Raw; February 12th; Hershey:
Highlights package from Saturday Nights Main Event, where John Cena and Christian overcame the McMahon Family Empire in a 5 on 2 contest, which meant Vince had to accept a forfeit … and had his head shaved … BALD!!!
MNM enter the arena, again joined by Santino Marella, opening the show.
The Road to WrestleMania is in high gear, with less than five weeks until the Granddaddy of ‘em all, for the first time ever, in New Orleans, Louisiana, in front of over 70,000 fans in the Superdome. And Coach, who knows, maybe for the first time ever tonight, MNM will actually defend those tag team titles against Straight Edge.
You’ll find they did that last week J.R, and Straight Edge got themselves disqualified!!!
You‘ve gotta be kiddin me Coach!! We all know that Marella attacked Mercury to save his ass!!!
Potayto, potaato. The fact remains, MNM won last week, and my sources tell me that both Mercury and Nitro are at 100% tonight.
Well, they better be Coach, because they have a heck of a fight on their hands tonight!!!
CM Punk & Greg Helms AKA Straight Edge, enter to a great ovation, as they look to finally get their hands on the World Tag Team Championships.
What a way to start Raw!!! The World Tag Team titles on the line, in this eagerly anticipated match up, and later tonight, six men will do battle in a one fall contest, where the winner will advance to WrestleMania, and claim that final spot from Raw in the Money in the Bank ladder match. Garrison Cade, Nick Dinsmore, Tyson Tomko, Shelton Benjamin, Booker T & Elijah Burke!!
And that’s not all, because Paul London from Smackdown has made the journey to Raw, for one night only, to take on Randy Orton. Both men collided at Saturday Nights Main Event, and they’ll go one on one tonight!!!
So much more too Coach. We haven’t even mentioned that John Cena & Christian, two days removed from Saturday Nights Main Event, will be forced to team up once again, this time against The Brotherhood!! And not only that, but tonight, the CEO is set to arrive, and deliver the verdict to Triple H. Does The Game have a title shot?? Or is the WrestleMania main event set in stone??
The Game has GOT to get his rematch J.R. He just has to!!
But the biggest news of all … the boss will also appear tonight … HAIRLESS!!! Mr. McMahon will bare his big bald head to the world!!!
1st Match: WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS MATCH:
MNM w/Melina & Santino Marella vs. Straight Edge
Finally after weeks of excuses, and runaways, these two teams DO have a proper match!!! And it doesn’t disappoint. The two sides take a couple of minutes to feel each other out, before Helms ups the pace, and takes it to Nitro, getting the challengers in control, with Straight Edge slipping in and out with tags, keeping fresh, but MNM prove they are no slouches, and show the challengers why they have been champions for nearly eight months, taking back the control, and isolating Punk as we go into a commercial.
We return with Punk caught in a body scissors at the hands on Nitro, with Helms pounding the mat, getting the fans to stir Punk on, and will him on, which they do, and it does help Punk, with the Straight Edge superstar fighting out of the hold, and looking to make a hot tag … BUT MELINA PULLS HELMS OFF THE APRON, AND PUNK MISSES THE TAG!!! Punk fights off Nitro, and knocks Marella off the apron, LANDING ON MELINA!!! Punk then looks for a second time to tag in his partner as he gets back to the apron, reaching out … BUT MERCURY PULLS PUNK BACK INTO THE CENTRE … ONLY TO GET AN ENZIGURI FOR HIS TROUBLES!!! Punk leaps across … AND TAGS HELMS!!!!!
Greg Helms dashes into the ring, and knocks down Nitro, then Mercury, before throwing Joey out of the ring, KNOCKING MELINA AND MARELLA BACK DOWN!!! Helms looks to hit the Nightmare on Helms street to Nitro, but he fights out … and looks for a super kick … BUT MISSES … AND GETS CAUGHT WITH THE SHINING WIZARD!!! Helms hooks the leg, 1...2...MERCURY PULLS NITRO OUT OF THE RING!!!
The match was won, but Mercury saves his partner!!! Punk has seen enough, and together with Helms, they charge across the ring … AND DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE ON NITRO AND MERCURY!!!!! The referee counts the two teams out, as they slowly get back to their feet. Punk whips Marella into the steps, getting rid of that pest, before he and Helms throw Nitro back inside, and as Helms looks to join him … MERCURY AND MELINA GRAB HIS LEGS … STOPPING HIM FROM GETTING BACK INSIDE!!! Punk stomps Mercury, getting him to release his grip, and Helms shakes off Melina, and gets back inside … BUT HE’S BEEN COUNTED OUT!!!
Winners: Via Count Out - And STILL World Tag Team Champions - MNM @ 09:25
MNM find another way to cheat a victory!!! Punk joins Helms in the ring, as Nitro rolls out, and MNM scarper, with a dishevelled Marella, hoisting the tag team title belts aloft, whilst Straight Edge are livid in the ring.
Two weeks running J.R!!! Two weeks runnin MNM have beaten your boys!!! Straight Edge aren’t in MNM’s league, LIVE WITH IT!!!
Please tell me you’re kidding Coach. Please tell me you don’t actually believe what you’re saying?? For the second straight week, Straight Edge have had MNM beat!!! And two weeks running, MNM have manipulated themselves a win.
The fact is though, MNM 2, Straight Edge 0!!!
We quickly switch backstage, and see Linda McMahon, walking … WITH A PURPOSE~!!
1ST TIME WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT - X8 - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN WOULD MEET THE ROCK, ONE ON ONE, IN A MATCH FOR THE AGES, WHICH THE ROCK WOULD WIN, IN A PASSING OF THE TORCH.
The VP then ends with the graphic for WRESTLEMANIA XXIII - MARCH 18TH 2007 - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN NEW ORLEANS … AND YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST TIME!!
**KING OF KINGS**WRESTLEMANIA COUNTDOWN - 34 DAYS TO GO
Triple H enters the arena to a mammoth heel response, with the hot crowd giving HHH as much abuse as possible. The attention though quickly focuses as Mr. McMahon enters … AND … he has a full head of hair???!!! J.R and Coach cant believe it, although Coach is overjoyed at seeing the chairman with hair. J.R of course, instantly decides it’s a wig, as the five piece group enter the ring. Vince is the first to take a mic, and is first to have his say…
Mr. McMahon: Please, don’t adjust your television sets. Indeed, on Saturday Night, I had my head SHAVED BALD!!!
