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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-13-2014, 06:13 PM Thread Starter
Learning to break kayfabe
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WWF 2000: Why Not?

The ole' 1999 thread had to be shut down pretty early, mostly due to lack of motivation. I figured that the only way I was going to get enough motivation to consistently keep up with my bookings would be to choose the time period and the roster that I'm most familiar with and most passionate about. That being the 2000 roster. Shows will be posted in somewhat of a recap form, while PPVs will be written in full. We'll start with the 1/3/00 episode of RAW IS WAR.

WWF Roster
The Rock
Triple H
Big Show
Stone Cold Steve Austin (injured)
Mick Foley (fired)
Undertaker (injured)
Road Dogg
Billy Gunn
Kurt Angle
Chris Jericho
Jeff Hardy
Matt Hardy
Bubba Ray Dudley
D-Von Dudley
Scotty Too Hotty
Grandmaster Sexay
Val Venis
D-Lo Brown
Big Boss Man
The Godfather
Al Snow
Steve Blackman
Hardcore Holly
Crash Holly
TAKA Michinoku
Essa Rios
British Bulldog
Joey Abs
Pete Gas
Mark Henry

Trish Stratus (yet to debut)
Terri Runnels
Lita (yet to debut)
The Kat
Luna Vachon

WWF Champion - Big Show
Intercontinental Champion - Chris Jericho/Chyna (co-Champions)
WWF Tag Team Champions - New Age Outlaws
European Champion - Val Venis
Hardcore Champion - Big Boss Man
Women's Champion - The Kat

Pay-Per-View Schedule
Royal Rumble - January 23rd, 2000 from Madison Square Garden in New York, New York
No Way Out - February 27th, 2000 from Hartford Civic Center in Hartford, Connecticut
WrestleMania 2000 - April 2nd, 2000 from Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California
Backlash - April 30th, 2000 from MCI Center in Washington, D.C.
Insurrextion - May 6th, 2000 from Earls Court in London, England
Judgment Day - May 21st, 2000 from Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky
King of the Ring - June 25th, 2000 from Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts
Fully Loaded - July 23rd, 2000 from Reunion Arena in Dallas, Texas
SummerSlam - August 27th, 2000 from Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina
Unforgiven - September 24th, 2000 from First Union Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
No Mercy - October 22nd, 2000 from Pepsi Arena in Albany, New York
Survivor Series - November 19th, 2000 from Ice Palace in Tampa, Florida
Rebellion - December 2nd, 2000 from Sheffield Arena in Sheffield, England
Armageddon - December 10th, 2000 from Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center in Birmingham, Alabama
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-20-2014, 01:16 PM Thread Starter
Learning to break kayfabe
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Re: WWF 2000: Why Not?

RAW IS WAR 1/3/2000
Miami, Florida

After the intro package and the pyro, the TV audience is treated to shots of the rabid crowd, excited for the first episode of the new millennium. JR and Jerry Lawler run through the night's scheduled events, while recapping last week's happenings, including the "pink slip on a pole" match that saw The Rock defeat Mick Foley, leading to the subsequent firing of Foley.


JIM ROSS: And speak of the devil, it's the man and, well, the jezebel that orchestrated Mick Foley's firing. And wouldn't you know they've got big smiles on their faces.

JERRY LAWLER: Why shouldn't they JR? They've got everything going for them! They're on top of the world!

Stephanie, who is draped all over The Game, removes herself from her husband and ascertains a microphone which she hands to him. HHH waits for the crowd to stop booing him before he starts.

TRIPLE H: It's a brand new year. And this year, I've got a couple -- I guess you could call them -- resolutions, that I've promised to take care of in 2000. And the very first resolution that I made, is that I will become the World Wrestling Federation Champion once again. Big Show, the countdown to the millennium may be over, but the countdown to the end of your WWF Championship reign is ticking. And at the Royal Rumble, that's when it hits zero. Because at the Royal Rumble, we're going to go one-on-one for the WWF Title. And Big Show, I'm going to knock you down to size. There will be no pinfalls, there will be no submissions, there will be no disqualifications, no count-outs, and there must be a winner. Big Show, on January 23rd, it's going to be a last man standing match.

The crowd cheers the match, but transitions that into booing The Game, who smirks and chomps his gum loudly.

TRIPLE H: I suppose as long as we're on the subject of the Royal Rumble, we might as well talk about what else is going to happen in Madison Square Garden in three weeks.

Hunter passes the mic to Stephanie.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: For one thing, Mick Foley certainly won't be there.

Triple H and Steph laugh, and they share a hug before Stephanie's shrill voice rings out over the arena again.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: However, the man that retired Mick Foley -- The Rock -- will.

Now there's "Rocky" chants.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: And while The Rock may not be fired after last week, we can't make any promises about tonight. The Rock's got a very.... special, match tonight. If he loses, The Rock will be fired.

Absolutely nuclear heat.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: Don't worry guys, I think you'll like what I have to say next.

They still boo, as they don't believe Stephanie's words.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: You see, Hunter and I have been feeling generous over the last few days. Maybe it's just the holiday spirit, but we've decided that should The Rock emerge victorious tonight, he'll officially be entered into the 2000 Royal Rumble match!


Before the fans can even react to the statement, The People's Champion steps out onto the stage in his $500 unbuttoned silk shirt and black slacks with a microphone in his right hand. The Brahma Bull looks at the crowd through his sunglasses until they calm down.

TRIPLE H: Well speak of the devil!

THE ROCK: The Rock just wanted to know, who his opponent was going to be.

TRIPLE H: It's funny you should ask that Rock, because-


The roof almost comes off the place. The Game is struggling to keep his composure.

TRIPLE H: Really, Rock? Because I think, I think that it is going to matter who your opponent is. Or, should I say, your opponents? Rock, right here in your very own hometown, you'll be in a two-on-one tables match against the Dudley Boyz.

The crowd doesn't like this one little bit.

THE ROCK: Well The Rock thinks that's all just fine and dandy, because The Rock has no problem putting candy asses through tables. But what The Rock's not okay with, is you two roody poo candy asses firing Mick Foley.

LOUD cheering.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: WE didn't fire Mick Foley, Rock. That was all you.

THE ROCK: No no no no no no no no no! NO! You know your role, and shut your damn mouth!

TRIPLE H: You don't talk to my wife that way! I'm about two seconds away from coming up there and making you retire, myself!

THE ROCK: If you so much as walk halfway up this ramp, The Rock'll slap that big ass nose right off your face!

More agilation from the people.

THE ROCK: The Rock says, that he knows that The People want Mick Foley back in the WWF. But whether Mick Foley's here, or Mick Foley's not here, The Rock says that he's going to put two jabronis through tables tonight, then he's going to knock the monkey piss out of 29 other jabronis, and then, he's going to win the WWF Championship. And The Rock says that when he wins the WWF Title, he's got something special planned to do with it. The Rock's going to take that title. He's going to, you know, shine it up real nice... then -- and this is the good part -- he's going to turn that sumbitch sideways, AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP, YOUR CANDY ASS!!! IF YA SMELLLLL... WHAT THE ROCK, IS, COOKIN.

Rocky's music starts up again, and he leaves back through the curtain. Triple H and Steph shoot each other semi-concerned glances, but they eventually leave as well.

JIM ROSS: I can't believe the audacity of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon! They're making The Rock put his career on the line!

JERRY LAWLER: Big deal, he deserves it! Never in my life have I seen someone so disrespectful of authority!

*Commercial Break*

The return from the break brings us our first match of 2000. Kurt Angle comes to the ring with a microphone and his gold medals around his neck.

KURT ANGLE: Now I know that the people in Miami haven't had much to cheer for as of late, since the Dolphins are a joke-

Mostly heat, but some fans chant "The U" in honor of the University of Miami's football team.

