Re: Extreme Championship Wrestling 2001 - Tales of a Jaded Old Man
"You ready for tonight?"
Paul Heyman: "It's a moment I've been waiting for, for far too long now. This, is the moment when we finally get a TV show that may actually support us!"
Mutual laughter is shared between the two men.
???: "You just gotta remember it's a business, Paulie. Remember the debacle that was TNN. No matter how you view ECW, the networks - the suits - are going to look at this company differently. Yeah, USA is giving you a huge opportunity, and yeah they're giving you one hell of a deal here, but if you don't meet their demands - if you take things too far, as no offense, you tend to do sometimes - they'll cut you. If USA drops ECW, those executives won't blink an eye or lose any sleep. They'll find other shows, other ways to make money."
Paul Heyman: "What are you trying to tell me?"
???: "You already know what I'm saying. You've known about this since the very moment you decided to sign on with USA over the deal Showtime had for you. When you go on national TV, you cannot continue to do some of the things that ECW has done in the past. At least not on TV, of course. The USA Network is not going to allow our wrestlers to be dropping F bombs left and right. Censoring words is all well and good, but the promo's aren't going to have any effect if half the words are bleeped out."
Paul Heyman: "I have learned from past mistakes, don't you worry. I had the choice between USA and Showtime, remember? I had to choose between keeping ECW what has been for years, and go to a network that wouldn't ensure our future, or choose USA. By choosing USA, I knew I would have to tone down some of what has made ECW what it is, and I'm doing it for my company's survival."
???: "Critics will be critics. Some will bash ECW for toning it down a bit."
Paul Heyman: "And I say, fucking let 'em. This TV deal isn't going to turn us into a WWF-lite or a WCW-lite. We're still going to be Extreme Championship Wrestling! There will be hardcore wrestling, there will be pure, excellent wrestling. There will be blood. There will be tables, and chairs, and any kind of weapon anyone wants to have. There will be profanity. There will be violence. It will be... extreme."
???: "I do believe there is a market for this product, Paul. People will love what ECW has to offer, like they always have. But you must remember the very thin line we are walking on here. One wrong step... and this company could be dead."
Paul Heyman: "And that's why I already got a plan."
He couldn't see Paul Heyman, but the investor knew Heyman well enough to know the owner of ECW had a trademark evil grin on his face. And when Heyman has that look on his face, it means one thing: business is about to pick up.
Extreme TV Preview: After almost six months of going without a national TV deal, Extreme Championship Wrestling is back, and on the USA Network! After just barely surviving Living Dangerously with his ECW World Title - and having lost the TV Title to Rob Van Dam - 'The Man Beast' Rhino will defend the ECW World Title against the face of ECW, 'The Innovator of Violence' Tommy Dreamer! And speaking of the new TV Champion, Mr. Extreme himself, Rob Van Dam, will start his new reign of a title he once held for almost two years with a title defense against 'El Insane Luchadore' Super Crazy! With appearances also by former ECW World Champions Sandman and Justin Credible, Spike Dudley, ECW Tag Team Champions Danny Doring and Roadkill, Mikey Whipwreck, Nova, and the Full Blooded Italians, it is time for the USA Network to be taken to the... extreme!
ECW on USA: Extreme TV
Just as the clock prepares to turn to 10 PM Eastern Standard Time, a warning appears on the screen to highlight the graphic material that is about to be on display on the television. Viewer discretion is advised.
No opening, no flashy pyrotechnics, or anything of the sort. Instead, it is the figure of a lone man, standing in a hallway, in a front of a very bland looking wall with a tarp that reads the letters of E C W.
Joey Styles: Hello and good evening. Ladies and gentlemen, men and women, boys and girls... allow me to just say, welcome. Welcome once again to Extreme Championship Wrestling. It has been almost six long months since we were last on cable TV, so in case you have forgotten who I am, my name is Joey Styles, and I am the Voice of ECW. Those three letters are not just a name, a brand, or a company; ECW is a lifestyle, a way of thinking, a revolution. For the next hour, that is what will be on display for your viewing pleasure - a hardcore revolution. You see, at Extreme Championship Wrestling, we're going to make sure we deliver to you fans, wrestling. We're going to make sure we deliver to you fans, entertainment. We are a modern day success story, the Little Engine That Could. At ECW, we never say die. We never say quit. We keep going, day in and day out, to provide the best extreme wrestling that we can possibly deliver. And now, it has all come to this. Extreme Championship Wrestling on the USA Network - a network that doesn't promote shows like RollerJam as the best thing television has to offer! For everyone at ECW, I would like to personally say to the folks at USA Network, and to all of our fans watching us now... we say, thank you. Thank you for keeping the ECW dream alive, and thank you for making tonight possible. So without further ado, it is time for everyone to join the hardcore revolution, and sit back as we take you to... the extreme!
