11-13-2011, 02:08 AM
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Victoria, Australia
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
The most exciting thing for me on this next episode of Raw is the reaction of Charlie Haas after everything that took place last week. I've predicted his turn to come pretty soon, and this show will probably let me know if it's actually going to happen or not. The retaliation of Kurt Angle is going to be something else to look forward to, and whilst RVD/Kane isn't the most exciting contest inn the world, I can't see it having a clean finish. Show, and 'Lito and his posse to get involved, maybe even causing the match to get changed to a tag contest? The rest of the in ring action bar Trish against a waste of space looks pretty solid, and I'm also hoping to see something to give Cena/Michaels some much needed life.
As ever, it has the makings to be a great show. I'll be reading.
11-13-2011, 11:43 AM
Convinced Vince to make me a Main-Eventer
Join Date: Aug 2004
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
Raw looks to be like it's going to be another solid show, John. As Stoj said I'm glad you've lessened the appearances of the ECW guys in this thread as of late, although unlike Stoj, I don't see Van Dam winning the WWE Championship as a certainty. I guess if you have Orton go through all the ECW guys and then win the ECW Championship, that could be the final nail in the coffin of ECW. Van Dam could then go on to win the WWE Championship as a sign that we are finally moving on from the ECW era. Or, on the other hand, you could have Van Dam look good but ultimately lose to the Big Show, signalling the end of ECW once and for all. Whichever way you're going, I'm sure your writing style will make it incredibly interesting to read.
After the way he brutalised Kurt Angle last week, I'd say it's pretty hard to argue that Triple H is the top heel on Raw right now. Sure, Big Show is WWE Champion, but if he wants to be known as the biggest and baddest there is, he'll need to match what Trips has done. I'm not saying you haven't booked Show well because you've certainly booked him a lot stronger now than you did a few months ago, but he's still not as "dominant" as he was back when he won the championship.
There's a lot more I could comment on but I really need to get back to my essay now.
Just one thing; are Benjamin and Haas still your World Tag Team Champions, and Angle was just a one night substitute? Or has Angle now effectively replaced Haas as one half of the champions?
01-12-2012, 02:44 PM
I'M A WOLF BEAST GUY
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: White Hart Lane
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
So I originally posted this preview on ... November 11th. Oops. The show's been done for a while, bar one promo in particular that has been giving me some problems i.e. it was shit every time I wrote it. My schedule's a bit more relaxed now (goodbye working life, hello again student life) so I'm aiming to race through SummerSlam as quickly as possible. But let's be honest, how often have you heard me say that
Anyway, I'll definitely be posting Raw on Friday, so I just wanted to put the preview up again to refresh any memories out there that have become stagnant in my lazy absence
~ Monday Night RAW Preview ~
One week on from one of the most explosive and shocking RAW’s in WWE history, we roll into East Rutherford, New Jersey, with scores to settle! In an incredible turn of events last week, Kurt Angle partnered with Shelton Benjamin in the main event to defeat Rob Van Dam and Sabu to retain the World Tag Team Titles. Yes, I said retain. Earlier in the night - in the opening seconds in fact - Shelton Benjamin’s regular tag team partner, Charlie Haas, was attacked in the parking lot by Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, The Redneck Wrecking Crew, injuring him to such an extent that Commissioner Terry Funk would not allow him compete in the main event! Much to Haas’ surprise, Shelton promised he would find a substitute partner, and boy, did he ever. Fresh off his controversial loss at the hands of Shawn Michaels in his ‘Pick Your Poison’ match, Angle was the perfect replacement; filling in for one of his former protégé’s and teaming with the other. In fact, he and Benjamin worked so well together that they were able to match the former 2-time ECW World Tag Team Champions RVD and Sabu every step of the way, with neither side able to score a pin fall or submission as the clock ran down and the twenty minute time limit expired.
But after the match, amidst the confusion, tragedy struck. Once Sabu and Van Dam were long gone, Angle and Benjamin were viciously attacked in the ring by Cade & Murdoch! Wielding a cowbell and some kind of alcoholic substance, the ruthless Texans were able to bloody and blind both Angle and Benjamin respectively! Things only got worse for the champions, when Triple H, a man who was not even supposed to be in Cleveland, entered the ring with a plastic bag and tried to suffocate Kurt Angle with it! Ever the student of the game, The Game took his hatred for the Olympic Gold Medallist to another level, in a move reminiscent of our own dear Commissioner’s attack on ‘The Nature Boy’ all those years ago. Benjamin too, almost had his skull shattered at the hands of Cade ‘n’ Murdoch, but fortunately RAW’s medics were able to get to both men quickly following the assault and they are both fine. Angle had to spend a precautionary night in the local hospital, and will not be in East Rutherford for this week’s RAW. However, the remaining five men involved - including Charlie Haas - will be in attendance. What kind of retribution will be reaped?
As previously mentioned, Rob Van Dam was unsuccessful in his attempt to become a 4-time World Tag Team Champion here in the WWE, but that was not the only thing on his plate last week. Last week in Cleveland, it became official: on August 20th, live from the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts, Rob Van Dam will challenge The Big Show for the WWE Championship. During a contract signing marred with interruptions, Mr. Monday Night signed on the dotted line, securing the biggest match of his life. The monstrous WWE Champion did not take too kindly to Van Dam’s bravado, and just when it looked as though The Whole Dam Show would not be making it to SummerSlam, Kane hit the scene! As is usual when The Big Red Machine is around, things got out of hand in a hurry, leading to Van Dam inadvertently striking Kane, sparking a brawl between the two crowd favourites! They were eventually separated, but the incident was not forgotten, as Kane appeared at the conclusion of Van Dam’s unsuccessful tag team title match to reignite their war. Needless to say, the challenge has been made by both parties in the week, and it has been made official by the Commissioner’s office; tonight on RAW, it will be ‘The Big Red Machine’ Kane - the man currently (illegally, we are contractually obligated to say) in possession of Carlito’s Money in the Bank briefcase - going one-on-one with the Number One Contender to the WWE Title, ‘Mr. Monday Night’ Rob Van Dam!
Also on RAW, after successfully defeating Justin Credible last week, Randy Orton will continue his ‘ECW World Heavyweight Championship Series’ as he takes on another former wearer of the prestigious belt, none other than the fearsome Masato Tanaka! Orton looked impressive in his victory last week, but Tanaka is one of the toughest men in all of professional wrestling. Will this be the end of the road for Orton’s ECW World Title quest? All this and more, on Monday Night RAW, 9/8 central on USA! Don't miss it!
:: Confirmed Matches ::
Kane Vs Rob Van Dam
Randy Orton Vs Masato Tanaka
Orton must win to keep his ECW World Title dreams alive
John Cena Vs Chris Masters
Gregory Helms & Chavo Guerrero Vs The Spirit Squad
Trish Stratus Vs Ashley Massaro
BREAKING NEWS - Shawn Michaels to miss Monday Night RAW
July 30, 2006
wwe.com has just received word from Shawn Michaels' camp that the San Antonio native will NOT be appearing on RAW this week. Commissioner Terry Funk has confirmed and authorised the absence of the superstar, who is currently still deliberating over the stipulation of his extremely personal match with John Cena on August 20th at SummerSlam.
As of time of posting, we have had no response from Cena.
LATE BREAKING NEWS - Stevie Richards accepts Matt Striker's invitation
July 30, 2006
We can now announce that in addition to the incredible line-up already posted by us here at wwe.com for tomorrow night's RAW from East Rutherford, New Jersey, a special edition of 'The Classroom' will be held, as Matt Striker welcomes Stevie Richards to the show. Striker has been 'schooling' us for months in pre-taped segments, mostly filled with praise for 'The Legend Killer' Randy Orton and derision for his soon-to-be guest Richards.
What kind of behaviour can the disgraced former New York schoolteacher expect when he welcomes the ECW alumnus onto the very first live edition of his Classroom?
Last edited by Legend : 01-18-2012 at 08:51 AM.
01-12-2012, 04:56 PM
Learning to break kayfabe
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Derby, England
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
Damn thought you'd given up the ghost, good to have ya back man, looking forward to Raw!
01-13-2012, 04:17 PM
I'M A WOLF BEAST GUY
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: White Hart Lane
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
Monday Night RAW- July 31st, 2006; East Rutherford, New Jersey
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SHAWN MICHAELS!?”
It’s a solemn sight as we open up Monday Night RAW, with J.R., Joey Styles and Jonathan Coachman all STANDING on the stage with very grave expressions on their faces indeed, even Coach. All three announcers hold microphones.
Jim Ross: Welcome to Monday Night RAW, ladies and gentlemen, live from East Rutherford, New Jersey. I’m J.R., Jim Ross, alongside Joey Styles and The Coach.
~ Good pop.
Jim Ross: In… well, in just a few moments we’re going to show you the footage from the aftermath of last week’s World Tag Team Title match. After… after Shelton Benjamin and Kurt Angle - who had been filling in for the injured Charlie Haas - successfully retained against Sabu and Rob Van Dam … things… well… things got completely out of hand.
Joey Styles: I’m pretty that… uh… by now … everyone will have an idea what you’re talking about, J.R. … and will agree that the actions of… of … Triple H … were completely disgusting.
Jim Ross: We’ll be speaking to The Game in a moment … but first … let’s go back … to last week…
*Cut to video*
Murdoch tries his luck once more, leaping up onto the apron, where he’s instantly rocked by a hard right hand! Shelton pulls Murdoch up on the apron by the throat … BUT MURDOCH SMASHES A BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD!!!
Jim Ross: OH GOD!!!
The crowd reacts with shock, as Benjamin, blinded, falls away, clutching at his face and eyes, rolling from the ring!!
Joey Styles: He smashes ‘im!! I saw it, when Shelton picked Murdoch up…
Jim Ross: It was- It was some kind of beer bottle, for Chrissakes!!
Joey Styles: Definitely a glass bottle, Benjamin’s got it in his face…
After another right hand to Cade on the other side of the ring, Angle comes across to hammer Murdoch as he enters the ring, whaling away on the redneck with huge right hands. Murdoch takes a wild swing, which Angle ducks and goes behind … GERMAN SUPLEX!!
Jim Ross: Shelton Benjamin is- he’s covered in glass! He’s like a- he’s like a blind man out on the floor, he’s helpless!!
Joey Styles: I don’t how deeply cut he is, but if any of glass got in his eyes, Murdoch could’ve blinded the Intercontinental Champion here!!
The crowd ROARS, as Murdoch gets dumped on the back of his head, whilst Angle pops right back up, seething with intensity, and immediately going for Murdoch’s leg, GOING FOR THE ANKLE LOCK!!! Another cheer fills the arena, as Murdoch fights for his life -- BAM! CADE HITS ANGLE IN THE FACE WITH THE FUCKING RING BELL!!!
Jim Ross: OH… GOD!! Cade hit Angle right between the eyes with that- that bell!!
Thunderous “OH’s” boom out, as Angle goes down in a heap from the heinous shot. Benjamin is still blinded on the outside, unable to help his tag team partner, as Cade backs the Olympic Gold Medallist into the corner and begins to pound away on his now BLOODY FOREHEAD with vicious closed fist strikes, one after another!!
Jim Ross: He hit ‘im right in the face with that bell, and Angle has been busted open!!
Struggling back up to his feet, Murdoch joins his partner in the assault, stomping away on Angle in the corner.
Joey Styles: Angle has to fight against ‘em both now! They’re both in the ring! The referee is out of there! Angle’s goin’ it alone against two of the most dangerous men in professional wrestling! Shelton Benjamin is a mess on the other side of the ring, he can’t help!!
Jim Ross: Shelton Benjamin has been severely lacerated, the glass in the face! Angle has to fight both men alone, and Angle is bleeding like crazy!
Shelton recovers slightly from the glass in his face and tries to pull himself back up to the apron … only for Murdoch to quickly hurry across and knock him down once more with a swift forearm to the face!!
Murdoch stays on the Intercontinental Champion, as Cade pounds on Angle, pulling the bloody Olympian up for more damage. Kurt tries to fight back, but he is just too worn down, and Cade has no trouble avoiding his wild swings.
As Cade steps back from the kneeling Angle to admire his handiwork, the crowd begins to scream and boo loudly … as … TRIPLE H SLIDES INTO THE RING, wielding a something in his hands!!!
Jim Ross: What the-- TRIPLE H IS HERE!!!
Joey Styles: TRIPLE H!! TRIPLE H, HE’S HERE AFTER ALL, AND HE’S GOT A- A WHAT IS THAT, J.R.!?
Coming up quickly behind the Olympic Gold Medallist, Helmsley PUTS A PLASTIC BAG OVER ANGLE’S HEAD AND AROUND HIS NECK!!! HE’S TRYING TO SUFFOCATE KURT ANGLE!!!
Jim Ross: HE’S PUT IT-- OH MY GOD!! HE’S TRYING TO SUFFOCATE KURT ANGLE!!!
The reaction is one of horror, as The Game yanks at the length of thick rope with his teeth, trying to secure the bag around Angle’s neck, looking to take the oxygen away from the man completely!!
Jim Ross: TRIPLE H IS WRAPPIN’ IT!! HE’S TYING IT AROUND ANGLE’S NECK!! THE GAME HAS LOST HIS MIND!!
Joey Styles: Angle can’t imagine what’s happening to him or why! He’s been beaten by Cade and Murdoch, and now Triple H’s got a bag! He’s tied it around Angle’s neck!!
Dressed in his street clothes, H drags the helpless Angle across the ring, choking the life out of him in the corner, as the man tries desperately to fight back!!
Jim Ross: HE’S TRYING TO CHOKE - LITERALLY - THE LIFE OUT OF THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST!!! ROPE AROUND HIS NECK, ANGLE CANNOT BREATHE!!
Cade ‘n’ Murdoch try to keep Shelton Benjamin at bay on the other side of the ring, but he somehow makes it into the ring, hammering away on the two men in a heroic effort to make it to his breathless partner!!
Joey Styles: Shelton Benjamin has his eyes cleared up somewhat, he’s trying to come in and fight!!
Jim Ross: The ring bell has been tossed into the ring!! Angle is out of it!!
Angle manages to get himself through the ropes and tumbles to the floor in a heap, the bag still over his head, as Trips stands on the apron yelling at him!!
Joey Styles: They’ve got Benjamin! They’ve got Shelton down! Cade with the ring bell! Murdoch is holding Shelton up!!
Jim Ross: SHELTON IS IN TROUBLE!!!
Meanwhile, the RWC manage to wrestle Benjamin down, pulling his legs from under him and dragging him out to the floor. Murdoch hangs onto Shelton by the arms, keeping the Intercontinental Champion from getting away … AS CADE SMASHES A STEEL CHAIR ACROSS HIS SKULL!!!
Jim Ross: OH GOD, RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!! RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!
