Re: Extreme Championship Wrestling 2001 - Tales of a Jaded Old Man
Extreme TV Preview: The ECW World Title will be on the line at Hardcore Heaven when 'The Man Beast' Rhino must defend his gold against two former champions in Justin Credible and 'The Extreme Icon' Sandman, but tonight, Rhino will be forced to team up with Credible to take on Sandman and Tommy Dreamer in main event action! Dreamer, a face of ECW, is coming off of a huge week after throwing CW Anderson from the balcony last week, putting his rival out of action for the immediate future, and maybe for forever!? The ECW Tag Team Champions, Danny Doring and Roadkill, are also in action tonight as they team with Balls Mahoney to take on Simon Diamond, and their Hardcore Heaven opponents and title challengers, the Full Blooded Italians! And in other action tonight, the new-look Michael Whipwreck will combat 'Little' Spike Dudley! In ring action not enough tonight? Well hold onto yours hats, because ECW Owner Paul Heyman will be in the building tonight, and he will have words for the invading N.I.T.R.O contingent of Mike Awesome, Lance Storm, and 'Fat' Tony Schiavone. All this, plus Jerry Lynn and Rob Van Dam, on...
ECW on USA: Extreme TV
Hey, an opening! The ECW video package plays in sequence with "This is Extreme" to start off the broadcast. However, as soon as the the video and theme end, we get what would normally happen before the show opens, a man standing in the back, ready to cut a promo. The man standing in the back? None other than ECW Owner, Paul Heyman!
Paul Heyman: I'm gonna make this real quick because I promise you that there will be more from me to come tonight. Mike Awesome, Lance Storm... I'm sick of the petty little games. Show up and create a ruckus; I've accepted the terms of your engagement. I know all about playing dirty; we here at ECW are all about crossing the line of acceptance. So gentlemen, I know that the two of you are somewhere near the arena tonight, and I can bet that you're listening right now. Tonight, live, in front of the world, I'm gonna call you out. I want you both to meet me and face off in the ring, men... to man.
Heyman gives a devious smirk as the segment fades out and we cut to the Nest with Joey Styles calling the action. Styles talks about Hardcore Heaven being only nine days away, and that, as confirmed on the official ECW website, a three-way dance has been booked for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship between champion Rhino, the Sandman, and Justin Credible, for the PPV. Styles also says that tonight Rhino and Justin Credible will be forced to team up as they take on Sandman and Tommy Dreamer. With Dreamer mentioned, Styles recaps the incident last week when Dreamer threw CW Anderson off a balcony and through a bunch of tables, leaving the Extreme Enforcer left for dead. Styles says that Anderson will not be in the building tonight, and that as of now, there is no word on when he will return to ECW. The action then cuts to the ring, where the Full Blooded Italians, Simon Diamond, Johnny Swinger, and Dawn Marie are already in the ring. Diamond, who according to Styles, is supposed to be wrestling tonight, is in street clothes. "Soul Coughing" by Super Bon Bon then hits, bringing out the reigning ECW Tag Team Champions, 'Dastardly' Danny Doring and 'The Angry Amish Warrior' Roadkill, as well as their partner for tonight's six-man tag match, 'Big' Balls Mahoney. Mahoney has a steel chair in his hand as the team make an entrance, and on his chair is the name 'Simon Diamond' spray painted in white lettering. Styles quips that Mahoney has made Simon Diamond a marked man after Diamond's attempted antics with him over the last week, and he may get his tonight. As everyone gets in the ring, Simon Diamond addresses everyone.
Simon Diamond: Ladies and gentlemen of New York... Simon has a problem! You see, as much as I wanted to entertain everybody in attendance - and of course, the beautiful viewers watching at home - in tonight's six man tag match, I have suffered a... uh... ah... back injury. And unfortunately, I have had to pull out of this match. Now, fear not! I am not going to be leaving my partners, these fine New Yorkers, the Full Blooded Italians, without a partner, oh no! In my place will be, not only a promising young star, but my best friend... Johnny Swinger!
Johnny Swinger raises his arms confidently into the air, and for his troubles... gets whacked by a Balls Mahoney steel chair shot over the skull!
Balls Mahoney, Danny Doring, & Roadkill vs. Full Blooded Italians & Johnny Swinger (w/Dawn Marie, Sal E. Graziano, & Simon Diamond) [65%]
Swinger collapses after the chair shot, and Roadkill flattens both members of the FBI with a double clothesline, allowing the faces to control the match early on. Danny Doring scores a near fall with a Bareback on Tony Mamaluke, giving the challengers a preview of what might be in store at Hardcore Heaven. Both Roadkill and Mahoney get their fun as well, with Mahoney mounting Mamaluke in the corners and delivering ye olde ten punch count, the crowd chanting "Balls" with every strike. The tides turn though when Big Sal trips up Danny Doring as the cocky champion runs off the ropes, distracting the Dastardly One long enough to allow Mamaluke to connect with a spike DDT. The heel contingent isolate Doring afterwards, keeping the Tag Champ in their corner and wailing away at him. Doring, a resilient douche, fights back, however, and reverses a whip before sending Swinger up and over to the canvas with a high-angled hip toss. As Doring sets to go for the hot tag to Roadkill, however, Little Guido makes his presence felt, running into the ring and grabbing Doring by the back of the head and slamming him to the canvas. All it does is bring everyone into the ring, creating pandemonium.
