Still Real To Me, Dammit!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Journalist Hell
Re: WWE: Everyone's Clean Slate
Inside the Georgia Dome, we immediately see pyro flare across the stage. The camera cuts to the ring where Justin Roberts stands alone...
Justin Roberts: WELCOME to WRESTLEMANIA!
The crowd of approximately 27,500 WWE fans from around the world go wild.
Justin Roberts: I would like to announce that the WWE has been purchased by internet journalist and business mogul, Benny Leo. We all hope that the transition is a smooth one for the WWE Universe. And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the owner of the WWE...BENNY LEO!
A polite cheer from the audience breaks out, as "Start the Show" by JET blasts from the speakers. Benny waves at the fans as he approaches the ring. He slides in under the bottom rope, and sits down on a top turnbuckle.
Benny Leo: Thank you, Justin. As you fans know, management in the past has given unfair bias to other superstars. I feel that this is ridiculous. As owner of WWE and General Manager of Raw, I will give the fans in Atlanta--and ALL OVER THE WORLD--what they want!
Cheap pop for the new owner.
Benny Leo: As for Smackdown, I'll put my friend, Ted Long in charge. But enough of me...LET'S GET TO THE FIRST MATCH!
Sin Cara emerged from backstage. After taking a few steps, he sprinted down the ramp and somersaulted himself over the top rope. At this time, Benny Leo scooted himself off the turnbuckle and offered fist bumps to both Sin Cara and Justin Roberts, both of which were accepted. He then left the ring and took a seat at the commentary booth with Michael Cole and Matt Striker, neither of which had gotten a chance to speak yet. The bell then rang.
Justin Roberts: The following contest, scheduled for one fall...is for the Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, already in the ring, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 175 pounds...Sin Cara!
Michael Cole: We welcome you to Wrestlemania 27, live in Atlanta, Georgia! Alongside Matt Striker and Benny Leo, I am Michael Cole, and IT IS ELECTRIC here in the Georgia Dome! The big news, however, is Benny Leo's purchase of WWE, and because of which, tonight, all-new champions will be crowned! I can't wait!
Matt Striker: I can't wait either, Cole! Our first match is an Intercontinental Title Match featuring Sin Cara! This is gonna be great!
*Written In My Face*
Boos immediately rang out in the arena, as Sheamus pounded his chest and approached the ring.
Justin Roberts: And his opponent, from Dublin, Ireland, weighing in at 272 pounds...the Celtic Warrior...Sheamus!
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH
Sin Cara vs Sheamus
The match began with a flurry of kicks from Sin Cara. He kept his distance from Sheamus in the early going, trying to work the game in the air. Sin Cara grounded Sheamus to a kneeling position. He bounced off the ropes and launched a dropkick into the temple of Sheamus, who rolled onto the apron. As Sheamus attempted to rise to his feet, Sin Cara hit a spinning heel kick into the skull of Sheamus, who immediately hit the deck, falling to the arena floor. Sin Cara pointed to the fans in attendance, then dove through the ropes onto the staggering Sheamus. Sin Cara got back in the ring and jumped up on the turnbuckle. Before he could turn it into an attack, however, Sheamus climbed the steel steps and clotheslined Sin Cara onto the canvas. Sheamus wasted no time getting into the ring and making the cover, as the ref counted...
Sin Cara got the shoulder up, but couldn't get to his feet before Sheamus kicked him square in the face. The ref attempted to break up the fight, but Sheamus got to his knees and wrapped his arms around Sin Cara's neck. The crowd went crazy, trying to put the energy in their hero: "Sin Ca-Ra! Sin Ca-Ra!" they chanted. After about 15 seconds of Sin Cara struggling to reach the ropes, he got on his feet, wrenched the arm of Sheamus out from under his chin, and stunned Sheamus with an impressive arm drag. Sin Cara quickly hooked the leg of Sheamus...
