Re: Renegade™ Presents: WWE 2006 - The Return Of Sexehness
New Orleans; Louisiana
JR: Hello and welcome folks to Monday Night RAW! We are live from New Orleans and are no doubt in for a wild ride! Last week we learned Shane McMahon has challenged Triple H to an Ambulance Match at Armageddon after he once again cost The Game the WWE Title! We also saw Christian bloody Stone Cold Steve Austin in the middle of the ring!
King: All I can say JR is Austin instigated it all, he threw the first punch and Christian made him pay for it!
JR: But he took it too far King, he had no right to go as far as he did with Austin.
King: I wish you'd stop always defending Austin and his actions JR, sometimes you just have to admit he was in the wrong!
JR: All I can say is he'll have hell to pay if I know the Texas Rattlesnake. Also tonight we will find out who will face Edge for the WWE Championship at Armageddon as our main event will feature a 25 Man Battle Royal. We've also got former tag partners and best friends Mark Jindrak and Lance Cade facing off in singles action and much more tonight!
The crowd comes alive with a huge ovation as Triple H storms to the ring, looking in one bad mood. Trips takes a mic and gets into the ring, seething with what's happened to him recently
Triple H: It almost seems as if in the past year, I've gone full circle.
Triple H: I worked my way back to the top, only for the year to end as it started, with me standing here without the one thing that matters more to me than anything else, the WWE Championship!
The Game again stops for a moment
Triple H: I was put through hell and back just to reclaim the title, and once I had it, it was like living every day with a bulls eye painted right on my chest!
Crowd is unsure of how to react
Triple H: Vince McMahon...
Ungodly heat for Vince
Triple H: You did everything in your power to keep the WWE Title off me. You tried and Vince, YOU FAILED!
Triple H: You struck a failed deal with John Cena
Heat for Cena
Triple H: You paid my best friend Shawn Michaels to turn on me! You even used his desire to be in one more championship match by getting him to "sell" you his soul!
Triple H: You put me in Lumberjack matches, handicap matches, Last Man Standing matches, Streetfight's, you guest refereed matches I was defending my title in, and EACH AND EVERY TIME I STILL CAME OUT ON TOP!
Triple H: Time and time again I proved just why I am The Game, and why I am that damn good!
Triple H stops as the crowd cheers and a *Triple H* chant starts up
Triple H: And at Unforgiven, I felt like I had lifted all the weight off my shoulders. I beat Shawn Michaels. Then, I took Vince McMahon and I made sure he paid for all the crap he put me through. I made sure that old man would NEVER dare to shatter my dreams again!
The Game then takes a deep breath before continuing
Triple H: And then, Shane McMahon...
Masssive heat for Shane O Mac
Triple H: You showed up at Survivor Series, and took it all away from me!
The Game shakes his head
Triple H: Not only then, but last week on RAW, I had Edge beaten, I was moments away from taking my title back, and you did it again.
Triple H: And then after all you've done, you have the nerve to challenge me to a match at Armageddon? I can promise you Shane, to tell you I am going to just accept that challenge and beat you in it is an understatement.
Triple H: You're going to see a new, even more ruthless and brutal Cerebral Assasin than you've ever seen. I am going to take these hands, and I am going to use them to beat you, to hurt you, to maim you!
Triple H is trembling as he fumes and the crowd roars as The Game's intensity level increases
Triple H: When I'm done with you Shane, an ambulance is going to pale in comparison to what you'll really need, and that is a damn hearse!
Triple H: Make no mistake about it Shane, this is the biggest mistake you have made in your entire life, and come Armageddon, for you, it's GAME OVER!
The crowd erupts as Triple H drops his mic and his music hits again. The Game stares out into the crowd for a moment before doing his iconic pose when suddenly his music cuts off and we here a voice come over the sounds
???: Hey Hunter, up here!
Camera pans around to the titantron to reveal SHANE MCMAHON! The crowd shits on Shane with some big heat and Trips glares at Shane who smiles back at The Game
Shane: Calm down there Hunter, I'm safe out here in the WWE Studios, no where near you or any of the people of New Orleans.
Boos for Shane
Shane: I'm glad you've accepted my challenge to meet me at Armageddon, Hunter. It gives me the chance to properly gain revenge for what you did to my Dad, Vince McMahon, back at Unforgiven!
More heat and a *Shane Sucks* chant begins
Shane: Do you have any idea how hard the last few months have been for me and my family Hunter? Huh? Do you have ANY idea? My father has been bed ridden, nursing the injuries you inflicted on him that night back in Salt Lake City! He's had to deal with chronic pains in his back, migranes, you really damaged the man. And you come out here and have the nerve to talk about how hard your life has been lately? Hunter, you have no idea what it's like to wake up every day, and wonder if your very own father's condition has worsened. If he's still ok, that he hasn't suffered shock, that he hasn't lost the feeling in some of his damaged limbs.
Shane pauses for a moment
Shane: You took something from my family that night. Since then, Vince has been a shell of his former self. He feels embarassed, his pride has been severly dented. You've turned my father into a different man, and you've hurt our entire family in the process. Things haven't been the same since, and that may never change.