KURT ANGLE: It's true! It is! But fret not, because I will be your savior. So remember your three I's and root me on to victory! Because I am a real American Hero, and if you follow my guidance, you might get inspired to get off your butts once in a while, and win your own Olympic Gold instead of drinking beer, eating hot dogs, and admiring mine. THANK YOU!

Kurt Angle vs Mark Henry w/ Mae Young

The battle between former Olympians leans towards the World's Strongest Man off the bat. Sexual Chocolate's power is too much for Angle to overcome at the start, as the Olympic Hero is grounded and pummeled by Henry, which also unfortunately kills the crowd. Angle builds the audience back up with a few cheap shots, most notably a low blow in order to counter out of a bear hug. Kurt can't quite put Henry away despite beating on him for a while, and his frustration visibly grows. The Olympic Hero attempts to walk out on the match, but he's stopped by Mae Young who he informs that he will "regretfully use physical force" on. Before he can act on his words, he's blasted from behind by Sexual Chocolate and brought back to ringside. The referee makes it to the count of 7, when Mark Henry is slammed into the ringpost by Kurt and collapses to the floor. Henry tries desperately to get back into the squared circle, but the ref reaches 10 and Angle remains undefeated before he is able to do so.

Winner: Kurt Angle (3:43)

JERRY LAWLER: What a great role model Kurt Angle is! That guy is someone the kids can really look up to!

JIM ROSS: I think he's a little bit of a jackass if you ask me, but that's another story.

JERRY LAWLER: What? How could you say that!?

Backstage, Chris Jericho and Chyna are playing tug-o-war with the Intercontinental Championship belt while The Kat tries to calm them down and get them together.

The camera shifts now to the APA, who are playing cards and drinking beer, as they're known for. Faarooq removes the gigantic cigar from his mouth and lets out a puff of smoke, then slams his cards down on the table.

FAAROOQ: Man I don't wanna wait for the Royal Rumble! I wanna kick the Outlaws ass tonight!

BRADSHAW: I like the way you think! That sounds like a pretty good idea to me.

Bradshaw takes a big swig out of a can of beer and slams it down on the table. The big angry Texan busts open the door to the APA's "office" and throws it shut as they go Outlaw hunting.

In the DX locker room, the Outlaws, X-Pac, Triple H and Stephanie are watching a monitor and laughing at the APA's bold statements. The Game turns to Road Dogg and Billy Gunn to talk.

TRIPLE H: You'd think Bradshaw and Faarooq would be saving their energy for later tonight.

ROAD DOGG: And why's that?

TRIPLE H: Because I just decided that they've got a match with Big Boss Man and Prince Albert.

They're all chuckling when the door opens. Triple H stands up and addresses the new man in the room.

TRIPLE H: Al Snow, just the man I wanted to see. Listen, you asked for a title match tonight, well I got you one.

AL SNOW: Great, who do I got? Big Show? Jericho or Chyna?

TRIPLE H: Slow your roll there pal, you've got a European Title match against Val Venis tonight. Besides, Big Show and Jericho and Chyna are already booked.

Snow leaves the room talking to and petting Head.

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: Oooh, I forgot to ask, what did you decide to do with Big Show tonight?

TRIPLE H: Big Show? He's gonna run the gauntlet tonight. The DX gauntlet.

The camera zooms out to get a shot of the entire room, and the sound is taken away as we see them just making small talk.

JIM ROSS: The DX gauntlet? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is Big Show going to have to fight all three members of D-Generation X?

JERRY LAWLER: And why shouldn't he? All three of them combined are about the same size as Big Show!

*Commercial Break*

Jericho makes his entrance following the commercial, with Chyna making her way out next. Jericho has the Intercontinental Title in his possession, and Chyna spends the entirety of the Mean Street Posse's entrance arguing with Jericho over who gets to keep it with them. The Posse gets into the ring and attacks Chyna while Jericho steps onto the apron and the bell rings.

Chris Jericho & Chyna w/ The Kat vs Mean Street Posse

Chyna is isolated by the sweater vest-clad team, keeping her in the corner and keeping her on the mat with sloppy strikes and an occasional basic wrestling maneuver. Jericho appears to be completely disinterested on the apron while the onslaught continues. Chyna's able to take Rodney down with a clothesline, but when she crawls to the corner to make the tag, her partner jumps off the apron to tie his boot! The Kat pushes on Y2J while the audience jeers, as Chyna is beaten on once again by Pete Gas. The 9th Wonder of the World fights back into it with stiff forearm strikes and a DDT that gets a two count, which is broken up by Joey Abs. Jericho steps back onto the apron and pantomimes a yawn, patting his hand over his mouth. All three members of The Posse put the boots to Chyna now, prompting the official to get Pete Gas and Rodney, the illegal men, out of the ring. While the ref walks to their corner to reprimand them and make them leave, Jericho steps into the ring! He springboards off the middle rope with a dropkick on Joey Abs! Jericho slides back out of the ring before the referee or Chyna even realize what happened.

Chyna and Abs both get back up at the same time, and Chyna delivers a massive POWERBOMB to Joey Abs! Chyna covers and gets the victory before Pete Gas or Rodney can intervene. Jericho snags the IC Title and walks up the ramp while The Kat and Chyna are busy celebrating the win in the ring.

Winners: Chris Jericho & Chyna (4:04)

JIM ROSS: Chyna just beat the entire Mean Street Posse, basically by herself!

JERRY LAWLER: You're full of it, JR. You saw Jericho win that match for her!

JIM ROSS: I saw that pompous ass refuse to help his partner, that's what I saw! In any event, we're going to send you backstage, where Michael Cole is standing by with the WWF Champion, The Big Show.

Michael Cole and his frosted tip hair is dwarfed by the presence of the WWF Champion. Big Show has his title slung over his right shoulder, resting there without any help.

MICHAEL COLE: Thanks JR. Big Show, Triple H told everyone that tonight you're running the DX gauntlet. But also, he said that in three weeks at the Royal Rumble, he's going to face you for the World Wrestling Federation Championship in a last man standing match! What are your thoughts on the showdown that Triple H set for the Rumble?

BIG SHOW: Michael, I don't think Triple H realizes just exactly what he's getting himself into. Do you see me? I'm 7 feet tall. I'm 500 pounds! I'm the largest athlete on the face of the planet, and if Triple H thinks that he's going to be able to knock me down once, let alone keep me down for a ten count? Well, he better think again. And as far as this so-called DX gauntlet is concerned, I don't care if I have to fight all three members of DX. Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac aren't ready to step into the land of the giants.

The crowd rewards Show with a resounding cheer as he takes the title off his shoulder, palming it in his humongous left hand and then walks out of the shot.

*Commercial Break*

Backstage, Tori is getting something from catering when Test walks in. He's talking on a phone and bumps into her by accident, not paying attention. Tori screams in fright, which leads Test to ask her what's going on. Enter Kane. The Big Red Machine, who was startled by his girlfriend's cries, sees Test and goes berserk. Kane and Test exchange blows, but Kane ultimately gets the best of him and throws him over a table in the catering room, then whips him into the wall. Tori puts her hands on Kane's chest, looking up at him with enamored puppy dog eyes. Test grabs the back of his head while Kane and Tori leave the room.

JIM ROSS: Now what was that all about?

JERRY LAWLER: Are you telling me that you didn't see the pass Test made at Tori? You shouldn't hit on another man's girlfriend, especially not Kane's.

JIM ROSS: As a matter of fact no I did not.

JERRY LAWLER: Trust me JR, I saw it. I'm an expert on stuff like that!

JIM ROSS: I'm sure you do know plenty about going after other men's girlfriends, but that's another story. In any case, we've got a slobberknocker coming right up.