Joey Styles: They got ‘im tight and they broke it…
Jim Ross: They broke it!! They broke the chair right on his damn head!!
More BOOMING cries of “OH” greet the sickening sound, as Shelton gets the redneck treatment, writhing around in agony, clutching his head in pain, whilst Cade and especially Murdoch look on with great satisfaction at their handiwork.
*Back to ringside*
We return to the stage, where only Joey Styles remains, with J.R. and Coach gone, replaced by a figure who is having the HELL booed out of him. It is, of course, ‘The Game’ TRIPLE H, dressed in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and shades, looking very menacing, and very, very pleased with himself, ignoring the overwhelming heat.
Joey Styles: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’m… I’m sorry we had to show you that… (Glances at H) that incident again.
~ Helmsley smirks, as Styles holds up a piece of paper.
Joey Styles: Before we came on the air I was given this statement from Mick Foley, the Executive Enforcer of World Wrestling Entertainment, on behalf of the McMahons.
~ Raising an eyebrow, The Game folds his arm and rubs his chin.
Joey Styles: Here we go. (Reads) “Wrestling is, by its very nature, a violent and dangerous sport. Wrestlers are injured every single day in this business and we believe that each of them accept that as a possibility when pursuing such a career. What they do not and should not have to accept is an attempt against their very life. There is no place in the sport of professional wrestling for such actions, regardless of the animosity between two individuals. What Hunter Hearst Helmsley did last week was reprehensible and we can only thank God that the injuries sustained by Kurt Angle were not too severe.”
~ “Amen.” - J.R.
Joey Styles: “Therefore … (Glances nervously) Triple H … is hereby … SUSPENDED indefinitely from wrestling… “
~ A THUNDEROUS pop rings out, as Hunter tears his shades off, staring at Styles wildly.
Joey Styles: “…and will NOT be allowed to compete under the banner of World Wrestling Entertainment.” It is signed…
~ With the crowd still going wild, H tries to grab the statement, but Styles holds it back.
Joey Styles: “…it is signed (Points) “Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Jr., CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment.”
Triple H: Gimme that! (Snatches the statement, scanning it) Did- Did Foley give you this?
Joey Styles: Uh … yeah.
Triple H: How the hell does- Who the- Mick Foley doesn’t have the authority to suspend me! Is he- Is he some kind of hypocrite or somethin’!? You all--
Joey Styles: “Hypocrite”!?
Triple H: That’s right, J.R., you heard me, a hypocrite! (Reaches up) Here…
~ Helmsley begins to sweep his hair back for some reason, as Styles points to the statement again.
Joey Styles: This… this isn’t just signed by Mick Foley. (Points again) It’s signed by all the McMahons and the Board of Directors.
Triple H: (Looking) What’s this!? Oh you have got to be… they… they want me to pay a fine of two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars! A QUARTER OF A MILLION!!
~ Another HUGE pop, as Trips angrily tears the statement into pieces, hurling it to the ground.
Triple H: Are- Are they crazy!? Who the hell do they think they’re dealing with here!? (Points) I’m not- I’m not just some SCHMUCK nobody who’s gonna crumble under the pressure! NOBODY knows the McMahons as well as I do … and if they think… if they think that I’m gonna throw up two hundred and fifty GRAND for an… (Scoffs) for some sort of apology … then they’re even more deluded than I thought!!
~ Crowd boos, as The Game sweeps his hair back again, grabbing the cameraman back the collar and dragging him in, forcing him to focus on his scarred forehead.
Triple H: Take a look at that! (Points to his forehead) So it- it’s alright for Mick Foley to mark me for LIFE with a flaming piece of barbed wire, is it!?
~ Ironic pop, as both Joey Styles and the cameraman cower.
Triple H: Look at my head! That’s what that- that lunatic did to me!
~ Trips shoves the cameraman away again.
Triple H: What about that, huh!? What about- What about when Angle almost- almost broke my friggin’ ankle back in January!? What about that!? I couldn’t walk for WEEKS!!
~ More ironic cheers, as Hunter growls furiously at them.
Triple H: And now Vince and Linda and Shane and Steph all want me to crawl on my hands and knees with a sackful of MY money and… (Screws up his face) and beg their forgiveness!?
~ He shakes his head quickly.
Triple H: That ain’t happenin’. Not now. Not ever. Hell yes I tried to end Kurt Angle! (Gestures with his hands) I put that noose around his neck … (Grits his teeth) and I pulled as hard as I could … and I- I wish I was still pulling now just to make sure that sunnuva’ bi--
Joey Styles: Hey, hey, that’s enough! That’s enough, okay? You’re suspended, okay? (Points to the back) You have to go now.
Triple H: “Go”!? Go where!?
Joey Styles: That’s your problem.
~ As the crowd begins the usual “Na na na na” chant, a gang of burly security guards walk out onto the stage to join Styles, as Hunter’s eyes light up.
Triple H: Aw, This is BULLS**T! (Swings) Get your hands off me!!
~ The security guards proceed to grab hold of the former ten-time World’s Heavyweight Champion at every part of his anatomy, completely overpowering him and dragging him off the stage to thunderous cheers from the crowd, as he screams, “NO, NO, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!”
Jim Ross: Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first … Triple H, The Game, is suspended indefinitely due to his unforgiveable actions last week.
*Cut to Video*
A huge, boxing-style poster flaps across the screen, as Michael Buffer’s voice reads the words aloud:
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Supercard of the Summer”
We see slow-motion shots of various wrestlers preparing for their big fights in the hallways; hoods up, bouncing on their toes, as their trainers talk to them.
We cut to Shelton Benjamin at a press conference, whilst a Don King-lookalike jabbers away.
Don King: It’s gonna’ be spontaneous, contagious, outrageous!!
Shot of Kurt Angle stepping onto the scales, flexing.
Shot of Big Show and Rob Van Dam face-to-face (or as close as they can get) at the press conference, posing with their fists raised, as the lightbulbs of the paparazzi flash away.
Edge arriving in a limousine, stepping out in a suit and shades, as dozens of fans mob him.
Shots of Bobby Lashley in the training room working over the bag.
Don King: He gonna’ duck, he gonna’ weave … he gonna’ dodge ‘n’ deceive!!
Shots of Rey Mysterio kneeling in the ring with his down against the middle turnbuckle, uttering a silent prayer, followed by more slow-motion shots of journalists at ringside taking notes.
“On the biggest wrestling show of the Summer…”
Flashing shots of Michael Buffer announcing various superstars, such as Matt Hardy, Charlie Haas, Mr. Kennedy and Sabu, all of whom throw their arms in the air to the roar of the crowd.
Clip of The Hooligans hitting the Tower of Londrick on Paul Burchill, followed by Randy Orton doing his pose.
“The Supercard of the Summer…”
John Cena throwing his arms in the air on Raw; Brent Albright walking to the ring on SmackDown.
Shot of Shawn Michaels sat in a press conference taking question.
Shawn Michaels: I want your heart. I want to eat his children.
Cut to an appalled looking Mike Tyson- lookalike stood at the back of the room shaking his head.
“WWE SummerSlam, August 20th, 8/7CT, live on pay-per-view.”
*Back to ringside*
Joey Styles is still on the podium section of the stage, apparently taking on the ‘Mean’ Gene role tonight.
Joey Styles: Thank you, J.R. That’s right, continuing on from Triple H’s suspension earlier on tonight, right now I’d like to bring in two gentlemen who featured heavily in the chaotic events of last week and were both victims of attacks in their own right … (Crowd begins to cheer) the World Tag Team Champions … Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin … the World’s Greatest Tag Team.
~ As Styles is speaking, the World Tag Team Champions do indeed join him on the podium, but the World’s Greatest Tag Team show the effects of last week, with Shelton Benjamin bouncing along on crutches, one title belt around his waist, the other over his shoulder, and Charlie Haas with his injured arm in a sling, slowly trudging behind his partner with his head down, looking dejected, and … beltless, interestingly enough.
Joey Styles: Now, gentlemen, as we can see you’re both still feeling the effects of last week. Charlie, you’re arm’s still in the sling … and, Shelton, you’re knee’s still pretty bad. I don’t know if it’s possible right now … but what are you guys thinking right now after what you’ve been through?
~ Joey holds the mic up to Benjamin, who leans on one of his crutches to speak.
Shelton Benjamin: Well … first of all, Joey … we’d like to give a shout out to our good friend Kurt Angle.
~ BIG pop for Angle, with Shelton nodding his head firmly, encouraging the “Angle” chants. Haas remains unmoved, staring over his shoulder in a disinterested manner.
Shelton Benjamin: He’s not here this week. He’s recovering from the attack last week at home with his wife and child and… and what happened to him … (Points to their respective injuries) it makes these look like nothing. A bruised hand and a bad wheel pale into insignificance compared to what Kurt had to go through last week.
~ Haas raises an eyebrow.
Joey Styles: Of course. And yet… it was all going so well for you, Shelton. We thought you were in trouble following Charlie’s injury … but you managed to come up with a tremendous replacement in Kurt Angle in order to… well, I suppose you did actually retain the World Tag Team Titles in the end against Rob Van Dam and Sabu due to the nature of a time limit draw.
Shelton Benjamin: (Smirks, chuckling) Yeah… well, uh… Kurt brought us into this company, y’know? He was our mentor. He taught us the ropes. If anyone knows me as well (Pats Haas on the back) as this man right here … it’s Kurt Angle.
Joey Styles: Well, speaking of the World Tag Team Title … (Points) I see you’ve got yours there, Shelton. (To Haas) Charlie … what’s going on, man? Where’s your belt?
~ Looking pretty pissed by this, Haas glares at the announcer, before Shelton cuts in.
Shelton Benjamin: Uh… yeah… it’s a funny story actually.
~ Again, Haas’ face would suggest otherwise.
Shelton Benjamin: Last week… I’m sure you all know that Kurt was taken to the hospital right away … and his wife Karen had to come get his things. Well, uh… (Chuckles) ha, ha… I don’t think she quite understood that Kurt was only filling in for Charlie here … ‘cause she… uh…
Charlie Haas: (Leaning in, interrupting) She took my belt.
~ The emphasis on the word “my” is clear, and Shelton gives his buddy a quick look.
Joey Styles: Well … that’s what I wanted to ask next, Charlie. Given that you were injured last week and were unable to defend your tag team title … what do you think of Shelton’s pick of a replacement? Not bad huh? They don’t come much better than a six-time World’s Champion right?
~ Haas stares right back at Style with furious, offended eyes, seemingly unable to believe the gall of this guy.
Charlie Haas: (Completely unimpressed) … … … Right.
~ Haas turns away, not getting a very good response from the crowd, as Style looks around nervously.
Joey Styles: Uh… I was just--
Shelton Benjamin: (Turning to Charlie) You got somethin’ to say, man?
~ Haas turns around.
Charlie Haas: (Mumbling) No.
Shelton Benjamin: C’mon. (Pats him on the shoulder) If you’ve got something to say to me…
Charlie Haas: Forget about it. (Looking away) I’ve got nothin’ to say.
Shelton Benjamin: Why’re you actin’ like a jerk then?
~ Uh oh. “Ooh’s” and “ah’s” ring out, as Haas looks up angrily.
Charlie Haas: (Rolls his eyes) You gotta’ be kiddin’ me.
Shelton Benjamin: What’s that supposed to mean?
Charlie Haas: (Looking down) Nothin’.
Shelton Benjamin: Look … quit… (Pulls Haas’ head up aggressively) quit lookin’ at the floor and say what you gotta’ say to my FACE!
~ More LOUD “ooh’s” and “ah’s” this time, as the tag team partners go eye-to-eye.
Charlie Haas: (Nodding, quietly) Alright. Alright, if that’s the way it’s gonna be…
Shelton Benjamin: Yeah, it--
Charlie Haas: YOU REPLACED ME!!
~ Shelton is caught completely off guard by this outburst, reeling back slightly from his red-faced, fuming friend, as the crowd delivers a mixed reaction.
Shelton Benjamin: I… what?
Charlie Haas: (Pointing) You replaced me, man. I was gone for an hour - ONE HOUR - and you went and got yourself a new partner just… (Shakes his head) just, like, that.
~ Haas takes a step closer.
Charlie Haas: Is that how easy I am to replace? Is that how meaningless Charlie Haas is to the World’s Greatest Tag Team?
Shelton Benjamin: You know that--
Charlie Haas: (Sticking his finger in Shelton’s face) No! All I know is that I would NEVER replace YOU!
~ Another mixed reaction.
Charlie Haas: We’re a team, man. The World’s Greatest Tag Team is US!! It’s not just a name. It’s Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin showin’ the world just how much better than them we really are.
~ This gets some heat.
Charlie Haas: If you ain’t around … (Shakes his head) I don’t wanna’ team with anybody else. What use is bein’ the World Tag Team Champion if you haven’t got your partner … your best friend … by your side?
~ The Intercontinental Champion is speechless, staring right back at his obviously wounded comrade with wide, surprised eyes, unable to believe what he is hearing. Those in the crowd seem concerned too, as the tension between the two partners grows with each passing second.
Joey Styles: Uh… gentlemen… I’m sorry to interject…
~ Neither man seems willing to look away.
Joey Styles: … but we have learned tonight that in two weeks time on August 14th … the Monday Night RAW before SummerSlam in fact … Commissioner Terry Funk has granted Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, The Redneck Wrecking Crew, what will be - thanks to a stipulation added by Mick Foley - their FINAL opportunity at your World Tag Team Titles. Do you… do you… (Looks nervously between the two) uh… have any thoughts on that?
Charlie Haas: (Scoffs) Yeah, Shelton… who’re you gonna’ replace me with this time?
~ Benjamin raises a finger slowly, pointing it in Charlie’s face.
Shelton Benjamin: You were injured.
Charlie Haas: “Injured”? Are you- Are you kiddin’ me? (Holds up his arm) You’ve roughed me up worse than this in trainin’. I’ve wrestled (Air quotes) ‘injured’ - as you like to put it - plenty of times.
Shelton Benjamin: The title was on the line, man.
Charlie Haas: “The titles were…” Gimme’ a break. You couldn’t WAIT to get rid of me, just admit it!
~ Boos for Haas’ angry rant, as Shelton shakes his head, his teeth gritted.
Charlie Haas: But y’know what? It- It’s fine. ‘Cause I’m gonna’ show you how injured I am…
~ Shelton braces.
Charlie Haas: … … … at SummerSlam.
~ The crowd buzzes, as Benji raises an eyebrow sceptically.
Charlie Haas: You said the night after the Vengeance (Jabs a finger at the IC Title belt) that I could have another Intercontinental Title shot any time I wanted. Well, guess what? I’m cashin’ in.
~ Another mixed reaction, as Shelton returns the fierce gaze.
