WWE RAW – December 17th, 2007
Shot of the crowd
Hello everyone, I’m “Good Ol’ J.R.” Jim Ross, here with Jerry “The King” Lawler, and just twenty four hours removed from one hell of a pay per view in Armageddon, we’ve got the fallout for you here tonight.
No doubt about that, J.R. We’ve got Kurt Angle in action tonight. Daniel Bryan is in action tonight. The new Divas Champion Trish Stratus is in action tonight, and we’re gonna here from our new WWE Champion, “The Rated R Superstar” Edge tonight.
One person we will not be hearing from tonight will be “The People’s Champion” The Rock. The Rock guaranteed that he would retire if he did not capture the WWE Title last night. He did not. And The Rock is not here tonight.
Jerry Lawler: And after what The Rock did to John Cena last night, I don’t think The Boss will be here tonight either.
***MY TIME IS NOW***
A THUNDEROUS REACTION greets –
“THE BOSS” JOHN CENA
This man is superhuman, J.R.!
I don’t think there’s any doubt about that! The Boss is here!!!
The former WWE Champion steps out onto the stage, a bandage covering his head where he was busted open last night. He’s also got the slightest of limps, wearing his usual jeans and “BOSS, BITCH” shirt.
There is the man that DOMINATED the Elimination Chamber Match last night at Armageddon! As soon as Cena entered, that match up changed completely! He eliminated Jeff Hardy. He eliminated JBL. He eliminated The Rock. And he was ready to eliminate Edge – when The Rock hit him with a low blow and proceeded to beat the living hell out of John Cena.
You can’t blame The Rock, J.R. Emotions were definitely running high, The Rock and Cena don’t like each other, Cena has assaulted The Rock before… and then he had his career taken from him by the same man??
Cena climbs into the ring, and calls for a microphone.
The Rock said he was done, and after a hell of a career, I can’t say that I’m gonna judge The Great One on one moment, even if it did cost Cena the WWE Title. I don’t think John Cena is gonna feel the same, however.
The Boss has finally got himself a microphone, and he brings it up to his mouth as his theme music dies down.
Last night… last night at Armageddon—
“CENA! CENA! CENA!”
Cena waits the crowd out… not acknowledging them.
Last night at Armageddon… The Rock cost me the WWE Championship.
I picked The Rock up, I slammed him to the canvas with the FU, and I sent his ass packing to Hollywood with the one, two, three.
Another mixed reaction.
The Rock decided that he didn’t wanna go out like that, and nailed me with a low blow, stuck me and my ginormous chin through plated glass, and hit me with a Rock Bottom.
And you know what that means?? That means that Edge is now walking around with the WWE Championship.
Now, Rock… I’m not gonna cry over spilt milk, and I’m most certainly not gonna be a hypocrite about my actions. I did the same thing to you months ago at Backlash. So, hey, what’s fair is fair. But I tell you what ain’t gonna happen. I ain’t gonna let you get off that easy.
Crowd pops, followed by some boos.
You don’t get one up on John Cena and then leave like everything is okay. I don’t do an eye for an eye – and no, even though we’re even we are definitely, not, done!
Another mixed reaction
You ain’t leaving, Rock… not if I have anything to say about it! So, look, name the time and the place and you and I are gonna do the damn thang! The Rock versus John Cena!!!
Whatdya say, Rocky?? Do you still got the stones somewhere in the People’s Trousers –
You really wanna go out the way you did last night?? You wanna go out like a bitter, angry, washed-up man who couldn’t cut it on the big stage with the bigger, stronger, younger dog in the yard?
Cena raises his eyebrow quizzically.
Or do you want to come back and give us all what we want to see. We’ve seen Austin and Rock, we’ve seen Hogan and Rock, we’ve seen Hogan and Andre. There’s only one monstrosity of a match up that we haven’t seen. Come on, big time. Me and you -- one on one! Name the time, and name the place, and I swear to you I will be there.
Another loud reaction.
I swear to you that you and I will get those bright lights, the tens of thousands of fans, a massive amount of media and the big ol’ paychecks that you love so much for the biggest match of all time – and then I swear to you that I will beat you within an inch of your LIFE!
THUNDEROUS mixed reaction
Rocky, I –
The crowd boos as the new WWE Champion EDGE steps out onto the stage, sans Lita. The Rated R Superstar wears a dark t-shirt, shades and a pair of jeans, with his newly won title over his shoulder. The champ also has a microphone in hand.
Haha!! There he is, J.R.!! The Champ!!
Last night, “The Rated R Superstar” Edge recaptured the WWE Title – even though John Cena did all the work –
Don’t be disrespectful, J.R. None of that matters! All that matter is everything is right with the world! After an absolute TERRIBLE month without the title in it’s rightful place, Edge is champion again.
Edge brings the mic up as his music dies down.
Boos from the crowd as Edge smirks.
I go through five WWE superstars last night to recapture my WWE Championship, the biggest prize in the industry, and who’s opening the show?? Is it me?? Is it the new champion? No, it’s John Cena.
And what’s he talking about? Is he talking about how he lost to the better man last night? Is he giving “props” to the new WWE Champion?? No… John Cena is talking about The Rock.
John Cena is blaming
The Rock. I got news for ya, John. You didn’t lose to The Rock. You lost to ME!
Big heat. Edge smirks.
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
I got some more news for ya, John Boy. The Rock… is GONE!
The Rock left! The Rock retired! And let the record show that The Rock retired at MY HANDS.
The Rock lost in a match that I won, which means I… am… king!
So… if you still want yourself a piece of The Rock, you’ll have to wait until his next movie hits theatres or DVD. And if you can’t wait that long, go backstage, and have Coachman grab his number, and you can call him on the phone. But what YOU are not gonna do is overshadow MY moment.
Even more heat.
Tonight isn’t about you. Tonight is about me. Tonight is about me and my WWE Championship finding it’s way home.