Roadkill and Mahoney use their huge size to take on all three men, knocking everyone down with big right hands repeatedly. The big boys get the three heels reeling, and the crowd gets popping as Roadkill sends Guido and Mamaluke over the top rope with a double clothesline. Mahoney and Roadkill then whip Doring off the ropes before throwing him over the top rope, sending him crashing onto Big Sal, taking him down! As the faces taunt in the ring, with Mahoney preparing to measure Swinger for the Nutcracker Suite, Little Guido grabs the two ECW Tag Belts off the time keeper's table, and he and Mamaluke sprint up the aisle! Doring decks Graziano with a big right hook on the outside in anger, and he and Roadkill take off running from the ringside area after the FBI, looking to get back their belts. In the ring, Mahoney lifts Swinger up for the Nutcracker Suite to finish things off, but Simon Diamond slides into the ring, and he's holding Mahoney's chair! CRACK~! Chair to the back of Balls! Mahoney drops Swinger as he turns around to face Diamond, enraged. CRACK~! Steel chair to the skull! That staggers Balls, and Swinger rolls him up with a school boy, and Diamond dives on top as well! ONE! TWO! THREE! Simon Diamond faked an injury to avoid having to wrestle Mahoney, and he still was able to punk him out!
Johnny Swinger & the Full Blooded Italians def. Balls Mahoney, Danny Doring, & Roadkill
As "Simon Says" plays throughout the Hammerstein Ballroom, Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger quickly roll out of the ring, celebrating their victory over Mahoney. Dawn Marie joins them in the aisle, and the three are all smiles, especially Diamond, who keeps pointing to his brain with his finger while continuing to act like his back is injured, laughing all the while. Mahoney fumes in the ring, pulling at his hair before kicking the bottom rope in frustration. Judging by the look on his face, Mahoney will certainly be coming back for more.
Welcome to the Jungle [66%]
After a quick commercial break, Extreme TV returns to the USA Network with the theme of ECW, "This is Extreme" by Harry Slash and the Slashtones, playing throughout the ballroom, and ECW Owner and Executive Producer Paul Heyman standing in the ring, holding a microphone, a look of determination on his face.
Paul Heyman: Over the past month, I have had to sit back and watch in anger as two men, Mike Awesome and Lance Storm, have essentially invaded part of ECW's programming on the USA Network. There was nothing I could do; I was powerless to stop those two corporate sell-outs from finding a way to appear on ECW's show - to stop them from stealing time from the boys in the back who have stayed with this company and busted their asses to get the TV they deserve!
Already Heyman's getting fired up.
Paul Heyman: But then last week, I saw something...different. Last week, I saw the biggest, overrated piece of *shit* in the wrestling business today find a way to waddle his fat ass onto our show. And when I saw Tony Schiavone show up on Extreme TV and try to make himself look like a better commentator and play-by-play man than our very own Joey Styles, I couldn't help but laugh. From the very first moment Mike Awesome showed up on our pilot episode with USA, the whole point wasn't to simply "take over," I know that. Mike Awesome wanted to ridicule us. He wanted to embarrass ECW. But if fat Tony Schiavone is your ace in the hole, then boys, I am sadly disappointed in what you have to offer.
Paul Heyman: You see, I know Mike Awesome and Lance Storm very well. You all know the story. They became stars right here in ECW. They became known and made their mark... in Extreme Championship Wrestling. They then, however, left my company, chasing the all important green. Money, greed, and power are just a few of the things that they succumbed to, although Mike Awesome is the biggest sell-out of them all. When he left to go... down south - is that legal enough for you, Vince? - he tried to completely bury this company on national TV. He wanted to bring the ECW World Heavyweight Title with him, and live on TNT, he was going to throw our company's most prestigious belt in the garbage!
"Fuck You Awesome!"
Paul Heyman: I agree with each and every single one of you chanting that! If Mike Awesome were to die tonight, I wouldn't shed one effin' tear! It's apparent what my feelings are for the gentlemen who have tried to come into my company and cause a ruckus. So I think it is pretty obvious that over the past month, I have tried everything in my power to prevent Mike Awesome and Lance Storm from appearing on ECW TV... but yet, somehow, they have gotten through all the legal loopholes, they have slipped past all of the barriers I have worked so tirelessly to build up to try and prevent them from getting into the buildings that we have run our shows at. Gentlemen, you have done well to continue to find ways to get past my security, past the police, past all the boys in the back. Really, I commend you for it!