Sin Cara shook his head slightly, but picked Sheamus up. He took the opportunity to hit a knife-edge chop on Sheamus...then another one...then a third! Finally, Sin Cara whipped Sheamus into the turnbuckle. Sin Cara climbed the ropes, looking to score a quick victory...but Sheamus recovered, and had Sin Cara in a compromising position--set up for the High Cross! Sheamus lifted Sin Cara, stepped out to the center of the ring...but Sin Cara escaped and rolled up Sheamus!
Sheamus held his head in his hands, out of equal parts pain and shock. He clotheslined Sin Cara, who was still recovering from the kickout. He then started going to work on Sin Cara's legs, stomping on his shins. Matt Striker noted that this methodical approach would definitely affect Sin Cara throughout the remainder of this match, as he uses those legs for running, kicking, and climbing the turnbuckle. Meanwhile, Sheamus had grabbed Sin Cara's right leg in what appeared to be an ankle lock. Sin Cara quickly slithered to the ropes, however, breaking the hold, which Sheamus held to a count of three-and-a-half. As Sin Cara struggled to get to his feet, Sheamus grabbed Sin Cara's masked head and launched brutal blows on it. He irish whipped Sin Cara into the turnbuckle, and Sin Cara fell to the ground in agony. After Sheamus drew heat by taunting the crowd, he stomped Sin Cara's chest and left his foot on it to attempt a pinfall...
Sin Cara had pushed the mighty boot of Sheamus away and rolled to his feet. He bounced against the ropes and hit a well-executed hurricanrana which grounded Sheamus. As he got to his feet, Sin Cara hit yet another hurricanrana on Sheamus, dangling him on the second rope. He attempted a 619, a move fellow luchador Rey Mysterio was famous for, but Sheamus caught the kick and dragged Sin Cara in the ring. Sheamus went back to stomping the shins of Sin Cara, until he picked Sin Cara up and propped him on his shoulders. He took a step back and attempted the High Cross...but Sin Cara slipped off his shoulders and hits a backslide!
Sin Cara was quickly on his feet, however, and whipped Sheamus into the corner...he went for a clothesline...no! Sheamus hits a shoulder reversal. As Sin Cara staggered backwards, Sheamus went for the Broughe Kick...NO! Sin Cara ducked it, hit a spinning heel kick, and whipped Sheamus into the corner again, looking to end the match...he grabbed Sheamus's head...and Sheamus had Sin Cara in the air! He walked to the middle of the ring...and connected with the High Cross! He went for the pin...
WINNER and NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Sheamus
Michael Cole: WHAT A MATCH! And what a victory from Sheamus!
Benny Leo: ...I am stunned. I sure hope all of the matches tonight are that good! Speaking of good matchups, later tonight, we're going to have John Cena, CM Punk, and The Rock in a triple threat match for the WWE title! How awesome is that!
As Sheamus and Sin Cara limp out of the ring, the camera pans up to the Money in the Bank briefcase...
Matt Striker: But first, the Money in the Bank match! It's a 6-man ladder match, as the person who unhooks the briefcase will take it home!
Michael Cole: That's right Matt, and inside the Money in the Bank briefcase is a contract that can be cashed in at any time for a WWE or World Heavyweight Championship match. Remember that EVERY superstar who has cashed in the Money in the Bank contract has won the title.
Justin Roberts: The following contest is the MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH! Introducing first, from Marietta, Georgia, weighing in at 223 pounds..."Dashing" Cody Rhodes!
*Smoke and Mirrors*
Michael Cole: And here he is, the man whose looks have propelled him to the top of the WWE, "Dashing" Cody Rhodes!
Benny Leo: Well, I wouldn't say that he's at the top JUST yet...I mean, he hasn't won a major singles title ever since...well, ever.
Michael Cole: Look at him! His looks just scream success...
At this point, Rhodes grabs a microphone and enters the ring, drawing immediate heat.
