year. Don't feel bad though, you're not the only one who has to suffer this summer. The Superstars and Divas of the WWE, in their pursuit for success, have been neglecting their studies all year and as a result have to attend summer school. Principal McMahon has made it very clear that in order for the scheduled Superstars and Divas to compete this Sunday at Summerslam, they must pass this class. How will they fair on the last trip on the road to Summerslam?


____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________

It's 7:50 in the morning. At this time all the Superstars and Divas have taken their seats and are awaiting the stroke of eight for the day to begin. Among them are- CM Punk, John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Christian, Cody Rhodes, The Bella Twins, Kaitlyn and AJ Lee.. Ryback is now having his breakfast of mashed potatoes and steak. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are seaTED far at the back in the very last low. They do not look toT intrigued at thought of being here. Rumour has it that Dean Amborse was only one mark away from a passing grade. INJUSTICE!

Professor Sandow walks it at the exact stroke of eight (not one pecosecond more) with his nosed turned up, disgusted by the miscreants he sees before him. One quick glance at this class and it's not hard to tell that Professor Sandow has a lot on his plate. The very thought of teaching Ryback three syllable words has him mentally exhausted which, for the Intellectual Saviour of the Unwashed Masses, only occurs when he is up all night proving the work of Einstein and HerzBERG to be completely inaccurate and full of discrepancies. Upon Closer examination of his students, Professor Sandow is completely dumbfounded. He could have sworn JTG graduated in 2007.

Professor Sandow: Silence!

The class settles down and room is now more quiet than the hall was when Ted Dibiase Jr went up for the talent show earlier this year. Professor Sandow immediately puts out Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal for "giggling like a bunch of ignoramus hyenas". 3MB make their exit whilst giggling.

Professor Sandow exhales heavily before resting his new briefcase on his desk. It took Ryback a couple seconds to figure out, but he was extremely disappointed that it wasn't a giant chocolate bar. He explains that Alberto Del Rio will not be attending Summer School due to his beat down on Ricardo Rodriguez.

Professor Sandow takes out the materials that he needs to begins the day's lecture.

Professor Sandow: Today, we shall learn Pythagoras' Theorem.

Chris Jericho claims to have invented it. The entire class groans.

Professor Sandow: Silence!

AT 8:15, a mysterious figure appears in front the class room door.

Professor Sandow: Ah yes sir, it appears as if you have difficulties in observing the rate at which the Earth rotates on its axis. What is your name?

Mysterious figure: My name.... is Randy Orton

Professor Sandow: Well you, Mr. Orton, are late! Have a seat in the front, take your book out and observe the code of silence.

Several minutes later, Professor Sanodow puts a question on the board. A question which he made up from the top of his head. The students begin to attempt the question. After 2 minutes of trying, The Shield get up and throw their books to the floor. They begin to walk out.

Professor Sandow: Hey! Hey! Where are you going?
Dean Ambrose: This isn't right. I'm not supposed to be here. I just needed one mark.
Seth Rollins: We're about principal, Mr. Sandow.
Professor Sandow: That's Professor Sandow!


The Shield continue to make their way out.

Professor Sandow: Go on. Show these people why I, Professor Sandow, am your intellectual superior and saviour. Show them why you people need me. You all need me! You're all nothing but a bunch of quitters! Each and every last one of you!

Roman Reigns quickly turns around.

Professor Sandow: What do you have to say?
Roman Reigns: When I have something to say, I'll say it.


The Shield finally exit.

Professor Sandow: Would anyone else like to follow their lead?

Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton Rob Van Dam, Kaitlyn, Big E Langston, Curt Hawkins, Zack Ryder, Justin Gabriel, Titus O Neil, Darren Young, Fandango, R Truth Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Tensai, Curtis Axel, Epico, Primo, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, The Miz, Ryback, Wade Barrett, JTG and Hornswoggle all leave.

Professor Sandow: Thank you for wasting your time, not mine.

The remaining class members continue in their attempt to solve the question. John Cena is leaning over to try to see Daniel Bryan's paper.

