The Hammerstein Ballroom explodes as PWX’s theme song, Gangsta’s Paradise, echoes through the arena. The New York crowd are all on their feet in anticipation of what is to come here tonight. The predominantly smark crowd are marking like little girls, they can’t wait for the new era in professional wrestling to begin.
Hello ladies and gentleman, and welcome to Pro Wrestling Xplosion: Icons. I’m Joey Styles and thank you for joining me here tonight, for what is set to be a big piece of wrestling history. This is the inaugural Icons and this is also, officially, the beginning of a new era in the wrestling industry. Plainly put, this is going to be BIG~!
As Styles is talking the fans are chanting ‘Oh My God’, in homage to the greatest commentator of his era.
These fans are just as pumped as I am, for what is sure to be an incredible night. We’ve got some of the world’s top talent backstage and there sure to be putting on some incredible matches. For example, tonight in this very ring, we’re going to crown the very first PWX World Champion, when ‘The Whole F’n Show’ Rob Van Dam goes head-to-head with the ‘Icon on Icons’, Ultimo Dragon. And is that isn’t enough for you, ‘The Death-Defying Maniac’ Sabu takes on Necro Butcher in a special New York Deathmatch, where the only way to win is to bust your opponent open before making them submit. That and much, much more, right here, tonight~!
Ken Doane’s music hits, completely cutting of Joey Styles. The ex-WWE superstar gets a bad reaction, being booed ruthlessly. Yet Doane seems to be unaffected as he appears from behind the curtain, draped in the finest Italian suit and sporting rather expensive looking shades. Doane flashes a smile as he enters the ring, all the time being booed. Doane slowly removes his shades before taking a microphone from ringside.
The arena goes silent and the fans collective head swivel around looking for the aforementioned free beverages.
Ok, now I’ve got your attention stupid sum-bitches to shut the hell up, I can explain why I’m here. Everybody keeps asking me why I’ve joined this company. Everyone keeps wondering why the hottest commodity in wrestling has joined PWX. Some of you idiots think I’ve done this for the money.
Calling the fans ‘idiots’ brings about plenty of heat.
I’ll have you people know that my father is one of the richest man in Las Vegas. He owns countless Casino’s and has more money in his back pocket right now than the lifesavings of every one of you people, combined!
‘BORING, BORING’ chants.
And you know why? Because he’s a winner. And I’m continuing his legacy. I too, am a winner. And that is the true reason I am here…to win. I’ve grown up in Casino’s, and I’ve see the fine line between winning and losing, and I’ve always promised myself, that I would stay on the winners side. It’s this drive which has lead me too not needing my father’s money, and becoming a ‘High Roller’ in my own right. And next week, I’m going to prove that I am a winner by winning the PWX Television title…
It doesn’t matter what you people think, the match has already been made. Me against some poor bastard, and when all is said and done, I’ll stand right here with 10lbs gold around my waist…as a winner~!
‘Shut The Fuck Up! *claps x5*’
You people might not like me now, you might be jealous, but I don’t think you people realise all the hard work that comes with being a winner. You see, being a winner means that I have to help other people become winners.
The fans quieten down, intrigued.
That’s right! I might not like doing it, but I’m going to give someone in this audience the chance to become a true winner. One of you people in the crowd are going to step in the ring with me, and if you can beat me, you win $25,000 of my own money. So who wants to try there hand, who wants to challenge me, who wants to Gamble~!
After a short while, hundreds of hands shoot up. The fans know this could be very dangerous, but the prospect of $25,000 dollars is just too much to reject. Doane jumps out the ring and selects a fan (planted, obviously) from ringside. Security help the fan over the guard rail and into the ring. A ref runs down to the ring and rings the bell…
Random Fan vs. Ken Doane
The fan looks nervous as he bounces around the ring, circling Doane, being very cautious. After a few seconds, unexpectedly, Doane just falls to the canvas. Doane just lays motionless in the centre of the ring, allowing the fan to get the pin and win the match. The fan’s a bit hesitant but eventually goes for the cover. The ref slides on his knees and begins the count: 1...2...No!!!
Suddenly, at 2, Doane flips the fans over and into a pinning position of his own, pressing the significantly smaller fans shoulders down onto the mat: 1...2...3!!!
Ken Doane def. Random Fan
Doane jumps up, laughing uncontrollably. He dusts his suit off before going to help the fan up. The fan grabs Doane’s hand, but ‘The High Roller’ lets go, causing the poor man to fall to the canvas again. This only increases the volume of Doane’s cackle.
Ladies and gentleman, that’s what happens when you mess with a ‘High Roller’, baby!
