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post #461 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 08:16 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

The usual stellar stuff. I'll do my best to get a review up.
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post #462 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 04:41 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

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Nice match to open up the show, and I like that you gave it a lot of time so the two teams could provide some great action, which they did in this match. Really liked this match, tbh. Hooligans appearance, which I like, costs MNM a win. Big win for The Bluebloods, in their hometown. Great start to the show, which could be epic if this trend continues.

Really like what you've done with Kash in this thread. 'E should have put a lot more into him imo. I also like that you've put a lot into the CW Title, making it mean something. Also something the 'E never really seemed to capitalize on while the title was still in tact. Good stuff from Kash, as always. But he doesn't stand a chance against big bad Batista, and calling him out could/should be his undoing. Hope Noble/Kash II if and when it happens is as good or better than the WM match.

OJ gets a little offense but much like the other OJ, he gets sent to the slammer {see what I did there} by Hardy. Kennedy promo means we'll probably see a Kennedy/Hardy feud, which should be pretty good. Really liked the promo, kept Kennedy in character like he always seems to be, and I always enjoyed him better as a heel than a face. Make the build to the eventual match good, plz.

Oh my, it seems like you've turned Booker into KING BOOKER. I didn't like the gimmick at first when it started, but then it grew on me. Really awesome stuff from him in this promo. @ PISSING POOL. Shot at Edge was nice at the end. Really hope this means a push for Book, always enjoyed him.

Albright, wow. I enjoyed that. Looks like he could be a good heel in this thread if you put him in the right direction. Would like to see what you do with him, as he does have a lot in him to make him pretty 'great.' Squashes Nunzio, not all that surprising there. FUJIWARA ARMBAR~! Goodness, that sounds sweet.

JBL has always, always been a great talker and you proved that statement here. Liked the stuff between him and Shane O'. Heat to the English crowd is not surprising from 'The True American Hero,' JBL saying he's the most valuable commodity flares that ego everyone knows he has. SmackDown! Election? What is this, if you could inform me. Not so sure I know that much. Shane says he has to do something, wonder what that could be?

Pretty great stuff in this interview. Rey does some good work, and REGAL comes out to talk down on him. Like that he's gotten a lot of time on this show, and almost forgot these guys were the Tag Team Champs . Love Burchill, and his last statement in this promo was rather good. Good stuff, keep it coming.

More great stuff in this promo from Noble, obviously keeping this feud going with him and Kash by both having separate interviews. Accent was put on perfectly, as it was as if I could visualize him saying the promo. Nice stuff here.

Good win for Finlay here, hope he keeps his good spot in this thread. He OWNS as a heel.


omfg @ this promo. Heyman OWNS, and he really dominated this promo. Love, LOVE this Lashley/Undertaker feud, as you've basically transformed Lashley into a monster. This feud has been great, and really, as you keep getting better and better, this should keep getting better and better.

Tag team match sounds pretty nice next week. Rey & Jamie to go over on the Tag Champs, imo. Really like that it's pitting almost all the champions on SmackDown barring the World Champion, tbh. Shows your giving ALL the titles a good time, which the 'E should do irl.

Ah, now I understand the SD! Elections. Shane O'~~. Shot at Orton was a nice touch, really. Shane lays down the LAW, and an Edge appearance really was expected after that. Perfect stuff from him, Edge is always great to write with his attitude and you captured him AMAZINGLY in this. Shane "Are you bitter?" Wow, this stuff just gets better and better as it goes on! DAVE~, but it can't be him, cuz he faced him at WrestleMania. lol @ "We're gonna have a problem." Big, bad Batista ... like it. SPINEBUSTER to MCMAHON? Wow. There could be something hefty against 'Tista now, but I like where this is going. I expect him to get some kind of rematch eventually, or be put in a triple threat after the title match on the 28th. AWESOME promo to end the show.

GREAT stuff Legend, as always ... keep it up.