The show then quickly fades to black before "This is Extreme" plays in sequence with a new look opening video. A lot of current and former ECW stars are highlighted, although there is no inclusion of current WWF stars like Taz(z), Raven, and the Dudley Boyz. Finally, we go "live" to the Hammerstein Ballroom where over 2,000 fans are excited as ever for the ECW debut on the USA Network, and the return of Extreme Championship Wrestling to national TV!
Joey Styles is up in the Nest to provide solo commentary, and the mouth of ECW continues to hype up the company's history and 'extreme lifestyle' as right away the tune of "Walk" by Pantera/Kilgore hits, sending the New York crowd into an absolute frenzy as the new, and once again, ECW Television Champion, The Whole Fuckin' Show, Mr. Extreme and Mr. Friday Night himself, Rob Van Dam, comes walking out from the back, his annoying yet lovable manager, Bill Alfonso, in tow. We're going to get directly under way with wrestling, according to Joey Styles, and ring announcer Stephen DeAngelis announces to the capacity crowd that this match will be for RVD's newly won TV Title. Because hey, what better way to kick off your debut TV show with the TV Title being defended? By the company's biggest star, no less! As RVD gets into the ring and plays to the crowd with his usual taunts, "Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors brings out El Insane Luchadore, Super Crazy! The acrobatic daredevil sprints out from the back and dives into the ring from underneath the bottom rope, and also plays to the crowd. Face vs. face to kick off the brand new Extreme TV!
Rob Van Dam (c) (w/Bill Alfonso) vs. Super Crazy
ECW Television Championship
A hand shake starts the first match off, but a collar and elbow tie-up is the first real 'action.' How thrilling. The two men quickly show everyone watching at home that ECW is not just a spot fest stunt show, going through several series of chain wrestling. The two men quickly go hold-for-hold, transitioning out of waist locks, arm wrenches, and the like, before working their way into seated and prone positions on the canvas. It's a lot of fast action, and Joey Styles has a hard time to keep up with the quick escapes and reversals put on display by the two men. The drawn out series ends when RVD, on his back on the canvas, wiggles his way out of a side head lock before kipping up to his feet, fists out in shoot position, just as Super Crazy springs up to his feet in the same position. It's El Stand Off, and the crowd loves the excellent work rate they just saw, giving the two men a round of applause for their efforts.
The action goes to a more conventional ECW approach soon after, and that means with these two, the high flying is about to begin. Rob Van Dam starts to get an advantage on Super Crazy with a barrage of strikes, but Super Crazy comes off the ropes after a whip and sends RVD to the canvas with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors take down before hitting a spring board back elbow off the second rope. RVD gets his own offense in, catching a Crazy kick and countering it with his step over wheel kick, while also hitting the Rolling Thunder after one of his signature monkey flips. The action has to spill over to the outside at one point, and that it does when Rob Van Dam heads up top, only for Super Crazy to telegraph RVD's high flying intentions but shoving Van Dam off the top turnbuckle, sending him flying to the outside where he crashes chin first onto the steel guard rail! If that didn't draw a loud enough "EC-Dub" chant, Super Crazy guarantees a good chant when he hops from the apron to the top rope, spring boards while facing the ring, and hits a 360 degree corkscrewing moonsault to the standing RVD!
After a down period of recovery, Super Crazy works over Van Dam on the outside with a lot of punches and kicks. El Insane Luchadore tries to spring board again, this time off of the guard rail, with a hurricanrana maneuver. It backfires however, as RVD catches Crazy on his shoulders, and scores with a sit-out power bomb, right onto one of the protective mats at ringside required by the state of New York. RVD rolls Super Crazy back into the ring, while RVD hops up to the top turnbuckle. Once Crazy gets up to his feet, Van Dam flies again, connecting with a side crescent kick to the jaw! Down goes Crazy, and RVD follows it up with a quick split-legged moonsault from the third turnbuckle as well! Cover, but Super Crazy kicks out before the three! It's not to be for Super Crazy though, as despite his resilience, the match ends moments later when Fonzie, who has been blowing his whistle erratically throughout the match, tosses RVD a steel chair. Mr. Extreme tosses it to Super Crazy, who catches it, and eats a Van Daminator! With Super Crazy down, RVD makes sure he is out too, as he hops up top... and connects with the Five Star Frog Splash! Cover, and referee Jim Molineux counts to three! Rob Van Dam retains the ECW Television Title in a hot opening affair!
