RAW IS WAR 1/3/2000
After the intro package and the pyro, the TV audience is treated to shots of the rabid crowd, excited for the first episode of the new millennium. JR and Jerry Lawler run through the night's scheduled events, while recapping last week's happenings, including the "pink slip on a pole" match that saw The Rock defeat Mick Foley, leading to the subsequent firing of Foley.
And speak of the devil, it's the man and, well, the jezebel
that orchestrated Mick Foley's firing. And wouldn't you know they've got big smiles on their faces.
Why shouldn't they JR? They've got everything going for them! They're on top of the world!
Stephanie, who is draped all over The Game, removes herself from her husband and ascertains a microphone which she hands to him. HHH waits for the crowd to stop booing him before he starts.
It's a brand new year. And this year, I've got a couple -- I guess you could call them -- resolutions, that I've promised to take care of in 2000. And the very first resolution that I made, is that I will become
the World Wrestling Federation Champion once again. Big Show, the countdown to the millennium may be over, but the countdown to the end of your WWF Championship reign is ticking. And at the Royal Rumble, that's when it hits zero. Because at the Royal Rumble, we're going to go one-on-one for the WWF Title. And Big Show, I'm going to knock you down to size. There will be no pinfalls, there will be no submissions, there will be no disqualifications, no count-outs, and there must be a winner
. Big Show, on January 23rd, it's going to be a last man standing match.
The crowd cheers the match, but transitions that into booing The Game, who smirks and chomps his gum loudly.
I suppose as long as we're on the subject of the Royal Rumble, we might as well talk about what else is going to happen in Madison Square Garden in three weeks.
Hunter passes the mic to Stephanie.
For one thing, Mick Foley certainly won't be there.
Triple H and Steph laugh, and they share a hug before Stephanie's shrill voice rings out over the arena again.
However, the man that retired Mick Foley -- The Rock -- will.
Now there's "Rocky" chants.
And while The Rock may not be fired after last week, we can't make any promises about tonight. The Rock's got a very.... special, match tonight. If he loses, The Rock will be fired.
Absolutely nuclear heat.
Don't worry guys, I think you'll like what I have to say next.
They still boo, as they don't believe Stephanie's words.
You see, Hunter and I have been feeling generous over the last few days. Maybe it's just the holiday spirit, but we've decided that should The Rock emerge victorious tonight, he'll officially be entered into the 2000 Royal Rumble match!
"KNOW YOUR ROLE"
Before the fans can even react to the statement, The People's Champion steps out onto the stage in his $500 unbuttoned silk shirt and black slacks with a microphone in his right hand. The Brahma Bull looks at the crowd through his sunglasses until they calm down.
Well speak of the devil!
The Rock just wanted to know, who his opponent was going to be.
It's funny you should ask that Rock, because-
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HIS OPPONENTS ARE!!!
The roof almost comes off the place. The Game is struggling to keep his composure.
Really, Rock? Because I think, I think that it is
going to matter who your opponent is. Or, should I say, your opponents
? Rock, right here in your very own hometown, you'll be in a two-on-one tables match against the Dudley Boyz.
The crowd doesn't like this one little bit.
Well The Rock thinks that's all just fine and dandy, because The Rock has no problem putting candy asses through tables. But what The Rock's not okay with, is you two roody poo
candy asses firing Mick Foley.
WE didn't fire Mick Foley, Rock. That was all you.
No no no no no no no no no! NO! You know your role, and shut your damn mouth!
You don't talk to my wife that way! I'm about two seconds away from coming up there and making you retire, myself!
If you so much as walk halfway up this ramp, The Rock'll slap that big ass nose right off your face!
More agilation from the people.
