Re: Renegade™ & PARANoIR Present: WWE 2006
The following presentation has been paid for and approved by the IC 2.0
JR: Hello and welcome to Monday Night RAW! We are live from Miami, Florida and we are in store for a wild night King, if last week is anything to go by!
King: We sure are JR and what better place to be broadcasting from than the home of none other than The Rock!
JR: Speaking of The Rock, he is only six days away from his first WWE Championship contest in over 4 years against that sick, twisted, egotistical man that is our champ, Edge! And if you wanna know why I called Edge those words, you only need to take a look at this video from last week's main event folks...
*Video of Edge destroying RVD with a steel chair, after Lita was in-advertently smashed in the face with a chair by Van Dam airs*
JR: Edge is a disgrace to the WWE Championship and the RAW brand as a whole, what a horrible individual he is.
King: How many times does it need to be defended JR, he was provoked. It's Rob Van Dam's fault, he threw a chair in the face of Lita to begin with!
JR: It was a God damn accident King and you know it! We have word on RVD's condition folks and that is he will most definitely NOT be here tonight, that is confirmed. However, despite doctor's orders, Van Dam is adamant he will make it to Armageddon to face Brock Lesnar, and that folks is a brave man.
King: Brave? I'd call it stupid.
JR: Well tonight could be a long night for Edge folks as he will be in action against one of Rob Van Dam's closest friends from the old days of ECW in Tommy Dreamer! The match will be contested under ECW Rules and I have a feeling Edge is going to pay for what he did to Van Dam last week!
King: It's not bad enough we have the Hardcore Championship in the hands of an Extremely Crappy Wrestler but now we have to put up with one of their infamous matches here with one of their innovator's of violence against our very own WWE Champion! It's not right JR, it's not right!
JR: That's not all we've got tonight folks as we have a big ten man tag match which will see Kane, AJ Styles, Cryme Tyme and Mark Jindrak team up to face Monty Brown, Shelton Benjamin, MNM & Lance Cade. It's gonna be one helluva slobberknocker.
King: And let's not forget Shane's 3 minute challenge to Triple H JR!
JR: I'm still not buying into it King, knowing Shane, he's got a trick or two up his silver sleeves. And then there's our main event folks, Miami's own, The People's Champion, The Rock going one on one with Brock Lesnar! What a huge show we've got in store tonight.
INCREDIBLE heat pours onto the Rated R Superstar as he makes his way out here, dressed in street gear. Lita's absence is noted by JR & King, who inform us she's got a broken nose. Edge gets boo'd heavily as he gets into the ring and the crowd begins chanting for his Armageddon opponent, The Rock, as Edge holds his WWE Title up high
Edge: Last week, my beautiful wife Lita...
Edge is cut off by huge heat from the fans and a "Lita's a Slut" chant begins, infuriating Edge
Edge: EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU HYPOCRITCAL SACKS OF CRAP SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS AND RESPECT YOUR WWE CHAMPION!
Wow. Edge just owned all, which of course, generates a shitload more heat on him
Edge: My wife Lita was hit in the face, right in her beautiful face, with a steel chair!
Edge: It broke her nose. She was left dis-figured!
Crowd begins a "Bullshit" chant after that
Edge: Rob Van Dam, you made the biggest mistake of your life last week and you paid the ultimate price.
Major heat, small "RVD" chant begins
Edge: I wasn't going to stop until I got an eye for an eye, you could call it.
Edge: And now tonight we've got Tommy Dreamer challenging me to an Extreme Rules match.
Edge: At first, I was absolutely disgusted that someone would actually want to stand up for what Rob Van Dam did to my Lita last week, I was furious.
Edge: But then I realized that much like RVD, Tommy Dreamer came from the home of woman bashing, ECW!
Edge: Only such a joke of a company could approve of hitting women, making people bleed profusely, nearly killing people on the show, could produce the kind of human beings that would support such actions!
More heat and the crowd grows tired of Edge's verbal tirade and begins a "We Want Rock" chant which Edge is clearly not happy with
Edge: You want The Rock huh?
MAJOR pop for that
Edge: Well who gives a damn what you slobs want!
Crowd shits on Edge for that
Edge: What I do to Tommy Dreamer tonight, is only just a preview of what I'm gonna do to your beloved "People's Champion" in six days time at Armageddon!
Edge: Rock, there has never been a clearer indication that RAW is truly in the Rated R Era than now. After tonight, Tommy Dreamer is gonna know it, Rob Van Dam, he already knows it, and then you'll know it when I Spear you down at Armageddon, that I don't stop for anybody. So Rock, I want you to pay very close attention here, because come Sunday, this will be you falling at my hands...
*MAN IN THE BOX*
The crowd pops as out comes Tommy Dreamer, carrying a trash can full of weapons. Dreamer looks extremely focused to avenge his friend RVD here and also to make a splash being back on TV for the first time since Rhyno injured him (accidentally) over 4 months ago. Dreamer dumps his weapons into the ring and then raises arms high to the crowd
Tommy Dreamer vs Edge
Dreamer goes wild on Edge in the early stages, beating the fuck outta him with a barrage of right hands. Dreamer doesn't hold back, choking at Edge in the corner and continuing to pummel him with shots to head as the Rated R Superstar can only try and cover up. Dreamer then sends Edge to the ropes and scores with an elbow. Instead of bothering with a cover, Tommy D clotheslines Edge out of the ring! Dreamer follows him out as the crowd begins an "ECW" chant as Dreamer introduces Edge's face to the barricade. Dreamer now tugs at a security sign on the ringside fencing, pulling it off, and then blasts Edge across the face with it! Dreamer covers 1...2.kickout. Dreamer pulls Edge up and walks him up the ramp way, going for a Suplex, but Edge blocks it, and then is able to SUPLEX DREAMER ONTO THE RAMP! Dreamer writhes around, holding his back and Edge has finally halted the onslaught from Tommy D here.