Wow, what a nice guy, that Paul E.
Paul Heyman: Every time you two have tried to take over Extreme TV, it's been unannounced, spur of the moment. We never knew when you would show up, you simply... have. But last week, last week was different. When you sent Fat Tony out to send a message, to tell me and everyone else incorporated with ECW that you're going to be "invading" Hardcore Heaven on pay per view, Sunday, May 13... you gave us fair warning what you intended to do. So now that you have informed me just what your plans are, I have had the time to think, process, and formulate a response. And that is why I am standing in this ring tonight, right here and now, conducting my little monologue. So, gentlemen, you want to hear my response? Well here it is!
After cheers from the crowd, Heyman issues his response.
Paul Heyman: If you want to "invade" ECW at Hardcore Heaven in nine days time, then I am not going to try and barricade the ECW Arena... I'm gonna do the exact opposite! I'm going to open up the doors to you on Sunday, May 13th! And not only am I going to allow your little N.I.T.R.O contingent through the doors, I'm gonna let you get in the ring!
While the ECW fans may hate Awesome and Storm, the prospect of them in the ring, presumably facing off against the best of ECW, has the fans salivating, and of course, cheering.
Paul Heyman: You see, it's going to be very simple: one of your guys... against one of mine!
HUGE pop from the fans.
Paul Heyman: And we'll see just who has the balls when there are no sneak attacks - no shady business! - but just a straight up, one-on-one, good ole' hardcore 'rasslin' match!
The crowd continues to go crazy for Heyman's challenge.
Paul Heyman: So Mike, Lance, I can guarantee that you are both in the building right now, planning your next ambush, so here's your chance to come out here and face me man... to men!
After a few moments of silence and craned necks as the crowd look saround for the N.I.T.R.O contingent, there is a small ruckus in a portion of the crowd as a bunch of yellow-polo wearing goons march towards the ring. Once the camera gets a better shot of the men, the man leading the charge, according to Joey Styles, is Doug Dillinger, former Head of Security for that legally censored company. Right behind him is neither Mike Awesome nor Lance Storm, but the fat, plump figure of Tony Schiavone, looking smug as can be in a grey suit. Schiavone, somehow - I still am unsure how he achieved this Olympic feat - climbs over the guard rail, and gets into the ring, while Dillinger and the security remain at ringside. Heyman, to his effort, doesn't look mad at all at Schiavone again being sent to do the bidding of the N.I.T.R.O group, and instead smirks like the evil genius that he is. With a grin on his face, it is Schiavone who breaks the silence.
Tony Schiavone: Hello Paul E. Been a while, hasn't it?
Heyman just continues to smirk.
Tony Schiavone: I'm sorry that I'm not the men you're looking for, but Awesome and Storm, those guys have better things to do than answer to Paul Heyman... like anything!
Heyman just laughs, taking it all in stride.
Tony Schiavone: I do have to admit though, it was music to my ears when you came to the realization that you can't stop this invasion from coming because we are here, Paul Heyman, and, as a little group I once used to talk about a lot used to say... we're taking over! And guess what, Paul? There is nothing you can do about it!
It's all laughs from Heyman.
Paul Heyman: I'm hearing a lot of talk, talk, talk from you and your little group, and to tell ya' the truth, I'm ready for the action! Allow me to inform you of something: you see, we here at ECW, we don't just talk the talk... we walk the walk too. So yes, Tony Schiavone, I am going to now welcome this invasion of Extreme Championship Wrestling, but understand that your little war you're trying to wage... it isn't going to last very long. Me, I have absolute faith in any and every wrestler on my roster to defeat either Mike Awesome or Lance Storm at Hardcore Heaven next Sunday, and when that happens, you and your little "N.I.T.R.O" contingent will be running all the way back to Georgia with your tail firmly tucked in between your legs!
Tony Schiavone: Ah, but Paul, that is where you are wrong. Not only will we defeat ECW in its very own house, in front of its very own fans, but it may not even be Mike Awesome or Lance Storm showing up at Hardcore Heaven. That's the beauty, Paul, or in your case, the beast; you have burned a lot of bridges throughout your time in the wrestling world. There are a lot of guys I know just itching to have a chance to show up in ECW and kick your ass! And, to make it even better for me and my boys, there's a whole lot of guys on the unemployment line right now, just waiting for a phone call from me, or Mike Awesome, or Lance Storm, and they'll be here... like that.
Schiavone snaps his fingers for effect.
Tony Schiavone: You have no idea what's going to happen at Hardcore Heaven. You have given us a golden opportunity to walk in your house, and humiliate you in front of your very own fans. We're going to take that opportunity, Paul, but that... that's nine days from now. I'm here tonight, not just to accept your challenge for Hardcore Heaven, but for what's to come next. There are two men who are here tonight that want to send a message to you and ECW before our little duel next Sunday. So at this time, Now Introducing... the Turner 'Rasslin' Organization!