The crowd isn't buying into the story from Shane, continuing to boo him and chanting *Bullshit*
Shane: So in return, I decided it was only fair that something you cared about so much, was taken away from you. That title means the world to you, I would know, I had to put up with you and your constant begging to my father in years gone by to give you title match after title match when you weren't champion. Now, you've lost it, and you know how it feels. It hurts, doesn't it Hunter? Yet the comparison of losing a championship to your father's personality pales. Which is why at Armageddon, I am going to make sure you leave the arena in that Ambulance.
Triple H: Stop trying to make me and these fans give a crap about you and your family Shane!
Triple H: Do you think for one moment that I care what your "poor" family is going through? Compared to what I've had to suffer this year, one man's dented pride is nothing! Stop trying to cast a sympathy vote to explain your actions, you're only doing this because your father, Vince McMahon, does not want me near the WWE Title!
Triple H: But I am "The Game" Shane, I know how to play it the best, and you're not doing too well at the moment with these stories and sneak attacks!
Shane: Make no mistake about it Hunter, I realize you're more powerful than me, I know you're "The Game", I know you're the "Cerebral Assassin" but that is not going to stop me. I will make sure this family has the closure it deserves when I make you bed ridden with several injuries. I will scar your personality. I will shatter your pride, your massive ego, and leave you with nothing.
Triple H is fuming at Shane from the ring, while Shane looks equally intense from the comfort of the WWE Studios as he leans into the camera
Shane looks intensely into the camera, right to Triple H, who stares a hole right back at Shane as we go to a commercial break
Mark Jindrak vs Lance Cade
Solid opening contest doesn't reach any real point of excitement with the crowd not really caring for Jindrak as a face and just shitting on Lance Cade as he taunts them. Jindrak gives his former partner a touch up in the early going but the match ends with Cade putting Jindrak away with the PERFECT SLICE!
Winner @ 6:58 - Lance Cade
Cade has his hand raised and s******s down at his former partner as the crowd give him some heat. Cade then gets down next to his former partner and tells him to have fun at the bottom of the food chain
JR: Well Lance Cade has beaten Mark Jindrak folks.
King: Great showing by Cade JR! I'm predicting a bright future for this kid!
JR: He has potential King, but he may need to iron out that motor mouth of his and earn some respect first.
King: Respect is overrated JR, these days anyways.
Backstage now and Todd Grisham is standing by with Monty Brown & Jonathan Coachman
Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen I am here with Monty Brown and The Coach, and guys, you requsted this air time?
Coach: That we did Todd. Last week you witnessed this man, The Alpha Male, pick apart and destroy a former WWE Intercontinental Champion, a former Hardcore Champion, a former Tag Team Champion, in under just 3 minutes!
Coach: The Alpha Male also buried The Undertaker ALIVE at Survivor Series!
Massive heat for that
Coach: And last week, Kane decided he was going to step up and try to tame The Alpha Male! Well Kane, you may be big, you may be feared by many, but Monty Brown is not one of them. You were lucky I did not let Monty fully off the chain last week, because had I done so, you would've been joining your brother in obscurity!
More heat as Coach hands Monty the mic
Brown: Kane, you wanna step into the squared circle with me? You picked the fight last week, and now I'm challenging you to finish it at Armageddon.
Brown: Me and you, one on one. And I'll teach you fear Kane, the fear of The Alpha Male. And the fear of THE POUNCEEEEEEEE!~
More heat as Monty & Coach walk off
We are back and are with Maria
Maria: Hi, I'm Maria and I'm here with The Rock!
The crowd goes insane as Rock steps into the picture and a booming *Rocky* chant breaks out
Maria: Rock to-
Rock raises his hand to Maria, quietening her as the *Rocky* chant continues. Rock soaks up the cheers from the fans from a moment before taking the mic from Maria gently and coughing his throat clear before tilting forward
Rock: FINALLY...THE ROCK HAS COME BACK...TO NAWWLINSSS!
The crowd marks like fuck for the cheap pop
Rock: Now The Rock knows tonight, the big main event is the Number One Contender's Battle Royal. The winner goes onto Armageddon to face Edge, The Rated R Superstar!
Heat for Edge
Rock: The People's Champ is of course, in the battle royal.
Rock: And The Rock is gonna paint a picture for the people. It's The Big Easy, it's Monday Night RAW, it's the main event, it's The Rock and a whole bunch of jabroni's!
Rock: And The Rock's gonna layeth the smacketh down on each and everyone one of them. The Rock doesn't care who you are, where you're from, what your sexual preference is, because you're still a jabroni to The Rock! You don't have names to The Rock, you're just a number. Jabroni number one, jabroni number two, and on and on it goes!
Rock: Jabroni's flying left, right and centre all over the top rope, and The Brahma Bull storming into Armageddon to make sure Edge once again enjoys his pre-mature title run!
Rock then suddenly stops his high energy antics and looks into the camera
Rock: And John Cena...
Massive heat for Cena
Rock: The Rock knows you're in the match tonight. The Rock has not forgotten what you did to him at Survivor Series. And don't you think for a second The Rock will EVER forget what you did, because The Rock...WILL...NEVER...FORGET...
Rock looks into the camera for another moment, before tilting his head back
Rock: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLL...WHAT THE ROCK...IS...COOKIN'!
The crowd goes wild as Rock walks off leaving Maria there smiling like a total airhead
JR: The Rock can certainately talk the talk, but he's proven in the past he can more than walk the walk to back it up folks!