The Rock says, that he knows that The People want Mick Foley back in the WWF. But whether Mick Foley's here, or Mick Foley's not here, The Rock says that he's going to put two jabronis through tables tonight, then he's going to knock the monkey piss out of 29 other jabronis, and then, he's going to win the WWF Championship. And The Rock says that when he wins the WWF Title, he's got something special planned to do with it. The Rock's going to take that title. He's going to, you know, shine it up real nice... then -- and this is the good part -- he's going to turn that sumbitch sideways, AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP, YOUR CANDY ASS
!!! IF YA SMELLLLL... WHAT THE ROCK, IS, COOKIN
Rocky's music starts up again, and he leaves back through the curtain. Triple H and Steph shoot each other semi-concerned glances, but they eventually leave as well.
I can't believe the audacity of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon! They're making The Rock put his career on the line!
Big deal, he deserves it! Never in my life have I seen someone so disrespectful of authority!
The return from the break brings us our first match of 2000. Kurt Angle comes to the ring with a microphone and his gold medals around his neck.
Now I know that the people in Miami haven't had much to cheer for as of late, since the Dolphins are a joke-
Mostly heat, but some fans chant "The U" in honor of the University of Miami's football team.
It's true! It is! But fret not, because I
will be your savior. So remember your three I's and root me on to victory! Because I am a real American Hero, and if you follow my guidance, you might get inspired to get off your butts once in a while, and win your own Olympic Gold instead of drinking beer, eating hot dogs, and admiring mine. THANK YOU!
Kurt Angle vs Mark Henry w/ Mae Young
The battle between former Olympians leans towards the World's Strongest Man off the bat. Sexual Chocolate's power is too much for Angle to overcome at the start, as the Olympic Hero is grounded and pummeled by Henry, which also unfortunately kills the crowd. Angle builds the audience back up with a few cheap shots, most notably a low blow in order to counter out of a bear hug. Kurt can't quite put Henry away despite beating on him for a while, and his frustration visibly grows. The Olympic Hero attempts to walk out on the match, but he's stopped by Mae Young who he informs that he will "regretfully use physical force" on. Before he can act on his words, he's blasted from behind by Sexual Chocolate and brought back to ringside. The referee makes it to the count of 7, when Mark Henry is slammed into the ringpost by Kurt and collapses to the floor. Henry tries desperately to get back into the squared circle, but the ref reaches 10 and Angle remains undefeated before he is able to do so.
Winner: Kurt Angle (3:43)
What a great role model Kurt Angle is! That guy is someone the kids can really look up to!
I think he's a little bit of a jackass if you ask me, but that's another story.
What? How could you say that!?
Backstage, Chris Jericho and Chyna are playing tug-o-war with the Intercontinental Championship belt while The Kat tries to calm them down and get them together.
The camera shifts now to the APA, who are playing cards and drinking beer, as they're known for. Faarooq removes the gigantic cigar from his mouth and lets out a puff of smoke, then slams his cards down on the table.
Man I don't wanna wait for the Royal Rumble! I wanna kick the Outlaws ass tonight!
I like the way you think! That sounds like a pretty good idea to me.
Bradshaw takes a big swig out of a can of beer and slams it down on the table. The big angry Texan busts open the door to the APA's "office" and throws it shut as they go Outlaw hunting.
In the DX locker room, the Outlaws, X-Pac, Triple H and Stephanie are watching a monitor and laughing at the APA's bold statements. The Game turns to Road Dogg and Billy Gunn to talk.
You'd think Bradshaw and Faarooq would be saving their energy for later tonight.
And why's that?
Because I just decided that they've got a match with Big Boss Man and Prince Albert.
They're all chuckling when the door opens. Triple H stands up and addresses the new man in the room.
Al Snow, just the man I wanted to see. Listen, you asked for a title match tonight, well I got you one.
Great, who do I got? Big Show? Jericho or Chyna?
Slow your roll there pal, you've got a European Title match against Val Venis tonight. Besides, Big Show and Jericho and Chyna are already booked.
Snow leaves the room talking to and petting Head.