Heyman stands in the ring looking confused, while Schiavone, grinning, exits the ring. After a few moments, two men jump the barricade from the same spot Schiavone came from earlier, and there's no guessing who those men are - Mike Awesome and Lance Storm. The two men enter the ring, with no microphone at the ready, and not looking like they want one either. The two men slowly circle their former boss, Mike Awesome looking like he is salivating at the chance of putting his hands on Paul Heyman. Heyman looks fearful for his life, but then after a moment, loses the facade and grins.
Paul Heyman: Boys, boys, boys... I know exactly why you two are out here right now. You want to hurt me, torture me, send a big message to all the boys in the back that you're here to take us all out. Well, if you really think the fat man with the Kool-Aid didn't hand some of it out to the boys in the back before I came out here, ya' got another thing coming! And that thing that's coming? It's here, right about... now!
And just like that, Heyman hits the canvas and rolls out of the ring while Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, ECW Tag Team Champions Danny Doring and Roadkill, and even Justin Credible all appear at ringside! Dreamer, Sandman (holding a Singapore Cane, of course), and the ECW Tag Team Champions all jump the barricade from the audience and enter the ring, while Credible, also brandishing his trusty weapon, sprints down the entrance aisle. Doug Dillinger and his crackpot security team try to stop the ECW wrestlers, but Sandman and Credible, and their trusty Singapore Canes, quickly mow through Dillinger and the rest of the security team. In the ring, it's a straight up brawl as Awesome and Storm try to hold off Tommy Dreamer, Danny Doring, and Roadkill, the two men clearly not expecting their plan to attack Paul Heyman resulting in a set-up to have them ambushed instead. Dreamer and Awesome trade wild haymakers, while Storm tries to battle the ECW Tag Team Champions, but Doring and Roadkill overcome with strength in numbers, while Tommy Dreamer eventually knocks Dreamer down with a big right hand!
Justin Credible and Sandman join in on the fun, although N.I.T.R.O fight back as Lance Storm decks Danny Doring with a Superkick out of nowhere, while Mike Awesome gets up and clocks Sandman with a stiff lariat. However, any attempt of a comeback from Awesome and Storm is crushed when out from the back sprints the reigning ECW World Champion, Rhino! Awesome and Storm brawl with the ECW icons as the Man Beast dives into the ring, making a beeline for Mike Awesome... GORE! GORE!!! GORE!!! Down goes the ECW traitor! Lance Storm succumbs to the beat down as well, and Doring and Roadkill end up holding Storm by the arms, giving Justin Credible free reign to drive his Singapore Cane right across the face of his former tag team partner! Storm drops to his knees before falling face first, and Awesome and Storm remain down on the canvas as the men of Extreme Championship Wrestling stand tall. Paul Heyman rejoins the fun in the ring, celebrating with Tommy Dreamer. There's an awkward moment between Rhino, Sandman, and Justin Credible, the three men all staring each other down and choosing not to fight each other at this moment, despite their pending match against each other at Hardcore Heaven, and their tag match with Tommy Dreamer tonight as well. Joey Styles takes the opportunity to put over just how important ECW is to everyone in the back, as they are willing to put aside their differences - only for time being - to defend their company against the invading forces of the N.I.T.R.O group. The men of ECW all celebrate in the ring over the fallen Awesome and Storm as the show cuts out to another break.
As Extreme TV on USA returns, it is to Spike Dudley and Michael Whipwreck already in the ring, about to face-off in the next match of the evening. So lets get right to it!
Michael Whipwreck vs. Spike Dudley [70%]
Mikey's new mean streak helps him get the advantage early on as despite a flurry of punches from Spike, Whipwreck scores with a cheap shot - a low kick that catches Dudley's groin - to allow him to work over Dudley in the corner. Mikey shows his tenacity as he stiffly kicks Dudley in the ribs and wails away on him. While Whipwreck keeps his offense to a lot of brawling, he shows his improved aerial ability when he whips Dudley into the ropes and connects with a swinging hurricanrana. Whipwreck covers, and gets a two count for his efforts. Dudley continues to take a butt whipping from Whipwreck, getting slammed with a power bomb. Whipwreck keeps a hold of Dudley and lifts him up for another 'bomb, but Dudley fires off rapid right hands to the skull of Whipwreck. It sends the two staggering into the ropes near the corner, and as Spike continues to punch Whipwreck, the two men take a tumble, falling over the top rope...sending both men crashing through the timekeeper's table! "ECW! ECW!"
After several moments of rest, both men slowly pull themselves up to their feet, and Whipwreck again connects with a cheap shot to Spike. Whipwreck looks to seize the opportunity created with an Irish whip, but Little Spike reverses, sending Whipwreck face first into the ring post! Spike then rolls Whipwreck into the ring, climbs to the top turnbuckle, and then flies as his opponent gets up to his feet - cross body block! Dudley then goes on the advantage, slamming Whipwreck down with a series of vertical and snap suplexes before grabbing Whipwreck by the face and running off the turnbuckles - ACID DROP... but Whipwreck shoves Dudley off of him, sending Spike crashing to the canvas! Dudley gets right back up to his feet, but receives a kick to the groin! WHIPPERSNAPPER!
