Still Real To Me, Dammit!
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Next Door
Re: Extreme Wrestling Alliance
The show opens up with the green pyrotechnics begin bursting from the stage and the crowd is going wild. The lights dim and a sudden silence lurks amongst the crowd.
"We're leaving together!"
The crowd has a sudden outburst of cheers as Europe's "The final Countdown"plays, the owner begins to walk down the ramp while waving to the crowd.
Stinson enters the ring and places himself on top of the turnbuckle, raising his fists in the air. He jumps down and is handed the microphone by one of the production team. He stands in awe of the cheer among him but soon places the microphone close to his mouth.
Barney (shouting): Welcome to the Extreme Wrestling Alliance! We're here to EXCITE YOU! To DELIGHT YOU and even TO FRIGHT YOU! So, can you take it?!
Crowd (Chanting): YES! YES!
Barney: You may all be thinking, what will happen tonight? Well, I'll tell you but first, ARE YOU READY?
Crowd (Chanting): YES! YES!
Barney: Tonight's main event will be for the E..W..A Championship! Featuring the one and only lawyer, the bringer of justice and pain, your EWA Champion, Paul!
The crowd's booing echoes throughout the arena. All of a sudden, Barney stopped in his tracks as "You're gonna pay" by Limp Bizkit begins to play. Paul comes out mouthing people to shut up as he walks along. Entering the ring, the lawyer snatches the Microphone off of Barney.
Paul: You really want these hicks you consider fans to witness the one, the only Paul in the ring? They don't deserve the gift of me, this company is lucky to have me on board, the opponent for tonight is lucky to even watch me in the ring.
Barney speaks to another member of the production team for the new microphone and looks Paul in the eye.
Barney: Well Paul, I was going to give you just a normal match but your sudden outburst doesn't help your chances so you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to change your match, to a hardcore match.
Paul: Against who?
Barney: I'm glad you asked, the man I'm about to put you up against is big, is a demon and will hopefully slaughter you right on the spot. Your opponent is the Demon of Destruction, The Angel of Impending Doom and is Azza Seraph!
The crowd cheers after hearing the man's name, Paul is shocked and leaves the ring in a fit of rage. Barney, grinning is soon to follow.
One Many Army - Our Lady Peace
Segment 1 - Jesus Christ VS The Joker
Announcer: TheFollowing Contest Is Scheduled For One-Fall!
Making his way to the ring; from the heavens and beyond!
Weighing 210 pounds!
The Savior, Jesus Christ!
Jesus bursts out on stage appearing through a fog of smoke as "Amazing Grace" by Improvisation is playing. He slowly walks down the ramp as everybody cheers his name. Stopping at the ramp, he slowly dissolves into the ground only to reappear inside the ring. The crowd's amazed and are cheering the Savior as white fog appears around the ring.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Gotham City!
Weighing 219 pounts!
"Ain't no grave" by Johnny Cash begins to play as Joker walks out to the ring with a burlap sack hanging over his shoulder, the fans left in wonder about what's inside the sack. Entering the ring, the Joker left his sack at the side and entered the ring. Inside the ring, the Joker slides his thumb firmly around his face and across his scars, the music soon ended and quickly before the Ref rang the bell, Joker clapped his hands and flicked cards in the face of Jesus while laughing.
The Ref signalled the man to ring the bell, and then the match begun. Joker deals the first punch, continuosly laying his fist to the face of Jesus, luring him to the turnbuckle. One last punch he goes for but Jesus is quick to counter, ducking under the arm and turns his opponent around to delivers a devestating DDT. Joker is on his back, Jesus grabs Joker by his legs and hooks both feet. Jesus grabs them and flings Joker's body into the corner. Jesus bends his knees as the Joker rebounds and falls backwards. The Joker lands with a small portion of his back on Jesus' knees. Jesus goes for the pin. 1.. Joker kicks out on the one count. Jesus is aggitated and picks up Joker with force.
Jesus irish-whips Joker into the turn-buckle and runs at the Clown, but Joker is quick to counter, flipping himself up to the top so that Jesus runs into the turnbuckle and he's given a clear shot. Jesus stumbles backward and Joker is quick to utilize this advantage, he leaps down at Jesus. They're both on the ground but Joker gets up and stumbles back and fourth knocking down the ref. He grins and quickly runs out of the ring and grabs a chair. Joker places himself back inside and continues to hit Jesus with it. The Ref is starting to regain conciousness, Joker notices it and throws the chair out the ring. He attempts to pin Jesus, 1...2... But no! Jesus kicks out.
