~Monday Night Raw~
January 1st, 2007
"It's all about the monaayy..."
Before the usual opening video and pyro display, we open the show out in the parking lot, were we see a long, black limousine pull up outside the arena. With the windows tinted, it's impossible to see who is inside. Slowly, the driver's door opens and out steps the chauffeur. He calmly makes his way to the passenger door, opens it, and after a long pause... out steps Mr. McMahon! A barrage of heat can be heard from inside the arena, but McMahon merely takes a deep breath and smiles, casually adjusting his tie before arrogantly strutting past the camera and into the arena as the camera cuts away.
We now see the usual opening video, and it's quickly inside the arena, but tonight there is no pyro display. Instead...
*NO CHANCE IN HELL...*
The Chairman of the Board enters the arena, strutting his way down the ramp to the ring...
The WWE is kicking of 2007 in familiar fashion folks. Hello everyone and welcome to Monday Night Raw, we are happy to be with you live on New Year's Day! I'm good ol' J.R., Jim Ross, alongside me at ringside as always is Jerry 'The King' Lawler, and King, this is the first time we've seen Vince McMahon in over four months.
Absolutely right, and the question is, what is Mr. McMahon doing here tonight? The last time we saw Mr. McMahon was way back at Unforgiven, and after what DX did that night, I didn't think we'd ever see Vince again!
I don't think that man was ever not going to return to Monday Night Raw. There was too much pride at stake for him to stay away forever, despite many people wishing he had.
Speak for yourself there J.R. Some of us missed Mr. McMahon while he was gone...
You're in the minority there King. Later tonight folks, the WWE Championship is on the line as John Cena defends the gold against Johnny Nitro, who will have Kevin Federline in his corner.
Boy I can't wait for that match. I hope John Cena gets his hands on K-Fed at some point during. There’s a guy who deserves a slap across the face!
Also tonight, Shawn Michaels and Edge go one-on-one, but it seems we're kicking off 2007 with the chairman of the board...
Mr. McMahon enters the ring and is handed a microphone from Lillian Garcia, before positioning himself in the middle of the ring, waiting for his music to die down. When it does though, the crowd responds with another chorus of boos...
Alright, alright, that's enough...
Still the boos rain down, until...
More heat, but having waited long enough, Mr. McMahon begins to speak...
Now, I'm sure all of you are wondering just why I am here tonight. Well, let me assure all of you, it wasn't because I wanted to spend my New Years in this cesspit you people call Miami.
It's the cheapest of cheap heat, but it works as the crowd lets Vince have it, with McMahon smugly grinning back at them before continuing to speak...
Regardless of that, here I am in Miami. And the reason I'm here is that I want to remind you people of a few facts you may have forgotten over these last six months. Let me give you all a little history lesson. Let me take you all back... to June last year. More specifically, June 11, last year. That was the night that I
brought ECW back to the Hammerstein Ballroom, and I
brought ECW back to life.
The crowd responds with cheers before an "E-C-DUB" chant breaks out...
Yeah, yeah, you were all very happy to see ECW come back to life, alright. But you see, the only reason ECW was brought back... the only reason the name and the history and the legacy of ECW was brought back to life... was because quite frankly, I wanted to use it to make me some monaayy!
The crowd again boos as Vince stares into the camera while making the 'money' sign with his hands...
That's right, it was all about the monaayy! That's all it's ever been about with me. Oh sure, I gave you all your special ECW moment that night. Hell, I even brought ECW back to television! I gave all those ECW misfits their own damn
show! It may have been Paul Heyman who was running things, but let's make no mistake, it was my name on the pay-cheques.
More heat from the crowd, but Vince continues to grin as he pauses to soak up the boos...
And when Paul Heyman ran ECW into the ground... when Paul Heyman embarrassed himself with the way he controlled that ECW roster... and more importantly...
Vince quiets, being deadly serious...
When Paul Heyman stopped making me money... that's when, for the second time, I had to pull the plug on (sarcastically) "Eee-Cee-Dubya"
More jeers, as it's clear now this promo is turning into a McMahon ego boost...
You can boo all you want, but you people can't deny facts. I took ECW from a Philadelphia bingo-hall, and I put it in some of the biggest arenas in the world. For Paul Heyman, Sabu...
Quick cheer for the "suicidal maniac"...
Bigger cheer for the extreme beer-swiller...
For Tommy Dreamer...
Another solid cheer for the "innovator of violence"...
And especially for Rob Van Dam...
A huge pop for the former "Mr. Monday Night"...
It was never about (sarcastically) "being hardcore"
. It was never about crashing through tables, or poppin' a beer can on your head, it was never about that! The day they agreed to work for me... in my
version of ECW...
Again Vince pauses, staring deep into the camera...
It was all about the monaayy!
More heat, but Vince is on a roll now, and he quickly continues...
The day those gentlemen agreed to work for me, they literally sold their souls to the devil
! And that's something I want each and every one of you backstage in that Raw locker-room to remember. You people... work for me
. That's right. Take for example... the WWE Champion John Cena.
A mixed response from the crowd, with both cheers and boos for the champ...
He works... for me
. Or what about... D-Generation X?
Huge response for DX...
They work for me too! I'm Vince McMahon dammit! This (Vince frantically points all around the arena)
, I own all of this! These two fools (pointing at J.R. and King)
sat at ringside with the hat and the crown, I own them!
We cut to the image of the announce desk, where King looks concerned while J.R. can only shake his head in disgust...
Infact, let me ask you a question J.R. Ah, good ol' J.R.! You like a good laugh don't ya' Jim? You've had plenty of laughs at my expense over the years haven't ya'?
As the camera zooms in on J.R., he nods his head and offers a quick "yeah" in response...
