Monday Night Raw; February 13th, 2006; Greensboro, North California
~ Opening Videos
As soon as the pyrotechnics die down, cutting the commentator’s off before either of them can speak…
***Time To Play The Game*** The crowd comes to its feet with a thunderous mixed reaction before it finally settles into a huge rumbling of heat, heralding the arrival of the ten-time World Champion, the ‘Cerebral Assassin’, ‘The Game’, Triple H. Dressed in a dark suit and shades, Hunter makes his slow entrance, a furious expression on his face, with the Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff walking a few paces behind.
Just take a look at the look on that man’s face, folks! Last week, Triple H went one-on-one with Kurt Angle for the WWE title, with Rob Van Dam as the Special Referee, and Helmsley lost, in his last chance. He blamed Van Dam and assaulted him after the match.
Woah, woah, woah, just hold on for a second there, J.R. Triple H didn’t lose last week. Triple H was SCREWED last week thanks to that biased referee RVD, and Triple H gave him exactly what he deserved.
Having gone through his usual ‘spray’ routine on the apron, Helmsley enters the ring with a menacing expression on his face, before calling for a microphone from the beautiful Lillian Garcia. Bischoff already has one, and waits across the ring, as Hunter fumes.
So now it’s Kurt Angle and John Cena at Wrestlemania huh? That’s what everyone’s been talking about this week, that’s what everyone’s been waiting to see? Is that what you all want?
A few jeers from the crowd.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT THIS IS MY SHOW??!!!
The crowd erupts in heat, as Helmsley rages.
When’re you people gonna get it through your heads that I don’t give a DAMN what any of you think? I don’t give a DAMN how many tickets you buy, or how many seats you fill, or how many GODDAMN songs you sing!!! The sooner you realise it the better, ‘cause all that matters on Monday Night Raw … the only opinion that means jack is … (Points to himself)
Another outpouring of boos.
What I say GOES!!! When I click my fingers, people ask “how high?” When I want a DAMN title shot, all I have to do is walk into that (Points backstage)
office, and TELL Eric Bischoff that that’s what’s gonna happen. It’s called being the best, and you should be used to it by now.
Triple H: (Reels off a list)
2000, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 … THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!!! They were MY years!!! You can all say … you can all think what you want; (Puts on whiny voice)
“Oh, Hunter you’re a glory hog. Hunter, you steal people’s limelight.” (Ends voice)
IT’S CALLED BEING THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!!
A small “Asshole” chant starts, as Hunter and Bischoff look on.
I got to where I am today ‘cause I EARNED it. My SWEAT, MY BLOOD, MY BODY!!! I worked everyday of my life to get here, so don’t you say I was handed it all on a silver plate!
I was the TEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION BECAUSE I WON IT … TEN … TIMES!!! I am the best in the business … THE BEST IN THW WORLD … and there’s no way that I’m gonna let some son of a bitch from ECW try to stand in my way!!!
A few “EC-Dub” chants amongst the boos.
Just who in the HELL is Rob Van Dam?!!! Would somebody please tell me who the hell he is? I don’t give a DAMN what he did in that bingo hall in New York City. That … doesn’t … mean … JACK!!!
What I wanna know is what the hell he’s ever done in this company, what the hell has he ever done in the WWE, in the business where it matter? Huh? What … has … he … DONE!!! Who is HE to get involved in MY match? Who is he to cost ME the WWE Championship? NOTHING!!! ROB VAN DAM IS NOBODY!!!
More heat, whilst Bischoff nods.
All you had to do, Rob, was the job you were given!!! All you had to do was get down on your hands and knees, watch me pin Kurt Angle’s sorry ass to the mat … AND COUNT, one, two, THREE!!!
Helmsley does all the gestures.
Why the hell couldn’t you just do that, Rob? Why the hell couldn’t you just do the right thing and GUARAN-DAMN-TEE that I walked out of that arena with the WWE title around my waist? That’s what this business needs, Rob, that’s what this business NEEDS!!! Triple H sitting on top of the mountain, where … I … BELONG!!!
Hunter glowers at the crowd.
What you’ve done, Rob … is you’ve ROBBED this place of me at the top of the hill … you’ve taken away from them what EVERYONE wants to see. You’ve taken away MY DREAM … MY PASSION … MY DRIVE … THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
The fans pour scorn on the fuming ‘Game’.
And, Rob (Looking directly into one of the ringside cameras)
… you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences. Eric?
Triple H looks to Bischoff, who steps forwards.
Last week I took one hell of a chance when I made Rob Van Dam the Special Guest Referee in the WWE Championship match. I was backed into a corner … I had NO OTHER options left … and I’ll admit … I made a mistake.
Boos, whilst Hunter nods.
You can all laugh … you all said it would never happen … but ME … I … ERIC BISCHOFF … was in his hour of need. I had NOT ONE SINGLE man willing to step into this (points below him) ring with Triple H and Kurt Angle, after what happened at the Royal Rumble. The match was out of options … Raw was out of options … ERIC BISCHOFF WAS OUT OF OPTIONS!!!
The crowd jeers Bischoff’s melodrama.
When you talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel … when you talk about the VERY … LAST … OPTION … you’re talking about Rob … Van … Dam … and that’s exactly what I was forced to do.
A few “RVD” chants, much to Hunter’s anger.
Rob Van Dam offered me a CHANCE … he offered me the opportunity to give all of YOU (Points around the arena) the kind of match that you were all dying to see. Rob Van Dam gave me his word … as a WWE superstar … as a professional wrestler … hell, RVD gave me his word as a MAN … that he would call the match right down the damn middle.
Yet time after time AFTER TIME I saw Rob Van Dam favouring Kurt Angle … I saw Rob Van Dam standing in the way of Triple H and his inevitable NINTH WORLD CH –
Triple H: (Angrily)
Eric Bischoff: (Nodding)
Rob Van Dam tried to stand in the way of Triple H’s INEVITABLE ELEVENTH WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN! When you’re a referee, you stay impartial. I don’t care how jealous of Hunter you are, Rob, all you should have done is YOUR JOB!