Pop from the fans. McMahon though, raises a finger, looking to stop the fans.
Mr. McMahon: But lo and behold … on Sunday morning … A MIRACLE HAPPENED!!!
Heat from the fans, followed by a ‘BULLSHIT’ chant.
Mr. McMahon: Look at me!!! In one night, I went from being as bald as a coot … to having a beautiful head of hair!!!
The ‘BULLSHIT’ chant grows, as McMahon gets angry.
Mr. McMahon: Hey. A- … SHADDUP!!!
McMahons reaction only helps to fuel the crowd on more, by lifting their chant higher.
Mr. McMahon: All of you folically challenged people out there should be hailing me!!! I’ve cured baldness!!!
McMahon gets increasingly frustrated as the fans refuse to obey his demands.
Mr. McMahon: So you don’t wanna know my secret??
Still, the fans don’t bow to McMahons request for respect. He looks around, and points out a balding fat ass in the front row, speaking directly to him.
Mr. McMahon: You!!! You don’t want to feel your fingers run through your own hair again??
The balding fat ass shakes his head, and almost comically, turns his back to the ring, and gets a pop from the fans, OWNING McMahon!!
Mr. McMahon: That’s fine. I’m wasting my time here anyway. All you people care about in this town is Chocolate. Who gives a crap about a medical breakthrough, when we’ve got Hersheys Chocolate!!!
Heat from the fans, as Vince listens, taking in their abuse.
Mr. McMahon: All around the world, people will be watching this. And they’ll all be thinking the same thing. Hershey has just robbed the ENTIRE world, the cure for baldness. They’ll no doubt now be thinking now … every time they think about Hershey … they’ll instantly think … morons.
The fans respond with more heat for McMahon.
Mr. McMahon: You people are a disgrace to your town, a disgrace to the great state of Pennsylvania, and most of all … an embarrassment to the United States of America!!!
Ohhhhhh. It’s big time heat. CHEAP HEAT for McMahon!! He shakes his head in disgust, as he passes the mic to Triple H.
Triple H: No offence Vince, but your cure for baldness?? It’s the last thing on my mind.
Mixed response for The Game on that comment, whilst Vince raises his eyebrows in surprise … then fixes his wig a little.
Triple H: In fact, the only thing on my mind?? Is getting my rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Triple H instantly turns his attention to the entrance way, hoping to see Linda enter.
Triple H: Linda, I know you’re here, I know the board have made their decision. What’s it to be?? Do I get my rematch?? Or am I included in the WrestleMania main event??
Small boos for that question.
Triple H: I think I made my argument pretty much decisively last week. I don’t need to go through it again. C’mon Linda, don’t leave me waiting here all night…
**RETRO WRESTLEMANIA THEME**
Linda McMahon steps through the curtain, and gets a nice pop from the fans. She walks down the aisle, making her way to the ring, deciding to do this face to face, rather than from afar.
The Game smiles, and opens the ropes for the CEO, with Linda obliging, stepping into the ring, and is met with a hug from Shane, and then Stephanie. Linda finally pulls away, looking uncomfortable, and Vince moves forward to hug his wife, but she stops him!!! She lays down the law to Vince, telling him to save it, as she makes her way across the ring, taking a mic from Lillian Garcia. The music dies down, allowing her to speak.
Linda McMahon: Well, thank you for your applause Hershey. I promise I’ll not take too long.
Cheer for Linda, as Triple H eagerly waits to hear the verdict.
Linda McMahon: So lets get down to business.
Triple H smiles, and nods, mouthing ‘lets’.
Linda McMahon: Triple H, last week, you lodged an appeal to the WWE Board of directors concerning your right to a rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship. O-
Boos from the fans, not wanting The Game to get another shot.
Linda McMahon: Over the last eight days, the WWE board have been meeting constantly, each day, discussing your right to a rematch. On Friday evening, after five days of discussion, we were unable to come to a unanimous decision. We reconv-
Triple H interrupts.
Triple H: Whoa, hold on there a second. What do you mean, you couldn’t come to a unanimous decision?? What was there to discuss Linda??
Linda GLARES at Triple H, furious that he just interrupted her.
Linda McMahon: That’s a fair point, but before I answer it, I’d like to remind you that I’m not one of your peers Hunter, I’m the CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, and I don’t appreciate being interrupted.
Cheer for Linda, laying the law to Triple H.
Linda McMahon: You see, the main point of discussion, the main argument between the board was whether your loss warranted a rematch.
Triple H gets set to talk again, but Linda stops him.
Linda McMahon: Ah, ah, ah, ah. Remember what I said. … You see, the board have been split. And reason that some have been against a rematch, or alternatively, you being added to the World Heavyweight Championship Match at WrestleMania, is simply that had it not been for some underhanded … sneaky … and even darn right lucky victories against both John Cena and Christian, you’d never have BEEN World Heavyweight Champion, let alone, retain that title, twice, under shady circumstances, against John Cena.
Cheers from the fans.
Linda McMahon: And you did yourself no favours either when you took on John Cena, on your own, at SuperBrawl in the sixty minute Iron Man Match. A match that you called, and I quote, ‘your type of match’ … and lost.
Pop from the fans as Triple H starts to slowly shake his head.
Linda McMahon: After months of relying on others to help you out and winning, then losing the one night you go out alone, it doesn’t help your case. Sure, as a losing champion in such a close run contest, there is still an argument there that you should be entitled to a rematch … but as I said, the board haven’t been able to reach an agreement.
Triple H starts whispering to Vince, looking concerned.
Linda McMahon: And, as I was saying … on Friday, we failed to reach an agreement. On Saturday, we reconvened, and again, were unable to find a unanimous decision. Therefore yesterday, all sixteen members of the board met again, and after we once again failed to reach a unanimous verdict, it was decided that a majority vote would decide the outcome.
The fans expectation starts to build, as we get a quick shot of the backstage area with a split screen of John Cena and Christian backstage watching the in ring announcement.