Oooh, I forgot to ask, what did you decide to do with Big Show tonight?
Big Show? He's gonna run the gauntlet tonight. The DX gauntlet.
The camera zooms out to get a shot of the entire room, and the sound is taken away as we see them just making small talk.
The DX gauntlet? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is Big Show going to have to fight all three members of D-Generation X?
And why shouldn't he? All three of them combined are about the same size as Big Show!
Jericho makes his entrance following the commercial, with Chyna making her way out next. Jericho has the Intercontinental Title in his possession, and Chyna spends the entirety of the Mean Street Posse's entrance arguing with Jericho over who gets to keep it with them. The Posse gets into the ring and attacks Chyna while Jericho steps onto the apron and the bell rings.
Chris Jericho & Chyna w/ The Kat vs Mean Street Posse
Chyna is isolated by the sweater vest-clad team, keeping her in the corner and keeping her on the mat with sloppy strikes and an occasional basic wrestling maneuver. Jericho appears to be completely disinterested on the apron while the onslaught continues. Chyna's able to take Rodney down with a clothesline, but when she crawls to the corner to make the tag, her partner jumps off the apron to tie his boot! The Kat pushes on Y2J while the audience jeers, as Chyna is beaten on once again by Pete Gas. The 9th Wonder of the World fights back into it with stiff forearm strikes and a DDT that gets a two count, which is broken up by Joey Abs. Jericho steps back onto the apron and pantomimes a yawn, patting his hand over his mouth. All three members of The Posse put the boots to Chyna now, prompting the official to get Pete Gas and Rodney, the illegal men, out of the ring. While the ref walks to their corner to reprimand them and make them leave, Jericho steps into the ring! He springboards off the middle rope with a dropkick on Joey Abs! Jericho slides back out of the ring before the referee or Chyna even realize what happened.
Chyna and Abs both get back up at the same time, and Chyna delivers a massive POWERBOMB
to Joey Abs! Chyna covers and gets the victory before Pete Gas or Rodney can intervene. Jericho snags the IC Title and walks up the ramp while The Kat and Chyna are busy celebrating the win in the ring.
Winners: Chris Jericho & Chyna (4:04)
Chyna just beat the entire Mean Street Posse, basically by herself!
You're full of it, JR. You saw Jericho win that match for her!
I saw that pompous ass refuse to help his partner, that's what I saw! In any event, we're going to send you backstage, where Michael Cole is standing by with the WWF Champion, The Big Show.
Michael Cole and his frosted tip hair is dwarfed by the presence of the WWF Champion. Big Show has his title slung over his right shoulder, resting there without any help.
Thanks JR. Big Show, Triple H told everyone that tonight you're running the DX gauntlet. But also, he said that in three weeks at the Royal Rumble, he's going to face you for the World Wrestling Federation Championship in a last man standing match! What are your thoughts on the showdown that Triple H set for the Rumble?
Michael, I don't think Triple H realizes just exactly what he's getting himself into. Do you see me? I'm 7 feet tall. I'm 500 pounds! I'm the largest athlete on the face of the planet, and if Triple H thinks that he's going to be able to knock me down once, let alone keep me down for a ten count? Well, he better think again. And as far as this so-called DX gauntlet is concerned, I don't care if I have to fight all three members of DX. Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac aren't ready to step into the land of the giants.
The crowd rewards Show with a resounding cheer as he takes the title off his shoulder, palming it in his humongous left hand and then walks out of the shot.
Backstage, Tori is getting something from catering when Test walks in. He's talking on a phone and bumps into her by accident, not paying attention. Tori screams in fright, which leads Test to ask her what's going on. Enter Kane. The Big Red Machine, who was startled by his girlfriend's cries, sees Test and goes berserk. Kane and Test exchange blows, but Kane ultimately gets the best of him and throws him over a table in the catering room, then whips him into the wall. Tori puts her hands on Kane's chest, looking up at him with enamored puppy dog eyes. Test grabs the back of his head while Kane and Tori leave the room.