The fan goes to leave the ring…
Whoa, calm down, Barbara! This party ain’t over yet. How about you come over here and shake hands with a real winner!
The fan isn’t sure what to do. Eventually, he rejects the offer.
Get your ass back here!!!
The intimidated fan goes back into the ring and looks down at Doane’s outstretched hand.
Savour this moment, punk, because you will never experience a moment this great in your pitiful excuse of a life again.
From nowhere, Doane slaps the taste right out of the fan’s mouth, sending him to one knee, clutching his cheek. The fan tries to get up but Doane kicks him to the floor before going after his legs. Within a few seconds he’s locked in the Doane Zone (One Legged Boston Crab). The victim screams in agony as the fans boo furiously. But after a few seconds, they’re cheering as D’Lo Brown emerges~!
Get ‘em D’Lo!!!
Just as Brown slides into the Ken releases the Doane Zone and flees up the ramp. An angry D’Lo grabs the microphone that Doane was using.
Listen up Doane, you talked about beating ‘some poor bastard’ for that T.V Title next week, huh? Well it turns out you’re the poor bastard, because the person your going to be facing…is me!!!
Big Pop as Doane looks on, a mix of confusion and anger evident by his expression.
Now that’s what I’m talking about! So you betta get to running, coz next week, you gonna get the ‘Lo-Down’ on Mr. Sky High, playa playa!
When we return from the break, the fans realize they are in for a real treat as ‘The Prince Of Gold and Silver’ Mistico makes his way to the ring. The Mexican luchadore bounce off the ropes a few times and limbers up in preparation for his opponent.
‘Black Suits Coming’ hits and Jody Fleisch jumps out from behind the curtain, wearing black shades and a T-Shirt with the words ‘Zero Gravity’ emblazoned across it. He jumps into the ring and shakes hands with his fellow high-flyer. With that the ref rings the bell…
Jody Fleisch vs. Mistico
Early on in the match, the two high-flyers jumps around the ring looking for an opening. The pair scout each others movements while waiting for the other man to attempt an attack. Eventually, Jody Fleisch loses patience and throws a right hand, which Mistico blocks and turns into a sunset flip. The move is successful but Fleisch immediately hops up and nails the luchadore in the side of the head with a kick. From here Fleisch controls the match for a while, using his array of Tae Kwon Do kicks, making sure Mistico can’t mount any offence. The highlight of Fleisch’s period of control comes when he tries to whip Mistico into the corner, only to have it reversed into another Irish Whip. However, just when it looks like Mistico has pulled things back his way, Fleisch jumps up to the top rope and hit’s the Whisper In The Wind.
After a while Mistico manages to battle his way back into the match making it an even contest. The two men exhibit phenomenally paced chain wrestling and the momentum shifts several times between the two fearsome competitors. The match is crying out for one big move to turn the volume up even further, and give one man control. This finally occurs when Fleisch goes for a Powerbomb, Mistico looks in real trouble. Until, the masked man begins to land big left hands which momentarily daze Fleisch. This provides the perfect opportunity for Fleisch to use his trademark Huracanrana…
Ay Dios Mio!!!
…The move sends Jody over the top rope and onto the unforgiving, lightly padded arena floor. But Mistico isn’t finished yet, not by a long shot. The Mexican Hot Shot jumps out onto the ring apron before nailing Fleisch with a precision Asai Moonsault. The fans go nuts for this fantastic move, and it even manages to bring about some ‘This Is Awesome’ chants.
The matches conclusion comes like this: Mistico goes for a Superkick but Fleisch slide underneath it and then explodes The Prince Of Gold and Silver’s jaw with a Superkick of his own. The kick jolts Mistico’s head back and send him to the mat. Fleisch flashes a smile to the crowd before mounting the top rope and playing to the crowd. Fleisch goes for a Split-Legged Moonsault!!! No!!! Mistico gets his knees up just in the nick of time. Fleisch ends up standing in the centre of the ring, clutching his ribs. Mistico hops up and grabs Fleisch by the head, before placing it between his legs. The place goes silent, everyone wondering what incredible move Mistico has in store for them this time. And when it’s delivered, no one is disappointed as Mistico hit’s a move he calls The Mexican Destroyer (Flip Piledriver)!!! Mistico covers! 1...2...3!
Mistico def. Jody Fleisch
Mistico jumps up onto the top rope in celebration and throws his hands up into the air. Meanwhile, Fleisch struggles to his feet. Mistico dismounts and the two men throw each other a look of respect. Amidst the ‘That Was Awesome’ chants, Mistico outstretches his hand, offering it up to ‘The Phoenix’. The chants have now changed into those of ‘Shake His Hand!’. Fleisch looks at the fans before choosing to take there advice and shake Mistico’s hand. The two men stand in the centre of the ring as the fans cheer the show of sportsmanship. With that, the camera switches to Joey Styles at the announce table.