The APA come out to the ring to a big reaction. Next to enter is the team of The Big Boss Man and Prince Albert. Boss Man has the Hardcore Title dangling at his side, and Prince Albert is just as hairy as ever.

Acolyte Protection Agency vs Big Boss Man & Prince Albert

These two gigantic teams have nothing but a slugfest from the opening bell onward. Bradshaw cleans Albert's clock with a big boot, but it doesn't go unanswered, as Albert drops the big Texan with a powerslam. The back and forth action comes to a screeching halt when Boss Man gets knocked for a loop by a spinebuster from Faarooq! The ensuing cover only garners a two count, though, as the New Age Outlaws run to the ring! The referee takes his eye off the action in the ring to yell at the Tag Team Champions, who are without their belts, it should be noted. Bradshaw hops off the apron and starts battering them from behind, as Faarooq comes over to join in. This proves to be the key mistake of the contest, because Boss Man clatters Faarooq with his nightstick! Faarooq staggers into the ropes, and turns around right into a BICYCLE KICK by Prince Albert! Boss Man covers and Prince Albert attacks Bradshaw in order to allow Boss Man and Albert to pick up the win.

Winners: Big Boss Man & Prince Albert (4:11)

The Outlaws retreat in a hurry while Bradshaw tends to Faarooq. Boss Man shows off his Hardcore Title to the fans, who treat him to boos in return.

JIM ROSS: Those cowardly Outlaws with yet another, hit-and-run style attack! There'll be nowhere to run once they're in Madison Square Garden at the Royal Rumble.

JERRY LAWLER: If anybody's running at the Rumble, it's gonna be The Acolytes!

JIM ROSS: I have a hard time believing that, King. The Acolytes have never seen a fight they didn't like.

The music of the unstable Al Snow plays throughout the arena. He remains petting Head, just as he was when he left The McMahon-Helmsley Regime's locker room. Al has a devious smile on his face, but he continually changes his facial expressions. Al slides into the squared circle and waits for his opponent, European Champion Val Venis. Val is just as beloved by the crowd as ever, mostly the female members. Al steps out of the ring and lets Val commence with his typical pre-match promo.

VAL VENIS: Hello, ladies.
The crowd shows various female audience members screeching loudly.

VAL VENIS: You know, The Big Valbowski, might be the champion of Europe, but there's nothing he likes more than some good American football. And just like the college team here in Miami, heh heh...
The crowd anxiously awaits the punchline.

VAL VENIS: ...and just like them, The Big Valbowski will rock you, heh heh, like a hurricane.

Val is jumped by Snow before he can even get his title belt off. The bell rings and we're underway for the European Championship.

European Championship Match
Al Snow vs Val Venis (c)

The Big Valbowski is on the receiving end of a butt-whupping as JR puts it, as he's demolished by everything in Al Snow's offensive arsenal. The demented challenger puts into play some rather impressive moves, such as a stalling brainbuster and an incredibly forceful full nelson suplex, but none of what he's able to do can put the champion away for a three count. Al doesn't let up on Val, in fact, he connects with a splash in the corner so impactful that Val is sent staggering around the ring. Val fights back a little bit, but his efforts aren't very successful. The wind is removed from the sails of Val's comeback when he makes contact with a hellacious knee lift by his twisted challenger. Al follows it up with The Snowplow, as JR and King yell about how we're moments away from crowning a new European Champion. Al covers and gets to a two count, but he crawls away from Val! He slithers into the corner and starts yelling at Head! "NO! I DON'T WANT TO! I WANT TO PIN HIM!" Is what he is heard screaming, but he appears to eventually give in to whatever Head is demanding.

Snow stands up in the corner, holding Head by its hair in his right hand. Val regains his senses and reaches a vertical base, only to get struck in the head, BY the Head! The referee calls for the disqualification, as Al lowers his head and frustratedly exits the ring, continuing his argument with Head all the way through the curtain. Val has the title draped over him by the official while he's down and out from the hard whack in the head he fell victim to.

Winner: Val Venis via DQ (5:19)

JERRY LAWLER: That guy's a real nutcase, JR! He could've won the title!

JIM ROSS: He damn sure could have. Val Venis oughta be the luckiest man in Miami tonight.

JERRY LAWLER: I'll tell ya who's not lucky, and that's The Rock and Big Show! Big Show has to run the DX Gauntlet, and The Rock's gonna get fired in his own hometown! This is going to be great!

JIM ROSS: I can't believe Triple H and the McMahon-Helmsley Regime have the audacity to fire a man in his hometown. It's an absolute shame.

JERRY LAWLER: You wanna talk about audacity JR? How about the audacity of The Rock, to be so disrespectful towards Triple H and Stephanie? How about that?

JIM ROSS: Quite frankly I agree with everything The Rock had to say! The McMahon-Helmsley Regime is abusing their power, and somebody has to put a stop to it!

JERRY LAWLER: Then why don't you do something about it?

JR simply scoffs at King's remarks as the show hits a commercial.

*Commercial Break*

When the show comes back, Crash (wielding a scale) and Hardcore Holly make their way to the ring. The alleged super heavyweights swiftly slide into the ring and waste little to no time swiping a microphone to begin their speech.

HARDCORE HOLLY: I hate to spoil the show for everybody, but we already know who's going to win the Royal Rumble in three weeks.

The audience lets out a collective "pfffttt" in response to Hardcore's outrageous claim.

HARDCORE HOLLY: I mean, how in the hell are any of those losers going to throw a four hundred pounder over the top rope?

Hardcore holds his arms out to show off his physique to the crowd, while Crash steps onto the scale and tips it all the way to the side to indicate his supposed weight.


For the second time of the night, Big Boss Man and Prince Albert make an appearance. Boss Man takes off his sunglasses and hooks them on the top of his shirt, then takes the microphone from Prince Albert and addresses the two men in the ring.

BIG BOSS MAN: I don't know what kind of drugs you yahoos are on that makes you think you're 400 pounds--probably the same ones that make you think you've got any shot of winning the Royal Rumble--
Albert and Boss Man laugh to themselves.

BIG BOSS MAN: But I really wanna know what gives you the right to call yourself "Hardcore" Holly. You ain't got one hardcore bone in your body! And if you two knuckleheads wanna talk about bein' hardcore, I guess we'll see you in the ring next week!

Boss Man's music starts back up, so he and his hairy apprentice head back through the curtain.

JIM ROSS: It looks like The Boss Man and Prince Albert just laid out a challenge for next week!

JERRY LAWLER: Thanks, captain obvious. Weren't you paying attention?

JIM ROSS: Of course I was, King. Anyway, that match promises to be a slobberknocker!

JERRY LAWLER: Speaking of slobberknockers, Big Show has to face all the members of DX tonight! Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, all in a row!

JIM ROSS: He sure does, in a match made unfairly by The McMahon-Helmsley Regime.

JERRY LAWLER: Big Show's got no chance! He's dead meat!

JIM ROSS: Be that as it may, we're going to send you backstage now, where Michael Cole is waiting for a word with the Dudley Boyz.

Cole and his horrendous haircut is once again backstage, this time without anybody next to him.

MICHAEL COLE: We've been trying to get a word with Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley, but they have yet to exit their locker-

The door that Cole is standing in front of opens loudly and the Dudleys emerge with a table. Bubba Ray props the table up against the wall, and it's revealed that in white spraypaint the word "Rocky" has been placed on the table. D-Von gets right up in the camera as Michael Cole holds the microphone to his mouth.

D-VON DUDLEY: The Rock shouldn't worry about winning the Royal Rumble! What he should be worried about is making it out of Miami, with his job!

Bubba Ray slaps D-Von on the back and replaces his half-brother's spot in front of the camera, talking in his slow, drawn-out voice.

BUBBA RAY DUDLEY: Rocky, y-y-youuu need to understaaaand what yooou're getting yourself intooo. Tonight, you're goin' through that table, and we-

Bubba points to himself, then to his half-brother.

