Re: Shocker Presents: TNA 2010 - The Revolution
TNA Impact – March 1, 2010 – Orlando, Florida
Impact kicks off with a video package recounting the events of last week’s episode of Impact; Rob Van Dam opening the show and being interrupted by Desmond Wolfe, Van Dam going after Wolfe and making him quickly leave the ring, Sting’s baseball bat coming down from the ceiling instead of Mr. Anderson’s microphone, RVD defeating Anderson after the lights went out and Sting’s music played and Wolfe attacking Van Dam after the match, getting his revenge following their altercation at the beginning of the night.
Then, the opening credits play and ‘Change Me’ blares out as the camera cuts into the Impact Zone and the stage becomes veiled by pyrotechnics and fireworks. The camera then pans the audience in the Arena who are holding up signs of all shapes, sizes and colours, before cutting to ringside where Mike Tenay and Taz are sat, ready to welcome us to the show.
Tenay: Tonight, Kurt Angle faces Samoa Joe in a Ladder match with Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase guaranteeing a TNA World Heavyweight Championship match anytime, anywhere, and for the first time ever, the brash and cocky Desmond Wolfe squares off against ‘The Icon’ Sting! I’m Mike Tenay alongside Taz and partner, you can just sense that tonight is going to be historic!
Taz: Angle and Joe have had epic battles in the past, but they have never crossed paths in a Ladder match, and as for Desmond Wolfe versus Sting, just mentioning Sting’s name gets you fired up for that match, but imagine if Wolfe could defeat ‘The Icon’; his name would be cemented in TNA history forever!
Tenay: Also tonight, Jeff Jarrett returns to the ring, as he goes one-on-one with the Motor City Machine Guns’ Alex Shelley, and don’t forget, Mick Foley will be in action next week against Shelley’s tag team partner, Chris Sabin!
Taz: I can’t wait, Professor, we don’t know what shape Jeff Jarrett’s gonna be in and how fresh he’ll be, but no matter what, you can guarantee that Alex Shelley will take the TNA founder to the limit.
Tenay: Plus, Kazarian faces Kiyoshi in an Ultimate X Qualifying Match for Destination X, Doug Williams squares off against ‘Super Mex’ Hernandez, and Generation Me face Team 3D, as they prepare for their match against Beer Money for the TNA World Tag Team Championships at Destination X!
Then, ‘Mic Checked’ blares out and the lights go out in the Impact Zone, as the crowd, knowing who is coming, begin to boo. Then, a large spotlight shines down on the stage and Mr. Anderson is standing there, not with the usual smirk he has on his face. Wearing a charcoal blazer, a ‘Pro Wrestling is real, people are fake’ t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, Anderson saunters down the ramp and enters the ring, looking around the audience before reaching up and receiving his microphone.
Anderson: Oh, look ... a microphone. Now you know, Stinger, not to mess around with me.
Heat for Anderson, who then turns to the camera to look directly into it.
Anderson: Y’know, I would ask you why you’re obsessed with me, but then again I don’t need to, because you’re just like all of these people, and they’re all jealous of me.
The crowd boo in disagreement.
Anderson: See? See that? Pure jealousy, don’t ya’ think? They cheer you because they feel sorry for you, Stinger, I didn’t think it was remotely possible but ... you’re below them.
More heat for Anderson.
Anderson: Nice guys always finish last, so it’s no wonder I’m at the top of this company ... and you’re at the bottom, because you care more about pleasing people you don’t even know than succeeding, whereas I’m a selfish prick and I’m damn frickin’ proud of it.
KA momentarily smirks at the camera, before continuing.
Anderson: You think you can take me down there with ya’, well it ain’t gonna work. You’re pathetic enough to get involved in my business, and you cost me my match against Rob Van Dam last week.
Cheers from the crowd, happy that RVD defeated him.
Anderson: You’re an old man, Stinger, and that’s not gonna change. Followin’ me around, costing me matches, making a baseball bat come down in front of me, it’s not gonna change the fact that I am better than you in every single way. I mean, you probably weren’t even good at baseball, for cryin’ out loud! But, unsurprisingly, I was awesome at baseball, I can use a baseball bat pretty damn well, and not just to play ... ‘cause I can use it to beat the holy living hell out of you as well.
More heat for Anderson.
Anderson: I said to you last week that if you messed with me, you would be signin’ your career away with your own blood, and that was even before you cost me my match. So if you even dare come within a few feet of me, I will-
Anderson is cut off when ‘Slay Me’ blares out and the crowd go wild, as Sting walks out! Ken shakes his head as Sting, wearing a black trenchcoat over his ring gear, makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring, taking a microphone.
Sting: You will ... what?
Anderson, shaking, looks very angry with ‘The Icon’.
Anderson: You wanna make jokes, Sting?! YOU WANNA MAKE JOKES?! Do you know who the hell I am?! Y’know what, you don’t deserve an answer right now, you’ll get your answer when I kick your ass and there’ll be nothing you can do ‘cause afterwards you won’t be able to stand up out of your God damn wheelchair!
Lots of heat for Anderson, who is bright red in the face.
Sting: Yeah, I do know who you are, Ken, and I can safely say that you’re one of the most stuck-up assholes I’ve ever seen who can’t keep his mouth shut for one second.
Big pop for Sting, as Anderson sarcastically laughs at him before reverting to a solemn expression.
Anderson: Haha, very funny, Stinger, you want a cookie for that? Jokes won’t get ya’ anywhere, ‘cause you’re only makin’ me even more pissed off, so in the long run, every time you try to impress these people, your fate slips even further into my hands. I can make jokes, I can talk as much as I want, ‘cause I talk loud but believe me, I hit a whole lot harder so if you don’t like the sound of my voice ... then you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Sting: Really? ‘Cause Ken, I’m dying to find out. I’ve been watching you for a long time, and not once have I believed that you’re in my league. I can see that just as I say that, you clench your fists, you grit your teeth and you wanna get your hands on me but there’s not a single hair sticking up on the back of my neck when I see that.
More cheers for Sting.
Sting: If you actually do talk loud and hit harder, then I dare you to make a believer out of me, and I’m gonna give you that chance, Ken. Destination X...
Big pop in the crowd as soon as Sting mentions Destination X.
Sting: March 21st ... how about you put your money where your mouth is and face me one-on-one?
The crowd go wild, they would love to see that match.
Anderson: Do you really wanna do that, Stinger?
Sting: You bet I do.
Anderson slowly nods his head, before giving Sting his answer.
Anderson: Then you’re on.
Big pop in the crowd, and a content Sting smirks, before extending his hand to Anderson! KA looks around the Impact Zone, before saying...
Anderson: A handshake?
Anderson shakes his head at Sting, who then withdraws it.
Anderson: I’m not gonna shake your hand. Besides, you’re so damn old, if I shook it, then your hand would crumble into little pieces. But mark my words, Stinger, if you think that sounds bad ... then at Destination X ... your ENTIRE – BODY ... your CAREER ... your LIFE ... will all crumble ... into ... pieces.
Heat for Anderson, who then whispers into the microphone...
Anderson: (Whispering) Pieces.
After those chilling parting words, ‘Mic Checked’ blares out and Anderson lets go of his microphone, before leaving the ring and walking up the ramp, not taking his eyes off Sting, with their date at Destination X now set in stone.
Tenay: It looks like at Destination X, we’re gonna see Mr. Anderson versus ‘The Icon’ Sting! What a match that’s gonna be, and if that confrontation between those two men there is anything to go by, then it’s gonna be one hell of a ride on March 21st when Anderson and Sting square off!
Taz: It sure is, a legend like Sting versus a- Whoa, whoa, wait, what’s going on?
Taz stops, when Desmond Wolfe, Sting’s opponent later on tonight, jumps over the security rail and enters the ring as ‘The Icon’ is watching Anderson leave, and Wolfe attacks Sting from behind! The crowd boo as Wolfe floors Sting and begins to stomp away at him, trying to gain an advantage going into their match later on tonight, but then the crowd go nuts as ‘Whole F’n Show’ blares out and Rob Van Dam runs out, sprinting to the ring and trading blows with Wolfe! They exchange right hands, and RVD gains the upper hand, but before he can capitalize on it, Wolfe rolls under the ropes and out of the ring, staggering up the ramp!