That match has just laid down a precedent for all our wrestlers, that’s the standard that everybody has to get to. But moving on, I want to give all of you great fans a quick glimpse into the future. Next week, right here in the famous Hammerstein Ballroom we’re going to have two title matches. As you heard earlier the TV Title will be up for grabs when ‘Mr. Sky High’ D’Lo Brown squares of with ‘The High Roller’ Ken Doane. And, Beer Money Inc. will face The Dragons in a tag team match, with the winners earning the honour of becoming the very first PWX Tag Team championships. Unfortunately we’ve got to go to an ad break, but keep tuned folks, because things are only going to keep getting better.
When we return, pretty much everybody is on their feet as ‘The Final Countdown’ echoes around the Ballroom. Bryan Danielson is in the ring in his wrestling gear, pumping the fans up for his very first match in Pro Wrestling Xplosion.
Once the fans settle, Super Crazy hops out from behind the curtain wearing his signature poncho. The fans give him a good reception but the usually happy-go-lucky luchadore barely acknowledges them. Instead he just slides into the ring and urges the ref to get the match going.
Bryan Danielson vs. Super Crazy
The two men partake in a fantastic string of chain wrestling with both men trying to isolate the other man with submission holds, yet neither man can retain complete control. However, after several minutes this is broken when Danielson applies a Hammerlock, and Super Crazy breaks free and rolls to safety. Crazy then sprints towards the ropes and charges at Danielson, who drops to his knees to counter with a Fireman’s Carry. Crazy incredibly ends up rolling across Danielson’s shoulder’s and smashing Danielson in the face with a kick. The kick sends Danielson onto his backside, and that further opens the window of opportunity for Super Crazy. The luchadore ends his hot streak by nailing him with a running flip Neckbreaker.
A few minutes later, Crazy is still in control. He hit’s a combo of three hard right hands before finishing off with a dropkick which sends Danielson to the mat. Crazy then climbs out the ring and onto the apron. He’s going for the springboard! The place goes quiet as Crazy soars towards Danielson, can he hit it, no! ‘American Dragon’ catches him in mid air in a power bomb position. However, Super Crazy isn’t out of ideas as he tries to go for a Huracanrana. Crazy falls back so his head is at Danielson’s knees as he desperately tries to pull his man over with him. Dragon counter’s! Danielson eases Super Crazy onto the mat and grabs ‘The Insane Luchadore’ by the legs before clamping in a Boston Crab. Crazy howls in pain as Danielson leans further and further back, increasing the pressure all the time. Crazy reaches out in desperation, trying to grab the bottom rope, and after an almighty struggle manages to grab hold of it, effectively breaking the hold.
The match’s finish goes down like this: Super Crazy manages to regain his composure and battles back. He throws Danielson into the corner before hitting a few kicks to Dragon’s chest. The Mexican the backs off before charging again and connecting with a Monkey flip which brings about applause from the fans. Crazy hardly notices though and keeps his composure. The Luchadore jumps onto the middle rope before mounting the top rope, looking down at the grounded Danielson before turning around. Moonsault!!?? No!!! Danielson slides out of the way. Then, quick as a flash it’s revealed that ‘The Best In The World’ was playing possum. He rolls behind Crazy’s body before applying the Cattle Mutilation, from there it’s only a few minutes before the opponent taps.
Bryan Danielson def. Super Crazy
Danielson celebrates in the centre of the ring as Crazy storms to the back. However, ‘The Best In The World’s’ celebrations are short-lived as Kurt Angle appears at the head of the ram, holding a microphone and clapping sarcastically.
Congratulations Bryan. That was some performance.
The fans are cautious of Angle’s unusually friendly manner.
Y’know I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen all the praise you’ve get. I’ve heard that nickname: ‘The Best In The World.’
Danielson nods, agreeing with the moniker.
Well I just what to let you know something, Dragon. You can never use that nickname until you prove it at the top level. And Bryan you have never done that.
But me? I’m an Olympic Gold Medallist, I’m a 9 time World Champion. I’ve won titles from here to god damn Tokyo~! I’ve proven myself, to be ‘The Best In The World’.
You can only be the internet’s darling for so long, eventually you’ve got to step up. And personally, kid…
Danielson’s face lights up with anger at the word ‘kid’.
I don’t think you’ve got what it takes to do that.
‘Let’s Go Dragon’ chants
So, unless you want a wrestling lesson from the real ‘Best In The World’, I suggest you stop using MY title.
Angle walks to the back, leaving Danielson in the ring furious with the comments.
