Re: DWA: Drizzle Wrestling Alliance
OOC: This is pretty much "the show before the show" webcast announcing everything with extra bits of things I put in to make it entertaining. So Jericho is pseudo-in-character. Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated and repped and possibly returned if you have a BTB. Anyway, to the show!September 28th, 2010
*The camera is set still in front of a stage with 4 chairs on it, then begins panning around the arena to show a talk show-like crowd of hushed fans*
Producer: We are live!
*All of a sudden, from backstage walk the 5’8 170 pound Dylan Harris, in a Blue shirt with silver and black designs, also wearing blue cargo shorts, the man liking blue today, along with his brown hair cut neatly and styled much like Tom Cruise’s. Flanked by Chris Jericho in a Fozzy shirt and jeans and Jushin Lyger, wearing a bright orange suit with his trademark Luchadore mask. All 3 take seats, while a hidden mic picks up what they are saying as the crowd cheers heavily*
Dylan: *chuckling slightly at Lyger’s ridiculous look* Come on, man. This is supposed to be important, can’t you take the mask off once?
Lyger: *not speaking much English* No. Mask stay on. Always. Even in movie.
Jericho: Whoa, always? Even when you are doing…the thing..?
Dylan: Whoa! Lets just get on with what we are here for, I do not want you to get fired for beating up your boss again.
*Jericho smiles as the crowd “oohs”*
Jericho: If I had to kick someone’s ass, it would be you, Dylan. I’m just saying!
Dylan: Yeah, yeah. But I am not Batista or Vince, my balls have not disappeared due to constant steroid abuse.
*The 3 burst out laughing along with the entire crowd*
Jericho: We are sorry. We’re sorry! In fact I would just like to issue my first apology to Batista and Vince, in fact guys, these two allowed me to make my own video showing how sorry I am. Lets all take a look…
*The screen turns to a shot of a Vince Mcmahon look-a-like with exaggerated hand print makeup on his face*
“Vince”: That bastard, Jericho! He will pay for this. After all these years…where is Hunter? Gah…*he walks into a room and locks the door* Grr…*the camera zooms in as he reaches down the back of his pants and pulls out a sledgehammer* Ah-hah! This has been keeping my walk steady for a decade! The great Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon’s personal tampon! I gotta get this back to Hunter before the show…what was I mad about? Gah, I guess I am going to go fire some people…grumble. *The fake Vince walks out of the room and the scene fades to black…then cuts to a scene of an imposter Batista with a giant leg and arm cast on his right side hobbling around a backstage area walking up to random people*
Batista: Rematch! Rematch! I want my rematch! Gar!!! Rematch!!!!! Animal unleashed for a rematch!!! Gah! *He trips and falls down…he can’t get up and starts to cry*
Batista: Boo-hoo! Rematch, rematch… wah!!! Rematch…
*the scene exits to a laughing crowd and the 3 onstage giggling as well*
Dylan: Good God, what has happened to this show? Thank God we are not on TV with this. Anyway, enough of that crap, my co-owner and star signing, please go backstage and get the titles. That is right, folks, every wrestling company has titles and these took an assload of time and money to make. So introducing! *Jushin and Jericho wheel out a table with 5 belts on it*
Dylan: With a blue strap and platinum plating, our biggest prize The DWA World title!
*Dylan holds the strap in the air as the crowd cheers*
Dylan: Get used to this sight…yeah right. Anyway, onto another one of our fine titles, with the black strap and gold plating, the DWA Rush title! There are no special rules for this, it is a regular title to be won by one of our great wrestlers. And the two straps you see here, with dark green straps and gold plating, the DWA Tag team titles! Two on two action will be important in DWA, that is a guarantee. Anyway, the smaller plated titles are not smaller in importance, as you can see, the small title with a black strap and platinum plating, the DWA Light Heavyweight title! No way are we going to focus on a bunch of muscle heads with no ability, the Light Heavyweights will have a home in DWA. And finally…this was a bit of a last minute decision for us, but Lyger insisted. With a pink strap and gold plating, the DWA Womens title! And there you go…
Jericho: These are top quality, I may have to win them all! But what I, and I think everyone wants to know is who’s asses I am going to have to kick to get these titles?