King: The Rock doesn't care who he aggravates JR, as he said, everyone's a jabroni to The Rock!
JR: Rock has surely gotta be one of the favourites for tonight's main event and there are some big names in that match!
*BRINGIN' DA HOOD 2 U*
The crowd pops as the World Tag Team Champions come out, pumping the crowd up ahead of their match here. They get their crunk on for a bit on the stage before playing to the crowd again as they get to the ring
*Paparazzi* hits and out comes the MNM trio to some heel heat as usual. They look smug after their attack on Cryme Tyme last week. Melina graces us with her entrance routine making JTG & Shad mark, which infuriates MNM as they jump the Tag Champs and we're underway
Tag Team Match; Non Title
Cryme Tyme vs MNM w/Melina
Well worked match between the two teams sees Cryme Tyme really take MNM to the woodshed early on, with the energetic JTG and the powerhouse Shad proving a formidable task for MNM to stop, and Mercury is lucky to escape a Victory Roll from JTG who countered a previously blocked Hurricanrana attempt. Nitro came in but didn't fare much better as he ate a Big Boot from Shad and only just managed to kick out.
The turning point sees Melina distracting the referee while her boys flatten JTG with a Double Superkick which JTG barely kicks out from.
From here MNM begin to dominate JTG, keeping him isolated from big Shad much like what Cade & Jindrak did last week. JTG tries to battle back with some right hands but he is grounded by Nitro with a Swinging Neckbreaker.
Finally JTG is able to tag out and Shad gets in after JTG scores with a Lariat to Nitro. Shad comes in and mows down Nitro with a shoulder block, then hits Mercury with a right hand. Shad sends Nitro to the ropes and catches him with a Flapjack! Mercury scales the turnbuckle and leaps off looking for an Axe Handle, but Shad sees him coming and plants a right hand right in Mercury's exposed chest as he comes down! Shad now goes to spring off the ropes but is tripped by Melina! This allows MNM to take advantage and hit the SNAPSHOT! Nitro covers while Mercury holds back JTG who tries to break the fall up 1...2...3!
Winners @ 12:34 - MNM w/Melina
MNM get the win thanks to Melina and have surely put themselves in a position to challenge for the Tag Titles with a victory over the current champions
JR: MNM just stole a victory thanks to that she-devil Melina!
King: Who cares how they won JR, the important thing is that they DID win! They're gonna be the next tag team champions, I can feel it.
JR: Cryme Tyme will have something to say about that King I'm sure.
We switch backstage to Todd Grisham, who is standing by with Brock Lesnar
Grisham: Brock Lesnar tonight you are entered in the battle royal to determine who faces Edge for the WWE Championship at Armageddon. Are you confident you can win tonight and be the man challenging Edge in 20 days time?
Lesnar: I'm always confident Todd. I'm The Next Big Thing. I fear nobody. Last week I took my first step towards the WWE Title when I defeated Rob Van Dam an-
Grisham: Albeit a little controversially?
Lesnar looks at Grisham as if to say "What the fuck did you just say?" and Grisham gulps heavily, his hands starting to shake
Lesnar: There was nothing controversial about it Todd. I beat RVD pillar to post last week, I got the 3 count when I pinned him, that's all that matters in this business. I dominated that match and he was lucky he only fell to a roll up and not the F5.
Lesnar frowns as Grisham before continuing
Lesnar: And now tonight is the next step. I'm gonna win the battle royal, I'm gonna go to Armageddon and I'll be leaving there with the WWE Championship around my waist. Get ready RAW...HERE COMES THE PAIN!
Lesnar walks off as we go to commercials
We return live and *HAVE A NICE DAY* hits and the crowd get to their feet to greet the General Manager of RAW, Mick Foley! Foley plans to the fans for a while before taking a mic from Lilian Garcia and getting into the ring
Foley: First of all, let me say it's great to be back in New Orleans!
Crowd erupts for the cheap pop as Foley gives them the thumbs up
Foley: However, it is not great to have to come out here and talk about what happened last week between Steve Austin and Christian!
Heat for the incident
Foley: Now for the past few weeks, even before the Survivor Series, these two have not been seeing eye to eye, but last week, the line was crossed.
Foley shakes his head
Foley: Christian, lately you've been acting like you're above the rest of the locker room. Like it's somehow your divine right to just be given a WWE Title shot. And when you don't get your way, you act like a little kid who can't have a lollipop, and you play the blame game.
Foley: And I am fully aware that the only person you seem to be blaming, is me.
More boos before the crowd backs Foley up with a *Foley* chant
Foley: And not only that, but you're starting to hurt this show. You cost our team the victory against SmackDown!, and last week you and your Problem Solver bloodied Stone Cold Steve Austin in this ring, like a bunch of savages!
*Christian Sucks* chant starts up
Foley: As General Manager of RAW, I do not and will not condone these actions, and that is why you're on your final warning Christian. One more act of selfishness, of distaste, of savageness, I don't care, one more moment of madness and I'm afraid action is going to need to be taken. BECAUSE I WILL NOT HAVE MY SHOW OVERRUN BY SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY'RE ABOVE THE REST!
Foley: I was going to take action tonight, and remove you from the Battle Royal bu-
*JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES*
The crowd comes alive with a rowdy mixed response, easily leaning towards heat tho, as Christian and Tomko step out on stage. Christian already has a mic in hand
Christian: Sup New Orleans?
