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Rated_R Phenom · 08-05-2009, 03:35 AM

Backstory

After Wcw went bust jeff jerret was not offered a wwe contract after working on the independent circuit for a year he has decided to form his own company Tna: Total Nonstop Action a full Roster list will be posted soon

Credit from tna.com

Bookers note this is my first ever thread i hope its good also dont judge me too hard im only 12

sorry for spelling nonstop wrong

**That Guy** · 08-05-2009, 03:39 AM

Just so you know it is Jarrett not Jerret and without a roster heck without anything this may be considered spam....
though you should post more in the first post, otherwise people won't want to come back into it when you edit it.
Good luck with this though.

X-Power · 08-05-2009, 03:41 AM

Very simple and avoidable errors here. You spelt the title of your thread wrong (Nonstop and Jarrett) and should capitalize acronyms like WCW and WWE in the future. Backstory is very meh and we've got nothing from this opening post really, and it doesn't compel me to read on. Sorry to be harsh, but there's a lot to work on.

**BkB Hulk** · 08-05-2009, 03:42 AM

I suggest you look at a few other threads before doing anything else. It'll give you a clue as to what you're meant to be doing as a new guy to BTB.

Rated_R Phenom · 08-05-2009, 06:04 AM

thank you for ur comments i will try to improve

harlemheat: i do have a roster its just at home and im away from home Today so i couldnt post it

TNA Events For 2002

june 16: Madison Square Garden, New York
july 28: Target Center Minneapolis Minnesota
Auguest 14: Air Canada Centre, Toronto Ontario
September 5th: Mellon Arena Pittsburgh Pennslvania
October 9th: Dunkin' Donuts Center Providence, Rhode Island
November 18: Staples Center, Los Angeles California
December 27: Rose Garden Portland Oregon

Also a twenty man Gauntlet for the gold will take place on june 16th for the tna world title
with Jeff Jerrett announcing that two former wwe champions have signed five year deals with tna and will enter 19 and 20 in the gauntlet

Rated_R Phenom · 08-06-2009, 08:32 AM

Official Tna Roster

Jeff jerrett
Abyss
Aj Styles
Cm Punk
Amazing Red
The Wall
Christopher Daniels
Paris styles
DDP
Jerry Lynn
Super crazy
mike awesome
Shane Dougles
Kid Kash
Sabu
Sandman
Ron Harris
Don Harris
Curt Hennig
Ken Shamrock
Gangreal
Mark Jindrak
Disco Inferno
Alex Wright
Road Warrior Animal
The Blue Meanie
Nova
James Storm
Chris Harris
Jay Lethel
Crowbar
Balls Mahoney
Joey Matthews
Spike Dudley
Axl Rotten
Christian York
Special entry 1
Special entry 2

Stables and tag teams
Bwo ( Blue meanie and Nova)
Amw ( James Strm and Chris Harris)
Boogie Knights ( Alex Wright and Disco Inferno)
Air Raid ( Aj and Paris Styles)
Harris Brothers ( Ron And Don
Ecw Originals ( Sabu,Sandman and Kid Kash)
Hardcore chair swingin freaks ( Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten)
Joey Matthews and Christian York

Sorry for double posting

**Hamada** · 08-06-2009, 08:37 AM

Whoah? 2002 TNA in Madison Square Garden? That's unlikely. Hell, 2009 TNA wouldn't even fill half of Madison Square Garden.

Rated_R Phenom · 08-06-2009, 08:44 AM

Spam: First Show coming up Tomorow

Rated_R Phenom · 08-07-2009, 02:44 AM

TNA monthly ppv 1
June 16th
Madison Square Garden

Mike Tenay: Hello im Mike Tenay and This is Don West and Don what do you make out of our first show?
Don West: It Sounds Great Mike and Airing LIVE on pay per view in Madison square garden lets get ready for the first match in Tna history

Match 1
Aj and Paris Styles ( Air Raid) v The Harris Brothers

( I am blares out to a good pop as aj and paris come out The then harris brothers song plays to a bit of heat)

Match Ending
Paris is getting dominated in a two on one assault but then paris leaps tags in aj throws ron to the Outside ( the illegal man) his a ddt on don 1 2 kick out then when he gets up hits the styles clash 1 2 3

Lengh 10:15
I am Plays as AJ and Paris Celebrate

Mike Tenay: Wow! What a match! Some great highflying action there by air raid
Don West: I Agree What a Amazing Match up

Jeremy Borash: Hi im Jeremy Borash the backstage interviewer and im here tonight with Scott Hall ( Big Pop From Crowd) So Scott Do you belive That you can win your first world title tonight?
Scott Hall: Yo Jeremy Tonight im gonna kick 19 other people asses out of that ring I don’t give a s**t who the mystery guys are Scott hall ( Signals the belt around his waste) is gonna walk out with the belt ooooo yeaaa!!