Daniel Bryan: Umm, what are you doing? Are you copying my answer?
John Cena: Come on man, just let me see.
Daniel Bryan: No! I'm sick of it. You're always trying to copy me.
John Cena: How?
Daniel Bryan: Well, first of all, I was with AJ. Then when I broke up with her, you started dating her. I went with a Bella twin, and now you're with a bella twin.
John Cena: Btw, are you with Nicole or Brie?
Daniel Bryan: Duhhh, I'm with Brie. She is the hotter one.
John Cena: You're with Brie, I thought I was with Brie?
Daniel Bryan: No, you're with Nicole.
John Cena: Then why do I have this Valentine's Day card from Brie?
Daniel Bryan: What? You have a card from Brie? What? When did you get that? I'm gonna kick your...
John Cena: Relax man. I'm just messing with you.
Daniel Bryan: You know what Cena, you can be a jerk sometimes.
John Cena: I'm sorry man. This class is boring. Just wanting to have a little fun. So come one, let's both get the hell out of here. Let me see what you got.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: Yes.
Daniel Bryan: No.
John Cena: No.
Daniel Bryan: Yes.
John Cena: Well thanks man.
Daniel Bryan:


John Cena tries to take the Daniel Bryan's paper away from him. The two are fighting over it.

Daniel Bryan: I said no.
John Cena: you said yes.
Daniel Bryan: No!
John Cena: Yes!
Daniel Bryan: No!
John Cena: Yes!
Daniel Bryan: No!
John Cena: Yes!
Professor Sandow: SILENCE!


The entire class looks at Bryan and Cena. Professor Sandow appears to be stressed out.

Professor Sandow: What is the cause of such lack of display of decorum?
Daniel Bryan: John's trying to copy from me.
John Cena: nuh-huh.
Daniel Bryan: uh-uh.
John Cena: nuh-huh
Daniel Bryan: uh-uh
John Cena: No I wasn't.
Daniel bryan: Yes you were
Professor Sandow: PLEASE! PLEASE! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! Daniel would you like to step outside for a minute?
Daniel Bryan: Me? Why me?
Professor Sandow: Ok fine, John, would you like to step outside?
John Cena: What did I do wrong?
Professor Sandow: Ok, how about this. BOTH OF YOU, OUTSIDE!
Class: Ohhhhhh
Professor Sandow: SILENCE!


John Cena and Daniel Bryan get up and start leaving.

Daniel Bryan: This is all your fault.
John Cena: If you had just shown me your paper, none of this would happen. I hate you.
Daniel Bryan: I hate you more.


Bryan and Cena exit, not without Sandow giving advice to Bryan on beard grooming 101 of course.

Professor Sandow: You guys are sending me crazy. How long does it take to solve the length of a triangle?


____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Bryan heads toward the bathroom. He is, however, approached by Hall Monitor Brad Maddox.

Brad Maddox: And just where do you think you're going?
Daniel Bryan: To use the little men's room.
Brad Maddox: Not without your hall pass you aren't.
Daniel Bryan: HALL PASS? HALL PASS? HALL PASS?


Daniel Bryan puts Brad Maddox in the Yes Lock.

Brad Maddox: Ok, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Daniel Bryan makes his way toward the bathroom. He sees Dolph Ziggler making out with Kaitlyn outside the bathroom. The sound of a flushing toilet is heard. Big E Langston emerges from the washroom. He gives Ziggler a hard, long stare. He makes his way back to class. Daniel Bryan enters the washroom. He quickly comes out holding his nose and coughing.

Daniel Bryan: NO! NO! NO!

He opts to use the women's washroom. However, as he enters the sounds of screaming Divas is heard. They quickly push him out.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________

In the classroom, several students have given up.

Professor Sandow: Ah, I see. Wait until your Intellectual Savior is ready to give the answer. Well that, is never going to happen! So keep trying!

Big E Langston walks back into the class.

Professor Sandow: It appears as if someone has found a burning passion to learn. Very good. Welcome back to the class Mr. Langston. By the way, have you seen Mr. Cena and Mr. Bryan?

Big E Langston: Yeah, but I saw something ever better.

Professor Sandow: Hopefully, the answer to this simple question. [/i][/b]

Big E takes his seat. He passes a note over to AJ. AJ is furious after reading it.

Dolph Ziggler returns to class.

Professor Sandow: Mr. Ziggler. So very nice to you see re-join the class as well. You may find it comforting to know that since your departure, your fellow classmates are still nowhere close to completing this question.


Dolph Ziggler takes his seat. AJ looks at him, grudgingly.

John Cena and Daniel Bryan re-enter.

Professor Sandow: Listen well miscreants. In exactly half an hour, I will be putting the answer to this question up on the board. It is for your own benefit that you don't merely copy what you see"

Daniel Bryan (turning to Cena): You hear that?