The camera goes backstage where Rob Van Dam is walking down a corridor. Terry Funk appears from behind a door in the corridor and turns to RVD…
Rob Van Dam:
Hey kid, looking forward to your match tonight?
Rob Van Dam:
I can’t wait. Tonight RVD becomes Mr. Monday Night!
I’ve watched you for years kid, and I’m so proud of you.
Rob Van Dam:
Thanks Terry. Coming from a legend like you, I really appreciate it.
Y’know what Rob? How’s about you give this old-timer a chance of a ringside seat. Have the old Funker in your corner, keep my eye out for any funny business y’know.
Rob Van Dam:
I’d like that.
Both Van Dam and Funk shake hands before walking down the corridor together.
We return from the break to see the ringside area full of all kinds of weapons, ranging from tables to barbed wire. It’s time for the New York Deathmatch!!! Sabu enters first to ‘Haku Blues’, getting a very good reaction from the fans, all of whom are old enough to remember the Original ECW where Sabu flourished.
His opponent follows soon after. Necro Butcher emerges to ‘Personal Jesus’ and jogs to ringside. He’s obviously desperate to get on with the Deathmatch. He looks right in his element as he examines the weapons at ringside.
A New York Deathmatch
Necro Butcher vs. Sabu
The match is full of crazy and innovative spots, but here is some of the best: Butcher brings in a chair into the ring and immediately drills it into Sabu’s head. ‘The Shoeless Wonder’ then poses for the fans, but his moment of hesitation proves costly as Sabu hit’s a dropkick onto the chair, driving it into Butcher’s face. Butcher falls back onto the ropes before finding himself being clotheslined over the top rope. Necro’s body flips over and lands directly flat on a table. The arena pops wildly as light bulb goes off in The Death-Defying Maniac’s head. Sabu sets the chair up and performs his signature point to the sky. Sabu goes for the Triple Jump Leg drop Through The Table!!! He Hits it! Butcher and Sabu crash through the table, hitting the floor hard. Sabu goes on to rip Butcher’s head open with a wrap of barbed wire, Sabu’s job is half done.
Soon though, Butcher isn’t the only one sporting a Crimson mask. Necro grabs 6 fluorescent light tubes and, the icing on the cake, a wrap of barbed wire. Sabu jumps to his feet after taking an earlier barrage of kendo stick shots and looks right into the white of Necro Butcher’s eyes. Incredibly though, The Death Match specialist refuses to use the light tubes, at least not yet. Butcher instead drops the wrap of barbed wire and passes three of the six tubes to Sabu. Then, finally, Butcher explodes one tube over Sabu’s head. Sabu responds by smashing one of his own. Butcher responds with a shot, and Sabu hits one too. The two men stagger around the ring after absorbing the shots, but both men are too proud to fall down and lose the challenge Butcher set down. Both men have two tubes left, Sabu swings first! But Butcher uses his tube to block the shot, causing both of them to shatter. Both men survived the light tube showdown, but then from nowhere, Necro Butcher uses a quick drop toe hold. The move causes Sabu to falls face first onto the barbed wire wrap, causing a wide gash across Sabu’s head. Now both men are bleeding profusely, it’s just a matter of who quits first.
Both men make several attempts to make the other submit. Sabu tries to make Butcher say ‘I Quit’ by forcefully pushing a barbed wire baseball bat into his back, but Butcher refuses to quit. Later on, Sabu also attempts to force a submission by repeatedly driving a broken light tube into Butcher’s head, but that attempt also fails. Necro himself manages several submissions attempts including trying to choke Sabu using the edge of a table and repeatedly pushing a kendo stick in between his legs, but on every attempt ‘PWX’s Evel Kneivel’ pulls off an escape. Just when it looks like this match will never ends, one of the most shocking occurrences in recent wrestling history takes place….CM PUNK APPEARS FROM THE CROWD~!
What the hell is he doing here~!? He’s not meant to be here~! He’s not signed to this company~!
Punk waltzes through the crowd, and once we get a close-up we see he is holding both a kendo stick and a bunch of cables. Punk hops over the guard rail and into the ring, where he walks right up to Necro Butcher. Butcher stares back confused, but ready to defend himself should he need to. The two men are toe-to-toe, not flinching at all, until….Punk quickly turns around and flattens Sabu with the Kendo Stick. Sabu collapses to the ground, the blood still squirting out from his head. Punk proceeds to wrap the cables around the neck of Sabu and pulling at the furiously~!
He’s going to kill him, someone stop this match!