A few marks cheer for that, but it's quickly drowned out by heat
Christian: Mick Foley, the fact that you even considered removing me from tonight's battle royal just shows you are not fit to hold the position you do!
Christian: I mean, I was the one provoked by Austin last week, and I fought back in self defense.
More boos as Christian smirks
Christian: Stone Cold Steve Austin hit me first, he threw the first punch, and just because I ended up being too much for the old bastard to handle, I'm the bad guy in it all and Austin's the victim?
Christian can't help but laugh
Foley: Christian, you're still in tonight's battle royal, but I am warning you...
Christian: What Foley? You're warning me? For what? You should be warning Stone Cold Steve Austin that next time he tries to pick a fight with someone, make sure he can actually hang with them!
Heat for Christian
Christian: If anything, you should be suspending Austin for attacking this company's most prized asset!
Christian: As for this talk of taking action. You wouldn't deprive all my peeps worldwide their weekly dose of Vitamin C would you?
Christian: Better yet, don't even answer that. All you need to know is that tonight I will be winning the Battle Royal, and I will be the one going to Armageddon to face my brother, and take the WWE Title from him!
Mixed reaction for that
Christian: And then, with me as your brands champion, maybe you'll finally begin to show me the respect a superstar like me deserves!
Foley rolls his eyes
Christian: And I'll carry this wild excuse for a show on my back if I have to, coz that's how I roll!
Christian's music hits again and he smiles at Foley as we head to a commercial break
Back to ringside and we have a diva's match (EXCITING!~) to return to
Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix
Both divas give a good go at it here, and it's the recently returned Glamazon who looks extremely impressive as she ends up having too much for the fan favourite Mickie, as she blocks a MICK KICK attempt and plants her with the DOWN IN FLAMES for the win!
Winner @ 5:27 - Beth Phoenix
Phoenix looking dominant again and Phoenix goes outside and takes a microphone before getting back into the ring
Phoenix: For the past six months before Survivor Series approached, I had to sit on the sidelines and watch one by one as these weak bitches (points to Mickie as an example) stepped up, tried to take the Women's title off Trish Stratus, and fail!
Phoenix: Well now Trish, I'm back, and I'm gonna make you wish you NEVER brought me to the WWE in the first place, because I'm gonna take that damn title off you!
Phoenix waits, seemingly wanting Trish to come out and accept her challenge, but she gets no response
Phoenix: Fine Trish, if you won't do things the easy way, I guess I'll have to get your attention the hard way...
Phoenix turns to Mickie James and the crowd boos as she pulls a dazed Mickie to her feet. Phoenix gets Mickie in position for another DOWN IN FLAMES...BUT HERE COMES TRISH STRATUS TO A HUGE POP! Trish slides into the ring and Phoenix sees her coming, dropping Mickie in the process. Phoenix goes to clothesline Trish who ducks it with the MATRISH!~ Trish then unloads with right hands to The Glamazon, rocking her back. Phoenix hits the ropes and comes back RIGHT INTO A CHICK KICK...BUT PHOENIX CATCHES IT AND FLOORS STRATUS WITH A HAMMER CLOTHESLINE! The crowd boos as Phoenix now picks up the Women's Championship belt and waits for Trish to regain her footing before DRILLING HER WITH THE TITLE BELT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! More heat for The Glamazon as she turns back to Mickie James and NAILS HER WITH THE BELT ALSO! Phoenix then raises the title to the crowd, getting a fair amount of heat as she does, standing over Trish & Mickie after a dominant showing
JR: My God! The Glamazon just destroyed the Women's Champion Trish Stratus and Mickie James with consumate ease!
King: This Beth Phoenix is something else JR, she just took on two of the best women's wrestlers around today and took them both out.
JR: Is Trish's LONG title reign about to end at the hands of The Glamazon?
King: It's looking like it might JR, Phoenix is one of the most dominant diva's I've ever seen in this business.
Backstage now and Todd Grisham is with the Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas
Grisham: Guys, tonight Charlie goes one on one with AJ Styles, who's certainately had your number in recent weeks Shelton?
Shelton: And? So what, he's pinned me? Big deal.
Grisham: Pinned you twice in twenty four hours actually.
Benji & Haas glare at Grisham, who gets the message to shut up
Shelton: Look AJ, you've been annoying me recently boy. No matter what happens, you seem to pull something out of your ass and fluke a victory. I guarantee it, had we gone back and relived those matches, that you winning wouldn't be an option. I am the best pure athlete in this company, so don't believe the hype you've been getting lately boy.
Shelton hands the mic to Haas
Haas: AJ, tonight, I'm gonna take out all the frustrations you caused me earlier this year. You may have beaten me at Summerslam, and then at Unforgiven, but it all ended with Shelton here taking the IC Title off you anyway! And now tonight, I finally get the chance, one on one to take you apart. There's no Rhyno, no Carlito, no Maven to help you out tonight AJ, just me and you. And when I'm done with you, you'll be begging to go back down south!