The crowd boo Wolfe’s cowardly actions as he soon disappears backstage, but they cheer again as ‘Whole F’n Show’ plays again and Rob Van Dam performs his ‘RVD’ pose whilst directly looking at Wolfe, before Van Dam helps Sting to his feet and they pat each other on the back.
Tenay: Desmond Wolfe tried to gain an advantage going into his and Sting’s match later tonight, but Wolfe’s rival Rob Van Dam took exception to that and sent Wolfe running!
Taz: It doesn’t look like Sting was hurt too badly in that short space of time, so it looks like we’re still on course for an awesome main event, Professor!
Tenay: But speaking of main events, don’t forget that tonight, it’s Kurt Angle versus Samoa Joe in a Ladder match with Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase guaranteeing a TNA World Heavyweight Championship match anytime, anywhere, hanging in the balance!
It All Begins – Kurt Angle debuts in TNA on October 19th 2006, and confronts Samoa Joe.
Back on Impact, Kiyoshi is standing in the ring as ‘We Are World Elite’ fades out on the P.A. system.
Then, ‘Kaz’ blares out to a pop from the crowd and Kazarian walks out, raising one hand in the air as he makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring, climbing to the second rope in the corner of the ring and posing for the fans once more before climbing back down and preparing for this match.
Ultimate X Qualifying Match
Kazarian Vs. Kiyoshi
Whoever wins this match will join the X Division Champion Christopher Daniels, Brian Kendrick and three other undetermined competitors in the Ultimate X Match for the X Division Championship next month at Destination X, but almost from as soon as the bell rings for this contest to begin, the winner is obvious. Kiyoshi is able to get in some offence at the beginning of the match, like most do, but after that it’s pretty much all Kazarian. With a few exceptions of some counters from Kiyoshi and some punches, Kaz dominates his opponent and when Kiyoshi is on the top rope, ‘The Coolest Man In Wrestling’ joins him up there, and hits ‘The Japanese Lightning’ with the Flux Capacitor from the top rope, then making the cover and picking up the victory, advancing to the Ultimate X Match at Destination X on March 21st!
Winner – Kazarian @ 3:49
‘Kaz’ plays and Kazarian gets to his feet as he has his hand raised by the referee to a pop from the crowd. Having secured his entry in the Ultimate X Match at Destination X, Kazarian climbs to the second rope and raises one hand aloft, then motioning around his waist that he will become X Division Champion, but speaking of the X Division Championship, Christopher Daniels then walks out onto the stage, holding his title over his shoulder, and he and Kazarian have a heated long-distance stare-down.
Tenay: We now know two of the five men that will challenge Christopher Daniels for the X Division Championship at Destination X; Brian Kendrick qualified last week, and Kazarian has secured his place in the Ultimate X match this week by defeating Kiyoshi!
Taz: Anybody could win it, Professor, and we’ve got another qualifying match next week with Amazing Red facing Homicide, so it’s shaping up to be one hell of an Ultimate X match on March 21st, I can guarantee that!
Then, Kiyoshi leaves the ring, and soon after, ‘Down In The Catacombs’ plays and Abyss walks out, to a pop from the crowd. Abyss makes a pose as pyrotechnics explode from the stage and ‘The Monster’ proceeds down the ramp, entering the ring and taking a microphone.
Abyss: I’m not somebody that talks a lot ... but Mick Foley...
Mixed reaction at the mention of Foley.
Abyss: Mick, I want you to come out here right now!
After a few moments of silence, ‘Chic Chic Bang Bang’ blares out and Mick Foley walks out, wearing his signature scruffy clothes as he walks down the ramp, entering the ring and taking a microphone, looking confused as to why Abyss has called him out.
Foley: Can I help you, Chris?
Breathing heavily, ‘The Monster’ replies.
Abyss: No, Mick ... but you definitely need help.
Foley looks perplexed after Abyss’ answer.
Foley: What are you talking about?
Abyss: You know what I’m talking about, Mick ... what’s happened to you? Before Hogan came in, you loved TNA, you were an inspiration to all of us, especially me, and now Hogan’s here you wanna leave.
Foley: You just answered your own question, Chris ... Hogan. He’s ruined everything. I used to love professional wrestling, I used to love all of the guys in the locker room, but now Hulk’s come in and he’s ripped my heart out, y’know?
Abyss: But Mick, Hulk’s a great person, why don’t you just give him a chance-
Mick interrupts Abyss.
Foley: No! You’re wrong, Chris! You don’t know anything about Hulk Hogan!
Mixed reaction for Foley.
Foley: Hulk is not a ‘great person’ like you say he is, in fact, he’s far from it. I’ve given him plenty of chances, and a whole lot of other people have too, but not once has he cleaned up his act! So until I’m proven wrong ... Hogan hasn’t changed a single bit since he came to TNA.
Heat for Foley, who shakes his head in response to his ovation.
Foley: But do you know who has changed, Chris? You have.
Abyss looks surprised at Foley.
Foley: You used to live up to your moniker; you were ‘The Monster’. Whenever you walked into that locker room backstage, the other guys had their backs up against the wall, because they knew what you were capable of, they knew that you could kick all of their asses!
The crowd cheer in agreement.
Foley: But now, all I see is just another ordinary guy hidden behind a mask, with nothing whatsoever to make me say that you were one of the baddest and most violent son-of-a-bitches to ever set foot in TNA! THAT’S WHAT YOU USED TO BE, CHRIS!!
Mick calms himself down, before continuing.
Foley: If you don’t believe me and you think that I’m only saying this because I have a problem with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, then you’re wrong. I was on the phone to your father, James Mitchell, the other day, and if he was here right now, my exact words would have come out of his mouth too.
Abyss appears to think about Foley’s words, as he continues.
Foley: Believe me, Chris, I don’t want your career to go up in flames, but if you keep going the way you’re going, then it will, and it will be an absolute waste because if you look deep inside yourself and find the Abyss that was TNA World Heavyweight Champion ... then you can be a World Champion again.
The crowd cheer, liking that idea.
Foley: Hell, you could help me and Jeff Jarrett drive Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff out of TNA because if the guys in the locker room are afraid of you ... then you can bet your ass they won’t dare move a single muscle in their body when they’re looking at you. So c’mon, Chris ... whaddya’ say?
Foley extends his hand to Abyss and ‘The Monster’ looks around the crowd, who are booing Foley and chanting at Abyss ‘Don’t sell out!’, and he puts his hand forward, about to shake hands with ‘The Hardcore Legend’ ... but he pulls away at the last second and then leaves the ring, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Keeping his head down, Abyss walks up the ramp and disappears behind the curtain, as Foley watches on, looking down at the hand he extended and shaking his head in disappointment.
Tenay: An interesting turn of events there to say the least, Mick Foley tried to persuade his friend ‘The Monster’ Abyss to help him and Jeff Jarrett drive Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff out of TNA, but Abyss simply walked away.
Taz: I think Abyss made the right choice, Mike.
Tenay: Speaking of Jeff Jarrett, the TNA founder is in action tonight against Alex Shelley of the Motor City Machine Guns, and don’t forget, Desmond Wolfe faces Sting and Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe go one-on-one in a Ladder match for Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase!
Joe’s Revenge – Kurt Angle wins his first match in TNA by making Abyss submit to the Ankle lock, but Angle is attacked by Samoa Joe after the match.
Back on Impact, ‘Invasion’ plays and Doug Williams walks out, accompanied by his tag team partner Brutus Magnus and his World Elite superior, Eric Young. The trio walk down the ramp and enter the ring, as Magnus and Williams pose and Young simply stands there, smirking.
Then, ‘Te Gusta O No!’ blares out to a pop from the crowd and Hernandez walks out, with Matt Morgan and Rob Terry at his left and right side respectively. Hernandez punches the air multiple times as his pyro explodes, and he, Morgan and Terry walk down the ramp, entering the ring as ‘Super Mex’ climbs to the second rope to pose for the fans, Morgan raises one hand in the air and Terry flexes his bulging muscles.