Tonight is about me overcoming ALL the odds; overcoming the Elimination Chamber, overcoming five other WWE superstars – You, Rock, Morrison, Hardy and JBL! Tonight is about The Rated R Superstar once again becoming The Rated R Champion!
So, if you don’t mind… and even if you do… get the hell out of my ring.
OH~! Crowd boos.
Cena’s eyebrows raise and a smile creeps across his face.
Right now, John!
The Boss looks to the crowd, almost as if he’s asking if Edge is serious. The Rated R Superstar looks serious enough, scowl on his face.
CENA! CENA! CENA! CENA!
Well… Edge… you make a compelling argument. I’m not entirely sure who you were talking to… because NOBODY speaks to The Boss that way.
You wanna get in this ring so bad, so you can strut your stuff and have your little coronation? You want me to leave? Then come on down, and make me leave.
You’re either gonna get what you want and I’m gonna kiss your feet… or you’ll end up in the hospital.
Not sure yet… but you can come on down and find out.
Edge lets out a smirk.
Sure thing… Boss.
Edge drops the microphone, and slowly but surely begins to make his way down to the ring as the crowd goes wild. The Boss reaches up and takes off his T-shirt, flinging it away, much to the delight of the girls in the crowd.
Oh, here we go! Here we go! John Cena and Edge here! The Boss and the champ about to get it on!
The new WWE Champion reaches the bottom of the ramp, and reaches up, grabbing a hold of the middle rope… as if he was about to get into the ring… but he rethinks it, letting go. The crowd boos as Edge watches Cena, who continues to call The Rated R Superstar on in.
Edge shakes his head… and turns around… walking back up the entrance ramp, as the crowd heat picks up once more. Cena shake his head, disgusted with Edge’s cowardice…
But the crowd noise immediately begins to pick up…
AS TWO EDGE LOOK ALIKES HOP OVER THE CROWD BARRICADE AND SLIDES INTO THE RING!!!
What the hell is this!!!??!?
There’s two Edges – two MORE Edges! Three times the Edge, J.R.!!!
The Boss immediately reacts, and turns around, swinging away on both of them!!! The two Edge look alikes battles Cena… but it’s The Boss who begins to win out, his big right hand, keeping the two long blonde-haired superstars at bay!!!
Cena then turns around –
I don’t know who in the hell these two are, but they are beating the hell out of an already beaten and battered John Cena!
Edge spears him in half, and now the three men STOMP AWAY ON CENA!!!! With the crowd pouring on the heat, Edge and company lay into the motionless Cena –
UNTIL JEFF HARDY SPRINTS DOWN THE ENTRANCE RAMP –
STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!!!!
THE CROWD ERUPTS as The Extreme Enigma reaches the ring and slides on in! The champion and his crew immediately bail.
There you go! What a champ! What a champ! He wants no part of fair fight!
He wants no part of a psychopath in makeup with a steel chair, J.R.!
I don’t know if Jeff is out here to help Cena, or just to get himself a piece of Edge, but he saved The Boss’ ass here tonight.
As Jeff paces the ring and The Boss slowly but surely gets back up to his feet, clutching his ribs… Edge raises the WWE Title as we fade out…
Replay of what happened before the break with Cena being speared by Edge, and then attacked by Edge’s clones before Jeff Hardy made the save.
The audience ERUPTS as “THE WRESTLING MACHINE” KURT ANGLE steps out onto the stage, smile on his face, ready to compete.
That man, Kurt Angle, last night at Armageddon won the triple threat match between himself, Umaga and The Big Show, pinning the giant in the middle of the ring.
He didn’t end the undefeated streak of the Samoan Bulldozer, but you’d have to imagine that Angle is pretty happy about last night.
1 – Singles Match
Kurt Angle vs. Luther Reigns
The match starts out with The Wrestling Machine doing what he does best – wrestle. He takes the big man down with a couple of leg sweeps and dragon screws, and goes for the Ankle Lock each time… but Reigns manages to reach the ropes.
Big Lu rolls to the outside, and shakes his ankle loose, before he gets back into the ring… only to roll outside once more, much to the chagrin of the crowd… and to Angle. The Olympic Gold Medalist follows him out, and Reigns hits him with a knee to the gut, and then SLAMS him into the STEEL STEPS, taking control of this match up in one foul swoop!
As Reigns throws Kurt back into the ring, our commentators mention the history between these two, with Angle bringing Reigns into the company a few years ago. MVP’s bodyguard dominates the next few minutes of the match up, using his size and strength to keep the former World Heavyweight Champion at a disadvantage.
Of course, The Wrestling Machine makes his comeback, suplexing Luther all over the ring! Angle then goes for the ANGLE SLAM – but Reigns counters, landing behind him! The big man then throws a CLOTHESLINE – but Angle ducks it! Reigns then goes for a BIG BOOT – but Angle catches it – AND LOCKS IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!! It doesn’t take very long, for Big Lu to TAP OUT!!
Winner: Kurt Angle via submission at 6:40.
“Medal” hits and Angle gets his hand raised in victory to the delight of the crowd, which cheers on The Wrestling Machine.
Kurt Angle is ready! The Wrestling Machine looks more focused, more refreshed than we’ve seen him in a long time!
He’s put this saga with Umaga and The Big Show behind him, and you’ve gotta imagine that his sights are set on the Royal Rumble, J.R.
BACKSTAGE – ARENA DOORS
JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD, the now former WWE Champion, walks through the doors, carrying his bag. JBL doesn’t wear a scowl as he walks through the hallway… though he does look quite a bit dejected…
But soon, a scowl does appear on his face… as ANGELINA WILLIAMS walks up to him.
JBL no sells her, continuing his walk. Angel follows.
John, we need to talk.
Layfield stops a backstage worker.
Where’s my locker room, son??
Down the hallway, take a right; third door on the left.
