8-12-13, 10:12 EST - Daniel Bryan suffers serious injury working against The Great Khali on WWE Monday Night Raw in preparation for his WWE Championship match against John Cena. Daniel Bryan lands awkwardly on a flapjack, a move that Khali once accidentally killed a man with. Daniel Bryan is rushed to a hospital where he remains in a coma.
8-15-13, 17:37 EST - Daniel Bryan awakes from the coma having no memory of the match with The Great Khali, but with no discernible brain damage.
8-15-13, Sometime after 15:00 EST - Vince McMahon's private jet carrying himself and the majority of the writing team disappears from radar. It is presumed missing.
8-17-13, 12:00 EST - WWE officially cancels SummerSlam and all subsequent events indefinitely to focus all resources on the search and rescue of Vince McMahon and the WWE creative team.
8-30-13, 15:00 EST - After a two week search turns up no results, Vince McMahon and the other members of creative are declared legally dead although no bodies are recovered.
8-31-13, 0:00 EST - Linda McMahon acquires full control of Vincent K. McMahon's estate and assumes the role of interim Chairman and CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.
8-31-13, 0:31 EST - Worldwide pussy slayer Dave Batista texts Linda McMahon his condolences.
8-31-13, 0:38 EST - Linda McMahon replies inviting Big Dave Batista to the McMansion for the weekend.
9-1-13, 12:00 EST - Linda McMahon issues a companywide memo that business is to resume as of Monday, September 2, 2013, beginning with Raw live from Madison Square Garden.
9-1-13, 13:00 EST - Many fans clamor to message boards after word of the memo leaks. They feel that the WWE cannot exist without a Vince.
9-1-13, 20:00 EST - After spending some quality time with BIG DAVE, Linda checks WrestlingForum.com and laughs uproariously at everyone who thinks the show cannot go on without Vince.