Before the match can begin, though, ‘White Train’ plays and Eric Bischoff walks out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. All six men are surprised to see Bischoff, and Eric has a slight smirk on his face.
Bischoff: As ‘nice’ as it is to see all of you in and around that ring ... it is almost literally begging for something to happen, and I don’t want to have to deal with that, which is why I have taken the liberty of banning Matt Morgan, Rob Terry, Brutus Magnus and Eric Young from ringside! Good luck, guys.
‘White Train’ blares out again and Bischoff walks away, soon followed by the four men who have been banned from ringside for this match.
Doug Williams Vs. Hernandez
Brutus Magnus and Eric Young, on Doug Williams’ side, and Matt Morgan and Rob Terry, on Hernandez’s side, were all banned from ringside by Eric Bischoff for this match, but it doesn’t have an effect on the quality of this match, which is a good quality, or on the competitors competing in it. This is a very evenly-matched contest, with Williams bringing his outstanding technical ability and ‘Super Mex’ bringing his immense strength and size to the table in this bout. Both Williams and Hernandez get a lot of offence in, with Hernandez at some points manhandling the Englishman, but eventually Doug uses his intellect to bend the rules, as he un-laces his boot whilst on the floor and Hernandez goes to grab Williams’ leg but he takes his boot off and he holds it up in front of the referee, who takes a while to dispose of it, and as he does, Williams low-blows Hernandez and rolls him up with a small package, picking up the victory!
Winner – Doug Williams @ 5:03
‘Invasion’ blares out and Doug Williams gets to his feet as he has his hand raised by the referee and he immediately leaves the ring, collecting his boot which is lying on the floor and jogging up the ramp with one hand raised in the air following his questionable victory.
Tenay: Doug Williams had to bend the rules, but in the end he did defeat Hernandez!
Taz: Hey, give him a break, Professor; rules are like bones, they’re made to be broken, and personally I’m glad Doug Williams knows that, everybody should.
Tenay: Coming up next, Generation Me face Team 3D, and still to come tonight on Impact, Desmond Wolfe faces Sting and Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle square off in a Ladder match for Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase!
The Streak Is Over – Kurt Angle defeats Samoa Joe at Genesis 2006, ending Joe’s undefeated streak in TNA.
Back on Impact, ‘My Generation’ plays and Generation Me make their way out to a pop from the crowd. Jeremy and Max Buck, wearing identical black and green attire, sprint down the ramp and enter the ring, both climbing to the second rope in opposite corners of the ring and posing for the fans before climbing back down and waiting for their opponents to arrive.
Then, ‘Watch Out, Watch Out’ blares out to a mixed reaction, and Team 3D walk out, both posing for the crowd before walking down the ramp and entering the ring, looking to get straight down to business in this match.
Tag Team Match
Generation Me Vs. Team 3D
This match doesn’t last very long, but during the time it does last, it is very much evenly-matched between the two contrasting teams of the high-flying Generation Me and the no-nonsense hardcore extremists Team 3D. Brother Ray and Brother Devon manage to hit most of their signature moves apart from the 3D itself which would most likely put Jeremy or Max Buck away, but Generation Me manage to avoid it on more than one occasion, and they take control towards the end of the match, hitting Brother Devon with their signature double-team finishing manoeuvre, More Bang For Your Buck, and making the cover, defeating the most decorated tag team in professional wrestling history!
Winners – Generation Me @ 4:22
‘My Generation’ blares out to a pop from the crowd and Jeremy Buck, who made the cover to win the match, gets to his feet and he and his brother Max have their hands raised by the referee, having defeated the veterans Team 3D. Max and Jeremy embrace and raise each other’s hands in the air, but then ‘Take A Fall’ plays and the TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money, who will defend their titles against Generation Me at Destination X, walk out, holding their titles over their shoulders. James Storm and Robert Roode walk down the ramp and enter the ring, taking microphones and confronting their future opponents.
Roode: Congratulations, guys, really. Team 3D, they’re arguably the greatest tag team of all time and you just beat them.
Pop for Generation Me, who appreciate their ovation and wave at the fans.
Roode: But ... before you get too giddy over it, let me just remind you that they’re past their prime, you could say they’re over the hill, and anybody can beat them, hell, I can barely count on two hands the amount of times we’ve whooped their asses in this very ring.
Mixed reaction for Roode.
Roode: You two still need to make a name for yourselves, but you’ve got the biggest chance of your lives to do that when you face us for these TNA World Tag Team Championships on March 21st at Destination X.
Storm: But, uh ... if ya’ wanna get on your way to makin’ a name for yourselves, then I think y’all should change your ring attire so ya’ don’t look like two cheap Hardy Boyz rip-offs.
A lot of ‘Ohhh’s amongst the crowd after that statement.
Storm: So if ya’ don’t bring your A-game to Destination X ... then sorry ‘bout your damn luck.
‘Take A Fall’ blares out and James Storm and Robert Roode leave the ring to a pop from the crowd, walking up the ramp as Generation Me watch them depart and Max and Jeremy talk to each other quietly although it isn’t known what they’re discussing.
The camera then cuts backstage, where the Global Champion ‘The Pope’ D’Angelo Dinero is walking down a corridor presumably on his way to the ring.
Tenay: Beer Money with some strong words for Generation Me, but there’s the TNA Global Champion ‘The Pope’ D’Angelo Dinero on his way to the ring to address the TNA fans, and he’ll have some strong words for the man who will challenge him for his title at Destination X, ‘The War Machine’ Rhino! We’re now entering the second hour of Impact, so make sure you stay with us when we return!
Hard Luck, Joe – Kurt Angle defeats Samoa Joe at Hard Justice 2007 to retain the TNA World Heavyweight and IWGP Third Belt Championships and win the TNA X Division and TNA World Tag Team Championships.
Back on Impact, now in the second hour, ‘Catholi-Funk’ blares out and the TNA Global Champion ‘The Pope’ D’Angelo Dinero walks out to a big pop from the crowd. Wearing shades, a face-mask and a long black trench-coat over his usual ring gear, the ultra-charismatic Dinero saunters down the ramp and pauses to outstretch his arms and look to the heavens as money falls from the ceiling like confetti and Dinero enters the ring, taking a microphone and waiting for a ‘Pope is Pimpin’!’ chant to quieten before speaking.
Dinero: Pope hasn’t had the opportunity to address his congregation in a while and he apologizes for that, but Pope’s been a little busy lately and he’s had some business to take care of concerning the man they call ‘The War Machine’ ... Hippo.
The fans laugh after Pope calls Rhino ‘Hippo’.
Dinero: What, you don’t know Hippo? Oh, believe me you will, ‘cause Hippo’s gonna be challenging Pope for this Global Championship at Destination X on March 21st!
Dinero unstraps his title from around his waist and holds it up to cheers from the crowd.
Dinero: And at Destination X, you’ll know Hippo quite simply as the guy who got his ass kicked all over the Arena and to the streets of Harlem and back by Pope!
Pop for Pope, who nods in agreement before continuing.
Dinero: It might be a dirty job, but Pope’s ready for that, and Hippo damn sure is ‘cause he loves to roll around in mud and after the match his Momma can lick all of the mud off his body, even down in the parts where nobody dares go if you know what Pope’s sayin’.
More laughter in the crowd.
Dinero: Hippo, Pope knows what you’ve done in the past ... you’ve put people through tables, you’ve shortened many careers including your own and you have been in some of the most brutal matches known to mankind ... but no matter what you’ve done in the past, you will never ... ever ... be the charismatic, pimptacular, hand-clapping, foot-tapping, pimp-slapping, blinging attire, always on fire, TNA Global Champion that is ‘The Pope’ D’Angelo ... Dinero!
Big pop for Dinero, who regains his composure before continuing to talk.
Dinero: But hey, that’s just Pope’s opinion so you don’t have to believe that if you don’t want to, but Hippo, you better believe that Pope’s congregation know what’s gonna go down at Destination X!
Cheap pop for Pope.
Dinero: So ... if Pope’s gonna defeat Hippo at Destination X and retain the TNA Global Championship, can Pope please get an Amen?
