The Pyramid hosts another spectacular edition of Raw, as the superstars of the WWE invade Tennessee!!! Expect another dynamite evening, with myself, Jim Ross, alongside my broadcast colleague, Jonathon Coachman, The Coach.
It’s big time tonight J.R. The Coach is pumped, tell the people what’s in store.
The 2006 King of the Ring tournament kicks off tonight, with the first two opening round matches from the Raw portion of the draw kicking us off. The draw was made on Saturday afternoon on wwe.com, and tonight, we open the first King of the ring tournament in four years, with The Man Beast, Rhyno, a former semi finalist in this tournament, taking on a King of the Ring virgin, in The Prodigy, and one third of the Horsemen, Nick Dinsmore.
And the second match J.R, sees a rematch from Backlash, between The Con Man, Rob Conway, and Mister Kennedy!!! Two other men, making their debuts in this prestigious competition. The other two first round matches from the Raw half of the draw take place next week.
And if you haven’t had the opportunity to take a look at the Raw draw on wwe.com, then here it is now…
Rob Conway vs. Ken Kennedy
Rhyno vs. Nick Dinsmore
Garrison Cade vs. Carlito
Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay
The Smackdown draw will take place next Tuesday afternoon just for those keeping score at home by the way.
But that’s not all. Tonight, in a tag team main event, Edge and Brock Lesnar will join forces again after a disastrous display last week, to face the former World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena, and the current Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin.
Big test for Edge and Lesnar tonight. Those two need to find the same page and they need to do it quickly.
We’ll also get Garrison Cade appearing on the Cabana with Carlito, where he will explain WHY he turned his back on Shawn Michaels at Backlash eight nights ago.
HBK aint here tonight, as he promised, to give Cade the chance to explain himself. I say it’s more along the lines of Michaels being scared to come up against Cade.
That’s a load of you know what Coach … but hey, we’ve got two special guests on Raw this evening too!!! The Chairman of the board IS HERE!!! Mister McMahon announced over the weekend he would be on Raw tonight, what does McMahon have to say this evening?? And also, the WWE cant come to Memphis without The King!!! Jerry Lawler the Hall of Famer will make an appearance this evening!!!
That’s all we need. Just as we were beginning to move on…
And here he is!!! The Chairman of the board isn’t wasting time tonight!!! We are kicking the show off with Vincent Kennedy McMahon!!!
For the love of - STAND UP WHEN THE BOSS IS HERE!!!
Go to hell Coach … go to hell.
McMahon power walks to the ring, with J.R musing on what possible reason McMahon has for being in Memphis tonight. Vince enters the ring, and is handed a mic, with his signalling for the music to stop, which it does fairly abruptly.
Not to be rude, but time is of the essence this evening, and I’d like to get straight to business. Eric Bischoff, show yourself.
McMahon stands, and waits for a moment, before…
Eric Bischoff enters the arena, looking a little uncomfortable being called out by the boss. Bischoff quickly walks down the ramp, so as not to keep McMahon waiting. Eric steps inside the ring, and shakes hands with Vince, but McMahon doesn’t appear to be happy with the Raw GM.
Now Eric, when I re-appointed you as the General Manager of Raw, you made me a number of promises. Isn’t that right??
Yes, Mister McMahon, that is correct.
Let me think now. What promises did you make to me … refresh my memory Eric.
Eric now smugly smiles, as he begins to answer.
Well, Mister McMahon, I pr
Wait. Wait. How about we use the video evidence…
Vince points to the titan tron, as we see a clip of Eric Bischoff on the April 3rd edition of Raw, where he was re-appointed.
We return, with Bischoff nodding in agreement, as Vince puts his hand into his pocket, before speaking.
This time I WONT slip up, and I wont give anyone any excuse to fire me. What I’m gonna do is shake this brand to it’s very core, and take Raw to a level we’ve never been. I’m gonna take Raw and make it bigger than Nitro ever was … I’m gonna take Raw, and make it bigger than Raw ever was in the attitude era. This is a new era for Raw … The ERIC BISCHOFF ERA!!!!
So … do you think you’re living up to your end of the bargain Eric?? Have you shaken Raw to it’s very core?? Are you taking Raw to a whole new level?? Are you making Raw bigger than it’s ever been??
Eric nods, and begins to speak.
Sir, with all due respect, these things cant be done overnight. But slowly and su-
The fans pop, as Eric takes a step back.