Benji & Haas walk off to some heat as we go back to ringside
The crowd gives a good pop as AJ Styles walks out on stage, flipping his hood up and extending his hands out as the pyro falls behind him. AJ walks to the ring looking confident in himself after his good run of results as of late
*World's Greatest* hits and out comes Charlie Haas to moderate heat, accompanied by Shelton Benjamin. Shelton gives Haas a few final words before Charlie gets into the ring
AJ Styles vs Charlie Haas w/Shelton Benjamin
The two put on a good contest, much reminiscent of their previous encounters from earlier in the year. AJ's pace hands him the early advantage as he seems to be a step ahead of Haas. First spot sees AJ clear the ropes and take out both Haas & Benji with a SUICIDE PLANCHA to a big pop from the fans.
AJ almost does Haas in with a Crucifix Pin 1...2..Haas gets a shoulder up. AJ and Haas end up back on the outside where the tables turn as Shelton is able to distract AJ long enough for Haas to club him from behind and send him crashing into the steel steps. Haas now mounts the offensive and works over AJ. Haas hits a Buttefly Suplex and makes a cover 1...2..kickout. As the match goes on Haas tries to lock the HAAS OF PAIN on, but AJ FLIPS THROUGH IT AND SCORES WITH THE PELE KICK TO HAAS! The crowd erupts for the great showing of athleticism by Styles. AJ scores with a flurry of right hands as he fights back into the match and then scores with a clothesline, taking Haas down. Haas gets back up and eats a Wheel Kick from AJ who then covers 1...2.kickout by Haas. AJ now mounts the top turnbuckle as a groggy Haas gets up, but Shelton gets up on the apron, only for AJ to kick him off! AJ now turns his attention back to Haas and leaps off BUT IS CAUGHT IN MID AIR BY HAAS WHO PLANTS HIM WITH A SIT OUT POWERBOMB! The crowd goes wild for the spot and Haas makes the cover 1...2..3-NO! AJ somehow manages to get his foot on the rope! Haas cannot believe it and brings Styles to his feet and hooks him up with the EXPLODER SUPLEX...BUT AJ LANDS ON HIS FEET! Haas turns around and is kicked in the stomach, and then AJ scores with the STYLES CLASH! Cover 1...2...3!
Winner @ 10:58 - AJ Styles
The crowd comes alive after a thrilling match and Styles has pulled off a big win here against the odds. Shelton is on his knees on the outside, eyes open wide in horror as AJ celebrates the victory with the fans
JR: What an incredible match King, AJ and Haas put on another terrific contest!
King: That was some much JR, one of the best of the year, and it's only been ruined by the result.
JR: Aw come on King, Styles deserved it and he got it! This man is making a believer out of alot of people, myself included, that he can win back the Intercontinental Championship! And look at Shelton Benjamin, he's horrified and that's because he knows when AJ does get his shot, he may indeed get beaten by someone who's just as good as he is!
JR: Nothing's impossible King, and Styles is on a roll at the moment.
Styles continues to celebrate with the fans as Shelton helps Haas up the ramp, staring back at AJ with a slight look of worry on his face
We return and are backstage with Maria
Maria: Hi guys, I'm Maria, and I'm back here with John Cena!
Major heat for Cena who steps into the picture
Maria: John, we are just moments away from tonight's battle royal to see who will face The Edge at Armageddon for the WWE Championship. Are you going to win?
Cena looks at Maria with a perplexed look before whispering "The Edge" to himself in confusion, before snapping out of it comically, even if the fans don't appreciate Cena's humour
Cena: Of course I'm gonna win. I've waited long enough for a chance to get back to the top, and now it's come along to me, I'm gonna make sure I take it. I've got the hunger back, and that's bad news for everybody else!
Maria: Aren't you at all worried about the other wrestler's in the ring, like The Bahaman Bull, The Rock?
Crowd laughs at Maria's stupidity while Cena shakes his head and takes the mic off her
Cena: You mind?
Maria shakes her head
Cena: See it don't matter whether The Rock is in it or not. He's not gonna stop me, that fool can't see me! RAW's gonna learn, I'm like a mangled penis, ya'll just can't beat me!
Marks for that one
Cena: Tonight's Battle Royal is the chance once again to shine, John Cena's going every yard, the whole damn nine!
More boos for Cena
Cena: New Orleans, ain't ever seen, someone like me, I'm half man, half wreckin' machine!
Cena: Rock, you may talk about the SmackDown! Hotel and Jabroni drive. Well I'll take you on a trip to Word Life Junction, and leave you more embarassed than Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction!
Few marks for that one too
Cena: As for the rest of the locker room, yo it don't matter who follow, ya'll just like a vaccuum, ya'll suck and ya'll swallow.
More marking for Cena's calls here
Cena: Show the world I got the ruthless aggression, hell they should write that in the bible, when I get possession of the WWE Title!
Heat again for Cena
Cena: Rock, thinkin' you gonna win tonight, callin' me a jabroni? Yo fool I'll straight up destroy you, and if you ain't down with that, ya'll can blow me!
Cena does the "You Can't See Me" taunt to the camera and walks off after an entertaining flashback to his rapper gimmick
JR: Well John Cena certainately isn't gonna make any friends after that.
King: John Cena doesn't need friends JR, he's my pick, he's gonna win this thing!
JR: Well I gotta go with The Rock who's definitely not gonna be happy with what Cena just said, and adding it onto the fact he cost him the chance to be the champion back at Survivor Series, I wouldn't be surprised to see Rock lay the smack down on Cena's candy ass.
King: Don't steal The Rock's catchphrases JR!