Mike Tenay: Interesting Comments from Scott there now its time for our next match
Match 2

Amazing Red v Jerry Lynn

Match ending
After a good back and forth match after Red Reversed a Brain buster by Lynn Red his a 718 followed by a Red Star Press ( Shooting Star Press) 1 2 3
Lengh 15: 46

After the match the two shook hands and hugged starting a partnership between the two

Don West: Wow a tag between this two would be of the Hook
Mike Tenay: I Agree 100% But Now its time for our main event a twenty man gauntlet for the gold

Main Event

20 Man Gauntlet for the gold, for the Tna World Heavyweight title

Match Ending

Last Five Men

Jeff Jarett, Scott hall DDP , Randy savage ( Former wwe champ 1 Bret Hart ( Former wwe champ 2)
Scott hall is on DDP Jeff On Savage and Hart is knocked down, Then DDp throws Scott hall out

[u]Scott hall Eliminated at 45:27 by DDP[/U]
ThenScott come back in and ….. ELIMINATES DDP

DDP Eliminated by Scott Hall at 45 : 32

While that’s been going Jeff Savage and Hart have been fighting then Ron and Don Harris pass jeff a guitar and he Hits Bret Sending him flying over the top rope

Bret Hart eliminated By Jeff Jarett at 46 : 24

Second Main Event
Tna World heavyweight title

Randy Savage v Jeff Jarett

Match overview
After a Back and Forth match Out of Nowhere Jeff Hits The STROKE!

1
2
NO kick out
Jeff Cant believe it he grabs that Guitar SMACKS IT OVER SAVAGES HEAD

1
2
2/1/2
No Kick out
Both men are Shattered lying on the ground both men get up, Jarett goes for another stroke savage reverses it pick him up PILEDRIVER! Savage then climbs the Top Rope DIVING ELBOW DROP!
1
2
3!
lengh 17:01
WINNER AND NEWWW TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! RANDY SAVAGE!Mike Tenay: Randy Savage RANDY SAVAGE IS THE FIRST TNA WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!
Don West: I Cant Belive it mike I just cant
Mike Tenay: Wow what a night Please buy next months pay per view until then thank you and goodbye

Please Review i will return every one
this is my first ever show on my first thread so dont be to harsh if its bad

just1988 · 08-07-2009, 04:59 AM

TNA Monthly PPV 1 Review

Announcer segments
Your intro was very short, only 2 lines of dialogue isn't enough for a build up of a show and seing as this is your first show, you really needed to catch the reader's attention and show off your writing ability, but you took a short cut. I suggest that you go back and add more to it, perhaps West & Tenay talking through the nights matches.

The Scott Hall interview was short and sweet, it get's the message across but it would be ideal if you had Borash asking more questions and maybe let us know what the crowd think of what Hall is saying.

Matches
This match was very short, it wasn't realy long enough, it would be enough if it was a quick 2 minute swaush match, but you said it lasted 11mins. You've only given the base of the match, which is good that you can write a basic base, but that's all it is, basic. You need to add a bit more filler into your match details, maybe a bit of "Styles hits the ropes and attempts a ________" or "Ron picks up Styles and ________", give us a bit extra detail, let us know that you know what you're talking about.

Same with match 2, you've just listed a few moves, i suggest when your doing matches you write out a begining, mddle and an end then fill in the gaps and it will make your matches longer. If you wanted Lynn & Red to become tag-team partners, you could of had Lynn get on the mic and compliment Red, then perhaps ask him to tag. Or preferaby you could have built it up on your next show.

The main event passed by far too quickly, you've basically just written highlights of the match, the final bit with Jeff Vs. Savage was fine, but you maybe should have wrote it in a standard paragraph rather than having it

all

seperated

like
this!

Overall
Overall this was a weak show, BUT when you take into account that this is your first ever BTB and that you're only 12 you did alright. You need to take more time on writing your shows, or maybe next time you write one, go back and then bulk it up with extra detail. Also, with you need to use colour in a more effective way, it seemed like you'd just thrown colour in there just for the sake of it to be honest.

I suggest with this show, you use the *edit* button, go back and add in extra things that you've missed, and maybe give us another 1 or 2 matches, remember this is your first show of the BTB so you need to grab people's attentions. I hope you don't take any of this critism badly, because i think you can do an okay show, you just need to take more time when writing and add extra detail in. Oh, and remember you're only a kid so you're gunna make mistkaes, this is what a show would of looked like if I had written it when I was 12, so don't be dis-hearten'd.

Right I've blabbed on enough now, good luck with the rest of your BTB, I hope you can improve, I'll be reading.