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post #463 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-07-2008, 02:01 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

So, before I get started, just want to say here and now rather than every time it is mentioned on the show - LOVE THE SMACKDOWN ELECTION IDEA!!! I hope it runs, and runs for a good few months, splitting the locker room in the process. Cant wait to see how it develops. There.

Classic contest to open the show, and no better way to open a British show than to give the English team a feel good win. Couldíve done without the Hooligans run in, and just give Regal and Burchill a clean as a whistle win, but there are always reasons for a run in, and Iím assuming you wanted to keep MNM strong-ish in defeat, not losing too much ground in the tag title hunt, hence Kendrick & Londons interference. Possibly could lead to a second run around for these three teams at Judgment Day.

No need for these great British moments. I guess itís there to add a special feeling though for the show. Good idea, but still Ö not a fan.

Hot little promo from Kid Kash. Promo time for cruiserweights Ö pfft, thatíll never catch on. Seriously though, enjoyed the interview, and it most certainly seems like weíll be seeing more of the Kash - Noble feud, and dare I say it, are the cruiserweights ACTUALLY being treated as some sort of equal to the big boys?? Equality for all rules.

Not surprised to see Matt dispose of OJ with ease. Bit of filler to keep Hardy rolling for now. Filler had a purpose it seems, as we get to hear some greatness from Mister Kennedy. I like this running feud between Kennedy and Hardy, itís just two guys, with nothing at stake (for now), in a solid feud which ultimately is gonna help both men progress methinks, regardless of who Ďwinsí in the end. Not awfully keen on the ĎMic Suiteí for a name, but Kennedy is an awesome candidate for a talk show. Not sure how well next weeks confrontation will go, but Iím sure youíll pull out something decent Ö you always seem to.

Meh. Not that the Booker T promo wasnít well written, itís more down to the fact that I donít want to see King Bookah done again. Was good a couple of years ago on Smackdown, but I just donít see where it fits into this thread in order to top the real life version of the gimmick. Booker should be getting phased out imo, but thatís just me. King Booker showing up pretty much guarantees another big run for the Book. No ratings.

Brilliant promo from Brent Albright. The sky is most definitely the limit with this guy, and I see now why youíre a fan of his. Unfortunately, I didnít follow him once he disappeared from the WWE, {so his push is likely to stall elsewhere}, but this looks to be an awesome addition to your roster, one of those ones that the readers (should) know will turn out to be a star in the making. I can tell just from the promo, youíve got exactly how you want the guy to come across, and youíve got it perfectly. No nonsense stuff from Brent, and itís a victory.

Shane hitting the booze now?? Life must be tough for the Scotch to make an appearance in Shanes life. JBL was awesome again. Cheap comments to generate heat, use of good language but nothing over complicated, JBL was terrific. A little surprised to just see Shane suddenly change his mind at the end. Why?? Anyways, as for JBL doing something for Shane?? BJ??

Big in ring interview for Rey?? No thanks. To be fair though, this wasnít all that bad or boring. Not ever going to be one of my favourite promos, and it couldíve been shorter, but it was good. Another *voice* to interrupt. Third time tonight thatís happened. Glad to see the promo picking up pace, and hitting the interesting route, with a solid bit from Regal, and a well worked beat down from the Bluebloods, turning their own fans against them. This was an uber cool way to cap off the segment, and the home town heel turn was terrific. Bluebloods rule.

More cruiserweight promo time?? Love it. Jamie Noble is one of those cruiserweights that deserves plenty of mic time, and heís a perfect guy to put at the top of the CW division, whether as face or heel. Donít see dual champions being crowned next week, but I really dig mini feuds like the one developing between Mysterio & The Bluebloods, which now is set to involve Kash at some point, and eventually will serve to introduce the next program for Rey.

Filler match for Finlay to get a win. Do something with him please. Finlay is a legend. Feud him with Rey pls.
Excellent vignette to hype CM Punk. Where the heck is he gonna fit in though on a loaded Smackdown mid card / upper mid card roster?? Looking forward to seeing how you handle his debut.