Sabu’s face quickly turns even redder as he tries to take in some breath, but he can’t and is forced to use his last bit of breath to say the words: ‘I Quit’. The ref rings the bell, Necro Butcher wins the New York Deathmatch, but with a big helping hand from CM Punk, a man who as far as we know, isn’t even signed with the company~! Why is Punk here? Why did he attack Sabu? For now, we have no answers.
Necro Butcher def. Sabu
CM Punk stands over Sabu’s body, shouting and cursing at him. With that, the camera cuts backstage, where Beer Money Inc. are standing by.
Now in case y’all don’t know, we are Beer Money Incorporated. The best dam tag team in the world today.
And next week, me and ‘The Cowboy’ James Strom are gonna prove just that, by becoming the PWX Tag Team Champions.
Not that it matters, but our opponents are going to be…The Dragons.
Ha Ha, how can they beat the greatest tag team in the world, when half the crowd can even pronounce there name. In fact what are their names?
SUSHI and Naomuncho Miyagi, I think.
Well what ever their names are, they’re going to learn the hard way, that it pays to be Roode!!!
So, Dragons, I suggest you stay at home in the Dojo, because if you turn up, y’all gonna be cursin’ your dam luck!
Because your lookin’ at the next PWX Tag Team Champions…
Roode & Storm:
When we return The Black Out (Ruckus and Human Tornado) are already in the ring, preparing for their match. Suddenly, their opponent’s music hits which causes a major pop. Homicide and Hernandez appear from behind the curtain and immediately start playing to the fans, doing their utmost to get them pumped for the match ahead. L.A.X slide under the ropes and are immediately attacked, kicking the match off with a big bang.
L.A.X vs. The Black Out
A few minutes into the match, Homicide and Ruckus find themselves in the ring as the legal men, the two stare each other down before going into a collar and elbow tie up. Homicide catches Ruckus on the way in and hit’s a hip toss before applying a side headlock. Ruckus kicks up off the mat causing Homicide to break the hold, he then hops up onto his feet, allowing the two men to lock up again. This time Ruckus uses the hip toss into a side headlock, but Homicide breaks out in the exact same why Ruckus himself did earlier. The two give a quick glare to each other before going toe to toe, head to head. Ruckus takes advantage of this and hit’s a quick slap. Homicide retaliates by throwing a punch but Ruckus see’s it coming and takes him down with a drop toe hold. The fans are then delighted by the some wonderful athleticism as Ruckus performs a front flip over Homicide’s body and then smashes him with a low dropkick to the face. The move brings about great applause from the fans and Human Tornado, who has now been tagged in. Tornado continues with the athletic offence by going top rope and diving down with a Shooting Star Press. Tornado covers 1...2...No!
For the next few minutes Blackout tag each other in and out and continue to work Homicide’s ribs and chest with a vast array of high-flying moves. At one point, Ruckus hit’s a quick array of kicks to make Homicide groggy before tagging in Human Tornado. PWX’s resident Pimp springboards from the top rope and catches Homicide in a DDT position. It looks like we could be about to witness the final nail in the coffin…but No! Homicide counters into the Northern Lights Suplex. The battered Puerto Rican climbs to his feet and launches himself towards his partner Hernandez. He gets the hot tag! Hernandez flies in like a juggernaught, destroying all before him, hitting Ruckus with a Spinebuster and then nailing Tornado with a Military Press Into A High Knee Lift. The Black Out scurry to their corner and begin formulating a plan, whispering in each other’s ears as Hernandez beckons them to try and take him on. The two men split and cautiously launch a half-hearted attack. Ruckus goes first but just get’s launched over the top rope.
Hernandez and a rejuvenated Homicide dominate the match from here, controlling both members of the opposition simultaneously. Until, Ruckus flees and begins to run away from Homicide, who of course gives chase. The two men sprint around the ringside area, ‘Cide in hot pursuit but Ruckus just managing to stay ahead. It looks like the race will never end until, from nowhere, Ruckus changes direction quickly and cracks ‘Cide with a spear. The momentum causes both men to hurtle backwards and collide hard with the ring steps, with Homicide taking the full force of the blow. It looks like we’ve got ourselves a 2 on 1 situation right here. Ruckus and Tornado like earlier a re cautious to go for Hernandez, fearing an attack, or so it seems for a little while, because after a few seconds, Ruckus demands that Human Tornado leave the ring and let him deal with Hernandez. Unsurprisingly, Tornado jumps at the offer. Ruckus points to his chin, offering it up for a free shot. A smile appears on Hernandez’s face as he throws a clenches his fist ready for the hook. He pulls his arm back ready to pull the trigger when all of a sudden, Human Tornado slides into the ring and hit’s a low blow…It was all a rouse! Tornado with the School Boy Roll Up! 1...2...3!!!