Cody Rhodes: Look at yourselves. Look at each other. Look at your ugly faces. Look at your blatant lack of success...now look at me. Look at my accomplishments...I won the tag team titles with Ted DiBiase...but he was just another ugly person I couldn't stand. Now, I am the odds-on shoe-in guaranteed winner of the Money in the Bank ladder match. And after that...world...champion. But that just comes easy to me...because, unlike you moronic collections of scum, I am...dashing.
With that, Cody drops the mic and kicks it out of the ring. He tilts his head up and to the side, drawing heat as he lets the crowd admire his face.
Justin Roberts: And his opponent, from Ghana, West Africa, weighing in at 221 pounds...Kofi Kingston!
The pyro lit up, as Kofi clapped along with the audience. The pop quickly turned into heat, however, as *Perfection* blared over the PA.
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, from Hollywood, Florida, weighing in at 223 pounds...Dolph Ziggler!
Ziggler shakes his long, bleach-blond hair in the direction of a young fan in the first row. After shouting a few words, he makes his way to the ring.
Matt Striker: This is my favorite to win the Money in the Bank ladder match. Dolph Ziggler is aggresive, calculating, and eager to win. I think he has a great chance to take down the briefcase tonight.
*Bed of Nails*
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 199 pounds...Tyson Kidd!
Tyson adjusts his hair, gives a smug grin to the crowd, and struts down to the ring, receiving a mixed reaction.
Michael Cole: The last graduate of the Hart family Dungeon, Tyson Kidd is now looking to break out on his own, and if he wins tonight, that would put him a step in the right direction.
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, from Ayr, Scotland, weighing in at 18 stone, he is the Chosen One...Drew McIntyre!
Benny Leo: Now, I've talked to this guy in the back a little, and for some reason, he doesn't really like me. Or anyone. What's up with that?
Michael Cole: Well, if you stopped talking about yourself, you'd find out that him and I are pretty good friends! I talk to him all the time, and HE'S much nicer than YOU, Benji!
Benny Leo: You do not call me Benji. My name, as far as you're concerned, is BOSS. Got that, Mikey?
Michael Cole: Uhh, well, uh...yes...boss.
*Say It To My Face*
The roof nearly blew off as Alex Riley entered the arena. While Cole complained about Alex Riley being a 'defector' to his mentors, A-Ry walked to the ring.
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, from Washington, DC, weighing in at 251 pounds...Alex Riley!
MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
"Dashing" Cody Rhodes vs Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler vs Tyson Kidd vs Drew McIntyre vs Alex Riley
As soon as the bell rings, pandemonium erupts in the ring. Ziggler and Kofi get in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. A-Ry and Tyson Kidd exchange blows. McIntyre goes for a ladder immediately, and Cody leaves the ring to let the other competitors fight for a bit. Ziggler lifts Kofi high above his head, as Drew pushes the ladder into the ring. Ziggler sees the opportunity and slams Kofi right down on the ladder for the first weapon shot of the night. Tyson Kidd puts A-Ry in a headlock while striking his head repeatedly. Tyson runs up the turnbuckle and slams A-Ry's head in a huge bulldog. But Kofi, who got up, spins Tyson around and hits the monkey flip! Meanwhile, Cody gets in the ring, grabs Kofi's head, and sends him down for the Cross Rhodes! But Cody turns around and Drew McIntyre has his head! Future Shock DDT! But A-Ry's right behind him! Big Boot from A-Ry!