Mr. Mc Mahon:
I don’t want someone in charge of Raw that’s gonna just cower, and make excuses. I want someone in charge of this show that going to shake Raw to it’s very foundations. If you make a promise I want you to BACK IT UP!!! I want you Eric … TO TAKE RAW BY THE THROAT AND SHAKE THE LIFE INTO RAW!!! … SHAKE THIS SHOW UP LIKE YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD … or I’ll find someone else.
Vince sneers at Bischoff, who loosens his collar, before speaking.
You’re right Mister McMahon. I’m going to shake Raw up. I’m going to stamp my authority over this show, starting tonight.
Vince raises his eyebrow.
Now Eric, before you start going and shaking things up, I also want to make it clear that my main point of concern … is your treatment of certain talent.
Eric looks puzzled.
It appears to me Eric as if you’re catering to certain Raw superstars, such as Brock Lesnar … such as Edge, whilst you’re making life difficult for the likes of Shawn Michaels, and Rey Mysterio.
Heat for Bischoff.
And Eric, take this as a tip. You are being warned to start treating every single piece of talent with the same amount of respect, or contempt that you do every other superstar. Is that understood??
Absolutely Mister McMahon. In actual fact, just before you mentioned that, I was planning on announcing that tonight, I’d like to publicly apologise … to … Rey Mysterio over my recent actions. And … to make up for forcing Mysterio to defend his rightfully won Money in the Bank contract at WrestleMania … I … …
McMahon nods, as Bischoff tries to think of something.
I am here by announcing that tonight, LIVE on MY Monday Night Raw, Rey Mysterio will go one on one, with … CHRISTIAN … FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
The fans pop big time, as McMahon nods, looking happy with the announcement.
Eric, I like it. But don’t forget what I said. Treat the talent equally … and shake this damn show to it’s core.
McMahon begins to walk away, but Eric stops him, smiling.
Y’know, I think I know just the thing to shake Raw up. In fact, by this time next Monday night, the entire world will be tuning in to Raw … just wait and see.
McMahon, looking confused, takes the comment in, before leaving the ring, and a grinning, nodding Bischoff, as he head into the first commercial of the evening.
1st Match: KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT - FIRST ROUND:
Rob Conway vs. Mister Kennedy
Short, disappointing match, not even matching the average contest the two had eight days ago at Backlash. Conway tries to be the aggressor on this occasion, but it’s Kennedy that has too much for Conway again, and gains a much deserved win, scoring with the Green Bay Plunge, defeating The Con Man, ending any hopes for Conway to become KOTR.
Winner: Mister Kennedy @ 05:15
Kennedy has his hand raised in victory, whilst Conway makes a quick getaway, slipping out of the ring after another loss to Kennedy. Kennedy progresses, and gets on the mic, referring to himself not as Mister Kennedy, but the soon to be KING Kennedy.
A second promo plays, hyping CM Punk. In this vignette, Punk explains the reasons for his tattoos despite being Straight Edge.
Backstage, we see a relieved looking Eric Bischoff about to step into his office, when we see a hand go onto the handle of the door, stopping Eric from entering. The camera pans up, and we see an angry looking John Cena staring down the boss.
I think we need to talk Eric.
Eric, looking a little concerned for himself tries to speak, but Cena stops him.
Two things Eric. Two questions I need answered. Where the hell is Randy Orton?? And where do I stand in terms of a World Championship rematch??
Bischoff, still looking anxious, tries to calmly answer.
John, I understand your angry. I understand that completely.
Cena butts in.
Stop talkin around the subject Eric. Give me the answers.
Look. Randy Orton?? He’s still on a leave of absence. I don’t even know how he got into the building at Backlash. I told Orton not to come back until he was ready to be a team player. He could be gone for another week, another month … hell, he might never come back.
Cena looks furious, as Bischoff continues.
And now, I’m telling you the same thing. You’re title shot depends on how you perform. You’re at the back of the line now John. And like I said to Randy Orton last month … you can stay on Raw and be a team player … or you can go on a holiday, and come back when you’re ready to play by MY rules.
Cena puts his head down, not happy with the ultimatum.
I don’t play by the rules Eric … but I’ve got people that are here to see me, and fans to please, and I don’t plan on letting them down. I WILL work my way back to the World Title, and I WILL be the World Champion again … and there’s gonna be nothing you can do about it.
Cena brushes past Bischoff, who takes a deep breath, escaping a bullet there.