Rob Van Dam def. Super Crazy to retain ECW Television Championship
"Walk" plays again throughout the Ballroom as Rob Van Dam gets up to his feet and is handed the title belt that he once held for almost two full years. As Fonzie gets onto the apron to join in on the celebrations with his client, he starts to sound off on his whistle with a shrill, and frantically points to behind his friend. Diving into the ring behind Rob Van Dam is his long time nemesis, 'The New F'n Show' Jerry Lynn! Lynn goes in for the sneak attack, but thanks to the help of the Fonz, RVD knows what is coming, and quickly turns around, ready for Lynn and in fight mode! The face actually foiling a sneak attack catches Lynn by complete surprise, and despite his fists raised for combat, the New F'n Show backs off a few steps, the two men staring each other down, nothing but complete hatred in the two men's eyes. Neither man dares to make a move as the two stare each other down, the crowd chanting a somewhat censored "Fuck Him Up, Van Dam, Fuck Him Up!" The two men continue to stare each other down for a few more moments before Lynn smirks ever so slightly and rolls out of the ring before walking backwards along the entrance aisle, his eyes never straying away from Rob Van Dam. As the whole encounter goes down, Styles does an excellent job to hype the long standing feud between the two, as well as mentioning the fact that Lynn cost RVD the ECW World Title just this past Sunday on pay per view at Living Dangerously.
Introducing the Heart and Soul of ECW... A Loser
After a commercial break, the focus is back again on Joey Styles, who does the voice over for a recap of ECW's PPV this past Sunday, Living Dangerously. The main points hyped by Styles are the continuance of the feud between Jerry Lynn and Rob Van Dam, with Lynn costing RVD the chance to become the ECW World Champion, and the interference of CW Anderson in the match's opener, resulting in Anderson costing Tommy Dreamer the chance to compete for Rhino's World and TV Titles. After another round of hyping the ECW product and Living Dangerously, which can be ordered on replay for any ECW fans still interested, the show cuts to the back for a pre-taped segment. The man in the back is the longest serving wrestler in ECW, the heart and soul of the company, the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer. The New York native is dressed to compete in his EC F'nW shirt and track pants. Despite the high stakes on the line tonight, the veteran looks cool under pressure, but there is certainly an intense, focused look in his eyes presently.
Tommy Dreamer: ...I have been in this company for nine years - nine years. My blood, my sweat, and my tears have all been shed inside an ECW ring... day after day, month after month, year after year. I stood in that ring and got Caned by the Sandman! I spent two years being humiliated and embarrassed by Raven, made a mockery of countless times! I was the one who stood up for this company when Jerry Lawler tried to make this company out to be a piece of *shit*! I have had my bones broken - I literally busted my nuts working for this company! ...And yet, through all of this, through the nine incredible years of torture... I have been the ECW World Champion for just 30 whole *fuckin'* minutes!
Dreamer has to stop, fuming at perhaps his own incompetency.
Tommy Dreamer: The same night I won that ECW World Title belt... I lost it. Despite all of my memorable matches and rivalries, I have been the epitome of failure. I needed two years to defeat one man. I needed eight to win the biggest title in this company. I...have been...a FAILURE!
The anger is flooding out of Dreamer at this point.
Tommy Dreamer: Tonight is supposed to be a huge night for this company. Everyone thought that this company was a dead fish. But my heart never stopped beating! The blood that continued to run through my veins still said, "E-C-W." People have called me the heart and soul of this company... and they are right. I am the heart and soul of ECW! And I kept beating - I didn't die - and that is why there is still an ECW tonight! Because of people like Tommy Dreamer! Paul Heyman! Joey Styles! Rob Van Dam! We made this company what it is! And tonight, on national TV, with all of America watching - here on the USA Network - I am going to finally take the chance to carry this company on my back and be a real ECW World Heavyweight Champion.
The anger of Dreamer starts to be replaced by confidence.
Tommy Dreamer: If my dream is going to become a reality, then I know for a fact that I am going to need help. There is only one man that I need help from, and that one man, is the same person who cost me my chance for the World Title less than a week ago; the same man who I defeated in January in an I Quit match - I'm talking about CW Anderson.
His new rival needs to help him?