Linda McMahon: And the result, is as follows … the WWE board of directors, having failed to reach a unanimous decision regarding Triple H’s appeal for a World Championship rematch have voted … 12 votes to 4 … in favour …
Dramatic pause, as some fans boo, taking too much from the ‘in favour’ bit.
Linda McMahon: … of NOT awarding Triple H a World Heavyweight Championship rematch, nor a place in the WrestleMania 23 main event.
The fans go ape shit!!! Triple H goes berserk!!! Stephanies face drops, whilst Vince and Shane look to each other, dismayed by the decision. The WrestleMania main event is now OFFICIAL!!!
Linda McMahon: Thank you for your time, good night.
**RETRO WRESTLEMANIA** hits again, and Linda exit’s the ring, with Triple H throwing a fit, kicking the ropes, ripping off his jacket and shirt, absolutely livid that he is OUT of the WrestleMania championship picture. The McMahons try to settle The Game down, hoping to calm him in someway, as Linda makes her way out, not even bothering to look back.
Jim Ross: It is official folks, mark your diaries, remember the day, Sunday, March 18, Louisiana Superdome, John Cena versus Christian, for the World Heavyweight Championship - IS ON!!!
The Coach: This is a travesty J.R!!! This is a damn travesty!!! That man earned the spot at WrestleMania!!! This just isn’t fair!!!
Jim Ross: And hey, McMahon better keep calm too, hey Coach?? We wouldn’t want him pulling that hair out now would we??
The Coach: You aren’t funny!! This isn’t a time for joking J.R!! This is serious!!
Jim Ross: Oh, you’ve gotta look on the bright side Coach. And it’s looking pretty rosy from where I’m sitting right now. And if we can get the very angry Triple H out of the ring, who has just suffered a taste of his own medicine by the way, when we come back, six men will compete, and the winner of a sudden death fall will be headed to WrestleMania, as part of the Money in the Bank ladder match!!!
We return from the commercial, with Tyson Tomko and Shelton Benjamin already in the ring, with Cade & Dinsmore entering together on their way to the ring.
**CAN YOU DIG IT?? SUCKAAAAA**
Booker T & Elijah Burke also enter together, but are set to compete separately, with both men eyeing a place in the MITB Ladder Match.
Jim Ross: Welcome back to Monday night Raw, we are just moments away from a one fall, sudden death six man contest, every man for himself, and the winner will be heading to New Orleans on March 18 to be a part of the 8 Man Money in the Bank ladder match. Five have been confirmed already - Finlay, Umaga and Randy Orton, M.V.P, and Paul London!!! It’s a highly interesting line up, featuring a former world champion, a rookie, a veteran, a bulldozer and arguably the most exciting prospect in the WWE in Paul London.
The Coach: And they could well be joined by another former world champion in Booker T, or another rookie in Elijah Burke. Interesting mesh of talent J.R. This Money in the Bank sequel could well top the first attempt!!!
2nd Match: MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING MATCH:
Tyson Tomko vs. Shelton Benjamin w/Theodore Long vs. Nick Dinsmore vs. Garrison Cade vs. Booker T vs. Elijah Burke
Real clusterfuck of a contest, with all six men in action at the same time throughout, creating a big mess, with lots of attempted covers being broken up before a count can be made. There are a few highlights, with Shelton Benjamin leaping over the ropes, onto all five opponents, and Burke then following Benjamins lead, splashing from the top rope to the outside onto the rest of the field. Dinsmore and Cade, already being aligned in the New Wave start to work together, and take out the competition, leaving it down to them for a short period, but neither man is able to gain a clear advantage, with both knowing the other too well. Cade scurries to the ropes to stuff Dinsmores attempt at the Cloverleaf, whilst Dinsmore is able to slide off the Razors Edge, having it scouted well too.
Eventually, the rest of the field get back into the match, rendering the New Waves earlier alliance useless. Now though, Booker T & Elijah Burke follow the example of the New Wave, and team together, which allows them to battle it out one on one, but just like with Cade & Dinsmore, they know each other too well, with Booker looking impressed that his protégé has come on well so quickly to hold his own against a veteran of his calibre. Again, the remainder of the field recover, and the match breaks down, with the finish looming near.
Cade blocks a T-Bone attempt from Benjamin, and takes over on him, HITTING THE RAZORS EDGE!!! He covers, 1...2...BROKEN BY DINSMORE!!! Cade and Dinsmore now don’t look to have such a friendly rivalry, and Dinsmores action lead to the two men brawling out of the ring, and out of the equation. Meanwhile, on the outside, Tomko finishes Burkes chances of victory tonight with a sick big boot, turning the rookie inside out!!! He and Booker then take it inside, with Tomko blocking, then fighting out of the Book End, before missing the big boot, AND GETS NAILED WITH A SCISSORS KICK!!! Booker thinks he has it won, but is distracted by Theodore on the apron, chasing him off, and turning around … INTO THE T-BONE EXPLODER!!!! Benjamin comes from nowhere, and hooks the leg, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: Shelton Benjamin @ 07:55
The Black Diamond is headed to Money in the Bank!!!!! Shelton Benjamin takes the final spot from the four offered on Raw, and now has the opportunity to earn The Brotherhood their first ever attempt at the World Heavyweight Title!!! Shelton leaves the ring, and rejoices with his mentor, Theodore Long, as The Brotherhood pick up a huge win for their faction!!! At ringside, The Coach is on his feet, applauding.
The Coach: YES, YES, YES!!!! THAT’S what I’m talking about!!! That’s my boy!!! Shelton Benjamin, the next Mister Money in the Bank!!!
Jim Ross: He’s a heck of a talent, I’ll give him that, it’s just a shame about the company that young man keeps is all. But never the less, six of the eight competitors have now been decided, this years Money in the Bank ladder match is all but set now. A former world champion, Randy Orton, an undefeated wrecking machine Umaga, a cocky rookie in M.V.P, a wily veteran in the shape of Finlay, the quintessential high flying machine, Paul London, and now, a young man on the brink of greatness, Shelton Benjamin. What an array of talent that is.
The Coach: How do you pick a winner J.R?? Do you go for the championship experience of Orton?? Or the man who’s seen it all in Finlay?? Or is it the big Samoan Bulldozer?? Or does the advantage lie with the fearless in London and Benjamin?? Or what about the confidence behind M.V.P?? Everyone has a chance!!!