Now what was that all about?
Are you telling me that you didn't see the pass Test made at Tori? You shouldn't hit on another man's girlfriend, especially not Kane's.
As a matter of fact no I did not.
Trust me JR, I saw it. I'm an expert on stuff like that!
I'm sure you do know plenty about going after other men's girlfriends, but that's another story. In any case, we've got a slobberknocker coming right up.
The APA come out to the ring to a big reaction. Next to enter is the team of The Big Boss Man and Prince Albert. Boss Man has the Hardcore Title dangling at his side, and Prince Albert is just as hairy as ever.
Acolyte Protection Agency vs Big Boss Man & Prince Albert
These two gigantic teams have nothing but a slugfest from the opening bell onward. Bradshaw cleans Albert's clock with a big boot, but it doesn't go unanswered, as Albert drops the big Texan with a powerslam. The back and forth action comes to a screeching halt when Boss Man gets knocked for a loop by a spinebuster from Faarooq! The ensuing cover only garners a two count, though, as the New Age Outlaws run to the ring! The referee takes his eye off the action in the ring to yell at the Tag Team Champions, who are without their belts, it should be noted. Bradshaw hops off the apron and starts battering them from behind, as Faarooq comes over to join in. This proves to be the key mistake of the contest, because Boss Man clatters Faarooq with his nightstick! Faarooq staggers into the ropes, and turns around right into a BICYCLE KICK
by Prince Albert! Boss Man covers and Prince Albert attacks Bradshaw in order to allow Boss Man and Albert to pick up the win.
Winners: Big Boss Man & Prince Albert (4:11)
The Outlaws retreat in a hurry while Bradshaw tends to Faarooq. Boss Man shows off his Hardcore Title to the fans, who treat him to boos in return.
Those cowardly Outlaws with yet another, hit-and-run style attack! There'll be nowhere to run once they're in Madison Square Garden at the Royal Rumble.
If anybody's running at the Rumble, it's gonna be The Acolytes!
I have a hard time believing that, King. The Acolytes have never seen a fight they didn't like.
The music of the unstable Al Snow plays throughout the arena. He remains petting Head, just as he was when he left The McMahon-Helmsley Regime's locker room. Al has a devious smile on his face, but he continually changes his facial expressions. Al slides into the squared circle and waits for his opponent, European Champion Val Venis. Val is just as beloved by the crowd as ever, mostly the female members. Al steps out of the ring and lets Val commence with his typical pre-match promo.
The crowd shows various female audience members screeching loudly.
You know, The Big Valbowski, might be the champion of Europe, but there's nothing he likes more than some good American football. And just like the college team here in Miami, heh heh...
The crowd anxiously awaits the punchline.
...and just like them, The Big Valbowski will rock you, heh heh, like a hurricane.
Val is jumped by Snow before he can even get his title belt off. The bell rings and we're underway for the European Championship.
European Championship Match
Al Snow vs Val Venis (c)
The Big Valbowski is on the receiving end of a butt-whupping as JR puts it, as he's demolished by everything in Al Snow's offensive arsenal. The demented challenger puts into play some rather impressive moves, such as a stalling brainbuster and an incredibly forceful full nelson suplex, but none of what he's able to do can put the champion away for a three count. Al doesn't let up on Val, in fact, he connects with a splash in the corner so impactful that Val is sent staggering around the ring. Val fights back a little bit, but his efforts aren't very successful. The wind is removed from the sails of Val's comeback when he makes contact with a hellacious knee lift by his twisted challenger. Al follows it up with The Snowplow, as JR and King yell about how we're moments away from crowning a new European Champion. Al covers and gets to a two count, but he crawls away from Val! He slithers into the corner and starts yelling at Head! "NO! I DON'T WANT TO! I WANT TO PIN HIM!" Is what he is heard screaming, but he appears to eventually give in to whatever Head is demanding.