The crowd respond with a reverberating ‘Amen’ and Dinero then turns to directly face the camera.
Dinero: That’s right. So Hippo ... Pope wants you to get down on your knees ... clasp your hands together, ‘cause Pope knows what you’ll instinctively do when you get on your knees...
The crowd laugh at Pope’s remarks.
Dinero: Close your eyes and say all the prayers your Momma taught you, ‘cause you’re gonna need a miracle to even come close to out-performing Pope at Destination X, and-
However, Dinero cannot continue as, speak of the devil, Rhino, who has run down the ramp and entered the ring, slams a steel chair over the back of ‘The Pope’! Dinero goes straight down and Rhino begins to stomp away at Dinero and he then gets him to his feet. Dinero tries to fight back and gets cheered by the crowd, but ‘The Man-Beast’ wrenches Dinero’s arm and pulls him in, almost taking the TNA Global Champion’s head off with a thunderous clothesline!
Rhino then momentarily leaves the ring and lifts up the ring apron, searching under the ring ... and revealing a table! Rhino lifts it up and looks at the table with a sadistic grin on his face before sliding the table into the ring and re-entering, setting the table up in the corner of the ring and waiting for Dinero to get up. Eventually, ‘The Pope’ gets up, standing in between Rhino and the table in the corner, and that’s the last place he wants to be, because Rhino runs straight at Dinero, and sends Dinero crashing through the table with a Gore!
Taz: GORE! GORE! GORE, BABY, GORE!
Buried in the shards of the broken table is the TNA Global Champion D’Angelo Dinero and Rhino gets to his feet, taking Dinero’s Global Championship from the floor and holding it aloft as if it was his, which it could be at Destination X, to a lot of heat from the crowd, before dropping it and walking over to the motionless Dinero, shouting into his face ‘Who’s hippo now?!’ before leaving the ring and walking up the ramp as ‘War Machine’ blares out.
Taz: Man, oh man, that was one hell of a gore! I love Pope, I really do, but Rhino just took his ass out big time! If that ain’t a potential sign of things to come at Destination X on March 21st when these two guys meet, then I don’t know what is, Professor!
Tenay: Rhino is a sick, vile man and for anybody who didn’t already know that, he just showed the entire world his true colours.
Paramedics rush to the ring, some of them carrying a stretcher, and they check on D’Angelo Dinero, who hasn’t moved a muscle since that Gore from Rhino. They strap Dinero to the stretcher and take him out of the ring, but then Rhino, who is standing on the stage, turns around and sees ‘The Pope’ ... going back for more! The crowd boo Rhino as he storms downt he ramp and yells at the paramedics who quickly get out of the way as he grabs the stretcher from the floor which Dinero is strapped to ... and slams the stretcher with Dinero strapped to it against the steel ring-post! The stretcher falls to the concrete floor and ‘The Pope’ is well and truly out cold now if he wasn’t already as Rhino stands over him and raises both hands above his head before walking away, ignoring the boos of the crowd.
Tenay: I don’t sense much enthusiasm in your voice now, Taz.
Taz: I know, Mike, but that ... that’s just crossing the line. I know that’s TNA’s tagline and all but I’m sure it’s meant in jest, not so that guys do stuff like that. I’ve known Rhino for a long time, and I’ve seen the good and bad sides of him plenty of times, he’s not always straight in the head, but he’s gone way too far tonight. I just hope Pope’s alright down there ... I’m gonna go check on him.
Taz stands up, removes his headset, and leaves the announce table, walking down the ramp towards D’Angelo Dinero, but Rhino steps in his way! Taz says to Rhino, ‘What the hell are you doin’, Terry? Get the hell outta’ here!’ but that doesn’t do anything, as Rhino grabs Taz by the shirt collar and shoves him away! There are a lot of ‘Ohhh’s in the crowd after that and Taz doesn’t back down, walking back towards Rhino and shouting at him ‘Hey, don’t pull that crap with me, Terry, I’m warnin’ you, al..’ but Taz isn’t able to finish ... as Rhino nails Taz with a Gore!!!
Taz is laid out on the ramp as Rhino stands over him with a smirk on his face as he pulls Taz back up by his shirt collar and pushes him down the steps that lead off the ramp and down to the concrete floor in front of the announce table where Taz should be right now. Rhino drags Taz over to the announce table and Mike Tenay quickly removes his headset and takes several steps back as Rhino removes the TV monitor from the announce table, and hits Taz in the skull with the TV monitor! This is getting plain distasteful now, and Taz is laid out on the concrete floor as D’Angelo Dinero is taken backstage on the stretcher and then more paramedics emerge, rushing over to where Taz is, and Taz is now bleeding from the head, as he is strapped to a stretcher and taken away as security guards get in the maniacal Rhino’s way.
Back on Impact, the camera has a close-up of Mike Tenay sat at the announce table.
Tenay: Welcome back to Impact, everybody, as you saw before the commercial break my broadcast partner Taz was viciously attacked by Rhino, he will not be announcing for the remainder of tonight so joining me as his replacement is a familiar face to this announce table, Don West.
The camera pans out to show West smiling and waving at the camera.
West: Great to be here, Mike, I’m still a bit pissed off that I’m not the permanent colour comentator for Impact especially now that we’re on Monday nights and I’m gonna talk to Hogan and Bischoff about that, but let’s get down to business!
Then, ‘Motorcity’ blares out to a big pop from the crowd and Alex Shelley walks out, accompanied by his Motor City Machine Guns tag team partner, Chris Sabin. Both men stand back-to-back and point to the ring before sprinting down the ramp, gesturing to the camera and entering the squared circle, climbing to the second rope in opposite corners and posing for the fans before climbing back down.
‘My World’ plays to a mixed reaction from the crowd and Jeff Jarrett walks out, wearing a white and silver sleeveless jacket over his ring-gear and holding a signature guitar in his hand. Jarrett walks down the ramp and pauses to raise his hands and guitar in the air as his pyrotechnic goes off before continuing to walk down the ramp and entering the ring, getting ready for this match to get underway.
Alex Shelley Vs. Jeff Jarrett
The bell rings and Alex Shelley and Jeff Jarrett shake hands in the middle of the ring, then circling each other around the squared circle for several moments before locking up. Jarrett gets Shelley in a standing headlock and Alex tries to push him away but instead Jeff floors him with a headlock takedown and keeps Shelley in the headlock. Alex manages to get to his feet and he fights his way out of the headlock after some elbows to Jarrett’s mid-section and he then wrenches Jeff’s arm, making his way into the corner of the ring and running up the turnbuckles to the top rope, then backflipping off and hitting Jarrett with a spectacular reverse DDT! Shelley makes the cover, 1...... 2...... Jarrett kicks out. Shelley gets to his feet and runs off the ropes, looking like he’s going to go for an elbow drop but before he can, the founder of TNA Wrestling takes Shelley down with a drop toe hold and he then gets up, stomping away at Shelley and getting him to his feet, lifting Alex up and planting him with a scoop slam before running off the ropes and hitting Shelley with a knee drop. Jarrett then makes the cover, 1...... 2...... Shelley gets the shoulder up. Jarrett gets Shelley to his feet and Irish whips him against the ropes, bending over to go for a back body drop but Alex counters with a sunset flip roll-up, 1...... 2...... Jarrett reverses it and pins Shelley’s shoulders to the mat, hooking his legs, 1...... 2...... Shelley reverses it and pins Jarrett the same way he did a few moments ago, 1...... 2...... Jarrett rolls backwards, escaping from the pin!
Half-way through the match, it is still even between Alex Shelley and Jeff Jarrett, but Jarrett has just begun to gain the upper hand after pushing Shelley off the top rope and down to the concrete floor on the outside of the ring when Shelley attempted a Sliced Bread #2. With Alex lying on the floor holding his right shoulder, he gradually struggles to his feet and Jarrett climbs out onto the ring apron, jumping off and hitting Shelley with an elbow drop to the head! Shelley goes back down and Jarrett then rolls into the ring before rolling back out again to break the count and Jarrett grabs Shelley’s legs, catapulting Shelley face-first into the steel ring-post! Shelley’s skull bounces off the steel and he goes down as Jarrett looks down at him and Chris Sabin checks on him before ‘The King Of The Mountain’ re-enters the ring, thinking that Shelley won’t be able to make it back into the ring before the ten-count, and who can blame him? Shelley hasn’t moved since being catapulted into the steel ring-post, and Alex only begins to get to his feet on the count of seven, but Shelley is able to get back into the ring just before the count of ten! The crowd cheer for Shelley as he lies on the canvas, and an optimistic Jarrett immediately makes the cover, 1...... 2...... Shelley gets the shoulder up!