So now, Rob, we come to the consequences of last week. (Holds up a slip of paper)
You violated the referee’s contract … you violated OUR agreement … and as a result, you have left me NO CHOICE than to SUSPEND you indefinitely from Monday Night Raw!!!
HUGE boos from the crowd, whilst Triple H grins.
That’s why (Mocking voice)
“Mister Monday Night” won’t be gracing us with his presence tonight, and it will stay that way for as long as I WANT!
The crowd is booing loudly, as Hunter speaks again.
Y’see, Rob, this is what happens when you mess with the big boys on this show … this is what happens when you try and mix it up with ME!!! As long as I’m on this show, there’s no such thing as a DAMN glass ceiling, and you sure as hell won’t be breaking through it. So take your sorry ass career, and make like that mausoleum Bingo hall in New York City AND DIE!!!
Huge heat, but the “EC-Dub” chants begin.
“EC-Dub” “EC-Dub” “EC-Dub”
Triple H: (Furiously)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS!!!
“EC-Dub” “EC-Dub” “EC-Dub”
Chant it’s name all you want … chant HIS name all you want … ECW is gone … and so is ROB VAN DAM!!!
“EC-Dub” “EC-Dub” “EC-Dub”
“EC-Dub” “EC-Dub” “EC-Dub”
(Looking edgy) It doesn’t matter how many times you say it! You all better forget about the past and start to think about the HERE and NOW! You all better think about ME … get used to it!!! Rob Van Dam learned it the hard way … when you play the ‘Game’ … YOU LOSE … ‘CAUSE I TRULY AM … THAT … DAMN …
“EC-Dub” “EC-Dub” “EC-Dub”
Triple H scowls around the arena, a stunned gaze on his face.
It doesn’t matter how many DAMN times you chant that places name – IT’S DEAD! JUST LIKE ROB VAN DAM’S CAREER! His ass … IS … FIRE –
***No Chance In Hell*** A major mixed reaction from the fans, more of shock than anything at seeing the WWE Chairman Mr. McMahon marching out down the ramp, a furious expression on his face. Bischoff and Hunter look on anxiously, as Vince enters the ring and calls for a microphone, which is accordingly handed to him.
JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??!!
Bischoff glances at a glowering Triple H, before raising his mic.
Vince – Mister McMahon, we were just –
A huge pop from the crowd, as Bischoff looks slightly ill, and Helmsley looks ready to blow a gasket.
Don’t bother answering that question, Eric, because I think that it is pretty … DAMN … obvious what the hell is going on here. Quite frankly I am sick to death of you making a mockery of this industry, Eric; quite frankly I’m sick to death of you asking “How high?” whenever Hunter here says “Jump!”
Laughter from the crowd, whilst Hunter steams.
Last week, Hunter, you lost FAIR AND SQUARE to Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship … just like you did at the Royal Rumble (Triple H’s eyes bulge)
… so I don’t know what the HELL you are trying to prove by saying otherwise?
Triple H is murmuring something under his breath.
Oh, and by the way, Hunter, just so there is no misunderstanding again … that match you had last week with Kurt Angle … WAS YOUR LAST CHNACE AT THE WWE TITLE WHILST ANGLE IS CHAMP!!!
Another thunderous ovation, whilst Helmsley goes insane.
So all that’s left to do, gentlemen, is approach the subject of … Rob Van Dam.
It was YOUR call, Eric … YOU made him the Special Guest Referee … and YOU took that risk. So, I don’t wanna listen to you coming out here and whining about how Hunter was screwed … because as far as I’m concerned … ROB VAN DAM DID A DAMN GOOD JOB!!!
Another big pop, as Bischoff looks at Hunter balefully.
Unfortunately … thanks to the two of you, Rob Van Dam isn’t here tonight (Crowd boos)
but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to let YOU do the hiring and firing around here, Eric and Hunter. So allow me to inform you that Rob Van Dam is … STILL a member of the Monday Night Raw roster, he will be for the foreseeable future … and he WILL BE HERE NEXT WEEK!!!
And just in case either of you two tries to run this show without my knowledge again, you’re going to hear those two famous words…
The crowd cheers with excitement, as Bischoff and Helmsley swallow.
The crowd gives the Chairman of the Board a suitable ovation, as he grins at Triple H and Bischoff, and his music hits once more. Mr. McMahon exits the ring and struts back up the ramp, leaving a fuming Helmsley back in the ring, gesturing wildly at Bischoff, and seemingly saying, “This is on YOU!” Hunter storms from the ring to jeers from the fans, leaving a rather stunned looking General Manager standing in the ring.
Upon returning from the break, we head back to ringside.
Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, and what a bizarre way to kick off the show before the break. I never thought I’d be so pleased to see Mister McMahon.
Well, I’m always pleased to see our boss, J.R, but I – I have no idea what he was thinking of earlier. Rob Van Dam needs to be punished.
***Firestorm*** The crowd gives a decent amount of heat, as the arrogant youngster Gregory Helms struts down the ramp, clad in his trench coat, shades, and doo rag as always. He looks strangely excited tonight, as he begins to remove the padding from the turnbuckles.
***Child’s Play*** A nice pop from the fans, as the loveable Eugene trots out onto the stage, waving like a lunatic. He seems happy at first, but then notices the vicious looking Helms waiting in the ring and bites his nails.
You know, Mister McMahon might have taken a look at this blatant mistreatment here. Putting poor Eugene in a No DQ match against Gregory Helms. What the hell is Helms’ problem? He just can’t stand the fact that these fans cheer for Eugene so much.
This is a GREAT call from Eric Bischoff, J.R. Gregory Helms is finally going to get the chance to shut Eugene’s mouth for good.