Tommy Dreamer: You see, it is very simple. CW Anderson, you and me, we don't like each other. I get that. I don't like you, and you damn sure showed that you hate me this past Sunday when you cost me a chance at the World Title at Living Dangerously. But CW, let me just tell you this: stay out of my way tonight, for both of us. You and me, we'll fight anotha' day, you can bet on that. But if you stay clear tonight - give me a chance against Rhino, one on one - I will end tonight as the new ECW World Champion. And then, Anderson, when you come lookin' for a fight with me again, it ain't going to be about whose best. It'll be about the biggest prize in this company - the ECW World Title.
Dreamer gives Anderson a look that pretty much says, 'Listen to what I'm saying; I'm right. Dreamer starts to walk away, but then returns for one last line.
Tommy Dreamer: Hey Anderson... think about it.
With that, Dreamer walks off, and the pre-taped segment ends, sending us back to ringside, and just in time for the techno remix of "Stayin' Alive", which brings out the heel contingent of the Full Blooded Italians. Little Guido and Sal E. Graziano goad the New York fans, who somehow aren't cheering for the Little Italy based faction. Weird. Tony Mamaluke, for his part, lacks the presence to do anything but make an entrance really. The FBI's antics only ensure that the chants of "Where's My Pizza? Sal E Ate It!" are fired up by the Hammerstein Ballroom crowd. The fans start to cheer though as AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" brings out 'Little' Spike Dudley, as well as his partners for the evening, the reigning ECW Tag Team Champions, 'Dastardly' Danny Doring and 'Amish' Roadkill. Doring looks cocky as ever as the flamboyant half of the Tag Champs struts down the entrance aisle, while Roadkill and Spike also are sure to keep the New York crowd hot. Once in the ring, Spike and Guido stay in the ring, and referee Danny Daniels calls for the bell.
Full Blooded Italians vs. Spike Dudley and Danny Doring & Roadkill
Little Guido and Spike start the match going hold-for-hold out of a tie-up, and much to the chagrin of the Queens crowd, it is Guido who schools the runt of the Dudley litter, out classing Spike with his incredible technical wrestling ability. It helps give the FBI an early advantage, as Guido is able to transition in submission holds to wear down Dudley. The FBI caps off their early momentum when Guido gets behind Dudley and hooks him up for a tiger suplex, and Tony Mamaluke flies off the top turnbuckle, hitting Dudley with a drop kick while Guido lifts Spike up and drops him on his neck with the tiger suplex! Mamaluke's interjection was completely illegal, but hey, this is ECW. Guido covers after the combo, but Dudley, ever a resilient one, gets a shoulder up. The dirty tactics of the FBI infuriates the Tag Champs on the apron, and Roadkill drops off the apron and grabs weapons, setting up two tables on top of each other on the outside, and then setting up an additional table on another side of the ringside area. I'm sure they'll come into play later.
The ring action goes from side to side in terms of advantage, as all three of the faces enter the ring at one point, while Big Sal and his fat posterior stays out of the match for the FBI. The FBI end up doing a number on Danny Doring after Tony Mamaluke escapes out of a Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am attempt and scores with a swinging DDT. However, the cocky Doring doesn't stay down for too long, as he is able to eventually reverse a whip from Little Guido, sending the Sicilian into Tony Mamaluke on the apron, bumping Mamaluke to the ringside floor while Maritato goes down. Roadkill is then tagged in for the face team, while Sal is forced to be tagged in by Guido. The two big behemoths get into a brawl with each other in the middle of the ring, something the crowd loves, especially because it results in the Angry Amish Warrior laying a beating into Big Sal. Roadkill's big right hands gets the Italian bodyguard reeling into the ropes, and after a whip into the ropes, Big Sal eats a huge rotating power slam from Roadkill! How that didn't just break the ring is beyond me! It causes Big Sal to roll under the ropes to the apron, and a tag for Mamaluke. However, Guido enters the ring as well, and it causes mayhem. The 3 on 2 advantage for the faces means they quickly mow through Guido and Mamaluke, beating the two down before going spotty. Danny Doring, in an impressive feat of strength, picks up Tony Mamaluke in a military press position, walks over to the ropes, chucks him over the top rope and to the outside, and through a table! That gets the famous three letter chant going, but it's not done there. As Big Sal gets up to his feet on the apron, Roadkill runs off the opposite ropes before bumping him with a running shoulder block, sending Graziano flying through the air and through the two stacked tables! "ECW! ECW!" From there, Little Guido is left to be killed, as Roadkill whips him off the ropes before lifting him into the air for a flapjack... and Spike Dudley rips a page out of his brothers book, pulling Guido down for the 3D! Dudley Death Drop! Spike covers Guido, even though neither of the two are the legal men - and it's an easy one, two, three, and the faces are the winners!