The ending to this match comes when Alex Shelley has taken Jeff Jarrett down to the canvas with a clothesline and Shelley, who is beginning to show signs of tiredness, climbs to the top rope as he waits for Jarrett to get to his feet. Jarrett gets up, and Shelley goes for a dropkick from the top rope, but Jarrett smartly moves out of the way as Shelley crashes and burns on the canvas, failing to hit Jarrett! ‘The King Of The Mountain’ slowly gets to his feet and eventually gets Shelley up, wrenching his arm and going for the Stroke, but Shelley fights out of it, and with his last bit of energy, he gets Jarrett in a dragon sleeper position, and hits Jarrett with the Shellshock! Shelley makes the cover, 1...... 2...... 3!!!
Winner – Alex Shelley @ 8:38
‘Motorcity’ plays and Alex Shelley gets to his feet as he has his hand raised by the referee, as Chris Sabin enters the ring and raises Shelley’s other hand. The duo climb to the second rope in opposite corners of the ring and pose for the crowd before leaving and walking up the ramp, as Jeff Jarrett gets to his feet, disappointed that he lost the match, but he gets applause from the crowd after his effort.
Tenay: A huge victory for Alex Shelley, defeating the founder of TNA Wrestling, Jeff Jarrett!
West: I knew this day would come when Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin would be major players here in TNA, and not only have they beaten The Band, but Shelley has now beaten Jeff Jarrett! But, can Sabin impress next week against Mick Foley?
Then, ‘Rockhouse’ blares out and Hulk Hogan walks out, to a big pop from the crowd. Wearing a black bandana, shades, and a black vest and pants, Hogan makes his way down the ramp holding a microphone in his hand, as he picks up Jarrett’s guitar and enters the ring, putting the guitar in front of ‘Double J’.
Hogan: Tough luck, brother, you had a great match there and you deserved to win just as much as Alex did, but Jeff, I came out here ‘cause I think you and Mick took a wrong turn last week.
Jarrett looks confused, but listens nonetheless.
Hogan: You say me and Bischoff are killin’ TNA and that we’re gonna run it into the ground like where WCW went, but when you go to the back and you step inside that locker room, I want you to take a look around, brother; AJ Styles is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.
Big pop for Styles.
Hogan: A guy that I can guarantee is gonna be one of the biggest stars in this industry, The Pope, is the TNA Global Champion.
Big pop for Dinero.
Hogan: Christopher Daniels, one of the guys that revolutionized the X Division and has been with this company almost as long as you, is the X Division Champion, and two of the best young stars in TNA, Beer Money, are the TNA World Tag Team Champions.
Mixed reaction for Daniels but a pop for Beer Money.
Hogan: See, Jeff? There’s guys like Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sting who were in WCW back in the day, and they’re not castin’ a shadow over TNA, brother, I’ve got a problem with some of the older guys but I put that aside ‘cause everything I do, I do it for this company.
Cheers for Hogan.
Hogan: So there’s your guitar, Jeff, right in front of ya’. Go on, pick it up.
Not taking his eyes off Hogan, Jarrett reaches down and picks up his guitar, holding it with both hands.
Hogan: I want you to remember everything I just said to you, Jeff, and I wanna see you try to hit me with that guitar. C’mon, you’ve got a free shot, brother.
Hogan leans forward, putting his head in front of Jarrett who looks at ‘The Hulkster’ and then looks down at his guitar. Jarrett lifts up the guitar and is in position to hit Hogan ... but then Jeff stops, and stays still for several moments before shaking his head and leaving the ring, walking up the ramp to cheers from the crowd. Hogan stands back up straight and as ‘My World’ blares out, Hogan gives Jarrett a double thumbs-up.
Tenay: Has Jeff Jarrett had a change of heart? Hulk Hogan gave Jarrett the chance to smash the guitar over his head almost literally on a silver platter, but ‘Double J’ backed out of it! Has Jarrett gone back on what he said to Hogan last week, and just as important, has Mick Foley too?
West: Judging by what Mick Foley said to Abyss earlier tonight, I wouldn’t get my hopes up, but I do think Jarrett didn’t give Hogan a chance at first, but it looks like he has now, Mike.
Tenay: Coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, Desmond Wolfe faces ‘The Icon’ Sting and Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe go head-to-head in a Ladder match for Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase!
Backstage, Rhino is walking down a corridor, still with the same sadistic smirk on his face he had earlier when he attacked both the TNA Global Champion D’Angelo Dinero and Taz. Then, ‘The War Machine’ is confronted by Eric Bischoff.
Bischoff: What the hell was that, Rhino?!
Rhino continues to laugh, ignoring Bischoff’s question.
Bischoff: I give you a TNA Global Championship match at Destination X, and THIS is how you re-pay me?! You man-handle one of our Champions, the guy you’re facing at the Pay-Per-View, and if that wasn’t bad enough, you attack one of our COMMENTATORS?! Get the hell outta’ this building right now, and you’ll be lucky if you ever come back in here again, let alone have your match at Destination X!
Still laughing, Rhino turns on his heel and walks out of the shot, as Bischoff looks on in disgust.
Joe’s Rage In The Cage – Samoa Joe defeats Kurt Angle in a Steel Cage match at Lockdown 2008 to win the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Back on Impact, ‘Hungry Like A Wolfe’ blares out and Desmond Wolfe, accompanied by his valet Chelsea, walks out, getting a lot of heat from the crowd. Wolfe gives the crowd a two-fingered gesture with his free hand, the other hand linked with Chelsea’s, before making his way down the ramp, entering the ring and holding down the middle rope for Chelsea and then giving the crowd another ‘salute’ before waiting for his opponent to arrive.
Then, ‘Slay Me’ plays to a huge pop from the crowd and the lights go out in the Arena, as a large spotlight shines down on the stage and Sting walks out. Wearing a long black trench-coat over his ring-gear, ‘The Icon’ walks down the ramp and enters the ring, removing his jacket and shouting ‘Showtime, folks!’ to the fans before preparing for this match with Desmond Wolfe, who stands opposite him.
Desmond Wolfe Vs. Sting
The bell rings and Desmond Wolfe and Sting walk towards the centre of the ring, talking trash to each other for a few moments before both taking a step back and then locking up. Wolfe knees Sting in the mid-section and hits him with a few right hands before going for an Irish whip but Sting reverses it and whips Wolfe into the ropes and when Desmond comes back, Sting takes Wolfe down with a clothesline. Wolfe is quick to recover and he gets back to his feet, running at Sting again but ‘The Icon’ kicks him in the mid-section and takes Wolfe down with a hip toss before running off the ropes and hitting him with an elbow drop. Sting makes the cover, 1...... Wolfe gets the shoulder up. Sting gets back up and gets Wolfe to his feet, wrenching his arm and whipping Wolfe into the corner of the ring, running at him but Desmond counters with a boot to the face of Sting and he follows it up with a bulldog. Wolfe quickly gets back up and stomps away at Sting, taunting him as he runs off the ropes but Sting takes him down with a drop toe hold and subsequently tries to get Wolfe in a crossface but Desmond quickly crawls across the ring and holds onto the ropes as Sting is forced to let go by the referee and ‘The Black Crow’ gets to his feet as he walks over to Wolfe and with the referee’s view obstructed by Sting, Wolfe rakes the eyes of Sting!