Match #1; No Disqualification: Gregory Helms vs. Eugene
Quite a vicious opening match up for Raw tonight, with Gregory Helms looking to put an end to his rivalry with Eugene. Helms gets in most of the early offence, as he blindsides Bischoff’s nephew and begins to strangle him with the doo rag. Weakening Eugene’s neck, Helms nails a series of hard hitting neckbreakers, but makes no effort to go for a cover. The tide turns though, as Eugene reverses and Irish Whip and sends Helms crashing into the EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE! 1 … 2 … NO! Eugene drags Helms up and jabs him with some hard right hands, before kicking him in the gut and going for a STONE COLD STUNNER … but Helms shoves him into the ropes, and he flies back into a double leg lariat, causing Eugene to go tumbling through the ropes. Helms is out after Eugene very quickly, pounding away on the fan favourite, before going for an Irish Whip … but Eugene reverses it and sends Helms crashing into the timekeeper’s table! Eugene plays to the fans, before heading after Helms and grabbing him … STEEL CHAIR OFF THE SKULL! Eugene gets nailed by a sickening shot, and crumples, BUSTED OPEN by the blow. The crowd are booing Helms mercilessly, but the arrogant youngster drags Eugene up and nails the NIGHTMARE ON HELMS STREET on the concrete floor! It looks to be a matter of time now, as Helms slowly, slowly rolls Eugene back into the ring and makes an incredibly lazy cover. 1 … 2 … NO! Helms can’t believe Eugene got a shoulder up and he berates the referee wildly, turning his back on his opponent. Helms sees Eugene up to a knee and charges … INTO A ROCK BOTTOM! 1 … 2 … NO! Helms kicks out, a stunned expression on his face. Eugene drags Helms up and sends him into the ropes, before nailing a BIG BOOT. Eugene comes off the ropes looking for an IMMORTAL LEG DROP … but Helms gets a LOW BLOW! Helms quickly comes off the ropes and connects with a SHINING WIZARD! With Eugene’s head still down, Helms reaches back, hooks the arms before planting him with the VERTIBREAKER!!! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner: Gregory Helms @ 10:31
Helms stands up emphatically after an impressive victory. He looks down at the bloody Eugene with a smirk on his face, before forcing the referee to raise his hand in jubilation.
Sickening. Just what the hell is young Gregory Helms trying to prove?
Sickening? You mean great, J.R. There’s only one place Gregory Helms is going … and that’s all the way to the top.
We cut to backstage.
We head into a locker room, where the ‘Rated R Superstar’ Edge, his girlfriend Lita, and Carlito are in attendance. The crowd greets the sight of the heel trio with MAJOR heat; whilst Lita sits on Edge’s lap in the corner, and Carlito paces up and down, an apple in his hand.
Carlito’s been thinkin’, Edge … Carlito’s been thinkin’ ‘dat tonight is all about one thing.
Carly grins slyly.
Is about making a statement, Edge … is about provin’ to everyone that John Cena and Kurt Angle … ‘deys don’t deserve to Main Event Wrestlemania ... ‘cause ‘dat was Edge’s spot … ‘Dat was Carlito’s spot!
See here’s the thing, C, I’ve been saying THAT for weeks … I’ve been making it clear time and time and time again that the guys sitting on top of the mountain … MY mountain … our FRAUDS! John Cena is nothing but a white trash rapper with NOTHING … and Kurt Angle … it’s time that Olympic chumpstain shared some of the DAMN spotlight!
Carlito and Lita nod in agreement.
But they’re not even the worst. If ya wanna see the worst this business has to offer … take a walk to Friday Night SmackDown … take a look at their sorry ass excuse for a World Heavyweight Champion … take a look at Dave freakin’ Batista … look at that piece of crap and tell me that this place is fair. IT’S A JOKE!!!
Batista … ‘Dat’s not cool.
Edge laughs harshly.
No, Batista isn’t cool at all … but I’ll tell you what is … ME headlining Wrestlemania Twenty-Two! Y’see, Carlito, you’re right … you’re that guys like Kurt Angle, John Cena and Dave Batista have STOLEN are GUARAN – DAMN – TEED right to Main Event Wrestlemania … but unlike you, ‘Lito … unlike you, I can do something about it!
Lita reaches down and pulls up the MITB briefcase, handing it to her boyfriend.
It doesn’t matter how many times Raw and the WWE try to keep me down … it doesn’t matter how many times they try to ROB me of my GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO SIT ON THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN! ‘Cause I’ve got this baby right here … and this is gonna GUARANTEE that I walk out of Wrestlemania … as … a Champion …
The crowd can be heard booing loudly in the background, but Carlito looks rather thoughtful.
Carlito: (Under His breath)
Money … In … ‘Da … Bank …
You like the sound of that, huh? It’s PERFECT, Carlito … I won this contract a year … A YEAR … ago, and I’ve still got it now. Ya gotta pick your moment … seize your opportunity to break through that glass ceiling. Take a look at the year I had: I beat Chris Benoit, I beat Kane, and I beat that little BITCH Matt Hardy … but now … now it’s time for gold.
Carlito takes a bite.
But not tonight … tonight is all about Carlito and Edge provin’ a point … is all about beatin’ ‘Da CRAP out of John Cena and Kurt Angle … and maybe, maybe ‘Dey don’t make it to Wrestlemania … maybe Carlito makes it instead …
Carlito and Edge slap hands.
‘Dat … ‘Dat’s cool.
Edge: (Slapping briefcase)
Yes it is … BANK on it.
Edge, Lita and Carlito all smile furtively at one another, as we cut out.
Upon returning from the break, we head backstage.
Todd Grisham is standing by with a microphone in hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time … they are Charlie Haas and the WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin!
A brief scuffle can be heard, before Charlie Haas appear to a pop, but Shelton Benjamin quickly nudges in front of him. The two men jostle for prominence.