Jim Ross: And the final piece in that jigsaw will be decided this Friday night, as I can exclusively reveal, here and now, that six men on Smackdown will battle it out, just like six did here tonight, but TWO men will qualify!!! I don’t have any details as yet on who we can expect to see, but be sure to tune in to Smackdown this Friday to find out!!!
We now cut backstage, to Todd Grisham…
Todd Grisham: Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time … the World Heavyweight Champion … John Cena!!!
The fans pop in the background, as a smiling John Cena enters the picture.
Todd Grisham: John, th-
Cena grabs the mic.
John Cena: Excuse me just a second Todd. … HERSHEY??? ARE Y’ALL HERE TO REPRESENT???
Fans pop in the background.
John Cena: I cant hear ya out there, RAISE YO’ VOICE!!!!
Slightly bigger cheer. Cena grins, then holds the title aloft, before proclaiming;
John Cena: The Champ … is HERE!!!
Small pop from the fans, but a couple of boos creep in. Cena smiles, obviously pretending he didn’t hear the boos, and turns to Todd.
John Cena: Now I’m ready Todd. I’m feeling fine and dandy, and happy to be right here in Hershey, and best of all, John Cena is on his way TO THE BIG DANCE!!! WrestleMania Twenty Three!!! Ask me what you want, I’m rarin to go.
Thankfully, Grisham gets down to business, stopping the smiling Champion from breaking into song and dance.
Todd Grisham: John, as you just alluded to, tonight, the CEO of the WWE, Linda McMahon delivered the verdict, and it is now official … on March 18 at WrestleMania 23, you will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against the Royal Rumble winner, Christian.
Pop from the fans.
Todd Grisham: Now that the preparation can now officially begin for WrestleMania, how will your recent friendship with Christian be affected?? Can the two of you remain on the-
Cena shakes his head vehemently, which stops Grisham in his tracks.
John Cena: No Todd. Your information is very wrong my friend. Christian and I?? We’ve never been friends … and we never will be.
Mixed reaction for Cenas comment.
John Cena: Sure, over the last few months, we’ve had … an understanding. We’ve done what was best for ourselves, and if Christian tells you any different?? He’s lyin.
Small pop from the fans, but some boos again.
John Cena: Christian has watched my back, and I’ve watched his, because it was in our best interest. Christian aint brain dead, neither am I. For us to take down the three headed monster … we HAD to stick together.
Cena pauses for a moment, and turns his attention to the camera.
John Cena: Now though, that alliance … that, understanding … make no mistake about it … it’s over.
Very mixed crowd responses.
John Cena: NOW … the countdown IS ONNNN!!! Thirty Four Days … New Orleans, Superdome, 75,000 STRONGGGG!!! On one side, the 2007 Royal Rumble winner, a man whose beaten The Undertaker four times straight, forced Steve Austins retirement, ended Mick Foleys reign as General Manager of Raw, and been a former world champ to boot … Captain Charisma … Christian.
Fans pop for Christian, but there are boos too.
John Cena: On the other … the current, reigning World Heavyweight Champ, a two time Royal Rumble winner, whose beaten the best in the business today, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, The Undertaker, Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, and unbeaten on the grandest stage … unbeaten at Wrestle-FREAKIN-Mania … JOHN … CENA.
Pop for Cena, with a couple of boos. Cena calms down, and positions the title belt over his shoulder, and stares into the camera.
John Cena: Thirty four days … Cena versus Christian … there’s a collision course … and it’s headed directly for The Superdome.
Cena stares into the camera, as we fade out.
We return backstage, with Kelly Kelly now standing by.
Kelly Kelly: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m here with the Number One contender, to get his reaction to John Cena’s comments moments ago. Christian??
The camera now pans to Captain Charisma, to a big response in the background from the fans. Christian shrugs at first, arms folded, before speaking.
Christian: My reaction, huh?? Kelly, after listening to John Cena … I agree.
Initial pop, which disintegrates into a mixed response.
Christian: Cena and I aren’t friends. Never have been, never will be … never want to be.
Christian waits for a reaction from the fans, before continuing.
Christian: As of this moment Kelly, I have only one objective … that’s to win back MY World Heavyweight Championship!!!
Fans cheer in the background.
Christian: And that means, that as of now … John Cena is my biggest enemy.
Christian: Forget any alliance Kelly, that’s dead. It’s over. And y’know, I hear them talking … John Cena and Christian, it’s a collision course. That’s what they’re calling it. Well Kelly, you can call it whatever ya want. Dress it up however ya like … two forces are gonna collide at WrestleMania … and Captain Charisma is the one who’ll come out … champ.
Small pop. Christian now whispers the next line.
Christian: So if ya didn’t know … now ya know.
Christian pounds his chest, now looking to the camera.
Christian: And that’s how I roll.
Fade to ringside…
**SOMEBODIES GONNA GET IT**
Theodore Long leads Rodney Mack & Orlando Jordan for the upcoming tag team contest.
Jim Ross: This could get very interesting Coach. We’ve just heard from John Cena and Christian, the two men that will meet at WrestleMania 23, and boy, they didn’t pull any punches.
The Coach: Well, we thought, at least I thought, that these two had forged somewhat of a friendship over the last couple months. We can categorically confirm that wasn’t true. Cena and Christian had a marriage of convenience and nothing more. I just wonder how they can co-exist tonight after what they said about each other.
**JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES**
The fans are on their feet as Captain Charisma enters the arena, pounding his chest, giving his peeps plenty of thanks.
Jim Ross: We are set to find out Coach, the two men that will contest the twenty third main event in WrestleMania history are gonna need to stay on the same page if they want to beat The Brotherhood tonight.
The Coach: Indeed, but I just cant see how they’ll do it. Two huge egos are gonna need to be kept in check.
**MY TIME IS NOW**
John Cena bursts onto the stage, full of vibrancy as always, playing to the fans, as we get set for this interesting tag team match up.