Finlay vs. The Hurricane
Just another showcase for Finlay, who dominates literally from bell to bell, over The Hurricane, who has done very little on Raw in the past six months since losing the now defunct Hardcore title. He does though, get a brief minute of offence, where he gets to play to the crowd with his usual antics, but the match falls apart from him, as he goes up top, taking forever to put his cape on, and gets caught in mid air, with Finlay dropping him with a rib breaker, before breaking Hurricane down again, eventually finishing him off with the Celtic Cross, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: Finlay @ 05:12
Finlay picks up another impressive win, as he prepares for his KOTR match next week, when he faces Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin.
We head backstage, and see Edge walking along the corridor, looking less than happy, stopping at Eric Bischoffs office, immediately bursting in, with Eric getting straight out of his chair, looking furious.
Eric?? (Pauses to let Eric speak, then butts in)
No, shut up. How can you do that?? How can you just hand out a world title match to Rey Mysterio?? If you haven’t forgotten Eric, HE LOST HIS CHANCE!!! He lost this. (Raises briefcase, and pats it)
Eric now retorts, not showing any fear of the angry Rated ‘R’ Superstar.
Now hold on just a damn second. You cant come into my office, and start yelling the odds at me. Edge, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have that briefcase, and I’d appreciate you to remember that. I gave Mysterio the title shot tonight, and lets call a spade a spade here, I shouldn’t have made Rey Mysterio defend that money in the bank. It wasn’t a title to be defended.
Edge listens, but breathes heavily, showing his anger.
But - there is one man who can put a stop to Rey Mysterio challenging Christian this evening, isn’t there??
Eric looks down at the briefcase, with Edge pulling it into his chest, holding it closely.
Forget it. The time isn’t right yet. Just letting you know Eric … the decision to give Mysterio a title shot?? STINKS!!!
Edge then turns around, and looks to storm out of the room, but walks right into the path … of BROCK LESNAR!!! Edge takes a step back, and gulps, as Lesnar looks at his tag partner for tonight with a look of resentment.
Tonight, after that joke last week … you better follow my lead.
Edge s......s, trying to hide his nervousness, and tries to move past, but Lesnar stops him.
And leave the briefcase behind … wouldn’t want any accidents like last week, would we??
Again, Edge fake laughs, but his smile fades as Lesnar walks away.
Back into the arena…
**I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE, WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL**
Carlito walks out onto the stage, accompanied by Stacy Kiebler, to a fairly indifferent response, after showing signs of a face turn last week. The couple walks down the ramp to present the Cabana, as J.R tells us to tune in after the break for the Cabana with The Horsemen.
We return, with Carlito and Stacy in the ring, and it appears Carlito has been bigging up Kiebler during the commercial…
… But as much as I would like to compliment Stacy all night, The Cabana is back tonight, and tonight’s guest is someone who has a lot of questions to answer, and I’m the man with the questions. Dat?? Das cool. My guest tonight is the same man who has the pleasure of getting beaten by me next week in the King of the Ring tournament, it is … Garrison Cade …
**WILD HORSES** Garrison Cade enters the arena, flanked by both Ric Flair, and Nick Dinsmore, who is already dressed for action, having a match to contest later this evening. The trio are given a seething amount of heat from the fans, as they cockily make their way to the ring, finally entering. The three men point a whisper at Carlito, before Flair is given a mic, and he hands it over to Cade.
Thank you Ric. Ladie-
Cade is cut off with an ‘asshole’ chant from the fans, whilst Carlito smiles at the response, having been snubbed by The Horsemen as they entered the ring.
Lets get somethin’ straight here. I’m not an asshole. I’m not the bad guy here. The bad guy … is Shawn Michaels.
Heat from the fans.
Don’t dare try and turn this around on me. I did what I had to do, for MY career to progress. I turned my back on Shawn Michaels, because he wouldn’t let go of the torch. He wouldn’t pass it to the next generation.
Cade looks ready to snap, as the fans refuse to give him any quiet.
But, Ric Flair?? Ric Flair offered me to the chance to progress. The Nature Boy promised to give ME the ball. And damn it, I’m running with the ball full pelt.
Heat from the fans, as Carlito now speaks up.
Umm … that’s all well and good, but, you do realise that you just killed my interview?? You just answered all the questions I had for you.
Flair looks furious at Carlitos outburst.
Seriously. You’ve just ruined the entire Cabana, moron.
Flair goes nuts, ripping off his jacket, with Carlito looking a little worried by the behaviour.