Todd Grisham: (Raising his eyebrows)
Uh, gentlemen, tonight for the THIRD straight week you will team up … this time in a Six Man Tag Match … at the behest of General Manager Eric Bischoff. What are your thoughts?
Charlie Haas: (Interrupting)
It’s all about being THE BEST, Todd … and me and Shelton were the greatest tag team this business has ever seen. Eric Bischoff knows it, the fans know it, and –
Shelton Benjamin: (Clears his throat)
But it doesn’t matter any more … ‘cause me and Charlie are THROUGH with tag team wrestling. This baby right here (Slaps IC belt)
PROVES that I have made it as a singles wrestler, and Eric Bischoff needs to understand that.
Haas eyes the Intercontinental title hungrily.
When it comes to tag team wrestling, it’s a case of been there –
Benjamin actually smirks.
And it ain’t about the World’s Greatest Tag Team anymore, Todd … it’s all about one man … it’s all about the Intercontinental Champion … Shelton … Benjamin.
Charlie Haas: (Through gritted teeth)
Shelton turns away from Grisham and looks sardonically at his former partner.
Last time I checked, Charlie, you’d won (Makes the o sign with his hand)
ZERO since you came back. So don’t kid yourself that ya gonna make it in this place.
Is that right?
Ya damn right, Charlie. When it comes to the World’s Greatest Tag Team, there’s’ only one –
A loud, obnoxious clapping is heard off camera and the camera soon pans over to show Kenny and the rest of the Spirit Squad, whom all get showered in heat as they smile.
Kenny: (To his team-mates)
Check it out, guys; it’s the World’s Most Overrated Tag Team. Oh, wait, that’s right, you two don’t DO tag team wrestling anymore, right? Can’t cut it anymore?
Beat it, Tweedle Dee.
Shelton … Shelton that hurts it really does. I would have thought that you of all people would show me … and Johnny … and Mitch … and Mikey … and Nicky some respect … from one great tag team (Points at Haas and Benjamin)
to the GREATEST OF ALL TIME! (Points to his squad)
Charlie and Shelton roll their eyes.
Oh, oh you don’t believe me? That’s fine, that’s fine. Just take a look at the facts. In our SECOND week on this damn show, we PINNED Kane and Big Show to win the World … Tag … Team … Championships. I think that’s a record, fellas, I think that PROVES we are BETTER than YOU!
The rest of the Spirit Squad murmur “Yeah”.
And if ya got a problem with that, guys … you know what you can do? Step it up and face US in that ring … so we can kick your sorry asses and show the world why we are the NEW WORLD’S GREATEST TAG TEAM!!!
Haas and Benjamin try to look indifferent, but they are clearly bothered, as Kenny gets right in their face.
The Spirit Squad all begin cackling loudly, waving their World Tag Team titles at Haas and Benjamin, before walking away noisily.
We cut back to ringside.
Tension still rife between Haas and Benjamin it seems, but I don’t know what the hell the Spirit Squad are trying to do. I can’t stand those guys.
Hey, they were just making a point, J.R, that they are the greatest tag team EVER. Haas and Benjamin know it’s true.
***Don’t Mess With*** The crowd gives some decent heat, as the dominant Diva Victoria makes her way down to the ring, looking focused and ready as always.
***So Fine*** The crowd gives a mixed reaction, as the young, talented and beautiful Mickie James walks out onto the stage, flanked by her mentor, the WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus, as well as the young Ashley Massaro. Trish is encouraging Mickie as they head down to the ring, but Mickie does not seem to be listening.
Well, last week we saw Victoria destroy young Ashley in her quest to get the Women’s title from Trish Stratus, but tonight she has a much tougher test against the cocky youngster Mickie James.
You better believe that it’s only a matter of time before Victoria is the Women’s Champion, J.R.
Match #2: Victoria vs. Mickie James
A fairly solid Diva match up in the beginning, but one that doesn’t take too much away from the prospect of a future bigger feud between these two big players. Victoria arrogantly underestimates young Mickie in the beginning, but pays for it when James hits her with a neckbreaker out of the blue. Mickie backs Victoria into the ropes with some hard rights, before going for an Irish Whip, which gets reversed. Mickie comes off the ropes and ducks a clothesline from Victoria, before drilling her with a stiff kick to the mid section. Mickie drags Victoria into the corner and climbs to the second turnbuckle, before leaping off with her variation of a Tornado DDT, the MICKIE-DT! Mickie covers for a shock win. 1 … 2 … NO! Victoria has her foot on the bottom rope. Mickie is stunned, and waits for her opponent to stand up, before going for the MICK KICK … but Victoria catches her foot. James looks terrified, as Victoria quickly shoves her away into the ropes. Mickie comes flying back and leaps up in a Cross body … but Victoria catches her in mid air, and drills her down to the canvas with a POWERSLAM! 1 … 2 … NO! Victoria drags a battered Mickie James up to her feet and backs her against the ropes with some hard forearm shots. She sends James off the ropes and nails a BACK BODY DROP, before pulling Mickie back up and setting her in position for the WIDOW’S PEAK … but Mickie slides off, and rolls out of the ring. The referee begins his ten count, whilst Victoria tries to follow to the outside but the ref holds her back. Trish and Ashley walk after Mickie, but the youngster storms back up the ramp, saying “Forget about it!”, ignoring her friends. The ref apologises to Victoria before finishing his count up, signalling the count out.
Winner: Victoria @ 06:08 via Count Out
Despite her being a heel, Victoria looks quite angered by the result, whilst Trish Stratus and Ashley look incredibly perplexed. Trish watches Mickie disappear behind the curtain, with Ashley in hot pursuit, as Victoria points threateningly at the Women’s Champion, mouthing, “You’re next!”
JBL mocks the legend of Ric Flair, until he is confronted by Matt Hardy. Batista and Undertaker make their match for the World Heavyweight Championship at No Way Out official, but the ‘Deadman’ continues to play mind games with the ‘Animal’.