A-Ry sets up a ladder in the middle of the ring, and both A-Ry and Tyson climb it. After exchanging blows, Tyson Kidd attempts a head kick...and hits! A-Ry falls off the ladder and hits the ground with a thud. Tyson stretches, reaches to get the briefcase...has his fingertips on it...and falls! It was Ziggler, who was watching the commotion from afar. After pulling Kidd off the ladder, he climbs the rungs to get the case. He's on the top step...almost has the briefcase...A-Ry pushes the ladder down! Ziggler is unconscious! A huge cheer for the Varsity Villan! But behind A-Ry...Tyson with another head kick! A-Ry is out cold! Tyson looks at the ladder, but rolls out of the ring...he tears apart the Spanish announce table! He gets back in the ring and rolls A-Ry out of it! Tyson climbs the turnbuckle...kick to the back of the head...by Kofi! Tyson falls to the arena floor! Kofi looks at A-Ry...props himself up...Zig-Zag from Ziggler! Kofi's out! Ziggler races up the turnbuckle...jumps off--NO! Tyson pushes him into the table...A-Ry rolls away! Ziggler goes through the table! In the ring--CODY has a ladder! He's climbing! He has it--No! Drew pushes the ladder down! It bounces off the ropes, back up...in perfect position to climb! Drew is climbing...so is Tyson Kidd! Tyson goes for the head kick...Drew catches it and throws Tyson down! Back to the case...Drew has the hook! But A-Ry is behind him! He pushes Drew off! He climbs the ladder...Ziggler's right there, on the other side of the ladder! Everyone else is out...it's down to these two...Punch from Dolph! Punch from A-Ry! Ziggler has a headlock...but A-Ry has Ziggler up! A-RY THROWS ZIGGLER OFF THE LADDER! He reaches...grabs the hook...and unhooks the briefcase! A-RY WINS! THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!
WINNER and MR. MONEY IN THE BANK: Alex Riley
Alex Riley races out of the ring and high-fives all of the kids in the front row. Seeing the carnage lying around the ring, A-Ry walks up the ramp and heads backstage. As the trainers check up on the remaining superstars, Dolph Ziggler screams, asks for a microphone, and addresses the WWE Universe.
Dolph Ziggler: I cannot BELIEVE THIS! I was so close...right there...my hands on the briefcase...and YOU PEOPLE went against me! You BETRAYED me! Money in the Bank was MINE! But you know what? I'm done with you! I'm done with every single one of you! I'm done changing myself to appeal to you people! From now on, it's all about ME, because I AM PERFECTION! This bleach-blond cartoon character is gone. No more Dolph Ziggler...from now on, I will be referred to as NICK NEMETH!
Michael Cole: FINALLY, someone who GETS IT! Zigg--Nemeth is EXACTLY right! All of the kids watching at home...BE YOURSELF!
Benny Leo: Well, I kind of think you missed the part where he said that he was 'perfection'...
Michael Cole: He IS PERFECTION! He is Dol--NICK NEMETH!
Matt Striker: I have to agree with Cole, because Dol--Nick Nemeth has done so much while struggling to maintain his image. Now he is free, left to his own devices, and this has to make him a force to be reckoned with.
Benny Leo: Alright, 'Teach'...I'll let you think that.
Matt Striker: Well, he is a former world champion, mind you--
Benny Leo: ...thanks to Vickie Guerrero, and she's unemployed right now. NOW what does Nemeth do?
Michael Cole: Dol--Nick doesn't need Vickie! HE IS PERFECTION!
Benny Leo: Let's see how perfect he is on RAW tomorrow, and then we can talk.
*Bourne to Win*
Justin Roberts: The following contest, scheduled for one fall... is for the wrestlingforum.com Championship! Introducing first, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighi--
Roberts is cut off by a SMACK of skin and steel. The camera cuts to the ramp, where Zack Ryder has a steel pipe! Evan Bourne has fallen to the ground and is writhing in pain. Zack Ryder throws up the 'LI' hand signal and smacks Evan with the pipe one...two...three...four...five...six more times! He points to the 'Wrestlemania' sign in the rafters and drags Evan into the ring.
Evan Bourne vs Zack Ryder
In what was the shortest Wrestlemania match in history, Zack Ryder put his foot on Evan's chest and threw up the 'LI' hands...
WINNER and NEW WERSTLINGFORUM.COM CHAMPION: Zack Ryder
Matt Striker: What a dominant performance from Ryder! A beautifully executed attack from behind, and then Ryder drags Evan in the ring to get the win! Congratulations Zack Ryder!
Benny Leo: In other news, tonight, the Undertaker will fight for the World Heavyweight Title against Randy Orton!