Calm down Flair. You guys not give him his medication?? Do something. Sedate him or … put him to sleep, something.
Cade now comes back at Carlito, looking angry.
Wait just a second. You cant talk about the greatest wrestler ever like that. The hell do you think you are?? That’s Ric Flair you’re talking about.
Listen. I know exactly who I’m talkin about. And I know exactly who I’m talkin to. You?? You’re not cool. You?? You’re nothing more than a backstabbing son of a bi-
Dinsmore now butts in, taking the mic from Cade.
Don’t get me started on you ‘Eugene’. You’re just a fraud. Both of you make me sick. Let’s face it, I know I’m not perfect … I’ll admit that. But at least I don’t pretend to be someone’s friend, and then stick the knife in the back when he’s not looking. And at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not.
Fans pop for Carlito, as The Horsemen go nuts with rage.
As far as I’m concerned, you Cade, should worship the ground Shawn Michaels walks on. If it weren’t for him, you’d be nothing more than a bum. And you, Nick Dinsmore?? You oughta be in jail. In fact, you three don’t deserve to be called the Horsemen. A better name to suit the three of you?? I’d say … the fraud squad.
Few fans laugh
You’ve already ruined the Cabana tonight, by coming out here and ignoring the basics of this show, and just going ahead and talking. What the hell is that supposed to be?? What do I do?? Just stand and listen to what you say?? Y’know what, I suggest the three of you get the hell off my show right now, before I personally dispose of the three of you myself.
Carlito slams his mic down, whilst Cade, Dinsmore and Flair begin to laugh. Flair grabs the mic from Dinsmore, and yells at Carlito.
You little INGRATE!!! You disrespect the biggest force in wrestling today?? Why … we oughta rip you in half, and BEAT some damn respect into you Carlito. You know I know your father very well, and y’know, I think he’ll thank us … for this.
Cade and Dinsmore immediately attack Carlito clubbing him to the mat, beating at him, with Flair putting the boots to him, whilst Kiebler goes spare on the outside, crying for help for Carlito. The three men continue to beat on CCC, when suddenly…
Kane bursts out from behind the curtain, and just like last week, stalks to the ring, with The Horsemen quickly gathering and scampering out of the ring, and through the crowd.
Kane comes to the ring, and walks around ringside, watching at the barrier, as The Horsemen run out through an exit.
We return to Raw, with a shot of Rey Mysterio preparing in the locker room, with his big title match set for later this evening.
Back to ringside…
Still to come tonight, our World Championship main event. Rey Mysterio challenges Christian for the richest prize in the game. What a match that’ll be. But moments ago here on Raw, we had perhaps, the most unusual edition of The Cabana, no questions were asked but Carlito perhaps gained himself three new enemies in the shape of The Horsemen.
Yeah, you’re right J.R. What the hell was Carlito thinking?? But J.R, what the hell is Kane doing?? What is his issue with The Horsemen!!??
Coach, your guess is as good as mine. Kane has his sights set on Flair, Cade and Dinsmore, but we sure as hell don’t know why!!!
**HERE COMES THE PAIN** Brock Lesnar enters the stage, for the next match of the evening.
We’ll try and find those answers later, but right now, it’s time for a MAJOR tag team spectacle. Brock Lesnar and Edge team up again, this week to face the former World Heavyweight Champion, John Cena and the current, Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin!!!
**METALINGUS** Edge makes his entrance, and shares a stern glance with his tag team partner, as the tension grows between the pair.
**AINT NO STOPPING ME NOW** Shelton Benjamin bursts out onto the stage, looking pumped up for a big time match up tonight. Shelton waits down the ramp, for his partner before entering the ring…
**MY TIME IS NOW** John Cena enters the arena to a phenomenal ovation from the on looking fans. The former champ looks focused on the ring, and proceeds down the ramp, touching knuckles with Benjamin, before running into the ring, going right at it with Lesnar.
Brock Lesnar & Edge vs. John Cena & Shelton Benjamin
Cena and Lesnar tear it up early on, going right at, letting their frustrations out on each other, even brawling to the outside, where Edge and Benjamin get involved, and the referee tries to regain control, as we go to a commercial.