Charlie Haas: I want my rematch … and I want it on August 20th … Boston, Massachusetts … SummerSlam. Then you’ll see how injured I really a--
Shelton Benjamin: Is that it? Are you done? Are you finished? Is that what this is all about? (Holds up the belt) You want another shot at this?
Charlie Haas: Damn right I d--
Shelton Benjamin: You got it.
~ Quite a big pop from the crowd, and even Haas looks slightly taken aback by the swiftness of Shelton’s acceptance.
Shelton Benjamin: If it’ll knock some sense in to you … then you’ve got your rematch, pal.
~ A smug, borderline arrogant smile appears on Haas’ face momentarily, but it quickly fades, as the World Tag Team Champions butt heads on the stage, amidst the excited, surprised and worried buzzing of the crowd.
Joey Styles: Wow. Well, you heard it here, fir--
Charlie Haas: (Snatches the mic away) Gimme’ that. (Shoves Grisham aside) Shelton, I know everyone thinks you’re better than me.
~ Benjamin rolls his eyes, but the pop from the crowd suggests he’s right.
Charlie Haas: And I know you think you’re better than me.
~ Again, Shelton shakes his head, but Haas steps in close.
Charlie Haas: But at SummerSlam … (Face-to-face) we’re gonna find out who really is … (Softly) the world’s … greatest.
~ Neither man flinches, as Haas slowly turns his finger on himself.
Charlie Haas: … … … (Points) And it’s gonna be me.
~ Storming away instantly, Haas tosses the mic to Styles on the way past and disappears through the curtain, leaving the crowd in a state of shock, and Shelton Benjamin staring straight ahead in a mixture of anger, confusion and sadness … unable to believe what the hell just happened???
1 - Tag Team Match
Gregory Helms & Chavo Guerrero vs. The Spirit Squad
The action continues after the bell, with Helms pounding away on Johnny in one corner, while Chavo does the same across the ring to Nicky!!
With the crowd fully behind this new up and coming tag team, Helms and Chavo both send their opponents into the ropes, catching them on the way back with SIMULTANEOUS SLEEPER HOLDS!!
More cheers ring out, as the two cheerleaders flap around wildly in the ring, with their teammates going nuts at ringside. The referee eventually manages to restore some order, forcing Gregory Helms out of the ring, as Nicky and Johnny regroup on the floor.
After a brief huddle with the other two members of the Spirit Squad, Mitch and Mikey, Nemeth and Jeter return to the ring, with Johnny nominating himself as the legal man to take on the experienced Chavo Guerrero. But it’s the veteran who controls the match, taking Johnny off his feet with a variety of dropkicks and headscissors, before grabbing him in a side headlock and making the tag to Gregory Helms. Helms goes right after the arm of his opponent, working it over, and taking Jeter down to the mat to continue the punishment.
Johnny is able to escape and slither under the bottom rope to the floor, where he and Nicky call for a time out. The crowd boos, as the referee berates the cowardly quartet, with Nicky complaining about an imaginary hair pull, pointing and gesturing at his opponents angrily.
When they eventually return to the ring, it’s Nicky who tags himself in and hooks it up with Helms, taking the former Cruiserweight Champion over with a nice Fireman’s Carry takeover, showcasing his impressive college wrestling background, as he quickly backs across the ring with a smirk on his face. Helms looks slightly surprised, but nods, sweeping his hair out of his face, before getting back to his feet. The two men go at it again, this time with Helms getting the better of the exchange and taking Nemeth over with a nice Firearm’s Carry, controlling the arm once more and making the tag to Chavito Heat.
Nicky quickly scurries back into his corner, continuing the stall and waste time, complaining by an apparent thumb to the eye this time, as Chavo just stands with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. Nemeth eventually stops his whining long enough to engage Guerrero once again, quickly taking him down to the mat using a handful of hair, controlling the arm himself this time. Helms angrily tries to enter the ring, but the official cuts him off, allowing The Spirit Squad to make an illegal switch behind his back, with Johnny swapping places with his teammate, staying on the arm. The crowd boos, but the referee is none-the-wiser, as Johnny works over the arm of Chavo down on the mat, before making another quick tag to his partner.
This goes on for a long time, with Nicky cutting off Chavo’s numerous comeback attempts, whilst Helms seems incredibly wary of the other two cheerleaders at ringside. At one point, the official is warning Mitch and Mikey, as Guerrero manages to force Nemeth across the ring, actually making the tag … but the referee doesn’t see it, and quickly forces Helms back out to the apron, allowing The Squad to double team Chavo in their corner and make another tagless switch.
The punishment continues, with the former World Tag Team Champions looking better than they have in a long time tonight, methodically wearing down one-half of their opponents.
Once again, Chavo begins to drive Johnny back across the ring … so Nicky immediately grabs the attention of the official, distracting him … as Chavo makes the tag and Helms charges into the ring … only to be cut off by the referee, who once again ushers him back onto the apron!!
The boos ring out, as the cheerleaders beat on Guerrero on their side of the ring, unbeknownst to the hapless official. Another tag is made, bringing Nicky back in, and Nemeth comes of the top rope, dropping an axe handle right across the head of his opponent, as Johnny holds him in place.
After a bit more work on the arm, Nicky makes another rapid tag to his partner. Johnny tries to stay on top, but Chavo continues to fight back, showing great heart, before finally rolling under a wild clothesline from Jeter … rolling across the ring … leaping up … and … MAKING THE TAG TO GREGORY HELMS!!!
The crowd cheers, as Helms finally re-enters the fray, taking the fight right to Johnny Jeter, knocking him down with a series of clotheslines and dropkicks, scoring a near fall, before controlling him on the deck with a front chancery. Things shift very much in the direction of the newer unit, as Helms controls Johnny. Chavo puts his boot up, and Helms bounces Jeter off it face-first, before making another quick tag. Chavito is able to do a bit more damage to the youngster, but is ultimately driven back into the wrong part of town once again, where Nicky Nemeth quickly tags himself in and goes after the veteran.
He sends Chavo into the ropes and lowers his head for a back body drop … but Guerrero dives over with a Sunset Flip, trying to take Nicky over. Nemeth wobbles on his feet, trying to hang on, and grabbing hold of the top rope … but the referee kicks his hands off, and Guerrero takes him over. 1... 2... NO!
Johnny is quickly in to break it up, but Chavo is still in control. After tossing Nicky into the corner, he charges in, only for Nemeth to sidestep him, grabbing Chavito from behind, and LAUNCHING HIM OVERHEAD WITH HIS INVERTED BODY SLAM!!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s”, as Chavo writhes around in agony, and Nicky poses and preens, showered with applause from his teammates.
Another tag is made between the cheerleaders, and the most experienced and successful man in this match is punished some more. Getting Chavo into the corner, Johnny deliberately provokes the official, getting into an argument with the sayer of the law … as Nicky CHOKES CHAVO WITH THE TAG ROPE BEHIND HIS BACK!!!
More thunderous boos ring out, as Gregory Helms furiously tries to enter the ring to help his partner, but finds his path blocked by the man in the striped shirt. Pulling the breathless Guerrero out of the corner, Johnny aggressively tosses him through the ropes to the floor.
Nicky drops down to try and continue the beating out on the floor, but Helms quickly charges around, nailing the collegiate athlete with a few right hands, trying to help his partner. Once again, the official interjects himself, forcing Helms back around the ring to his corner … allowing Nemeth to pull Chavo up, holding him in place for MITCH AND MIKEY TO GET IN A FEW SHOTS!!
The crowd boos, but the two non-wrestling members of The Spirit Squad quickly walk away as soon as the referee looks over, holding their hands up innocently.
Chavo is eventually able to make it back into the ring, where Johnny takes him into the ropes once more … but Chavo ducks under the clothesline and comes back … WIPING JETER OUT WITH THE ROLLING LIGER KICK!!
The crowd cheers, as Guerrero continues his motion, springing up, and TAGGING IN GREGORY HELMS!!!
A huge roar goes up, as Helms enters the ring like a man possessed, taking on both of his opponents, knocking them down over and over again!! Chavo helps his partner out, and he and Nicky spill out to the floor, as Helms quickly forces the surprised Johnny into the ropes, taking him over backwards with the O’Connor Roll!! 1... 2... 3!!
Winners - Helms & Guerrero via pinfall at 13:11.
The crowd cheers, as Johnny sits up in shock, looking around frantically, whilst the other members of The Spirit Squad throw an absolute hissy fit. Helms and Guerrero have their hands raised by the official, receiving a nice pop from the crowd, as their journey towards the World Tag Team Title continues.
We are in thrust into almost total darkness. Off in the distance, the lone, silhouetted figure of someone shadow boxing can be seen, bouncing up and down on their toes, ducking and weaving; the only light being given off comes from their magnificent, shimmering golden gloves. A voice speaks over the scene...
Voice: I'm bringin' the fight…
Voice: …to Monday night…
*Back to ringside*
“I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL”
To a tremendous amount of heat, a dejected, and decidedly briefcase-less Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito steps out onto the stage. Dressed in an orange beach shirt, white pants and sandals, ‘Lito is joined as ever by the other members of his Cabana, the lovely Torrie Wilson, and the not-so lovely, but jacked up ‘Masterpiece’ Chris Masters, who wears nothing but a pair of jeans. Put a shirt on, man! Looking pretty pissed off (well, the guys anyway) the trio head for the ring. Torrie scrambles onto the apron, holding the ropes open for her two men, before quickly hurrying off to get a microphone from Lillian, giving the announcer a little hug in the process. She returns to the ring and hands it to her leader, ‘Lito, who snatches it away angrily, immediately pacing and talking over his fading music.
Carlito: Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright. Very funny. Let’s all… let’s all laugh at Carlito! (Fakes laughing) Ha, ha, ha!!
~ And laugh they do, as Carly sarcastically chortles along.
Carlito: Yeah, c’mon, ‘dat’s right. (Waves) Get it out your system.
~ The crowd continue to mock and boo the arrogant Puerto Rican, who quickly stops his fake guffawing.
Carlito: Okay… okay, are we done? Is everyone happy now? Good.
~ More heat rings out, as ‘Lito begins to pace again.
Carlito: (Pointing, nodding) Great… great trick, Kane … great trick. (Shakes his head) But… but ‘da joke’s over.
~ He stops, pointing up the ramp.
Carlito: Let’s just… how ‘bout you just bring the briefcase down here (Motions to the ring) … and we’ll forget this whole thing ever happened?
~ The crowd boos again, as the real Mr. Money in the Bank stares up the ramp expectantly, clearly growing increasingly agitated.
Carlito: (Pleading) Come- Come on, Kane. You- You’ve had your fun. You gave… you gave ‘de Big Show quite a scare last week didn’t you? (Nodding) Yeah… yeah, we liked ‘dat, didn’t we?
~ Carlito nods to the crowd, as well as to his two cohorts, who nods back frantically.
Carlito: Yeah, ‘da Cabana liked ‘dat. But it… but ‘dat… ‘da Money in ‘da Bank briefcase belongs (Points to himself) to Carlito.
~ Crowd boos.
Carlito: Carlito won ‘da ladder match at WrestleMania … and I’ve been patiently waitin’ for ‘da right moment to cash it in and become ‘da new WWE Champion.
~ A small “You Suck” chant begins, irking the youngster.
Carlito: You- You can’t just go and STEAL it off someone and ‘den cash it in. (Shakes his head) ‘Dat’s not how it works. ‘Dat’s not in ‘de rules. You have to EARN it, Kane.
~ ‘Lito stamps his sandal angrily.
Carlito: Look, Carlito’s sure… Carlito’s sure dere’ll be another Money in ‘da Bank match at WrestleMania Twenty-Three … an’… an’ Carlito will probably be WWE Champion by ‘den … (Fake smile) so I’ll put in a good word for you … make sure you get in ‘dat match.
~ Looking around and nodding, Carlito obviously thinks that’s a pretty good deal, despite the howls of the crowd. He continues to gaze up the ramp with wide, expectant eyes, his face trembling, becoming more frustrated with each passing moment without his precious briefcase.
Carlito: (Angrily) … DAMMIT, KANE!! ‘DAT BRIEFCASE BELONGS TO CARLITO!! I WANT IT BACK!!
~ Big-time heat, as Carly fumes, hand on head, staring around desperately.
Carlito: If you don’t give it back … (Looking around anxiously) ‘den- ‘den…
~ Looking around frantically, ‘Lito suddenly smiles and jumps across the ring.
Carlito: …Carlito’s gonna have to send ‘Da Masterpiece to come and TAKE it back!!
~ Masters nods … but realising what his buddy just said, and his eyes open wide, as he looks at Carlito, waving with his hands, saying, “No, no, no, no.” But ‘Lito has already turned away and is once again gesturing furiously up the ramp.
Carlito: Okay, ‘dat’s it!! Carlito’s givin’ you to the count… the count of ten to walk out here with his briefcase, (Motions down) place it down at my feet and apologise … (Looks at Masters) or- or dere’s gonna be trouble!!
~ ‘Lito gives The Masterpiece the thumbs up and a big cheesy grin, before turning away, as Masters puts his hand over his face.
~ The crowd continues to boo.
~ He walks to and fro between the ropes.
~ Torrie looks understandably nervous, as she tries to get Masters to talk some sense into her loudmouth beau.
~ “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”
~ He’s in the zone now, completely ignoring the derogatory chants being thrown his way.
~ Carly shakes his head angrily.
~ Hurrying up to her man, Torrie tries to talk to him, but ‘Lito is quick to dismiss the beauty, pushing her away.
~ Thr crowd now starts to get excited, anticipating the arrival of the Big Red Monster.
~ Shaking his head, ‘Lito turns to ‘Piece, giving him a look as if to say, “You ready?”, at which the young powerhouse swallows nervously.
“ERRRRRRRRK … CRASH!!!”
Jonathan Coachman: WHAT!?
The arena EXPLODES with a great ovation, as Carlito and co. spin around in the ring, their eyes wide with shock … as MICK FOLEY walks out onto the stage with his arm in the air to another great pop!! Dressed in his dirty, untidy suit and tie, the WWE’s Executive Enforcer takes a look at the figures in the ring, shaking his head, before heading on down the ramp.
Jim Ross: Well, that’s not Kane … IT’S MICK FOLEY!! The WWE’s new Executive Enforcer is here and… and I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing for Carlito. Mick ain’t exactly his biggest fan!!
Jonathan Coachman: It’s ALWAYS a bad thing when this goofball shows up, J.R.!
Making sure to slap hands with as many of the fans as possible, Foley continues on down to the ring, as ‘Lito goes nuts in the ring, turning to his cohorts and angrily yelling, “What ‘da is he doin’ here!? He doesn’t have Carlito’s briefcase!” Both Masters and Torrie shrug, trying to calm their leader down, as Foley gets himself a mic from Lillian, also receiving a hug from the friendly announcer, before climbing up the steel steps to join the confused trio in the ring.