Snow stands up in the corner, holding Head by its hair in his right hand. Val regains his senses and reaches a vertical base, only to get struck in the head, BY the Head! The referee calls for the disqualification, as Al lowers his head and frustratedly exits the ring, continuing his argument with Head all the way through the curtain. Val has the title draped over him by the official while he's down and out from the hard whack in the head he fell victim to.
Winner: Val Venis via DQ (5:19)
That guy's a real nutcase, JR! He could've won the title!
He damn sure could have. Val Venis oughta be the luckiest man in Miami tonight.
I'll tell ya who's not lucky, and that's The Rock and Big Show! Big Show has to run the DX Gauntlet, and The Rock's gonna get fired in his own hometown! This is going to be great!
I can't believe Triple H and the McMahon-Helmsley Regime have the audacity to fire a man in his hometown. It's an absolute shame.
You wanna talk about audacity JR? How about the audacity of The Rock, to be so disrespectful towards Triple H and Stephanie? How about that?
Quite frankly I agree with everything The Rock had to say! The McMahon-Helmsley Regime is abusing their power, and somebody has to put a stop to it!
Then why don't you do something about it?
JR simply scoffs at King's remarks as the show hits a commercial.
When the show comes back, Crash (wielding a scale) and Hardcore Holly make their way to the ring. The alleged super heavyweights swiftly slide into the ring and waste little to no time swiping a microphone to begin their speech.
I hate to spoil the show for everybody, but we already know who's going to win the Royal Rumble in three weeks.
The audience lets out a collective "pfffttt" in response to Hardcore's outrageous claim.
I mean, how in the hell are any of those losers going to throw a four hundred pounder over the top rope?
Hardcore holds his arms out to show off his physique to the crowd, while Crash steps onto the scale and tips it all the way to the side to indicate his supposed weight.
For the second time of the night, Big Boss Man and Prince Albert make an appearance. Boss Man takes off his sunglasses and hooks them on the top of his shirt, then takes the microphone from Prince Albert and addresses the two men in the ring.
BIG BOSS MAN:
I don't know what kind of drugs you yahoos are on that makes you think you're 400 pounds--probably the same ones that make you think you've got any shot of winning the Royal Rumble--
Albert and Boss Man laugh to themselves.
BIG BOSS MAN:
But I really wanna know what gives you the right to call yourself "Hardcore" Holly. You ain't got one hardcore bone in your body! And if you two knuckleheads wanna talk about bein' hardcore, I guess we'll see you in the ring next week!
Boss Man's music starts back up, so he and his hairy apprentice head back through the curtain.
It looks like The Boss Man and Prince Albert just laid out a challenge for next week!
Thanks, captain obvious. Weren't you paying attention?
Of course I was, King. Anyway, that match promises to be a slobberknocker!
Speaking of slobberknockers, Big Show has to face all the members of DX tonight! Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, all in a row!
He sure does, in a match made unfairly by The McMahon-Helmsley Regime.
Big Show's got no chance! He's dead meat!
Be that as it may, we're going to send you backstage now, where Michael Cole is waiting for a word with the Dudley Boyz.
Cole and his horrendous haircut is once again backstage, this time without anybody next to him.
We've been trying to get a word with Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley, but they have yet to exit their locker-
The door that Cole is standing in front of opens loudly and the Dudleys emerge with a table. Bubba Ray props the table up against the wall, and it's revealed that in white spraypaint the word "Rocky" has been placed on the table. D-Von gets right up in the camera as Michael Cole holds the microphone to his mouth.
The Rock shouldn't worry about winning the Royal Rumble! What he should be worried about is making it out of Miami, with his job!
Bubba Ray slaps D-Von on the back and replaces his half-brother's spot in front of the camera, talking in his slow, drawn-out voice.