After the commercial break, we return with Edge and Benjamin now the legal men, Edge on top, beating down Shelton in the corner. The Rated ‘R’ Superstar whips the IC Champion across the ring, but Shelton jumps to the middle turnbuckle, and leaps back, landing behind Edge, rolling him up, 1...2...Kick Out. Benjamin turns it up a notch now, with Edge struggling to keep up with the speed, until Benjamin tags Cena back in. Cena storms in, still seething from losing his title, and begins to unload his anger on Edge, but Edge hangs in, and soon enough capitalizes on a Cena mistake, and begins to give the advantage to his side. Edge eventually tags Lesnar back in, with Brock going to work on the former champion. Lesnar and Edge begin to start working more fluidly, seemingly forgetting their tension earlier in the night, and begin to put Cena in plenty of trouble.
Just as it looks like the two are beginning to display a team spirit between each other, Lesnar ignores a call from Edge to tag out, and decides to stay in, with The Iron Man continuing to beat on Cena instead. Edge grows frustrated, as Lesnar starts to get more cocky with himself, but is made furious, as Edge makes a blind tag, quickly racing across the ring, and knocking Benjamin off the apron. He turns around, but walks into Brock Lesnar, and the two men begin to argue, but just before they can come to blows, John Cena comes in from behind, and attacks both men, beginning a comeback. Cena starts to fire up, and Benjamin gets involved too, with the faces looking sure to win the contest now.
Cena applies the STFU on Edge, but just before he can tap out, Lesnar breaks the hold, stomping on Cena. Benjamin then leaps at Brock, but Lesnar side steps him, and Shelton hit’s the referee instead!!!! Lesnar then hoists Shelton up, and goes for the F5, but as he spins Benjamin around, HE CLATTERS HIM INTO EDGE KNOCKING THEM BOTH DOWN!!!! Brock yells out, furious with his mistake, but that allows Cena to take him on, and Cena gets the better of Lesnar, eventually hitting the FU!!! Cena looks to get the referee back to his feet … BUT RANDY ORTON SLIDES INTO THE RING!!! ORTON SPINS CENA AROUND … RKO!!!! Orton, out of nowhere takes out Cena again!!! Randy licks his lips and smiles over the body of Cena, before giving the referee a slap, waking him up again. He then exit’s the ring, and stands on the apron, watching as Cena struggles back up to his feet. Cena gets up, and takes a look at Orton, looking set to go for his arch nemesis, BUT EDGE SCORES WITH A SPEAR ON CENA!!! Edge hooks the leg, as the referee finally comes to, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Edge & Brock Lesnar @ 11:24
Cena has been screwed again!!! Orton jumps off the apron, and jogs past the aisle, down the sideway of the ramp, whilst in the ring, Edge revels in his victory, getting in Lesnars face as much as anyone else’s, telling Brock that HE won the match. Edge leaves the ring, celebrating like he won the lottery, as Cena is helped to his feet by Benjamin, whilst Lesnar watches on as Edge celebrates up the ramp.
We return from the commercial, we see John Cena frantically walking through the backstage area, looking for Randy Orton, but is told by random people that Orton has left the building already. Cena looks ready to explode, and over turns a table, letting out some of his anger.
We then cut away, and come to Todd Grisham, who is standing by with Finlay.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time, The Fighting Irishman, Finlay.
Heat for Finlay, but not a tremendous amount.
And Mister Finlay, after your debut just last week, you’ve created such an impression on Raw, that already you’ve been inserted into the King of the Ring tournament, facing the Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin, next week, on Raw.
Finlay takes a long look at Todd, showing a blatant lack of respect for him.
Todd, I didn’t come to the WWE to talk to the likes of you. I didn’t come to Raw to talk at all. I’m not here to win anyone’s approval, or hear the fans chant my name. I’m here for the competition. I’m here to inflict as much pain and suffering as I possibly can to my opponents. And no matter who I face, whether it’s Shelton Benjamin or John Cena, I’ll hold nothing back ... nothing at all.
Finlay fakes a lunge at Grisham, who makes a scared feeble turn away, thinking he was about to get hit. Finlay begins to laugh, before playfully slapping Todd, and walking off.
Back into the arena…
**WILD HORSES** Nick Dinsmore wanders out, alone, as per KOTR rules, but looks on edge, constantly peering over his shoulder, after the recent events involving Kane.
When we return, it’s our second King of the Ring match up, as Nick Dinsmore of The Horsemen, takes on The Man Beast, Rhyno.