Spike Dudley and Danny Doring & Roadkill def. the Full Blooded Italians
As "Highway to Hell" plays over the PA system after the match, Doring and Roadkill collect their Tag Belts and hoist them into the air while the three faces celebrate their victory. Joey Styles, in full hype mode tonight to try and get the ECW product over with any new fans, hypes up the potential and promise of the tag team of Doring and Roadkill, mentioning despite their youth, they have been a team for over three years and have ascended to the top of the tag team ranks in ECW. As Styles continues his shill, the show takes another break.
Orange Juice With a Little Pulp (Fiction)
When Extreme TV returns, it is to pre-taped vignettes. The very first man shown is one of the icon's of ECW, Sandman. The Sandman takes a puff of a cigarette before chugging three Budweiser's before saying anything.
Sandman: For those of you who don't know who I am, all you need to know is that I'm the Sandman, and I'm the biggest single icon in this company's history! For close to a decade, I've been at the top of this company, winning World Title after World Title after World Title! I've done all there is to do in ECW, but as you can see, I'm still thirsty for more!
And so Sandman chugs another beer before crushing it over his head.
Sandman: I've been the ECW World Champion five times! Five times! I'm the big shot! This past Sunday, I had a chance to regain the World Title I lost to Rhino in January, and I admit, I blew it! But guess what!? Rhino! Cyrus! This ain't over! It ain't over by a long shot! The Sandman is coming, and he ain't gonna stop until he's back on top of ECW! So be warned, Rhino! Sandman's comin', and you're gonna get caned!
Sandman then picks up his trademark Singapore Cane and starts bashing it against the wall, not stopping until the cane has broken into pieces. The segment then cuts to a new scene, one that features Simon Diamond, Dawn Marie, and Johnny Swinger.
Simon Diamond: ...Simon has a problem! You see, I know for a fact that the people watching at home on the USA Network are sitting on their couch, watching - waiting - for yours truly, Simon Diamond! I am what the people come to see! And it's all because you people want to be... me! I have the hottest girlfriend in the world, a best friend who has my back, and then... there's me. I am the greatest wrestler in ECW, and obviously the best looking one too. And yet, Simon doesn't get live TV time!? That is a problem for Simon, but need not forget, I am your resident problem solver! So next week, fear not fan boys, because Simon Diamond will be live, in the ring, and making an impact for everyone to see, on the USA Network!
Diamond puts his hand on his chin while flashing a devious smirk, while Dawn rubs his arm and Swinger just stands there like a lackey should do. Cut away to the next promo, and it's former ECW World Champion Mikey Whipwreck! The man who turned his back on the Unholy Alliance this past Sunday at Living Dangerously looks a new man, no longer dressing like a bum, his long hair cut short, and that bad looking red colored hair has been dyed back to its normal shade of brown.
Mikey Whipwreck: This past Sunday at Living Dangerously, live on pay per view, I finally cut ties with men who held me back. Tajiri and the Sinister Minister, you are two men who kept a former ECW World Champion stuck fighting for co-glory, for titles shared not by one person, but two. Well let me tell you somethin': I am DONE obsessing over the occult and evil worshiping! Sinister Minister, you may be some evil wizard hell bent on death and destruction, by I'm not! I'm only focused on one thing, and one thing only, and that is winning back the honor and prestige that I used to have! I have come too damn far to be some piece of crap reading out of spell books and teaming up with some stupid Japanese punk that doesn't understand a damn word I say! Next week on Extreme TV, I'm going to introduce to the world the NEW and the IMPROVED Michael Whipwreck! I am no joke, people! Laugh at me if you dare, but for those who stand against me, you will be... wrecked!
Well, it was certainly a cheesy ending, but hey, not everybody can be a Ric Flair, Mikey. Time for the fourth promo, and standing in a garage looking setting is 'Nasty' Nova.
Nova: As everyone goes through life, they move though different stages of how they live. Most people will change jobs, buy and sell houses, get new cars, the whole ordeal. Well my life in ECW has been like a lifespan for a person's whole life. I've been a joke in this company! I dressed up like members of KISS. I've been Hollywood Nova, parodying the lives of other stars. I've been a lackey for others. And I've been a friend, and I've been an enemy. You see, for the longest time, I had a tag team partner, and friend, by the name of Chris Chetti. But friend became foe, and we became enemies. However, I have proven I am no longer some piece of comedy fodder, I'm the real deal! I am a professional wrestler, and a damn good one at that! When it's time to get nasty, you can count on Nova! Just ask Chris Chetti. When we put our jobs on the line, I defeated Chris Chetti, and sent him packing from ECW. The loser left town.