‘The Icon’ staggers backwards and Wolfe then tilts in between the ropes, before running at Sting, going for the Jawbreaker Lariat but Sting counters it into a back body drop as Wolfe goes up and then crashes down to the canvas! He soon gets back up and runs at Sting but Sting takes him down with a hip toss before running off the ropes and hitting him with a knee drop to the cranium. Sting gets back and shouts ‘Wooooooooooo!!’ which gets cheers from the crowd and after taking a breather, the veteran gets Wolfe back to his feet and Irish whips him into the corner of the ring, then running at him, but Wolfe moves out of the way as Sting manages to stop himself before running right into the turnbuckles, but Desmond then clotheslines Sting in the back, taking him over the ropes and out of the ring! Wolfe takes a moment to saunter around the ring and give the fans his signature two-fingered gesture which gets a lot of heat from the crowd in the Impact Zone before he leaves the ring and stomps away at Sting for several moments, then getting him back to his feet.
Desmond Wolfe gets Sting to his feet and hits him with a few right hands until Sting staggers backwards and only the steel security rail is keeping him on his feet, and Wolfe takes a few steps back, gesturing to the audience before running at Sting but ‘The Icon’ renders Wolfe docile with a kick to the mid-section and he then whips the English braggart shoulder-first into the steel ring-post! Wolfe grabs his shoulder in pain and sinks to the concrete floor as Sting gets him back up and gets him back in the ring, then covering Wolfe, 1...... 2...... Wolfe gets the shoulder up! Sting gets back up and gets Wolfe to his feet, Irish whipping him against the ropes and bending down in preparation for a back body drop, but Wolfe runs back at Sting and hits him with a DDT!
Desmond Wolfe immediately hooks Sting’s legs and makes the cover, 1...... 2...... Sting kicks out! Wolfe gets back up and takes Sting’s legs, trying to turn him over onto his stomach but Sting kicks Wolfe away and sends him back-pedalling. Sting gets back up and runs at Wolfe, but Wolfe hits ‘The Icon’ with a Powerslam! Wolfe covers again, 1...... 2...... Sting kicks out again! Wolfe appears to be getting rather impatient now as he has failed to put Sting away so far, and he looks up at the referee Andrew Thomas, getting up and berating the innocent ref Thomas before turning around and jumping high up into the air, dropping his knee onto Sting’s sternum. Wolfe gets Sting up and he Irish whips him into the corner of the ring, then lifting him up to the top rope and climbing up there himself. Wolfe gets Sting in a front face-lock and tries to go for a Superplex but Sting fights back with a few blows to Wolfe’s mid-section and he then pushes Wolfe off the top rope and down to the canvas! The crowd cheer as Sting is now on the top rope with his opponent laid out on the canvas, and Sting hollers ‘Showtime!’ before flying off the top rope and connecting with an elbow drop! Sting lands on top of Wolfe and covers him straight away, 1...... 2...... 3-NO! Wolfe gets the shoulder up in the nick of time!
There has been no quit in either of these warriors in this spectacular contest, and it comes to an end when Sting gets Desmond Wolfe to his feet after a clothesline, and he Irish whips him into the corner of the ring with the referee standing nearby. Sting stands in the opposite corner and runs across the ring towards Wolfe, but Wolfe pulls the referee towards him by the shirt, putting him in the corner as he moves out of the way and Sting is already in the air as he accidentally hits the referee with the Stinger Splash! Thomas is now down and out and Sting looks down at the referee with a look of shock on his face, but Wolfe looks to take advantage, running at Sting but ‘The Icon’ kicks Wolfe in the mid-section and plants him with a DDT! Sting is now the only man standing in the ring and he stands over Wolfe wondering what to do next, but meanwhile Sting’s nemesis Mr. Anderson runs down the ramp and enters the ring, taking Sting’s black baseball bat from the corner, and when he turns around, Anderson nails Sting with a baseball bat shot to the mid-section, followed by another one to the spine!
Sting goes down in a heap and Anderson stomps away at Sting with the crowd booing the hell out of him until Wolfe gets up, and Anderson brings Sting to his feet, then leaving the ring as Wolfe tilts in between the ropes and charges forward, nailing Sting with the Jawbreaker Lariat! Wolfe shakes the referee Andrew Thomas around ruthlessly until he at least partially wakes up, and when he does, Wolfe covers! 1...... 2...... 3!!!
Winner – Desmond Wolfe @ 9:17
Desmond Wolfe has beaten Sting! The fans in the Impact Zone cannot believe it, and they are livid as Wolfe gets to his feet with a grin on his face and he raises his hands in the air, ‘saluting’ the crowd with his two-fingered gesture before leaving the ring, leaving the fallen Sting to the psychotic egomaniac Mr. Anderson.
Tenay: I cannot believe this! Desmond Wolfe has beaten Sting, thanks to Sting’s rival Mr. Anderson! That man makes me sick!
Anderson slithers back into the ring with a smirk on his face and he stands over Sting who is barely moving, then reaching up into the air as his microphone comes down, grabbing it.
Anderson: Oops ... my bad, Stinger.
Anderson laughs at himself as he gets insane heat from the crowd.
Anderson: At Destination X, your only destination is going to be retirement ... and you can only blame yourself, because now you know never to piss off, MIIIIIISSSSSSTTTTAAAAAAHHHHHH ... ... AAAAANNNDDDDEERRSSSOONNNNN!!!!!
Anderson then crouches down and lifts up Sting’s head, repeatedly hitting Sting in the forehead with the microphone until Sting is bleeding! Once his job is done, Anderson lets go of Sting and lies down on the mat, whispering into Sting’s ear:
Anderson: (Whispering) Annndddeeeerrrsssonnnn.
Anderson gets up and lets go of the microphone, taking Sting’s baseball bat with him and lifting Sting’s head up again, rubbing his bloodied head against the bat until it has blood on it as ‘Mic Checked’ blares out and Anderson leaves the ring, walking up the ramp with a look of sheer satisfaction on his face after what he just did to Sting whilst holding the blood-stained bat in the air.
Tenay: Mr. Anderson is a sick, vile son-of-a-you know what, and he just showed that to the whole world when he decimated Sting and made ‘The Icon’ bleed, and he even smeared Sting’s blood on his own black baseball bat and then took the bat with him!
West: If Sting wasn’t intimidated by Mr. Anderson before then I bet he sure as hell is now, and I would go and check on him, but I don’t want to make the same mistake as Taz. I wouldn’t be shocked if Sting doesn’t even make it to Destination X, Mike, after that beating Anderson gave him!
Tenay: Coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe one-on-one in a Ladder match, with Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase guaranteeing a TNA World Heavyweight Championship match hanging in the balance. Both men have said that should they win, they’ll use the opportunity against AJ Styles at Destination X, but who will it be?
Backstage, Christy Hemme is standing by, alongside Kurt Angle.
Hemme: I’m standing by with Kurt Angle, who is just moments away from facing Samoa Joe in a Ladder match for Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase which guaranatees a TNA World Heavyweight Championship match anytime, anywhere.
Angle nods his head.
Hemme: Kurt, you said last week that if you win this Ladder match then you will use your title opportunity against AJ Styles at Destination X, but why then? Why wouldn’t you want to use it, for example, after AJ’s already had a match?
Angle: Christy, just by you saying that I can tell you don’t know a lot about me, because I don’t believe in shortcuts. I didn’t win an Olympic gold medal by taking shortcuts, hell, as clichť as I’ve made it sound, I won it with a broken freakin’ neck!
Pop for Angle.
Angle: I’m a three-time TNA World Heavyweight Champion, and I’d be damned if I don’t win tonight and make it four World Titles at Destination X!
More cheers for ‘The Wrestling Machine’.
Angle: Me and Samoa Joe, we have a lot of history together; when I made by TNA debut almost four years ago, Joe was the first guy I set my eyes on, ‘cause I had been watching him for a long time before that day and I knew that he could take me to the limit and he did, and all of the classic matches we’ve had, some of the best matches to ever happen in a TNA ring, can attest to that. I’ve won titles from him, he’s won titles from me, not to mention we were allies less than a year ago in the Main Event Mafia!
Mixed reaction at the mention of the MEM.
Angle: But we’ve never faced each other one-on-one in a Ladder match, and tonight, to me, it’s the most important match we’ll ever have, because it’s do or die for me, if I lose this match, then I have to go the rest of the year without being able to win the one thing that I eat, sleep and breathe, the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. So Joe, if you thought I gave you the fight of your life in the past ... then you haven’t seen anything yet. Oh, it’s real ... It’s damn real!