Whipwreck gets ready to go for the cover, but as he does so, the Hammerstein Ballroom is filled with Harry Slash and the Slashtones' "T.I.W"! Whipwreck gets up to his feet in disbelief, and Joey Styles fills everyone in why - "Could it be!? That's the music of Yoshihiro Tajiri!" After several moments of Mikey looking around in panic, out from the back comes the Sinister Minister! He wields his cane before pointing it threatening at Whipwreck, who is shell shocked. Another figure dives into the ring behind the unknowing Whipwreck. After a tap on the shoulder, Whipwreck turns around, right into GREEN MIST! Whipwreck is blinded... by TAJIRI! Leaping roundhouse kick to Whipwreck, sending him right into Spike Dudley... ACID DROP! Tajiri cackles as Dudley covers and Jim Molineux counts: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Spike Dudley def. Michael Whipwreck
While Spike Dudley exits the ring right away and starts celebrating up the entrance aisle, truth be told, no one cares too much because this moment is all about Yoshihiro Tajiri and the man who sent him on a month-long exile from ECW, Michael Whipwreck. Having already one-upped his former partner, Tajiri, green mist residue all over his chin, exits the ring as well, and joins his manager, Sinister Minister, at the end of the entrance aisle at ringside. As Whipwreck comes to in the ring, he spots his ex-partner and manager, and continues to shake his head in disbelief. He yells out "No!" several times as well to compound to his shock, while Minister and Tajiri just stare him down, evil smirks on their faces.
Extreme TV then cuts to the back for some orange juice with pulp fiction!
Free TV Time! [77%]
First man up for the close-shot promo is the one and only 'Innovator of Violence' Tommy Dreamer.
Tommy Dreamer: After last week, this whole thing between me and CW Anderson, it's ova'! It seems ta' me like all people want to do is come at Tommy Dreamer left and right, try and get one up on the ole' timer, prove that they're "hardcore". Well CW, you ain't hardcore!
Whoa Dreamer, that's intense!
Tommy Dreamer: Guilty as Charged, I'll give ya' credit, you put on a good fight. But a long time has past since then, and even then, when the going got tough, when you started to get choked... you quit! You couldn't withstand the pain, the feeling of what it means ta' be hardcore, and you admitted defeat. And last week, you did the exact same thing. Ya' ran from me two weeks ago when your plan backfired against you, and last week was the same story. You got faced with a beat down of the most extreme style, and ya' ran... but it came back ta' bite ya in the ass.
Tommy Dreamer: You took one hell of a fall last week, and I don't know when you'll be back, or if you'll even have the balls ta' show your face in an ECW arena again after what I did to ya'. You ain't hardcore, Anderson, remember that! I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore!
Dreamer starts pounding his chest as he continues to yell that one sentence before the promo cuts to another one. This time, we're featured to two men just returning to Extreme Championship Wrestling, EZ Money and Kid Kash!
EZ Money: Last week was supposed to be one hell of a return for me and my new found friend, Kid Kash. We came back to ECW, shocked everyone, and right away, I showed my old running buddies up. Hot Commodity - Chris Hamrick and Julio Dinero - sorry, but EZ Money has moved on to bigger and better things! I was tired of being some rising up and comer because let's be honest, we were goin' nowhere fast!
Kid Kash: And Money, the same can be said for me too. Night after night, I would show up, bust my hump, and get nothin' for it! I had no one who cared enough ta' watch mah back, but those times are a changin'!
EZ Money: Together, me and Kash are going to go straight to the top! And as a team, we're gonna win the matches, we're gonna get the girls, we're gonna win some gold, and heh... we're gonna get that cash mo'nay!
EZ Money smirks, but Kash is still irritated.
Kid Kash: What pisses me off though, EZ, is that our success got delayed for another week because of Nova, and Low-Ky! I don't know who your little friend is Nova, but he got lucky last week when he pinned Money! You two ruined our return, and now, we're gonna ruin you!
Money and Kash smirk and pose as the camera cuts to another promo. Bring on Justin Credible!
Justin Credible: I know I was out there helpin' EC-Dubya out tonight, but Sandman and Rhino, don't think for a damn second that this changes anything! I got my match at Hardcore Heaven in nine days, and I will become the new ECW World Heavyweight Champion. I am the Lone Impact Player in this company, and there is gonna be no stoppin' me on my way to the title! Rhino and Sandman, you can come at me together as a team and I'll kick both your asses at once, or you can tear each other apart and I'll be there to pick up the pieces, it doesn't matter. One thing is for certain though: no matter what happens, I'm gonna pin Sandman's shoulders onto the mat - one, two, three - and then Rhino, I'm gonna put you down for the count - one, two, three - and I'll be left standin' tall... World Champion. Now that, haha ha, that's not just the coolest, it's certainly not just the best... it's Just-In-Credible.