Well, not really, as he returned at Guilty as Charged right away. But I guess that's being forgotten about?
Nova: And despite the screw job efforts of Chetti to get back into ECW, it's not happening! Chetti's history! And now, it is time for Nova to continue his evolution. This past Sunday, I wrestled one heck of a match at Living Dangerously, and I lost. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Because losing... has only made me hungrier for success. I'm a new man, ECW! I'm not going to sit back and be anyone's joker anymore! This is a new era for ECW on the USA Network, and you're going to all remember it as the era of Nova! 'Cause when I get back into that ring, it's gonna be time... to get nast'ay!
Nova throws his arms up into a pose of some sort, and we cut to our final pre-taped promo, and much like Sandman and Whipwreck, is a man who is a former ECW World Heavyweight Champion. He's not just the coolest. He's not just the best. He's Justin Credible.
Justin Credible: I think it shows just what kind of company ECW is when it refuses to put its hottest star live on the debut of the most hardcore wrestling show there is! I’m a frickin’ former ECW World Champion, people!
Frickin’? He’s hardcore! He’s hardcore!
Justin Credible: The worst part about this disgrace? It’s exactly what I have come to expect in ECW! You can’t count on nobody but yourself! I spent several years in this company, and every person who I once looked to as someone who would stand by me... has left me in the dust! The Impact Players, remember that name? That name was once synonymous with the best tag team in ECW, but not anymore! Lance Storm, gone for the money! Steve Corino, he was supposed to join me. We were supposed to run this company, however we saw fit! BUT GUESS AGAIN!
He’s having the platform to voice a lot of pent up anger, and that’s exactly what Credible is doing.
Justin Credible: There are no Impact Players! There is no team! There is only an I! I’m the Lone Impact Player! Thee Impact Player! There is only the coolest! There is only the best! There is only... Just..In..Credible!
A hard, angry stare into the camera from Credible ends the segment as the show cuts to another break.
You Can't Be Called The Network When You're Not A Part of It
When ECW’s Extreme TV returns, it is to the faction formerly called The Network already in the ring, Cyrus holding a microphone, attempting to speak, but being cut off by chants of “Fuck You, Cyrus” and “You’re A Homo!” Those chants, of course, are censored by the network. Uh oh, Paul, don’t get angry! Eventually, Cyrus is able to address the crowd and the viewing fans.
Cyrus: Just look at all these troglodytes filling this arena!
And of course, that gets the angry crowd even more, well, angry.
Cyrus: Tonight, I am not going to address any of these half-brained nitwits in this arena. Oh no! Tonight, I am here to speak to those who are watching me right now from the confines of their couch, watching this show on the USA Network as we speak. To those people, I am here tonight to speak to you in the hopes that you are not like these mongoloids and filth standing before me. I hope that you people watching at home recognize class and talent when you see it! Because these people, these pieces of crap I keep having to look at, do not understand!
More jeers towards Cyrus and his boys.
Cyrus: Tonight, I should be standing here tonight a broken and bitter man. I was once the proud executive of the network that used to air ECW programming. It was because of me that ECW was once canceled, and if things go my way, I will once again become the head of the USA Network, and be allowed to run ECW the way I see fit! It is only a matter of time until Cyrus, Jerry Lynn, and Rhino are in command of this company!
No surprise that the ECW faithful aren’t a fan of that.
Cyrus: To the viewers watching at home, allow me to introduce to you the two greatest wrestlers that has ever come out of the crappy bingo hall from Philadelphia - the NEW F’n Show, Jerry Lynn, and the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, my Man Beast... RHINO!
The two men taunt, and the crowd boo.
Cyrus: Earlier tonight, you already saw this man to my right, Mister Lynn. This man is hands down, pound for pound, the most proficient, all-around greatest, professional wrestler today! And yet, despite all of his talents, he continues to be treated like your everyday curtain jerker! This company does not support Jerry Lynn. Instead, this company, much like all these mindless pawns and fiends in the audience, supports the *mocking voice* “Whole F’n Show.. Rob Van Dam.”
Cyrus looks on disgust as the crowd cheers RVD’s name.