Big pop for Angle, who then walks out of the shot.
Elsewhere, Jeremy Borash is standing by with Angle’s opponent, Samoa Joe.
Borash: I am standing by with the man who will face Kurt Angle, who we just heard from, in a Ladder match, in a few short moments, ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe, and Joe, this is a new environment for you as far as your battles with Kurt are concerned; you’ve had one-on-one matches, you’ve had steel cage matches, but never before have you clashed in a Ladder match. Your thoughts?
Joe: JB, you are right; me and Kurt have had countless matches over the past four years, they’ve all been some of the best matches TNA has ever seen, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m not inexperienced in Ladder matches ... it’s just been a match waiting to happen.
Mixed reaction for Joe, who continues.
Joe: Every type of match I compete in, I revolutionize, I leave an ever-lasting mark of destruction and annihilation on it, and tonight will be no different, JB. I can do whatever the hell I please tonight, I can bust his head open with a steel chair, I can put him through tables, I can choke his sorry ass to death with wires, but I’m not gonna do that because I want Kurt to every single moment of me climbing up that ladder, taking my Feast or Fired briefcase and holding it up in the air.
Joe takes a step closer to the camera.
Joe: Kurt, I don’t consider tonight as me having never faced you in a Ladder match ... I think of it as you having never faced me in a Ladder match ... and you should too, Kurt, because you’re the one who needs to be worried, not me. As for AJ Styles ... I hope you watch the match tonight, because you should know fully well that I can inflict more damage on you in a normal one-on-one match than I can inflict on Kurt in a Ladder match when I do and use whatever the hell I please. So get ready for Destination X, AJ.
‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ stares into the camera lens for several moments before walking out of the shot to a mixed reaction.
The Night They Shocked The World – Samoa Joe allows Kurt Angle to win the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in the King Of The Mountain Match at Slammiversary 2009, marking the birth of their short-term alliance.
Back on Impact, ‘Get Ready To Fly’ plays to a big pop from the crowd and the TNA World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles walks out with his title over his shoulder, as he makes his way over to the announce table and joins Mike Tenay and Don West.
Tenay: Welcome back to Impact, everybody, we are just moments away from our main event, a Ladder match between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe for Joe’s Feast or Fired briefcase, and both men have said that if they win, they will use it at Destination X against the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles, who is joining us here for the match. Welcome, AJ.
Styles: It’s great to be here, Mike. Whoever wins this match, I’m lookin’ forward to facin’ them, I’ve been against both of ‘em before and I’ve beaten both of ‘em before so hopefully I can beat one of ‘em at Destination X. Nice to see you back at the announce table too, Don West.
West: It sure is, AJ, and Taz, if you’re watching, I hope you get well soon and you take as much time off as you like to recover!
‘Nation Of Violence’ blares out and ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe walks out, keeping his head down as he walks down the ramp with a white towel over his neck. Joe enters the ring and looks up at his Feast Or Fired briefcase that is hanging above the ring before walking into the corner of the ring, looking at the four ladders that surround the squared circle.
Then, ‘Gold Metal’ plays to a big pop from the crowd and the lights dim in the Impact Zone, as Kurt Angle emerges on the stage and he steps off the mini-elevator he came up on, raising his hands above his head simultaneously with his pyro before walking down the ramp and walking around the ring, touching all of the ladders before entering the ring.
Ladder Match For The Feast Or Fired Briefcase
Kurt Angle Vs. Samoa Joe
The bell rings and instead of locking up, Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe run at each other and Angle tries to take Joe down to the canvas but Joe manages to stay on his feet as he hangs against the ropes and when Kurt stands up straight Joe kicks Angle in the mid-section and takes Kurt down with a few clubbing blows to the back, then stomping away at Angle’s back and then getting Kurt back to his feet, kneeing Angle in the mid-section and lifting Kurt up for a scoop slam, but Angle slips off Joe’s shoulders and he then goes for the Angle Slam, but Joe lands on his feet behind Angle and he takes ‘The Wrestling Machine’ down with a chopblock. Joe then rolls out of the ring and grabs Angle’s legs, pulling him out of the ring and hitting him with some right hands and then going to slam Angle’s face into the security rail but Kurt counters it and he kicks Joe in the mid-section, ramming the skull of the ‘Samoan Submission Machine’ into the security rail multiple times and then throwing Joe into the steel ring-post!
Joe goes down and Angle takes one of the ladders from nearby, sliding it into the ring and then entering the squared circle, setting up the ladder, but before he can begin to climb it, Samoa Joe is back in the ring, and Joe hits Angle with a blow to the back as Kurt staggers back into the corner of the ring and Joe takes a few steps back before running towards the corner at Angle, but Angle moves out of the way as Joe runs into the corner without hitting Angle and Kurt then runs at him, hitting Joe with a clothesline. Angle then takes down the ladder and lays it flat on the canvas, then lifting Joe up to the top rope and climbing up there, wrapping his arms around Joe’s chest, and hitting Joe with a belly-to-belly suplex off the top rope and onto the ladder!
There are a lot of cheers in the crowd after that and a ‘TNA! TNA! TNA!’ chant comes to fruition as both competitors lie motionlessly on the canvas, Samoa Joe lying on the ladder, and several moments later, Kurt Angle struggles to his feet as he pushes Joe across and picks up the ladder, setting it up and slowly climbing it rung-by-rung, but when Angle is on the fifth rung, Joe gets to his feet with assistance of the lower rungs of the ladder, and he grabs onto Angle’s legs, stalling ‘The Olympic Hero’ and climbing up the ladder, lifting up Angle, and taking Angle off the ladder and down to the canvas with a back suplex! It is back to square one as Joe and Angle are both down on the canvas, but a few moments later Joe is back on his feet and instead of climbing the ladder Joe leaves the ring and lifts up the ring apron, searching under the ring and revealing a steel chair which he slides into the ring.
As signs of fatigue become evident, ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ re-enters the ring, but by the time he is back in the squared circle, Angle has grabbed the steel chair and he is now, albeit barely, on his feet, and Angle nails Joe in the skull with the steel chair! Joe falls to the canvas and Angle looks up at the Feast or Fired briefcase and then looks down at Joe ... before removing the straps from his singlet, and locking Samoa Joe in the Ankle Lock! The crowd pop as Joe is locked in the lethal submission, and Joe quickly edges across the ring, getting the upper half of his body past the ropes and eventually getting out of the ring by getting through the ropes, taking Angle out of the ring with him.
Both Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle get to their feet and they trade right hands, until Joe kicks Angle in the mid-section, and hurls Angle into the security rail! The impact, no pun intended, of that slightly displaces the rail, as Kurt sits up against it and Joe walks over, getting Angle back to his feet and lifting him up in a Gorilla press position before dropping Angle chest-first onto the security rail! Not letting Kurt fall to the ground, Joe lifts Angle up by the legs, and dumps Kurt on the other side of the rail in the crowd! Joe subsequently climbs over the security rail and gets Angle up, hitting him with punches and then getting Angle in a front face-lock, trying to lift him up for a suplex and ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ manages to slightly lift Kurt off the ground, but ‘The Olympic Hero’ manages to keep his feet down and he fights his way out of the predicament following half a dozen blows to Joe’s mid-section, before hitting him with a few punches and then climbing back over the rail, getting Joe, still on the other side, in a front face-lock, and just about managing to lift him over, hitting Joe with a suplex on the concrete floor!
Kurt Angle throws both of his hands above his head and shouts ‘Yeah!’ which gets a good reaction from the crowd, and he then gets Samoa Joe to his feet, hurling Joe face-first into the steel ring-post! Joe falls against the ring apron which keeps him up instead of falling down again and Angle then loads him back into the ring, gradually climbing to the top rope, and when he’s up there, Angle goes for a Moonsault but Joe rolls out of the way as Kurt crashes and burns on the canvas!