Joker brings Jesus to his feet and attempts the "Scar"lett Powerdriver but Jesus is quick to reverse it, and instead irish whips Joker into one end of the ropes while he jumps on top of the other end. He flips himself backwards and DDT's Joker in mid-air. He looks down at his fallen opponent and begins to hype up the crowd.
CROWD: Jesus Christ! *clap* *clap*
They continue to chant it. Jesus goes into the ropes and back, jumps over Joker and goes into it again and this time flips forward at the Joker. The impact is heard throughout the crowd as they continue to cheer. Jesus goes for the pin. 1...2... thr- No! Joker gets out of the pin. Jesus is astonished. He picks up Joker but before he can do anything Joker and Jesus continue to punch each other, Joker comes out on top and irish whips Jesus into the ropes but it's all for nothing as Jesus pushes himself to the top, he leaps backwards, driving his shoulder into the Joker's chest. He goes for the pin. 1...2...3! The bell rings and Jesus is declared the winner.
Jesus cheers as the crowd goes nuts over the win. Joker rolls out of the ring and grabs something from the sack, a barbed wire on a stick? He goes inside the ring and, while Jesus is on the turnbuckle, Joker slams it into Jesus' sides. Putting him down on the ground, Joker begins to scream (without the help of a microphone).
Joker: YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS?
He looks at the Barbed Wire on a Stick and leaves the ring with a grin on his face. Jesus is escorted out of the ring by a member of EWA's Medical Staff.
James Teller - Duke Nukem Confrontation
James Teller is getting ready for his upcoming match against Jeff Teller for the European Champion but is interrupted by Duke Nukem.
James Teller: Nukem, what brings you here?
Duke Nukem: Nothing, just passing through.
James Teller: Get out of here, this is a place for champions, not low-life rejects like yourself.
Duke Nukem: Reject? Please, you're the one holding a reject's title. I'd rather have my throat slit than hold that championship. The only sexual attraction you'll get from that title is the complete opposite of chicks. If you'll excuse me now, I've got a number one contender's match with Chuck Norris against IT and Yeti Man later, REAL wrestlers, not a crappy "cruiserweight" like yourself James.
Duke Nukem pushes his shoulder into James' as he walks away.
Announcer: The Following Contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Making his way to the ring, from Manchester England.
Weighing 200 pounds.
Your European Champion!
The "Sexual Tiger", James Teller!
"Blow Me Away" by Breaking Benjamin begins to play and out comes James Teller. He faces behind the crowd and flips backwards as red pyro explodes from the stage. He faces the crowd as they boo James Teller. He runs down the revamp and leaps over the rope. James Teller then remains in the ring.
Announcer: And his Opponent, from Manchester England
Weighing 212 pounds.
"Man In The Box" begins to play and Jeff emerges from the crowd, high-fiving everyone in his way. The crowd is going nuts for Jeff Teller and soon he jumps over barricade and enters the ring. He stares at Teller and points towards the title.
Jeff: It will be mine.
The Ref signals for the bell and the match begins, it starts off with James and Jeff grappling each other, Jeff is soon to capatilize, getting James in a headlock. Lifting James off his feet, Jeff delivers a devestating Suplex. The two got back to their feet and Jeff continued to pummel James, driving him into the turnbuckle to attempt the JeffTon Drive but James counters it quickly and rolls back. Jeff turns around only to find James' foot connect to the chest. He attempts to pin Jeff. 1..2...! Jeff kicks out.
James waits patiently for his opponent to get his knees, as soon as he does, James swoops in and flips over Jeffrey's head, gripping it as he does and driving it into the knees of his opponent. James continues to kick his grounded opponent, until the Ref breaks it up. James gets to ground and places his arm around the neck of Jeff. Struggling to get out of the submission hold, Jeff is trying to pull along the ground but James is relentless in his attempt to stop his brother from winning the match but Jeff begins to get to his feet with James on his back. Jeff throws James and himself down to the ground. James stirring on the ground in pain, Jeff attempts to pin the champion. 1..2..thre- no! Count out by the champion, the stadium roaring with boo's.
Jeff picks up James and irish-whips him into the turnbuckle and does a run up drop-kick. James stirs in the corner as Jeff intends to close this match with the JeffTon Drive. He charges at the champion but once again, James counters and pushes Jeff down to the ground and jumps to the top of the turnbuckle. He gets on both feet and screams.