All of you people... you've all had your share of fun at my expense over the years haven't you?
The crowd responds with a brief pop, but McMahon quickly follows with...
I bet you people all laughed real hard when DX shoved my head up The Big Show's ass all those months ago.
A huge pop from the crowd, with the memories quickly flooding back from Unforgiven '06...
Well... I didn't laugh. And if I didn't laugh... that means it wasn't funny. And the sooner you idiots here tonight, and all you idiots at home realise that, the better it'll be for everybody. I'm Vincent... Kennedy... McMahon... and I own... all of y-
*ONE OF A KIND...*
It's a near deafening response as Vince if finally interrupted, and Rob Van Dam steps out, doing his signature thumb movement and then making his way down to the ring...
Well thank God that's over with. Rob Van Dam, a free agent after ECW went off the air, is here on Raw!
Yeah but, what's he doing out here? Is Rob Van Dam a member of the Raw roster now?
Before J.R. can respond, RVD is handed a mic and he turns to face McMahon...
Rob Van Dam:
Y'know something Vince? I was sat there backstage, listenin' to you run your mouth... and I gotta tell ya... you were right.
Boos and a general feeling of confusion from the crowd, while Vince cracks a broad smile and nods in agreement with Van Dam...
Rob Van Dam:
(To the crowd) No, no, hear me out. Vince... you did
take ECW from a bingo-hall in Philadelphia to some of the biggest arenas in the world. You did
resurrect a legacy that me and so many others gave our blood, sweat and tears to build.
Vince continues to smile, nodding along as Van Dam speaks, even turning to the crowd as if to say "I told you so"...
Rob Van Dam:
But Vince... you did not
destroy that legacy.
Slight cheers from the crowd as the smile disappears from McMahon's face...
Rob Van Dam:
You may have taken ECW off the air last week... and even though tomorrow night, there will be no ECW... ECW lives on in all of these fans...
A strong "E-C-DUB" chant rings out, but Van Dam quickly cuts it off...
Rob Van Dam:
And it lives on through guys like me
A nice pop from the crowd, who quickly return to their "E-C-DUB" chant...
Rob Van Dam:
And Vince, since I'm still under contract to wrestle in this company... I figured I might as well keep the legacy of ECW alive each and every Monday night!
A massive pop from the crowd, with RVD confirming his signing with Monday Night Raw. Vince meanwhile has regained his composure...
JUST WHO THE HELL D'YOU THINK YOU ARE?! You don't come out here and interrupt me, you don't come out here and embarrass me like that!
Boos from the crowd as Vince looks set to go on a tirade...
when I took it off the air! The ECW Championship died
when Bobby Lashley beat The Big Show two weeks ago.
Brief pop for the mention of Lashley...
Yeah... yeah, you hear that Rob? Bobby Lashley... a guy who I
gave his big break to. A guy I
brought to the WWE. He's gonna go down in history as the last ECW Champion!
Slight boos, even though Lashley is a face...
Boy, that must just eat you up inside, huh? You must just hate that! The fact that it's a guy who's WWE through and through, a guy who's not about barbed wire baseball bats and flaming tables, a guy moulded in my own image... that's
who the last ever ECW Champion is. God that's gotta hurt!
Van Dam merely smirks, offering a slight nod in admittance that it did sting for him never to get a shot at Lashley and the title...
And you know what Rob? Don't for a second think that you'll be getting a shot at the WWE Championship anytime soon either. There's a lot of guys back there more worthy and more deserving of a title shot than you'll ever be!
McMahon now steps towards Van Dam, getting right in his face..
Now... get the hell outta my ring!
Huge hear from the audience, with Van Dam merely nodding, obviously McMahon's words earlier about signing the cheques sinking in. Van Dam turns to leave, and Vince smirks... until Van Dam strikes... JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK FLOORS MCMAHON!!
The roof nearly blows off the arena as Van Dam flattens the Chairman of the Board, before dragging him towards the corner, lining Vince up and then springing to the top rope... FIVE-STAR FROGSPLASH!!
Van Dam nails McMahon, and again the crowd goes wild... until a team of security guards sprint down to the ring! Van Dam quickly leaves the ring and leaps over the barricade, making a quick escape through the crowd, leaving Vince writhing in agony.
Rob Van Dam has just made an incredible return to Monday Night Raw!
But J.R., is he crazy? He just delivered a five-star frog splash to Mr. McMahon!
What a way to kick off 2007! Rob Van Dam just laid out the boss! Rob Van Dam is here on Monday Night Raw!
When we return, we see the tail-end of Chris Masters' intro, with 'The Masterpiece' already in the ring, taking of his robe and flexing for the crowd...
Welcome back everybody to Monday Night Raw. We're all set to kick things off with tag team action, and there you see 'The Masterpiece' Chris Masters, a young man who has developed quite the rivalry with Carlito in recent weeks.
Never mind that J.R.! I still
can't believe what Rob Van Dam did to poor Mr. McMahon. Do we have any word on Mr. McMahon yet? Do we know if he's alright?
I haven't heard any official word yet on Mr. McMahon's condition, (sarcastically)
but I'm sure he'll bounce back like he always does.
"YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME...
HEY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY..."
*BURN IN MY LIGHT (RATED-R REMIX)...*
There is a good amount of heat as the brash youngster Kenny Dykstra steps out, his membership of Rated-RKO now confirmed by him using their entrance theme...
And speaking of bouncing back, here comes a young man who has been hell-bent on taking his career to another level in recent weeks.
Well every since the Spirit Squad was sent packing, Kenny Dykstra has really been looking to make a name for himself, and who better for him to learn from than Edge and Randy Orton?
"I SPIT IN DA' FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO BE COOL..."