Jim Ross: And here comes the champ!!! John Cena is set to team with his WrestleMania opponent, Captain Charisma, Christian, when we come back…
The Brotherhood w/ Theodore Long & Jazz vs. John Cena & Christian
Short match, joined in progress with the entire focus on Cena and Christian, as we look to see how they can co-exist, with the WrestleMania main event now looming in the distance. The answer, is oddly, still pretty well. The two men, despite their comments moments ago, still team up well, and seem to put WrestleMania to the side to do a professional job, and look to have the match won, with Christian nailing Mack with the Unprettier, and covers, 1...2...THEODORE LONG PUTS THE FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!
Christian then comes after Long, chasing him around the ring, back inside … but runs into the referee, accidentally knocking him down!!! REF BUMP~!! This leads to Mark Henry and Shelton Benjamin now running to the ring, and setting up a 6 on 2 attack, (although Long and Jazz don’t really count). But, lo and behold, this is just an opportunity to put Cena and Christian over, so it’s no surprise that they make a comeback, and fight off The Brotherhood, with the assistance of steel chairs, before Cena delivers the FU to Jordan, making a cover for the recovering referee to count, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: John Cena & Christian @ 06:08
Cena and Christian win!!! The fans are on their feet, as Cena pins Jordan, but the real story is set to unravel … Christian fends off Mack, swinging a chair, with Rodney jumping off the apron to miss the contact. Cena meanwhile, as he gets to his feet, grabs his chair … with both men taking a sneaky look around at the other … AS THEY POSITION THEMSELVES TO HIT THE OTHER WITH A CHAIR … BOTH TURN … AND BOTH SPOTS THE OTHER WITH THE SAME IDEA!!!!!
Both men suddenly stop in their tracks, realising they had both been looking to take the cheap shot!!! Christian points to the chair Cena is carrying, and motions a chair shot, as if to ask if that’s what he had planned, whilst Cena does the exact same thing. The two men keep their distance, coming to the realisation that neither can be trusted any more, as Christian backs off, leaving the ring, with an uneasy tension now firmly brewing between the two men who will headline WrestleMania in less than five weeks time.
Jim Ross: You can feel the tension here Coach. You can feel it simmering. Cena and Christian both had the same heinous idea!!!
The Coach: I love it J.R. We’re finally getting to see the real side of these two beloved fan favourites!!!
Jim Ross: The collision course is on Coach, and by Gawd, these two men almost collided tonight!!
The Coach: It’s a matter of time now J.R!!! Christian and Cena cant wait to rip each others heads off!!!
Backstage, we see the members of the McMahon Family Empire, stood in their private room, sullen faces all around, with Triple H nowhere to be seen.
Shane McMahon: Should someone go and find him?? I mean, where the heck would he have gone??
Vince looks down, unsure what to do, whilst Stephanie shakes her head, sat down in a chair.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley: No. Just let him get it out of his system.
Shane, Vince, Steph and Tomko look around at each other, not sure what to say at this point, all in a low mood following the negative response from the Board of Directors earlier.
Mr. McMahon: Good help the next guy to cross him, huh??
Stephanie looks up at her dad, eyebrows furrowed.
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley: Good help the next person he sees.
Tomko, arms folded, pipes in.
Tyson Tomko: Cant you appeal the decision??
Vince shakes his head.
Mr. McMahon: No grounds for an appeal. The majority vote sealed t-
Suddenly, we see the door open, averting everyone’s attention … and it’s Brock Lesnar. Lesnar looks across the room, inquisitively looking at the boss.
Brock Lesnar: Well??
Vince tries to reason with the Iron Man, but rolls his eyes, not interested in dealing with him.
Mr. McMahon: Later Brock, please. I’ve a lot on my plate at the moment if you cant already tell??
Brock looks furious, fed up with McMahon after months of broken promises.
Brock Lesnar: No. No more of this. I’ve had it Vince. I want my answers, and I want them tonight!!!
Vince opens his arm, as if to show Brock the rest of the people in the room, and their expressions.
Mr. McMahon: Cant you see I’ve got a lot to deal with here?? Triple H has taken off, and god knows what the hell he is capable of in the mood he’s in.
Lesnar steps right into Vince, looking to unnerve the boss.
Brock Lesnar: … And God knows what I’ll be capable of if I don’t get what I was promised. I want you to make good on your promise Vince. Or else…
Tomko tries to step in, but a glare from Brock Lesnar stops him in his tracks.
Brock Lesnar: No more excuses. I want my WrestleMania opponent by the end of tonight.
Lesnar backs up, and takes a look at the ridiculous wig on Vinces head, shaking his head in shame for his boss, then takes a look around the room, before turning, leaving. The family all shake their heads, at a loss for what to do, at a loss for words, at an extremely low ebb, with no light at the end of the tunnel is seems.
Elsewhere backstage, we see a man, dressed in a sharp suit, carrying a briefcase, wearing a backstage pass, being escorted by a runner to ERIC BISCHOFFS OFFICE. He knocks the door, and hears the call from the office of “COME IN”. He promptly obliges, and closes the door behind him, with the cameras unable to follow…
Back into the arena…
The Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels enters the arena, with his WrestleMania match now set in stone following this past weekend, where we found out he will face Mick Foley.
Jim Ross: Ladies and gentlemen, when we come back, the Showstopper is in action, as he takes on the rugged Irishman that loves to fight, Finlay!!!
Shawn Michaels vs. Finlay
Less than stellar match, which is a surprise given the ability of both men. Finlay gains the upper hand early on, taking a few shortcuts from the initial lock up, putting him in charge. He stays on top, using his wily instincts to make sure HBK is unable to muster a comeback. Eventually though, Finlay is unable to keep HBK down, and Michaels proves to the veteran Irishman why he is the Showstopper, building a great comeback, eventually hitting the Flying Elbow, which leads to Michaels tuning up the band … as the little bastard makes an appearance!!!
He jumps into the ring, and runs at HBK … BUT GETS A MINI SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! The fans cheer / laugh, as the Little Bastard takes a tumble back out of the ring, as Finlay is now back up, and attacks HBK from behind!!! He drags Michaels up, and looks for the Celtic Cross, but HBK avoids it, ducks a clothesline … AND DELIVERS SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!! Michaels makes the cover, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: Shawn Michaels @ 06:12
It’s a by the numbers victory for Michaels, who rolls on towards his scheduled Streetfight @ WrestleMania with the erratic Mick Foley. He salutes his fans, and gets set to leave the ring, until…
Eric Bischoff, the Raw General Manager enters the stage, joined by the suspicious suited man with a briefcase, looking far from happy.