Jonathan Coachman: This idiot cost Carlito the Gold Rush Tournament! Now he’s come to gloat!
Joey Style: He can do what he wants, Coach. He’s the boss’ right-hand man.
With Foley’s music dying down, the “Foley” chant begins, with Carlito looking around at the different sides of the arena with a bemused, disgusted expression on his face, as Foley smirks.
Mick Foley: You look… you look surprised to see me, Carlito.
~ Carlito screws his face up comically.
Mick Foley: You didn’t think I’d pass up the opportunity be on Monday Night RAW … (Big thumbs up) right here in East Rutherford, New Jersey!!
~ GREAT cheap pop, as Masters yells at the people to “Shut the hell up!”
Mick Foley: And besides … you forget that I’m not just wearing this suit and tie because my mother makes me anymore. (Adjusts his tie) I… I actually have a job. With McMahon’s dropping like flies, they appointed me as their Executive Enforcer to deal not only with the way their shows are run … but also … (Sticks his finger in ‘Lito’s face) to deal with the wrestlers themselves.
~ The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s”, as ‘Lito glances down at Foley’s finger as though it was covered in anthrax.
Mick Foley: And though I came here tonight to keep an eye on Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer … I couldn’t help but overhear you from the back, Carlito.
~ “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!”
Mick Foley: Y’see, that’s your- that one of your big problems … you talk waaaaay too much, pal.
~ “Carlito talks fine,” he retorts angrily.
Mick Foley: For such a little guy (Motions to his waist) … you sure do have a big mouth. And it keeps getting you in trouble.
~ The crowd pops, as ‘Lito’s eyes bug out of his head.
Mick Foley: I want… I would like to take you back to two weeks ago during the Gold Rush Tournament … right before your match with RVD in fact.
~ Uh oh. Carly swallows. Bad memories.
Mick Foley: Let’s take a look at what you said shall we?
~ Foley motions up to the titantron, with ‘Lito nervously following his hand, as the crowd looks up as well…
*Cut to video*
Mick Foley: So I’ll tell you what … if you beat Rob Van Dam tonight … you get your Handicap Match with me…
~ Boos, and a huge shit-eating grin from Mr. Money in the Bank.
Mick Foley: …but when Mr. Monday Night beats you here tonight … it’s gonna be you putting that Money in the Bank contract on the line against an opponent … of my choosing. Now what’re say to that?
~ The crowd cheers, excitedly, as the smile disappears from Carlito’s cocky face, and he begins to look around nervously. Masters and Torrie try to counsel him, but ‘Lito quickly shoves Ms. Wilson away, not caring much for her input, and conferring with The Masterpiece instead.
Mick Foley: What’s wrong, you don’t seem so confident in now, huh?
~ Carlito whirls around angrily.
Carlito: You wanna’ deal?
Mick Foley: Do we have a deal?
Carlito: (Nervously stammering)Two-on-One versus… HANDICAP MATCH! US VERSUS YOU! It’s on, baby! Carlito’s gonna kick your butt!!
Mick Foley: (Smiling)There ya go.
*Back to ringside*
~ The video ends, with the crowd laughing and cheering, as we see the look of complete and utter dismay on Carlito’s face. A smiling Foley slowly turns around, and Carly immediately begins laughing.
Carlito: (Laughing nervously) You- You don’t- You don’t think- ‘Dat was a JOKE! Carlito was- Carlito was just kiddin’ around, Mick!
~ The crowd boos, as Foley cocks his head to one side.
Mick Foley: Really? Well, that’s… uh… great. The only problem with that … (Serious face) I wasn’t.
~ BIG pop, as Carlito’s face becomes ashen.
Mick Foley: And out of the two of us … (Points to himself) I’m the only one with the power to book matches.
~ Crowd cheers.
Carlito: But Commissioner Funk--
Mick Foley: You can cry to Terry Funk about this all you want. Do you really think he cares what happens to you, Carlito?
~ That soon shuts Mr. Money in the Bank up.
Mick Foley: After all … you came pretty close to putting him out of job at One Night Stand if I remember correctly. You were a pretty integral part of Eric Bischoff’s team, weren’t you, hotshot?
~ Carlito, the idiot, actually thinks Foley is paying him a compliment and smirks.
Mick Foley: Oh… oh I know you tried to make amends. I know you tried to kiss Terry’s butt to save your own skin … but…
~ Foley scratches his beard.
Mick Foley: …you have got to be the worse kiss-ass I’ve ever seen!
~ Another big pop, as Carly waves his hands angrily, “So what!? So what!?”
Mick Foley: Take it as a compliment if you want, I don’t care … but let’s see … you said you’d take the ECW World Title from Sabu … you didn’t. You failed to take out Sabu and Van Dam in an Extreme Rules tag team match. And my personal favourite … being the stupid idiot that you unquestionably are … you went and got yourself DISQUALIFIED when you were supposed to be knocking Van Dam out of the Gold Rush Tournament!
~ More laughs, as ‘Lito shakes his head.
Mick Foley: Yeah, great job sucking up to the boss, Carlito. (Thumbs up) Whaddya’ going to do next? Hit Stephanie McMahon with your car?
~ The crowd loves it, as Master points threateningly at Foley from the safety of Torrie.
Mick Foley: The way I see it … you’re just lucky you’re so insignificant that Terry Funk doesn’t deem you worthy of his time. Otherwise … you’d be saying “Hello” to Kenny Doane in the unemployed line at Wall-Mart.
~ OH!; poor Kenny
Mick Foley: So I think you know what I’m going to say next, don’t you, Carlito?
~ Carlito continues to look ahead dumbly, unable to believe his rotten luck.
Mick Foley: If you want your Money in the Bank briefcase back so much … (Points aggressively) how about you actually WRESTLE for it?
~ Crowd pops, as Carly shakes his head.
Carlito: Carlito shouldn’t have to wres--
Mick Foley: (Speaking over him) If you think you’re going to be the next WWE Champion … prove it.
~ ‘Lito sneers arrogantly.
Carlito: Carlito doesn’t have to prove anything to an--
Mick Foley: IF (Holding his finger in the air, cutting ‘Lito off) … you can beat Kane at SummerSlam…
~ Carlito’s eyes widen.
Mick Foley: …then I will personally return the briefcase to your waiting arms.
~ Boos, as the Puerto Rican superstar looks on, horrified.
Mick Foley: (Holds his finger up) But… but if you lose … (Smirks) well…
~ Continuing to shake his head vehemently, ‘Lito doesn’t seem too keen on this.
Mick Foley: …I think I’ll be doing you a favour giving that briefcase to someone else … because you’d only embarrass yourself when you cashed it in.
~ Big pop, as Carlito’s mouth opens wide.
Mick Foley: Normally this is the point where I’d ask what you think … (Shakes his head) but frankly … I don’t really care.
Mick Foley: All I’ll say is this…
~ Foley takes a step nearer, pointing his finger right in the youngster’s gobsmacked face.
Mick Foley: …give Kane my regards when you see him at SummerSlam … (Smirks) and try not to get burned.
~ HUGE pop, as ‘Lito looks like he’s just been given a death sentence, on the verge of tears, his eyes wider than soup bowls, as he stares back. Foley grins and turns away, preparing to leave the ring. Masters and Torrie immediately step in to comfort their teammate … but Foley suddenly stops, slapping his head and turning around again.
Mick Foley: Oh, and, Carlito?
~ ‘Lito looks up hopefully.
Mick Foley: … (Thumbs up) Have a nice day!!
~ The crowd EXPLODES, as ‘Wreck’ hits over the loudspeakers once more, and Foley does leave the ring this time, leaving the actual, real, genuine Money in the Bank unsteady on his feet, looking about ready to faint, as Masters tries to hold up the swooning Carlito, and Torrie fans away at him.
*Backstage - Interview Area*
The ECW World Heavyweight Sabu is standing by, pacing up and down angrily, his belt dangling from his hand, as Bill Alfonso bounces up and down in front of the camera, blasting away on that damn whistle.
Bill Alfonso: KURT ANGLE … you got LUCKY last week, baby, that’s all!! NOBODY gets one over on Sabu without it bein’ a FLUKE!! But it’s on now, daddy, which means there’s a rubber match comin’ down the line, and Sabu can’t WAIT to get his hands on you one more time!!
~ Sabu clenches his fists angrily, glaring into the camera.
Bill Alfonso: And, Randy Orton … so you beat that washed-up LOSER Justin Credible last week? So WHAT!? Sabu’s been beatin’ ‘im for YEARS now!! Justin Credible ain’t a REAL ECW World Champion, baby … but ‘chure gonna get one ta’night, daddy!!
~ Fonzie begins jumping up and down, before pointing off screen.
Bill Alfonso: Come… (Waving) come on in here.
~ Soon enough … Masato Tanaka enters, dressed to compete, exchanging hostile glares with Sabu, and giving the title belt the once over. Fonzie is oblivious though, as he bounces around, waving his hands in the air and blowing his whistle like the lunatic he is.
Bill Alfonso: You see this, Orton!? (Grabbing Tanaka’s shoulders) THIS is a REAL ECW World’s Heavyweight Champion! Masato Tanaka, baby!! Dangan!! The master of the Roarin’ Elbow, and he’s gonna knock you out, daddy!!
~ Tanaka poses, smacking his elbow towards the camera, before stepping back.
Bill Alfonso: But Sabu’s pretty disappointed, ain’t ‘cha, Sabu?
~ The ECW World Heavyweight Champion scowls, seething with rage.
Bill Alfonso: He’s pretty disappointed ‘cause he’s been wantin’ to get his hands on you for a while now, Orton! But that’s alright. You don’t DESERVE an ECW Title shot, baby, but you DO deserve to get your ass kicked courtesy of the HOMICIDAL, SUICIDAL, GENOCIDAL, DEATH-DEFYIN’ Sabu, daddy, so you better grow eyes in the back of your head, baby, ‘cause Sabu’s comin’ for you!!
~ The whistle blowin’ continues, as Sabu grabs his title belt and holds it up to the camera, breathing hard with fury, as Tanaka looks on, and we fade out.
*Backstage - Interview Area*
Dressed in his wrestling gear, with a green, close-fitting ‘Destiny- t-shirt over the top, Randy Orton is sat on a stool, messing with the tape on his wrists, being roundly booed by the fans, as he speaks.
Randy Orton: Y’know, I… I have to say I’m disappointed.
~ Orton shakes his head.
Randy Orton: Every- Everywhere I’ve been since I first broke into the wrestling business … all I’ve ever been told is… is how tough ECW is. How tough the ECW wrestlers are.
~ Small pop from the crowd, as TLK nods.
Randy Orton: Now don’t get me wrong … I’ve faced ECW guys in the past, those ones lucky enough to actually make it in the big time here in the WWE. Guys like RVD … guys like the Dudley’s … guys like Mick Foley. Those are… those are genuinely tough competitors … genuinely great wrestlers. They deserved their chance here in the major leagues.
~ He smirks arrogantly.
Randy Orton: But… but last week I was excited. I was excited because I was set to face my first ever former ECW World Heavyweight Champion. A title that has - (Nods) I’ll hold my hands up and admit it - has been held by some pretty great wrestlers in the past … like Tazz … like Mike Awesome … and, of course … (Smirks) like Terry Funk.
~ Big-time heat for RAW’s mentally nuclear Commissioner.
Randy Orton: So which of these great legacies did I find myself faced with last week?
~ Orton shakes his head, sitting back dejectedly.
Randy Orton: (Screws up his face) … … … Justin, Credible?
~ No reaction whatsoever, and Orton nods in agreement.
Randy Orton: “Who?”, I hear you ask. And believe me, I was asking the very same question.
~ Rubbing his chin, Randy ponders.
Randy Orton: Wasn’t he… wasn’t he the guy who used to hang around with X-Pac a few years ago?
~ Fuck me, they were awful.
Randy Orton: Well … it turns out he won the ECW World Title once.
~ Orton stares blankly into the camera, not amused in the slightest.
Randy Orton: That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about that piece of crap tin that Sabu’s carrying around with him right now. Because Justin Credible is a NOBODY! He’s NOTHING! And I finished him off… what? … in about ninety seconds? How many former WWE Champions would go down that easy?
~ After a few moments, TLK points towards us.
Randy Orton: None… that’s how many. Justin Credible told me all I need to know about ECW and its wrestlers. He told me that after tonight and next week … I will have secured a shot at the ECW World’s Heavyweight Title.
~ Crowd boos.
Randy Orton: And he told me that at SummerSlam … I will BEAT that piece of garbage Sabu … and do whatever the hell I want with his precious belt.
~ LOUD boos for The Legend Killer, who glances down, rubbing his waist and smirking.
Randy Orton: Maybe… maybe I’ll wear it like a proud champion…
~ But he turns, pointing the camera towards a rubbish bin (trashcan, Yanks) off screen.
Randy Orton: …Or maybe I’ll throw it in the trash where it belongs.
~ More heat for the arrogant youngster.
Randy Orton: Who knows? All I know is this … ECW’s never produced a single legend in its entire existence … (Smiles) but because I’m such a nice guy … I’m willing … to put it out of its misery.
~ The crowd continues to boos the crap out of Orton, as he smiles.
Randy Orton: And that’s not arrogance…
~ He sits back on his stool, leaning against the wall, looking rather blasé about the whole thing.
Randy Orton: …it’s smart.
~ With the boos of the crowd rumbling away in the background, we fade away from the smiling, cocky face of The Legend Killer.
2 - Trish Stratus vs. Ashley Massaro
*Women’s Champion Mickie James is on commentary*
Both competitors are obviously extremely distracted by the presence of the bizarre Women’s Champion at ringside, but Mickie barely speaks on commentary, instead acting almost as a cheerleader for her SummerSlam opponent, standing up and cheering, trying to get the crowd (As if they needed any encouragement) behind Trish. The six-time Women’s Champion tries to leave the ring to get at the champion, but the referee quickly interjects him and forces Trish and Ashley to go at it.
After a bit of good natured grappling between the former teacher and student, Trish gets the better of the youngster, taking her over with a Fireman’s Carry, sending Massaro quickly scurrying away. Mickie James is immediately up, applauding loudly, yelling, “Woo! Go Trish! Woo!”
This goes on for a while, with Trish easily getting the better of her pupil, until Ashley manages to reverse an Irish Whip into the corner. She charges, but Trish catches her in a headscissors, flinging her head-over-heels across the ring!!
The crowd cheers, and Ashley dazedly staggers back up to her feet and turns around … BAM! TRISH KICKS HER HEAD OFF WITH THE CHICK KICK!!!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s”, but the former Women’s Champion doesn’t look too pleased with herself, as she slowly drops down and hook Ashley’s limp leg. 1... 2... 3!!
Winner - Trish Stratus via pinfall at 1:48.