Edge crawls back towards the ring but ignores the multitude of weapons already inside the ring, instead reaching underneath the apron for a moment and pulling out a Baking Sheet. Edge walks back over to Dreamer and brings the Innovator of Violence to his knees before blasting him with the sheet! Edge pulls Dreamer back to his knees and blasts him again! The crowd shits on Edge as he starts to take control, but he makes no attempt to cover Dreamer. Edge instead brings Dreamer up and brings him back to ringside, ramming Tommy back first into the ring apron! Edge follows up with a boot to the midsection, and then WHIPS DREAMER WITH INCREDIBLE VELOCITY INTO THE STEEL STEPS! A sickening crash occurs between Dreamer's knee's and the steps, and Tommy D goes flipping over them on impact. Edge grins as Dreamer holds his knees and rolls around in a huge amount of pain. Edge takes control for the next while, first choking Dreamer with a cable, and then levelling him with a chair shot to the back! Edge covers Dreamer 1...2..kickout! Edge attempts to hit the Edgeacution to Dreamer onto the chair, but Dreamer counters and BACK DROPS EDGE ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Ouch.
Back from the break and Edge is still the man, as we get shown him countering the TOMMYHAWK by slipping out the back and hitting the Edge-O-Matic for a near fall. Edge picks up a Trash Can and beats Dreamer with it over the head, before turning it upside down and sticking it over Tommy Dreamer! Edge now picks up a Kendo Stick and SMACKS IT INTO THE CAN! Edge does this again, and again as Dreamer drops to his knees. The Rated R Superstar rebounds off the ropes and scores with a kick to presumably the face of Dreamer as the can is taken off after that shot and Edge covers 1...2..NO! Edge stops the count! Crowd boos as Edge smiles and walks over to the corner, crouching down, readying Tommy D for a proper finish. Tommy slowly gets to his feet and Edge charges at him looking for a SPEAR...BUT DREAMER IS ABLE TO COUNTER IT AND DROP TOE HOLD EDGE INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! The crowd pops as Tommy D keeps himself alive in the match and grabs the Trash Can. Edge stumbles out of the corner and IS LEVELLED BY THE TRASH CAN, RIGHT ON THE FOREHEAD! Edge goes down and Dreamer covers 1...2..NO! Edge kicks out. Dreamer fires up with some clothesline knock downs on Edge and the crowd begins to get back into the match. Dreamer picks up a road sign and blasts Edge with it, then backs him to the corner and puts some knees to the gut of Edge.
Dreamer now goes to the outside and reaches under the ring, BRINGING OUT A TABLE! The crowd erupts as some serious weaponry comes into play. Dreamer slides the table into the ring and sets it up at an angle suiting a turnbuckle spot. Edge however comes at Dreamer with a right hand, and the two begin trading blows, Edge gets the better with a below the belt kick, rebounds off the ropes and DREAMER CATCHES HIM, UP ON THE SHOULDERS FOR THE DREAMER DRIVER...NO...COUNTERED BY EDGE...WHO HITS THE EDGEACUTION! Edge hooks the leg 1...2...NO! DREAMER GETS A SHOULDER UP! The crowd is stunned and Edge is too. Edge slaps the mat, but then sees the table and begins to grin evilly. Edge grabs the table and props it up against the turnbuckle in the corner and then brings Dreamer to his feet. Edge goes to Irish Whip Dreamer into the table...BUT DREAMER COUNTERS AND WHIPS EDGE INTO THE TABLE...BUT IT DOESNT BREAK! Edge staggers out and Dreamer charges in looking for a clothesline, but EDGE DUCKS UNDER IT, DREAMER TURNS AROUND AND EDGE CATCHES HIM WITH A SPEAR, TAKING DREAMER RIGHT THROUGH THE PROPPED UP TABLE! Crowd marks like fuck and an "ECW" breaks out as Edge covers 1...2...3!
Winner @ 8:45 - Edge
Edge's music hits as he wins a real fight here to open the show up. Edge stares down at Dreamer, almost with a look of disgust at the crippled ECW veteran. Edge goes outside, presumably to grab his WWE Title when he sees a (CONVENIENTLY!~) placed steel chair vacated next to the time keeper's table. Edge cracks that maniacal smile of his and takes the chair and then picks up the other one used earlier off the floor, and puts them both in the ring. Edge slides in and places one under the downed Dreamer, before picking the other one up, with the crowd completely shitting on him, knowing what's coming next. Edge raises the chair high, about to cream Dreamer with the CON-CHAIR-TO
*IF YA SMELL*
The crowd EXPLODES with a thunderous ovation, rocking the arena as the hometown hero sprints to the ring. Edge attempts to level Rock with the chair, but Rock ducks it and then begins unloading on Edge with right hands, rocking the Rated R Superstar back as the crowd continues to go crazy. Rock finishes laying the SmackDown on Edge and hits him with a big right hand, sending him out to the floor. Rock paces back and forth in the ring as Edge glares at the Brahma Bull, furious The Rock has just owned him here. Rock asks for a mic and a worker slides one into the ring for him
Rock: FINALLY...THE ROCK HAS COME...HOME!
Crowd goes insane and a deafening "Rocky" chant begins
Rock: And Edge, you come out and here and run your mouth, insulting the People? The Rock will never have any of it, but especially not in The Rock's home town, nuh-uh!
Rock: You stand out here and you talk about RVD and hitting women being wrong, and The Rock agrees, hitting women is wrong. But, coming from you, who then goes on to call the People hypocrites, that is just a bunch of monkey crap!
Rock: Because The Rock can remember you trying to get your COUGH TWO DOLLAR HOOKER COUGH of a wife the Women's Championship by Spearing the Women's champ Trish Stratus!
Pop for the insult on Lita, followed by heat for Edge's actions
Rock: And you might aswell take comfort in the fact that The Rock is pretty sure last week's chair shot wasn't the first time Lita has been blasted in the face by another guy!
OHNOZ! The crowd erupts for that one while Edge looks beside himself on the ramp and a booming "Rocky" chant breaks out across the arena
Rock: Whoa Edge, calm down there. The Rock understands that kind of thing is hard to swallow for you, but for Lita on the other hand, nothing's hard for her to swallow!