When we return from the commercial break, we backstage, and into the office of Eric Bischoff, who is talking frantically on the phone.
Look, listen … I had no idea that Mister McMahon was gonna show up here tonight … Uh huh? Look, I think it’s for the best, Hunter if you stay out of the arena for the rest of the night. We don’t want anymore incident, do we –
The door opens and Bischoff looks up, to see John Cena, who is greeted by a huge pop.
(Hanging up) I’ll talk to you later. (To Cena)
John, thank you for –
Cut the crap, Bischoff. You said ya wanted to see me, and here I am. What d’you want?
Bischoff’s false smile fades.
Look, Cena, I don’t give a damn what all of those punks backstage are saying … I don’t even give a damn what Mister McMahon said … THIS IS MY SHOW … I’m the General Manager, so you show me some respect goddammit! Just because you can’t find Shawn Michaels, doesn’t mean –
Cena suddenly lunges forward and grabs Bischoff by his collar.
You know where Shawn Michaels is? TELL ME WHERE THAT SON OF A BITCH IS!!!
Eric Bischoff: (Frantically)
Hey, get your hands off me!!!
His jaw quivering, Cena reluctantly releases Bischoff and sighs deeply.
I know you know where he is, Bischoff. He works for you DAMNIT! He’s supposed to be here every Monday night to do his job, but instead he – what? – Sends me these messages – a bloody, broken chair! What Shawn Michaels needs to do is come down to that ring tonight and look me in the eye … man to man … and EXPLAIN to me why the hell he did what he did!!!
If I knew where the hell Shawn Michaels was, Cena, I’d tell ya, I really would. The fact is, I don’t have a clue where he’s gone.
Cena slowly removes his cap, showing the stitches in his skull.
Y’see this, Bischoff? You got ANY idea what the hell this is? This is what it looks like when a sorry ass PUNK decides to attack you from behind … this is what it looks like when a pissed off veteran decides it just ain’t his time to pass the torch yet. When my own blood flowed out of my SKULL at the Royal Rumble … EVERYTHING changed for me. Shawn Michaels calls himself the greatest of all time …
Cena rubs his chin, still glaring at Bischoff.
WELL I FEAR NOTHING AND I REGRET LESS!!! And I’m sure as hell not gonna regret a DAMN thing I do when Shawn Michaels finally decides to MAN UP and show himself. I … AM GONNA … BEAT HIM … WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS SORRY LIFE!!! And then he’ll know what it feels like!
Bischoff looks a little taken aback by the intensity, but clears his throat.
Anyway, Cena, I called you here to make sure that tonight … in our Main Event … even though you and Kurt Angle will be opponents at Wrestlemania for the WWE title … you WILL NOT lay a single hand on one another. Is that understood?
Ya’ll don’t need to lay down the law to me … ‘Boss’. But know this … if Shawn Michaels … Kurt Angle … Edge … Carlito … if any of them want a piece of John Cena, then they know that I NEVER BACK DOWN FROM A FIGHT … and I am ALWAYS right here …
Cena gets right in Bischoff’s face.
John Cena: (Whispering intently)
So if you want some … COME … GET … SOME …
Cena leaves the ominous words hanging in the air, as he pulls his cap back on, before storming from the office in a rage, leaving Bischoff to breathe a very long sigh of relief.
We cut back to ringside.
Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen John Cena as intense as he is right now. Where the hell Shawn Michaels is, I have no idea, but I wouldn’t want to be him. I wouldn’t want to be Edge or Carlito tonight either.
Cena is out of line. He needs to show Eric Bischoff the kind of respect he deserves, or it’s only a matter of time before someone like Shawn Michaels decides to beat some respect in that punk.
***Masterpiece*** The crowd boos, as the narcissistic youngster Chris Masters makes his way down to the ring, shedding his long robe and setting off his pyro in the process.
***Redneck*** Some more mid level heat, as the impressive team of Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch head down to the ring, still smirking about their victory last week, and taunting the fans.
***OOOO Chavo*** The crowd gives a nice pop, as the veteran former Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerrero makes his energetic entrance, bandana and all. He heads to the ring, where he drops to one knee to do his taunt to his opponents.
***Pay The Price*** Another good pop, this time for the former tag team Champion Charlie Haas, who heads down to the ring in his new ‘Flame’ tights, though with a slightly aggrieved look on his face.
***Ain’t No Stopping Me*** A great pop from the fans to greet the WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin, who heads down to the ring quickly, slapping hands with the crowd, and popping his collar confidently.
Well, what a huge match we have in store right now, folks. Six of Raw’s brightest, youngest and most athletic will battle it out, and you have to believe that with Wrestlemania drawing nearer, they all have a point to prove.
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch proved how good they are last week, when they beat Haas and Benjamin clean as a whistle, and I think we can expect the same result tonight, J.R.