Paul Heyman has always been one of my favourite characters to use in BTB, and itís genius promos like this thatís the reason why. Heyman is one of thse guys you can go anywhere with in a promo, and pairing him with Lashley is fantastic, as he gets to cut promos like this. Props for not having Lashley talk, it not only saves people from laughing at his pre teen voice, it also adds to his mystique. Lashley, much like the Big Show on Raw, normally turns me off (not in a sexual way), but with the way he is being used here, he is one I will be keen to see week in week out, as long as he has the evil genius Paul Heyman by his side. And to top it off, WHAT A FUCKING LINE!!! Perfect line to use, and gets the point across perfectly.

Early prediction, but the guy who wins the Smackdown election brings back Orton, although July does seem a long time for Orton to be off screen. Intense, angry Edge is always Edge at his best, and this rant was Edge at his VERY best. There are a lot of people that have installed Shane as a GM through the years in BTB, but youíve definitely portrayed him in an authority role better than anyone else in memory, not particularly leaning to either side, playing straight down the middle. Oh man, you know how to leave us in suspense, donít ya?? Not revealing the damn number one contender!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU!!!

In all seriousness though, terrific cliffhanger to close the show on, with Batista {as predicted} breaking someone in half, but who the heck is the #1 Contender??? Looking forward to finding out, thatís for sure. Itís another really solid, episodic Smackdown, following on from a strong Raw, keeping the train rolling from the aftermath of WM. Definitely at the top of your game Legend, long may it continue.
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post #464 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-07-2008, 02:38 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

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Wow, canít think of a better way to start this show off, tbh. WWE Tag Team Title match is gonna be crazy. Loved that Mercury, Nitro, and Burchill all got the show off their skills, especially Nitro and Paul, as they are the future of the company. Regal gets his fair share of time, dominating with his vicious attacks, before we come down to Mercury and Burchill. Great exchanges before both men taken out, and then get to their corners Ö tagging in Regal and Nitro!! William dominates before Johnny shows off that athleticism, taking Billy down. Another good interchange, with a nice Enziguiri, before Regal is able to lock in the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE~. Nitro gets the ropes Ö but here come the HOOLIGANS!! Kendrick screws Nitro, allowing Regal to keep the hold locked on, while Johnny taps before Mercury can save him!! L&K screwing MNM makes me think that we will have another Three-Way Dance between these teams, which I would have no problem with. Great way to kick off the action, with the Bluebloods keeping the belts where they belong, around their waists.

Very good interview from the former C.W. Champion of the world, talking about losing the belt and of course, being the heel that he is, calling Noble a fluke. Gotta love the little Cruiserweight calling out Big Dave Ö whoíd murder K.I.D, btw Ö but it makes his character work. Hopefully we get the rematch between Noble and Kash sooner rather than later, because they still have a ton of business to straighten out.

A pretty academic win for Matt Hardy, who despite not winning MITB, may be the hottest midcard guy you have on your roster right now. Glad that O.J. looked respectable, but Matt is just getting the job done. Hopefully he moves into his foreshadowed feud with Kennedy soon, as I think they can have quite the show stealer.

Ö speaking of, hereís KK himself!! Kennedy pretty much owned Hardy with his short promo here, pretty much talking about how great he is. I loved the arrogance, talking about being better than Matt and also being more exciting and more popular {he is~!}. Kennedy initially sounded like he was backing down from Mattís challenge, but then he accepted it Ö and Hardy will on the Mic Suite next week!! Great little swerve and I guess you are holding off on this match until Judgment Day, as next week is sure to be explosive. Great job.

Here comes the man that I seem to love more and more with each passing show, even though he lost the U.S. Title at WM22, and that of course is Booker T. Obviously you are going to give him the ďKingĒ gimmick, and that is fine by me, especially the way that you are creatively building it. His promo was awesome and I really doubt that he had all those things in WCW, and if he did, that was probably the reason they folded. Anyway, he obviously feels like he is higher than the other wrestlers on the show and I would kinda agree with him, as he has such a storied history. He seems to be making a pleagde to becoming the best on the blue brand, but with Edge as the champion, I really doubt we will get major heel vs. THE heel, so I think you are going to hold off a while before he gets a one-on-one shot at the belt, maybe he will be involved in some multi-man matches. Great ending, with him and his wife heading up the ramp, acting oblivious to the heat, as they feel they are the best, and now they plan on proving it.