Professor Sandow: Rather, you should actually follow along with me the very simple steps that are to be taken in order to solve this problem. Trust me, when I am done with this, you will all be asking yourselves the very same question that I ask myself about all of you. And that question is, why are you all such..."

AJ Lee: YOU LITTLE WITCH!

Professor Sandow: Fair attempt Ms. Lee but that is not the question.


Kaitlyn enters the room and AJ Lee takes her down.

Professor Sandow: OH DEAR GOD!

The entire classroom is in uproar.

Professor Sandow: STOP IT! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?

Daniel Bryan: See, that's what happens when you cheat.
John Cena: Ok, you are really pushing it now.

Cena and Bryan start fighting.

Professor Sandow: NO JOHN! BRYAN, NO! JUST STOP!

Daniel Bryan hits John Cena with a chair.

Professor Sandow: AHHHHHHHH

Professor Sandow is frantic.

Professor Sandow: SILENCE!

The chaos still resumes.

Professor Sandow:I SAID SILENCE! WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME? AJ STOP! KAITLYN, THAT IS NOT LADY LIKE. YOU MISCREANTS!!

A paranoid Professor Sandow tries to put the answer to the question on the board.

Professor Sandow: OK CLASS I HAVE THE ANSWER. HERE, HERE. HERE'S THE ANSWER. IT'S 25.3 CM.

No one is paying him any attention.

Professor Sandow: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE ANSWER? OH DEAR GOD.

He quickly drops his things.

Professor Sandow: KANE PUT THAT LIGHTER DOWN! LEAVE BRAY WYATT ALONE! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

Alberto Del Rio is seen sneaking through the window.

Professor Sandow: HEY. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SUSPENDED.


Del Rio attacks Christian and the two start to brawl.

Zeb Colter stands up.

ZEB COLTER: See this is what happens, when you Americans start fighting one another. You allow these illegal immigrants to sneak...

Everyone stops fighting.

ALL (to Colter): SHUT UP!

They resume fighting.

Professor Sandow: THIS ISN'T FAIR. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS. I AM BETTER THAN THIS. AS YOUR INTELLECTUAL SAVIOUR, I AM ORDERING YOU ALL TO STOP!

Suddenly, there's is a loud banging on the door.

Professor Sandow: Now what can this be?

The door comes down as it is kicked right off it's hinges by BROCK LESNAR.

Professor Sandow: AHHHHHHHHHH

Lesnar heads straight for CM Punk.

Professor Sandow: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HEY, HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU DON'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE. YOU DROPPED OUT IN 2004!

CM Punk stands on his desk and jumps straight into Lesnar. The two start brawling.

Professor Sandow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lesnar and Punk continue brawling all over the classroom until they both fall through a window.

Professor Sandow: THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!

A frantic, emotionally drained Professor Sandow sits at his desk with his hands on his head soaking everything he sees in front of him. The class is a wreck- desks are destroyed and scattered pieces of furniture are all over. Kaitlyn and AJ are on the floor pulling each other's hair out. Daniel Bryan has Cena in the Yes Lock. Punk and Lesnar are probably somewhere in the courtyard still going at it.

Suddenly, a smile comes across Professor's Sandow's face. He begins laughing hysterically. Surely, things can't get any worse than this.

A young, diligent Cody Rhodes looks up from his desk, pen in hand. He had spent the last 30 minutes working on the question.

Cody Rhodes: You made a mistake. the answer's 26.3
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Old 08-13-2013, 04:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

What did I just read....
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Old 08-13-2013, 04:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you for this!

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Old 08-13-2013, 04:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

Roman Reigns stole the whole thing with one line



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Old 08-13-2013, 05:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

That...was genius.
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Old 08-13-2013, 05:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

That was insanely entertaining. Thank you, sir.
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Old 08-13-2013, 05:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
Celebrating my first World title
 
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This is, from start to finish, incredible.

I was almost in tears at "Hey, you're supposed to be suspended."
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Old 08-13-2013, 06:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

That was absolutely tremendous man. I'd give you rep but I already gave it to you for another post so it won't let me. I'm big into creative writing myself and I have to say you have a talent man. This is VERY well written and absolutely hilarious. I would pay $20 to see the actual wrestlers act this out. Good job dude.
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Old 08-13-2013, 06:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013



Wow. Pure brilliance.
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Old 08-13-2013, 06:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: WWE Summer School 2013

good stuff
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