The WWE Champion Edge makes his way out to the usual boos and jeers with Lita alongside him. Edge comes around to the commentary table and takes a seat and is handed a headset by The King
JR: Well the WWE Champion is here folks, and he's going to be joining us on commentary.
King: Show some respect JR, this is the WWE Champion, stand up and greet the man properly!
JR: Oh will you sit down you kiss ass, we've got a match to call!
Edge: I'm just here to scout the opposition JR, no need to bust a gasket like usual, it's not like Stone Cold is taking someone to the damn woodshed.
King: Ahahahahahahahaha, JR, did you hear that?
JR: How the hell could I not, I'm sitting a metre away from the man!
As the duo look set to continue to niggle at each other
*HERE COMES THE PAIN*
Out comes Brock Lesnar to a negative reaction from the fans here. Lesnar does his usual routine before hopping onto the apron and letting his pyro fly, looking all ready to keep the good start to his RAW career going tonight
Kane storms out after the pyro explodes to a big pop from the crowd and wastes no time getting to the ring, setting his own pyrotechnics display off
*ONE OF A KIND*
The pyro crashes around the titantron and the crowd erupts with a huge pop as Rob Van Dam is next out to an extremely positive reaction here in New Orleans. RVD gets into the ring and does his R-V-D pose as we cut to a commercial
Back live and we've been joined in the ring by Rhyno, Maven, Tommy Dreamer, The Dudley Boyz, The Johnnies, Rob Conway, Matt Striker & Paul Burchill
Crowd shits on Monty Brown as he heads to the ring with a purpose, and The Coach by his side. The Serenghetti Beast gets in the ring and eyes up The Big Red Machine Kane, eager for round two after last week
*RIDE THE LIGHTNING*
The crowd comes UNGLUED as a surprise entrant in tonight's battle royal, the recently released STING makes a shock appearance to the delight of the New Orleans crowd. The superstars already in the ring look shocked as the Stinger makes his way down to join the crowded pack
*JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES*
The crowd explodes with a mixed reaction as Captain Charisma makes his way to the ring looking as cocky as ever, despite this being no easy feat, and the so far (AUSPICIOUS!~) absence of one Stone Cold Steve Austin
The ring and ringside has really filled up now with Val Venis, Carlito, Goldust, Test, Chris Masters and the Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin all out and raring to go too
*IF YA SMELL*
The crowd goes nuts with an electric ovation as The Great One, The Rock makes his way out to a booming reception here. Rock walks right through the group of superstars on the outside, most don't seem to be too pleased at being called a jabroni earlier, as Rock mounts the turnbuckle from the apron and soaks up the usual staggering ovation he receives
*MY TIME IS NOW*
The crowd's mood changes as John Cena makes his way out to some pretty heavy heat here from the fans. Cena taunts them before locking eyes with The Rock, who locks eyes right back and the crowd's excitement is building with just one entrant left before we get underway
The crowd blows the roof off with a defeaning ovation as Stone Cold marches towards the ring, while Christian looks like he's gonna shit a brick inside the ring. His Problem Solver, Tyson Tomko looks to take Austin out, but Austin ducks his Big Boot attempt, and hits Tomko with a STUNNER! Austin then gets into the ring, and the bell is rung!
25 Man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal
Winner Gets a WWE Championship Match at Armageddon
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Rock vs Rob Van Dam vs Kane vs Sting vs Carlito vs Rhyno vs Maven vs The Dudley Boyz vs Goldust vs Tommy Dreamer vs Val Venis vs John Cena vs Christian vs Brock Lesnar vs Monty Brown vs Shelton Benjamin vs Test vs Chris Masters vs Matt Striker vs Paul Burchill vs Johnny Parisi vs Johnny Jeter vs Rob Conway
The match starts off with a wild brawl as expected with the bigger storylines being showcased in the opening moments as Austin/Christian, Rock/Cena, RVD/Lesnar & Kane/Brown all begin the match fighting each other, while the first elimination sees both members of The Johnnies eliminated by The Dudley Boyz!
Eliminated @ 1:12 - Johnny Jeter
Eliminated @ 1:14 - Johnny Parisi
Eventually the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar showcases his power as he takes one look at Goldust who breathes out right in front of him by scooping him on his shoulders and F5'S GOLDY OVER THE ROPES AND OUT OF THE MATCH!
Eliminated @ 2:36 - Goldust
Not long after that, Monty "OWNS" Brown flattens Val Venis with a sickening POUNCE!~ and then pulls the lifeless face up and dumps him out of the match
Eliminated @ 2:55 - Val Venis
Rob Conway tries to eliminate Kane to no avail as Kane goozles him and then tosses the former Resistance member over the rope with one hand!
Eliminated @ 3:29 - Rob Conway
The match continues with superstars pairing up all over the ring with some odd encounters and the next elimination sees Carlito, Rhyno & Maven who have been friends as of late, teaming up and getting rid of Chris Masters!
Eliminated @ 4:51 - Chris Masters
The faces then however meet their match as Brock Lesnar wipes out Maven with a clothesline, taking him out of the ring with ease!