Match #3; Six Man Tag: Chris Masters, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Chavo Guerrero, Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin
These six men show their impressive credentials by putting on one hell of a contest here tonight, with the other five working their very hardest to cover up any of Chris Masters’ flaws. There is a certain amount of tension still present between Haas and Benjamin, as they constantly squabble over who will be tagged in. Chavo is the ring though, and gets levelled by a hard SPINEBUSTER from Lance Cade, turning the tables and putting the heels in firm control. Using their tag team ability well, Cade and Murdoch tag in and out rapidly, working over Chavo in their corner, before bringing in Masters to really do some damage. ‘The Masterpiece’ nails Chavo with a sickening BACKBREAKER, followed by a RUNNING POWERSLAM. 1 … 2 … NO! Guerrero shows his spirit by refusing to stay down, whilst Masters lines him up for the MASTERLOCK … but Chavo slips down through Masters’ legs and comes off the ropes, dropkicking the powerful youngster in the back, knocking him onto his face. Chavo leaps towards his corner and tag in Benjamin, who waits for Masters to tag in Murdoch. Shelton springboards off the top rope with a FLYING FIST nailing the onrushing Murdoch in the jaw. Cade clambers into the ring, and tries to blindside Benjamin, but instead gets caught with a big time CLOTHESLINE. Waiting for Murdoch to get back up to his feet, Shelton prepares to pounce … but Haas tags himself in. The two men stare one another out, and Chris Masters tries to attack Haas, but ends up nailing Benjamin instead. Masters turns around and walks straight into an EXPLODER SUPLEX from Haas. Trevor Murdoch is staggering up to his feet, and Haas rushes up behind him, going for an OLYMPIC SLAM … but Murdoch slides off the shoulders and walks right into a SUPERKICK from Benjamin, before being grabbed by Haas and nailed with a BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! 1 … 2 … CADE BREAKS IT UP! Cade kicks Haas in the head and stands up, but only to be knocked over the top rope by Benjamin. Cade staggers back up to his feet on the outside, trying the shake away the cobwebs, but Shelton flies over the top with a PLANCHA, wiping Cade out! Back in the ring, Haas gets back up to his feet, and lays Murdoch out in the centre of the canvas. Haas climbs to the top rope and flies off with a MOONSAULT … but Murdoch moves! Haas crashes and burns, but Chavo Guerrero has tagged himself, as has Chris Masters. Chavo is on the top rope already and flies off the top with a FLYING CROSSBODY … but Masters catches him! The frightening power of ‘The Masterpiece’ sends gasps around the arena, as a smirking Masters flings Chavo up, spinning him around for the MASTERLOCK … but Chavo rolls through and hooks the legs! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winners: Chavo Guerrero, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin @ 12:52
WHAT AN UPSET! Chavo Guerrero just pinned the powerful youngster Chris Masters in what should have been a complete mismatch. On the outside of the ring, Shelton Benjamin grabs his title belt and tries to recover from his injuries, whilst Charlie Haas shakes his head in annoyance, still unable to get a pin fall victory for himself.
The face trio head back up the ramp, with Chavo celebrating jubilantly in between the bickering former partners of Benjamin and Haas. In the ring, Chris Masters holds his head in complete dismay and fury, scowling after Guerrero as he leaves.
Upon returning from the break, we head backstage and into the locker room of the WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus, Ashley and Mickie James, where an argument is in process.
What the hell was that, Mickie?!
Trish Stratus: (Trying to play peacemaker)
Ashley, c’mon …
The youngster though scowls at Trish, whilst Mickie looks uninterested.
No, Trish, you’ve taught us everything we know, and the least we can do is try and help you out. I did what I could against Victoria last week, but Mickie didn’t even –
Mickie James: (Rolling her eyes)
What? Lie down?
Mickie scoffs and grabs her bag.
What’s the point?
Mickie slings her bag over her shoulder and swaggers from the room cockily, giving Trish an arrogant smirk in the process. The camera closes in on the perplexed gaze on Trish’s face, as we…
Cut to a video package.
We cut back to ringside.
“The following tribute is being distributed by JBL Inc.”
Ric Flair Moment – After defeating Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat in one of the greatest matches of all time, Flair is brutally assaulted by the legendary Terry Funk.
The camera then fades to a backstage, pre-prepared set, donned in the American Flag and various Ric Flair memorabilia, with Orlando Jordan and Jillian Hall standing on either side, with John Bradshaw Layfield.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: NAAIIIT-CCCHHHAAA BOOOOYYY! Would ya take a look at that? The sixty minute man just ain’t as popular as he would like us to believe, ain’t that right, Ric?
Jillian and Orlando grin broadly.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: Just ask … Terry Funk? Just ask … RICKKAAAY STEAMBOAT! Sting! Arn Anderson! Harley Races! Dusty Rhodes, and MACCCHHOOO MANNN RANNDAAAYY SAVAGE (Toothy grin) I guess they all liked you once, Naitch … I guess they all called you brotha’ once. But now, Flair … they all … hate … your … guts!
Jillian claps her hands.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: Tonight … tonight all you people thought that you were gonna get an update on the condition of good ol’ Naitcha Boy … but really you couldn’t care less. It’s fine – just admit it … ‘cause I know it … you all know … Ric Flair is a piece … of … human … garbage. He is a DISGRACE to professional wrestling … a PLAGUE … and I … JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD … AM THE CURE!!!
Jillian Hall: That’s right!
JBL turns and smiles at his Image Consultant.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: So … you all tuned in for an update on Ric Flair did ya? Orlando!
Jordan steps forward and unfurls a full size picture of a Ric Flair, with several parts of his body marked in black. JBL pulls out a small pointer and begins gesturing.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: Ric Flair has … a fractured cheek bone (Jillian winces) … Ric Flair has … a broken arm (Orlando “Oohs”) … Ric Flair has TWO broken ribs … Ric Flair has a cold … Ric Flair has the flu … Ric Flair has a bad back … Ric Flair is senile … Ric Flair is breakin’ down … RIC FLAIR IS FIFTY SEVEN YEARS OLDS AND SHOULDN’T EVEN BE IN A WRESTLING RING ANYMORE!!!
JBL grabs the poster from Orlando and begins to tear it up wildly.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: There’s your update … THERE’S YOUR HERO … THERE’S YOUR LEGEND … THERE’S YOUR FRAUD!!! The update is … Ric Flair AIN’T … COMING … BACK!!! He’s gone … but JBL is STILL AND ALWAYS WILL BE … RIGHT … HERE!!!
JBL leans in close to the camera.
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield: (Whispering) This update was brought to you courtesy of the WWE’s one and only … Wrestling GAWD … John … Bradshaw … Layfield … WOOO!!!
JBL makes me sick, Coach.
Ha ha, I love the guy. He makes so much sense.
There a two local jobbers already standing in the ring, as…
***Crank It Up*** The crowd rises to its feet and showers the treacherous and destructive Big Show in heat, as he stomps down to the ring, looking pissed off as always, barely acknowledging the fans at all, before climbing in over the top rope.