Eric Bischoff: Shawn Michaels, I have an announcement to make, that quite frankly, I’d rather not have to.
Curiosity spreads around the fans, as Bischoff points toward the suited stranger.
Eric Bischoff: This gentleman to my right is Doctor Alfred Keene … Mick Foleys psychiatrist.
Few boos for Foleys doctor.
Eric Bischoff: And earlier today, Doctor Keene met with his patient to examine Mick Foleys state of mind … and the results are not good.
More boos from the fans build in the arena.
Eric Bischoff: Now, in almost all cases, we’re all aware of doctor/patient confidentiality, but as this case involves more than the patient and doctor, I have the unfortunate responsibility to announce that after meetings between Doctor Keene and the WWE Board of Directors earlier this evening … it has been judged that the WWE will not sanction any match involving Mick Foley for the foreseeable future on medical grounds.
Major heat from the fans, whilst HBK stands in the ring, looking to the fans at ringside, looking visibly frustrated.
Eric Bischoff: Therefore, that means … the Streetfight at WrestleMania between Shawn Michaels and Mick Foley … is off.
Bischoff himself seems upset to have to pull the plug on one of the most hotly anticipated matches on this years WrestleMania card. Bischoff turns and walks off, whilst we focus on an angered Shawn Michaels in the ring. J.R & Coach stay silent at ringside.
We now cut backstage immediately, as Eric Bischoff walks through the hall, still looking angry himself heading towards his office, and sees Mister Kennedy stood outside, waiting for the General Manager.
Eric Bischoff: Mister Kennedy. How can I help you??
Mister Kennedy: At least you know my name then … that’s comforting. It’s shame then that you didn’t see fit to give me a match tonight, or did it just slip your mind??
Kennedy gets in Bischoffs face a little, with Eric staring right back at him.
Eric Bischoff: No match tonight Kennedy. But rest assured, you will be in action next week, in fact, you’ll get the match you’ve been after … your rematch for the Intercontinental Championship against Rey Mysterio.
Mister Kennedy: That’s exactly what I’m after. And now … that’s exactly what I’m gonna get.
Kennedy motions around his waist, then turns and leaves, with his rematch set next week on Raw.
The same Hall of Fame video that played at Saturday Nights Main Event is shown, and revealing the next inductee into the hall of fame as … HULK HOGAN!!!
Jim Ross: We are back live in Hershey, less than five weeks away from WrestleMania 23, but tonight folks, a match that I personally was excited to see, Shawn Michaels and Mick Foley, one on one, tearing the house down in a streetfight … is off. Mick Foleys psychiatrist has ruled that Mick Foleys state of mind is not right, and he has advised the WWE board that Foley should not wrestle for the foreseeable future.
The Coach: Well J.R, we’ve sat here over the past five months or so, and every time we’ve seen Mick Foley, his actions have become stranger and stranger. As much as we both wanted to see those two living legends collide on March 18th, maybe, just maybe, it’s for the best that Foley doesn’t participate.
Jim Ross: Indeed Coach, I have to echo those comments. Mick Foley, quite frankly, hasn’t been Mick Foley in recent times. But folks, none the less, we have much more to offer that should more than make up for the loss of that Streetfight, and of course, one of those matches, is the triple threat WWE Championship match, pitting Rob Van Dam the champion, against Mister Money in the Bank, Edge, and now, after his victory at Saturday Nights Main Event, Chris Jericho!!! RVD has sat atop the mountain for six months now, whilst that whole time, Edge has patiently waited, and waited, and waited some more before finally deciding to cash in on the Grandest stage of ‘em all. Could it be Edges first ever WWE Championship, as the first ever holder of Money in the Bank, in his first ever one on one championship match, at the first ever WrestleMania in New Orleans?? Chris Jericho though, will have something to say about that!!!
The Coach: It’s a lot of firsts, but Edge is long overdue a title shot, that’s for sure. But as Edge cashes in Money in the Bank, eight more men will look to follow in his footsteps this year, Umaga, Finlay, Randy Orton and now Shelton Benjamin from Raw, with Paul London and M.V.P confirmed from the Smackdown side, with one more to come this week on Smackdown to complete that list.
Jim Ross: It is a stacked line up for Money in the Bank Part 2, but moving from stacked to iconic, Kurt Angle takes on The Undertaker!!! How big a match is that. How awesome will it be when Angle and The Deadman lock horns in front of over 70,000 in the Superdome!!!
The Coach: An undefeated streak against a man hell bent on exorcising his demons, I cant wait. Kurt Angle has never been better, he’s on a heck of a roll since his two month lay off in the autumn, and personally, I don’t think The Undertakers WrestleMania streak has ever been in more jeopardy.
Jim Ross: And of course, this past weekend, at Saturday Nights Main Event, Kurt Angle BROKE the ankle of Kane, sending a clear and stark warning to the Undertaker. Kurt Angle will do anything to beat The Phenom in New Orleans.
The Coach: Kurt Angle wont be the only man willing to do anything for victory at WrestleMania J.R, because John Cena, the World Heavyweight Champion, and the 2007 Royal Rumble winner Christian, are headed for a collision course, and earlier tonight both made it clear they’ll do whatever it takes to be victorious.
Jim Ross: And we saw first hand, that both men are willing to back up those comments, with an uneasy showdown earlier following their tag team victory, as both had the same idea, looking to nail each other with a steel chair. The build up is mounting. The time is coming, WrestleMania is less than five weeks away Coach, and I cannot wait.
**STAY IN SHADOW**
Paul London, Smackdowns very own ‘Golden Boy’ enters the stage for this one on one spectacle against one of his WrestleMania opponents in the Money in the Bank ladder match.
Jim Ross: He is the most exciting prospect in the WWE, and Paul London has the ultimate opportunity in less than five weeks at WrestleMania to earn himself a title shot for anytime he wants it in twelve months.
The Coach: He sure is exciting, but can he cut it with the best in the business?? Paul London has given many a real scare, but he has yet to do it on a consistent basis. He has a big opportunity to do it tonight against Randy Orton, a former two time World Champion.