BUBBA RAY DUDLEY:
Rocky, y-y-youuu need to understaaaand what yooou're getting yourself intooo. Tonight, you're goin' through that table, and we-
Bubba points to himself, then to his half-brother.
BUBBA RAY DUDLEY:
-are going to win the... the... th-th-the...
Bubba Ray is on the receiving end of a slap to the back of the head by D-Von in order to snap him out of his stuttering fit.
BUBBA RAY DUDLEY:
We are going to winnnn, the Royal Rumble!
Bubba Ray walks over to the propped up table and rests his forehead on it, almost euphorically staring at this weapon of mass destruction. D-Von performs the classic "testify" taunt, finishing his spin and cross by facing the camera once again.
D-VON DUDLEY: OH MY BROTHA! TESTIFYYYYYYYY!!!!!
JR refers to the tandem as "Those Damn Dudleys" while they grab their table and walk off.
In the arena, WWF Champion The Big Show makes his gigantic presence felt, as his music hits and he trots out from behind the curtain. Big Show, in his own t-shirt, has the World Wrestling Federation Title Belt clutched in his right hand, dangling there as though it is a toy replica. Show holds up the title for the crowd to admire once he's inside the ring, then sets his pyro off and focuses his attention on the ramp to wait for his opponents.
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW?...
...YO ASS BETTA CALL SOMEBODAAAAAAY!!!
Road Dogg sprints out of the backstage area towards the ring, getting right into the fray with an angry giant.
Big Show vs Road Dogg
Dogg wildly throws punches that have absolutely no effect on the WWF Champion. Show grows tired of toying with Road Dogg, and tosses him into the corner, where he batters Dogg's chest with hard slaps. Road Dogg sprawls around the ring, searching for any way to escape the abuse he's being subjected to at the massive hands of the world's largest athlete. Big Show stomps on Dogg any time the opportunity arises, and the big man eventually gets his opponent into the center of the ring. One half of the WWF Tag Team Champions clocks Big Show with a hard right that actually prompts selling, as Show grabs the side of his face in pain. Dogg tries to follow up with more punches, but while he shucks and jives for the crowd, he's goozled...
...SHOWSTOPPER CHOKESLAM by Big Show! Show covers him for the win.
Winner: Big Show (1:43)
Rather than Big Show's theme song playing, "Ass Man" blares over the PA. Taking more time than did his partner, Badass Billy Gunn makes his way to the ring. He hesitantly ascends up the steel steps, and waits to step through the red ropes. The second Mr. Ass gets two legs within the confines of the ring, Big Show jumps on the attack. The bell rings as Billy's being tossed around the squared circle.
Big Show vs Billy Gunn
Billy gets more of the punishment that was previously dished out to Road Dogg, for he's absolutely devastated by the 500 pound giant. Show gives out more sinister slaps to the chest of Mr. Ass, who turns bright red with the impact. Billy does manage to fit a second rope dropkick into the match, but it merely staggers the humongous redwood tree he's attempting to chop down. Big Show knocks Billy to the mat with a big boot, then upon Gunn's recovery, delivers his 2nd SHOWSTOPPER CHOKESLAM of the night, picking up another victory in remarkable fashion.
Winner: Big Show (2:07)
Road Dogg didn't even get the opportunity to leave the ringside area before the conclusion of his partner's match, so Billy is launched over the top rope and out onto Road Dogg. Charging out from the back now, is X-Pac, who comes in with a full head of steam only to be met with a beating.
Big Show vs X-Pac
Show doesn't even bother with pounding on X-Pac first, he just goes straight to the goozle and chokeslam. However, when he lifts the veteran superstar in the air, he's jumped from behind by the Outlaws. The official calls for the bell to signify Big Show's victory over X-Pac.
