Pro Wrestling Insider Report - April 7, 2014 - Raw
April 7, 2014
New Orleans Arena - Live
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler kick off Raw as they welcome a crowd of thousands on hand to watch Raw in the New Orleans Arena. In the booth, they recap all the big matches and camaraderie of Wrestlemania last night, including Undertaker capturing the WWE Championship, Randy Orton taking the World Heavyweight Championship, and John Cena defeating Triple H in the cage despite the interferences of Shawn Michaels. As they wonder what comes next for the WWE Universe, CM Punk's music hits and he comes to the ring with "Cult of Personality" to boos, as Lawler recaps his loss to Brock Lesnar last night in the opening match. Punk has a microphone. He says that he was distraught ever since Paul Heyman betrayed him last week. (Heyman was banned from ringside in the Mania match) Punk says that, unfortunately, he lost last night. His arm is taped up to sell the injury from the kimura lock. As Punk was carted away on a stretcher, he realized that Brock Lesnar wasn't worth his time, nor anybody's time. Brock Lesnar is barely human. Punk says this to heat as he motions to the crowd to quiet down. Punk says that all the fan's don't like him. He says they should be grateful to him, because by fighting Brock last night, even though he lost, he may have been able to quiet the beast for long enough to give the WWE some time before the evil creature comes back for more. Punk talks over Lesnar as evil to more boos for a little while as the crowd begins to chant for Lesnar. Punk tells them that Lesnar isn't here tonight as he and Paul Heyman are sitting at home being cowards. As soon as he says that, predictably, Lesnar's music hits and Lesnar comes running out to the ring as the crowd is a little subdued with their reaction after a long promo. Lesnar tries to land offense to Punk, but Punk is ready and hits a bulldog and does the sleeping motion. Then, he lifts up Lesnar for the GTS. The announcers go crazy, but Punk grabs a chair from beneath the ring to do more damage. He gives Lesnar three chair shots to the back and goes to the back while smiling maniacally at Lesnar laying down in the ring.
Back from commercial, Randy Orton is in the ring with a microphone and his new World Heavyweight Championship belt. Orton says that he won the title last night by destroying Jack Swagger and now it is time to destroy all other challengers. Orton hypes Swagger as the longest reigning champion of all time, but says that he will break that record. He says that CM Punk is the only wrestler ever to keep his title after a MITB cash-in, but he will turn both Dolph Ziggler and Wade Barrett back if they try to cash in on him. Tensai's music hits and he enters the ring as it is obvious that a match is about to start.
World Heavyweight Champion RANDY ORTON vs. TENSAI
The announcers mention how Jack Swagger can't be on Raw tonight because of injuries he sustained at Wrestlemania last night. They also announce once again Brand Extension III next week to define which wrestler may appear on which show Randy Orton and Tensai brawl, with Tensai obviously being put over. Randy Orton gains momentum quickly before getting a three count with an RKO for a standard squash match.
Winner: RANDY ORTON via pinfall at 6:07
Brodus Clay hits the ring and goes for the attack on Orton, but Orton hits an RKO. Orton brings Clay to the outside and shoves him into the crowd. Back in the ring, Tensai is in the corner as the crowd knows what is coming to boos. Orton measures Tensai for the Punt and hits it as the announcers note the atrocity of it all and they cut to commercial.
Backstage, the Miz is standing with a microphone, holding his WWE Tag Team Championship belt. He says that Dolph Ziggler is preparing for a match next, but he has some words for the WWE Universe. He says that he heard that next week is the third Brand Extension in WWE history, and a lot of people have been asking the Miz whether he wants to go to Raw or SmackDown. And the Miz's answer is that he doesn't care, because he and Dolph Ziggler will dominate anywhere. Suddenly, Dolph Ziggler opens the door to the room, dressed for wrestling, with his championship belt over his shoulder and a MITB briefcase in each hand. Ziggler asks for luck, and Miz tells him to go win his match. Ziggler is shown walking to the stage as Kofi Kingston's music hits.