JBL keeps walking… but stops, turning back to the worker.
And keep her
the hell away from me.
The worker has a look at Angel… and takes a breath, before he turns back to JBL.
Yes sir, Mr. Layfield.
JBL keeps walking… leaving a shocked and dejected Angelina behind…
BACKSTAGE – EDGE LOCKER ROOM
EDGE and his EDGE LOOK ALIKES burst through the doors. The WWE Champion wears a huge smile on his face as he looks around the locker room.
Lita: (Off screen)
I’m drying off!!
Come out here!!
Edge and company wait for a bit… and LITA walks out, wrapped in a towel. She looks stunned.
Why didn’t you tell me you had company? I’m half naked.
This isn’t company, Lita. This is your new family. This is Curt Hawkins… and this is Zach Ryder. These are my Edgeheads
. This is the start of my new Rated R Army.
As the EDGHEADS stick their chests out and Edge smiles, Lita nods her head, somewhat sarcastically, unimpressed.
Can I go now?
Y’see, I realized with your selfish actions these last few weeks in the Divas Tournament… sorry about last night, by the way—
I perhaps need a backup strategy whenever you decide to not be a team player.
Not be a team player!?
Relax, baby. I forgive you.
Lita gets even more pissed.
As the WWE Champion, I will be a forgiving and benevolent king. And how can I be that, if I’m not willing to forgive the second most important thing in my life… you.
While the Edgeheads wipe tears from their face and Edge holds his hand against his heart, Lita rolls her eyes.
Edge kisses her on the forehead.
You can finish up now.
Lita shakes her head and walks off.
The king turns to his army.
We see our first action tonight. Coachman has made a match. It’s me and you two… against Jeff Hardy… JBL… and John Cena in a six man tag match for tonight’s main event.
Ryder and Hawkins nod their heads excitedly.
The Rated R Reign begins once more. Don’t let me down out there tonight.
Don’t worry, champ. It’s under the control.
It’s ALL under control.
BACK TO RINGSIDE.
VISCERA waits in the ring…
The crowd gives a mixed reaction – a somewhat loud one – as “THE AMERICAN DRAGON” DANIEL BRYAN steps out onto the stage, American Dragon “Championship” on his shoulder and PAUL HEYMAN by his side.
Ladies and gentlemen, last night, Daniel Bryan successfully defeated Ken Doane, the former Intercontinental Championship in one minute and nineteen seconds.
It’s impossible, J.R. I’ve never seen anything like this American Dragon. He’s just DOMINATING, J.R.
2 – Singles Match
Daniel Bryan vs. Viscera
Somewhat surprisingly, Viscera lasts longer than a minute and nineteen seconds, with the American Dragon needing some time to chop down the massive Viscera. He looks to use his shin kicks to bring him down to size – but each time Vis gets his hands on Bryan, he knocks him down.
Vis goes for a BIG SPLASH – but Bryan rolls out of the way, causing him to crash and burn! Dragon then looks to lock in the CATTLE MUTILATION – but Vis is just too big, and he can’t get a grip of his enormous arms. Both men get back up, and Viscera muscles him into the corner, crushing him!
Viscera then scoops Bryan up – but Dragon slides off, landing behind him! Bryan then hits off the ropes, and when Viscera turns around – DRAGON NAILS HIM WITH A RUNNING KNEE TO THE FACE, and covers him, getting the three count!
Winner: Daniel Bryan via pin fall at 4:33.
Dragon gets up off of Viscera and wipes his arms off; all in a day’s work.
Impressive. Heyman talks the talk, and damn it, this kid walks the walk each and every time he steps into the ring.
You’re right about that one, J.R..
Paul Heyman has got himself a microphone and Bryan’s AmDrag Championship as he enters the ring. Heyman raises the hand of Dragon once more, getting another reaction from the crowd.
Dragon then takes his leave… while Heyman remains, microphone in hand.
Paul Heyman is in the ring, microphone in hand, and one knows that Paul Heyman has always got something interesting to say. Paul Heyman, next.
Paul Heyman stands by.
The music dies down, and Heyman brings the mic up to his mouth.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I not only represent the technical monster we’ve just seen in this ring, “The American Dragon” Daniel Bryan –
But I also represent the five hundred pound giant, the walking weapon of mass destruction, The Big Show.
So, that being said, the rest of this statement needs to be directed to the so-called “Samoan Bulldozer” and his… handler, whatever that is, Armando Alejandro Estrada.
Mr. Estrada, while Kurt Angle may be done with you and this entire situation, make no mistake about it, sir, I am not… and more importantly, The Big Show is not. You don’t get to cost a giant his sight, you don’t get to piss a giant off, and walk away after a triple threat match. No, sir. The Big Show wants Umaga ONE on ONE.
You walk around here saying that Umaga can’t be hurt. Umaga can’t be beat. Umaga can’t be deafeated.
The Big Show and I would absolutely LOVE to put that theory of yours to the test, Estrada.
Heyman strolls the ring.
Now, Armando, if you would like this match to take place… tonight, maybe –
We’d be fine with that. If you want to wait a bit, and give your… “monster” time to prepare himself for the complete ONSLAUGHT that The Big Show plans to put down on Umaga… we could wait until say… I don’t know… the Royal Rumble.
Crowd boos; they want to see it tonight.
The choice for the time and the place is yours, Mr. Estrada, but make no mistake about it, those are the ONLY choices that are left to you. This match IS happening.
Heyman’s eyes show a fire in them.
The Big Show and Umaga WILL meet, and they WILL meet in this, very, ring whether you like it or not. This is not a discussion. This is not an negotiation. The Big Show and your undefeated Bulldozer are going to go at it… or The Big Show shall unleash HELL upon you, sir.
The Big Show has tipped over jeeps. The Big Show has thrown people through glass windows. The Big Show has chokeslammed people through rings. The Big Show has BROKEN steel cages. The Big Show has BROKEN rings. The Big Show… does not take no for an answer, ESPECIALLY –
When he’s walking past the donut table.