A nice pop from the crowd as Carlito enters the arena, the beautiful Torrie Wilson by his side...
Two weeks ago, Carlito and Chris Masters were set to go one-on-one live on Raw, but the match descended into a good ol' fashioned brawl.
Right and the week before that, Chris Masters locked Torrie Wilson into the Masterlock.
Thankfully Carlito made the save that night, but you gotta think Masters and Carlito are on a collision course to settle this thing once and for all.
And it's a massive pop for the Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, who plays up to the crowd and slaps hands as he makes his way down the ramp...
Two weeks ago, Jeff Hardy was yet another victim caught up in the path of destruction that is the 'Samoan Bulldozer' Umaga.
It was certainly quite the beating Jeff took that night from Umaga. Infact, I pretty sure Jeff is still feeling the effects of that night even now.
Match 1: Tag Team Match
Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy and Carlito w/ Torrie Wilson vs. Chris Masters and Kenny Dykstra
A fast-paced match to kick start the action, with much being made of the on-going rivalry between Masters and Carlito. Indeed, Carlito and Masters are set to start the match, only for Masters to duck out of things when the bell rings, quickly tagging in Dykstra. Carlito and Dykstra get the match underway, with Carlito taking his frustrations out on Kenny, gaining the early advantage for his team before tagging in Hardy. Jeff and Carlito trade tags, continuing to punish Dykstra, but as Carlito runs the ropes, Masters hits a cheap shot from the apron, and the distraction is enough for Dykstra to connect with a neckbreaker from behind. Masters is now more than happy to tag in, and he pummels Carlito with a series of fists and boots, before gaining a near fall from a delayed vertical suplex. Masters and Dykstra continue to exchange tags, wearing Carlito down, until Masters sends Carlito off the ropes into a bearhug. Masters wrenches on Carlito’s back, but crowd rallies behind the Caribbean superstar, and he manages to fight back, breaking the hold, dropping Masters with a springboard elbow before crawling to his corner and tagging in Jeff.
Hardy enters the ring with a diving clothesline, before knocking Masters and Dykstra down with a series of right hands, then nailing Kenny with a mule kick. Jeff goes for a cover, only for Masters to break it up, leading to Carlito clotheslining Masters over the top rope, with both men crashing to the floor. On the outside, Carlito and Masters begin to brawl, with their fight spilling up the ramp. In the ring, Jeff nails the twist of fate, but when he climbs to the top rope, Dykstra shoves the referee into the ropes, causing Hardy to fall to the mat! The ref admonishes Kenny, but the youngster moves quickly, rolling Jeff up... 1... 2... Kenny has his feet on the ropes... 3! Dykstra steals a win from Jeff Hardy!!
Winners: Kenny Dykstra and Chris Masters @ 07:15
Well, by hook or by crook, Kenny Dykstra has just pinned the Intercontinental Champion.
Be that as it may J.R., you have to think Kenny Dykstra has just put himself in the shop window for a future shot at Jeff Hardy with the Intercontinental Championship on the line.
Dykstra slowly backs his way up the ramp, a smug smirk on his face, and as Jeff slowly drags himself off the mat to his knees, the two lock eyes, with Dykstra motioning with his hands around his waist that he wants the title, following that by mouthing "I'm coming after you Jeff" as we cut backstage...
Where Todd Grisham is standing by...
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, he is the last-ever ECW Champion... Bobby Lashley!
Indeed Bobby Lashley steps into the shot, and noticeably he has the ECW Championship belt on his shoulder, despite ECW existing no more...
Bobby, I understand you requested this interview because you have an announcement you'd like to make?
That's right Todd. Well, I wanted this interview to announce that earlier today I signed a contract to join Monday Night Raw...
Lashley pauses as the crowd responds with a decent pop, welcoming Lashley to Monday nights...
But uh, it looks like Rob Van Dam kinda stole my thunder on that one.
A rueful smile crosses Lashley's face, as he rubs his chin and continues...
But enough about Rob Van Dam. I came to Monday Night Raw for one reason, to challenge for the WWE Championship. At December To Dismember, I won the ECW Championship inside the extreme elimination chamber. And now... I've got John Cena in my sights.
Cheers can be heard from inside the arena, with the crowd excited by the prospect of a Lashley/Cena showdown...
Now, I dunno how I'm gonna go about earning that opportunity. But I think the best place to start is at the Royal Rumble! So right now, I am...
Lashley stops dead in his tracks as an extremely groggy looking Mr. McMahon enters the shot, staggering towards Lashley, before stopping to stare at the ECW Champion with a look of disgust on his face...
Uh... uh... Mr. McMahon?
McMahon glances at Grisham, still looking pissed off, before ignoring the interviewer and returning his glare to Lashley...
What... is... (pointing at the ECW Title) that
... doing here?
Both Lashley and Grisham stare at the title belt, unsure what to say, with McMahon not giving them a chance to speak...
I don't want to see that title belt on my show ever again, you understand me Lashley? That piece of garbage NEVER
appears on my show again, you got that?
Lashley now steps towards Vince, over-shadowing McMahon, staring at him intently...
That piece of garbage is my
ECW Championship. And as the last ever ECW Champion...
Lashley pulls the belt off his shoulder, holding it in Vince's face...
I think I'll keep this belt with me a bit longer.
For the second time tonight, Vince is furious, but as he and Lashley lock eyes, it's Vince who backs down first, reluctantly walking away from the confrontation, with the camera focused on Lashley as we fade into a video...
Narrator: Every year, 30 men chase a dream...
Shots of historical Royal Rumble moments, starting with Shawn Michaels dumping The British Bulldog over the top rope and then collapsing to his knees in victory...
Narrator: 30 men who fight for greatness...