The crowd cheers, as Trish reluctantly has her hand raised by the official, before quickly snatching it away and leaning against the ropes, staring up the ramp with an angry expression on her beautiful face. Soon … the screams of the fans catch her attention … as … MICKIE JAMES SLIDES INTO THE RING BEHIND HER, TITLE BELT RAISED!!
Joey Styles: OH NO!!
Hearing the commotions, Trish whirls around … and Mickie … TURNS … AND NAILS ASHLEY BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE GOLD AS THE REFEREE WAS HELPING HER UP!!!
Jim Ross: HEY!!
“Oh’s” ring out, as Massaro goes down hard and Trish immediately charges, only for the Women’s Champion to smartly hop through the ropes and escape around the floor, before skipping back up the ramp gleefully.
Jim Ross: Of all the no-good… low… cheap--
Jonathan Coachman: I think “Brilliant” is the word you’re looking for, J.R.
Trish is torn between going after the deranged champion and checking on her protégé, bending down alongside the official, waving for some medical assistant from the back, whilst glaring daggers at the oh so lovely Mickie James, who stands on the stage, belt against her cheek, giggling like the brain-fucked bitch she is…
We see the Sun burning brightly in the sky on a clear Summer’s day, as the usual husky-voiced narrator speaks over the top.
Far below, people stop and stare up at it, shielding their eyes.
“Giver of life.”
Slow, eerie music plays, as we cut to black & white shots of Shawn Michaels staring at John Cena.
Jonathan Coachman: MICHAELS HAS LOST IT!!
Jim Ross: Something’s gone wrong in Shawn Michaels’ head!!
Michaels hitting Cena in the face with the camera at Backlash.
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Shots of Cena storming down to the ring at the start of Vengeance to call Michaels out and slamming him through the announce table at Saturday Night’s Main Event, as ‘I’m Shipping Up to Boston’ plays.
“But you should never look too close.”
Flashing shots of Cena and Michaels’ brawl the night after Vengeance, with Cena trying to strangle the veteran with Lillian Garcia’s belt.
Shawn Michaels: John, you broke my heart…
Michaels putting the Crossface on a helpless jobber and screaming into the camera.
Shawn Michaels: …So I’m gonna’ rip yours … out.
John Cena in the dark, amidst the glare of the sun.
Shawn Michaels in the dark, twirling, arms raised, staring up.
A bloody Cena roaring with intensity.
“You should never … ever…”
Michaels holding up Cena’s own dog tags.
“…look into the Sun.”
We cut to the pay-per-view graphic set across a blazing Sun background like something out of the film Sunshine.
“WWE SummerSlam, live, August 20th, only on pay-per-view.”
*Back to ringside*
When we come back, the podium area of the stage is all set up with a chalkboard, carpet and several desks and chairs, kind of reminiscent of the old Piper’s Pit set, with obvious differences. One notable difference is our host. Instead of the ultra-cool presence of ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper, we have the sweater-wearing, smirking figure of Matt Striker, who stands before the desk, clutching a microphone, ignoring the loud boos of the crowd. Also present, dressed in jeans and a shirt, sitting rather dejectedly at one of the desks, is Stevie Richards, who doesn’t look terribly impressed by this whole thing.
Matt Striker: Hello, students … it is I… your teacher … Matt Striker.
~ The crowd boos, as Striker smiles up at them hideously, clearly relishing this opportunity to be in front of a live audience.
Matt Striker: And as you can probably tell … (Motions to Stevie) your teacher has a very spec- well, a guest here in the Classroom.
~ Richards folds his arms in a disgruntled fashion.
Matt Striker:Please give a warm welcome to Mr. Steven Richards!
~ Nice pop from the crowd, as Striker applauds, and Stevie just frowns.
Matt Striker:But … unfortunately … not only is Mr. Steven Richards the very first guest to step into the Classroom … but he’s also the very first loser to ever join us for--
~ Stevie jumps up quickly, reacting angrily, and taking a step towards the teacher, who backpedals out of fear, almost falling out of his chair!
Matt Striker:Wait, wait, wait, wait just a second now!
~ Striker holds his hand up, keeping the fiery Richards at bay, backing him away, and regaining his composure.
Matt Striker:You’re not in ECW now, young man! This is my Classroom and you will learn to… (Looking around nervously) to behave yourself, is that… (Swallows) is that understood!?
~ Not looking impressed in the slightest, Stevie shakes his head and reluctantly returns to his seat, resting his chin in his hand in a bored manner.
Matt Striker:Here we go. Here we go. That’s better.
~ Striker smirks arrogantly at the fans, tapping his head knowingly.
Matt Striker:You see, Steven … I usually bring a box of tissues to the Classroom with me in case any of my students have a touch of the sniffles … (Reaches under the desk) but tonight I brought with me this roll of toilet paper…
~ He plonks the loo roll down on his desk, as Richards eyes it curiously.
Matt Striker:And do you know why?
~ Stevie carelessly shakes his head, mouthing, “Why?”
Matt Striker:It’s to represent where you come from … (Unrolls the paper) E, C, W.
~ Big-time heat, as Richards starts to get out of his chair again, pointing angrily at the teacher, who quickly retreats.
Matt Striker:Now don’t… (Waving his hand) don’t be like that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … the only reason you’re the failure you are right now is because of ECW. They’re nothing but a bad influence of you, Steven.
~ More boos ring out, as Stevie glares at the host, before slowly leaning into the mic.
Stevie Richards: I haven’t exactly seen you winning too many matches lately, Striker.
~ Another big pop, as Striker, offended, tries to snatch the mic away from his guest, only to find Stevie’s grip a little stronger than he had anticipated. Striker angrily shoves Richards away, nearly knocking the man out of his seat! Stevie jumps up quickly, ready for a fight, as Striker scurries away, hiding behind his burly security guards and pointing from behind them wildly!
Matt Striker: (Keeping them back) Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, whoa! No, no, no, let’s get…
Stevie Richards: (Grabbing his own mic) What are all these guys doing out here!?
~ Richards points threateningly at Striker, who creeps back to his desk.
Stevie Richards: You keep ‘em back.
Matt Striker:Wait, wait, wait. (Turning to the guards) Okay, security… security.
~ He ushers the burly, angry-looking men back.
Matt Striker: (Pushing them back) Step back for a second, I know how to deal with disrespectful, unruly students (Points) like Mr. Richards here.
~ The crowd boos, as Stevie just shakes his head.
Matt Striker: (Smiling) He’s just lashing out.
~ The guards retreat, as Striker returns to his desk, glancing warily at his guest.
Matt Striker:Okay, wait just a second. (Motions to the chair) Sit down, Steven. Sit down, young man.
~ But Richards doesn’t move an inch, choosing instead to stare a hole through the nervous teacher.
Matt Striker:Sit- Sit down, young man, sit down.
~ Stevie moves towards the seat, thinking about it.
Matt Striker:I don’t want to have to tell you again. (Stamps his foot) Sit, down.
~ Whoa!; the crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s” and boos at the audacity of the man, as Stevie stares at Striker with surprised eyes, and the schoolteacher swallows nervously, gesturing to the chair again. Reluctantly, Richards waves his host off and takes a seat, resulting in a huge, sickening smile on Striker’s oh so smug face.
Matt Striker:Don’t worry. Don’t worry, you don’t have to act tough to impress all of these… (Points around the arena) uneducated people. It’s not cool to be dumb. They’re not cool.
~ LOUD boos, as Striker adjusts his sweater and takes his own seat.
Matt Striker:To answer your question earlier … I am actually undefeated here on Monday Night RAW.
~ “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”
Matt Striker: (To the crowd) I’ve never lost a match have I!? (Back to Stevie) And that includes a rather comprehensive victory over you, does it not?
~ Richards looks down dejectedly.
Matt Striker:Your alliance with ECW is making you act a certain way, Steven … and that certain way … is the LOSER’S way.
~ More heat, as Stevie looks up angrily.
Matt Striker:Because in ECW they never taught you to use … (Taps his head) this.
~ Crowd boos.
Matt Striker:They never taught you to think, did they, Steven?
~ Shaking his head, Richards leans in, as Striker holds the mic up to him.
Stevie Richards: Well… y’know what I’m thinkin’ right now, Striker?
~ The teacher nods expectantly.
Stevie Richards: … I’m thinkin’ … I’m outta’ here.
Matt Striker:But I’m not…
~ But Stevie is done. Pushing his chair away from the desk, Richards slams his mic down, before storming off the set, leaving its flustered host standing and staring after him.
Matt Striker:You see, boys and girls, this… (Points, flustered) that is exactly what not listening to your teachers will get you.
~ Crowd boos.
Matt Striker:Steven Richards is a loser and a failure, and he’ll stay that way unless he listens to a properly educated man like myself…
~ Striker stops, as Stevie walks back into the set, pointing angrily and saying something to the schoolteacher, who backs up quickly.
Matt Striker:That- That’s right, I know you heard me, Steven. That’s the whole point, young man. I WANT you to hear me.
~ Richards shakes his head dismissively.
Matt Striker:Because I know you agree with me deep down. You’re just… it’s called peer pressure, Steven, (Points to the back) and those ECW nitwits you call friends are nothing but bullies!
~ More loud heat, as Stevie flails his hands at the host, grabs hold of the desk and TOSSES IT OVER ANGRILY, getting a big pop from the crowd as he storms off!
Matt Striker:Alright… alright… that’s it, class dismissed!
~ The teacher looks pretty flustered, as he tries to pick the desk back up, still speaking into the mic.
Matt Striker: An- And remember … my name- my name is Matt Striker…~ He throws the desk aside angrily, giving up and glaring after his wayward student.Matt Striker: … … … Your teacher.
~ Striker tosses his mic down and stands with his hands on his hips, looking angry at first … before he starts to nod his head slowly … and eventually … a huge shit-eating grin spreads across his face, as we fade out.
3 - Randy Orton’s ECW World Heavyweight Championship Series
Randy Orton vs. Masato Tanaka w/Bill Alfonso
*Orton must win to advance in the championship series*
A much sterner test for The Legend Killer this week, as he battles the man who conquered the most monstrous champion in company history, Mike Awesome, to become the ECW World's Heavyweight Champion in an impromptu match on the December 17th edition of ECW on TNN. And Tanaka, unlike several of the other former champions standing in Orton’s path, is still at the top of his game.
Despite being shorter than his opponent, Tanaka is a strong, strong man, and tosses Randy across the ring with total ease following each of their lock ups, running through the third generation superstar with a powerful shoulder tackle. Eyes wide, fearing for his life, TLK rolls out to the floor and goes for a walk, drawing the ire of this pro-ECW crowd.
As the boos ring out, Orton just strolls around the ringside area with his hands on his hips, using every second of the referee’s ten-count. Tanaka waits patiently in the ring, completely focused, as Fonzie gives him a few words of encouragement. The “Randy Sucks” chants begin, angering the 26-year-old prodigy, as he yells at the crowd to “Shut the hell up!”
Once he finally gets back in the ring, it’s still one-way traffic, with Tanaka completely dominating the youngest Worlds Champion in WWE history, overpowering him in the corner, laying into him with a series of shots, before sending him across the ring and running right through Orton with a strong clothesline! As soon as Orton goes down, Tanaka leaps up for a leg drop … but TLK rolls out of the way, causing Dangan to jar his tailbone against the canvas. With Tanaka stunned, Orton quickly grabs him around the head, DRILLING HIM WITH HIS INVERTED BACKBREAKER!!
Orton quickly dives into the cover. 1... 2... NO! Tanaka POWERS OUT, throwing Orton off and getting right back up to his feet, showing no ill effect following the usually painful manoeuvre, pointing threateningly at his terrified opponent!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s” at this incredible resilience, as Orton backs away to the corner, begging off in such a chicken-shit manner that his mentor Ric Flair would be proud - or he would, if Orton hadn’t assaulted him several weeks back (). Tanaka doesn’t let up though, continuing to dominate the out of sorts youngster all over the ring with a variety of hard-hitting blows and impressive power moves.
After a while of this, Tanaka clamps on the side headlock, wrapping his meaty arms around Orton’s equally meaty cranium, trying to wear the former member of Evolution down. Orton tries continuously to reverse the hold and get out, but Tanaka is just too strong and is always able to keep it in place, eventually taking TLK to his knees. With Orton fading, the referee has to raise his hand three times to see if he’s out, with Randy only just managing to keep it aloft at the third attempt. After a while, Orton is able to make it back up to his feet and reverse the hold, applying a headlock of his own on the Japanese powerhouse, but Tanaka gets right out of it with a hard shot to the gut, before lifting Orton up over his shoulder and Powerslamming him in the middle of the ring!!
With The Legend Killer down and in trouble, Tanaka ascends to the second buckle, sliding down his elbow pad, as he pumps his fist to the crowd. Orton staggers up and turns around … AS TANAKA DIVES OFF, GOING FOR THE FOREARM SMASH -- BUT ORTON DIVES OUT OF THE WAY - TANAKA CRASHES INTO THE CANVAS AND GOES ROLLING OUT OF THE RING!!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s”, as Tanaka lands in a heap on the floor at ringside, with Orton using the space to give himself some much needed rest. Fonzie tries to encourage his fellow ECW alumnus on the floor, blowing his whistle and yelling, “C’mon, ‘Sato! C’mon, daddy!”
Orton is out quickly though, running Alfonso off and doing some more damage to the former ECW Worlds Champion, driving his spine into the ring apron several times, before rolling him back inside. Now it’s the former World Heavyweight Champion’s turn to go after his opponent, working over Tanaka with his usual move set, Garvin Stomps, Chinlocks etc. There still seems to be plenty of fight left in Dangan though, as Orton lifts him and slams him back down with a Back Suplex.
As soon as Tanaka lands, Orton, an evil smirk slowly appearing on his handsome features, pulls the Japanese superstar’s left leg up and carefully … steps around it. The crowd begins to boo loudly, knowing what’s coming next, as Orton … FALLS BACK - APPLYING RIC FLAIR’S PATENTED FIGURE-FOUR LEG LOCK!!!
A shit-load of heat descends on the arrogant youngster, as if he hadn’t done enough to The Nature Boy already, without this continual mockery. Tanaka writhes in pain from the excruciating submission, with the official right in his face to see if he wants to give it up. With the referee looking the other way … Orton’s hands creep up backwards over his head, grabbing hold of the ropes for some extra illegal leverage!! The crowd boos, and Fonzie yells at the official, but every time he turns around … Orton isn’t holding the ropes anymore. This goes for a while, until the official finally catches TLK in the act and forces him to break the hold.
Orton stays on the leg though, before sending Tanaka off into the ropes and catching him in a SLEEPER HOLD on the way back!
With a bad wheel, Tanaka has trouble powering out of this manoeuvre, as Orton tries to wear him down even more. But Tanaka eventually manages to power out, lifting Orton up on his back, still with the Sleeper locked in, before driving him back into the corner.