ROCK DOES IT AGAIN! Edge is seething as Rock can't help but crack a smile as the fans continue to chant his name
Rock: As for your Rated R Era and all that crap, talking about how The Rock's gonna find out all about it come Armageddon, well The Rock says you should be more concerned about the KY Jelly era that The Rock is gonna usher in!
Crowd erupts as Rock turns back the clock with this
Rock: Because it'll begin at Armageddon with The Rock lubing his size thirteen boot up real good, shining that sumbitch up real good, and STICKING IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!
Pop, another "Rocky" chant begins
Rock: Make no mistake about it Edge, The Rock has been out of the title picture for too long. The Rock wants to get back to the top. The WWE Title has the kind of lure to it that you can't stay away from, no matter what. And come this Sunday at Armageddon, The Brahma Bull is gonna hit the People's Ring, lay the SmackDown! on your candy ass, hit the People's Elbow, raise the People's Eyebrow, WHAM BAM! ROCK BOTTOM! The Rock is walking out of Armageddon the WWE Champion.
More cheers from the People
Rock: But that's in six days, because tonight The Rock will be shutting the Vanilla Gorilla up right here in Miami.
Rock: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLL...WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKIN'!
The crowd erupts as Rock's music hits again and he climbs the turnbuckle, staring down with his opponent in six days time Edge, who is fuming at Rocky from the stage now. Rock watches Edge as he disappears behind the curtain and Rock continues to play to his home fans as we head to a commercial
We return from the break and are shown a video hype package of RAW's latest tag team acquisition, The Naturals and their valet, the "Natural Beauty" Layla. A few highlights of Douglas & Stevens best moves are thrown into it and a little history lesson on them, before it focuses on their Natural gimmick and Layla's obvious sexiness[/hype]
We now go backstage and are in the presence of Trish Stratus! The crowd erupts for the Women's Champion as she is talking with Mickie James, Gail Kim and Torrie Wilson. Suddenly the mood changes as in walks Beth Phoenix. Phoenix exudes all the confidence in the world and Trish steps forward to confront her
Stratus: What do you want Beth?
Phoenix: I think it's pretty obvious what I want. I'm the number one contender, and I'm here to tell you Trish, that you have six precious days left to spend with that title, before I take it from you at Armageddon!
Slight pop for the match being announced, heat for Phoenix
Phoenix: I'm going to make you regret the day you brought me into this company. Because ever since then, there's only been one thing on my mind Trish, and that's the Women's Championship. While I was out injured, the only thing I could think about was taking that title off you. I saw Lita try, and she failed. I saw Jazz try, and she failed. Victoria, she failed too. Gail Kim? Couldn't do it. And then there's that bitch right there (points to Mickie James) the same person you brought me into this company to deal with, she couldn't do it either. And now you two are all cosy friends again, and it makes me sick. But that sickness is gonna be cured in just six days Trish, that's all you've got left of this glorified title run of yours.
Stratus: I fail to see how beating the very best this company has to offer, makes my run glorified.
Pop as Trish shows no fear of her bigger adversary, stepping closer to Beth
Stratus: You walk around here acting like a bully, and it's getting to the point where everyone is sick of it. I've beaten them all Beth, and who says you'll be any different?
Phoenix: I do. Your title run is glorified because you've NEVER beaten me Trish. I'm the complete package, and you're gonna find it out on Sunday when I leave you a battered mess and take your beloved title from you. You've got six days left Trish, I suggest you use them lightly!
Phoenix marches off and Trish shakes her head as we head back to ringside
JR: Well as if Armageddon couldn't get any bigger folks, we've now got Trish Stratus defending her Women's Championship against Beth Phoenix!
King: I'm worried for Trish JR, this Beth Phoenix is scary!
JR: She's a force to be reckoned with but Trish Stratus has been, arguably the best Women's Champion we've seen over her long run, and I'm sure she'll have something to say about it come Sunday!
The crowd comes alive as Triple H storms to the ring, for-going his usual pre match routine tonight, and he's all business it seems. Trips stands in the ring, awaiting his opponent
*HERE COMES THE MONEY*
Shane O Mac comes out to a large amount of heat from the fans. Shane dances around on stage for a moment in trademark fashion before heading to the ring holding up three fingers to The Game, reminding him he's not got long to get his hands on Shane tonight. Shane gets into the ring and comes right up to Triple H! The two stand face to face and Shane, to his credit, shows no fear of Hunter
Singles Match; 3 Minute Time Limit
Triple H vs Shane McMahon
Shane talks some trash to Hunter who only smiles back at Shane in reply, and Chad Patton rings the bell! The crowd erupts and then SHANE QUICKLY DARTS TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING! Heat for Shane's cowardly actions and Triple H glares at him. Shane dares Hunter to come after him, and Triple H does, chasing Shane around the ring! Shane slides into the ring and Triple H follows him in, only for Shane to quickly attack The Game with a flurry of lefts and rights. Triple H begins to fight out of it and Shane realizes this and AGAIN HOPS OUT OF THE RING! Trips gets to his feet, fuming at Shane and again goes after Shane O Mac, who leads Triple H on another lap around the ring! Shane again slides into the ring and Triple H follows him again, only for Shane to grab onto the ropes for dear life while Patton restrains The Game from getting to Shane. McMahon smirks at Hunter who realizes this was all just a joke to annoy him and Shane cautiously lets go of his grip of the ropes. Triple H comes for him again, but Shane DROPS TO THE MAT AND ROLLS TO THE OUTSIDE AGAIN! More heat and a "You Suck" chant begins. Shane bides some more time as Triple H furiously tells the ref to do something about it. After Patton explains he can't do anything Triple H's emotion gets the better of him and he again goes for Shane, who again runs away like a pussy. After a few laps of the ring, Shane slides back into the ring and this time shields himself in the corner with the referee! Triple H tries to get Patton out of the way but he ends up being restrained by Patton instead as the timer sounds, the match is over!
No Contest @ 3:00
The crowd boos as Shane has completely avoided Trips, who is irate. Shane grabs a mic and begins to walk up the ramp as Triple H stands in the ring, absolutely pissed off
Shane: Hey Hunter, guess what, you had your three minutes and now the time is up, and for you...it's GAME OVER!