KOFI KINGSTON vs. WWE Tag Team Champion DOLPH ZIGGLER
Kingston tries to capitalize early with high flying offense, but Ziggler shuts it all down. Dolph puts over his reputation as a brawler with lots of brutal offense. Kingston tries to get somewhere as the announcers throw it back to 2010, when Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler feuded over the Intercontinental Championship. Ziggler manages to hit the Fameasser on Kingston but can only get a two count. Kofi comes back with explosive, high-flying moves as the crowd starts to get behind him as Ziggler taunts to get heat. Kofi hits the Boom Drop, but Ziggler kicks out in time. All of a sudden, the Miz runs out and attacks Kingston, hitting the Skull Crushing Finale. The ref motions for the bell, and the result is announced as a DQ.
Winner: KOFI KINGSTON via DQ in at 8:14
Ziggler is fuming as the Miz tries to smile at him. They begin to argue, and Ziggler slaps the Miz. Miz begs for his forgiveness, but Ziggler hits a Zig Zag on him and leaves.
Kate Upton enters the ring (to confirm a continuing television appearance) and hypes her Wrestlemania moment last night. She says she is here to prove to the world that she is not a joke, and this starts with winning a wrestling match.
KATE UPTON vs. AKSANA
Since winning the Divas Championship last summer, Aksana's stock has dropped significantly. Kate dominates the match and hits a bulldog for the finish.
Winner: KATE UPTON via pinfall at 2:53
Layla comes out with the title and they celebrate Kate's victory.
After a commercial, Antonio Cesaro's music hits and he grabs a microphone. He announces himself as the greatest and longest-reigning United States Champion of all-time. He says his next challenger won't just be any man, but he will have to earn the accolade of competing for the unrivaled and prestigious United States Championship. So, Antonio Cesaro, with the permission of Raw GM Mick Foley, will commission an 8-man tournament, with the winner getting to face the longest-reigning United States Champion of all time, Antonio Cesaro.
The announcers note that Foley approved the eight-man tournament and put over Cesaro before John Cena's music hits for a pop to revive the crowd in the portion in the middle of the three hour Raw when it starts to die. Cena tells the crowd that he achieved the impossible last night and escaped the steel cage before that lying, stealing, cheating *expletive* Triple H. Cena says he won even though the so-called "icon" Shawn Michaels tried to get his ass involved and make the match unfair. Cena says that Triple H told him he was an overrated punk-ass sucky wrestler, but he proved that Hunter was wrong in the steel cage last night. Cena says that he beat two icons last night, and crowned himself among the Greatest of the Great. Cena is about to leave the ring when HBK's music hits and he enters the ring as Cena looks defensive. He's wearing street clothes, though, and has a mic in hand. Michaels said he could barely sleep last night after trying to screw over Cena (subtle Hart reference) and wants to apologize right here, right now. Cena shakes his hand and says that they may have had their differences, but he has the utmost respect for HBK. They move to exit the ring together as Hunter's music hits and he comes out, dressed to wrestle. Hunter hits a spinebuster on Cena and talks into the microphone, saying that HBK is the real reason he lost, and he can't believe that his best friend betrayed him. HBK is shaking his head, mouthing "No." Triple H looks angry, and sets HBK up at the Pedigree. He looks up at the lights and hits it center ring as the lights dim and Hunter mockingly does the crotch chop to a chorus of boos, then exits with both men down in the ring.
Zack Ryder is backstage walking out for a match when he sees Kate Upton. He starts to hit on her just like the old days with Eve. He compliments her eyes while obviously looking elsewhere, but she plays along and wishes him luck in his match.
ZACK RYDER vs. ROMAN REIGNS
Ryder and Reigns square up as Ryder tries to play off the crowd. They give a solid back and forth match, which devolves into an absolute brawl as Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose storm the ring.