BUBBA RAY DUDLEY: -are going to win the... the... th-th-the...

Bubba Ray is on the receiving end of a slap to the back of the head by D-Von in order to snap him out of his stuttering fit.

BUBBA RAY DUDLEY: We are going to winnnn, the Royal Rumble!

Bubba Ray walks over to the propped up table and rests his forehead on it, almost euphorically staring at this weapon of mass destruction. D-Von performs the classic "testify" taunt, finishing his spin and cross by facing the camera once again.


JR refers to the tandem as "Those Damn Dudleys" while they grab their table and walk off.

In the arena, WWF Champion The Big Show makes his gigantic presence felt, as his music hits and he trots out from behind the curtain. Big Show, in his own t-shirt, has the World Wrestling Federation Title Belt clutched in his right hand, dangling there as though it is a toy replica. Show holds up the title for the crowd to admire once he's inside the ring, then sets his pyro off and focuses his attention on the ramp to wait for his opponents.



Road Dogg sprints out of the backstage area towards the ring, getting right into the fray with an angry giant.

Big Show vs Road Dogg

Dogg wildly throws punches that have absolutely no effect on the WWF Champion. Show grows tired of toying with Road Dogg, and tosses him into the corner, where he batters Dogg's chest with hard slaps. Road Dogg sprawls around the ring, searching for any way to escape the abuse he's being subjected to at the massive hands of the world's largest athlete. Big Show stomps on Dogg any time the opportunity arises, and the big man eventually gets his opponent into the center of the ring. One half of the WWF Tag Team Champions clocks Big Show with a hard right that actually prompts selling, as Show grabs the side of his face in pain. Dogg tries to follow up with more punches, but while he shucks and jives for the crowd, he's goozled...

...SHOWSTOPPER CHOKESLAM by Big Show! Show covers him for the win.

Winner: Big Show (1:43)

Rather than Big Show's theme song playing, "Ass Man" blares over the PA. Taking more time than did his partner, Badass Billy Gunn makes his way to the ring. He hesitantly ascends up the steel steps, and waits to step through the red ropes. The second Mr. Ass gets two legs within the confines of the ring, Big Show jumps on the attack. The bell rings as Billy's being tossed around the squared circle.

Big Show vs Billy Gunn

Billy gets more of the punishment that was previously dished out to Road Dogg, for he's absolutely devastated by the 500 pound giant. Show gives out more sinister slaps to the chest of Mr. Ass, who turns bright red with the impact. Billy does manage to fit a second rope dropkick into the match, but it merely staggers the humongous redwood tree he's attempting to chop down. Big Show knocks Billy to the mat with a big boot, then upon Gunn's recovery, delivers his 2nd SHOWSTOPPER CHOKESLAM of the night, picking up another victory in remarkable fashion.

Winner: Big Show (2:07)

Road Dogg didn't even get the opportunity to leave the ringside area before the conclusion of his partner's match, so Billy is launched over the top rope and out onto Road Dogg. Charging out from the back now, is X-Pac, who comes in with a full head of steam only to be met with a beating.

Big Show vs X-Pac

Show doesn't even bother with pounding on X-Pac first, he just goes straight to the goozle and chokeslam. However, when he lifts the veteran superstar in the air, he's jumped from behind by the Outlaws. The official calls for the bell to signify Big Show's victory over X-Pac.

Winner: Big Show via DQ (0:29)

With the numbers game on DX's side, Big Show is a lot less imposing to them. They put the boots to their goliath of a target, who gets his licks in, to be fair. Show chucks Billy out of the ring to make the odds more even, but Mr. Ass uses his time on the outside of the ring to acquire a steel chair. X-Pac and Road Dogg split time in the ring getting decimated by the WWF Champion. Billy rolls into the ring with the chair and smashes Show in the back with it, but that only angers this monster further. Show turns around and gazes at Billy, who takes another swing for all he's got, to no avail.

Big Show catches the chair in his left hand and yanks it away from the Badass, letting it rest at his side as he informs Billy of exactly what he's going to do to him with it. He holds it up to start taking a swing, but with an incredible display of athleticism and agility, X-Pac leaps up and kicks it back into Big Show's face! Show staggers onto his heels and drops the chair now, giving the opening that DX needed! Billy wails on the giant with the chair, cracking him with shots over the back. They finally get him down onto his stomach, relentlessly barraging him with boots and fists.

"One two, is this on?"

The fans all rise to their feet, booing the arrival of the "number one contender" for the World Wrestling Federation Championship, Triple H. The Game is in wrestling attire, which JR and King make note of and proclaim as being odd. Hunter enters the ring and tells DX to disperse, which they do. HHH's music comes to a stop, and the referee rings the bell while Triple H measures up his opponent.

JIM ROSS: Why the hell did the bell ring? This isn't a match!

JERRY LAWLER: JR, you don't think... you don't think that Triple H was part of this gauntlet, do you?

JIM ROSS: I'll bet that's exactly what it is! Dammit! That no good sunnuva-

JERRY LAWLER: Calm down JR! Besides, this is brilliant! What a genius Triple H is! This guy deserves to be the WWF Champion!

Big Show vs Triple H

The contest begins with Big Show getting back to his feet with a tiny trickle of blood from a dainty blade job rolling down his forehead. Triple H goes in with wicked right hands to try and open up the wound better, but it doesn't do much but spread the blood onto The Game's wrist tape, in what is a very aesthetically pleasing spot. Hunter shows off the blood on his hands as Big Show lays on his back, grabbing at the ropes to get back up. Show does get up, but he's so disoriented that he walks straight into a Pedigree by Triple H. The future challenger for the WWF Title pins the champion with a hook of the leg, adding the ultimate insult to injury by grabbing the champ's belt and posing over him with it.

Winner: Triple H (1:52)

JIM ROSS: This is sickening! I hope that wasn't a precursor for things to come.

JERRY LAWLER: Of course it was, JR! Who's going to stop Triple H from winning the WWF Title at Royal Rumble? You?

JIM ROSS: Big Show ain't gonna take this lying down, and that's all I have to say on the subject of the Royal Rumble.

Show comes to on his own power and yells up the ramp at the celebrating group. He holds up his title belt to signify their match at the Rumble.

*Commercial Break*

Following the Slam of the Week presented by JVC KaboomBox, the show returns. A brief video of The McMahon-Helmsley Regime and their backstage celebration leads us back to the arena, where JR and The King set the stage for the big main event. A graphic shows on the screen hyping the Royal Rumble match, and a few superstars are seen, presumably meaning that they've been entered in the Rumble match. Among these superstars are Edge, Christian, both Hardy Boyz, both Dudley Boyz, X-Pac, Al Snow, Val Venis, and Kane. Once the picture fades off the screen, the main event gets underway inside the electric arena.

Naturally, the Dudleys enter first. With their table in tow, they are booed viciously. Bubba Ray and D-Von set the table up outside the ring, in front of the announcer's table where JR and King are sat.

Next up, of course, is The Rock. The People's Champion is greeted with a deafening ovation in his hometown. The Great One goes through his usual entrance, soaking in the adoration of the crowd as he stands perched on the second turnbuckle with his nose turned up in the air. Rocky turns his gaze towards the night's opposition, who both have their eyes locked on the Brahma Bull. Rock gestures for the duo from Dudleyville to "Just Bring It' and they do just that, charging him before he can even remove himself from the turnbuckle.

Tables Match
Dudley Boyz vs The Rock

D-Von and Bubba Ray knock Rocky down to the apron, but the People's Champ lays the smack down on both of them to fight his way into the ring. The Brahma Bull takes both men down with hard clotheslines, one of which turns D-Von Dudley inside out, to quote JR. The Great One separates D-Von from his partner in an attempt to end the match as quickly as possible, pulling D-Von to the outside where they've set up the spraypainted table.