Credible gives a devious smirks as the promo cuts away for the final promo. In a locker room is the reigning ECW World Champion, Rhino, and an angry-looking Rhino.
Cyrus: As your manager and your leader, Rhino, I want to know what in the hell I just saw out there! Why in the hell were you out there, standing side by side with the likes of Paul Heyman and Tommy Dreamer, trademark ECW FILTH... and your opponents too!? Sandman and Credible!? HELLOOO! Those are the troglodytes you're facing at Hardcore Heaven! Your challengers! The THREATS to our title!
Rhino, pacing around the room while Cyrus was speaking, storms right up to Cyrus, getting directly into his face. Despite looking furious and enraged, when Rhino speaks, it is nothing more than a whisper.
Rhino: There are more important things than gold and championships, Cyrus. I don't give a damn about Paul Heyman or ECW, but Mike Awesome... that's somethin' I care about. He kicked my ass on national TV last month, made me look like a chump! You think I'm gonna pass up on the chance to extract some revenge? Guess what, Cyrus? I'M GONNA! I'M GONNA GET MY REVENGE! HE HUMILIATED ME, CYRUS! HUMILIATED! WHOSE HUMILIATED NOW, HUH!? HUH, AWESOME!?
Cyrus takes a step back, either out of fear, or disgust from spit flying out of Rhino's mouth and onto his face. Rhino, having exploded, is back to a whisper.
Rhino: I stood by my opponents for a few seconds, but I'm gonna make up for that with hours of pain, and that starts tonight. By the time tonight's over, Sandman is gonna be lucky if he can even make it to Hardcore Heaven! I can multi-task, Cyrus. I'm not some dumb *fuckin'* animal for you to control. I'll take care of business; I'm gonna stay ECW World Champion. But Mike Awesome... that's personal, that's intimate. And if I can get another chance to take him out, hurt him, embarrass him - humiliate him the way he humiliated me - then I'm gonna do it... and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!
Rhino snarls and growls before leaving, walking out of the locker room, leaving Cyrus in a position he's starting to become familiar with... alone.
After a commercial break, Extreme TV returns for the tag team match featuring Tommy Dreamer and the three men who will compete for the ECW World Title at Hardcore Heaven! Tommy Dreamer is already in the ring, and Sandman is finishing his presumably long ass entrance. However, his theme is cut off by Grinspoon's "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck", bringing out The Lone Impact Player, Justin Credible! Credible, sporting just jean shorts as he tends to do, wields a trusty Singapore Cane, despite using his earlier on the N.I.T.R.O contingent. Sandman also is rocking a new weapon as well. Credible gets onto the apron, but doesn't walk across the mind field by entering the ring, knowing he'd be prone to a pre-match assault by his drunken opponent. Dope's "Debonaire" then hits, bringing out 'The Man Beast' Rhino, without Cyrus, much to the delight of Joey Styles. Rhino doesn't seem distracted at all by his manager's absence following their little locker room bust-up, and Styles relishes in the prospects of what that might mean for Cyrus and his managerial future. However, all of that goes out of the picture because as soon as Rhino gets into the ring, Sandman lunges at him, bashing him over the skull with the Singapore Cane!
Justin Credible and Rhino vs. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer [78%]
Sandman looks to further Cane Rhino, but is cut out by a Singapore Cane to his ribs from Justin Credible! Credible utterly destroys Sandman with the weapon, proving his might with that Singapore Cane. It ends up with Dreamer and Credible starting the match off, both men exchanging simple blows, neither man gaining an advantage. The action spills outside early, and Tommy Dreamer rings Credible's bell when he holds the ring bell over his ear before hitting the bell with the hammer. It is something the crowd finds awesomely hilarious. The hardcore action stays the status quo for as the match progresses on, with tags being made across the board. The timekeeper's table is put to good use as Rhino inserts himself into the fray, getting Sandman onto the apron before sending both Sandman and himself through the table with a vertical suplex off the apron! "ECW! ECW!"