The crowd begin getting to their feet and FROM THE CROWD COME ROSEY & JAMAL! IT'S 3 MINUTE WARNING! The two huge men roll into the ring behind Triple H and flatten him with a Double Clothesline! The crowd boos as Rosey & Jamal beat on Triple H with right hands and stomps. Rosey then places Trips up in the corner as JAMAL STEAMS IN AND SQUASHES HIM WITH A BODY AVALANCHE! Triple H stumbles out, spaghetti legged into a HUGE SAMOAN DROP FROM ROSEY! Triple H is getting picked apart here and the crowd is booing loudly as 3 Minute Warning are back and doing all of Shane's dirty work. Shane McMahon sees Triple H downed and has the courage to get back in the ring finally. He tells his heavies something which sees Jamal going to the outside, reaching under the ring and pulling out a Trash Can! The crowd already know whats coming as Jamal chucks the can into the ring and Rosey drags a near lifeless Triple H up, squashing him with a Front Slam! Rosey now drags Triple H towards the corner and props him up against the bottom buckle. Jamal wedges the trash can in place between the middle and bottom ropes as Shane climbs the opposite corner. Shane balances himself as Jamal & Rosey taunt the crowd and SHANE LEAPS OFF...SCORING WITH THE COAST TO COAST...CRUSHING THE TRASH CAN INTO THE FACE OF THE GAME! The crowd breaks out into a "Holy Shit" chant as Triple H is completely out of it, and Shane is helped to his feet by 3MW as his music hits again
JR: MY GOD TRIPLE H HAS BEEN DECIMATED! SHANE MCMAHON HAS BROUGHT 3 MINUTE WARNING BACK AND THEY'VE JUST DESTROYED THE GAME!
King: I can't believe it JR, they're back.
JR: That no good son of a bitch'll pay at Armageddon, mark my words!
King: That's if Triple H can even make it there!
Back from the break and Todd Grisham is standing by
Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, Brock Lesnar!
Heat as Lesnar steps into the picture, with his new mouth piece Jim Cornette beside him
Grisham: Brock I wa-
Grisham: Excuse me?
Cornette: Hand me the mic junior, nobody wants to hear your repetitive questions.
Grisham looks a little perplexed and hesitant to do so, but he takes one look at Lesnar and quickly hands Cornette the mic
Cornette: Now how dare you disrespect me like that. You don't even have the courtesy to introduce me? It's nice to see the WWE is still in the process of incompetent hiring.
Mixed response to that, some actually liking Cornette's ownage
Cornette: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the beginning of a new reign of dominance here in the WWE. Forget what you've been told by others, because frankly, it's a load of crap!
Cornette: This man right here, "The Next Big Thing" Brock Lesnar, will soon be the man. He'll be everything others wish they could. And it all begins tonight, right here in the main event against The Rock!
Crowd goes nuts for Rock's name, and a "Rocky" chant starts up
Cornette: Rock, you may have all these people behind you, but that's not gonna make any difference why you come up against the unstoppable force, the immovable object, call him what you want, the fact is Brock Lesnar is a flat out wreckin' machine, and tonight Rock, much like you were at Summerslam four years ago, you're gonna be left behind as Brock Lesnar destroys you!
Cornette: Right in front of your home town fans, your beloved "people" as you would say, Brock Lesnar is going to tear you limb from limb! No ridiculous amount of catchphrases are going to save you Rock.
Cornette: And after Brock Lesnar leaves you a crumpled heap in the middle of the ring Rock, he's going onto Armageddon in six days. And if Rob Van Dam is stupid enough to show up, he's gonna break him in half too!
Cornette: RVD, you are a brave man to actually want to face Brock Lesnar at Armageddon, but really, with the condition you're currently in, I would strong suggest you don't bother showing up! However, if you do, if your tiny little brain tries to comprehend facing Brock Lesnar and you do show up, then Brock will have no problem putting you back in the hospital!
Cornette: RAW isn't going to know what's hit them, the entire locker room better damn well take notice, because...
Cornette hands Lesnar the mic
Lesnar: HERE COMES THE PAIN!
Lesnar and Cornette walk off to a bunch of heat as Grisham stands back, respecting the voice of the Godly mic worker Cornette as we come back to ringside and *I AIN'T THE LADY TO MESS WITH* hits and out comes Victoria some boos from the fans
JR: Well folks some strong words there from Jim Cornette and Brock Lesnar, and it seems as if we're set for divas action now King?
King: My favourite part of the show JR, and I'd just like to point out to everybody that this section of the show is rated PG for PUPPIES GALORE!
Gotta <3 the King
JR: Oh will you behave?
*TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL*
The crowd pops big time as out comes the ever popular, ever sexy Trish Stratus. Trish holds her Women's title high and plays to the fans a bit at ringside
Singles Match; Non Title
Trish Stratus vs Victoria
The two put on a good match, considering it's a women's one after all, with Trish all over Vickie at first, before Victoria uses her strength advantage to take control of Trish. Vickie keeps the Champion grounded for a few minutes, hitting some power moves including a Falling Powerbomb, before she attempts a Powerslam, which Trish counters with an Arm Drag! Crowd pops as Trish scores with a few knock downs and gets on a roll, scoring with a Flying Elbow Smash and then countering a Superplex attempt with the Stratusphere! Trish then avoids a wild clothesline with the MATRISH!~ Trish then takes Victoria and hits the STRATUSFACTION! Trish scores the winning fall and looks impressive heading into her title defense this Sunday
Winner @ 5:12 - Trish Stratus
Trish is handed her belt and the ref raises her hand to a pop from the crowd. Trish continues to celebrate with them until BETH PHOENIX walks out on the stage! Trish sees Beth and the two former friends lock eyes, with Phoenix motioning that she's gonna have the Women's title around her waist come next week. Trish raises the belt up high to her to another pop (MINDGAMES!~) as we cut to a promo video
WWE Royal Rumble
American Airlines Centre, Dallas; TX
Presented by RAW & SmackDown!
We are now backstage and in the locker room of AJ Styles! The crowd cheers as the "Phenomenal One" comes into view, lacing up ready for the big ten man tag match coming up soon. AJ comes to his feet however as in walks KANE! The crowd erupts for the Big Red Machine and AJ tries to break the ice with one of his partners
AJ: Hey man.