The crowd laughs a bit…
As ARMANDO ALEJANDRO ESTRADA walks out onto the stage, wearing his usual suit, shades and smile, sans Umaga.
Estrada carries a microphone, and speaks as he walks down the entrance ramp.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Mr. Heyman, ju’ll have to excuse me… I heard the majority of what ju said – Big Show, Umaga, jes – haha, but I started to dose off a bit towards the end there. Ju can run a bit long.
Estrada walks up the steps and enters the ring.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
No offense, I’m sure ju’ve heard that before.
Heyman actually nods and smiles.
A couple of times.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
So, if ju would give me the – como si dice – run down of it all once again. The Big Show… Senior Roly Poly, haha, is going to do what to my Bulldozer??
Heyman simply smiles.
Estrada has a smirk as well. He reaches up, takes the shades off his face, and hangs them on the front of his jacket.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
I got news for ju, Senior Heyman. Umaga is undefeated. Umaga is a Bulldozer. And therefore, Umaga doesn’t have to do anything that Umaga doesn’t want to do. Comprende, compadre?
Heyman’s smile fades.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
So as for jour so-called lack of options, ju and The Big Show can STICK IT, up your rather grande culos. Haha!
Crowd laughs a bit.
Some in the crowd try to get a “Grande Culo” chant started, but it quickly dies out.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Umaga wrestles when I say against whom I say – therefore, if I don’t want him to face jour Big Show… then he won’t face jour Big Show, and there’s nothing that ju or he can do about it, except cry to your mommies.
Paul shakes his head.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
BUT – but, I am not completely against the idea of this match up. I’m sure these… people would like to see The Big Show against Umaga.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
But not tonight of course.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
We’ll figure out the time and the place at a later date, Senior Heyman… but first, ju must agree to my conditions. A sixty-forty split of the pre-match purse.
Heyman considers this.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
And I heard The Big Show likes cars.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
I want a car! TWO cars!!
Paul shakes his head.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Like the Oprah – JU get a car! JU get a car! JU get a car!! We all get cars!! But mostly just me!! Haha!
More boos for Armando.
Heyman finally brings the mic back up.
And what if I tell you to stick it, Mr. Estrada?
A few cheers
What if I tell you that I’ll take my chances with The Big Show convincing you that this match is what’s best for business?
Estrada squints his eyes.
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Are ju threatening me, Senior Heyman?
And then gets into Estrada’s face.
Take it however you like… Senior… puto
Armando Alejandro Estrada:
Big mistake, Senior FATSO – ladies and gentlemen, I bring to ju… THE (crowd chants along)
SAAAAAAMOAN BULLDOZER… UUUUUUUUUUMAAGAAA!!!!
“THE SAMOAN BULLDOZER” UMAGA steps out onto the stage, and Heyman immediately begins shitting bricks.
I’m no Paul Heyman fan, but he’s got to get the hell out of there!!!
Run for it, Paul!!!
Umaga begins storming down the ramp as Estrada grins widely, taking his shades and putting them back over his eyes.
Heyman, unfortunately for him, seems to be frozen in fear, unmoving.
He’s petrified! Scared stiff! This is not gonna be good! We’ve seen Umaga destroy MONSTERS! Imagine what he’s gonna do to Heyman.
When The Samoan Bulldozer reaches the bottom of the ramp…
Heyman lets out a smile.
Estrada looks confused… and that seems to confuse Umaga for a bit…
THE BIG SHOW
COMES FROM UNDERNEATH THE RING!!!!
The Big Show, J.R.!!!
The Big Show is here!!
ESTADA COMPLETELY LOSES HIS SHIT – BUT IT’S TOO LATE!!!
SHOW GRABS UMAGA AROUND THE THROAT—
AND LIFTS HIM HIGH—
CHOKESLAM ON THE FLOOR!!!!!
The Big Show with one HELL of a chokeslam to The Samoan Bulldozer!! Bah God, what a chokeslam!!
I think it’s safe to say that Armando and Umaga have been set up.
Show stands over the Samoan Bulldozer… but he slowly turns toward the ring… at Armando Estrada.
AAE shakes his head no rapidly from side to side but The Big Show doesn’t care, climbing onto the apron.
I think Armando Estrada might just be in a whole lot of trouble. The giant, The Big Show, is getting into the ring.
Estrada tries to make a run for it, but Heyman grabs him! Armando begs off, trying to get free, as The Big Show steps over the top rope. Heyman lets Estrada go… and AAE gets onto his knees, begging for mercy from the giant.
The Big Show looks around at the crowd, and they all yell “DO IT,” more than wanting to see Armando get his, while Estrada continues to beg. Show grabs Estrada… and helps him up to his feet.
AAE looks nervous… but The Big Show gives him a hug.
Haha! Look at that, J.R.!! Friends!!
I don’t understand this at all.
The crowd boos as Armando soon returns the hug, letting out a smile. The two break it up and AAE gives the thumbs up to the audience, being booed roundly –
BEFORE SHOW GRABS HIM AROUND THE NECK!!!!
THE CROWD ERUPTS
“BUT WE HUGGED! SHOW, WE HUGGED!”
THE BIG SHOW LIFTS ESTRADA UP AND SLAMS HIM TO THE CANVAS WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!!!!
BAH GOD, ARMANDO ESTRADA HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!!!
As Estrada convulses in pain, The Big Show yells to the crowd, and they respond in kind. Umaga rolls into the ring, somewhat recovered and Heyman tells Show “let’s wait for the match.”
“Crank It Up” hits, and The Big Show and Heyman take their leave from the ring
The message has been sent!! The Big Show wants Umaga!! And damn it, he’ll destroy Estrada and Umaga until he gets him!!!
Show taunts to the crowd at the top of the ramp, as Heyman smirks beside him.