Eliminated @ 4:57 - Maven
Lesnar then catches Rhyno charging in with a Belly To Belly Suplex and blocks Carlito's BACKSTABBER attempt by grabbing the ropes as it's tried for by Carlito. Meanwhile we see The Rock lay the smack down on Matt Striker and eventually finish it off with a big right hand which takes Striker out over the top rope to the floor
Eliminated @ 5:28 - Matt Striker
Stone Cold shows no fear of Brock Lesnar and begins to stomp a mudhole in Lesnar while Rock has been attacked by Test and John Cena is trading blows with Tommy Dreamer. Rob Van Dam meanwhile sees Rhyno down and scores with the Rolling Thunder to his fellow ECW alumnus. Kane is rocking Christian in one corner while The Dudley Boyz team up on the legendary Sting in another. Amazingly we go about a minute before we see another elimination as Rock ducks a Big Boot attempt from Test who tumbles out to the floor!
Eliminated @ 6:14 - Test
Sting fights off both Dudley Boyz and then sees Shelton Benjamin propped up in the opposite corner and charges across, scoring with the Stinger Splash! Shelton stumbles out into the hands of John Cena who tosses the Intercontinental Champion out of the ring!
Eliminated @ 6:31 - Shelton Benjamin
Cena then turns back to Tommy Dreamer and plants him with an FU! Heat as Cena taunts Dreamer with the "You Can't See Me" gesture before picking him up and tossing him out of the match!
Eliminated @ 6:44 - Tommy Dreamer
Austin meanwhile sees Christian cowering in the corner, barely having done anything the entire match and goes for him to a huge pop from the fans, but Tyson Tomko slides into the ring! Tomko grabs Austin from behind and pulls him away from Christian, but Austin kicks Tomko in the groin! Tomko hops around the ring clutching his privates and hops right into a STUNNER! The crowd erupts as Austin's move sends Tomko crashing out of the ring and Stone Cold flips the Problem Solver off, but CHRISTIAN SNEAKS UP ON AUSTIN AND ELIMINATES HIM FROM THE MATCH!
Eliminated @ 7:19 - Stone Cold Steve Austin
Massive heat as Christian has eliminated Austin thanks to his buddy Tomko's distraction. Austin's eyes widen in fury as Christian walks away, grinning from ear to ear, BUT AUSTIN GETS BACK INTO THE RING AND TURNS CHRISTIAN AROUND...STUNNER! The crowd goes nuts as Austin gains some revenge for last week aswell as just now. Austin drops down next to Christian and talks some trash before getting up and motioning for someone to eliminate him. Rock gladly lends a hand to Austin as he sends Christian flying out of the ring!
Eliminated @ 7:40 - Christian
Meanwhile The Dudleyz are setting Lesnar up for the 3D, when Monty Brown springs off the ropes and scors with a POUNCE!~ to D-Von! Brown then throws D-Von, and Lesnar blocks Bubba's right hand and sends Bubba out right after his brother from another mother!
Eliminated @ 7:52 - D-Von Dudley
Eliminated @ 7:56 - Bubba Ray Dudley
We see Paul Burchill charge at Rhyno, who sees it coming and elevates Burchill over his shoulder, but Burchill is able to hold onto the ropes and hang on! Burchill gets back onto the apron, but RVD COMES OFF THE TURNBUCKLE WITH A STRETCH KICK, SCORING ON THE JAW OF BURCHILL AND ELIMINATING HIM!
Eliminated @ 8:09 - Paul Burchill
The ring is emptying at a solid speed at this rate as Carlito hits a Springboard Elbow to Lesnar, and then Rhyno follows it up with a GORE to the Next Big Thing, taking him down for the while. Carlito gets up and Kane nails him with a Big Boot right in the face, sending Carlito out of the ring over the top rope!
Eliminated @ 8:35 - Carlito
We are now down to eight men in the form of The Rock, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sting, Rhyno, John Cena, Brock Lesnar & Monty Brown. Brown goes right for Kane immediately while RVD goes for the downed Lesnar. Rock stares a hole right through John Cena as the crowd comes to their feet for the face off, but Rhyno tries to interrupt it, charging at The Rock, WHO CATCHES RHYNO WITH A THUNDEROUS ROCK BOTTOM! Rock has taken his eye off John Cena however, WHO SNEAKS UP ON THE ROCK AND SENDS HIM TO THE OUTSIDE...NO...ROCK REVERSES IT MIDWAY AND SENDS CENA OUT OF THE RING! Crowd goes wild as Rock gets rid of Cena in surprising circumstances, and John Cena is irate on the outside as Rock mocks him from in the ring until he's clubbed from behind by Sting.
Eliminated @ 9:46 - John Cena
As Rock & Sting go at it to a huge reaction from the fans, Monty Brown counters a CHOKESLAM attempt by Kane and drives the big man to the ropes, looking to rid the match of it's biggest remaining man. RVD & Lesnar are still going at it too, and Lesnar runs through Van Dam with a shoulder block before seeing a groggy Rhyno struggling back to his feet. Lesnar grabs Rhyno and sends him out of the match, and we're down to six!