Video package of Big Show’s attack on Kane plays.
Well, here he is, folks, the man who betrayed his partner – his friend – Kane and cost them both the World Tag Team titles, before almost killing the ‘Big Red Machine’ a couple of weeks ago, in one of the most brutal attacks I have ever witnessed.
Well, Kane should have thought twice about stealing Big Show’s spot in the Royal Rumble then, J.R.
Match #4; 2 On 1 Handicap: Big Show vs. Two Local Jobbers
Nothing more than a program to get Big Show’s new heel persona over some more, as he shows off his phenomenal destruction over the two unfortunate souls. From the bell, Show runs through the two men with a series of hard hitting clotheslines and headbutts, nearly knocking both men clean out of the ring. Show sends the first Jobber off the ropes and nails him with a BIG BOOT, before giving the second Jobber another Irish Whip off the ropes and lifting him up high into the air with a MILITARY PRESS! The crowd gasps in awe at Big Show’s power, as he holds the jobber up high, before dropping him onto his face! Show grabs the first Jobber again, despite him nearly being out of it already … and drills him with a COBRA CLUTCH BACKBREAKER! Having almost broken the poor man in half, Show gives him no sympathy and connects with the FINAL CUT! Limp and like a rag doll, the Jobber is tossed aside by Big Show, who turns his attention back to the second Jobber. Show drags the unconscious athlete up to his feet and wraps his massive hand around his throat, before lifting him up high and slamming him down with a monstrous CHOKESLAM! Big Show barely covers, and instead just places one of his massive feet over the motionless Jobber. 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner: Big Show @ 02:14
Big Show stands over his two fallen opponents with a completely emotionless gaze in his eyes, not caring that the boos are coming in from the crowd, or even acknowledging them at all. He makes to leave the ring … BOOM!!!
***Slow Chemical*** Kane makes his way down to the ring, with a nasty looking STEEL CHAIN wrapped around his hand. The ‘Big Red Machine’ steps into the ring, where Big Show waits for him … but Show sees the weapon, and leaves the ring smartly, though not coming across as weak. Big Show glowers at his former friend, as he backs all the way up the ramp, as Kane sets off his huge pyro in the ring, with the two behemoths staring a hole through each other.
The dominance of Big Show is just plain SCARY, Coach. But it looks as though Kane is still out for revenge.
If I were Kane, I’d think twice about stepping into the ring with the most dominant athlete this business has ever seen. J.R.
We return from the break with Big Show on a rampage backstage, kicking over crates, picking them up and throwing them into the backstage set, sending the workers fleeing.
Cut to the backstage area, where Maria is standing by.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time … he is the WWE Champion … Kurt Angle.
Kurt Angle enters the frame to a big pop from the fans, holding his WWE title over his shoulder, and looking as intense as ever.
Kurt, last week you successfully defeated Triple H to ensure that you will face your partner tonight, John Cena, at Wrestlemania. What are your thoughts?
Wrestlemania … (scoffs) I’ve Main Evented that place MANY times before … I’ve danced under the bright lights … I’ve stood SHOULDER TO SHOULDER with the greatest and best of all time … but I’ve never won in a Main Event … BUT ALL THAT CHANGES THIS TIME!!!
Maria looks startled by Angle’s sudden outburst of emotion. Angle wait’s a second or two to calm down before responding.
Being the best … Is what I do. Being the best … is what I am. Being the best … IS WHAT I ALWAYS WILL BE!!! But … I know it … you know it … and EVERYONE knows that I am not truly the greatest OF ALL TIME … until I do it on the greatest stage of all time … until I walk into Wrestlemania the WWE Champion … and WALK OUT THE WWE CHAMPION!!!
Angle looks furiously into the camera, quivering with intensity. He grabs his gold medals, which are around his neck, and holds them out for Kristal to see and then shows them to the camera.
1996 Olympic Gold Medallist. Y’see this? This proves that I am the BEST at what I did … this proves I was the BEST IN THE WORLD at what I was … when I walked out in front of the world in Atlanta … and WON … and proved the doubters WRONG!!!
Angle pats his title belt.
But April 2nd won’t be about Olympic Gold Medals … it won’t be about Atlanta or Freestyle Wrestling … it’s gonna be about this (Pats title)
, it’s gonna be about Chicago … it’s gonna be about ME … John Cena … ONE ON ONE … THE VERY LAST TIME EVER!!!
Angle stares at the camera.
Cena, you and me … we’ve had our battles in the past … it was YOU who I made BLEED to win this baby right here … and I know you hate my guts. I know that … ‘cause I hate yours too. But tonight … tonight is all about making those little birches Carlito and Edge wish they never said a word about Wrestlemania … wish they NEVER questioned our integrity. But that’s tonight, Cena …
That’s tonight, Cena … but at Wrestlemania it isn’t gonna be about anyone else but ME … AND YOU! MAN ON MAN … WHO IS TRULY THE BEST! You’re gonna have to face your worst nightmare on April 2nd … ‘cause you’re stepping into the ring with a WRESTLING FREAKIN’ MACHINE … AND I WILL … MAKE … YOU TAP!!!
The crowd can be heard cheering in the background, whilst Kurt leans in close on the microphone.
Kurt Angle: (Whispering)
It’s real … it’s DAMN real …
Angle gives the camera and Maria a last look of total seriousness, before stalking away.
We cut back to ringside.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kurt Angle look so intense, Coach. I almost feel sorry for Edge and Carlito tonight.
You shouldn’t, J.R. Angle and Cena are all talk!
***Cool*** The fans pour the ever increasing heat on the cocky youngster Carlito, who strolls out onto the stage, his t-shirt over his dark trunks, tossing an apple up and down in his hands. He heads down to the ring, never stopping taunting the fans on the way.