After a "Do not try this at home" warning from the likes of John Cena and Randy Orton, we return to see Jimmy and Jey Uso in the ring, preparing for their match. Justin Roberts has already introduced them. After a moment of silence...
ARE YOU READY?
The thousands in attendance go insane as Triple H and Shawn Michaels make their way down to the ring.
Justin Roberts: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 480 pounds..."The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, "The Game" Triple H...D-Generation X!
Triple H and Shawn Michaels crotch-chop their way into the ring, get Atlanta ready to suck it, and the match begins.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
The Usos vs D-Generation X
Jey Uso and Shawn Michaels begin the match. They start with a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Jey gets Shawn in a headlock, bounces against the ropes, and gets a quick bulldog. Jey bounces off the ropes again, and as Shawn gets up, Jey hits a huge shoulder block. Jey drops to the ground and smacks around Shawn with a series of high-impact punches. He took a few steps back and kicked Shawn square in the face. Going for the cover--
Jey dragged Shawn over to the Usos' corner, made the tag to Jimmy, and held Shawn in place as Jimmy jumped off the top rope and hit the double axehandle! He went for the cover...
Jimmy whipped Shawn into the corner...looking for a butt bump--NO! Shawn rolls away, and as Jimmy is recovering, Shawn throws him into the turnbuckle! Jimmy falls, and Shawn goes for the cover...
Shawn immediately goes back to work with a punch to the head, then another, then a kick to the gut, and a bounce off the ropes--dropkick! Shawn grabs the legs and locks in a figure-four leg lock! Jimmy was in trouble...reaching...stretching...can't get to the ropes...still holding on...now he gets the ropes! Shawn unlocks Jimmy...backhand chop! Shawn whips Jimmy into the corner, and a tag to HHH! Triple H in the ring, Michaels on the top rope...spine buster from Triple H, and a DIVING ELBOW DROP from Shawn Michaels! HHH in the cover...
Trips started to taunt Jimmy Uso...drawing attention to himself...and the ref is down! It's CM Punk! He attacked the ref! Now David Otunga has Shawn Michaels, and McGillicutty has knocked down The Game! It's an attack from The New Nexus!
THIS MATCH ENDS IN A: No Contest
Otunga throws HBK into the ring, where he receives a gut kick from CM Punk...on his shoulders...GTS! Now Punk grabs Triple H's arm...and the Anaconda Vise is locked in! After at least 4 minutes of excruciating pain, Punk lets go. The Usos, who have not been attacked, are stunned silent, along with the commentators and the entire WWE Universe. Punk raises his arms, along with the rest of Nexus. After the attack, Punk grabs a mic.
CM Punk: Listen up, you mindless, soulless degenerates. That's right, you are all degenerates, just like your 'heroes,' DX. Do you people even know what a hero is? A hero is a man who you can look up to...a savior. Just like me. I am the only Straight Edge world champion. I am drug-free, alcohol-free, and better than each and every one of you. Now, let's get to the match everybody really wants to see...the one where I prove that Straight Edge will save all of you! Now introduce me, Roberts!
Justin Roberts: The f...f...following contest...scheduled for one fall...is for the WWE Championship! Introducing first...already in the ring and accompanied by the New Nexus, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 222 pounds... C! M! Punk!
Benny Leo: ...what the HELL was that about?
Matt Striker: WELL, considering that you didn't give the New Nexus a Tag Team Title shot,I'd say that that was a well-deserved attack.
Benny Leo: OK, let's say you're right, I am an idiot. What does CM Punk need to attack DX for?
Matt Striker: That I don't know, Benny. Could CM Punk be leading a rebellion?
"IF YA SA-MELL..."
Justin Roberts: And his opponent, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 260 pounds...The ROCK!
Michael Cole, completely oblivious to the attack, continues on commentary...
Michael Cole: IT IS ELECTRIC here in Atlanta! THE ROCK is back! He's in the ring now! This is amazing!