Replay of what happened between The Big Show, Umaga, Estrada and Heyman before the break.
3 – Tag Team Match
Dolph Ziggler & Ken Doane vs. Money Inc.
You know the story. Or at least you should know the story at this point. Both DH Smith and Cody Rhodes are talented second-generation superstars but they’re clearly missing a little something that stops the two youngsters from taking it to the highest possible level.
They keep up with the talented Doane and Ziggler, especially since the two former Spirit Squad members don’t seem to be communicating as well as they had before last night the last couple of times that they’ve tagged.
The finish sees Doane and Cody spill to the outside, right alongside the Million Dollar Man, while inside the ring, Smith avoids a clothesline, gets behind him, and then nails the ZIG ZAG, picking up the three count!!!
Winner: Dolph Ziggler & Ken Doane via pin fall at 7:01.
DiBiase KICKS the steps, PISSED as Ziggler rolls off of Smith, and quickly exits the ring. Doane soon follows as Cody climbs into the ring.
Another rough loss for Money Inc.
The Million Dollar Man doesn’t look pleased.
Nor should he be. I doubt this is what he was expecting when he took these two youngsters under his wing.
DiBiase gets in the ring… and SHOVES Smith!!
The crowd “oohs” and “ahs” as The Million Dollar Man begins to BERATE him, showing an anger and intensity we haven’t seen from the former King of the Ring winner. The youngster holds a hand up, acknowledging that he’s to blame for the loss tonight…
But DiBiase SHOVES him again!!
This time, DH doesn’t take it as well, putting his hands on his hips, frustrated, annoyed, while DiBiase continues to scream and holler.
DiBiase then rears back… and looks to SLAP SMITH…
BUT SMITH GRABS HIS HAND!!!
The crowd pops as Smith gets into a nervous DiBiase’s face, telling him to back off –
BUT CODY COMES FROM UP BEHIND SMITH –
AND NAILS THE CROSS RHODES ON SMITH!!!!
What the hell was that!?!?!
What do you mean, J.R.? Smith keeps costing them matches!!
But you don’t do this??
DiBiase pats Cody on the back, and then stands over Smith – and SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE!!! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!!
Alright, that’s enough!! Disrespectful from the Million Dollar Man here!! If you don’t wanna deal with the kid anymore, fine!! But this is just too much!!!
DiBiase then says something to Rhodes, and the two take their leave from the ring, heading back up the ramp, as Smith lies out in the ring.
Replay of what happened at the start of the night with Cena being speared by Edge, and then attacked by Edge’s clones before Jeff Hardy made the save. We then get a graphic for the six man tag team main event tonight with John Cena, JBL and Jeff Hardy taking on the WWE Champion Edge and his new Edgeheads.
BACKSTAGE – INTERVIEW AREA
Todd Grisham stands by with JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD, who’s in his arm up gear, giant white hat on.
Make this quick, son.
JBL, last night, you… lost the WWE Championship inside the Elimination Chamber—
I’m aware. Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Get to the point.
Layfield is clearly PISSED.
Tonight, you’re in a six man tag match with the current champion, Edge, the man who eliminated you last night, John Cena—
JBL: What’s the point
What are your plans—
Win. Next question.
Would you have retained the WWE Title last night if your manager, Angelina Williams—
JBL storms off…
…leaving Grisham to look stupid…
Don’t just stand there looking stupid.
Grisham turns… as the Intercontinental Champion CHRISTOPHER DANIELS and ALLISON DANGER approach to big heat from the crowd.
Danger carries Daniels Intercontinental Title, while The Fallen Angel is dressed in a dapper gray suit and shades.
I know you can’t help being stupid, but you can help looking it. The fact of the matter is this interview with JBL should’ve never have been conducted. Neither should interviews with MVP, AMW, Ken Doane, John Cena, Lita or Dolph Ziggler.
Daniels takes his shades off, handing them to Allison. The Fallen Angel takes the microphone from Grisham, and looks to the camera.
For those of you who are absolutely broke or disgustingly cheap, those are just some of the many losers from last night’s Armageddon pay per view. Last night, there were many losers and a few winners, but everyone who ordered Armageddon won last night, because they got to see The Fallen Angel put on a classic.
Smarks pop. Crowd boos.
Dolph Ziggler managed to hang tough with Christopher Daniels – mainly because I was fighting the flu, a strained back, a slightly tweaked vertebrae and my dog died a few minutes prior
– but in the end, it was The Fallen Angel who pulled out the victory and retained the most prestigious championship in the WWE, the one the gorgeous Allison Danger is holding right now, MY Intercontinental Championship.
Danger holds it up. Crowd boos.
But I’m not being interviewed tonight. I didn’t open the show. I was given a spot at the top of the second hour. I’m not closing the show. I don’t even have a match. But that’s fair enough… I have something much better.
Y’see… I am the first man to be named to the thirty man Royal Rumble Match.
And what that means is on January 27th, in front of twenty thousand fans in New York City – Madison Square Garden, the World’s Most Famous Arena – “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels is gonna take twenty nine other superstars – fourteen from RAW, fifteen from SmackDown, and throw them all over the top rope and to the floor – both feet. “There goes Batista! There goes MVP! There goes JBL! There goes Triple H! There goes whoever!” Until finally, there’s only one man standing… me.
And when it’s all said and done, I win the Royal Rumble and I head to WrestleMania 24, and I capture my first World Championship in this anti-Fallen Angel company. And after Vince McMahon, John Laurainitis and Kevin Dunn all have simultaneous heart attacks, the mission is complete.
Daniels smirks, taking his shades from Danger. He places them on his face… and then gets serious once more.
And THAT… is the gospel according to The Fallen Angel.
Daniels drops the mic, and the IC Champion walks off with Allison…
BACKSTAGE – HALLWAY
DOLPH ZIGGLER chats up a couple of new WWE Divas, THE BELLAS… when KEN DOANE walks up to him.