Both men lie on the canvas trying to catch their breath, as the effects of this gruelling match begin to take their toll, and ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ slowly gets to his feet, grabbing the ladder and setting it up in the corner of the ring. Joe gets Angle to his feet and lifts him up in position for the Muscle Buster but Angle fights out of it and lands on his feet behind Joe, wrapping his hands around Joe’s waist, and sending Joe into the ladder in the corner of the ring with a German Suplex! The crowd pop and chant ‘Holy Sh*t!’ as Angle is still holding onto Joe and he drags Joe back into the centre of the ring, getting him to his feet, and German Suplexing Joe into the ladder AGAIN! Joe’s back must be nearly broken now, but Angle does not care one single bit, as he gets Joe back in the middle of the ring again and gets him up, German Suplexing Joe into the Ladder for a THIRD time!
Kurt Angle takes the ladder which has almost been snapped in half from the corner of the ring and sets it up in the middle, thinking about climbing it but Angle seems to think that he hasn’t done enough, and he puts the ladder on the floor, dragging Samoa Joe across until he is sandwiched inside the ladder and Angle lifts the top half of the ladder up, ready to drive it into Joe, but ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ hits Angle with a low-blow, kicking him in the groin! Angle back-pedals and Joe struggles to his feet, nailing Kurt with a stiff enzuiguri to the skull! Angle falls to the canvas and Joe sets up the ladder, beginning to climb it to get towards his Feast Or Fired briefcase, and with Angle just beginning to try to get up, Joe is three-quarters of the way up the ladder and he is about to reach up for the briefcase, but Angle climbs up two rungs, enough to grab Samoa Joe, who suddenly slips away from within touching distance of the Feast Or Fired Briefcase, and nail Joe with an Angle Slam off the ladder!!!
The crowd pop after Kurt Angle once again thwarts Samoa Joe’s attempt to retrieve the briefcase and win this Ladder match, and both competitors are once again down until Angle tries to get up, holding onto the ropes and eventually he pulls himself up, as Kurt stumbles towards the ladder and ‘The Wrestling Machine’ takes a few moments to regain his composure before taking the gruelling journey up the ladder, slowly climbing up rung by rung, but Angle isn’t going very fast due to being exhausted from this bout, and Joe uses the ladder to pull himself up, pushing the ladder over as Angle goes face-first into the ring-ropes and the ladder falls down! After not having anything to keep himself up with, Joe sinks to his knees, and ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ crawls across the mat, grabbing the ladder and trying to lift it up but he can’t as he isn’t able to stand up, so instead Joe pulls the ladder across by its end and he opens it up, slightly dragging Angle across the mat closer towards him and putting Kurt’s ankle in between the ladder. Joe gets his hands on the top part of the ladder, ready to sandwich Angle’s ankle, but Kurt hits Joe with a stiff boot to the face and Joe falls back!
Angle edges backwards into the corner of the ring and grabs the ropes, pulling himself up and taking the ladder which almost crushed his ankle, setting it up in the middle of the ring and taking his time to do so in order to get it in exactly the right position to climb it and retrieve the Feast or Fired briefcase which he has damn near put his body and career on the line to win. ‘The Olympic Hero’ once again begins to climb the ladder, getting half-way up when Samoa Joe is up on his feet and he begins to climb the ladder as well on the other side! Both men continue to climb and when they are both at the top of the ladder and both within touching distance of the briefcase, Angle and Joe begin to trade blows, constantly doing so until Joe hits Kurt with a hard punch and Angle falls off the ladder!
That right hand was so hard that not only did Kurt Angle fall off the ladder, but Samoa Joe fell down one rung as well! But, Joe keeps his mind on the task and he climbs up the remaining rung, as he is once again within touching distance of the briefcase, and he has one hand on it, but Angle landed in a fortunate position on the mat, and Angle pushes the ladder over, as Joe falls off and goes face-first into the ropes ... and the ladder bounces off the ropes and goes right back into Angle’s hands!
The crowd pop big time as Samoa Joe is down and out on the canvas and Kurt Angle is up with the ladder in his hands, and Angle sets up the ladder, beginning to climb the ladder and the volume of cheers in the crowd get even louder with every rung ‘The Wrestling Machine’ climbs. Angle is at the top of the ladder, and he reaches up for it ... BUT THE BRIEFCASE IS REELED UP FURTHER OUT OF ANGLE’S REACH!!! The cheers in the Impact Zone turn to deafening boos as Angle mouths ‘What the hell?!’ and he looks up as the briefcase is out of his reach and Kurt can see something, or someone in the rafters...
IT’S RIC FLAIR!!!
RIC FLAIR HAS RAISED THE BRIEFCASE FURTHER UP SO KURT ANGLE CAN’T RETRIEVE IT!!! FLAIR HAS SCREWED ANGLE!! Angle can see Flair, and with a furious look on his face, he shouts ‘I’ll kill you, Ric! I’ll kill you!’ as Flair continues to grin at his rival. Meanwhile, Samoa Joe is back on his feet and he is climbing up the ladder as Angle is distracted by Flair, and Joe slams Kurt’s face into the top of the ladder, then pulling Angle towards him until the upper half of Angle’s body is on his half of the ladder. Joe gets Angle in a front face-lock and pulls Kurt further across until Angle’s legs are resting on the top of the ladder and Joe takes Angle’s legs, lifting him up ... AND NAILING ANGLE WITH A MUSCLE BUSTER OFF THE LADDER!!!
The crowd pop again and chant ‘Holy Sh*t!’ as Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe are laid out on the canvas and Ric Flair lowers the briefcase once again, then walking away with the camera set on him, and several moments later, Joe is up, and he begins to slowly climb up the ladder, getting closer and closer to the Feast or Fired briefcase and ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ on top of the ladder, glances down at Angle who is still motionless before getting his hands on the briefcase ... AND TAKING THE BRIEFCASE DOWN, WINNING THE LADDER MATCH!!!
Winner – Samoa Joe @ 16:52
Ric Flair has screwed Kurt Angle out of winning the Feast or Fired briefcase! ‘Nation Of Violence’ blares out to heat from the crowd and Samoa Joe, with a smirk on his face, holds up his briefcase as he sits at the top of the ladder and we now know that AJ Styles will defend his TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Destination X against Joe.
Tenay: Samoa Joe has won the Ladder match, but he can consider himself damn lucky he did because Kurt Angle was going to win that match but Ric Flair raised the briefcase even higher above the ring and then Joe capitalized!
West: Kurt Angle can consider himself well and truly screwed by Ric Flair, but he messed with ‘The Nature Boy’ and Flair made him pay the price!
Tenay: So AJ, that man sitting at the top of that ladder will challenge you for your TNA World Heavyweight Championship on March 21st at Destination X.
Styles: Yep, but I’ll be damned if I get screwed out of this title at Destination X. I don’t know if I’m on anybody’s bad side as much as Kurt is on Flair’s, but I know that nobody’s on Joe’s good side.
With his briefcase in his hands, Samoa Joe points to AJ Styles at the announce table, and the show closes with the image of Joe’s fingered directed at Styles as he holds his briefcase, and AJ standing up with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship held aloft...
Tenay: You could cut the tension with a knife here, ladies and gentlemen! AJ Styles and Samoa Joe will compete one-on-one at Destination X for the most prestigious prize in professional wrestling, the TNA World Heavyweight Championship! Goodnight, everybody, and we’ll see you next Monday night for another edition of Impact!
March 21st – It’s on...
Ladder Match | Samoa Joe def. Kurt Angle @ 16:52
Sting def. Desmond Wolfe @ 9:17
Alex Shelley def. Jeff Jarrett @ 8:38
Generation Me def. Team 3D @ 4:22
Doug Williams def. Hernandez @ 5:03
Ultimate X Qualifying Match | Kazarian def. Kiyoshi @ 3:49
Destination X Card:
TNA World Heavyweight Championship | AJ Styles Vs. Samoa Joe
Mr. Anderson vs. Sting
No Holds Barred | Loser Leaves TNA | Kevin Nash Vs. Scott Hall
Ultimate X | TNA X Division Championship | Christopher Daniels Vs. Brian Kendrick Vs. Kazarian Vs. ??? Vs. ??? Vs. ???
TNA Global Championship | D’Angelo Dinero Vs. Rhino
TNA World Tag Team Championship | Beer Money Vs. Generation Me