*My Time Is Now*
In a mixed reaction, the crowd isn't sure whether to cheer or boo Cena. After Cena's entrance, the match begins.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT
CM Punk vs The Rock vs John Cena
An intense staredown between the three competitors ensues. Cena goes on offense first, taking down Rock with a series of blows. Punk quicky followed suit in attacking Rock. Rock is kicked all the way into a seated position in the corner, where Cena hits a knee to Rock's temple. The crowd remains 50/50 on cheering and booing Cena. As Cena turns around to set up another attack, Punk connects with a kick to the gut of Cena, and then hits a huge bulldog! As Punk turns his attentions to Rock, Rock springs up and launches blow after blow on Punk! Punk falls to the ground as Rock stomps on Punk one, two, three, four times to the body, and hooks a leg!
Two--save by Cena!
After he pushes Rock off Punk, Cena goes to work. He stomps on Punk in much the same way Rock did. As Rock gets up, he focuses on Punk! Cena and Rock circle Punk and stomp him on every limb of his body. Punk is down in a prone position. As Cena climbs the turnbuckle...looking for a leg drop, Rock makes the cover!
The crowd cheers Rock outsmarting Cena, but Cena is angry. He drops from the turnbuckle and launches a vicious series of blows to Rock's head. Rock begins to fight back, as the WWE Universe cheers Rock's blows and boos Cena's shots. Finally, Cena is knocked down into the corner...Rock is turned around--gut kick from Punk! On his shoulders now, but Rock slips off! Rock has Punk's neck, goes for the Rock Bottom--kick to the back of Rock by Cena! Rock is on one knee! Cena picks up Rock--gut kick from Punk! Rock slips off Cena's shoulders, and a gut kick to Rock! On Punk's shoulders now--GTS CONNECTS! Rock is down! But Cena is up, and he throws Punk out of the ring! Cover on Rock!
Cena is screaming at the ref, holding up three fingers, but the ref shakes his head. He stomps Rock in the face. The WWE Universe begins to turn their back on Cena, as Cena puts his hand in the air..."You Can't See Me" right to the camera...Punk is in the ring! Cena bounces off the ropes, right into Punk's hands! GTS HITS! Punk in control! He covers Cena--
Now it's Punk's turn to shake his head in disbelief. He steps out of the ring to talk with Otunga and McGillicutty. After conversing momentarily with his troops, Punk looks under the ring...he has a steel chair! He's looking to end the match right now! He's in the ring, putting the chair right under Rock's face! He climbs the turnbuckle...he jumps...ROCK ROLLS AWAY! Punk jumps right on the chair! He falls to the canvas, clutching his legs. As he gets up, ROCK HAS HIS NECK! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE CHAIR! And Rock is gazing in the distance...he removes his elbow pad! He's got the look in his eyes...runs right into Cena! Cena has Rock! F-U right on the chair as Punk rolls away! Cena into the cover on Rock!
Cena is ready to go home, right now. He turns Rock over, steps over, and has the facelock in! STFU! Rock is in the center of the ring! Nowhere to go! Rock tries to get Cena off of him..he stretches, reaches for the ropes, trying hard...and Punk has Cena! Punk throws Cena out of the ring! Punk has Rock's head...locks in the ANACONDA VISE! Rock can't get away! He's screaming! Trying to get to the ropes...ROCK TAPS! ROCK TAPS! PUNK WINS!
WINNER and NEW WWE CHAMPION: CM Punk
Michael Cole: MY GOODNESS! WHAT A VICTORY FOR PUNK!
Punk celebrates with New Nexus, but the celebration is cut short. On the TitanTron, we cut to the backstage area, where the Undertaker is beaten and unconscious on the ground. The camera pans up to see a man holding a steel chair...it's Randy Orton! With a sick smile, he turns to the camera...
Randy Orton: Undertaker...you won't get to extend the streak tonight. Tonight isn't about you. Tonight is all about me. The REAL phenom in the WWE. The Viper, Randy Orton. And, as for you...you people...this show is OVER. Now GET OUT!
END OF SHOW
Marking AGAINST The Rock and Randy Orton