Hey… Ken… what’s going on?
The two shake hands.
You took off so quickly after the match, I didn’t get a chance to talk to ya.
Oh… okay… so what’s up? I’m kinda busy here, if you know what I’m saying.
Ziggler winks at the girls, and the twins laugh.
Those tag team titles. I just talked to Coachman. He said the division is wide open. And if we want it, we can have a number one contender’s match with AMW next week.
Ziggler takes a deep breath.
Look… Kenny… I like ya a lot, and I appreciate the thought – I really do… but… I’m on fire, man. I’m on a roll. Did you see Armageddon, bro?? The ladies saw Armageddon.
Yes, we did.
You were amazing, Dolph.
I was amazing
Kenny raises his eyebrows.
I had the match of the night. I took Christopher Daniels to the limit. I was this close (motions with fingers)
, this close
to becoming the Intercontinental Champion. I am the man right now, Kenny. My stock hasn’t ever been higher… and I’m just getting started. You… on the other hand… lost your match in under two minutes…
One minute and nineteen seconds.
That’s not good.
Doane is getting pissed. He should be.
Ziggler wraps his arms around the Bellas.
But no thanks.
Dolph and the girls walk off… leaving Ken Doane alone…
BACK TO RINGSIDE
***TIME TO ROCK ‘N’ ROLL***
The crowd gives a strong amount of heat as the new Divas Champion TRISH STRATUS, NATALYA NEIDHART and BETH PHOENIX step out onto the stage. Trish wears a gigantic smile, with her new title belt strapped around her gorgeous waist.
4 – Six Woman Tag Team Match
Divas Champion Trish Stratus, Natalya Neidhart & Beth Phoenix vs. Gail Kim, Eve Torres & Alicia Fox
The New Divas Champion spends most of her night on the sidelines, allowing both Natalya and Phoenix to do most of the work. When the two rookies, Eve and Alicia are in the ring, the two divas dominate – particularly Torres, who gets worked over for the majority of the match up.
Eventually the hot tags are made to Trish and Gail Kim, and the former Women’s Champion, Kim, kicks all kinds of ass, taking Stratus down with a numerous amount of hurricanranas and head scissors takedowns.
She eventually goes to the top, and looks for a CROSS BODY – but Phoenix leaps in the way, CATCHING GAIL KIM – BEFORE SHE POWERSLAMS HER!!
Eve and Alicia try to help out, but they’re both CLOTHESLINED to the canvas, and roll out of the ring. The ref urges Phoenix to leave and she does, allowing Trish to pick Kim up and hit the STRATUSFACTION, before she rolls Gail over and covers her for the three count.
Winner: Trish Stratus, Natalya Neidhart & Beth Phoenix via pin fall at 6:22.
Trish is immediately handed her Divas Championship, and she raises it above her head to heat, as if she’s accomplished a great feat.
What a win for our new Divas Champion!!
What a win?? Beth Phoenix did all the work!
There’s no “I” in “team,” J.R.
Beth, Trish and Nattie hug it out, while Eve and Alicia check on Gail Kim.
BACKSTAGE – HALLWAY
KURT ANGLE is leaving the building. He’s dressed for the cold that waits outside, and has his bag over his shoulder. The Wrestling Machine waves to a couple of people standing by… until he comes across “THE AMERICAN DRAGON” DANIEL BRYAN.
Angle lets out a smile… though it’s not a pleasant one.
You’re making a habit of getting in my face.
I’m a fan. You’re one of the best to ever do it… THE best… or… at least you were.
Angle shakes his head, letting out a smirk.
Did you see what I did earlier?
Yeah… six and a half minutes. Impressive.
Angle stares Bryan down for a bit… before he decides to walk past him.
I mean… I won mine in four and a half.
Angle turns around to face Bryan.
But who’s counting??
The Dragon smirks. The Wrestling Machine isn’t pleased.
Have a good night. See you in the Rumble.
Bryan takes his leave, walking off… leaving Kurt to sit and stew… anger coming across the face of the Olympian.
BACKSTAGE – GENERAL MANAGER’S OFFICE
JONATHAN COACHMAN stands in front of his two assistants, MATT STRIKER and JILLIAN HALL. Coach chats up his assistants… but that all stops…
…when JOHN CENA steps into the office. Coach looks at Cena… and then turns back to his assistants.
Give us a second, guys.
Jillian and Striker give Coach and Cena their privacy, and once they exit the room, Coach turns to The Boss.
John, my man, what’s going on?
Coach looks to give Cena a pound, but The Boss isn’t in mood… so Coach puts his hand down.
What’s going on with The Rock?
The Rock’s not here.
So, I’ve heard… but what’s the deal?
As far as I can tell, The Rock is sticking to his word. He said he would retire if he didn’t leave with the WWE Title last night, and as you know – thanks to you – he did not. I haven’t gotten word yet, but I expect that he’ll be sending in his retirement papers to WWE Headquarters within the next couple of weeks.
Cena scowls. The Boss takes himself a deep breath.
I can not let this pass, Coach.
John, you’re in the WWE Title picture. You’re in the ring with the WWE Champion tonight. You eliminated three people in the Elimination Chamber last night. John… this thing with The Rock… let it go.
Cena’s head drops.
The Rock isn’t coming back. The Rock is a movie star. The Rock is one of the biggest stars in the world. He doesn’t need YOU. He doesn't need THIS.
Cena raises his head.
You sound like a bitch, Coach.
Coach recoils in offense.
Just get me The Rock.
The Boss storms out the office as if he’s the boss, and just gave an order to one of his minions. Coachman shakes his head.
BACK TO RINGSIDE
5 – Singles Match
Paul London vs. James Storm
The two tag team wrestlers put on a solid contest, with the champion using his speed and quickness advantage against the former tag champion, while Kendrick and The Wildcat watch from the outside in their respective partners corners.