Cyrus: Well to the viewing fans at home, I hope that you have the same kind of dignity and respect that I do, and support this man, Jerry Lynn! This is the man who, alongside Rhino, is the face of ECW! Not men like RVD! Not men like the Sandman! And not men like Tommy Dreamer!
All those men get cheers. It infuriates Rhino, who snatches the microphone from Cyrus.
Rhino: Are you done yet!?
Cyrus looks stunned by Rhino’s boldness.
Rhino: While I agree with every single word you say, I’m not here tonight to launch a campaign - Lynn versus Van Dam. I am here tonight, to HURT! TO INJURE! TO KILL!
Rhino pulls at his hair and growls.
Rhino: TOMMY DREAMER!! These people love and adore you! WELL I DON’T! I hate your frickin’ guts! People think of ECW, and they think of you. BUT NOT ANYMORE! NOT AFTER TONIGHT! I’m the new face of ECW! I’m the most dominant force in wrestling today! So Dreamer! Get your ass out here..RIGHT NOW! ECW Title on the line, you and me! I’m tired of waiting for the main event! It starts now! Tonight marks the end of Tommy Dreamer, the Extreme Icon, and marks the beginning of the Man Beast! The Era..of...*growling* RRRRRHHINNOO!
Rhino slams the microphone down to the canvas, pulls at his hair, and yells for Dreamer to come on and get out here. It doesn’t take long for the response to come as “Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains fills the Hammerstein Ballroom, bringing out the face of ECW, the heart and soul of ECW, the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer! As Dreamer makes his entrance, the show cuts to its final commercial break, so the viewing audience doesn’t have to go through all of his entrance and the pre-match formalities.
Rhino (c) (w/Cyrus) vs. Tommy Dreamer
ECW World Championship
The bell rings as soon as the show returns from commercial break, and we are under way in our main event! It is no surprise that the two don’t go the route of a tie-up or anything classy - this is going to be a straight up brawl. Right away the two men charge at each other and rock the house with thundering rights and lefts, the crowd immediately getting into the brawl. In contrast to the opener on the card, this match doesn’t need technical wrestling and aerial combat. Instead, the company’s face and champion go to show what the other message of ECW is about - hardcore wrestling. The action spills outside within a minute, and after reversing a whip and sending Rhino into the guardrail, Tommy Dreamer introduces the USA Network to hardcore wrestling with the crowd. Dreamer has a fan in the front row hold his steel chair up high, allowing Dreamer to smash Rhino’s face into it! As Rhino staggers back, Dreamer then takes the chair, throws it at Rhino, putting Rhino’s head through the chair! Oh, yeah, you know - “EC-Dub! EC-Dub!”
Tables and other weapons come into play, as Dreamer sets up a table at ringside before getting into the crowd and having two fans help him out by setting up a table in the audience. And just because, a table is slid into the ring as well. Tommy Dreamer grabs a frying pan from underneath the ring, tries to brain Rhino with it, but the Man Beast counters with a kick to the mid-section before taking the weapon and hitting Dreamer across the face with it! Dreamer staggers backwards, and Rhino grabs him before throwing him over his head and releasing him into the air... with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex over the guardrail, into the crowd, and through the table! That’s not just an “ECW” chant, but also “Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” The two men brawl in the crowd for a few moments after the spot, the Man Beast kicking and beating on Dreamer, much to the delight of Cyrus and Rhino. Rhino eventually throws Dreamer over the guardrail and back into the ringside area, where he continues to punch and kick the crap out of Dreamer. The Man Beast keeps the action hardcore, braining Dreamer across the skull with a trash can before using the trash can lid to as a prop for when he drives Dreamer to the floor with a spinebuster! Hey, if the mat is on the ground, put a weapon over top of it! Rhino tries to break Dreamer in half as his beat down continues when he charges at Dreamer and looks for the GORE - but he misses! Rhino goes full sprint, but misses the Gore as Dreamer side steps the champion, sending the Man Beast running skull first into the steel guardrail! The Man Beast staggers away from the guardrail, clutching his head, still doubled over, right into the Dreamer DDT! Right onto the concrete floor! “ECW! ECW! ECW!”