Triple H returning in 2002 and last eliminating Kurt Angle before celebrating in the ring...
Narrator: 30 men who strive for their spot...
Quick-fire shots of 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin's three Rumble wins, 1997, 1998 and 2001...
Narrator: In the annals of time.
We now see stadium-wide shots of past Wrestlemania's, with the flashing lights and pyro displays of yesteryear...
Narrator: They crave immortality...
We now see shots from last year's Royal Rumble, starting with Shane McMahon eliminating Shawn Michaels...
Narrator: They strive for prominence...
The iconic image of Rey Mysterio headscissoring Randy Orton over the top rope to claim victory...
Narrator: But only one...
Rapid-fire images of eliminations, with bodies crashing to the floor as the pace of the video quickens...
Narrator: Will fulfil their destiny.
"WWE ROYAL RUMBLE - JANUARY 28TH - LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!"
*End Video Package*
Back into the arena...
*ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA...*
The crowd gives a great response as 'Nature Boy' Ric Flair makes his entrance...
Well there he is folks: the 16-time Heavyweight Champion, who will no doubt be looking to roll back the years when the Royal Rumble rolls around.
And what a story that would be if Ric Flair could go on to headline Wrestlemania!
A fair amount of heat as Shelton Benjamin steps out, his tag team partner Charlie Haas at his side...
One of the finest pure athletes in the WWE, Shelton Benjamin, a young man who could be about set to finally live up to his potential.
And after having a rough few months, Shelton is back together with Charlie Haas. These two together are always a dangerous combination.
Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin w/ Charlie Haas
It’s a slow start to the match, with Benjamin using his superior athleticism to outmanoeuvre Flair in the early goings. Ever the crafty veteran, Flair gains the advantage with a thumb to the eye, before driving Benjamin to the corner with right hands, before unloading with those legendary chops, before connecting with an atomic drop and following up with a clothesline. Flair then grabs Shelton’s leg, motioning for the figure-four... only for Haas to drag Shelton out of the ring, and we go to commercial with Haas and Benjamin trying to regroup on the outside.
When we return, Shelton is now in control, and we see a replay of what happened during the commercial, which shows Haas getting up on the apron, and when Flair goes to confront him, Benjamin clubs Flair from behind and then connects with a German-suplex. Benjamin looks to wear Flair down with a series of stomps, before sending Flair to the corner and following in with a Stinger splash, gaining Shelton a near fall. The punishment continues, as Benjamin snaps of a northern lights suplex, but when he goes for a superkick, Flair catches the leg, sweeps the leg and goes for the figure-four... only for Shelton to again escape, kicking Flair to the corner.
Shelton goes for another splash, but this Flair avoids it, and he again unloads with chops, before sending Shelton off the ropes into a back-body-drop. More chops send Shelton down, and Flair scores a 2 count from an elbowdrop. Sensing things aren’t going their way, Hass again jumps onto the apron, distracting Flair... here comes Shelton... but Flair dodges the attack, seeing Benjamin run into Haas, sending Hass crashing to the floor. Dazed, Benjamin staggers... and Flair hits a low-blow!! The ref never saw it, and now Flair goes for the roll-up... 1... 2... 3! Hass dives into the ring, but it’s too late as Flair quickly rolls out of harm’s way, having his arm raised at the bottom of the ramp.
Winner: Ric Flair @ 09:22
The 'dirtiest player in the game' just took Shelton Benjamin to school!
And look at Benjamin and Haas in the ring. They're furious at what just happened!
Flair "wooooo's" his way back up the ramp, raising his hands in the air to cheers from the crowd, while back in the ring Benjamin still can't believe he lost that one, with Haas sharing his disbelief.
MARCH 29TH, 1987
In a legendary showdown, Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant square-off for the WWF Championship, with Hogan producing one of the most iconic moments in wrestling history by slamming Andre to the mat, following with the big legdrop for the 3 count!
WRESTLEMANIA XXIII - 91 DAYS AND COUNTING
*End Video Package*
We now go to the Rated-RKO dressing room, where Randy Orton and Edge are deep in talk when Kenny Dykstra enthusiastically enters the room...
Guys! Guys, did'ya see that earlier? I mean, I just pinned Jeff Hardy!
Orton and Edge both look to each other with apathetic looks on their faces...
Yeah, we saw it Kenny. (Sarcastically)
Way to go junior!
Listen Kenny, what you did earlier tonight... that was nothing. When we agreed to let you join Rated-RKO, we did it on the premise that at some point you'd actually impress us.
The disappointed look on Kenny's face can't be hidden, but Edge continues to run him down...
Yeah, I mean, anyone can pin Jeff Hardy. But tonight, I'm
gonna do something impressive. I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna pin Shawn Michaels.
And we're gonna prove to the world that once again DX are not in out league.
So uh... anytime you want to step up and prove to us that you're at our level... you just go ahead and do that.
Orton now steps towards Dykstra, speaking into his ear...
And tonight would be the perfect time to prove it to us.
A smirk flashes across Kenny's face, with the youngster fully understanding what his mentors expect of him tonight.
We cut to the interview set, where the chirpy Maria is ready...
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time... D-Generation X!!
A huge pop from inside the arena asTriple H and Shawn Michaels walk into the shot, 'The Game' with a stern look on his face while Michaels is all smiles...
And tonight, Shawn Michaels, you face Edge one-on-one. But two weeks ago, Edge and Randy Orton delivered con-chair-tos to both of you, leaving you laying in the ring. Shawn, are you physically ready for your match with Edge tonight?
Well first of all Maria, we just want to ask Miami, Florida a question...
Are you ready?
A huge response from the crowd can be heard...
I said Miami, Florida... ARE... YOU... READY?!