Eliminated @ 10:03 - Rhyno
Rock begins to get the upper hand on Sting and plants him with a Spinebuster! The crowd comes alive as Rock tosses his elbow pad into the sea of cheering fans and springs to the ropes...WHERE HE IS TRIPPED AND DRAGGED OUTSIDE BY JOHN CENA! The crowd shits on Cena as he whips Rock into the steel ring post at ringside. In the ring Kane scores with a Flying Clothesline to Monty Brown and Sting & RVD team up to try and eliminate Lesnar, while on the outside CENA LEVELS ROCK WITH A MONITOR! The New Orleans crowd are shitting on Cena here as he takes apart the Spanish announce table. Cena looks back to the downed Rock and drags him over to the table, SCOOPS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS AND DELIVERS A HUGE FU TO THE ROCK RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! It's not long before a *Holy Shit* chant breaks out and the crowd boos Cena heavily as he exits to the back, smug with what he's done here by taking The Rock out it seems. Inside the ring Kane is laying into former friend RVD while Sting lights up Monty Brown with some knife edge chops. Brock Lesnar meanwhile takes a moment to catch his breath in the corner. Monty Brown slugs it out with Sting before drilling him with the Alphalution. Brown now sees Kane leaning against the ropes, choking RVD in the corner and comes up behind the Big Red Machine looking to eliminate him, and Lesnar sees this and charges in, dumping both Kane & Brown out of the ring at the same time!
Eliminated @ 12:58 - Monty Brown
Eliminated @ 12:58 - Kane
Kane & Brown don't seem to give a damn as they begin to brawl with each other, with Kane knocking Brown over the barricade into the crowd and following the Serenghetti over. Brown & Kane trade blows out through the crowd as we cut back to the ring and are down to 3 (mathematically 4 with The Rock still technically in this match). Sting begins to light up Lesnar with some chops, backing him to the corner. Sting puts the boots to Brock, keeping him stuck in the corner before backing out and giving the hot crowd a "Woo" which they return in kind. Sting then charges in with a Stinger's Splash...BUT IS CAUGHT BY LESNAR AND DUMPED OUT OF THE RING!
Eliminated @ 13:25 - Sting
At ringside The Rock begins to stir, holding his ribs in pain as in the ring RVD & Lesnar are remaining. Van Dam takes it Lesnar, laying into him with right hands. RVD then goes for a boot to the gut which is caught by Lesnar, only for RVD to score with the Step Over Windmill Kick! Lesnar stumbles backwards to the ropes and RVD follows in with a clothesline, the momentum taking both men over...BUT LESNAR HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES AND VAN DAM CAN'T! RVD is gone to the disappointment of the crowd as Lesnar manages to get back in the ring, and The Brahma Bull slides in on the other side gingerly.
Eliminated @ 14:02 - Rob Van Dam
Both men get to their feet and the face off brings the crowd to their feet, with the history of 2002 coming flowing back to both men. Rock is wincing in pain while Lesnar looks a little fatigued too as the two move in on each other. Lesnar tries to cheap shot Rock, who blocks it and unloads with right hands to Lesnar! Rock attempts an Irish whip but Lesnar reverses it and catches Rock with a thunderous Overhead Belly To Belly Throw! Lesnar now gets to his feet, looking down at the injured Rock who is still holding his ribs and makes a motion that this one is over. Lesnar brings Rock up and lifts him onto his shoulders looking for the F5...BUT ROCK SLIPS OUT THE BACK AND DROPS LESNAR WITH THE PEOPLE'S DDT! Crowd erupt as Rock scores and is back in the match now. Both men down. A booming *Rocky* chant breaks out in the Lakefront Arena. Lesnar begins to stir and slowly pulls himself up as THE ROCK KIPS UP! The crowd goes wild as Rock now stalks Lesnar, readying for his finisher and Lesnar turns around into a ROCK BOTTOM...NO! LESNAR BLOCKS IT AND SCOOPS ROCK ONTO HIS SHOULDERS! LESNAR TAKES ROCK TO THE ROPES AND F5'S HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE...BUT SOMEHOW, THE ROCK LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON! Lesnar thinks he's won as he raises his hands, but then he turns to see Rock on the apron. Lesnar charges at Rock, BUT ROCK LOWBRIDGES THE ROPES AND LESNAR TUMBLES OUT OF THE RING, THE ROCK WINS!
Eliminated @ 15:43 - Brock Lesnar
The crowd busts a nut as The Rock wins the match and falls back into the ring, battered and exhausted after a huge recovery effort here. Lesnar holds his head in his hands on the outside, extremely disappointed with himself while The Rock's music hits to signify his victory
Winner @ 15:43 - The Rock
Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at Armageddon
Rock uses the ropes to pull himself up and The People's Champ mounts the turnbuckle, soaking up the cheers from the fans and locking eyes with his opponent for Armageddon, Edge, who stands up from his commentary position at ringside and raises the WWE Title back at The Rock
JR: By god The Rock did it!
King: I can't believe it JR, I thought Lesnar was going to win for sure!
JR: I thought you said John Cena was your favourite?
King: He was JR, but Lesnar made a believer out of me. He dominated parts of that match and eliminated a ton of guys!
JR: And perhaps on another day Lesnar would've won it, but The Rock! The Rock! The Rock has his chance at Armageddon folks! He's gonna face Edge for the WWE Championship, what a night it's been! We gotta go, don't miss next week, I have a feeling it's gonna be off the hook!
Rock & Edge continue to stare down as the show fades to black
This show seems a little short promo wise and for that I apologize, just can't explain it but I wasn't feeling the promo's at all this week, bar the Trips/Shane one which I thought was solid. Most emphasis was of course on the main event and such, expect more depth to the feuds to be made next week, this week was more of a showcase of what's to come tbh
As always, I will do my best to return all reviews when I can <3.