Rock looks for the Rock Bottom to drive D-Von through the table, but Bubba Ray comes off the apron with a double ax handle that's able to break up The Great One's bid for victory. The Dudleys spend the majority of the next few minutes taking liberties on The People's Champion, wearing him out, but they're just not able to seal the deal and drive him through the table.

The time the Dudleys waste in trying to punish The Rock proves costly when Rocky catches his second wind. The smack is laid down once again, as The Rock catches Bubba with a right hand that sends him over the top rope. D-Von, who is preoccupied with propping a table up in the corner, doesn't even know what has transpired behind him, so he turns around right into a tremendous spinebuster by The Great One! Rocky stands over D-Von, nudging his arm closer to his side as the crowd screams in anticipation. Rocky tosses an elbow pad into the crowd and comes off both sets of ropes with the... PEOPLE'S ELBOW to D-Von Dudley! D-Von convulses on the mat, while The Rock measures him, waiting for him to get back up. Bubba Ray re-enters before Rock can put D-Von away though, knocking down The People's Champ from behind.

Rocky whips Bubba Ray into the table in the corner. Bubba bounces off it and comes back to the center of the ring woozily, where he's driven into the canvas with a Samoan Drop. The crowd is now almost entirely on their feet, cheering wildly as The Rock places both of his opponents in the corner with the table, Bubba Ray first, then D-Von in front of him. The People's Champ gets a running start, but alertly, the Dudleys both bail out of the way and smack Rocky in the face with the table!

The Rock hits the mat hard and the table is laid down on top of him. D-Von and Bubba Ray take the hard slab of wood off their downed competition, setting it up on its legs in perfect position, for, say, a super powerbomb. D-Von scoops The Rock up and holds him in an atomic drop-like position, looking for the handoff to his half-brother who steps onto the apron so he can ascend the ropes. The fans in attendance boo harshly as Bubba does the "3D" taunt before turning and putting one foot on the second turnbuckle. D-Von hoists up the worn-out People's Champ, BUT WAIT A MINUTE, BUBBA RAY IS PUT IN THE MANDIBLE CLAW BY MICK FOLEY, WHO HAS COME OUT OF THE AUDIENCE!

D-Von puts The Rock down and steps towards Foley, but it's too late, as Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy dives off the apron with Bubba Ray in his grasp, straight through the spraypainted table on the outside! Everybody's losing their minds, including JR and King at commentary, as D-Von turns around, right into the ROCK BOTTOM THROUGH THE TABLE by The Brahma Bull!!! The arena in Miami goes apeshit for lack of a better term, while Foley steps back over the barricade, leaving us with a bang bang as he eludes security.

Winner: The Rock (9:04)


JERRY LAWLER: Forget about The Rock, what does that idiot Mick Foley think he's doing? He's going to get himself killed if Triple H gets his hands on him!

The fans in Miami chant "Rocky... Rocky... Rocky..." with The Brahma Bull once again perched on the second rope as the show's end graphic makes an appearance in the bottom corner of the screen and the feed fades to black.

Confirmed for Royal Rumble

30-Man Royal Rumble Match
The Rock vs Kane vs X-Pac vs Edge vs Christian vs Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy vs Bubba Ray Dudley vs D-Von Dudley vs Val Venis vs Al Snow vs TBD

World Wrestling Federation Championship Last Man Standing Match
Big Show (c) vs Triple H

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
New Age Outlaws (c) vs The Acolytes

Not removing until:
[ ] everyone else removes theirs.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-25-2014, 12:16 AM Thread Starter
Learning to break kayfabe
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Re: WWF 2000: Why Not?

Orlando, Florida

The intro package concludes and the pyro shoots off around the stage and the Ovaltron. Rather than going to the arena, the camera shows us The McMahon-Helmsley Regime in their room backstage. Triple H, with Stephanie under his arm, is standing before DX, who are all sitting on a big leather couch.

TRIPLE H: Look, I'm not stupid. And I realize that on Monday night, we all put The Rock, Big Show, and The Acolytes through hell. Well tonight is about fairness. Rock, Big Show and The Acolytes have the night off. However, all four of us, are going to compete. Billy, Dogg, you two are going to step into the ring with one of the up-and-coming tag teams in the WWF.

ROAD DOGG: You know the Outlaws don't back away from a challenge, but I'm just wondering who you had in mind?

TRIPLE H: You guys will find out once you get to the ring. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

The Game turns his body language towards X-Pac, who doesn't appear to be paying attention.

TRIPLE H: Kid, listen up, because you've got a lot on your plate tonight. You're basically facing two opponents tonight.

X-PAC: WHAT? Are you kidding me? What kind of BS is this?

X-Pac stands up off the couch, but Triple H puts his hands on X-Pac's chest in an attempt to calm him down.

X-PAC: The Outlaws get a regular tag team match, and I have to face two people? What gives, man?

TRIPLE H: Calm down for a second, hear me out: I've got a feeling you're going to be okay with your match.

X-PAC: And what makes you think that? Why would I be okay with wrestling two people?

Hunter chomps down on his gum and smirks as X-Pac brings his arms to his side and gets in a less hostile position.

TRIPLE H: You weren't listening, I never said you were wrestling two people, I said you were basically wrestling two people. What I meant, is that you have a chance to win the Intercontinental Championship against one of the co-Champions: Chyna.

X-Pac smiles and sits back down on the couch.

BILLY GUNN: You said all four of us had matches, right?

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: It's funny you should say that Billy, because I was just about to tell everybody the sacrifices Triple H is going to make tonight. Hunter has so graciously allowed one of the bright young superstars in the World Wrestling Federation to step inside the ring with the future World Wrestling Federation Champion.

The Cerebral Assassin is still wearing the smirk from earlier, and he shrugs his shoulders as if it's no big deal that he's performing such an "honorable" deed.

ROAD DOGG: Well, who is it? Jericho? No, wait, it's gotta be Kurt Angle.

TRIPLE H: I won't tell you who it will be, but I can tell you it certainly won't be Kurt Angle, because he's got a match of his own tonight. We'll see if he can leave Orlando with his little undefeated streak intact after him and whoever he can find to be his tag team partner face Too Cool tonight.

X-PAC: Not trying to address the elephant in the room, but... what are you going to do about Mick Foley?

The crowd watching this unfold on the Ovaltron chime in with cheers at the mention of Foley's name. Since the segment is clearly pre-recorded, there's no pause to acknowledge the cheering.

TRIPLE H: Mick Foley? What am I going to do about MICK FOLEY? I've set a perimeter of police officers all around the arena tonight, and if he somehow gets through that, I'll take care of Mick Foley myself.

Now the audience boos while the backstage segment comes to a close. Ringside, Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler run down The Game's statements and the rest of the card as Test's music plays and he makes his way to the ring quickly and in a no-nonsense manner.

MICHAEL COLE: Here comes Test, and he'll be in for the fight of his life as he takes on Kane in a match set up from the events of RAW IS WAR this past Monday!

JERRY LAWLER: Man, I wouldn't want to be Test right now, but that's what he gets for making a move on Tori!

MICHAEL COLE: I didn't see it that way at all King, in fact I think Tori's using Kane for some kind of alterior motive!

JERRY LAWLER: Alterior motive?! How dare you accuse such an innocent young woman!?

MICHAEL COLE: I can't think of another explanation for her actions as of late, can you?

King offers no response as Kane comes down the aisle with Tori at his hip. The Big Red Machine steps over the top rope and into the ring, then sets off his pyro in the center of the squared circle. The official calls for the bell and the contest gets underway.