And it's an even bigger response this time around, with 'The Game' now grabbing the mic from Maria...
Then, for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching worldwide... lllllll-let's get ready to.... SUCK IT!!
Trips tosses the mic to Michaels, who looks straight down the lense...
And if you're not down with that... we got two words for ya'...
Now that's (thankfully ) out of the way, Michaels returns the mic to Maria and continues...
Now, as for what Edge and Randy Orton did two weeks ago. Well you know, I've took my share of chair shots to the head in my time. And I gotta tell ya', Edge, Orton... I'm starting to get real sick and tired of you two smashing my head in every week!
You see, Edge, Orton, you guys picked a fight with us a few weeks ago. And now... we're gonna settle it.
You two have been hiding behind those steel chairs for weeks now. But, seeing as it's a new year an' all... it's time for DX to take a new approach to how we handle you two. And that means...
The camera quickly turns to Triple H... WHO HAS THE SLEDGEHAMMER IN HIS HAND!!
We're gonna have to start toolin' ourselves up when we get in the ring with you guys!
Edge... Orton.... you two have no idea what we have in store for you two!
Michaels and Triple H stare deeply into the camera, before exiting in opposite directions, leaving a goofy looking Maria standing there as we fade into a commercial...
When we return, Val Venis is already in the ring, awaiting his opponent...
Welcome back to Monday Night Raw folks. Still to come tonight, Edge takes on Shawn Michaels and John Cena is set to defend the WWE Championship against Johnny Nitro, but as you can see, Val Venis is in the ring and ready for action.
Right and just who is Val gonna face tonight?
It's a collective gasp from the crowd as 'The Samoan Bulldozer' Umaga steps out, with Armando Alejandro Estrada as always by his side. In the ring, Val has a worried look on his face...
Well King, business has just picked up. Here comes the still 'undefeated' savage, Umaga!
Well I've been in the ring with that monster, and I wouldn't want to be in Val Venis' boots right now.
Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. Val Venis
Oh dear, poor Val. As the bell rings, Umaga is clearly in no mood to mess around, as he menacingly backs Val into the corner, before unloading with a series of stiff shots. Val does try to fight back, but Umaga is dominant, whipping Val across and charging in for an engulfing splash in the corner. Val slumps to the mat, his head rather conveniently perched on the bottom turnbuckle, allowing Umaga to line him up and nail the Samoan wrecking ball, causing Val’s neck to snap back. Val somehow drags himself to his feet, but Umaga is ready for him, hooking Val up and dropping him with the Samoan drop. Decimated, Val can barely stand as Umaga drags him to his feet... and mercifully ends it with a Samoan spike. 1... 2... 3. A dominant display from Umaga.
Winner: Umaga @ 02:12
An absolutely dominant display from Umaga.
Who's gonna stop this man J.R? I mean, can you imagine if Umaga enters the Royal Rumble?
With Umaga still standing over Val, Estrada steps through the ropes, microphone in hand, with Umaga intimidating the referee, not letting him help Val as Estrada speaks...
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Tudos... excussemay, haha! The Saaaaamoan Bulldozerrr... UMAGA... and me... we have how ju say... a message for all of ju.
Umaga has finally relented, allowing a pair of referees into the ring to help try Val back to his feet...
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Ju see... Umaga is still
un-de-feated on Raw! Haha! Umaga... he want... how ju say... competition. And to this... we
are entering the thirty man Royal Rumble! Haha!
Umaga continues to stare ominously at Val, who has been helped back to his knees, clutching his throat, with Estrada still looking into the camera...
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
But ju see... we don't want to just win the Royal Rumble. Todos... as of this moment... the ENTIRE WWE... ju are all on notice amigos! We want a challenge amigos... and no-one will stop the Saaaaamoan Bulldozerrr... from getting it! Haha!
The referees have finally helped Val back to his feet, with them slowly helping Val to the edge of the ring... only for Umaga to strike with a SAVATE KICK!! Boos ring out from the crowd, as once again Umaga leaves Val laying, with no response from J.R. and King as we silently go backstage.
Where we go to a dressing room, where sat on leather couches are Johnny Nitro, Melina and Kevin Federline are getting ready for tonight. It's obviously a smug, relaxed atmosphere in the room as Melina and K-Fed sip champagne, while Nitro arrogantly fixes his hair in a nearby mirror, with us joining Melina and K-Fed mid-conversation...
Oh my God, I cannot wait for tonight! I mean, first of all, Johnny is finally going to get what he deserves by becoming WWE Champion, and then when he's done with Cena, you K-Fed can step into the ring and pick John Cena apart! Oh it's gonna be great!!
Yeah I can't wait. I can't believe I'm gonna be in your corner Nitro to see you take down that punk Cena.
Happy with his hair, Nitro turns to grab a seat...
We got John Cena running scared guys! I mean, Cyber Sunday, when K-Fed nailed Cena with the belt, man that was beautiful! Hell, I don't even know if John Cena's gonna show up here tonight. They might have to give me the title by forfeit.
No, I don't want that Johnny. I want to see you hurt Cena. I want to see you punish him! And then I want K-Fed to embarrass him in the middle of the ring.
The three share a laugh, before Jonathan Coachman enters the room to a barrage of heat from the arena...
Hey! Melina, Nitro... K-Fed! Ma' boi! How's it going man?
Kevin Federline: (To Nitro and Melina)
Who's this guy?
Ah haha! Ah K-Fed, always a kidder! Anyway, Nitro, I want to make sure you're ready for tonight. I mean, it's new year's night, Mr. McMahon is back... what better way to kick off 2007 than with a new
Melina squeals with glee at the thought, while Nitro arrogantly strokes his chin...
Coach, you got nothing to worry about. I was born ready for tonight.