4th Match: KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT - FIRST ROUND:
Nick Dinsmore vs. Rhyno
Joined in progress from the commercial, with Dinsmore seemingly out of sorts, facing the last man Kane faced, from Backlash, with Rhyno taking full advantage of Dinsmores state of mind. Rhyno pretty much dominates the contest, with Dinsmore barely hanging in with him, clearly thrown off by what has happened with Kane, but luckily for Dinsmore, he side steps an attempted Gore, with Rhyno crashing into the ring post, and Dinsmore manages to roll him up, putting his feet on the ropes for leverage, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: Nick Dinsmore @ 05:09
Dinsmore, somehow advances, despite taking an absolute battering throughout the match up. He has his arm raised, but quickly looks around, in fear of Kane chasing him down again. He quickly jumps out of the ring, and begins to jog up the ramp, looking to get away as quickly as he can, but as he reaches the top of the ramp …
Dinsmore falls to the ground, in shock of the explosion, as we see Kane now step out onto the stage, bearing down on Dinsmore, who tries to crawl away, but Kane grabs him by the tights, and drags him to his feet, with Dinsmore begging off, but Kane grabs Dinsmore by the throat, and tilts his head at the pleading Dinsmore, who tries to ask Kane to let him go … BUT KANE HOISTS HIM UP, AND CHOKESLAMS DINSMORE ON THE STEEL RAMP!!!!!
Kane looks down at Dinsmore, with no facial expression to be found, hidden beneath his mask, as Dinsmore writhes in agony on the ramp, as we fade off into a commercial.
We return with highlights of what happened with Kane and Dinsmore moments ago, before clips from Unlimited, where Dinsmore was wheeled out of the arena, with Cade and Flair going with him.
I’m certainly not the biggest fan of The Horsemen Coach, least of all Nick Dinsmore, but I cannot think of any earthly reason, as to why Kane has taken up such a vendetta with the group.
And he went too far tonight J.R. WAY too far!!! Kane needs to be fined, suspended, and fired if you ask me.
I just want to know why Coach. Why does Kane want to cause pain upon The Horsemen??
Somebody needs to get to the bottom of it J.R. It’s out of control.
**GREAT GATES OF KIEV** The Pyramid ERUPTS as Jerry Lawler steps out onto the stage, and the hometown hero waves to his adoring fans.
There he is Coach, without a doubt, the greatest colour broadcaster in WWE history, and a certified Hall of Famer. The King has come home!!! Listen to this ovation Jonathan.
Excuse me?? You’re currently sitting next to the greatest colour commentator in wrestling history, and The King must’ve found that Hall of Fame plaque in a god damn lucky bag.
You’d be doing a good job Coach, if you were half the broadcaster Jerry Lawler was.
Oh c’mon. Be serious. Anyone can be Jerry Lawler. All he ever did was ogle women, make lame jokes, and insult midgets. OH MY PUPPIES!!!
Lawler takes in the ovation, walking down the ramp, waving to the adoring fans. Lawler steps into the ring, and is handed a mic, as the music dies down but ‘Jerry’ chants begin to stir.
… It’s great to be home.
Roar from the fans.
Y’know, I sure do miss the thrill of sitting beside Jim Ross every Monday night. I miss the buzz of the live audience, and I most importantly miss every single fan out there.
Fans pop again.
But, sometimes you have to accept when it’s time to move on. Hell, I don’t need to complain … You’re looking at a certified HALL OF FAMER!!!!
Another cheer from the fans.
And the moment I was given the opportunity to come out in Memphis, live on Raw tonight, to talk to you fans, the same fans that have showed me the utmost respect over the years, it was just too good of an opportunity to turn down.
Another pop from the fans.
Now whaddya say … just for old times sake, about The King calling the rest of Raw tonight … right there, smack dab in the middle of my good friend, good ‘ol J.R, and the young pretender, Jonathan Coachman??
HUGE pop from the fans, with J.R all for it, whilst Coach (on commentary speaks to himself)
The Coach: Over my dead body.
Jim Ross: Hey - that can be arranged!!!
King smiles in the ring, and nods as the fans voice their approval.
Well … I guess that settles it!!!
Lawler begins to step out of the ring, and onto the apron, when…
**GENERIC CUBAN MUSIC** The fans look a little confused, as we see a stranger enter the arena, dressed in a pale suit, with a white hat to match. The fairly dark skinned man walks down to the ring, with a grin on his face, as Lawler steps inside the ring again, looking a little confused himself. The man steps into the ring, and picks up the microphone that Lawler had set down, as the music stops.
Ahh … tudos … excussemay … I bring how ju say … GIFT, haha, all the way from Cooba.