Test vs Kane w/ Tori

The meeting of these two powerhouses is everything that one would expect it to be. Hard-hitting strikes litter the action, in particular a throat thrust by Kane that catches Test coming off the top rope with a double ax handle and sends him down to his knees. Kane and Test go back and forth with their offense for most of the match, but in the end, Kane is simply too much for Test to overcome. The Big Red Machine hits a CHOKESLAM on Test!!! Kane looks down over his opponent, who hasn't stirred since being drilled into the mat.

Kane diverts his gaze from the stationary body of Test to his girlfriend on the outside. Tori imitates Kane's throat slash taunt, which draws a big pop from the people in the stands. Kane looks back to Test, and lifts him off the mat! Kane gets Test's dead weight up over his shoulder, and slides him into position to finish him off! Test is spiked head-first into the canvas with a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! The cover is nothing short of academic, as Kane picks up the three count and the victory despite a valiant effort by Test.
Winner: Kane (5:12)

MICHAEL COLE: What has gotten into Tori? She just instructed Kane to give Test the Tombstone, even though Kane already had the match won!

JERRY LAWLER: I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to say it Michael, don't hit on other people's girlfriends, especially not somebody the size of The Big Red Machine!

*Commercial Break*

Clad in their APA t-shirts and blue jeans, The Acolytes are playing cards and smoking in their "office", as usual. There's a sudden knock on the door, and after Bradshaw yells that "it's open", a frantic Chris Jericho enters wearing the Intercontinental Championship around his waist. He slams his hands down on the poker table authoritatively, knocking over beers and sending the cards into a disarray while he leans his entire body into a leaning position with his palms on the table supporting him.

FAAROOQ: Calm yo ass down, man! Da hell is wrong with you?

CHRIS JERICHO: Listen, I need you guys to help. Triple H is making Chyna defend the Intercontinental Title tonight against X-Pac, and I don't trust her to win. I need you two to help me keep the title! Please! I'll do anything!

Y2J hilariously puts his hands together as he begs with the APA to assist him in his time of need.

BRADSHAW: We ain't got no problem whupping X-Pac's ass, but uhh... it ain't gonna come free.

An awkward silence hits the room, while Jericho starts scanning the area with his eyes as though he's looking for a way out.

BRADSHAW: So......?


FAAROOQ: Can you pay us, or not?

CHRIS JERICHO: Sure I can pay you. Here.

Jericho pulls some assorted coins and insanely large bills from inside his kickpad. Bradshaw and Faarooq look at the money, then at Jericho with confused looks on their faces.

BRADSHAW: Canadian money?! Get your ass out of here!

CHRIS JERICHO: Guys, listen, please-

Both Acolytes stand up, which sends Jericho out of the room. Y2J sprints through the door to avoid the potential danger facing him. The Acolytes shake their heads in disgust as they sit back down and put their cigars back in their mouths.

Bradshaw starts reshuffling the cards while the camera returns to the arena.

The dynamic duo of Scotty Too Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay dance onto the top of the stage. They get close together at the very top of the ramp, then split apart to reveal Rikishi! The Big Samoan lumbers down to the ring with his friends jiving in front of him. Next to enter is Kurt Angle, who is jeered with great ferocity by the Orlando audience. Our Olympic Hero has a microphone with him, and he waits for the boos to calm down.

KURT ANGLE: I'm sorry everybody, but I have to inform you people, that this is going to be a handicap match.

Kurt pulls the mic away from his face to allow the crowd time to cheer his misfortune.

KURT ANGLE: It's true! It is. This is a 4-on-2 handicap match. That's because my partners are my integrity, my intensity, and my intelligence.

Big heat.

KURT ANGLE: Scotty, "Grandmaster", I know you guys are outnumbered, but that doesn't mean you can't overcome the odds. So I want you to give it all you've got! But just like Shaquille O'Neal left the Magic to play in Los Angeles-

The classic local sports team reference enrages the people of Orlando.

KURT ANGLE: -I'm going to leave Orlando with my undefeated streak alive and well. Thank you!


Kurt, who has removed his gold medals and is holding them in his hands, is flabbergasted by the appearance of The British Bulldog! Davey Boy, in his baggy Wranglers, stands next to Kurt at the bottom of the ramp without looking at the Olympic Hero. Bulldog slides into the ring and looks out at Angle, appearing to wait for Kurt to enter the ring himself. Angle eventually steps onto the apron and grabs the tag rope, and the match gets going.

Kurt Angle and British Bulldog vs Too Cool w/ Rikishi

Bulldog dominates both members of Too Cool for almost the complete duration of the match. Neither one of them matches up with Davey Boy's strength, so they are worn down and laid out by Bulldog. Scotty manages to knock Bulldog down to size for a moment with a swinging neckbreaker. Davey Boy is clearly gassed, so he crawls towards Angle in the corner. Kurt receives the tag and levels Scotty, then picks up where Bulldog left off, dominating Too Cool.

Kurt puts on a wrestling clinic in the middle of the ring, showing off the skills that made him an Olympic Gold Medalist. Angle wrestles circles around the exciting team, who have no answer for Kurt's freestyle prowess. The tables turn, however, when Kurt gets cocky and plays up to the crowd by mocking Too Cool's dancing! He does a goofy dance, which leads to Bulldog yelling at him, because Scotty tags in to Grandmaster Sexay behind Kurt's back! Kurt feeds off the fans laughing at his dance moves.

Grandmaster uses this opportunity to turn the tide, and Too Cool gets in control from that point onward. Despite even a tag to Bulldog by Angle, Too Cool use innovative tag team moves to keep Davey Boy at bay. The action breaks down when Kurt breaks up a pinning attempt by Grandmaster Sexay. Scotty knocks Kurt to the outside, but Scotty is tossed into the steel steps by Our Olympic Hero. Grandmaster goes up top to try and finish Bulldog off, but out of nowhere, Kurt runs up the ropes and launches Grandmaster with a belly-to-belly suplex off the top rope! Kurt gets back out of the ring in the blink of an eye, and Bulldog captures the pinfall!
Winners: Kurt Angle and British Bulldog (6:23)

The final bell may have rung, but the action is far from over. Rikishi slides into the ring and takes down Bulldog with a clothesline, then catches a charging Kurt Angle with a devastating savate kick! Angle hits the mat with a great deal of impact, then he's dragged into the corner by Rikishi! Rikishi gets on the second rope and starts bouncing, but right when he comes off for the Banzai Drop, Angle's able to avoid certain disaster by rolling to the outside. Kurt collects his medals and leaves, while Too Cool dances for a bit.

Just before heading to a commercial, we're shown an updated graphic for the Royal Rumble match. All the previously announced names are featured once again, but there's two new additions. The Rock is one of them, because of course he qualified via his victory on RAW IS WAR. The other newly revealed superstar is the massive Viscera. The commentary team doesn't make note of Big Vis's inclusion, but it is noteworthy that the 500+ pound competitor will appear at MSG.

*Commercial Break*

Returning from commercial, we once again see Chris Jericho backstage. He's standing with all three members of The Mean Street Posse, and it looks like he's trying to explain something to them when the audio becomes audible.

CHRIS JERICHO: I know you guys are street smart, you've got a bit of muscle to you, all I'm asking is that you make sure Chyna doesn't screw up and lose the Intercontinental Title.

RODNEY: What's in it for us?

CHRIS JERICHO: Whaddya mean what's in it for you? You'll get on TV for once how's that sound?

PETE GAS: Hate to break it to you Chris, but we're not helping Chyna unless there's something in it for us.

CHRIS JERICHO: I'll take you out and buy you all new sweatervests, what do you want from me?

JOEY ABS: I think maybe you'll just have to take your business elsewhere.

Y2J dejectedly walks away like a sad puppy.


The WWF Tag Team Champions come out with the fans chanting along to their theme song. Dogg and Billy waste no time getting into the ring and doing their shtick.