Oh I know, I know, I just wanted to make sure. But uh... y'know, I was listening to Mr. McMahon earlier tonight, and he was talking about how he was sick and tired of being embarrassed by people. Well, as I'm sure you both know... John Cena has embarrassed me a lot lately. Well tonight, it's time for me to get a little payback. And that's where you come in Johnny.
What do you mean?
Well Johnny... tonight is your lucky night. You see Johnny... tonight in your title match, there's going to be a special guest referee. And...
Wait for it...
It's gonna be me!
Melina gasps in delight, while a broad smile crosses Nitro's face...
So eh, I'll see you all out there. Good luck Johnny.
Coach turns to leave, while Melina can't wipe the smile off her face, and K-Fed tries to look like he has a clue as to what's going on.
We quickly cut to a backstage corridor, where Edge and Randy Orton are walking, making their way towards the ring...
Can you believe that J.R.? The Coach is going to be the special guest referee for the WWE Championship match tonight!
I think it's a damn shame that once again, the deck is stacked against John Cena. Well that's to come later tonight, there you see the World Tag Team Champions. It's Edge and Shawn Michaels, live when we return!
As we return...
"YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME...
HEY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY..."
*BURN IN MY LIGHT (RATED-R REMIX)...*
A ton of heat welcome the tag champs, as Edge and Randy Orton (no Kenny Dykstra) saunter down to the ring...
Here comes the World Tag Team Champions, two men who have certainly had the number of DX in recent weeks.
Absolutely right. We've seen these two guys just decimate DX lately. I mean, I've lost count of the number of con-chair-tos I've seen over the last month or so.
"ARE YOU READY...?"
*BREAK IT DOWN...*
The roof nearly blows off the arena as Triple H and Shawn Michaels emerge, setting off pyros with crotch chops before heading down the ramp...
And there you see it folks. The ultimate equalizer: DX is headed to the ring, and Triple H is bringing a little company with him!
And take a look at the faces of Edge and Orton. They know first-hand the damage that sledgehammer can do.
I've got a feeling that things might be a little bit more of a level playing-field tonight...
World Tag Team Champion Edge w/ Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels w/ Triple H
Straight from the bell, it’s clear this isn’t going to be a technical classic, instead we’re in for a brawl, with Michaels taking the fight to Edge, looking to extract some revenge after the attacks he’s suffered from in recent weeks. Michaels beats Edge to the punch on numerous occasions, then he unloads with chops to the chest in the middle of the ring, driving Edge against the ropes and then sending him over the top rope with a clothesline. As Orton goes over to help his partner regroup, Michaels flies over the top rope with a slingshot crossbody, taking down both Edge and Orton. Michaels remains in control, unloading with more chops on the outside, before rolling Edge back into the ring for an early two count. Again Michaels unloads with right hands and chops in the corner, but when he goes for an Irish whip, Edge reverses, which sees Michaels crash upside down into the corner, and when he staggers out, Edge nails the Edge-o-matic. Instead of going for a cover, Edge takes his time to recover, and it’s at this point that we go to commercial.
We return with Edge now fully in control, hammering Michaels near the corner with a flurry of right hands. As the ref backs Edge away, Orton connects with a cheap shot, and he quickly vacates the area before Triple H can get over there. A Russian legsweep and an inverted-DDT get Edge 2 counts, and he looks to keep Michaels grounded by locking on a camel clutch. Edge wrenches on Michaels’ neck, and now begins to focus on HBK’s back, driving knees and forearms to the spine. Edge continues to hit moves and pick up nearfalls, before locking Michaels into a sleeper. Michaels manages to fight free, but his comeback is grounded as Edge sends Michaels off the ropes... Michaels ducks a clothesline... flying forearm! Michaels kips up, sending Edge back down with a series of slams before climbing to the top rope... elbow drop connects! Michaels goes to the corner, looking to tune up the band, and of course this is too much for Orton, who gets up on the apron... only for Triple H to yank him down! Orton immediately backs away, intimidated by the sledgehammer, with the ref over to try break the pair up. Michaels again looks to tune up the band, but a commotion is heard from the crowd... it’s Kenny Dykstra
! Dykstra races through the audience, leaping over the barricade and grabbing one of the World Tag Team title belts. Michaels makes his move... sweet chin music connects!!
Edge goes down, but Dykstra is in the ring... and clubs Michaels with the belt!!
Michaels slumps to the mat, and Dykstra drags Edge on top of him before leaping through the ropes. Orton has managed to distract the ref and The Game long enough, and the ref conveniently turns to make the count... 1... 2... 3!
Winner: Edge @ 12.24
Dammit! Kenny Dykstra, for the second time tonight, has stolen a victory.
Well Randy Orton and Edge laid down the challenge to Kenny for him to impress them. They look pretty impressed with him right now.
Orton and Dykstra help Edge back up the ramp, Dykstra looking very pleased with himself. In the ring, Triple H has returned to help Michaels with his feet, with 'The Game' staring up the ramp at Rated-RKO, as we cut away to a video...
Christmas In Baghdad
Highlights of last week's show, which sees John Cena and Edge square off, The Undertaker seeing off Johnny Nitro, Carlito pinning Randy Orton before Santa Clause taking on the Masterlock Challenge, only for JBL to rip of the beard and nail Masters with the clothesline from hell.
*End Video Package*
Once again, Todd Grisham is standing by...
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, he is the WWE Champion... John Cena!
It's a confident looking John Cena who enters to a mixed reaction, the WWE Title on his shoulder. Cena offers a brief "Hey Todd" before Grisham continues...