James Teller: RIBBIT!
James Teller leaps down and performs the Five-Star Frog Splash. He goes for the pin. 1..2..3! The match is over and the Ref gives James his championship and raises his hand.
The Camera cuts to Lauren Prince, an interviewer who meets up with James Teller right after the match.
Lauren: James Teller, being the European Champion, what qualities does it take?
James: It obviously takes skill which is obviously why I'm Champion.
Lauren: When it looked like Jeff had you beat, you pulled out the win, how?
James: Let's face it, Jeff isn't a good wrestler, he pulls off good moves but when it looks like he's obtained a fairly good lead over his opponent, he loses it too easily. He's my brother, sure, I love him and all but that would never stop me from kicking HIS ass, in that ring at any moment.
Lauren: Recently, we've noticed alot of tension going on in the back with you and Duke Nuke--
James: Stop right there, Duke is a great wrestler, but I'm better. I AM Better.
James leaves Lauren and returns to his locker-room backstage.
Announcer: The Following Is An Elimination Tag-Team Number One Contenders Match! The Winners Will Go On To Face Each Other Next Week!
Making their way to the ring.
Weighing a combined weight of 610 pounds.
Chuck Norris and Duke Nukem.
MegaDeath's "Duke Nukem Theme" begins to play and out of nowhere comes Duke Nukem rolling up to the ringside in a flaming red motorcycle but Chuck Norris is nowhere to be seen. Nukem enters the ring and lifts his hand as the crowd cheers for the popular wrestler but still, no Chuck Norris in sight.
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, do to some unforeseen circumstances, Chuck Norris cannot participate so it has turned into a Handicap match.
Announcer: And, his opponent, with a combined weight of 723 pounds.
Pennywise the Clown and Yeti Man.
Yeti Man and IT enter the stage, the stage begins to fog up with smoke, the two walk down the ramp and eventually makes it to the ring. They look at the crowd.
IT starts the match with Duke Nukem as the ref calls for the bell and we are under way. Nukem takes advantage of IT as he shows some moves we're not used to seeing Duke use. But out of proper desperation, Nukem does all he can to prove that he indeed is worthy to be champion once more. Nukem connects with a big back drop and quickly goes for the pin only to get a 2 count. Nukem whips IT to the corner and charges at him but receives a boot to the face for his efforts. This is where IT finally gets the upperhand on Nukem. IT connects with rights and lefts combo as he backs down Nukem to the corner where his partner, Yeti Man awaits. Tag is made and Yeti Man unleashes some kicks to the thighs of Nukem, causing Nukem to have a seat on the turnbuckle. Yeti Man picks up Nukem and plants him atop the ring ropes and tags in IT as the champs deliver a combo. IT slams Nukem to the mat and then delivers an elbow. IT goes for the pin and gets a near fall.
Duke is still getting manhandled by the tag team. IT whips Nukem to his corner and charges at him but Nukem dodges as he gets rid of Yeti Man with a punch that sends the Yeti flying. Nukem then gets the momentum back with back-to-back shoulder blocks followed by an inside-out powerbomb. Nukem signals for the Nuclear Warhead and hits it on IT. Nukem then gets ready for a submission but IT holds onto the ropes but Nukem flips him over the ropes unto his partner Yeti Man. Duke brings IT back in but this time applies the NukeLock. But Yeti Man makes the save before IT can tap out. The two then maul Nukem in the corner. Yeti Man brings a chair in the ring. But the referee gets rid of it, while the ref gets rid of it, Ian Hecox makes his way down the ring and pummels Nukem. However, the referee sees this and calls for the bell.
Announcer: Due to interference from the outside, the winner and new #1 Contender for the EWA Championship next week is Duke Nukem!
Announcer: Now, inside the ring is Ronald McDonald.
Ronald holds the mic up high and looks at the fans.
Ronald: I..AM..LOVIN' IT!
Ronald: I have not been in ALPHA for too long, I arrived, kicked ass and eventually joined the Ministry of Clowns. Simple? No! The ministry seems so little to all you so called "fans", the people who pay money that goes to us, and more importantly, me! You pay my rent and that's what I'm loving. I'm TAKING your money and the best part is, I'm loving it!
"Break the Silence" by Killswitch Engaged begins to play and out comes Eagle Eye who begins to stare at Ronald McDonald. The crowd is roaring and chanting.