NO CONTEST at 6:32
They all hit their finishers as the announcers as absolutely horrified. The night is heavy on heel heat so far.
When the show comes back from commercial, the glass breaks and the crowd is completely surprised and goes crazy for what has been a stacked Raw so far. Stone Cold comes to the ring with some good old fashioned beer and a microphone. He asks the crowd if they liked how Bret Hart screwed the Hulkster over last night. The crowd completely plays along with him, into the Austin promo. Austin says he didn't like it much either. He says that because of Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan couldn't appear tonight in the New Orleans Arena. Austin says that, nonetheless, he beat the Hulkster and established himself as the greatest ever to step in a WWE ring. The crowd agrees. Austin says that Hart and Hogan both experienced the wrath of Stone Cold Stunner. Now Austin wants the crowd to give him a "Hell yeah!" if they want Hart to come out here for another ass-whoopin'. They respond fervently, and Hart enters, ready to fight, coming right in the ring and landing offense. Austin pushes him back and says, "You deserve an ass-whoopin', Bret Hart. Plain and simple. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold says so!" The crowd goes wild as Austin gives Hart the Stunner and opens his beers on his head for the second night in a row. He says that Austin 3:16 says he just whooped his ass and gives the crowd the middle finger salute (blurred on television) on the way out as the announcers talk about one of the greatest performers in the history of the WWE sitting in the center of the ring, humiliated and covered in beer.
SHEAMUS w/ ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DANIEL BRYAN w/ RYBACK
Sheamus eyes Ryback on his way into the ring, and they have a tense moment as Del Rio joins the announcers on commentary for the match, and they note that four participants from last night's tag match are here tonight. Bryan gains the upper hand with technical mat wrestling early as the crowd chants "No!" Ryback paces on the outside, and the announcers mention that this time two years ago, Sheamus beat Bryan in 18 seconds at Wrestlemania for the World Heavyweight Championship. Bryan tries to lock in the cattle mutilation, but Sheamus begins to come back. After minutes of offense, Sheamus nails the Irish Curse backbreaker and prepares for the Brogue Kick. He hits it on Bryan's head and goes for the pin, but Ryback yells at the ref, distracting him. Sheamus scores the visual 4 count, but the ref misses it. When he finally turns back around, Bryan has the No! Lock on, and Sheamus has no choice but to tap.
Winner: DANIEL BRYAN via submission at 11:20
After the match, Ryback and Bryan assault Sheamus, and Del Rio comes to his aid. They can't compete with the size of Ryback, however, and the heels score the obvious victory.
The moment that the New Orleans Arena has been waiting for is finally here, as the segment begins with a Rocky-Taker video shown, culminating in last night's match. The Rock's music hits to thunderous applause from the fans. The Rock takes his entrance slow, and he is wearing street clothes. He says, "Finally! The Rock has come back to New Orleans... for the second night in a row!" The Rock looks solemn and says he has to be serious for a minute. Last night, he lost his WWE Championship to the Phenom in the Superdome. He says that there is a mystic aura surrounding matches with the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, and no matter what Rocky did, Taker would not stay down. The Rock says he just has to surrender. There's nothing he can do now. He wants to congratulate Undertaker on capturing the WWE Championship for the fifth time, and he has an important announcement to make. He needs to take a break. Rocky has been struggling ever since losing to Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series, and he just wasn't feeling it as the WWE Champion. The crowd is upset and begins chanting "One more match! One more match!" Rocky only smiles and says that he has to leave now. Suddenly, the lights go out and the Undertaker makes a slow entrance with the WWE Championship to a gigantic pop as the Rock is seemingly frozen in the ring. When Undertaker reaches the ring, he holds up the belt silently and stares at the Rock before... shaking his hand and pulling him in for an embrace. The Rock walks out, waving goodbye to all the fans with tears in his eyes to end the show.