AJ extends his hand to Kane, who just nods back in reply to Styles. AJ seems lost for things to say already but manages to spurt out
AJ: You ready for later?
Kane nods again, and that's all. The crowd laughs in the background as AJ stands there looking at the masked man, not quite sure on how to follow that up when in comes CRYME TYME to a pop, the two rowdy tag champs make a bit of noise
JTG: Yo, yo, yo AJ Styles! Whadd'up man?
JTG and AJ shake hands and then Shad does likewise, before turning to Kane, who stands there, tilting his head slightly
Shad: Ey money what's crackin'? You ready to run wild tonight?
Shad makes the mistake AJ did earlier of trying to get a hand shake with Kane, who just stands there, silent. Shad & JTG seem a little surprised by Kane's lack of vocal contribution to the segment and at the same time say
Cryme Tyme: O...K...then...
Before awkwardly turning away from Kane and back to Styles as the final jigsaw of their team MARK JINDRAK walks in to a small pop
Jindrak: Hey guys what's up?
Shad: Nothin' dog.
JTG: We all just chillin', well we (points to himself, Shad and then AJ) are anyway...
Jindrak notices the exclusion of Kane in JTG's list, and turns to Kane
Jindrak: Hey ma-
Shad: Don't bother with it, he ain't sayin' nothin'
Jindrak: Ah, right.
AJ, Jindrak & Cryme Tyme all exit the room and Kane lumbers out after them, silent as a *insert generic tagline here*
JR: That huge match is coming up NEXT folks, don't go anywhere!
Back from the break Lance Cade is in the ring, raring to go
*PAPARAZZI* hits and out comes MNM to decent heel heat. Melina talks to her boys as they walk down the ramp, and then produces her awesome ring entrance as Nitro & Mercury slide into the ring either side of her
*AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NO!* and out comes the Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin to an average heel reaction. Shelton immediately taunts the fans with his IC title, and then gets in the ring, before acknowledging MNM and Cade
*ALPHA MALE* hits and the crowd boos loudly as Monty Brown powers to the ring with The Coach by his side. Brown looks extremely intense here, after sending a message to Kane last week with the Pounce
*REFLECTION OF PERFECTION* hits, bringing out the first of the face team in Mark Jindrak. Jindrak talks some trash at his former partner Lance Cade and awaits his team mates at the foot of the ramp
*BRINGIN' DA HOOD 2 U* plays and out come the World Tag Team Champions to a decent pop. JTG & Shad get their crunk on at the top of the stage while MNM look on in disgust inside the ring at their opponents in six days time for the titles. JTG & Shad slap high fives with the Jindrak at ringside before entering the ring as the heels slip out of the ring
*I AM* hits and the crowd explodes with a huge pop as the "Phenomenal One" steps out on stage and extends his arms as the pyro falls behind him. AJ flips his hood up and points out to the fans before heading to the ring to join his team
*SLOW CHEMICAL* hits as the pyro explodes and Kane comes out, tightening the glove on his right hand to a strong face reaction from the crowd. Kane looks all business and keeps his gaze on Monty Brown as he let's his pyro shoot up from the turnbuckles
10 Man Tag Match
Kane, AJ Styles, Cryme Tyme & Mark Jindrak
Monty Brown, Shelton Benjamin, MNM & Lance Cade w/The Coach & Melina
Very entertaining match sees all hell break loose at the beginning as Kane pairs off with Monty, AJ with Shelton, Jindrak with Cade, Shad with Nitro and JTG with Mercury. Eventually referee Jack Doan restores order and AJ Styles kicks things off with Mercury. The opening period sees the faces dominate and a nifty team move between Jindrak & Shad which sees them drill Shelton with a DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER and follow it up with the nasty WISHBONE SPLIT! Jindrak gets in and works on Benji and then faces off with Monty Brown, who begins to over power MJ, who escapes Brown and tags in JTG. JTG looks to come off the top rope with a MISSILE DROPKICK...BUT MONTY DROPS THE SHOULDER INTO JTG'S MIDSECTION ON THE WAY DOWN! Monty covers JTG 1...2..NO! Kickout by JTG.
The heels take control like a pack of rabid wolves, picking apart JTG with some impressive team work. Nitro hits a Swinging Neckbreaker and then tags in Mercury who scores with a Vaulting Leg Drop from the apron, but JTG escapes the fall with a shoulder up at two.
Mercury whips JTG into the corner and then distracts Jack Doan as Monty chokes on JTG and Nitro & Cade get into the ring and put the boots to him. The crowd boos this and Kane gets into the ring to a big pop to help his buddy out, but this only causes the ref to keep him at bay as Mercury joins the assault. Cade is tagged in and the youngster's cockiness leads to a JTG fight back as Cade taunts Jindrak, JTG recovers and begins to unload with right hands. JTG goes to spring off the ropes, but Melina grabs at him, tripping him up, and JTG stumbles out into a Flapjack. Cover 1...2..shoulder up. The crowd boos Melina who acts like she never did a thing as Jack Doan remonstrates her and Cade stands above a beaten JTG, again talking trash to Jindrak, before turning back to JTG. Marky Mark however has had enough and gets into the ring, with the ref still warning Melina about her actions, spins Cade around and DECKS HIM WITH A HUGE LEFT HOOK! Cade goes out like a light to a pop from the fans and AJ & Shad begin pumping the crowd up on the apron, getting them behind JTG. JTG begins to stir and crawl towards the out stretched hands of Kane, AJ, Shad & Jindrak as Cade does likewise towards his own corner. Cade is able to tag in Nitro who dashes across the ring and grabs ahold of JTG's leg, not allowing him to make a tag. Nitro pulls JTG away from his corner BUT JTG IS ABLE TO SCORE WITH AN ENZIGURI! The crowd pops and begins making a bunch of noise, willing JTG on and as Nitro crawls back to his corner and tags in Benjamin, JTG LEAPS AND TAGS THE HAND OF...KANE!