***Metalingus*** The smoke rises, and the crowd rises to its feet with probably the loudest heat of the night, as the ‘Rated R Superstar’ Edge races out onto the stage looking hyped up for this contest. He bounces up and down on his toes, his long trench coat blowing in the air behind him. His sultry girlfriend Lita follows behind him slowly, carrying the MITB briefcase, as they slide into the ring, and begin talking with CCC.
***My Time Is Now*** The crowd EXPLODES for the arrival of the ‘Doctor Of Thuganomics’ and the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship, John Cena. Cena barely even plays to the fans though, as he seems focused tonight, as he walks straight down to the ring, removing his shirt and cap in the process.
***Medal*** A THUNDEROUS ovation from the crowd, greeting the WWE Champion Kurt Angle, who marches out onto the stage quivering with intensity, his title around his waist before setting off his huge pyro. He begins to walk down to the ring … BUT EDGE AND CARLITO AMBUSH CENA IN THE RING!!!
What the hell is this!!?? Edge and Carlito just blindsided John Cena! Kurt Angle better get a move on!
Ha ha! It’s brilliant, J.R!
Match #5; Tag Team: Carlito & Edge vs. John Cena & Kurt Angle
These four guys do exactly what one would expect them to do in the time given to them, and that is to complete tear it up and put on a wonderful contest. In the opening, Angle slides into the ring and sends Carlito flying head over heels to the outside, just as John Cena gets the better of Edge and knocks him through the ropes too. The dominance of Angle and Cena is pretty much in place for the early going, even with the obvious tension, they still manage to stay on the same page. Around the eight minute mark, Carlito manages to get Cena into the corner and goes for the Irish Whip, but Cena reverses it and sends CCC crashing into the corner, bouncing out, and Cena nails a FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! 1 … 2 … NO! Carlito kicks out, and Cena tags in Angle, who eyes his partner suspiciously, before racing into the ring. Cena and Angle back Carly into the ropes and Irish Whip him across the ring, before drilling him with a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Carlito clutches his back, and stumbles up, but Angle grabs him for a GERMAN SUPLEX … throws him over his head … but Carlito lands on his feet, and tags in Edge! Angle turns around, as Edge flies towards him looking for a SPEAR, but Kurt catches him and nails an OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Edge cries out in pain, staggering back up to his feet, whilst Angle lets out a roar of intensity. Angle scoops Edge up in the air, but the ‘Rated R Superstar’ drops down behind the WWE Champion and drills him with the Edge-O-Matic! 1 …2 … NO! Edge rakes his fingers through his hair and heads over to the legs of the WWE Champion, looking to apply the Edgecator, but Angle fights out of it, pushing Mr. Money In The Bank away. Angle jumps up to his feet and sprints at Edge, but Edge leap frogs the Olympian … but Kurt turns quickly and lifts Edge up, nailing the ANGLE SLAM! 1 … 2 … CARLITO BREAKS IT UP! Cena is in the ring like a flash, wiping Carlito out with a big time clothesline, before sending him into the ropes and drilling him with a SPINEBUSTER! The referee gets Cena back to the apron, as Angle tags him in, and Cena comes off the ropes, dropping the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE over the face of Edge. Cena waits for Edge to get up, then lifts him up high, looking for the F-U … but Edge fights out of it and comes off the ropes … SPEAR … drop toe hold from Cena … and applies the STF-U! Edge writhes like a mad man in the deadly submission, and Carlito suddenly springboards off the ropes, dropping his elbow into the crown of Cena’s skull. Angle is in the ring immediately, and Carlito holds up his hands in innocence, but goes for a cheap shot … but Angle blocks it and trips Carly, applying the ANKLE LOCK! Carlito crawls underneath the bottom rope, but Angle holds onto his ankle and follows him to the outside. Back in the ring, a dazed Edge, and a dazed Cena stagger back to their feet and turn around, allowing Cena to lift Edge up high and deliver the F-U! It looks to be all over now, as Cena prepares to drop on top of Edge … ***SEXY BOY*** The crowd erupts in a massive reaction of shock and heat, as the music of Shawn Michaels plays over the PA for the first time since the Royal Rumble. Cena stands up immediately and walks towards the ropes, looking at the top of the ramp with eyes of fire. Even Kurt Angle on the outside seems surprised and releases the Ankle Lock … but Carlito drills him with a BACK STABBER!!! Cena leans over the ropes, demanding that HBK come out … but there is no one. The crowd can be heard screaming, and Cena slowly turns around … SPEAR!!! The opportunistic Edge falls on top of Cena. 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winners: Carlito and Edge @ 16:56
EDGE PINS CENA! The ‘Rated R Superstar’ rolls out of the ring immediately, celebrating like a wild man, much to the horror of the fans around the arena, whilst Lita greets her man. Carlito scurries around to them too, grinning broadly. The mouthy and cocky heel trio back up the ramp slowly, savouring the impacting victory over the WWE Champion and the #1 Contender.
On the outside of the ring, Kurt Angle gingerly stumbles back up to his feet, still feeling the effects of the Back Stabber, but also staring furiously at Cena. The ‘Doctor Of Thuganomics’ sits up in the ring, clenching his fists brutally, whilst Angle grabs his title belt from ringside and throws it over his shoulder. Cena looks from the top of the ramp, to Angle, and back to the top of the ramp again.
Shawn Michaels isn’t even in the damn building and he still managed to cost John Cena the match here tonight. Edge and Carlito are nothing but snakes.
Jonathan Coachman: (Laughing)
Wrong place, wrong time for John Cena. Right place, right time for Edge!
Angle raises his title in the air to a tremendous reaction with incredible intensity, locking eyes with his Wrestlemania challenger, who looks to have had his head messed with one time too many.
END OF SHOW
Current Card for WWE WrestleMania XXII:
Date: April 2nd, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena; Chicago, Illinois
Event Music: I Dare You; Bullets and Octane
Kurt Angle © vs. John Cena
World Heavyweight Championship:
Batista OR The Undertaker vs. ????????
Thanks to Crazian for the banner