After several moments of recuperating, Dreamer slowly rolls Rhino into the ring, enters the ring himself, and sets up the table slid into the ring earlier. Dreamer does Rhino a favor though it seems when he opts for setting it up in the corner of the ring, making one fear Dreamer will eat that table later. But for now, Tommy Dreamer instead whips Rhino into the turnbuckles and hits a vertical suplex as the Man Beast staggers back into the ring, scoring a two count from Mike Kehner. Tommy Dreamer wants to win his second ECW World Title, and calls for the end. He picks Rhino up onto his shoulders for the Spicolli Driver, but Rhino slips out. Dreamer blocks a right, kicks his opponent in the gut, lifts him up again for the Spicolli Driver, but again Rhino escapes! Rhino ducks a clothesline, and whips Dreamer into the corner where the table is positioned. Dreamer stops himself before going through the wood, turns... right into a GORE! GORE!! GORE!!! THROUGH THE TABLE!
BUT IT WASN’T RHINO!
The ECW Crowd is stunned into complete silence as Tommy Dreamer lays a wreck in the corner of the ring from the Gore, while Rhino stands and stares at the third man in the ring, the Man Beast absolutely stunned and shocked. Rhino shakes off the disbelief and charges this newcomer, but Rhino misses with a clothesline, takes a kick to the gut, is lifted off of his feet and onto the man’s shoulders... RUNNING POWERBOMB... OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE... AND THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
...it’s Mike Awesome! The former ECW World Champion, the man who tried to leave this company for WCW with the World Title belt, is standing in the middle of the ECW ring, and he has just destroyed Tommy Dreamer and Rhino! The jean-clad Awesome uses his index finger to write three letters in the air...
Before Awesome can do anything else, he is roughly tackled to the canvas! ECW security is on the scene, and three men just roughly tackled the hell out of the traitor from behind, bringing him down to the canvas. A fourth ECW security members sprints and dives into the ring, slapping on handcuffs as the three security members physically restrain Awesome in a prone position, his arms held behind his back. To his credit, Mike Awesome isn’t even struggling or trying to fight the crew. He’s simply laughing now. This New York crowd is still in complete disbelief at the arrival of a man many would call Judas. More security members are on the scene, and Awesome is dragged out of the ring and escorted out of the ringside area. As he is walked up the entrance aisle, there are over two dozen wrestlers and staff who have come out to the back to see just what in the hell is going on. At the front of the crew, is the Executive Producer and owner of ECW, Paul Heyman. Heyman, much like everyone else, is half-furious half-shocked at the unexpected and unannounced arrival of one of the men he hates the most in professional wrestling. The ECW wrestlers don’t dare do anything to Awesome as he is escorted to the back, and as Awesome is pushed past the stunned Heyman, he simply smirks at his former boss and says, “Hi, Paul.”
Rhino and Tommy Dreamer fight to a no contest; Rhino retains the ECW World Championship
As Awesome’s slow, drawn out escort from the ring continues, the show ends with Joey Styles talking from the Nest as the elements at ringside play out.
Joey Styles: Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I knew what exactly we are witnessing right now! This isn’t in the script! This isn’t how tonight was supposed to be! I don’t know what in the hell is going on! Mike Awesome, this guy isn’t in ECW! He’s not wanted here! He’s not welcomed here! We don’t like World Championship Wrestling - hell, we hate nothing more than WCW! There’s no affiliation between us, so I have no idea why Mike Awesome is in the Hammerstein Ballroom, and why he’s yelling “WCW” right now. Heck, who knows if there even is a WCW anymore! Last I heard, that was another McMahon corporation now! The look on the faces of these people in the crowd - the look on the face of Paul Heyman - says it all. Mike Awesome is not welcomed in ECW, and only Mike Awesome can explain how in the hell he got into this arena tonight! Fans, this is not how I anticipated the first ever Extreme TV on the USA Network ending, but we are out of time! Tune in next week to the USA Network for the second edition of Extreme TV! For everyone at ECW, so long!
However, despite the ending from Joey Styles, he still can’t help but say one last line.
Joey Styles: ...My God...Mike Awesome. How in the hell?
When An Empire Falls - The Tale of World Championship Wrestling
Szumi's back, but not in black - back in BTB! And yeah, I know, he's doing WCW again - so unoriginal.
2008 - Best PPV - Starrcade
2008, 2007, & 2006 - Best Promo Writer
2007 & 2006 - Best Promo(s)
2007 - Most Creative
2007 - Best Feedbacker
2006 & 2007 BTB World Cup - Top Overall Scorer
2007 BTB World Cup - Booker of the Tournament
Only Person to Ever Score Perfect Score in a Tournament
BTB Hall of Famer
World Championship Wrestling 2001 - The Trio Ownership
This was The Trio Ownership; I did it a long time ago, for a long time. T'was a good ready, I think. People liked it and stuff.