This gives Tanaka the bit of respite he was looking for, as Orton clutches his back in pain. But The Legend Killer is still out the quicker, laying into Tanaka against the ropes, dropping him to a knee, before turning and scrambling up the nearby turnbuckle tp the top rope. It’s not clear what the youngster is going for, as he steadies himself up top … only for Tanaka to cut him off with a right hand. The crowd cheers, as Orton is caught in a rather uncompromising position in no man’s land, as Tanaka goes up after him. Applying the front facelock, Tanaka steps up even higher, before BRINGING ORTON CRASHING OVERHEAD OFF THE TOP WITH A THUNDEROUS SUPERPLEX!!
The crowd cheers, as Orton sits up from the impact, his face a picture of agony, before flopping back down. Tanaka is up quickly as well, going back to work on the pompous, preening young man in his aggressive manner, scoring another near fall. Pulling Orton up, Tanaka sends him off into the ropes, catching him, and DUMPING HIM OVER WITH A POWERSLAM!!
There’s not even a cover from the Japanese superstar, as he pops right back up, throwing his arms in the air in his ‘Dangan’ taunt, before patting his elbow, getting a nice response from the East Rutherford crowd. Pulling Orton up, he backs him into the middle of the ring, slugging him in the ribs with several hard shots. The Legend Killer looks dazed, out on his feet, as Tanaka turns and hits the ropes, running back and spinning, GOING FOR THE ROARING ELBOW -- BUT ORTON MOVES - AND TANAKA CREAMS THE REFEREE, KNOCKING HIM THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR!!!
Big-time “ooh’s” and “ah’s” fill the arena, as referee Jack Doane takes an awkward looking spill to the floor. Tanaka looks through the ropes at what he just did … not noticing the predator creeping up behind him on his haunches … poised to strike at any moment. Reaching out, Orton spins Tanaka around … AND GOES FOR THE RKO -- BUT TANAKA HURLS HIM AWAY ACROSS THE RING!!! Orton lands on his spine, staggering back up in pain … AND TANAKA FLATTENS HIM WITH THE ROARING ELBOW!!!
The crowd goes absolutely NUTS, as Orton’s head spins around like a football, his eyes rolling up into his head, as he collapses down to the mat, with Tanaka diving on top for the cover. Down comes ECW official John Finnegan at full pelt, waddling down the ramp and sliding into the ring to make the count.
Winner - Masato Tanaka via pinfall at 11:53.
Jonathan Coachman: NO!!
The crowd EXPLODES, as Randy Orton has FAILED in his ECW World Championship series at just the second stage!!!
Joey Styles: TANAKA BEATS ORTON!! Randy Orton will NOT be getting an ECW World Title shot any time soon!!
Fonzie is in the ring quickly, jumping up and down excitedly, blowing his whistle like a mad man and pointing at Tanaka, singing his praises, before getting right in the unconscious Orton’s face, talking some serious trash to The Legend Killer, “You ain’t nothin’, daddy!”
Jim Ross: Orton falls at only the second fence!! I- I mean- I’m SHOCKED!
Joey Styles: You shouldn’t be, J.R. Masato Tanaka is as tough as they come.
John Finnegan raises Tanaka’s hand in the air to another big pop, as an extremely groggy Jack Doane rolls back inside, clutching the side of his face. Seeing what’s going on, the veteran WWE official walks over to Finnegan and Tanaka, grabs the Japanese superstar’s arm … and … PULLS IT DOWN!
Jim Ross: Hey!!
Joey Styles: What’s this now!?
A great deal of confusion comes over the arena, as Doane limps over to where Orton is lying, crouches down … AND RAISES ORTON’S HAND INSTEAD, pointing to TLK and then to the timekeeper, saying, “Orton’s the winner. I’m disqualifying Tanaka for hitting me on purpose.”
Jonathan Coachman: YES!! YES!!
Jim Ross: AW GIVE ME A BREAK!!
Joey Styles: This is- This is- What a JOKE!
The crowd boos the crap out of this result, as Tanaka stands with his hands on his hips, shaking his head in disbelief at the stupidity of this official. Fonzie is outraged as well, blowing his whistle furiously and pointing at the retreating Jack Doane, who is on the outside being tended to by EMT’s, “You one stupid sunnuva bitch, daddy-o!”
Joey Styles: I don’t know what Doane’s disqualified Tanaka for--
Jonathan Coachman: HE HIT HIM!!
Joey Styles: You think that was on purpose!? Orton’s the luckiest man on the face of the Earth right now!
Orton is on the outside of the ring too, having rolled to the floor in a heap and dragged himself over to the guardrail, against which he sits, still with a glazed look on his face, but also now … a huge shit-eating smirk. With the camera in his face, Orton arrogantly holds up two fingers, saying into the lens, “Two down, Sabu. One to go.”
*Backstage - Interview Area*
Shirtless, but dressed in jeans, big ol’ buckle belts, cowboy boot and cowboy hats, who else but The Redneck Wrecking Crew of Lance Cade and that tobacco chewin’ lunatic Trevor Murdoch are standing by, receiving a ton of heat from the crowd, as Murdoch waves around the ring bell from last week and Cade, the smoothie, sneers arrogantly.
Lance Cade: (Counting off his fingers) Crockett ‘n’ Tubbs. Batman ‘n’ Robin. Armstrong ‘n’ Aldrin. All great partnerships. You don’t get to achieve nothin’ in this world if you can’t learn to work together.
~ Murdoch continues to mess about with the bell.
Lance Cade: World’s Greatest Tag Team … you boys might be great wrestlers … but the cracks are startin’ to appear. We saw ya’ll yellin’ ‘n’ hollerin’ at each other earlier on … and you know what it got us thinkin’? It got us thinkin’ that those belts you holdin’ right now … are gonna be easy pickin’ once we get to Charlottesville on the 14th.
~ Boos from the crowd.
Lance Cade: You might be great wrestlers … but with that comes great egos … and everybody gotta’ little sneak preview of that earlier on tonight. (Grabs Murdoch) You ain’t ever gonna’ see Cade ‘n’ Murdoch buttin’ heads like that.
Trevor Murdoch: No, sir!!
Lance Cade: And if you can’t trust each other … how’re you boys plannin’ on beatin’ us? (Holds up two fingers) You done got lucky twice already … but you know what they say … (Smirks) “third time’s the charm.” We came (Holds up his fingers) this close to takin’ them belts after Backlash … and we was even closer the night after Vengeance. But while you bin’ fillin’ your heads with the… with the Dubya’ Dubya’ E title or whatever… all we bin’ doin’ in whoopin’ ass each and every week … to get us ready … (Holds up three fingers) for round three.
~ More heat, as Cade smirks, turning to his hyperactive partner.
Lance Cade: Hey, Murdoch … how do you think the so-called (Air quotes) ‘World’s Greatest Tag Team’ … are ‘xpectin’ to beat the REAL best in the world … with one leg … and one arm ‘tween ‘em?
Trevor Murdoch: Y’know what, Cade, (Holds up the ring bell) you see this ring bell right here? I tell you it felt so good last week when we beat it against Kurt Angle’s face and left ‘im… (Points down) lyin’ down there and his back … bleedin’ ‘n’ cryin’ like a little baby. And then when we did the same to Shelton Benjamin’s leg. I ain’t never givin’ this back. I’m keepin’ this as a souvenir.
~ Murdoch tucks the bell under his arm.
Trevor Murdoch: But it’s like you said … they beat us twice before by the skin o’ their hides … (Points) but now they gonna be lookin’ over their shoulders at each other the whole time. And there ain’t no easier ride in all o’ Texas … then a bull that ain’t lookin’ at you.
~ Big Lance nods, smirking arrogantly.
Trevor Murdoch: We gonna lasso them boys like a couple o’ bulls … and we gonna ride ‘em into the ground … and walk away with the World Tag Team Title jus’ like we bin’ sayin’ we gonna do all year!! But this time … (Points angrily at the screen) we mean it.
~ Crowd boos.
Trevor Murdoch: I ain’t even gonna say “Tick Tock” this time, fellas … ‘cause your clock’s done tickin’, boys. It’s over.
~ Cade starts chuckling menacingly, whilst Murdoch waves the ring bell around, the crowd boos, and we slowly fade away.
*Back to ringside*
We are up on the stage once again, this time with ‘Good Ol’ J.R.’ Jim Ross, who is standing by with a microphone in hand.
Jim Ross: Alright, thank you, guys. Right now I’m being joined… (Turning) being joined as you can see by Paul Bearer and the WWE Champion The Big Show.
~ The crowd continues to boo loudly, as the WWE Champion The Big Show, with the belt dangling around his neck, approaches the camera, flexing and holding up his massive fists, while his ghoulish manager Paul Bearer, clutching and stroking his burlap sack, waddles up alongside the bemused announcer.
Jim Ross: Now… now, gentlemen, I know… I know you have to be two very interested observers for our upcoming main event, given your ongoing… uh… ‘issues’, if you will, with Kane … and, of course … your scheduled meeting with Rob Van Dam on August 20th at SummerSlam for your WWE Title. I’m interested in hearin’ who exactly you’re rootin’ for tonight?
~ Big Show walks back over the the mic, with J.R. holding it up the scowling giant.
The Big Show: “Rooting for”? What makes you think I’m rooting for anyone, J.R.?
Jim Ross: I just thought given your history with both men--
The Big Show: (Interrupting) That’s what normal men do, J.R.
~ Peeking out from behind his giant, Bearer nods.
The Big Show: Normal men would be rootin’ perhaps for Van Dam to pick up the win … and get Kane out of my business for good.
~ Boos from the crowd, as Show shakes his head.
The Big Show: Or normal men would be rootin’ for Kane to come out on top … and do some serious damage to my next challenger before SummerSlam.
~ More heat, with Bearer gurning away in the background.
The Big Show: That’s what a normal man would do.
~ Show glares down at Ross.
The Big Show: But y’see … I am NOT a normal man.
~ Big-time heat, as Bearer moans, “Oh yes.”
The Big Show: In fact … I’m not like any kind of man walkin’ the face of the earth.
~ Bearer is getting all hot under the collar now.
The Big Show: How many men do you know that are seven-feet tall like me? How many men do you know who weight over five HUNDRED pounds? And how many men do you know … (Holds up his massive fist) with a right hand like this?
~ More boos ring out, as J.R. swallows nervously, as the WWE Champion reels his enormous hand back in.
The Big Show: No, y’see, J.R., I don’t need to root for either of ‘em tonight … ‘cause neither of them are on my level.
~ With the boos ringing out, Big Show turns and walks away, pointing threateningly at the hostile fans, as the beaming, hideous, disgusting Paul Bearer sidles up to J.R. and the mic, a gleeful expression on his jowly face.
Paul Bearer: Oooohhhh yeeesss!!
~ The crowd gives heat, as the ghoulish manager sneers.
Paul Bearer: J.R., if ‘a may … I’d like ta’ add a little somethin’ extra ta’ what ma’ giant jus’ said.
~ J.R. nods, gesturing for the manager to go ahead.
Paul Bearer: Y’see … he ain’t a normal man. (Shrieking) HE AIN’T EVEN A MAN!!
~ THUNDEROUS boos, as Show holds his arms out, soaking it up.
Paul Bearer: Oh yes… that’s right. He’s not a man. He’s a MONSTER. (Strokes him) He’s ma’ monster. (Bows down) He’s a GOD. And Gods don’t concern themselves with the affairs of mere mortals, J.R.
~ Big Show shakes his head slowly.
Paul Bearer: When Kane and Van Dam are in that ring later … ta’ ma’ giant it’s gonna look like two… (Gestures with his hands) like a couple of ants fightin’ over a grain o’ sand.
~ More heat, as the giant even gives a little chuckle.
Paul Bearer: But you’re right, Jim … ma’ giant does have a date with Mr. Van Dam comin’ up at SummerSlam … an’ it’s a date we’re lookin’ forward to. (Smiles at Show, nodding) In fact we were hopin’ ‘n’ prayin’ all along that he won the Gold Rush Tournament.
~ The WWE Champion nods in agreement.
Paul Bearer: ‘Cause… (Grabs his giant) look, look at this!
~ Pulling his giant over, Bearer gets him to hold his big, meaty fist up to the camera once more.
Paul Bearer: You see that? (Holding Show’s fist to the camera) Looooooooook! That’s where ma’ giant crushed your face last time, Van Dam! That’s where your stinkin’ career was supposed ta’ end! But what ma’ giant tells me… (Turns to Show, giggling) ain’t this right? What ma’ giant tells me … is that it felt so … his hand’s ‘bin itchin’ ‘n’ throbbin’ ever since …just for another feel of Mr. Monday Night’s chin.
~ Crowd boos.
Paul Bearer: Gotcha’ ‘self a glass jaw there, Van Dam … (Hugs his monster) and this- this BEHEMOTH … is plannin’ on breakin’ it into a THOUSAND pieces!! Oooohhhh yeeesss!! (Throws his head back, cackling) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!
~ The crowd continues to boos, as the maniacally cackling manager waddles away, still muttering to himself and singing his giant’s praises, with ‘Crank It Up’ hitting once more, and the terrifying, unstoppable WWE Champion posing on the stage.
THE SUMMERSLAM PRESS CONFERENCE
…LIVE ON WWE.COM THE NIGHT BEFORE SUMMERSLAM, 19th AUGUST…
*Back to ringside*
4 - Semi- Main Event
Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso vs. Kane
We get an intense stare down between the two men to start the match, with J.R. commenting that Big Show and Paul Bearer must be loving this, seeing perhaps their two biggest enemies fighting it out. There’s a bit of trash-talking, with Kane sporting that sadistic smile of his, as the “RVD” chants fill the arena, letting the Big Red Machine know exactly whose side the crowd is on. The monster glares out the arena, before Van Dam gets his attention once again by stepping right up to him and performing his signature thumb taunt right in his face, as the crowd chants alone, “Rob - Van - D—“ BAM! KANE DRILLS HIM WITH AN UPPERCUT OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s” and boos, as Kane doesn’t hang around, going after his opponent … who comes back swinging, angrily hammering away at the monster with everything he’s got, punches and kicks, staggering the near seven-footer, before turning and hitting the ropes … BUT KANE KICKS HIS HEAD OFF WITH A BIG BOOT TO THE MUSH!!
More “Oh’s” ring out, as Van Dam is kicked halfway across the ring, rolling under the bottom rope to the apron. Kane tries to pull him up … but Van Dam drabs him, quickly snapping him across the top rope throat-first!!
As Kane staggers, Van Dam scurries up top, FLIPPING OFF WITH A SOMERSAULT SENTON - NAILING THE BIG RED MONSTER!! He covers him quickly. 1... 2... NO!