The crowd erupts as Kane steps in and flattens Shelton with a clothesline. Shelton gets back up and goes down again. Lance Cade tries to get Kane but receives a Big Boot! Next is Mercury who charges at Kane but Kane sees him coming and elevates him up into the lights with a Hip Toss! Kane is then mobbed by Monty Brown & Nitro, soon being joined by Shelton as the trio attack the Big Red Machine, which brings in AJ, Shad & Jindrak as all hell breaks loose again! AJ comes speeding across and clotheslines Nitro and himself out to the floor as Shad tees off on Monty with a series of right hands. In the ensuing chaos, cue the traditional clusterfuck of big moves and finishers, starting with Kane loading up Nitro and drilling him with a CHOKESLAM FROM HELL! Nitro rolls to the outside as Cade tags in and impressively scores with a Lariat to Kane, taking him down. Cade taunts to the fans and turns into the G9 from a re-juvinated Cryme Tyme. JTG raises his arms in the air but is tripped down by Mercury and dragged to the outside, and Shad meanwhile turns around into a kick from Shelton Benjamin, but Shad catches it ONLY FOR SHELTON TO HIT THE DRAGON WHIP ON SHAD! The smack is heard throughout the entire building as Benji drops Shad but is then goozled by Kane and CHOKESLAMMED! Monty Brown slides into the ring and Kane doesn't see him and turns around as Brown goes for the POUNCE...BUT KANE SIDESTEPS IT AND SENDS MONTY FLYING OUT OF THE RING! The crowd erupts as we see AJ Styles mount the top rope and Kane tags out to the Phenomenal One, who soars off and hits the downed Benjamin with a SPIRAL TAP! The crowd erupts as AJ makes the cover and JTG holds back Mercury on the outside 1...2...3!
Winners @ 10:45 - Kane, AJ Styles, Cryme Tyme & Mark Jindrak
The faces pick up a big win with AJ Styles chalking up ANOTHER pinfall over Shelton Benjamin. Cryme Tyme and Mark Jindrak recover and join their partners in the ring as the faces play to the crowd, with Kane not taking his gaze off of Monty Brown, who he got the better of tonight, in a reverse from last week's attack
JR: What a massive match folks, and King can you believe that was AJ Styles' third pinfall victory over Shelton Benjamin in 4 weeks? Incredible!
King: I can't believe it JR, I can't.
JR: Well you better believe it because if it happens this Sunday, Shelton is gonna lose that coveted IC Title of his this time!
We come back live and the Cabana is all set up in the ring with Carlito standing with a mic
Carlito: The Cabana is back baby, and back in Miami!
Huge reaction and a small "Carlito" chant breaks out
Carlito: And das...das cool!
Another pop as Carlito smiles
Carlito: And tonight is gonna be a big show. Perhaps the biggest ever Cabana. Because tonight, right here on The Cabana, I have two guests that will, in six days time, face each other at Armageddon!
Carlito: There's Christian...
Major heat but a few pops for Christian
Carlito: And Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Carlito: So let's get into it. First, please welcome a man who has done it all in this business. He's a multiple WWE Champion, a multiple Royal Rumble winner, the 1996 King Of The Ring, and the Toughest Son Of a Bitch in the WWE, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
The crowd erupts as *GLASS SHATTERS* rocks the arena and out comes Austin. The Rattlesnake salutes the fans on all four corners and then takes a mic off one of the cabana chairs set up. Stone Cold goes to speak but is cut off by a loud "Austin" chant
Carlito: Stone Cold Steve Austin on the Cabana, now das cool!
Austin: What did ya say son?
Carlito: I sa-
Carlito looks a little annoyed with Austin
Austin: Calm down there I wouldn't want to ruffle all of that hair!
Austin: Stone Cold heard you perfectly the first time, he was just havin' a lil joke with ya nappy head, that's all. If ya think it's "cool" that Stone Cold Steve Austin is on the Cabana, GIMME A HELL YEAH?
Carlito smirks at that, nodding in approval and picking up an apple from a basket. Carlito juggles the apple up and down in his hand for a moment
Austin: Whoa, hey son. You aren't thinkin' of spittin' that little sumbitch in Stone Cold's face are ya?
Carlito shakes his head and then offers Austin an apple
Austin: For me?
Carlito: Yeah man.
Austin laughs and shakes his head as Carlito looks a little upset
Austin: I appreciate the offering son but Stone Cold don't eat no damn apples. However, there is something I think we can both appreciate right here tonight in the sizzling heat of Miami...
Austin is temporarily cut off by a loud mark out for the mention of the home town
Austin: And that's a few ice cold Steveweisers!
Austin: Can someone give me a damn beer?
Austin looks around as Carlito attempts to get this show back on track
Carlito: Steve don't you th-
Austin: Son, unless you're gonna finish that sentence off with a solution to the whereabouts of some beer, I don't wanna hear it, NUH-UH!
Austin then acts like he's suddenly had a bright idea
Austin: Ya know what, good ol' Stone Cold's got a case on ice out back, excuse me for a moment...
*JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES*
The crowd breaks out into a mixed reaction which turns to loud heat as out comes Captain Charisma, with a case of Steveweisers! Christian places the case down at the top of the ramp and pulls a mic out of his jumper top while Austin frowns at him. Tyson Tomko however, is auspiciously absent
Christian: Where my peeps at Miami?
Austin: Hey ya creepy lil bastard wh-
Christian: Oh hey Austin, where you looking for these?
Christian points to the case of Steveweisers he brought out here
Austin: Ya damn right.
Christian: Well I couldn't help but hear you were a little thirsty Austin, so I thought I'd save your old ass the long walk to the back!
Christian: Here, gimme a moment and I'll bring them down...
Christian picks the case up and begins walking to the ramp, when he then stops and a wide grin appears over his face. Christian then turns and chucks the case off the stage! Christian laughs as Austin looks less than impressed in the ring and Carlito mouths "Das not cool"
Christian: Oh whoops, I tripped Steve, I just tripped and they just fell.
Heat for Christian
Austin: That's real funny ya stupid little mothercanucker, I bet you had problems trying to find a way to piss me off so ya probably had to console with your man goat over that one.