Randy Orton enters to heat from the fans, not accompanied by any of his New Wave cronies.
Jim Ross: Two men, on course for the Money in the Bank ladder match, and they go one on one, when we come back.
Randy Orton vs. Paul London
Short match, joined in progress from the commercial, with Orton applying a chinlock to London. The Golden Boy reaches his feet, fighting out of the hold, and putting together a run of moves, bringing the fans to their feet, with Orton in all kinds of trouble, scoring a long two count following a Tornado DDT, with the Career Killer JUST kicking out in time.
The momentum appears to be with London now, and he drops Orton again with a swinging neck breaker, setting himself up for his 450 Splash … BUT ORTON MOVES!!! The finish would appear to be here, as Orton now stalks his prey, looking for the RKO … BUT LONDON DROPS DOWN AND ROLLS UP ORTON … 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Both men jump up quickly, with London ducking under a clothesline, and goes for a Dropsault, but Orton squats him out of the way, THEN CONNECTS WITH THE RKO!!! Orton quickly hooks the leg, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Randy Orton @ 07:39
Orton wins it with the sudden, deadly RKO!!! The Career Killer is back to his feet, his hand raised in the air, as he looks down at the beaten Paul London, having been given an almighty scare from the spirited Smackdown Golden Boy.
Jim Ross: There you have it. That quick, that sudden, the RKO wins it again for Randy Orton. A phenomenal effort from Paul London, but when Randy Orton connects with that RKO, it doesn’t matter who it is, no one is kicking out.
The Coach: Randy Orton has to be the frontrunner J.R. No one in that Money in the Bank ladder match has the type of pedigree Randy Orton possesses.
Jim Ross: You could say that Coach, but we don‘t know who the final two men from Smackdown will be??
The Coach: Let’s not get started on this again J.R. We all know it’s a wide open eight horse race for the Money in the Bank contract. But my pick, has gotta be Orton after tonight.
Jim Ross: Well, still to come of course, Brock Lesnar will finally find out his opponent for WrestleMania. That’s coming next folks. Who has Mr. McMahon found to take on The Iron Man at the Granddaddy of ‘em all??
We then cut backstage, and see Brock Lesnar, walking with a purpose ahead of the big announcement up next…
We return now, with Todd Grisham backstage with Shawn Michaels.
Todd Grisham: Shawn Michaels, earlier tonight, it was revealed that your match with Mick Foley scheduled for WrestleMania has now been cancelled due to the unfortunate circumstances that Doctor Keene has ruled Mick Foley as not of sound mind. That now leaves you without a match at WrestleMania, and personally, I’d find it unthinkable that you wont compete at the biggest event of the year. In fact, in the last twenty minutes or so, many have speculated that YOU could be the man set to face BROCK LESNAR now on March 18th.
Shawn Michaels: Todd, everyone seems to think that it’s over. Everyone seems to think that my match with Mick Foley at WrestleMania is dead. I don’t. Mick Foley may have a screw or two loose in that old noggin of his, but I don’t think for a second that he’s not in a condition to fight at WrestleMania. And that’s exactly what good ‘ol HBK plans on doing Todd. I’m gonna fight this all the way. I’m gonna fight for this match to happen, and I wont rest until I get it … and if you know anything about me Todd … I always get what I want.
Todd Grisham: Well, with that in mind, what would your reaction be to the strong rumour linking you to being the man scheduled to face Brock Lesnar on March 18th??
HBK shows a small smile, and shakes his head.
Shawn Michaels: I’ll face that big oaf anytime, anyplace, anywhere Todd … except for March 18, at WrestleMania, in New Orleans. The only man I want at The Superdome is Mick … Foley. I know Foley wants it, we all know that. Well now, we’re all gonna find out just how much yours truly wants it too.
Michaels puts his hand on Grishams shoulder, smiling again.
Shawn Michaels: If that means I have to cause trouble, stir the pot and create all sorts of anarchy, I’ll do it. As far as I’m concerned … it’s on.
Shawn turns and walks off, leaving Grisham to contemplate his words.
We return to the arena, at ringside with J.R & Coach.
Jim Ross: You heard it from the man himself Coach, Shawn Michaels has not given up on his quest to face Mick Foley at WrestleMania!!!
The Coach: But what lengths will Michaels go to?? And ultimately, will it matter what he does?? Mick Foley has beenwithdrawn for medical reasons, and there is nothing the WWE can do about it!!!
Jim Ross: We’ll certainly find out next week, and folks, not one, but TWO championship matches have been signed for next weeks Raw, when we come to you from San Jose. The first, as we heard earlier will be a SuperBrawl rematch, as Mister Kennedy gets a second bite at Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental Championship, whilst MNM will once again be forced to defend their World Tag Team Titles against the challengers they cant shake off, Straight Edge!!! Eric Bischoff has viewed the controversial end to their match tonight, and has signed the rematch, only this time … no count outs, no disqualifications!!! There must be a winner!!!
The Coach: Thank God J.R!!! Finally MNM can show the world just how overrated Straight Edge are!!! No more second chances after next week!!!
Jim Ross: But that’s not all!! Also next week, John Cena and Christian, the respective world champion and the Royal Rumble winner will make it official. Both men will sign on the dotted line next week, in an official contract signing for the main event at WrestleMania 23!!!
The Coach: And if tonight is anything to go by, expect fireworks baby boy.
**HERE COMES THE PAIN**
Brock Lesnar storms onto the stage, walking with a purpose, straight to the ring, as we enter the overrun.
Jim Ross: And here comes the pain Coach!!! Brock Lesnar will find out his opponent on March 18, any minute now. But who will Mr. McMahon deliver??
The Coach: We’ve heard the rumours all week J.R, many names from Smackdown such as Chris Jericho, RVD if he were to lose the WWE Championship and others were tossed around, even a couple from right here on Raw like Rey Mysterio, not to mention the Immortal Hulk Hogan, who we know now will be part of the Hall of Fame ceremony, ruling him out.
Jim Ross: JBL was mentioned, but he is definitely out for another couple of months, and Kane also was a name tossed around, but he too is now out injured. But suddenly, Shawn Michaels has become a front runner, following his match with Mick Foley being shelved earlier tonight. For Mister McMahons sake, he better have a big name, because Brock Lesnar will settle for nothing less.