The crowd actually cheers them while Road Dogg passes the microphone to Mr. Ass.

BILLY GUNN: And if you ain't down with that, we got two words for ya: SUCK IT!

Billy gives the stick back to Road Dogg, who paces around the ring a little.

ROAD DOGG: And we don't give a damn whose asses, we have to kick tonight. So hurry on up and get out here!


The Outlaws struggle to prevent themselves from laughing as the evildoers from Japan stomp to the ring with flags in their hands.

New Age Outlaws vs Kaientai

Road Dogg starts in the ring first and batters Funaki. Once Dogg gets bored, which is very quickly, he switches with Billy. Billy performs a majority of the moves in this match using only one hand on Funaki. Billy allows Funaki to make the tag to TAKA, who is no more effective than his partner was. Billy delivers the jackhammer with one arm, then plants TAKA with THE FAMEASSER! The cover puts this match to rest, almost as quickly as it started.
Winners: New Age Outlaws (1:03)



JERRY LAWLER: AHHH! I'd run if I were The Outlaws!

Dogg and Billy heed Jerry Lawler's advice. Both of them wisely roll to the outside just as The Acolytes enter the ring. Bradshaw and Faarooq implore the Outlaws to join them in the confines of the ropes, but they do not oblige their will-be challengers.

MICHAEL COLE: Well there won't be anywhere for the Outlaws to run at Royal Rumble, King! They'll be forced to defend their WWF Tag Team Titles in Madison Square Garden!

JERRY LAWLER: What do The Acolytes think they're doing out here anyway? They're not in this match! Kaientai is! Ha ha!

MICHAEL COLE: They just can't wait until the Royal Rumble to get their hands on those punks, Billy Gunn and Road Dogg! And who can blame them?

For the third time tonight, we see Chris Jericho. He's talking to someone who is off screen.

CHRIS JERICHO: You're my last hope, okay? Please! I'll do anything!

Stepping into the shot is Howard Finkel, dressed casually.

CHRIS JERICHO: Harold, I need your help. Anything you can do to make sure Chyna doesn't lose the Intercontinental Title tonight for me. Anything!

HOWARD FINKEL: I'm sorry Chris, but it's my night off.


Jericho pathetically begs at Fink's feet, but instead of helping the co-IC Champ, Fink locks arms with two women, who appear to be from Godfather's ho train, and leaves to go out on the town with his women. The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla puts his head in his hands while the camera moves to Lilian Garcia, who is standing next to The Rock in the interview area.

LILIAN GARCIA: Rock, with the help of Mick Foley, you qualified yourself for the Royal Rumble on Monday night.

Rock has his head tilted in the air, but he turns his head towards the camera and transitions the mic from Lilian's hand to his own.

THE ROCK: Finally... The Rock, has come back... to Orlando.

The Great One halts for a moment, only to allow the crowd to get rid of their cheers for The Rock.

THE ROCK: Mick Foley... The Rock says thank you. The Rock says thank you on his own behalf, because of what you did in helping The Rock qualify for the Royal Rumble. But The Rock also says thank you... on behalf of the people.

"Foley! Foley! Foley!"

THE ROCK: And even though Mick Foley might not be going to the Royal Rumble, The Rock is. And right now, The Rock is making the promise of the promise of the promise, that he will walk into Madison Square Garden on January the 23rd, and The Rock is going to win the Royal Rumble, and go on to face the WWF Champion at WrestleMania! And The Rock hopes, The Rock prays, The Rock begs that the WWF Champion come WrestleMania will be Triple H. Because The Rock wants to hear the millions..... AND MILLIONS of The Rock's fans cheering his name, after he whups Triple H's candy ass all over WrestleMania!

"Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!"

THE ROCK: Oh, and The Rock almost forgot to tell you one last thing, Triple H. You can surround the arena with as much security as you want, but The Rock guaran-damn-tees that Mick Foley will be here in Orlando tonight! IF YA SMELLLLLL... WHAT THE ROCK... IS... cookin.

Rocky's theme plays while Lilian pulls the microphone away and ponders The Brahma Bull's statements.

MICHAEL COLE: Did you hear that?! The Rock said Mick Foley's going to be here tonight!

JERRY LAWLER: Of course I heard it, Michael! But I still don't see any way that Foley can get through the perimeter of security that Triple H set up outside the arena! The Rock is all talk!

*Commercial Break*

D-Lo Brown makes his entrance in the background of the sponsors that Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler quickly plug. D-Lo's head is as shaky as ever, and his entrance lighting is just as purple as it's always been. Coming out next is the deranged Al Snow, who is petting Head and grinning cheesily.

MICHAEL COLE: I just don't understand this guy, King! He had the European Championship in his grasp against Val Venis on Monday night, but he got himself disqualified instead by whacking Val with Head!

JERRY LAWLER: He was listening to the wrong Head! Val Venis has been known to do that pretty frequently himself, you know.

MICHAEL COLE: Oh, please.

Jerry cackles at his immature joke while the bell rings to kick off this contest.

D-Lo Brown vs Al Snow

Just like he did to Val Venis, Al Snow controls D-Lo Brown right from the opening bell, not allowing the veteran superstar to mount any offense whatsoever. Snow utilizes some impressive moves throughout the confrontation, namely a northern lights suplex that draws a nearfall. D-Lo clatters Al with a couple of haymakers that make his knees weak, working his way back into the fight. D-Lo gets Snow up and throws him back down with the SKY HIGH! Al is able to kick out at a very close two, and he crawls to the corner while D-Lo questions the referee.

Al has an inaudible argument with Head, then picks up his mannequin friend and conceals it at his side. D-Lo grabs Snow by the hair, and gets smashed right in the side of the face by the Head! The official calls for the bell, as Al Snow is once again disqualified for blatant use of Head.

Winner: D-Lo Brown via DQ (3:42)

JERRY LAWLER: This guy is a whackjob! What kind of idiot keeps getting themselves disqualified?

MICHAEL COLE: I'm not even going to try to guess what's going on in Al Snow's mind.

Backstage, Terri Runnels is sitting in one chair with her feet up on another, and she's applying makeup to her face. The Hardy Boyz walk in, and they don't look happy.

MATT HARDY: Terri! What the hell are you doing?

TERRI RUNNELS: I'm making myself look nice! What do you mean?

MATT HARDY: We haven't wrestled in a week! You're supposed to be our manager and book our matches, but you're just sitting here putting on makeup?

TERRI RUNNELS: Relax, guys! I'm going to get you two a match for RAW IS WAR, don't worry. Now sit down, take a load off!

Matt and Jeff nod their heads in a silent agreement to give Terri another chance to prove herself as a manager.

Back in the arena, X-Pac makes his way to the ring. The night's challenger for the Intercontinental Championship constantly crotch chops all the way to the ring, especially in setting off his pyro inside the squared circle. Then co-Intercontinental Champion Chyna comes out, accompanied by Women's Champion The Kat. As the two stand in their opposite corners, Chris Jericho's music hits and the bad mamma jamma himself comes to the ring wearing the Intercontinental Title belt. He takes a seat next to Michael Cole--who he refers to as Mitchell Cole--at the commentary table.

Intercontinental Championship Match
X-Pac vs Chyna (c) w/ The Kat

X-Pac works circles around The 9th Wonder of the World, which draws concern out of Chris Jericho on commentary. X-Pac batters Chyna with kicks to the midsection and a variety of strikes, which lead to a few two counts. Jericho is now very loudly cheering Chyna on, but to no avail, for Chyna is trapped in the corner by her experienced opponent. X-Pac gets up on the top rope to do a ten punch spot, but Chyna slams him down with a powerbomb! The ensuing pin only garners a two count, but now they're on even ground as they both fight to get back to their feet.