Kane tosses RVD away with ease, but Mr. Monday Night doesn’t let up, getting right back on his monstrous opponent, hammering away, before applying the front facelock. This doesn’t really go according to plan, as Kane LIFTS VAN DAM UP INTO THE AIR - DROPPING HIM ACROSS THE TOP ROPE ABDOMEN-FIRST!!
More “ooh’s” and “ah’s” ring out, as Van Dam writhes around in discomfort on the apron, before flopping down to the floor, as we head to a commercial…
Back from the break, and things aren’t looking too good for The Whole F’N Show. Kane is completely on top, dominating the newly crowned Number One Contender to the WWE Championship. The crowd is firmly behind RVD though, forcing The Big Red Machine into the role of the heel in this contest, a role he slips into rather comfortably given his offence. Power moves, illegal chokes, the former Worlds Champion is in his element, venting his frustrations of the past few months on the man he sees as having stolen his shot at The Big Show.
But Van Dam won’t quite, and after while, he starts to fight back, stunning the monster with a series of right hands, before turning and hitting the ropes … BUT GETS FLATTENED BY A THUNDEROUS CLOTHESLINE!!
“Ooh’s” and “ah’s” echo around the East Rutherford arena, as the sneering Kane falls into the cover. 1... 2... NO! But the monster is firmly in control, full of confidence, as he drags Mr. Monday Night up, shoving him and slapping him disrespectfully, screaming into the man’s face, “I SHOULD BE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER! I WANT THE BIG SHOW, NOT YOU!”
But Van Dam fires back, teeing off on Kane with more rights, before drilling him with a big spinning side kick to the face, knocking the big man staggering into the ropes. After regaining his sense, RVD charges … GOOZLE!!
More “ooh’s” and “ah’s” go up, as Kane grabs his man by the throat, glaring psychotically into his face as he brings him away from the ropes. Before the monster can lift him up though … Van Dam breaks the hold, kicking away, before going for another, which Kane catches … only for Rob to step over, drilling him with the enziguiri!! Kane staggers backwards, but doesn’t go down, forcing the oh so quick Van Dam over to the corner, where he springs up to the top, before LEAPING OFF - DRILLING KANE IN THE FACE WITH A FLYING THRUST KICK - WHICH FINALLY PUTS THE MONSTER DOWN!!
As the crowd cheers, Van Dam sees his opportunity, turning and coming off the ropes, rolling and leaping up, DRILLING KANE WITH ROLLING THUNDER!!
Now it’s Kane who’s in trouble, as the hurting Van Dam manages to get on top and cover him. 1... 2... NO!
Groans let the referee know how much the crowd wanted that to be three, but Van Dam stays on his man, peppering Kane with more shots, trying to keep him down, before turning and coming off the ropes again … BUT KANE CUTS HIM IN HALF WITH A HELLACIOUS SPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE, COVERING HIM!! 1... 2... NO!
Van Dam was damn-near broken in half there, as Kane decides enough is enough and heads over to the corner. Stepping through the ropes, the near seven-footer climbs to the top rope, perching on the top turnbuckle with all the agility of a Cruiserweight. Van Dam manages to pull himself up and turn around … AS KANE COMES FLYING OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH HIS CLOTHESLINE -- BUT VAN DAM DIVES OUT OF THE WAY - AND KANE LANDS AWKWARDLY, ROLLING ACROSS THE RING INTO THE FAR CORNER!!
Kane looks in some discomfort, as he pulls himself up in the corner, and VAN DAM CHARGES - GOING FOR THE SPINNING HEEL KICK -- BUT KANE CATCHES HIM - HE MUSCLES VAN DAM UP ONTO HIS SHOULDER, CARRYING HIM OUT OF THE CORNER -- BUT VAN DAM SLIDES OFF - ONLY FOR KANE TO TURN AND CRUSH HIM IN THE CORNER WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!
Van Dam looks stunned, as Kane grabs him by the arm, pulling him out, before HURLING HIM BACK INTO THE CORNER - WHERE REFEREE MIKE CHIODA IS - AND VAN DAM ONLY JUST PUTS ON THE BRAKES IN TIME TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM CRUSHING THE OFFICIAL!!
The crowd “ooh’s”, as Van Dam and Chioda lock eyes momentarily … before the crowd screams and Chioda’s eyes light up … AS KANE CHARGES -- VAN DAM MOVES OUT OF THE WAY - AND KANE ANNIHILATES THE POOR OFFICIAL IN THE CORNER!!!
Thunderous “Oh’s” ring out, as Chioda crumples to the mat in a heap, whilst Kane … laughs. The Big Red Machine doesn’t seem too concerned by his mistake, as he backs out of the corner and turns around … AS RVD COMES OFF THE ROPES -- BUT KANE GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT!!
Van Dam thrashes and fights, but it’s no good, as the monster LIFTS HIM INTO THE AIR FOR THE CHOKESLAM -- BUT VAN DAM COUNTERS IN MID-AIR - DRILLING KANE WITH A DDT!!!
“Oh’s” and cheers fill the arena, as Kane is dropped on his head and goes down, with Fonzie blowing his whistle excitedly, yelling for his man to get up. Seeing his chance, Van Dam breathlessly scrambles over to the corner, pulling himself up to the top rope, looking from the buzzing fans to the prone Big Red Monster, getting ready to fly -- WAIT A SECOND - CARLITO JUMPS ONTO THE APRON - AND SPITS APPLE IN VAN DAM’S FACE - CAUSING MR. MONDAY NIGHT TO BLINDY TUMBLE TO THE MAT BELOW!!!
THUNDEROUS boos fill the building, as Van Dam lands awkwardly, clutching his face and writhing around. ‘Lito, shirtless and wearing his white linen pants and sandals, quickly enters the ring and stomps away on the fallen Number One Contender, talking his usual trash and antagonizing the fans. The Puerto Rican superstar even puts a few boots to the fallen Kane, yelling at the monster, "Carlito’s Mr. Money in ‘da Bank! Not you!” Pointing out of the ring at where the briefcase sits next to the timekeeper, ‘Lito says, “And Carlito’s takin’ it back.”
Rolling out of the ring, Carly yells at Lillian and co. to “Get ‘da hell out of ‘de way!” They do quickly, and the youngster grabs his precious briefcase, holding it close with his eyes closed, kissing it and hugging it like a baby, “I know, I know. Carlito’s sorry. Carlito’s never gonna let anyone put ‘dere hands on you again.” The crowd boos the goofy antics of the moron, as ‘Lito saunters around the ring. Van Dam tries to reach out at him … but Carlito SMACKS HIM IN THE RIBS WITH THE BRIEFCASE, KNOCKING HIM BACK DOWN!!
As the crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s” and boos, ‘Lito waves his hands dismissively at the men in the ring, before backing away towards the ramp, his briefcase dangling from his hand and a cocky smirk on his face … so wrapped up in his own little world that he doesn’t even hear the cheers of the crowd … AS HE’S SUDDENLY GRABBED BY THE ARM AND SPUN AROUND -- WHACK! SABU LAUNCHES A CHAIR RIGHT INTO HIS FACE!!!
Booming “Oh’s” fill the arena, as Van Dam’s buddy, the unpredictable ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Sabu, lays Mr. Money in the Bank out cold on the floor, sending Fonzie into a rejuvenated flurry of whistle blowing. The crowd soon starts to buzz though … as KANE SITS UP!!!
A furious expression on his face, The Big Red Monster hold his head and storms over to the ropes, yelling at Sabu, “What’re you doing!?” Sabu looks at the chair in his hands and tosses it over Kane’s head into the ring. The monster turns … as Van Dam tosses it to him … and Kane catches it -- VAN DAMINATOR TO KANE!!!
Another tremendous roar goes up, along with Fonzie’s shrill whistle, as the monster is knocked flat on his back, the chair going flying from the ring. With his massive opponent down, Van Dam quickly springs back up to the top rope, balancing like a bird of prey, before SOARING ACROSS THE RING - NAILING KANE WITH THE FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!!!
With the crowd going wild, Fonzie is busy reviving referee Mike Chioda, slapping him in the face and covering him with cold water, before rolling him back inside the ring, where Van Dam, after rolling around in pain for a few moments as usual, covers the monster. Chioda rolls over and makes the count. 1... 2... 3!!
Winner - Rob Van Dam via pin fall at 9:32.
A tremendous reaction greets the result, as Van Dam rolls off of Kane, still favouring his ribs, as Fonzie quickly slides into the ring to start the party.
Mike Chioda, still visibly shaken up by his bump in the corner, briefly raises the victor’s hand, before getting the hell out of there. Sabu joins his teammates in the ring, as Van Dam, smirking, quickly rolls out of the ring, steps over the unconscious Carlito, picks up the Money in the Bank briefcase and re-enters the ring. Taking the briefcase, he stands over Kane on the far side of the ring … and places the briefcase next to him, saying, “This is yours I think, big guy.”
Jonathan Coachman: WHAT!? NO, NO, THAT’S CARLITO’S!!
The crowd pops, as the ECW trio exit the ring, just as the monster is coming to. Kane glares at the three men outside the ring … but quickly grabs the briefcase, holding it to his chest … and nodding oh so slightly in the direction of the man who just returned it to him.
Joey Styles: Looks like Mr. Money in the Bank is going to have to actually WRESTLE if he wants his briefcase back, Coach.
Jonathan Coachman: This is- This is horrible…
His eyes drift past Van Dam though, heading up the ramp … and turning into an intense, psychotic scowl … as BIG SHOW stands on the stage, the WWE Title dangling from his hand. Paul Bearer is there too obviously, clutching his burlap sack under his arm and applauding Mr. Monday Night with his free hands.
Jim Ross: Those two have got a date at SummerSlam, that’s for sure. Van Dam was able to defeat one monster tonight … but can he do it again in Boston??
We go to another commercial with shots of an unconsciousness and still briefcase-less Mr. Money in the Bank lying flat on his back at ringside with Chris Masters now tending to him; Kane, holding the briefcase, pulling himself up to his feet in the ring and glaring up the ramp at his former partner; and the two men who will meet for the WWE Title at SummerSlam in less than one month, the number one contender Rob Van Dam at the foot of the ramp, gazing up, as he always seems to be doing, at the giant, unstoppable WWE Champion…
When we return, ‘The Masterpiece’ Chris Masters has his groggy buddy Carlito, and is staggering back up the ramp with him…
***MY TIME IS NOW***
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!
The crowd EXPLODES, and Masters’ eyes light up, as JOHN CENA storms out onto the stage, tearing his shirt and cap off, looking ready to compete!!
Jonathan Coachman: OH NO!!
Jim Ross: I guess it’s main event time, Coach!!
The former WWE Champion heads down the ramp quickly, causing The Masterpiece to back away in terror, dropping Carlito in the process, before turning and trying to run … BUT CENA IS ON HIM, GRABBING HIM FROM BEHIND, RUNNING, AND HURLING HIM INTO THE STEEL RING POST FACE-FIRST!!!
Jim Ross: OH!!
Jonathan Coachman: UNCALLED FOR!!
The crowd “ooh’s” and “ah’s”, as ‘Piece goes down hard clutching his precious face, and the fiery Cena, his fist clenched with intensity, drags the pretty boy back up to his feet and tosses him inside the ring, before following in, actually starting this belated main event.
6 - Main Event
John Cena vs. Chris Masters
Masters is out on his feet, swinging wildly at nothing, as Cena angrily advances on the man with his deadly right fist cocked. Backing The Masterpiece into the corner, the former WWE Champion begins to unload on the glorified bodybuilder with shot after shot, beating the holy hell out of the man!
‘Piece staggers out of the corner, Flair-flopping down to the mat face-first, getting huge cheers from the crowd. Cena isn’t done yet though, as he drags the big man up, leading him back into the corner and slamming him into the top turnbuckle head-first-
THE LIGHTS GO OUT
THE CROWD ROARS
STATIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND
*Cut to video*
We find ourselves looking - via what is obviously a handheld camera - through the windscreen of a car. It is night time. Various cars drive past. Up ahead is what appears to be some kind of bowling alley. The camera pulls back slightly, as a voice speaks…
???: Hey, are you sure he’s gonna be here?
~ The speaker is sat alongside the anonymous cameraman, but is not easy to distinguish at first. He is tall and broad with an extremely deep voice, but with a large, black hooded jumper and baseball cap on.
The camera moves away from the stranger to the individual sat in the front passenger seat. Jeans, plaid shirt, baseball cap and stubble. This in individual is much easier to identify. This is Shawn Michaels, looking angrily at his questioner.
Shawn Michaels: Yeah- Yeah, I’m sure. You think I’m just sittin’ here (Nods to the driver) ‘cause I like this guy’s taste in music? He’ll be here. He always comes ‘ere. Trust me.
???: And you’re sure you’re gonna recognise ‘im? You got the-
Shawn Michaels: (Glancing at something in his hand) I got the picture.
~ The camera floats back over to the bowling alley, where various people, mostly men, continue to walk in and out. Another voice speaks, this time the driver; an extremely large man, also bearded, also adorned in jumper and cap.
Driver: I mean… you don’t have to do this if you don’t want, man. We can drive away right now and forget all about-
Shawn Michaels: (Angrily) No! You keep your foot off that pedal, Kev, you hear me? I’m doin’ it. We didn’t drive all the way to Boston because I like your company. (Pointing) It’s not about us… it’s about sending a message.
KEV: I know. I know it is.
Shawn Michaels: (Softly) I hope so.
~ After a few moments, the door to the bowling alley opens again and a group of older men exit.
Kev: (Pointing) There- He’s there.
~ The group appear in good spirits, laughing and shaking hands, carrying their bags with them. Most of them turn left and head up the high street, but one of the men seems to say his goodbyes and goes in the other direction, walking down the road on his own.
Shawn Michaels: (Rubs his face) Showtime.
~ Michaels angrily kicks the door open and leaves the car, walking straight across the sidewalks and hurrying across the road towards the now lone figure.
???: He’s gonna do it.
Kev: Yeah, he is. He’s really gonna do it this time.
~ The older man stops as soon as he sees Shawn Michaels approaching him and drops his bag, flaring up aggressively, almost bracing for a fight. It’s impossible to hear what is being said, but the two men are obviously engaged in a heated argument, with Michaels actually holding his hands out in a strange display of innocence. But the elderly man continues to react with a great amount of hostility, getting closer and closer to Shawn’s person, clearly aggravating the legendary superstar, until… MICHAELS GRABS THE OLD MAN BY THE THROAT!
???: Oh my Go- No, no. no. no, cut it, cut it, cut!
*Back to ringside*
THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON…
…and John Cena is DIVING THROUGH THE ROPES AND CHARGING BACK UP THE RAMP LIKE AN ABSOLUTE MAD MAN!!
Jim Ross: THAT WAS- THAT WAS JOHN CENA’S FATHER!! SHAWN MICHAELS JUST PUT HIS HANDS ON JOHN CENA’S FATHER!!