In the ring, Lesnar is handed a mic, with his music dying down.
Brock Lesnar: I’m done waiting Vince. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve had more than enough time to hold up your end. The waiting is over. Get out here, and give me my match at WrestleMania.
Lesnar makes his statement short and sweet, slamming the mic down, waiting for his answer…
Mister McMahon leads out his son Shane, Tyson Tomko and Stephanie, with Vince still wearing his ridiculous wig, power walking down the ramp, looking more confident as he strides towards Lesnar who stands waiting in the ring. The McMahon Family Empire, minus Triple H enter the ring, with Vince looking overly confident, giving the mood Lesnar is in. McMahon is handed a mic from Lillian Garcia, as the music dies down. Vince has a beaming smile on his face, as he turns to Lesnar.
Mr. McMahon: Okay, okay. I’ve got your opponent Brock. Oh boy, I’ve got your opponent alright.
Lesnar rips the mic from Vince, with McMahons face dropping suddenly.
Brock Lesnar: Just cut the crap, and get his ass out here.
Vince smiles again, and takes the mic back.
Mr. McMahon: I’m gonna give you one last chance Brock. You don’t have to do this. You don’t want to commit … career suicide. By facing this man, that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. What’s it to be??
Brock is given the mic again, and he gets in Vinces face.
Brock Lesnar: You must think I’m stupid Vince. You must think I don’t have a brain. I’m a lot smarter than you think Vince. I KNOW who it is, it doesn’t take a genius to work it out. GET HIS ASS OUT HERE … NOW!!!
Vince smiles, and holds his arm out, towards the stage…
Mr. McMahon: Be careful what you wish for Brock … be very careful …
**TIME TO PLAY THE GAME**
IT’S TRIPLE H!!! TRIPLE H IS BROCK LESNARS OPPONENT AT WRESTLEMANIA!!! The Game bursts onto the stage, wielding his trusty sledgehammer, looking ready to maim someone, having not gotten his way earlier tonight. He storms down the ramp, with Lesnar eagerly waiting for The Game to hit the ring, WHEN SUDDENLY, LESNAR TURNS, AND NAILS TOMKO!!! He then clotheslines Shane, as Stephanie runs for cover!!!
Lesnar sensed a sneak attack from the McMahon Family Empire, and got them before they got him!!!
Vince is left standing in the ring, holding a steel chair, and runs toward Lesnar with it, but Brock blocks the chair, and overpowers him for it, SMASHING THE CHAIRMAN, BENDING THE CHAIR OVER HIS HEAD!!!
Triple H stands at the apron, contemplating whether or not to get inside, as he watches Brock Lesnar clean house!!! Tomko is back up, and comes at Lesnar … BUT GETS HURLED WITH A SICK BELLY TO BELLY!!!
Shane now tries to pull his Dad from the ring, but Brock stamps on Shanes hand, stopping him from helping his father to safety, as The Game continues to watch from the outside at his WrestleMania opponent.
In the ring, Lesnar drags Vince back up, holding him up to keep him on his feet, and RIPS THE WIG OFF HIM … EXPOSING VINCES BALD HEAD!!!!!
The fans pop big time for the big reveal, and Lesnar throws Vince onto his shoulders effortlessly, pointing at The Game, yelling in his direction … AND DELIVERS THE F5 TO MISTER MCMAHON!!!!!
The fans are on their feet as The Iron Man creates all kinds of carnage, as he sends a clear message to his WrestleMania opponent, Triple H. The McMahons now are able to pull their Father to safety, as Brock picks up a mic, grabbing The Games attention.
Be careful what I wish for, huh?? I just got exactly what I wanted!!!
The fans cheer, as Lesnar continues.
Triple H!!! HERE … COMES … THE PAIN!!!
It’s another raucous pop, as Lesnar makes sure he’s got the attention of The Game.
I’ll see you … at WrestleMania!!!
The fans pop big time, as it’s official - BROCK LESNAR WILL FACE TRIPLE H AT WRESTLEMANIA 23!!!
GOOD GOD!!! Brock Lesnar will meet Triple H - for the FIRST TIME EVER - at the Showcase of the Immortals!!! And by Gawd, Brock Lesnar just tore through the McMahon Family Empire here tonight!!!
But he didn’t get his hands on the man he wanted … he didn’t get a hand on Triple H tonight.
But he will Coach … on March 18 he will. Triple H cant hide at WrestleMania!!!
I just cant believe it J.R … BROCK LESNAR WILL FACE TRIPLE H!!!
By Gawd, things just got interesting Coach. The Road to WrestleMania just took a heck of a turn, and there is no going back now!!! What a stunning moment!!!
The McMahon Family Empire struggle up the ramp, holding up Vince, as Triple H just stands at the ringside area, locking eyes with Brock Lesnar, who stands on the middle turnbuckle, mouthing at his WrestleMania opponent, as we go off the air…
END OF SHOW
Current Card for WWE Wrestle Mania XXIII:
Date: 18th March 2007
Location: Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Event Music: U2 & Green Day; The Saints are Coming & Killers; Sams Town
World Heavyweight Championship Match:
World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena vs.
2007 Royal Rumble Winner, Christian
WWE Championship; Triple Threat Match:
WWE Champion, Rob Van Dam vs.
Mr. Money in the Bank, Edge vs.
‘Highlight of the Night’ Chris Jericho
United States Championship Match:
Brent Albright vs. Batista
Money in the Bank Ladder Match:
WINNER HAS AUTOMATIC TITLE SHOT ANYTIME IN NEXT 12 MONTHS
M.V.P vs. Umaga vs. Paul London vs. Finlay vs. ??? vs. Randy Orton vs. ??? vs. Shelton Benjamin
FIRST TIME EVER:
!!FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING!!
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar
The Irresistible Force vs. The Immovable Object:
Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker
Mick Foley vs. Shawn Michaels
Hall of Fame Ceremony 2007;
Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Mike Tyson (Celebrity Inductee)
WrestleMania Event Banner; Crazian
Match Banners; Rocker
MITB Gif; Whoever provided Legend with his