Winner: Big Show via DQ (0:29)
With the numbers game on DX's side, Big Show is a lot less imposing to them. They put the boots to their goliath of a target, who gets his licks in, to be fair. Show chucks Billy out of the ring to make the odds more even, but Mr. Ass uses his time on the outside of the ring to acquire a steel chair. X-Pac and Road Dogg split time in the ring getting decimated by the WWF Champion. Billy rolls into the ring with the chair and smashes Show in the back with it, but that only angers this monster further. Show turns around and gazes at Billy, who takes another swing for all he's got, to no avail.
Big Show catches the chair in his left hand and yanks it away from the Badass, letting it rest at his side as he informs Billy of exactly what he's going to do to him with it. He holds it up to start taking a swing, but with an incredible display of athleticism and agility, X-Pac leaps up and kicks it back into Big Show's face! Show staggers onto his heels and drops the chair now, giving the opening that DX needed! Billy wails on the giant with the chair, cracking him with shots over the back. They finally get him down onto his stomach, relentlessly barraging him with boots and fists.
"One two, is this on?"
The fans all rise to their feet, booing the arrival of the "number one contender" for the World Wrestling Federation Championship, Triple H. The Game is in wrestling attire, which JR and King make note of and proclaim as being odd. Hunter enters the ring and tells DX to disperse, which they do. HHH's music comes to a stop, and the referee rings the bell while Triple H measures up his opponent.
Why the hell did the bell ring? This isn't a match!
JR, you don't think... you don't think that Triple H was part of this gauntlet, do you?
I'll bet that's exactly what it is! Dammit! That no good sunnuva-
Calm down JR! Besides, this is brilliant! What a genius Triple H is! This guy deserves
to be the WWF Champion!
Big Show vs Triple H
The contest begins with Big Show getting back to his feet with a tiny trickle of blood from a dainty blade job rolling down his forehead. Triple H goes in with wicked right hands to try and open up the wound better, but it doesn't do much but spread the blood onto The Game's wrist tape, in what is a very aesthetically pleasing spot. Hunter shows off the blood on his hands as Big Show lays on his back, grabbing at the ropes to get back up. Show does get up, but he's so disoriented that he walks straight into a Pedigree by Triple H. The future challenger for the WWF Title pins the champion with a hook of the leg, adding the ultimate insult to injury by grabbing the champ's belt and posing over him with it.
Winner: Triple H (1:52)
This is sickening! I hope that wasn't a precursor for things to come.
Of course it was, JR! Who's going to stop Triple H from winning the WWF Title at Royal Rumble? You?
Big Show ain't gonna take this lying down, and that's all I have to say on the subject of the Royal Rumble.
Show comes to on his own power and yells up the ramp at the celebrating group. He holds up his title belt to signify their match at the Rumble.
Following the Slam of the Week presented by JVC KaboomBox, the show returns. A brief video of The McMahon-Helmsley Regime and their backstage celebration leads us back to the arena, where JR and The King set the stage for the big main event. A graphic shows on the screen hyping the Royal Rumble match, and a few superstars are seen, presumably meaning that they've been entered in the Rumble match. Among these superstars are Edge, Christian, both Hardy Boyz, both Dudley Boyz, X-Pac, Al Snow, Val Venis, and Kane. Once the picture fades off the screen, the main event gets underway inside the electric arena.
Naturally, the Dudleys enter first. With their table in tow, they are booed viciously. Bubba Ray and D-Von set the table up outside the ring, in front of the announcer's table where JR and King are sat.
Next up, of course, is The Rock. The People's Champion is greeted with a deafening ovation in his hometown. The Great One goes through his usual entrance, soaking in the adoration of the crowd as he stands perched on the second turnbuckle with his nose turned up in the air. Rocky turns his gaze towards the night's opposition, who both have their eyes locked on the Brahma Bull. Rock gestures for the duo from Dudleyville to "Just Bring It' and they do just that, charging him before he can even remove himself from the turnbuckle.