Austin: Speaking of your wanna be Stone Cold, where is the big bastard? Don't tell me you left him tied up out the back because you didn't want me to embarrass the big lump two weeks in a row?
Christian: No Austin, I didn't leave him tied up out the back. I left him out the back, to take care of something for me.
Austin: But if you're out here, and he's back there with the lubricant, how does that take care of all of your "little" (makes a motion with his thumb and index finger) problems?
Crowd erupts as Christian shakes his head, not caring for Austin's insults this week, for some reason
Christian: No Austin, Tomko's out back taking care of something that I don't think you'll be too happy with...
Christian trails off and stops to think for a moment
Christian: Better yet, instead of trying to tell you, why don't I just show you?
Christian points back to the titantron which scrambles from black and we see Tomko standing by
Christian: Tomko, would you like to tell us where you are?
Tomko: Why, I'm out the back here in the parking lot.
Christian: And why are you out there of all places?
Tomko: Well Christian, because out here amongst other prized possessions and such, we've got the notorious Rattlesnake 4x4!
The camera turns to the left of Tomko to reveal Austin's signature vehicle parked conveniently away from the rest of the cars while we see a shot of Austin, who's eyes widen in a mix of surprise and worry
Christian: Ah yes, the same one that pulled down the titantron here on RAW all those years ago. The same one that we've seen numerous superstars get a Stunner atop. The same one that you Austin, have driven to the ring throughout all these years. But enough of the history lesson, Tomko, show Stone Cold here what his favourite truck is about to resemble?
Tomko pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, scrunches it up into a ball and tosses it on the mat, and stomps on it with the camera fixating on it for a moment. Austin is getting increasingly edgy about what's about to go down and his eyes are filling with anger as Tomko begins to head away down a ramp
Christian: Don't worry everybody, I'm sure he'll be back soon enough!
The crowd starts a "You Suck" chant while we hear an engine being revved hard and then the sound of tires screeching, and moments later A HUGE RIG COMES TEARING UP THE RAMP! THE RIG TURNS AND THEN ROLLS FORWARD, RAMMING RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF AUSTIN'S 4X4 AND CRUSHING IT INTO THE WALL! Inside the ring Austin is in momentary shock as Tomko backs the rig back up and hops out, and begins to point towards the spot where the truck was parked, which reveals the now crushed and damaged 4x4, looking like nothing more than a scrunched up box of scrap junk as the video feed cuts off
Austin: You're just begging for an ass whippin' ain't ya?
With that being said, Austin drops his mic and MAKES A BEELINE FOR CHRISTIAN! The crowd erupts as Christian turns and runs away behind the curtain with Austin in hot pursuit. We cut to a camera backstage which sees Christian darting down a hall with Austin in chase. Christian turns a corner and barges through a set of double doors, and Austin goes to follow BUT ONE OF THE DOORS IS SLAMMED SHUT RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF AUSTIN! The crowd boos as it's Tomko, and Austin has been well and truly set up here. Christian comes back into the picture and stands over a downed Austin, before picking him up and THROWING AUSTIN THROUGH A (CONVENIENTLY PLACED!~) GLASS WINDOW! The crowd boos loudly as Christian & Tomko lean through the opening and look down at Austin who is down and out amongst the shards of glass. Christian pounds on his chest getting huge heat and then leans over, whispering
Christian: See you on Sunday Austin...
Christian & Tomko walk off as a few officials and a doctor rush to the scene
JR: THAT NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH! Christian is gonna have hell to pay at Armageddon! What a disgusting human being he is.
King: He's a genius JR, a true genius.
JR: How can you say that King? Look what he and Tomko just did to Austin.
King: Serves Austin right for inciting Christian three weeks ago on RAW, and then challenging him to a match. Austin's out of his league JR!
JR: Bah he is not, and I know Stone Cold well enough folks, he'll be dishing out one hell of an ass kicking at Armageddon!
JR: Welcome back folks we are just moments away from our huge main event, but first, that music you can hear playing? That's Breaking Benjamin's rock smash "Had Enough" which is the official Armageddon theme song, and King, speaking of Armageddon, it's going to be a HUGE event!
King: It sure is JR, and it doesn't get any bigger than the WWE Championship match! The Rock challenging Edge for the title, and what a match its gonna be.
JR: The war of words has been fierce but finally they will meet at Armageddon and we'll see who will come out the winner. Also folks, a match with plenty of feeling as Stone Cold Steve Austin takes on Christian. And this one is down right personal!
King: It got even more personal tonight JR, first Tomko destroyed Austin's truck and then Christian sent the Rattlesnake through a glass window.
JR: Christian may have got the upper hand tonight but you can bet that Austin will be more than ready to strike come Sunday. And speaking of ready to strike, I don't think that Triple H could be more ready to get his hands on Shane McMahon.
King: That's right, Shane cost Triple H his WWE Championship back at Survivor Series and cost him the title rematch twenty four hours later. And then tonight he brings back a team we haven't seen for years in 3 Minute Warning and orchestrates a savage beat down on The Game, more than softening him up for the Ambulance match!
JR: Well Shane's gonna need all the tricks of the trade he can work to survive this weekend I feel, because if the Cerebral Assassin has his way, Shane may need a hearse and not an ambulance.
King: And questions have to be asked over RVD's health JR, he's not here tonight after suffering a brutal beat down by Edge last week, but he's said he will be at Armageddon to face Brock Lesnar!
JR: Rob Van Dam suffered a severe concussion, a cracked rib and had multiple bruising across his back, but he's assured everybody that he will front up at Armageddon, and that is one brave man folks, considering the man he'll be up against. Let's not forget the Intercontinental Championship is on the line and AJ Styles, after now scoring three pinfall victories over the champ Shelton Benjamin in the past month, finally has the chance to do it with the strap on the line!
King: I'm a huge Shelton fan JR, you know that, but this AJ Styles has been impressive and I'm worried for Shelton. We've also got MNM taking on Cryme Tyme for the tag titles, and MNM have certainately made an impact since arriving from SmackDown!, wasting no time in establishing their challenge for the titles.
JR: No they haven't King and Cryme Tyme will need their A-game if they're to retain against one of the best teams we've seen so far this century. And announced tonight, Trish Stratus will defend her Women's Championship against the dominant force that is Beth Phoenix! Phoenix has been on a roll as of late, destroying everyone in her path, and she's told Trish that she's the next one.
King: I fear for Trish JR, I really do.
With the hype all but done for this Sunday, it's time for the main event
*HERE COMES THE PAIN*
Hits as we get ready for our main event, out comes Brock Lesnar, Jim Cornette by his side. Lesnar bobs up and down on the stage as usual before walking to the ring with a purpose. Lesnar hops onto the apron and let's his pyro fly, before getting into the ring and again bobbing up and down with Cornette in his ear
*IF YA SMELL*
For the second time tonight the crowd blows the roof off for their boy as The Rock makes his way to the ring, geared up and ready to go. Rocky soaks up the terrific ovation as he mounts the turnbuckle, and then looks down at Lesnar, the two locking eyes
The Rock vs Brock Lesnar w/Jim Cornette
Considering it's a TV match, it doesn't quite reach the heights it could, but nonetheless, considering it's a TV match, it owns most main events anyways. Rock starts off like a house on fire, all over The Next Big Thing and attempts the first cover of the match after catching Brock with an Overhead Belly To Belly Throw for a two count. Rock stays on the offensive and catches Brock with a Samoan Drop and gets another two count. Lesnar rolls out of the ring, escaping Rock's onslaught and catching a breath, but Rocky follows him out and introduces Lesnar's head to the announce table. Rock then goes to whip Lesnar, but Lesnar counters and WHIPS ROCK INTO THE RINGPOST! Ouch. Rocky's momentum is halted there and then. Brock begins to take control of Rock, hitting some signature moves including a Shoulderbreaker and then a Ribreaker, showcasing his power to keep the flow going between the two moves, but can only get a two count on Rocky.
Lesnar continues to have the better of the match, despite a brief Rock fight back with a series of right hands, Lesnar squashes Rock with a Belly To Back Suplex! Cover 1...2..kickout. Brock brings Rock back up and drives him into the corner, laying multiple shoulder thrusts into The Rock's midsection. Lesnar whips Rock across to the opposite turnbuckle and follows in, but Rock is able to get an elbow up! Rock begins to hammer away on Lesnar with right hands again and then sends Brock to the ropes, but Lesnar comes back and plows through Rock with a clothesline. Cover 1...2...kickout by Rock. Lesnar now, encouraged by Jim Cornette to finish Rock off, brings Rock to his feet and loads him up for an F5...BUT ROCK COUNTERS IT WITH THE PEOPLE'S DDT! The crowd erupts as Rock has bought some time to recover and get back in the match. Both men down and the crowd begins a booming "Rocky" chant, as he and Lesnar both struggle back to their feet. Lesnar goes to hit a right, but Rock blocks and unloads on Brock with right hands! Rock finishes it off with the big right hand, rocking Lesnar. Rock attempts an Irish whip which Lesnar counters but Rock comes flying back with a Flying Elbow Smash! ROCK IMMEDIATELY KIPS UP! The crowd goes wild as Rock catches the incoming Lesnar with a Spinebuster! Jim Cornette hops up on the apron, berating The Rock, who knocks Cornette off with a right hand!
Rock turns back to Lesnar and after the usual routine, HITS THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW! Rock covers 1...2...THE REF IS PULLED OUT OF THE RING...BY JOHN CENA! The crowd boos the shit outta Cena as Rock gets to his feet, telling Cena to "bring his monkey ass to the ring" as Cena gives Rocky the "You Can't See Me" treatment. As referee Mike Chioda tells Cena he's got to leave the ringside area, EDGE COMES THROUGH THE CROWD, SLIDES INTO THE RING AND ROCK TURNS RIGHT INTO A SPEAR! Ungodly heat as the Rated R Superstar levels his challenger for this Sunday. Edge exits the ring and Brock Lesnar comes to, sees The Rock out and makes the cover 1...2...3!
Winner @ 13:21 - Brock Lesnar
The crowd is furious their own has been screwed here by Edge and also Cena, as Edge slides back into the ring, yelling down at The Rock he'll never get the WWE Title off him while Cena looks all smug backing up the ramp, and Lesnar is congratulated on another strong performance by Cornette when suddenly
*HAVE A NICE DAY*
Plays and the crowd comes to their feet to greet Mick Foley, who has a mic in hand
Foley: That's it. I've had it! John Cena, last week I gave you a warning, and it was your final warning! You obviously haven't listened to me these past few weeks, when I've been as lenient as I can, so now you can suffer the consequences!
Foley: All you've tried to do is jeopardise The Rock's title match at Armageddon, and so in the interest of letting that match go ahead as planned without your un wanted involvement, I have no choice but to SUSPEND YOU UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!
The crowd ERUPTS and Cena is shocked
Foley: HAVE A NICE DAY!
Foley, despite being quite pissed off, is able to sneak the cheap pop in there and Cena is still quite literally shocked by the announcement and we end the show with Edge standing above The Rock, title in hand, grinning down at his fallen opponent
Fade To Black
Current Card for WWE Armageddon
Energy Solutions Arena
Salt Lake City; Utah
Event Music: Breaking Benjamin - "Had Enough"
Sponsored by Miller Chill
WWE Championship Match
The Rock vs Edge (c)
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Christian w/Tomko
Triple H vs Shane McMahon
Rob Van Dam vs Brock Lesnar w/Jim Cornette
Kane vs Monty Brown w/The Coach
Intercontinental Championship Match
AJ Styles vs Shelton Benjamin (c)
World Tag Team Championship Match
Cryme Tyme (c) vs MNM w/Melina
Women's Championship Match
Trish Stratus (c) vs Beth Phoenix
1. What match will open the PPV?
2. How many title changes will occur, if any?
3. Will there be any surprise appearances? If so, who?
4. Predict the match order
Predics plz, the winner will get some reward, most likely points/credits and whatnot. Armageddon will be extended recapish, as I simply won't write a full PPV unless it's a big four event. So yeah, as always I will do my best to return all RAW feedback/comments/reviews etc. <3.