The Black Out def. The Latin American Xchange
The match may be over but Black Out aren’t finished. Ruckus and Tornado jump onto Hernandez beating him senseless in a position where the big man can’t defend himself. Te deliver repeated punts to the liver, stomps and punches. After a while, Ruckus leaves the ring and grabs Homicide, bringing the other L.A.X member into the ring. Then, Human Tornado pulls out two pair of handcuffs from his pants. He and Ruckus proceed to cuff both L.A.X members to the ring ropes before grabbing a pair of chairs. Both men administer chair shots to their opposite number, knocking them senseless.
With both Puerto Ricans incapacitated, it looks like this horrific beating is over as The Black Out leave the ring. But it’s not long before they return, Tornado grabs a bag from ringside which he brought with him and unzips it, revealing stack of unmarked bills. Both men take a quick smell of the money before removing to big piles each. Ruckus and Tornado then begin stuffing the money into Hernandez and Homicide’s mouths, aggressively pushing it down their throats. The Hammerstein Ballroom is transformed into a beacon of heat by these horrendous actions. But this doesn’t seem to affect Tornado and Ruckus who walk to the back, throwing money all around, both sporting platinum and gold grins.
Help rushes to ringside and soon both member’s of L.A.X are uncuffed, but they both look in a bad way, coughing up the money. The two men are helped to the back. However, The New York fans applause for L.A.X proves one very important thing, they may be down, but they are far, far from out.
Once L.A.X are safely in the back and the fans have settled down, we continue with the show. ‘The Masterpiece’ hits and Chris Masters waltzes out cockily as the fans boo him furiously. Masters strut shows just how arrogant he is, and his smile gets even wider due to the heat.
The following is a Masterlock Cha…
Masters grabs the mic from the ring announcer forcibly.
The following is a Masterlock challenge! Where any mere mortal in the back can come and try to do the impossible: to escape the greatest submission move and try and get one over on ‘The Masterpiece’.
Not like that’s likely to happen.
So which of you imbeciles in the back want to take this chance. Who wants to go for glory, only to find themselves tapping out, like a little bitch!
Masters waits impatiently, begging someone to come out and try to prove themselves against him. After a short wait, we and Masters get an answer as, of all people, Father James Mitchell appears. Masters breaks out into hysterics.
Ha Ha, please, this must be a joke. Get your ass out of here old man, someone send a real challenge out for me.
Mitchell blatantly refuses and continues to walk towards the ring with his walking stick.
This is called ‘The Masterlock Challenge’, that means it’s meant to be ‘challenging’. But look at you, I could make you tap out by giving you a Chinese burn. You don’t know what your getting yourself into.
Mitchell lays down his walking stick and requests that Masters locks on his signature hold.
I’m warning you, Old man. You don’t wanna…
Masters stops mid-sentence and slaps on his signature hold, tensing his massive muscles. But the move is suddenly broken as ‘The Mexican Angel Of Death’ and James Mitchell’s illegitimate son, Mesias appears from underneath the ring and slides into the squared circle. Mesias grabs the walking stick and smashes it over Chris Masters head, knocking him out almost immediately on impact. Masters slumps to the mat in a heap of muscle. Mitchell shakes off his shoulder before looking down at ‘The Masterpiece’, cackling uncontrollably.
Meanwhile, Mesias’s face remains completely full of rage, his demonic eyes transfixed on the knocked out Masters. Mitchell demands a microphone from ringside and once he’s got it he stands in the centre of the ring, gently rubbing his beard, twisting it to the extent where it is almost as twisted as the souls of him and his son. Eventually, Mitchell speaks.
Ha, ha, ha.
The fans aren’t really sure how to react: They could cheer him and his son for attacking a heel, or they could boo him for the sinister act they have just committed. The majority go for the second option - I mean, it’s not like Mitchell has always been a fan favourite.
The notion of the troubled genius is a delicious one. The cult status from death has become little more than an adventure, with hoards of self-proclaimed talents willing to embark upon it. Van Gogh, Hendrix, Cobain - Posthumous heroes, Legends of the cemetery. The public lining up for their turn in the gold-plated casket.
Mitchell leans down further and further, getting right into Chris Masters face.
To these people, full recognition in death is a far more attractive proposition than little in life. Alive we are denied credit, but in death there is nobody to torture the genius. No vices, no demons, no poverty, no bullies. A generation of outcast’s have had their collective genius shunned by the desirables. The abyss has undergone metamorphosis, and has become a tantalising sanctuary of limitless recognition. This is the short-sightedness of the public psyche.
Heat for Mitchell calling the fans ‘short-sighted’.