Dudley Boyz vs The Rock
D-Von and Bubba Ray knock Rocky down to the apron, but the People's Champ lays the smack down on both of them to fight his way into the ring. The Brahma Bull takes both men down with hard clotheslines, one of which turns D-Von Dudley inside out, to quote JR. The Great One separates D-Von from his partner in an attempt to end the match as quickly as possible, pulling D-Von to the outside where they've set up the spraypainted table.
Rock looks for the Rock Bottom to drive D-Von through the table, but Bubba Ray comes off the apron with a double ax handle that's able to break up The Great One's bid for victory. The Dudleys spend the majority of the next few minutes taking liberties on The People's Champion, wearing him out, but they're just not able to seal the deal and drive him through the table.
The time the Dudleys waste in trying to punish The Rock proves costly when Rocky catches his second wind. The smack is laid down once again, as The Rock catches Bubba with a right hand that sends him over the top rope. D-Von, who is preoccupied with propping a table up in the corner, doesn't even know what has transpired behind him, so he turns around right into a tremendous spinebuster by The Great One! Rocky stands over D-Von, nudging his arm closer to his side as the crowd screams in anticipation. Rocky tosses an elbow pad into the crowd and comes off both sets of ropes with the... PEOPLE'S ELBOW to D-Von Dudley! D-Von convulses on the mat, while The Rock measures him, waiting for him to get back up. Bubba Ray re-enters before Rock can put D-Von away though, knocking down The People's Champ from behind.
Rocky whips Bubba Ray into the table in the corner. Bubba bounces off it and comes back to the center of the ring woozily, where he's driven into the canvas with a Samoan Drop. The crowd is now almost entirely on their feet, cheering wildly as The Rock places both of his opponents in the corner with the table, Bubba Ray first, then D-Von in front of him. The People's Champ gets a running start, but alertly, the Dudleys both bail out of the way and smack Rocky in the face with the table!
The Rock hits the mat hard and the table is laid down on top of him. D-Von and Bubba Ray take the hard slab of wood off their downed competition, setting it up on its legs in perfect position, for, say, a super powerbomb. D-Von scoops The Rock up and holds him in an atomic drop-like position, looking for the handoff to his half-brother who steps onto the apron so he can ascend the ropes. The fans in attendance boo harshly as Bubba does the "3D" taunt before turning and putting one foot on the second turnbuckle. D-Von hoists up the worn-out People's Champ, BUT WAIT A MINUTE, BUBBA RAY IS PUT IN THE MANDIBLE CLAW BY MICK FOLEY, WHO HAS COME OUT OF THE AUDIENCE!
D-Von puts The Rock down and steps towards Foley, but it's too late, as Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy dives off the apron with Bubba Ray in his grasp, straight through the spraypainted table on the outside! Everybody's losing their minds, including JR and King at commentary, as D-Von turns around, right into the ROCK BOTTOM THROUGH THE TABLE by The Brahma Bull!!! The arena in Miami goes apeshit for lack of a better term, while Foley steps back over the barricade, leaving us with a bang bang as he eludes security.
Winner: The Rock (9:04)
THE ROCK! THE ROCK! THE ROCK IS GOING TO THE ROYAL RUMBLE!
Forget about The Rock, what does that idiot Mick Foley think he's doing? He's going to get himself killed if Triple H gets his hands on him!
The fans in Miami chant "Rocky... Rocky... Rocky..." with The Brahma Bull once again perched on the second rope as the show's end graphic makes an appearance in the bottom corner of the screen and the feed fades to black.
Confirmed for Royal Rumble
30-Man Royal Rumble MatchThe Rock vs Kane vs X-Pac vs Edge vs Christian vs Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy vs Bubba Ray Dudley vs D-Von Dudley vs Val Venis vs Al Snow vs TBD
World Wrestling Federation Championship Last Man Standing Match
Big Show (c) vs Triple H
WWF Tag Team Championship MatchNew Age Outlaws (c) vs The Acolytes