The man offers a Cigar to Lawler, but The King just stares at the offering, and refuses to take it. The man continues to smile, whilst putting the cigar back into his top pocket.
Dats okay … the smoke … eets bad.
Lawler continues to look at the man with a disdain, as the man starts to look a little uncomfortable, before palming his hat.
DANG!!! How … aha RUDE!!! Let me introduce myself. MY NAME EES … ARRRMANDO, ALEJANDRRRO … ESSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRADDDDDDDDA!!!!
Heat from the fans, instantly not liking Estrada.
And everybody listen … HAHA … to me.
Because … I have some very important … ehhh … information to tell joo.
Lawler narrows his eyebrows, in annoyance with Estrada.
Meester Lawler, joo were once great. Joo were once … superstar, ha. El mono, your tiiiime has … how joo say … done.
Estrada grins, and nods, whilst the fans boo.
And eet is time tooo … move … move on.
Lawler now rips the mic away, to the pleasure of the fans.
I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know why you’re here, but pal, you’re certainly in the wrong place.
Fans pop, as Armando puts his hands to his sides, in a huff.
So I’d suggest Mister Estrada, that you take your cheap cigars, and get the hell on out of here, before I personally escort you off the premises!!!
Fans pop, as Estradas eyes pop open, and he takes the mic back.
Joo don’t understand Lawler. Joo don’t understand the … consequence.
King shakes his head, and rips the mic back again.
Listen pal, it’s pretty clear to me you’re on the wrong side of town here. Because nobody crosses Jerry Lawler in Memphis.
Estrada tries to take the mic, but Lawler loses his cool, and punches Estrada, knocking him down!!! The fans go berserk, as Lawler pulls Estrada up, and throws him right out of the ring, getting rid of the rubbish. Kings music hits again, as Estrada crawls up the ramp, having just been taken out by King.
We return, with The Heart Throbs and Lita in the ring, whilst King has now joined J.R and Coach on commentary, as we await their opponents for this six person tag match.
**YOU LOOK SO GOOD / APA REMIX**
Rico flamboyantly enters the arena, with Simmons and Trish following behind, as Trish locks eyes on Lita in the ring, desperate to get her hands on her. As the trio walk down the ramp … we suddenly see a group of photographers swarm them, and furiously snap pictures, almost blinding them, to the extent that Rico cant even pose for a shot with a flashing of bulbs. Simmons chases them off, as J.R comments that it happened last week to Rico too, and it cost him a one on one match with Rob Conway.
A.F.A & Trish Stratus vs. The Heart Throbs & Lita
Short match, just to fill time until the main event, and gives Trish and Lita a chance to progress their feud, whilst getting the tag champs some air time. The faces put their weird paparazzi experience behind them, and get on with the job, as Lita and Trish take up the most of the ring time, before Rico and Romeo tag in, and we head straight for this finish, as Lita tries to distract Rico, only for Trish to nail her off the apron, with chaos now ensuing. Rico plants a lip lock on Romeo, who despite looking Gay, reacts badly to it, and starts running around the ring, slapping his mouth, walking into a spin kick from Rico, 1...2...3!!!
Winners: A.F.A & Trish Stratus @ 02:56
Rico celebrates the win in the ring, whilst Lita rakes Trish eyes on the outside, giving herself a chance to escape up the ramp away from Stratus, whilst Simmons nails a devastating Spinebuster on Antonio on the outside.
Watching backstage, we see the Womens champion, Jillian Hall standing, watching on the monitor…
They think they’re so great. I’m the one with the title. I should be the centre of attention.
Jillian turns away, and spots Todd Grisham, quickly moving in his direction, and gropes the interviewer, pinching his ass, and giving him flirty looks.
Todd … you think I’m the prettiest … most attractive … SEXIEST diva on Raw, don’t you??
Hall rubs herself up against Todd, with the geek gulping hard, uneasy with Jillian.
I know you want me Todd…
Jillian moves in to kiss Todd, then pushes him away, and starts laughing.
You don’t really think you could have ME, do you?? As if. Todd, I’m the most attractive woman in the WWE … hell, I’m the MOST attractive woman on the planet. I’m the WWE Womens Champ, and I AM THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!!!
Hall struts off, having just teased Grisham into boosting her own ego.
We head further backstage, and see Eric Bischoff on his phone, talking to someone concerning the condition of Nick Dinsmore.