Yet I am not of the public. I am a misfit, a loner. I am the only true remaining ‘tortured genius’. Yet, unlike those who hope for my status, my demise is not an event I beckon. I deserve my recognition for my talents and I am going to take it.
The Minister’s tone become more and more sinister as he goes on.
The people who have pushed me down will get there just desserts as, in life, I take what is rightfully mine. The physical embodiment of our limits will be torn apart. You people would never give me my recognition, so me and my son, Mesias, will take it from you. The Hunter has become the hunted….
Through out that last section, Mitchell thrusts his finger into Master’s cheek.
…The good die young, but the great last forever!
Mitchell’s head swivels around and he begins to look deep into the camera, his wild eyes aflame. He backs off and then points to Mesias. The camera proceeds to zoom in on ‘The Mexican Angel Of Death’, his demonic eyes transfixed on the viewer.
We return with the camera scrolling around the stands, showing all the ecstatic fans who have packed into ‘The Home Of PWX’ - The Hammerstein Ballroom. The lights go out and the place is shrouded in darkness, and after a few seconds strobe lights dance around the ring. The Ballroom turns silent with intrigue, and when the reason for the lights is revealed, the fans aren’t disappointed. Ultimo Dragon steps out from behind the curtain, garnering a very favourable reaction from the fans. The Puroesu Legend struts confidently to the ring, but it’s clear he’s full of purpose. Dragon slides into the ring and performs a few stretches in preparation for tonight’s main event - The PWX World Championship Match!
A few seconds pass and the fans are at their loudest of the night, in eager anticipation for the second challenger’s entrance. Everyone knows who it is, but there’s still an undeniable electricity in the air. The production crew hold off for a bit longer than usual, torturing the fans. However, eventually the flip the switch and ‘Walk’ by Pantera explodes through the speakers. All eyes shoot to the stage. The legendary Terry Funk emerges first, getting a great reaction. The Funker plays to the crowd for a bit, before finally, ushering the challenger out. Rob Van Dam enters and the Ballroom explodes. Funk and RVD shake hands before making their way to ring, high-fiving everyone on the way down the ramp. Van Dam draws his entrance out by doing his ‘R….V…D’ on every turnbuckle before finally telling the ref he’s ready to go. Referee Nick Patrick hoists the golden belt above his head before telling the timekeeper to ring the bell.
For The Vacant PWX World Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Ultimo Dragon
Both men take turns controlling the tide in this match and it’s packed full of very close falls. Van Dam’s biggest moment mid-match comes like this: Both men lock up, and after a little bit of jostling, Van Dam sweeps his opponents legs and floors him. Van Dam tries to continue his attack but Dragon catches him with Monkey Flip…but Van Dam lands on his feet incredibly! Dragon hops up but Van Dam goes for a high kick, which is easily ducked underneath. Dragon strikes back with a trio of solid leg kicks which push RVD back, he then tries to complete the combo with a lariat. No! Van Dam goes underneath it and smashes Ultimo down hard with a German Suplex. The fans gasp at the sheer ferocity of the bump - Ultimo landed right on his head. Van Dam doesn’t seem to concerned though -he plays to the fans on the turnbuckle as Terry Funk claps in appreciation. Dragon arises on unsteady legs and has to lean against the ring ropes, but he doesn’t receive any sympathy as Van Dam proceeds to clothesline him over the top rope. Ultimo collapses onto the floor before dragging himself into the corner of the guard rail. ‘The Whole F’n Show’ gets up onto the top rope before facing away from Dragon. The fans hold their breath as RVD performs a split-legged Moonsault, but doing it the opposite way than usual so he propels himself outside the ring. Dragon does his best to guard himself but Van Dam lands on top of him, with both men hitting the lightly-padded floor.
Ultimo Dragon has plenty of control throughout the match too, including many close falls. The closest of which occurs this way: Dragon and RVD lock up before Dragon applies a hammerlock. The living legend of the Jr. Heavyweight Division and former J-Crown winner pulls violently on Van Dam’s arm, doing his best to tear his shoulder from the socket. After a while, Dragon is satisfied the damages has been done and pushes his opponent away. Van Dam however, reacts extremely quickly by skipping up onto the top rope and going for a back elbow. But No! Dragon stops it with a kick to the base of Van Dam’s back which stops the Michigan native in his tracks. Dragon hooks Van Dam’s arms! Tiger Fuckin’ Suplex!! 1...2...Kick Out!