The crowd is in a complete state of shock at what just occurred, and can only watch as Cena disappears through the curtain to the back, whilst a jubilant Masterpiece - and a newly conscious Carlito - giddily encourages the referee to continue his count, which quickly reaches ten.
Winner - Chris Masters via countout at 1:02.
The crowd doesn’t like it one bit, and who can blame ‘em? ‘Lito rolls into the ring to join in the celebrations with his buddy, but no one is paying any attention to the two halfwits.
Joey Styles: This is… This is… This is…
Jim Ross: This place is SHOCKED!
Various officials, including Commissioner Terry Funk and Lieutenant-Commissioner Tommy Dreamer are at ringside, engaged in a heated words, utterly baffled, allowing Carlito and Masters to continue their idiotic display, with The Masterpiece clambering up onto the announce table to celebrate, much to the annoyance of J.R.
Jim Ross: G- GOOD GOD!! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID SUNNUVA’ BITCH!!
Joey Styles: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SHAWN MICHAELS!?
END OF SHOW
Announced for Monday Night RAW in 2 weeks (8/14/06 - Last Chance Saloon)
World Tag Team Championship Match:
Shelton Benjamin & TBA vs. The Redneck Wrecking Crew
If Cade & Murdoch lose, they will not receive another title match as long as Benjamin is champ
Current Card for SummerSlam
August 20th, 2006
WWE Championship Match:
WWE Chmp. The Big Show w/Paul Bearer vs. Gold Rush Tournament Winner, 'Mr. Monday Night' Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso
World Heavyweight Championship Match:
'The Rated R Superstar' Edge vs. 'The Real Deal' Bobby Lashley w/Paul Heyman
John Cena vs. 'The Artist Formerly Known As The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels
Money in the Bank Contract on the Line:
Carlito w/The Cabana vs. ‘The Big Red Machine' Kane
Women’s Championship Match; Student vs. Teacher:
Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus
~ Show banner credit - WCW Rules
~ PPV poster credit - Jae Jae
~ Match banner credit - WCW Rules
Last edited by Legend : 02-21-2012 at 05:19 PM.
01-14-2012, 09:10 AM
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Six inches from a computer screen
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
Took you long enough. Before I start, I have to ask; which of these promos was giving you hassle?????
Anyway, while I thought the show could’ve been spread out a little better - the back to back promos to kick off the show being my main gripe, you’ve shown just why you’ve been missed so much around here in your absence. Given the way last weeks show ended, it would’ve been odd not to address it at the beginning of this show. I know these shows were written quite some time ago, but I think $250,000 is a bit over the top as a fine - even though the actions of Triple H WERE excessive last week, it just seems too much.
Regardless of that piece of nitpicking, the suspension - whilst making sense - caught me by surprise. With only a couple of weeks until Summerslam, I had that match (Angle vs. HHH) down as a lock for the card, but now … I don’t see it going down at that show, unless of course, Angle turns up next week and demands the suspension be lifted to he can take on The Game at Summerslam. Although of course, it doesn’t look like Trips will be taking the suspension lightly, and looks set to fight it all the way. With the in and out booking of Triple H since WM, showing up for a week or two here and there, it seems like he is certainly being phased out, and keeping him off the Summerslam card would be another indication that that is what the future holds for him in the thread.
Something that I really love about your writing is that you do the little things - which are important - and it brings a smile to my face every time. Classic example was the end of the Triple H promo, where he swung out at the security team and told them to get off him. It was something simple, but most - myself included - wouldn’t have thought of the subtle touch to add the swinging out at the guards, and would normally just use the dialogue. Like I said, it’s the little things.
Now, while I didn’t like the idea of back to back promos to open the show, I can see the reasoning behind it. It saves Styles from going back to ringside to call the action and then come back to the stage for one, and it also follows on from the incidents at the close of last weeks show. And yes, I loved this promo. You’ve just showed anyone in the BTB section that doesn’t ‘get it’ just how good the pay off can be for a slow burn angle. It’s rewarding for you - the writer - and it’s rewarding for the long term readers, who having followed the “friendly” rivalry between the two best friends and tag team partners, are now finally getting to see it become something MUCH MUCH more.
Haas was terrific throughout the segment, not finding the funny side to Benjamins explanation for Karen Angle taking the title belt last week, and then getting very ‘precious’ about being replaced by Benjamin last week, saying he wouldn’t want to team with anyone else if Shelton wasn’t around. It would appear that Shelton going and getting a stand in for Haas is the proverbial straw that broke the camels back for jealous Charlie, and with Haas right on the brink of turning heel, I think the dynamic at Summerslam will be MUCH different from the one we got at Backlash, and I cant wait to see it!!
Slowly but surely, you’re building up the credibility of Helms and Chavo as a team, and I’d imagine with the impending break up of TWGTT at Summerslam, they will slot in as the top face team on Raw, and could probably move straight into a feud with the seemingly ‘champions in waiting’ the RNWC. As for the Spirit Squad?? Without Kenny, I don’t think they’ll feature too prominently in the near future on Raw somehow.
Who could be bringing the fight to Raw?? Hmm… my guess would be Elijah Burke perhaps, given his previous boxing experience, but apart from that, I’m pretty much devoid of ideas as to who it is you are bringing in.
For months, I’ve been wary about how credible Carlito would be as a potential challenger - or even champion, once he cashes in the briefcase - as he either couldn’t buy a win over a big name, or couldn’t win matches cleanly. Whilst he’s consistently been one of the more entertaining aspects of the show, with Torrie and Masters by his side, he’s lacked the quality of a main eventer … but I think that’s all about to change. Foley just pointed out ALL those flaws in Carlito, addressed all his broken promises, all his boneheaded fuck ups, and questioned his ability, going as far to say that he’ll be doing him a favour by taking the briefcase from him if he cant win at Summerslam. Surely, Carlito beats Kane at Summerslam, and begins to show that he can beat the biggest names?? Surely, KANE isn’t going to be carrying the briefcase around after Summerslam???
Yeah, Mickie James continues to be a “brain-fucked bitch”. Nicely said, but I think there is still something to come from this feud before Summerslam; be it an in ring promo, or some kind of beat down on Trish … but with the fucked up mindset of the champion, ANYTHING could happen with Mickie James, lol.
Another rather odd segment, although fantastically (especially Striker) written. I’ve been unsure as to where this angle has been going for a while, with Strikers ‘classes’ focusing seemingly only on Orton and Richards. I simply cant figure out what Striker is up to; from kissing Ortons ass to calling out Richards for his losing streak and association with ECW. Where this is leading to?? I have no clue, although obviously with his championing of Orton and dislike for ECW, the Orton vs. ECW angle will meet with this at some stage. But it’s certainly intriguing me.
Orton LOSING to Tanaka completely took me by surprise. Tanaka, whilst not being prominently featured on Raw, has proven to be a match for anyone in his few appearances (going the distance with Angle) and although the decision was reversed, Tanaka pretty much picked up a clean win over Orton here, and that REALLY shocked me. Orton moves another step closer to an ECW title shot (and with only one guy left to face, I wonder how they‘ll find a bigger challenge next week), but Tanaka being equal to the top stars on Raw is the big thing I’ll take away from this match. I just wonder if you have something big in store for Tanaka, or whether you’re simply protecting him to make a win over him seem like a big deal whenever it does happen.
I love how you’ve completely reinvigorated Cade and Murdoch in this thread from the goons they were for the majority of their real life WWE run. This promo wasn’t a paint by numbers, standard heel thing. This perfectly captured both men’s individual characteristics and mannerisms. Smackdown may have the more exciting teams, but RNWC are my favourite team you’ve got going, and it’ll be a shame if they lose again in two weeks on Raw. I think it’s time they held the gold - they are certainly ready for it.
You’ve caught a lot of flak for the misuse of Big Show since he won the title, and while I think I’d like to see him destroy a few jobbers some night soon, this promo at with J.R was tremendous. Bearer was brilliant as ever, and the ‘ants fighting over a grain’ was a great line - especially since he referred to Kane as an ant, putting over just how monstrous Big Show is.
The match between Kane and Van Dam was a decent encounter too, and although both are face (Kane is kinda always stuck in tweener purgatory to me) Kane was definitely the aggressor, with his desperation at wanting a piece of Show. Had to laugh at the antics of Carlito, getting his briefcase back … then losing it again, but with Summerslam approaching fast, it was only right for Van Dam to win this one, even if he did need an assist to put Kane away. The little touch at the end with RVD placing the briefcase back beside Kane was funny too.
And the segue into the main event was nicely done too, with Cena attacking Masters right out of the commercial … but obviously this segment wasn’t about the match … it was about Shawn Michaels latest sick stunt. Two guys in the car with HBK … one called Kev … assuming it’s Nash and either Hall or Waltman. I don’t for a second think you’ll bring all these guys in as the Kliq, but (if I’m right about my hunch) it was a nice touch to use his friends on the segment.
What Cena thought he could do by running from the ring in New Jersey, while this incident was going down in Boston, I’ll never know
. But if this feud needed any further fuel to the fire - this was it. Cena already wanted to literally kill Michaels … for this feud to end conclusively, he might have to do it at Summerslam. The seriousness of the situation - with Funk and Dreamer both coming out looking concerned - helped sell the video, whilst I have no doubt Masters and Carlito will be crowing about Masters ‘victory’ over Cena.
Great hook the close the show on, as we now all want to see what will happen next week - and what actually happened after the video ended.
It’s been a while since I wrote any kind of feedback, and a lot of this was basically handing out endless praise, and not overly ‘feed backing’, but hopefully, if you decide to post on a regular basis
… and I’m not too lazy
… I’ll get back in the swing soon enough. Glad you’re back, you’ve been missed.
01-14-2012, 03:03 PM
Getting ignored by SCOTT STEINER
Join Date: Jan 2011
Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen
First off, thrilled to see this up and running again. Anyway…
Opening was the right call following on from that sickening end to last week’s show. Really pleased that you made it out to be such a huge thing as clearly it was. Suffocating a man at work isn’t usually just left at that lol. The whole reading out a statement from the McMahon’s was nicely done, again making it look a huge deal. 250k fine is a HUGE amount to pay, maybe a little unrealistic considering he got suspended. Security guards having to drag him away was smart as he’s never gonna walk away by his own accord. Regarding the suspension, I’m surprised by it and I can’t see it lasting long, if at all, expecting Trips next week and hopefully Angle/Hunter for Summerslam though I trust your judgment if that’s not the route you go.
I agree with Wolfy here in saying that back to back promos on the stage isn’t the best idea in the world although it does make sense if Styles is already up there I guess. I thought this was absolutely brilliant, blew the Trips beginning out of the water in my opinion. First off, having Haas still not with his belt is genius, really is and the way Charlie said it I can just imagine the emphasis on she and my. The way you used Charlie’s tone and his facial expressions throughout were great and the tension just continued to rise and we got something real nice out of it here. These two going at it verbally was nice and you can’t disagree with Haas but yet he still comes out of it looking like the bad guy which is great. The ‘Yeah, Shelton who’re you gonna replace me with this time?’ line was great from Haas after the title announcement. Intercontinental title match at Summerslam should well be a heated one, certainly gonna be a whole lot different from their last meeting that’s for sure. I don’t see Haas going full blown heel just yet but after Summerslam I fully expect it. Fantastic segment here and the two title matches to come out of it should be crackers.
Nice win for Helms and Chavo here in a surprisingly lengthy contest. These two are growing well, both inside as a team and in popularity on the outside I feel, expecting them to kick on soon enough. Good job.
Another very good segment here with Lito and Foley. Carlito never fails to entertain but he is still a little short in terms of really being a believable WWE Champion I feel, however this whole thing with Kane could and should take him up another gear. You write him very well and the way you use Masters and Torrie also is great, for example, Lito vowing to send Masters back there if Kane didn‘t come out lol. Foley coming out was a little surprise but then it all made sense. Foley showing that video was nicely done and the match now being on makes a whole lot of sense and now we can hopefully see a real progression for Lito in gaining his briefcase back.
Decent little passages with Orton and Alfonso, just hyping along the ECW stuff. I’m not keen on Sabu too much but Orton’s progression towards gaining the ECW title has been moving along nicely and I hope he caps it off come Summerslam.
Nice stuff from Mickie here. She really is one crazy lady. Not a whole lot more to add on that except more crazy Mickie = win.
The Striker segment was just…weird. It was really, really well written and you have Striker down to a tee but it just served no real purpose here tonight. Now I know there’s probably a lot more to come from this in the next few weeks but right now it didn’t really do a lot for me. I’m sure it’ll go somewhere, perhaps Striker turning Richards fortunes around as you move along though so I’ve no real complaints, just would’ve liked a bit more to it tonight.
Orton/Tanaka was impressive and I was absolutely stunned to see Tanaka get the victory although what followed was the right call. Orton’s cockiness at the end was great too with the little motion to Sabu through the camera. No doubts he goes to Summerslam now. On another note, hopefully there are plans for Tanaka to stick around after the ECW angle is done with after some good displays in his time in the thread, although I’m not so sure you will keep him.
RWC interview was gold, real gold. They are possibly my favourite thing going on Raw right now, it’s just such a transformation from the way they were used in real life and it’s refreshing to see. You write them perfectly, their accents and characters and inside the ring they’re two tough SOBs. I fully expect and hope you give them the belts when they meet WGTT as I think they’d be fantastic champions.
Love your Bearer promos, love them. You capture him about as well as anybody and he’s the real reason why I’m into Show so much. They compliment each other brilliantly and this little promo done the trick just right. Would like something big to go down before Summerslam though with Show and Van Dam. Although to be fair, you’ve done just about everything possibly disturbing with Show so it’d be interesting to see what you pulled off if anything.
Van Dam/Kane was a good contest but you done the right thing in giving Van Dam the win. He needs all the momentum heading into Summerslam to stand a real believable chance of beating the giant. The handing back of the briefcase brought a little chuckle I might add.
Nice little way of heading into the main event. Surprised we’ve not seen more of Cena tonight but I guess he’s only in the mood for business. The ending was certainly done very well and adds even more hatred to this whole rivalry. Must say, I liked the fact that, well I’m guessing it was Nash and one of the other Kliq members in the car, makes it more believable. As far as the attack goes, I personally would’ve liked to have seen a little bit more but I think you probably did the right thing, cutting it there, adds all the more intrigue. Cena’s reaction was I suppose natural but I would’ve had him just drop there and then in the ring, head in his hands, looking distraught as there’s nothing else he could do although the countout finish explains well the route you went.
On the whole, great to have you back. Thoroughly enjoyable show. The odd thing here and there I wasn’t so keen on but no doubts you’ll have something to follow those up with. Benjamin/Haas, the Redneck Wrecking Crew and the ending were highlights for me. Also very interested with the Trips and Angle ordeal now and where that goes. Keep ‘em rolling Legend.
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