That’s a relief. So, he’ll be ready to compete in time for next Monday?? … … What?? What do you mean ‘I’m being a little inconsiderate’, time is money pal, my job depends on my talent being able to fulfil obligations. … … How long are we talking here?? … … Two months?? No, no, no. I don’t think so. He can take next week to recuperate, but nothing more. Got that??
Bischoff doesn’t wait for a response and hangs up. Eric then dials another number, and waits for a response.
Hello?? Personnel?? Yeah, it’s Eric Bischoff. I want you to set up some sort of interview with Kane during the week. I want to get to the bottom of his vendetta with The Horsemen. … … No one is willing to interview him?? What the hell are you people being paid for?? Fix it!!!
Eric ends the call early again, as we see Mr. McMahon enter the office. Eric puts on a smile, greeting the boss.
I hope you’ve enjoyed your evening sir.
I have to say, I’ve been impressed Eric. I just hope you keep it up … because I WILL be here next Monday to reveal the ‘McMahons’ choice match for the upcoming Clash of the Champions on June 4th.
Eric grins and nods.
Oh Mister McMahon. I know ALL about the Clash of the Champions. I’m more prepared than you might think.
Vince looks a little confused, but nods anyway.
Very well. I’m afraid I have to leave now though. My private jet is cleared for take off very shortly, so I’ll miss the main event.
That’s not a problem. We’ve loved having you here tonight. And I’m looking forward to seeing you next week.
Oh, but just before I go Eric … you mentioned earlier that next Monday night the entire world will be tuning in. What exactly have you got planned??
Eric devilishly grins.
By next Monday … it’ll all make perfect sense.
We fade out, back to ringside, with our three commentators.
It’s been one heck of a ride in Memphis tonight folks, we’ve got The King with us, and we’ve barely heard The Coach speak in the last ten minutes!!!
It’s called a silent protest Jim.
Well, if you need sponsorship, I’m willing to hand over some money for a cause like that.
Y’know what. I’m going. Cya next week J.R, lets see how you two old timers cope without the glue that holds Raw together. I’m out.
Coach rips off his headset, and storms away from the announce table with fans cheering, seeing Coach storm off, and a small ‘NA NA NA NA’ chant begins, as J.R and King laugh at Coaches expense.
They then hype next weeks show, with the two KOTR matches, as well as the announcement of the ‘McMahons Choice’ match for COTC.
**619** Rey Mysterio enters the arena, to a big response, with the main event set to take place.
Could this be Rey Mysterios chance?? Could we be looking at the next World Champion?? Find out, when we come back.
Main Event: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Christian w/ Tyson Tomko vs. Rey Mysterio
Short for a World Title match, main eventing Raw, especially between two talented superstars. The two work off a good chemistry they held for a short program early in the year, only now, both men are faces, but with the title on the line, but men pick up the intensity, putting everything on the line. Christian is able to live with the speed and trickery of Mysterio, having had him scouted from previous encounters, but Rey is able to switch up his offence to trick Captain Charisma, which leads to an intriguing main event. Mysterio comes within a whisker of victory, scoring with a hurricanrana, but Christian kicks out before three. The Challenger then looks for the 619, but Christian moves out of the way, and eventually drops Rey with a reverse DDT, but instead of covering, Christian decides to climb the ropes instead, and looks for the Frog Splash … BUT REY GETS HIS KNEES UP!!!!
Christian rolls around, holding his mid section, leaning into the ropes, which is an invite for Rey to run off the ropes, and deliver the 619!!! Rey leaps up to the top rope, and DROPS THE DIME!!!! Rey hooks the leg, feeling certain of a glorious first world title, 1...2...CHRISTIAN KICKS OUT!!! Rey holds up three fingers, pleading with the official, who tells him two. Rey holds his head in his hands, before finding the energy to get back to his feet. Mysterio runs at Captain Charisma, but Christian sees him coming, and flapjacks him into the ropes, with Rey getting caught, staggering back out, into the champions path … UNPRETTIER!!! Christian hooks the leg, with Rey flat out, 1...2...3!!!
Winner: AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - Christian @ 11:31
Christian successfully retains in his first title defence!!! Captain Charisma has his hand raised, and is presented with his title, whilst a distraught Mysterio shakes his head, having come within a second of becoming champion. He offers his hand to Christian, which is duly accepted, before Rey quietly leaves the ring, as Captain Charisma celebrates another victory, keeping his world title, as the show goes off the air.
END OF SHOW