The matches main comedic moment went down like this: Van Dam hit’s a series of kicks to Dragon, a leg kick, a mid-height one before finishing with one to the head. Ultimo shakes it off and then tries the exact same combo but Van Dam manages to block them all. Van Dam flashes a toothy grin while Funk cheers him on like a proud father. Dragon recomposes himself and goes for the combo again, but once again he can’t tag his man. Van Dam laughs this time and it’s clear that Dragon is getting frustrated. But once again, The Japanese Warrior composes himself and throws some punches. But RVD gets his hands up and deflects every single one of them. Dragon turns away in disgust of himself while his opponent performs his signature ‘R…V…D’ taunt which brings about a round of applause, headed by The Funker himself. This time Van Dam mimics a boxing trainer by using his palms as targets. Van Dam puts on low, and Dragon responds by kicking. RVD then puts his right palm mid-height and Dragon punches it. Van Dam signals for Dragon to do the same, but put his hand high. Dragon obliges and incredibly RVD soars up in the air and kicks the temporary target. Even Dragon is forced to applaud that incredible feat. Van Dam proceeds to put his hand at the exact same height. Ultimo backs off and observes the challenge that has been thrown down for him. He mentally measures the gap between his foot and the target, almost trying to figure out if his war-worn 42 year-old body can manage a feat which would be frankly be fantastically impressive for someone half his age. Dragon looks up and then…Pow! (Batman Sound Effects FTW). The arena collectively laugh as Dragon smashes the foolish Van Dam in the face with a Superkick. RVD just learned the hard way about the true value of experience.
Unfortunately this match had to finish eventually, and here is how that happened. Both men are out on their feet, but RVD has just enough left to hit a Spinning High Kick which sends Dragon down to the floor. Van Dam plays to the fans before springing up onto the top rope. Everyone is on their feet, could this be all. Not Yet! Ultimo quickly gets up and gets onto the same turnbuckle as his opponent. Both men trade left hands trying to knock the other one off and gain a major advantage in the match. After the exchange it looks as if Dragon has got control as he goes for the Superplex. The first attempts is blocked, as is the second, and as is the third. Dragon unleashes his hold and hit’s a few more right hands. He points to sky and spring himself up into the air. He’s trying for the Frankensteiner! No! Van Dam pushes him in mid-air, causing him to come down hard on the canvas. Everybody in attendance know’s what time it is. It’s not Hammer Time. It’s Not Chico Time. It’s FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH TIME~! 1...2...3!!!!!
Rob Van Dam def. Ultimo Dragon
Ladies and Gentleman, We have a Champion and it is ‘The Whole F’n Show’ - Rob…Van…Dam~!
Van Dam is handed the belt before thrusting it up into the air above his head. The fans show their appreciation through a mix between ‘This Is Awesome’ and ‘R…V…D’ chants. Terry Funk rolls into the ring and embraces RVD, which cranks the volume in the Ballroom up even higher. As a disappointed Ultimo Dragon makes his way to the back, he loos back at the ring and bows. Van Dam returns the show of respect by bowing too. Meanwhile, Terry Funk gets a microphone from ringside.
Man, Rob. That was one hell of a match.
The fans pop in agreement.
I’ve seen you from your first day back in that Philly bingo hall, right up until today, when you stand on top of the world.
Chants of ‘R…V…D!’
I’ve seen a lot of talent come, and a lot go, but kid, I always knew there was something special about you. Your attitude, your ability, your work ethic. I wanna say how proud I am of you.
The two shake hands to a big pop.
But before we go out and tear it up with these great fan…
I got one thing I wanna ask you.
The Champ gives a ‘go ahead’ signal.
I’m getting a little old now, but I love to put in those old Texas tapes and relive the days when the Funker ran wild.
But even an old dog like me, would love them glory days to come around one more time. And that’s why I’m asking you, man to man, friend to friend, to defend that title against me, right here next week.
The fans cheering clearly shows what they think.
Rob Van Dam:
I know I ain’t exactly in my prime. And yeah, I might be a little bit middle-aged and crazy, but this Amarillo heart is still a-beating. And as long as it is, I will always be ‘The Hardcore Legend’ Terry Funk.
Van Dam nods, acknowledging this.
There might be stronger guys, there might by faster guys. But nobody in that locker room, not even you Rob, has got the Terry Funk heart.
So how’s about it kid, me and you, next week?
Chants of ‘Please say Yes!’.
Rob Van Dam:
For most people, the answer would be no. It’s not fair for me to bypass the top contenders and defend this belt against someone else.
The fans boo, still hoping Funk vs. Van Dam will happen.
Rob Van Dam:
But you’re not ‘most people’ Terry.
Rob Van Dam:
You want it, you got it! Me and you next week for the PWX World Championship. Best of luck.
The two men manage a little smile as they shake hands. It’s going to be Friend vs. Friend, Mentor vs. Student. Make sure you tune (log) in next week to see (read) this historic match.
~~~End Of Show~~~