Chyna gets up like a house of fire, connecting with an impressive vertical suplex and a handspring elbow in the corner. She gets greedy though, and a second handspring elbow attempt is countered by a heinous yet perfectly timed spinning heel kick to the back of Chyna's head, which appears to knock her out cold. Noticing that the match may end, The Kat hops on the apron to distract the referee and prevent her mentor from being defeated. X-Pac covers, but when he realizes that the official's attention is elsewhere, he stands up. He walks towards the ref, but he's caught from behind with a bulldog by Chris Jericho! Y2J, who has obviously exited the commentary desk, connects with THE LIONSAULT on X-Pac! Chyna crawls into the cover and hooks the leg, while Kat drops off the apron to allow the referee to count the pin. X-Pac is unable to answer the three count, and Chyna retains.

Winner: Chyna (7:03)

MICHAEL COLE: Chyna remains the Intercontinental Champion!

JERRY LAWLER: Thanks to that moron Chris Jericho! X-Pac got screwed!

*Commercial Break*

Following the LUGZ Slam of the Week recapping Mick Foley putting Bubba Ray Dudley through a table on RAW IS WAR, we see an angry X-Pac barging into the DX locker room, where Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is sitting.

X-PAC: Where's Hunter?!?!

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: He's going to the arena for his match, why?!

X-PAC: Why? WHY?! Did you see what Jericho did to me?! I want him fired!

STEPHANIE MCMAHON-HELMSLEY: We'll deal with Jericho on Monday! Now just try to calm down, because I've got something that I have to pay attention to.

X-Pac barges back out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Stephanie sits down on the couch, rolls her eyes, and focuses on the television screen.

Inside the arena, Triple H makes his entrance. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler make their guesses about The Game's opponent, and following the conclusion of HHH's entrance, he grabs a microphone.

TRIPLE H: Now I promised everybody that a young, up-and-coming talent would get a shot to prove themselves against me tonight, and I intend to follow through on that promise. But I just wanted to let Mick Foley know, that if he does show up tonight, I'll beat him within an inch of his life, and maybe he'll learn his lesson and stay away for good. Now that I've got that off my chest, get my opponent out here.

JERRY LAWLER: Who do you think it is, Michael Cole? It's gotta be someone big!


Here comes... Crash Holly? While he and his scale walk to the ring, notable by his absence is his cousin Hardcore.

JERRY LAWLER: I was right! It was somebody big! 400 pounds big!

MICHAEL COLE: Oh come on, King! This is a joke!

The Game doesn't change his demeanor, which makes it even funnier as he seems like he's taking his opponent seriously.

Triple H vs Crash Holly

As you might expect, Triple H uses his strength advantage to systematically decimate Crash. Suplexes and slams put Crash on the mat, and headlocks and knee drops keep him there. Hunter pounds Crash with fists to the face, one that busts the little pest open. HHH takes his time now, as there's basically no way Crash can get back into the matchup at this point.


MICK FOLEY BURSTS THROUGH THE CURTAIN IN HIS FLANNEL! Triple H grows absolutely infuriated and charges up the ramp at Foley while the crowd roars. Hunter and Foley trade blows, but the ref neglects to count him out while he's checking on Crash's condition.

Winner: No Contest (2:14)

Foley and HHH go back and forth on the ramp, and the referee finally takes notice and throws the match out. Foley and HHH keep going at it when Foley's jumped from behind by the New Age Outlaws! Dogg and Billy put the boots to Foley, and a wave of security follows them down the ramp. As they go to handcuff Foley, Big Show's music hits and he lumbers to the top of the ramp!

The WWF Champion makes his first appearance of the night, as he stomps towards DX and the police officers that have placed the cuffs on Foley. Big Show clubs one of the officers with a right hand, and launches a few others off the side of the ramp. Triple H and The Outlaws take this time to get in a few shots on the helpless Foley. They have to quickly backpedal down the ramp, however, as the massive Big Show has finally disposed of all the officers and is coming towards the three panicked members of D-Generation X.

Before he arrives though, he's picked off by a steel chair to the back from X-Pac! Show drops to a knee, and the four jump on him like a pack of dogs. Show walks through the punishment and rolls into the ring, starting a brawl with the four of them within the ropes. They get Big Show stuck in the corner, when all of a sudden...


The crowd explodes with adoration for The People's Champion, who walks down the ramp talking trash to DX. He stops halfway down the aisle, where Mick Foley is laid out with his hands constrained behind his back. Rock takes something from the hands of one of the downed police officers, and uses it to free Foley from his cuffs!

Rock and Foley enter the ring, and clean house on DX! Triple H gets his with a hard right from Rocky and rolls out of the ring immediately. Big Show hip tosses Billy Gunn to the outside, and Foley connects with a clothesline that sends Road Dogg over the top and down to the floor! Rocky waits for X-Pac to return to his feet, and sends him back down with the ROCK BOTTOM!

DX pulls X-Pac to the safety of the outside and retreats up the ramp, while The Rock and Big Show stay in the ring with the trespassing Foley. Rocky looks down over DX from the middle rope, while Big Show flaunts the WWF Championship belt. The camera shows DX in a rage as the feed fades to black and the show exits the air.

Confirmed for Royal Rumble

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
New Age Outlaws (c) vs The Acolytes

World Wrestling Federation Championship Last Man Standing Match
Big Show (c) vs Triple H

30-Man Royal Rumble Match
The Rock vs Kane vs X-Pac vs Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy vs Edge vs Christian vs Bubba Ray Dudley vs D-Von Dudley vs Al Snow vs Val Venis vs Viscera vs TBD

Not removing until:
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Last edited by RestHolder; 12-25-2014 at 12:24 AM.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-31-2014, 03:07 AM Thread Starter
Learning to break kayfabe
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Re: WWF 2000: Why Not?

Sunday Night Heat 1/9/00


Steve Blackman def. Gangrel

Edge and Christian def. Local Talent

Viscera def. The Godfather

RAW IS WAR 1/10/00 Preview

Despite being fired, Mick Foley has appeared on both RAW and SmackDown in the past week and has been a thorn in The Game's side. With a last man standing match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship on the horizon, what will Triple H do to get Mick Foley out of the way for good before Royal Rumble?

The Rock has qualified for the Royal Rumble match in Madison Square Garden, but so have quite a few other superstars. Among these names are Edge, Christian, the Dudley Boyz, the Hardy Boyz, Viscera, Al Snow and Val Venis. Not only will those men be gunning to eliminate The People's Champion, but so will the superstars that have yet to be announced for the match, and we'll find out who some of those superstars are this week on RAW IS WAR.

Road Dogg and Billy Gunn have done everything in their power to duck and cheap shot The Acolytes. Come Royal Rumble, they can duck no longer, but one has to wonder how they'll make their inevitable attempt to weaken Bradshaw and Faarooq before their collision in New York City on January 23rd.

Chris Jericho crossed the McMahon-Helmsley Regime on SmackDown when he cost X-Pac a chance at the Intercontinental Championship in his match with Chyna. As payback, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley has personally booked a non-title match between Chris Jericho and The Big Red Machine, Kane.

The British Bulldog surprisingly came to the aid of The Olympic Hero Kurt Angle, much to the dismay of Too Cool who proved to be their victims on SmackDown. However, British Bulldog has found himself in a fight now, as he'll go toe-to-toe with Rikishi on RAW IS WAR.

Crash and Hardcore Holly were challenged to a tag team match last week by Big Boss Man and Prince Albert, and that match will take place on RAW IS WAR. However, one has to be concerned for the condition of Crash Holly after the savage beating he sustained at the hands of Triple H on SmackDown.

Announced Matches
Chris Jericho vs Kane
British Bulldog vs Rikishi
Edge and Christian vs Dudley Boyz
Holly Cousins vs Big Boss Man and Prince Albert

Not removing until:
[ ] everyone else removes theirs.
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