Crowd (Chanting): Eagle! Eye! Eagle! Eye!
Eagle Eye holds the microphone closely.
Eagle Eye: These people are the fans, yes, they pay us, their money comes to us. That's no reason to mock them, though that's all you know how to do because you're used to mocking or, more specifically, being mocked.
Ronald: Please, you're just saying that because I've beaten you every single time with fought in this ring and next week I'll prove it. I'll do what I did last week and I'll keep doing what I plan to do next week.
Eagle Eye: Fine, I'll face you next week and I'll enjoy kicking... your... ass!
Eagle Eye drops the microphone and exits the stage.
Announcer: The following Main Event is a Hardcore Match and it is for the EWA Championship.
Approaching the ring, from Cambridge Massachusetts.
Weighing 287 pounds.
He is your EWA Champion, Paul!
Limp Bizkit's "You're Gonna Pay" begins to play and out comes Paul. The crowd is raging with boo's as he holds up his title to the "fans" and grins. He charges up the steps and paces himself outside the ropes. He bends the ropes up and down repeatedly and out comes pyro from the turnbuckle.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Parts Unknown.
Weighing 334 pounds.
The Angel of Impending Doom and the Green Demon, Azza Seraph!
Azza is nowhere in sight, the lighting is green and crowd is left in wonder about his whereabouts. The commentators are startled as he emerges from the announce table. He enters the ring and raises his hands up slowly, only to push them down and out of the corner comes the pyro.
The Match begins with Paul dominating, one punch to the jaw, another to the abdomen. Paul attempts to run at the Demon, but Seraph is quick to counter and instead sweeps Paul off his feet and twirls him around and delivers a back-breaker. Seraph throws Paul across the ring, Paul gets to his feet and lays a devastating blow to Seraph's chest. Paul quickly delivers a DDT and rolls outside the ring and searches for a chair. Managing to find one underneath the ring, Paul re-enters the ring and wedges the chair in the turnbuckle. Picking up Azza, Paul lifts Seraph onto his shoulders and drives him into the wedged chair. Paul goes for the pin. 1...! Azza Seraph kicks out of the pin.
Paul pulls Azza Seraph to his feet and puts the Demon into a headlock. Seraph continuously punches at Paul's abdomen, he's quick to utilize this and then executes a Russian Leg Sweep. Seraph gets out of the ring and sets up a ladder by the barricade. Returning to the ring, he lifts Paul to his feet and grips his hands on the Lawyer's throat, but Paul reverses it and places the Demon's head right between his legs and swings him up above his shoulders. He throws the Demon right into the ladder and into the crowd. Azza Seraph begins to get to his feet, attempting to climb over the barricade, he is stopped by Paul as he jumps over the rope and into Seraph. Paul flips Seraph over the barricade and throws him into the ring. Paul goes for the pin. 1...2...thr- No! Seraph is relentless in his desire to win the match.
Paul lures Azza Seraph to the turnbuckles, Paul charges at his cornered opponent Azza ducks the blow and places his whole hand on the throat of Paul. Paul is lifted off his feet by The Demon and is losing air fast, Seraph throws Paul out of the ring and through the announce table. Paul is seemingly unconscious but Seraph wants to make sure he doesn't recover, Seraph lifts Paul over his shoulders and drives the Lawyer into the concrete floor. Paul has blood spilling right down his face. Seraph pulls Paul to his feet and the two brawl into the ring. Seraph attempts to pin Paul. 1..2...thr- Paul manages to turn it into a pin of his own! 1...2...3! The bell rings and Paul is left as the winner.
Paul grabs the microphone and begins to speak.
Paul: I am the EWA Champion. I just made my mark on the first televised version of ALPHA, though, you hicks have not made it easy to make my mark but here's something that you bunch of morons didn't realize. I am the best at what I do! I've taken out Eagle Eye, IT, Duke Nukem, Azza Seraph and, last but not least, Altai--
Paul is interrupted by lightning striking the turnbuckle and the arena becoming pitch black. When it lit up, a legend had returned, finding his way behind the man that had put him out a year ago. There Altair stood, behind Paul. Looking behind him, Paul was in shock and rolled out of the ring in fear. The crowd roared as the show has closed.
Notes: First BETA to air on the 12th January.
Match Cards, Logos ect.. to come once 10 Posts Accumulated.
He liked Trains!