John, tonight, you put the WWE Championship on the line against Johnny Nitro, a man who you've had your share of issues with in recent weeks. Not only that John, but at ringside will be Kevin Ferderline, the man who back at Cyber Sunday cost you victory in the 'Champion of Champions' match. And of course, earlier tonight we found out that Jonathan Coachman has appointed himself the special guest referee for the match...
(Interrupting) And what
is up with that
Todd? I mean, what is going on tonight? We've got Vince McMahon back, going crazy in the ring, only to get nailed by Rob Van Dam, we've got The Coach making up rules as he goes, we've got sledgehammers and we've got a damn backup dancer walking around like he owns this damn show!!
A pop from inside the arena, with Cena taking a minute before getting serious...
But y'know, Coach naming himself as the special guest referee? It's nothing new. That guy has been trying to screw me for weeks now. But each and every time you get the better of me Coach, I just keep coming back for more! Each and every week, I show up for work wondering how you're gonna try take this title away from me! But y'know something Coach? No matter what you throw at me, no matter how many people you want to put against me... nothing you do will EVER take this title away from me.
Cena now removes his cap, squaring up to the camera...
As for Johnny Nitro, Johnny, you never earned your shot tonight. You got this shot by becoming nothing more than Jonathan Coachman's BITCH!
"Ooohs" from the crowd, with Cena continuing with his intense promo...
Well I ain't nobody's bitch, I fight for all I got, and I don't care how many people you bring to the party, when it's all said and done, Coach, Nitro, Melina, K-Fed, hell everybody in the building, you'll all know one thing... THE CHAMP... IS... HERE!!
Pop from the crowd, as we head back to ringside for...
*I AIN'T A LADY TO MESS WITH...*
A fair amount of heat as Victoria steps out, carrying a clipboard that has been referred to as the 'hitlist' in recent weeks...
Well there you see the 'black widow' Victoria, all set for divas action against Candice Michelle. Still to come later tonight, John Cena defends the WWE Championship against Johnny Nitro, but it's Divas action as Victoria takes on Candice Michelle when we return live to Monday Night Raw!
Candice Michelle v Victoria
We join the match already in progress, and we don’t get much of it. With Victoria on a dominant tear lately, it’s no surprise that she dominates this match with Candice. Candice puts up a fair fight, even connecting with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, but once Victoria kicks out of a cover, it doesn’t take long for Victoria to regain control and finish Candice off with the widow’s peak. 1... 2... 3.
Winner: Victoria @ 03:11
As the referee goes to raise Victoria's hand, she quickly snatches it away, and turns back to Candice, clearly intent on dishing out more punishment. As Victoria lines Candice up, a pop is heard from the crowd, as the Women's Champion Mickie James races down to ringside, forcing Victoria to quickly flee the ring. Mickie checks on Candice, before standing at the ropes, while Victoria shouts back at the champ "That belt's gonna be mine!" as we go backstage...
Where ECW Champion Bobby Lashley is talking to some random backstage worker, with the content of the conversation hard to make out. Lashley soon stops talking though... as Rob Van Dam approaches him. Both men share a respectful nod to each other, before Van Dam starts to speak...
Rob Van Dam:
Listen Lashley, you know I got a lot of respect for you man. I mean, you came into ECW, and you won the ECW Championship, and it was impressive. But uh... I can't lie to ya' Bobby. You as the last ECW Champion? That's not something I'm happy about.
Lashley now has a more sterner look on his face, but Van Dam looks to stay calm...
Rob Van Dam:
You weren't there back in the day Bobby. You weren't part of the real
ECW. Now I know that Big Show was guaranteed a rematch with you after the elimination chamber. But... c'mon Bobby. You and me, on the last ever episode of ECW... for the ECW Championship.
A nice pop from the crowd at the though of that match happening...
Rob Van Dam:
You gotta admit Bobby... that
shoulda been the way ECW went off the air.
Lashley adjusts the ECW Title on his shoulder while having a brief laugh...
Y'know Rob, that would've been a great way for ECW to go out. I mean, you, an ECW Original, taking on me, the new face of ECW. That woulda been something special.
Van Dam smiles and nods, pleased Lashley agrees with him...
But it wouldn't have ended how you wanted it to. There wouldn't have been any fairytale ending for you or ECW Rob. If
me and you faced each other, one-on-one for the ECW Championship... I'd beat you Rob.
The two step towards each other, almost going nose-to-nose... until a series of footsteps approaching them can be heard. But Lashley and Van Dam shift their eyes from each other, just as the camera pans... to see Jonathan Coachman enter the shot....
Gentlemen, I couldn't happen but to overhear what you two were saying there... and that gave me an idea. Now since you two are both new to Monday Night Raw... and since you both managed to upset Mr. McMahon on your first night here... and from what I heard in that little conversation of yours, there seems to be a lil' bit of tension in the air between you two. So how about this? How next week, live on Raw... Rob Van Dam... one-on-one with the ECW Champion, Bobby Lashley? How's that sound to you two?
Van Dam is all smiles as he mouths "Oh yeah" while Lashley looks as stern as ever, simply nodding his approval...
Good, good. Now uh, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for tonight's main event. I'll see you two next week.
Coach exits the scene, but Van Dam and Lashley continue to stare at each other before Van Dam smiles and turns to leave, leaving a tense looking Lashley, his eyes still locked on Van Dam as we fade into a commercial.
When we return...
A ton of heat is unleashed as Johnny Nitro, Melina and Kevin Federline emerge, arrogantly posing for photographers at the top of the ramp before swaggering down the red carpet, Melina having an arm linked with Nitro and K-Fed at each side...
Welcome back to Monday Night Raw everyone. There you see Johnny Nitro, a man with a huge opportunity tonight, as he gets set to take on John Cena for the WWE Championship.