With the show pressed for time, seeing as there is still another segment to go, this match has no real rhythm or flow to it, and within a few minutes, it is total chaos. Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible brawl in the ring, while once the other two recover from their table spot, join them as well. As all four men fight, Cyrus makes an appearance at ringside, looking to come down and help Rhino out tonight to make up for their earlier spat, according to Joey Styles. Cyrus gets to the ringside area, grabs Rhino's ECW World Title Belt, gets Rhino's attention, and throws it into the ring. Instead of Rhino catching it, it is his partner who snatches it, causing confusion between the two. Rhino wrestles the belt away, but immediately takes a haymaker from Sandman, who just stood there confused during the tug of war between Rhino and Credible. Sandman and Dreamer both punch away at Rhino, and to make it all worse for the champion, a Sandman punch turns Rhino around, right into a Singapore Cane across the eyes from Credible! Lights out for Rhino! Credible exits the ring, having taken out his partner, leaving Rhino the wolves. As Dreamer pulls Rhino up to his feet, Sandman grabs his Singapore Cane... WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover by Sandman, and Rhino's out: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Sandman & Tommy Dreamer def. Rhino & Justin Credible
As Sandman and Dreamer celebrate in the ring together, a smirking Credible backs up the aisle way, knowing that while he'll have a tally in the loss column, he's walking away feeling like a winner tonight, getting one over on one of his opponents for Hardcore Heaven. As Rhino slowly stirs, his manager is left beside himself, hands over his cheeks in shock and embarrassment. "He came down to help his client, and look at how it backfired!" cries Styles. The show then cuts away for a sixty second break, according to Styles, but says not to go anywhere because Jerry Lynn is set to make an appearance next!
The Final Score [65%]
When Extreme TV returns, Lynn is there in the ring already.
Jerry Lynn: I'm not gonna stand around and sugarcoat any sort of bull*shit*, so lets just get straight to the point. Rob, there's somethin' I got to say, and I want ta' say it to your face, so RVD, come on out here!
Right to the point, indeed, Mister Lynn. "Walk" hits just a few moments later, and out appears a somewhat perplexed Rob Van Dam, walking down the aisle by himself. The show cuts to its final break as RVD makes his long entrance, and when Extreme TV returns, both men are in the ring, Lynn ready to talk again - the joys of a taped show.
Jerry Lynn: Rob, you and me have been at this for pushin' three years now. On and off, and back on again, time after time. Not once, have I ever gotten the victory over you that I really have wanted... and deserved. I've been better than you, RVD, but you always eek out that victory. Now two weeks ago, when we fought inside that steel cage, I put my heart and soul into it, that match. But, heh, you and I both know it was all for naught - you were better than me that night! I came in, thinking I would finally get a REAL one-on-one victory against you... but it wasn't meant to be. All I have wanted, Rob, in the past two-plus years... is to be better than you. I want to be the better man, Rob! I want to be the better wrestler than RVD! I want to be the one who gets a moment in the spotlight! But every *fuckin'* time, every single moment of every single day... I am second fiddle to Rob..Van..Dam!
Snarling with disgust as he says his rival's name, Lynn even uses his free hand to thumb taunt with the name. RVD can't help but smirk, the cocky SOB that he is. It just enrages Jerry Lynn even more.
Jerry Lynn: I hate everything about you, Rob! You steal my spotlight, you steal my thunder, you are always better than me! I HATE IT! I CAN'T STAND IT! I HATE YOUR *FUCKIN'* GUTS!
Spit flies as Lynn finishes his rant, his emotions getting the best of him. Lynn, fuming, resorts to taking deep breaths while RVD takes the time to talk.
Rob Van Dam: Look man, I respect the hell out of you. What you can do in the ring, it's great. There aren't many men in the world who can do what Jerry Lynn can. Heh, but the thing is... I'm one of those guys. I can do everything in the ring that you can... well, Rob Van Dam actually does it better than you.
Rob shrugs his shoulders and grins.
Rob Van Dam: It's been cool and all, brah, you and me putting on classic after classic. But truth be told, Mr. ECW, Mr. Extreme, is getting a little tired of it all, dude. We've torn down the house everywhere we've been, but I think it's high time we start going our separate ways, if ya' know what I'm sayin'. All B.S. aside, the simple truth is this: you're still jealous of Rob Van Dam. You were jealous of me two years ago, and you're still jealous now that when people think of Extreme Championship Wrestling, they think of me.. R..V..D!
Oh Rob, you gloriously cocky bastard. Lynn, of course, is fuming again, but it stops quickly. Instead, Lynn looks for a new tactic.
Jerry Lynn: You can stand here with all your little quips and cool nicknames, Rob, but at the end of the day, it means nothing. Your arrogance, it continues to hold you back from what you could really become. You may have beaten me, Rob, but your ego continues to hold you back when something important is on the line... like the ECW World Title.
Now Rob's confused. Me too, Rob, me too.
Jerry Lynn: Maybe that's it, Rob. When it's a straight-up wrestling match, yeah, you tend to end up beating me. I'll give ya' that, I can't try and justify my losses any more. But despite all of my problems with you, Rob, despite all six of the losses I have suffered at your hands, when there is something that matters on the line, I'm gonna pull through. When I had my shot at the ECW World Title, I took it! What have you done, Rob? You held a second rate title for two years, but what does that really mean? All it means is that when you're in the main event, when you have a chance to be remembered as one of the greats.. you're gonna choke, and you're gonna fail.
Now RVD is really confused. Lynn, you ain't so charismatic, ya' know, and ya' ain't makin' sense!
Rob Van Dam: You're a desperate man, Jerry. You talking freaking nonsense! When I was the TV Champion for almost two effin' years, I beat every single wrestler thrown at me, including you... multiple times. People were sayin' that because of RVD, the Television Title was just as important - maybe even more prestigious - than the ECW World Title. And when I finally had my chance for the "big one" at Living Dangerously, I had the match won. I was about to become ECW World Champion... that is, until you came in and screwed me over. So I don't want to hear any of your little mind games because fact of the matter is, dude, you put your pride on the line two weeks ago - and if you ask me, there's not much more valuable than a dude's pride - and you still weren't as good as the Whole F'n Show!
RVD's calm, poised attitude has evaporated, and in its place, is a fiery dude. He's not one for mind games, and he's certainly not someone who is going to take too kindly to having his ability to win under pressure questioned.
Rob Van Dam: For all my ego, for all my nicknames, for all my big highlight reel moments... I'm a straight shooter. So everyone here can believe me when I say that I am tired of all this talk between us. Quite simply, man, it's put up or shut up time! It's high time that this thing between you and me ends once and for all!
The crowd cheers, wanting to see one last match between two of ECW's greatest workers.
Jerry Lynn: I want nothing more than to have one more match, Rob, to finally get the legitimate victory over you that I've ached for, for far too long now.
RVD nods his head several times, knowing that the rubber match is set to come.
Jerry Lynn: But I have a problem...
Jerry Lynn: Rob, you and I, we could do this forever, don't you see? As long as we are both in ECW, we will continue to be rivals, wanting to one-up each other. That's just the nature of who we are. We can say, "we'll fight one more time, and then we move on," but we really never would. I am the Joker to your Batman, the Lex Luger to your Superman. We will always be enemies.
The confusion continues for Van Dam.
Jerry Lynn: Ya' know, we've talked about "high stakes" and winning when something really important is on the line, and yeah, I put my pride on the line, but that wasn't enough to beat you... but Rob, I can think of something more important than just pride... our livelihoods! This has to end, and there is only one way to do it... Loser LEAVES ECW... forever! I couldn't beat you when it was just pride on the line, and if I can't beat you when my career is on the line, then I will finally know that you are the better wrestler, Rob, that you're better than me!
There's silence for a few moments. Van Dam looks noticeably hesitant by Lynn truly upping the stakes.
Jerry Lynn: This... this is the only way, Rob. There will be no excuses, there will be no interference, there will be, and I mean it this time, just Rob Van Dam... and Jerry Lynn. We can finally find out who is the better man, and this is truly over, once and for all. Winner takes all, loser leaves... forever. I'm willing to put it all on the line, Rob. So what I need to know is... are you? Are you ready to test out who is the real Mr. Extreme? Who is the real Mr. PPV? Who is the real F'n Show?
Lynn, after a few moments, extends his hand to RVD, looking for a gentleman's agreement. RVD continues to look skeptical about whether or not he should accept the challenge - after all, there is everything to lose. After several moments, RVD takes a deep breath, nods his head once, and shakes the hand of Jerry Lynn! Match on, and the crowd erupts!
Rob Van Dam: Hardcore Heaven, pay per view. You and me - Rob Van Dam versus Jerry Lynn - one more match, one final time. In nine days, dude, everything's on the line. It's about our pride, it's about our careers, it's about finding out, once and for all, Jerry, just who is the REAL F'n show. So get ready, man! I don't want you to hold anything back! I've beaten you countless times before, but this time, when we dance one last time, I want to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Rob Van Dam is better than Jerry Lynn! Let's do this thing, dude!
The crowd continues to cheer like crazy at the match, and at Hardcore Heaven, a two-year long feud will finally come to an end! The two men continue their handshake, but it is clearly both men trying to out-squeeze the hand of the other person, both men sending a message as they stare each other down as Joey Styles wraps up the show.
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD~! The stakes are going to be at the highest level imaginable! Sunday, May 13th! Hardcore Heaven! It's going to be one last time, Rob Van Dam versus Jerry Lynn, one of the greatest rivalries in ECW, and only one man can walk away a winner! Only one man can walk away... still a member of ECW!
When An Empire Falls - The Tale of World Championship Wrestling
Szumi's back, but not in black - back in BTB! And yeah, I know, he's doing WCW again - so unoriginal.
2008 - Best PPV - Starrcade
2008, 2007, & 2006 - Best Promo Writer
2007 & 2006 - Best Promo(s)
2007 - Most Creative
2007 - Best Feedbacker
2006 & 2007 BTB World Cup - Top Overall Scorer
2007 BTB World Cup - Booker of the Tournament
Only Person to Ever Score Perfect Score in a Tournament
BTB Hall of Famer
World Championship Wrestling 2001 - The Trio Ownership
This was The Trio Ownership; I did it a long time ago, for a long time. T'was a good ready, I think. People liked it and stuff.