After a long period of even-steven competing, London gets Storm down and goes to the top, looking for the SHOOTING STAR PRESS – but The Cowboy moves, and London CRASHES and BURNS!! Both men get back up to their feet and Storm nails him with a SUPERKICK!! He covers London, but only gets a two count!
Storm grabs London and brings him back up to a vertical base before the tucks him between his legs. Storm then looks to lift London into Crucifix Position – but LONDON ROLLS THROUGH – into a cover… but Storm kicks out at two! Both men get up once more, and London throws a sidekick – but Storm ducks it, and rolls London up into a SMALL PACKAGE!! 1… 2… (Storm reaches his hand out, and Harris grabs a hold of it)… THREE!!!
Winner: James Storm via pin fall at 6:55.
Storm quickly rolls out of the ring, and joins his AMW teammate. Harris and Storm hug it out, while Kendrick gets into the ring, yelling at the referee.
AMW… James Storm… got one over here.
They cheated, J.R.! Say it! They cheated! AMW cheated The Hooligans out of this match up tonight!
They did do that. No denying that one. AMW perhaps getting a little desperate after failing to capture the titles last night.
AMW raise their hands into the air at the top of the ramp, getting a mixed reaction, while the World Tag Team Champions look on from the ring.
The World Heavyweight Championship…
The WWE Title!
This is WrestleMania!!!!
And the only way to get there is to take twenty nine other men and toss them over the top rope!!!
The winner gets their shot at the granddaddy of them all
Fade up from black to:
Ric Flair eliminates Sid Justice with Hulk Hogan’s assistance in 1992.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I told you, Monsoon!!
Shawn Michaels superkicks Diesel over the top in 1996.
I can’t believe it! Two years in a row! That’s impossible!
Stone Cold Steve Austin stuns The Rock and then tosses him over the top rope in 1998.
STONE COLD!! STONE COLD!!! STONE COLD!!!! IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIAAA!!!
The Rock tosses The Big Show out in 2000.
The Rock! The Rock has won the Rumble!!
Triple H clothesline Kurt Angle out in 2002.
The Game! The Game has done it!!!
Batista eliminates Cena in 2005.
Batista eliminates Cena! It was not without controversy! But bah God, we know now who’s headed to the main event of WrestleMania!
And in 2007, Mr. Kennedy yanks down the top rope, last eliminating Kurt Angle.
Mr. Kennedy has done it!!! 29 WWE Superstars and it’s the fastest rising superstar in the WWE who wins this tremendous, star studded event!!
This is the Royal Rumble!!!!
Welcome back to Monday Night RAW, we’re just about ready for our main event. But last night at Armageddon –
Still shots of the RVD/MVP Extreme Rules Match.
Rob Van Dam and MVP put on a hell of a contest at Armageddon, in which Mr. Monday Night picked up the victory. Surprisingly, RVD may have won the battle but lost the war. RVD has got himself a strained shoulder, and should be out for a couple of weeks.
Mr. Hardcore is out because of a shoulder?? That’s not very extreme, J.R.
When was the last Hardcore Match you’ve had, King??
MVP is obviously not here tonight, but he will be here next week. Montel will be hosting his VIP Lounge… with the new Divas Champion Trish Stratus.
Yoohoo!!! Porter, Playgirls and puppies, J.R.!!
I don’t know if that’s anyway to talk about our new Divas Champion, King, but the self-proclaimed Queen of Queens will be on the VIP Lounge next week on RAW.
MAJOR HEAT rings out as “THE RATED R SUPERSTAR” EDGE, the WWE Champion, and his RATED R ARMY consisting of LITA and the EDGEHEADS make their way to the ring.
It’s main event time, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. Coming up next, the new WWE Champion “The Rated R Superstar” Edge teams up with his Edgeheads to take on “The Wrestling God” JBL, the “Extreme Enigma” Jeff Hardy and “The Boss” John Cena!!
What a main event, J.R.!
And it’s next!!
The Edgeheads each take a turnbuckle, with Edge taking the ropes in between, while Lita cheers them on.
Edge and company wait in the ring…
The crowd EXPLODES as “THE EXTREME ENIGMA” JEFF HARDY steps out onto the stage, doing his usual spiel, makeup on his face.
Jeff Hardy gave us one hell of a performance in the Elimination Chamber last night, but he came up short. Lord knows he’s not done with The Rated R Superstar, however.
Edge and Jeff go back almost a decade, J.R., and their hatred for one another has done nothing but increase over the years.
Jeff waits at the bottom of the ramp…
A strong pop greets JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD, whom walks through the curtain, scowl on his face, without Angelina Williams.
The former WWE Champion, JBL has been in a foul mood all night, and one has to wonder if the circumstances with which he lost the title have helped or hurt The Wrestling God’s feelings in losing the title.
You mean the Chamber or Angelina, J.R.?
JBL joins Hardy at the bottom of the ramp…
***MY TIME IS NOW***
A THUNDEROUS RESPONSE for the music of JOHN CENA, as The Boss storms out onto the stage, ready to go.
Earlier tonight, John Cena made his intentions known. He wants The Rock, and he wants The Rock at all costs.
But The Rock has retired, J.R., and when Edge pointed that out, Cena got an attitude.
I don’t know if that’s quite how it happened, but they’ll all get a chance to settle it right here and now.
Cena gets a head of steam and SPRINTS toward the ring, sliding in, soon joined by Jeff and JBL!
6 – Main Event
Six Man Tag Team Match
WWE Champion Edge & the Edgeheads vs. John Cena, Jeff Hardy & JBL
The brawl is immediately on, with Cena, Jeff and JBL coming out swinging, catching Edge and his two new members of the Rated R Army off guard. The champion, Ryder and Hawkins swing back, but the onslaught of the three main eventers is just too much, and Edge & company are dumped out of the ring!