And J.R., we know the deck is stacked in Nitro's favour tonight. He's got the lovely Melina in his corner, he's got Kevin Federline, who's already cost John Cena a match in the past. And then we've got Jonathan Coachman as our special guest referee for this match!
It's shaping up to be an insurmountable task for John Cena to retain the title...
More heat from the crowd, this time for Jonathan Coachman, who of course has donned the referee's stripes in anticipation of his role in the main event...
Is this gonna be the night J.R.? Is this the night that The Coach is finally able to take the WWE Championship away from John Cena, after months of trying?
The personal vendetta between Coach and John Cena has escalated in recent weeks, and it looks like it's only a matter of time before Coach gets his wish, and John Cena loses the WWE Title.
Coach enters the ring, but shows no sign of impartiality whatsoever, shaking hands with Nitro and Melina. His music stops and the crowd quiets until...
*THE TIME IS NOW...*
As ever it's a huge mixed reaction for the Champ, who storms out onto the stage, posing for the crowd before confidently making his way down the ramp.
He is one of the most controversial superstars in WWE history. Very ya' like him or ya' don't like him, ya' gotta respect what this man has overcome in recent months.
Right but I dunno if John Cena can overcome this. I think tonight might be a step too far for Cena...
Main Event: WWE Championship Match
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro w/ Melina and Kevin Federline
Special Guest Referee: Jonathan Coachman
Before Coach calls for the bell, he insists on checking Cena for any foreign objects, with J.R. quick to point out that Nitro wasn’t subjected to the same checks. As Coach feels Cena’s knee pads, Nitro strikes, hitting a cheap shot that knocks Cena back into the corner. Nitro looks to pummel Cena in the corner, only for the champ to fire back with rights of his own, with Coach quickly admonishing Cena for using a closed fist. Again Nitro looks to take advantage, hitting more right hands and going for an Irish whip, only for Cena to duck a clothesline and connect with a flying shoulderblock. Nitro is up quickly, but when he charges Cena back-body-drops him over the top rope, with Nitro landing at the feet of Melina and K-Fed. Cena stands tall in the ring, and as Melina tries to help Nitro recover, we head for the final commercial of the night.
When we return from commercial, Cena is still in control, wrenching at Nitro with a headlock, before being sent off the ropes... only for Melina to grab Cena’s foot, allowing Nitro to strike from behind, knocking Cena through the ropes to the floor. Immediately, Melina and K-Fed lay in with the boots, with Coach faking a lousy distraction with Nitro, with J.R. demanding Coach show a level of fairness. Nitro goes outside, and he whips Cena into the steel steps, then driving Cena into the barricade. Back in the ring, Nitro looks to wear Cena down, targeting Cena’s shoulder in particular, aiming boots at it and applying an armbar.
Nitro then piles on the offence, scoring near falls from a spinning heel kick and then from smashing his knee into Cena’s face as he sat on the mat. Coach of course goes for fast counts every time, with Cena having to kick out in a hurry to save his title. Nitro has Cena dazed, and as he tees-off with right hands, Cena manages to block one, firing back with a right of his own. A slugfest quickly develops, and it’s the champion who gains the upperhand, connecting with three rights in a row then ducking a swing from Nitro... and hitting the killswitch! Nitro staggers to his feet, only for Cena to plant him again with a one-handed bulldog. The crowd is behind the champion (well as much as a crowd can get behind Cena) and he comes off the ropes... five-knuckle shuffle! Cena is quickly back on his feet... only for Melina to jump on the apron. As Cena chases her down, Nitro attacks... but Cena ducks... and nails the FU!! 1... 2... COACH DOESN’T COUNT THE 3!!
Instead, we see Coach fake a cramp/pain in his shoulder, leaving Cena enraged. Not buying it for a second, the champion grabs Coach by the collar, with our referee immediately pointing to the WWE logo on his refs shirt. Realising Coach is right, Cena relents, letting go of Coach’s collar... only to then scoop him up... FU TO COACH!!
Cena plants Coach, but Nitro’s back on his feet... CORKSCREW NECKBREAKER!
The match should be a DQ, but with Coach down, there’s no-one to call for the bell. Melina and K-Fed try to wake Coach as Nitro goes for the cover, only for another ref to race down the ramp and slide into the ring... 1... 2... CENA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Nitro can’t believe it, knowing he had the title won if Coach was still able to make the count.
Desperately Nitro carries on, again connecting with right hands before running the ropes and going for a springboard roundhouse kick... but Cena catches Nitro in mid-air... and NAILS A SECOND FU!!
An exhausted Cena crawls over, hooking both legs... 1... 2... 3!!
Winner: And still WWE Champion, John Cena @ 15.36
Cena is victorious! It's carnage in the ring, with Coach still down near the apron, while Nitro is planted in the middle of the ring. Melina can only scream at the sight of the 2nd referee raising Cena's arm in victory. As all of this is going on, K-Fed slips into the ring... with the WWE TITLE!! The crowd urges Cena to turn around, and as he does, K-Fed swings... and misses! Cena quickly scoops him up... FU TO K-FED!! Cena dumps Federline to the mat, before scooping up his title belt...
Unbelievable! John Cena has retained the WWE Championship... and he just nailed K-Fed with the FU!
John Cena has dodged a bullet yet again! What a start to 2007 this has been! Join us next week, live on Monday Night Raw!
Cena climbs to the middle turnbuckle, hoisting the title high in the air to a mainly positive response, and we fade to black with the sight of the WWE Champion standing tall...
Current Card for WWE Royal Rumble:
Date: January 28th 2007
Location: AT&T Centre, San Antonio, Texas
30 Man Royal Rumble Match:
Winner has automatic title shot at EITHER brand’s Champion at Wrestlemania XXIII:
Entrants in Alphabetical order: