Personally I’ve never seen a ‘Gold Star’ match so kudos to you for implementing it into your thread. The match itself was decent, and you describe your match’s simply and precisely, which is what’s needed for the divas. However you need to be more descriptive with what happens after – i.e - Mickie James and Beth both stare at each other.
Edge/Shelton/Haas – you have good ideas, but if I’m honest you don’t really carry them out. I could understand what was happening but the dialogue was out of character quite a bit.
Decent match with Carlito and Kofi. Both are good performers and a nice addition to the card. Once again, you need to be more descriptive.
Your commentary was poor, if I’m very honest. “JR: I hope Khali does not win, King.” is a prime example of it. I understand you’re trying to make J.R seem a face, but even he is impartial and wouldn’t say that.
Santino and Regal was your best promo. Santino and Regal spoke well, basic, but well. “NO! NO! NO! I will face them, it just that the Hardy Boyz… The name sounds soo hard.” – well done. It seems you are better at guys like Santino’s character.
I like the thought of a triple threat match; Kennedy and Elijah are both great and throwing in Khali is interesting. The match itself was pretty good, and well written. I like that Elijah and Ken double-teamed, and liked even more that Kennedy got the win. One thing you could do is put match length possibly.
Kennedy interview was still out of character mate. He went over the top by saying he was ‘the greatest in history’ but overall you’ve set the 3 way next time up well.
Rated R-Golden vs Duece and Domino was brief, but with a decent finish. Don’t like that Shelton’s playing second fiddle to Edge, but don’t worry!
Main-event was probably MOTN. Edge winning clean was a little surprising but overall a decent finish.
OVERALL – I was a little disappointed with Raw if I’m honest. You can do better than this and you will improve, given time. Some things you need to improve on would be entrances – they are very basic, as is the commentators dialogue which you kind of neglect. I’ll give it 6/10, keep going and you’ll improve. Spelling has definately improved alot! You have the ideas and with a little more description you’d improve alot! Looking forward to next weeks Raw.
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WF Hall Of Shame;Azuran, perro, Leechmaster, Pyro, afl2, Hajime No Blasko, SelfHighFive.
- Nice interaction between JR and the King at the start of the show with both men being very much in character. As for the three number 1 contender matches. The triple threat looks good and it’s good to see you place some importance on the women’s and intercontinental divisions.
- Straight into the gold star match. These matches are never very good and I personally am not a fan of the gimmick. I’d rather a battle royal or maybe just a regular match up. It would have been nice to see someone other than Mickie or Beth get 1 of the stars.
- Edge, Shelton and Hass were completely out of character. They sounded English, not American. When writing in this form, you have to write what the character would say, not what you would say. Maybe use a recapped format for these segments, you might find it easier.
- I’m probably one of the few people on here who doesn’t like Kofi, but that’s besides the point. He is a good athlete, this was a good match and it makes sense that you’d want to push him and keep him strong as he is very over.
- JR and the King fell out of character. They also need to be objective, therefore JR can not say that he doesn’t want Khali to win. Watch your grammar. We all screw it up, but try your best!
- You nailed the Regal, Santino backstage segment. Your English, therefore getting Regal right should be easier for you. HA. As for Santino, what he said was fair enough and he was in character throughout.
- I’m happy to see Kennedy pick up a victory, especially given the fact Khali was involved in the match. Burke done the job, which makes sense as it would be hard to believe Kennedy pinning Khali in this type of match environment.
- Again, I draw your attention to what I said above. Your grammar and characterisation was all over the place during the Mr Kennedy interview.
- The last two matches came back to back. You’re a much better match writer than you a promo writer. Glad Edge won in the main event. He’s the man as far as I’m concerned.
OVERALL: Okay, it’s evident that you need to work on your promo’s. I’d advise you to watch some on you tube in order to perfect characterisation. I have nothing negative to say about your booking or your match writing ability, it’s the promo’s that leave the show down. It as I said can be helped, you just need to work at it. If you ever want to chat about promo writing, or want some help, PM me, I’d be happy to help, though I’m far from the best promo writer on here ! HA.
Tonight will mark one show which you will never forget. As it stands, Theodore Long has made 2 huge matches for tonight. They are, JBL going one on one with his one of his opponents at Night of Champions and he is John Cena. This will be a night of champions preview match. The other match is the main event and it will be the legendary Undertaker going one on one with Chris Jericho who has bothered him since being drafted.
Will JBL emerge victorious or will John Cena? If one wins against the other, will they be confident to win in about a weeks time?
Chris Jericho is one nasty man, he has brutalised Undertaker for the past few weeks and now he has the chance to face him. Who will be the winner or will either of them beat each other to a pulp?
Also, Rey Mysterio is involved in a match tonight and who is the opponent?
Will there be any other title matches made for Nighr of Champions?
Location: From Downtown, outta nowhere, in a heartbeat!
Posts: 4,810
Re: WWE: Changing It Forever
_ Opening Match. Very confusing I must point out. Stars in each corner? So thats 4 stars. Yet only two can be pulled down. Anyway I think this match should have been saved til later on in the show as it would be a weak opener. Beth & Mickie advance. The best two in the match and I am pulling for Mickie to win at NOC
Promo 1. Edge was in and out of charcater all over the place. Oh and Edge would never say GTS. He would say Go To Sleep. Don't be lazy it is like a second difference when typing.
Carlito jobs to the talented Kofi, which is not too bad. Although you need to work on your match writing skills. Knowledge of moves is good it just seems very fast paced and rushed.
The next promo was hard to read as it was all one colour. I did not like it. Saying hardy boyz sounds hard, just lacked any humor . So did Regalle
Khali in the IC title hunt was a good move and having Kennedy pin Burke was good as it kept Khali looking strong and put Kennedy over. Would like to see who else is in the IC match at NOC. It should be good.
Kennedys promo was okay. It was nothing great and had little point. Kennedy just proved he is good in his previous match.
Rated R Golden! I love that name. DnD faces then? huh? "Total Haastility " - Can I have a move discription please . Good solid match that would have been a great opener instead of the awful Womens match.
Looks like a PPV quality main event is in store. I can't wait. Haas & Benjamin again! Over using them dude. Edge wins and no surprise as he is the only one who had real hype. Poor Kane, just like in real life, he always gets jobbed out . I hope this turns him into a monster heel and he snaps!!! I am allowed to wish
Overall: An average show. Bit predicatble and the whole Edge Stable thing was overused.
Final Notes: Work on match writing and make the promos easier to read please.
65/100 - So thats Average, standard show Well done.
Racer should be credited of doing this show with me just doing a bit of JBL/Cena match and onwards.
WWE Smackdown begins as the multiple pryo’s blast up to the song “Rise Up” as the whole arena is stack full of wrestling fans, the camera pans through the crowd picking up signs which state there favorite wrestlers name. The camera comes to a stop at the stage to pick up the final pryo’s which are blasting off before cutting to the Announcer’s table. As Mick Foley and Michael Cole welcome us and runs us through the matches tonight mentioning some big names; Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho also JBL vs. John Cena in a NOC preview. Mick Foley and Cole then begin to talk about the NoC card as they name some of the matches as they get onto the Undertaker and Chris Jericho subject talking about how it all started.
Match One
Hawkins/Ryder vs. Jesse/Festus
[[Opening Contest]]
Jesse and Festus keeping control of the match thus far after scaring Hawkins and Ryder with Festus mood change, Hawkins currently in with Festus keeping him grounded with stomps and kicks to the head after several seconds Hawkins is able to fight past the kicks and gets to his feet they both bounce off opposite ropes double clothesline taking them both down. Hawkins was able to crawling over to Ryder as they make a tag Ryder was able to pull Festus back away from Jesse before knocking Jesse off the apron, Ryder was able to keep Festus grounded with some powerful dropkicks, Ryder covered only to by kicked out on the 2 count. As they both race to there feet Ryder ducking the first clothesline before ducking the second, leg sweep being able to knock Festus down buying time to regain so initiative, Ryder tags Hawkins as Ryder crouches down in one corner awaiting for Festus to stand, once he does…Spear…Ryder was able to spear Festus as Hawkins who is currently tagged in awaits in the other corner as Festus slowly get to his feet once more…SPEAR…this time by Hawkins, there the pin…1…2…3
Winners Via Pinfall : Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder
[[Commercial]]
SmackDown returned to air where we see, Y2J, Chris Jericho standing in the interview area holding a microphone as he begins to talk about Undertaker explaining how he hate The Undertaker, mentioning that he has past his Prime and it’s time for him to step down as the so called “Legend” his known as and retire. Chris received a lot of heat after those comments as he then starts to boast about how he will be the new Legend after he defeats Undertaker tonight in that very ring, Jericho promised that he will leave The Undertaker bloodied and dead after tonight’s match as the screen fades.
Match Two
Finlay vs. MVP
In this very close contest we have the franchise, MVP and the man who loves to fight, Finlay as both men trade blows MVP is able to take control and back Finlay into the ropes as he awaits for him to come back, clothesline. Finlay wastes no time as he bounces back to his feet and is knocked back down by a diving shoulder block by MVP. MVP covered only getting a 2 count as they both race to there feet, they lock up once again as Finlay gets the upper hand and backs MVP into the ropes Finlay flings MVP off the ropes and awaits for him to return, MVP runs straight into a Upper Cut. MVP able to get back up to his feet dodging Finlay’s first few punches and his backed up into a corner Finlay runs towards MVP, who was able to get his foot up slamming into the face of Finlay as he falls back hitting the canvas with a thud that echo’s throughout the arena. MVP takes control of the match after several minutes of MVP destroying Finlay with a combination of clotheslines, kicks, punches and high knees he finally has Finlay in the ‘Play Maker’ as MVP swings around as Finlay hits the canvas, MVP was able to crawl over to Finlay and pick up the 3 count.
Winner Via Pinfall : MVP
After the match MVP heads over to the announcers table as he grabs a microphone, he mentions how he is will be the new U.S champion after NoC as he received news just before this match about and added match to the NoC Card, it is a United States Championship match, with MVP vs, Finlay vsing a unknown who will be named tonight in a match up. MVP drops the microphone as he heads back stage leading SmackDown to a Commercial.
[[Commercial]]
SmackDown returns as the camera is set at the announce table, where Mick Foley and Michael Cole talk about what we have just seen as the ramble on about who they think could be the third person in the Triple Threat Match at Night Of Champions each time coming to a disagreement and arguing only to be cut off by the music of John Morrison who walks out to the front of the stage as he does a slow motion effect as the crowd give out mixed reactions.
Match Three
Third Entrant to The Night Of Champions U.S title match
John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero
It has been so far a fast paced match, so far John Morrison has had control of the match for several minutes after being able to reverse a DDT chokehold. John Morrison continues to keep control of the match as he drags Chavo along the floor closer to the turnbuckle as he begins to climb up as he reaches the top rope he turns around to notice Chavo is up with him as the both trade blows trying to push one another of the top rope to get a very good upper hand in the match. Chavo takes advantage hooking his arm around Morrison’s head as he looks like he is going for a superplex but John Morrison able to hold on as Chavo continues to try to pull John Morrison off the top rope, Morrison is able to get in a couple of elbows as Chave falls off the turnbuckle and hits the canvas with a loud thud as John Morrison stands back up and faces back first to Chavo as he poses before he leapt off the top rope connecting with a Corkscrew Moonsault. Morrison pins picking up the 3 count and becoming the last person in the Triple Threat at NoC.
Winner via Pinfall : John Morrison
The camera cuts to the announce table as we view Mick Foley and Michael Cole talking about what just took place and how John Morrison is now in Night Of Champions against Finlay and MVP, as they lead SmackDown to a Commercial.
[[Commercial]]
SmackDown returns to air as we are backstage, where SmackDown General Manager, Teddy Long and WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio are talking about why Rey doesn’t have a match in tonight’s card, Rey begins to get angry as he really want to wrestle tonight, Teddy Long tries to calm Rey down as he begins to yell demanding a match tonight as out of now where Mark Henry shows up as he comes barging in obviously annoyed and pissed off as he push Rey out of the way and tell Teddy he has had enough with Cryme Tyme as the continue to steal his stuff. Teddy Long looks past Mark Henry to Rey and then looks back at Mark, as he tells Mark he will be in a match tonight against Cryme Tyme but he will will be partnering up with Rey, Mark and Rey look at each other as they both start yelling as Teddy tells them to quite down Mark Henry says “There is NO WAY!!, I will be partnering up with Rey I would rather face him then team up with him”…Teddy Long smirks as he looks as Rey as he tells them both to get down to the ring as it will be Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio and Cryme Tyme, the screen fades out.
Match Four
Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio and Cryme Tyme (JTG & Shad)
Throughout the match Mark Henry was able to keep up a fight managing to sneak in a couple of power moves, as the match progressed it was noticeable that Mark Henry was getting tired of the repetitive tagging as Mark Henry, although Mark was at a major disadvantage he was able to show why he calls himself the worlds strongest man. Rey Mysterio and Mark Henry currently in the ring as JTG is on the outside floor in pain after making the tag just after coping a World’s Strongest Slam as he was able to roll his way to safety. Rey is able to buy time dodging Henry’s moves and using his speed to his advantage as he is able to get a couple of kicks and punches in although they are having no affect on Mark Henry what so ever. Rey was able to tag in Shad as he uses his size and his offence to hold bring Mark Henry down after a Big boot, clothesline combination, Shad covers but he only got a 2 count as he races to his feet, Rey Mysterio awaiting on the apron telling Shad to set him up for a 619!. Shad grabs Mark Henry as he tries to pull him of to the ropes, but no luck Rey Mysterio calls over the ref causing a distraction as JTG take the opportunity and helps Shad drag Mark Henry over the middle rope as JTG slides out of the ring, the ref turns around. Shad tagged Rey as Rey bounces off the back ropes and runs forward...the crowd are all on there feet…619!!! Mark Henry falls back as Rey is standing on the apron as he awaits for Mark Henry to stand, and when he does his going to take action, Mark get to his feet as Rey Mysterio jumps up onto the top rope and leaps off…West Coast Pop…there’s the pin picking up the 3 count
Winners Via Pinfall : Rey Mysterio and Cryme Tyme
The camera cuts to Mick Foley and Michael Cole as they being to talk about what took place before it turns into a discussion about Night of Champions, mention that Cryme Tyme will vs. Ryder and Hawkins vs. Jesse and Festus before turning the discussion on to Rey Mysterio taking on JBL and John Cena.
The Camera cuts backstage as we see John Morrison standing with a cocky look on his face as he begins talking about Night Of Champions, he mentions that MVP and Finlay have never won a world title stating that he has won the ECW title dozens of times and since ECW got cancelled he has set his eyes on the U.S championship. “I will defeat anyone and everyone” John Morrison said as he continues mentioning that at Night Of Champions he will leave the ring champion, leaving MVP and Finlay motionless in the ring as he continues to boast about himself before, ditching the microphone and leaving view of the camera as SmackDown goes to a Commercial
[[Commercial]]
SmackDown returns to air, as the WWE fans erupts as Shawn Michael’s Music hits the arena as he heads to the ramp, as the crowd chant “Welcome”. Shawn gives out a couple off hi fives as he enters the ring he his handed a microphone. Shawn begins to talk about how he got drafted to raw and this is his first time on SmackDown in his career, the fans still screaming and cheering as Shawn waits for them to quite down. Shawn tells the fans that tonight he will not participate in a match tonight as just then on the titantron Randy Orton appears as the fans gibe out a loud boo as he tell Shawn he is returning next week from his injury sustain weeks back as he mentions that his coming after Shawn next week. The titantron fades to black as Shawn Michaels is left speech less in the ring as his theme music hits the arena, as he exits the ring via the middle and top rope.
Match Five
NoC Preview
JBL vs. John Cena
Each wrestler is hated and loved by many as this match is so close, no one is able to predict who will win?...John Cena will get knock down but then bounce back up same goes to JBL, as neither has had the chance to use there finishers but both have come close. JBL and Cena lock up once again as the both fight for the upper hand JBL able to bounce Cena off the ropes as he runs forward, Cena shoulder block, JBL bounces back but only to be welcomed by another shoulder block, Cena looks pumped as he bounces off the ropes, clothesline to JBL. Cena taking control off the match as he continues to taunt JBL, John dusts off his shoulder as the crowd erupt as they know what’s coming next, Cena bounces off the ropes…Five Knuckle Shuffle…No!! JBL rolls out of the way as both men race to there feet, JBL with a left punch…right, left, right, left…Cena is backed up in a corner as JBL walks back and runs forward clothesline squashing John Cena between JBL and the turnbuckle. Then, as John Cena hits the floor, JBL grabs him once again and this time he was going for the powerslam. He hits it and goes for the pin 1…2… But out of nowhere, Cena kicks out and the match goes on. JBL could not believe this as he is now shocked and he lifts Cena up but Cena reverses it and kicks JBL in the gut and lifts him up for the F-U! He goes to hit it but out of nowhere, JBL gets out of it and as he is now standing, he hits Cena with the Clothesline from hell! He then pins Cena for the 1…2…3!
Winner via Pinfall: JBL
[[Commercial]]
The camera now cuts backstage as Chris Jericho is shown getting ready for his match against the Undertaker. He speaks out to the fans that he will not come out to just get the pinfall but he will come out to wreck Undertaker’s legacy by torturing him until he is unconscious. He also says that this match will be the most important of his life as he cannot stand Undertaker and Shawn Michaels too and says he has killed off one and now its Undertaker’s time.
Main Event
Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho
Both men stare at each other as the Undertaker takes his hat off and Chris Jericho watches on in disgust. The match so far has been gone on with the two superstars canceling each other out. Right now, Undertaker has locked in the armbar on Jericho. He tries to get out but can’t so the ref starts counting up until three and the Undertaker let’s go. Jericho tries to get up as the Undertaker now stares at him and lifts him up. He then goes for a clothesline but Jericho moves away. Undertaker tries to recover but he is met by an elbow to his face. Taker now goes to the opposite ropes as Jericho does a one handed bulldog and Taker lands on the ropes. Now he goes down as Jericho looks at him and does a grin. He then starts to kick Undertaker on the legs and keeps working on at it. He then placed him near the ropes and was going for the lionsault. He hits it but Taker is now in a sitting position and grabs Jericho’s neck and he is now about to do a chokeslam. He hits it and then he was not finished with Jericho as he does the choke taunt and it is time for a tombstone piledriver. He grabs Jericho and then turns him upside down and he goes for the finisher. He fails to do so as Jericho gets away by rolling Taker into a pin 1…2… But Taker kicks out and is shocked to see the tables turned around on him. Now Jericho starts to punch Taker so that he does not get up and then he goes to the other corner and grabs some knuckles. The ref does not see this and he punches Taker with it and Taker goes down to the floor. Jericho was not finished as he then goes outside the ring and grabs a chair. The ref tells him to stop and he let’s go of the chair. But a second later he grabs it again and hits the referee with it. The ref is down and Chris Jericho goes to the ring and starts to hit Undertaker with it multiple of times. Now, Chris Jericho grabs a second chair. With the first chair, he places it in Undertaker’s neck and he hits it like 7 times with the second chair. Undertaker seems unconscious.
Winner via DQ: The Undertaker.
Chris Jericho then leaves as lots of referees come to help out the Undertaker. Chris Jericho leaves by grinning and the show fades off.
WWE: Changing It Forever
Re: WWE: Changing It Forever
. So did Regalle 
. Good solid match that would have been a great opener instead of the awful Womens match. 
Well done.