As the crowd cheers, Cena, Layfield and Jeff don’t let up, following the heels to the outside. Cena is matched up with Edge, while Jeff and JBL each take an Edgehead. Cena grabs the head of the champion and SLAMS it against the STEEL STEPS, before he rolls him back into the ring. The Boss slides back in, and stomps away on Edge a couple of times as Layfield, Hardy, and the Edgeheads all take their respective places on the apron. Cena lifts Edge up to his feet, and nails a FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX, before he floats over into a cover, getting a two count!
The Boss lifts the champion up, drags him to the corner, and slams his head against the turnbuckle a couple of times, before he tags in JBL! Layfield comes in, and he is not happy in the least, LAYING INTO EDGE with hard right hands, over and over and over again, until the referee has to forcefully remove him from the champion. The Wall Street Warrior has a few harsh words for the referee, and then looks to go back to Edge… but The Rated R Superstar hits a THUMB TO THE EYE!!
As JBL staggers around the ring, clutching at his eye, the crowd boos the WWE Champion who’s smirking. The WWE Champion then grabs a hold of JBL, and throws Layfield into the STEEL TURN POST SHOULDER FIRST!!! Layfield’s shoulder hits it with a thud, and he slumps down onto the apron, eventually falling down to the floor in Edge’s corner.
The Rated R Superstar gets into the referee’s face, acting as a distraction as his two Edgeheads leap off of the apron, and begin to STOMP away on the former WWE Champion, kicking the crap out of JBL! Cena and Hardy yell at the referee to turn his “dumb ass around” (courtesy of The Boss) as we fade to…
Back from the break, Edge and his crew utilize quick tags in and out to keep John Bradshaw Layfield in their corner and away from his partners. JBL does his part to keep himself in it, occasionally hitting the champion or his cronies with a big move, but each and every time he gets close, the champion’s corner cut off the ring, stopping JBL’s momentum in his tracks.
Eventually, however, The Wrestling God does make the tag to Jeff Hardy, who comes in ablaze, with the crowd firmly on his side. Hardy comes in and immediately takes down the legal man, Edge, with a clothesline!
Ryder and Hawkins enter the ring, and Jeff throws Ryder from the ring, as Hawkins knees him in the gut. Hawkins then looks to shoot Hardy into the ropes, but Jeff spins out of it, and nails a JAWBREAKER, staggering him! Jeff then gets up and charges forward, clotheslining Hawkins out of the ring!!
Jeff turns around, and Edge kicks him in the gut, before he GOES FOR THE EDGECUTION – BUT JEFF COUNTERS INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!! WITH A BRIDGE!!! 1… 2… NO! Ryder and Hawkins break it up!!!
JBL and John Cena enter the ring, completely ignoring the orders of the referee. The Boss and The Wrestling God hammer away on the Edgeheads, tossing them out the ring, before they follow them out.
Jeff and Edge get back up, and Hardy throws a right hand, but Edge ducks it, kicks The Extreme Enigma in the gut, and goes for the EDGECUTION – PLANTING JEFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!
The Rated R Superstar gets back up to his feet, smirk on his face, as he’s roundly booed by the sold out crowd. As Cena and Layfield brawl with Hawkins and Ryder on the outside, the WWE Champion strolls over to the corner, and sits in it, waiting for Jeff to get up. Jeff slowly but surely gets up to his feet, and Edge charges – GOING FOR THE SPEAR – but Jeff moves out of the way!!
The Rated R Superstar turns around, and Jeff kicks him in the gut – GOING FOR THE TWIST OF FATE – AND HITS IT, PLANTING EDGE!!!
The crowd ROARS for the ever popular Hardy, as he climbs out onto the apron and then to the top turnbuckle. Jeff then steadies himself, possibly looking for THE SWANTON –
BUT JOHN MORRISON HAS LEAPED OVER THE FAN BARRICADE!!!
JoMo then leaps up onto the apron, and SHOVES JEFF OFF – CAUSING HARDY TO CRASH AND BURN TO THE CANVAS!!!
As The Guru of Greatness smirks as he leaps off the apron, and leaps back over the fan barricade, through the crowd. Jeff staggers back up to his feet, clearly a bit out of it, before he turns around – AND GETS SPEARED IN HALF BY THE RATED R SUPERSTAR!!!! Edge then covers Jeff and gets the three count!!!
Winner: Edge & the Edgeheads via pin fall at 14:11.
The Rated R Superstar rolls out of the ring, yelling at Lita to grab his WWE Championship. The Edgeheads take a couple of more shots from Cena and Layfield, before they retreat, heading toward their leader.
The new WWE Champion and his comrades pick up the victory here tonight – but it is not without help from John Morrison.
The Guru of Greatness definitely made his presence felt tonight, J.R.
Ya damn right here did, but you have to wonder why. To me this doesn’t make any sense at all.
Lita brings Edge his championship, and he wraps his arm around his girlfriend, raising his title into the air with his other hand, while JBL climbs back into the ring. The Wrestling God angrily glares at Edge, who holds the belt he held twenty four hours ago, while Cena watches, hands on his hips at ringside.
But what we do know is this: Edge is the new champion, and The Rated R Superstar has got himself a whole lot of help very, very fast.
When you’re the champion, everybody wants to be near you.
I know John Cena wants to be near him. I know JBL wants to be near Edge, but I don’t think its for the same reasons. Edge now wears the bull’s-eye on his back as we head to the Royal Rumble! Can the Rated R Champion survive the heat??
Edge and his crew celebrate at the top of the ramp as The Boss and The Wrestling God watch on.
END OF SHOW
January 27, 2008
Madison Square Garden - New York, New York
Thirty Man Royal Rumble Match:
Intercontinental Champion Christopher Daniels & 14 Other Superstars from RAW; 15 Superstars from SmackDown
The Winner Receives a World Championship Match at WrestleMania 24
RR Poster Credit: The Phenom_Taker