Dylan: Yeah, yeah, I made a video for the roster, but first let me bring out…Rudy Charles, Nick Patrick, Scott Dickinson, Jimmy Korderas, Earl Hebner and for the women, Kara Drew and Maria Kanellis, DWA’s order, the referees!
*The referees walk out in street clothes to cheers and Maria slaps hands and blows kisses to the fans at ringside*
Dylan: Not only do we have the baddest group of wrestlers around, we have the best referee group in the business. Without a doubt I, huh?
*The crowd is starting to boo heavily and chants of “You screwed Bret!” ring loudly towards Earl Hebner*
Hebner: *jerking the mic away from Dylan* Aw, I’m glad I screwed Bret!
*Earl pushes the mic back to Dylan and storms off the stage angrily as the crowd boos even louder*
Dylan: Uh…anyway, now that that is out of the way, I would like to announce our team of guys who will be calling the action, so introducing first, a former WCW Legend, fuck, he’s won all the belts, and is a hell of a guy personally, our Announcer…
*Dylan points to the side of the stage as Jericho and Lyger applaud and a familiar guitar riff plays over the speakers followed by the words…SELF HIGH FIVE!*
Dylan: Diamond Dallas Page!
*crowd pops heavily as seemingly everyone does the diamond cutter taunt as DDP shakes hands with everyone onstage*
Dylan: It is such an honor to have you here, man. And lets bring out our color commentator who you are going to be partnered with…DWA’s official KING of food and beverage…Excalibur!
*Crowd pops slightly, many not recognizing him from PWG as Excalibur walks out with a USC jersey and lucha libre mask, also wearing a crown and bows gracefully to the crowd*
Jericho: Stop with the stalling and get to the wrestlers already!
Dylan: Alright, alright…look at the big screen as everyone we signed is going to be here from now on! Lets look at the most explosive roster in history…
*The screen goes blue as the DWA logo appears and backs off and a picture of AJ Styles pops onto the screen as the crowd pops heavily and chants “AJ! AJ!” Followed by pictures and names with short video highlights of each wrestler with background music of “Jars” by Chevelle in this order*
Mr. Ken Anderson
Ted Dibiase Jr.
*Then the background changes to pink as the womens roster comes up*
Sara Del Ray
Sarah “Sarita” Stock
Dylan: Hell yeah! We got stars, we got guys who are gonna become stars, we’ve got MMA stars, we have a king, we have it all. So hey, Friday nights, CBS is the place to be for DWA: Fusion! And you are listening to the official theme song of Fusion, “Jars by Chevelle off of their album “Sci-Fi Crimes. Pick it up, it is awesome.
*Jushin is seen whispering something into Jericho’s ear*
Jericho: Aren’t you forgetting something, Dylan?
Dylan: Oh yeah, a few people have been asking me what my role on screen will be for DWA…and I wanted to be GM but these two knuckleheads said I couldn’t do it so they hired someone to be co-GM that I don’t even know who he is! The only thing they told me is that he has never worked in wrestling before so whoever it is I am confronting your ass ASAP! And then I will announce my role, because co-GM ain’t gonna fly with me.
*Jericho and Lyger are shown whispering sternly to each other and Jericho walks up and grabs the mic away from Dylan*
Jericho: So tune in at 8/7 central because I am gonna be in action, the preview will be up on DWA.com soon and time is running out, so thanks a ton for watching this monkey operation! And check out our first ever Pay-per-view, October 22nd in Key Arena in Seattle Washington!
Dylan: It is just “The Arena” now…
Jericho: Shut up. And that show will be called, DWA: Downpour so save up your money because I guarantee that starting this Friday it will be DWA is Jerichooooooooo!!!!!!!
*The crowd is going wild as Jushin and Dylan step up*
Dylan: Our entire Pay-per-view schedule will be posted on DWA.com soon, check it! For Jushin “Thunder” Lyger, and everyone watching and in the crowd and involved with this in any way, this is my dream and I love you! Goodbye! Except for that assclown co-GM guy, he can kiss my ass…
*The feed goes out and the DWA Logo appears saying all rights reserved as the show ends*