Another very good promo from B.A, like you said, pretty much the same as last week. I would like to know who this blonde woman is, as I feel like Iím missing something. Albright will slowly be built up the SD! ladder, as you seem to love the guy and Iím guessing that you have some big plans for him. Another win tonight seems about right.

Obviously Brent was going to DESTROY the former ECW wrestler, as he just runs right through the poor sap, doing the same moves as last week, getting a quick tap out from Nunzio. More of the same next week, plz.

JBL is back to bitching on a weekly basis, as he is still asking Shane for a spot in the ring with just a mic. I guess all the verbal assaulting between the two made Shane realize that JBL might have a point, so he will give him some airtime Ö on one condition. I have no idea what that means, tbh, but it will most likely be something JBL hates doing. Very intrigued by this storyline, tbh.

Rey Mysterio seems to be the happiest guy on the entire roster, and why shouldnít he be? The man has just got the biggest win of his career at WM22 and now he is the reigning U.S. Champion. Rey was in a bad spot before ĎMania and it seems like the rematch with Booker wonít be happening, as he is now in a short feud with the tag champs. The little miscommunication between the two sides last week seems to be developing and I am shocked that Regal/Burchill granted Mysterio and his partner a match so quickly. Rey and Noble will make quite the team, but I really doubt they will win, as Ö Regal comes out? You are really making the most out of these guys, as they get the sneak attack on Mysterio, with ďThe RipperĒ damn near destroying the U.S. Champ. Awesome that they still get some cheers, as the title match next week just got a little bit more personal.

A great little interview from the current C.W. Champion, as Noble obviously accepts the offer from Rey, and now the match for next week is official. Noble and Kash, just as I thought, are not close to being done, and I can see Kash possibly costing Rey/Jamie the belts next week. Gonna be very interesting, imo.

A good win for Finlay, getting him back on track after the loss to Matt last week. Glad that Juvi looked acceptable, as maybe he will get back into the C.W. scene, but Finlay needed the win, picking it up in impressive fashion. No idea where he will go from here Ö next U.S. Title challenger perhaps?

Finlay is still intense and pissed off. Wouldnít have expected anything different, tbh.

CM Punk is going to own in this thread Ö I can just feel it. Just give us a debut date soon!!

Another eerily awesome promo from Heyman, with Lashley just standing by looking as bad-ass as possible. Heyman repeats much of what was said last week, as he thinks that Undertaker is nothing but a fraud, bring up the shoot comments about VKM wanting ĎTaker never to lose at ĎMania. I think Lashley will be in the ring next week, with Heyman trying to prove just how dominant he can be, and that will be scary. The rematch between these two is really building, and it will be crazy when it finally happens. Canít wait.

Should be an awesome match next week Ö but the interference is gonna be nuts, imo. Donít make it too TNA-like, plz.

Shane comes out and we finally get to hear him call out Edge. A good little plug for the SD! Election, which I think will fade into the background until the candidates are announced at the GAB. Nice little slight to Randy Orton, before Shane gets down to business, announcing to the world that Edge will be putting his title on the line 4/28 against Ö and of course we donít hear the name!! Edge is pissed off and on his way to the ring!! Some great back and forth between Shane Oí and Edge, as the Rated R Superstar is still pissed off despite being the World Champion. Edge makes some great points, and Shane seems to consider them, before saying that Edge will still face someone for the belt in two weeks. It obviously wonít be Batista, as he has already faced Edge before, but there are a ton of people it could be, as we donít hear that because Ö BATISTA~ SPEARS EDGE IN HALF!! Dave is pissed off and he still wants the title shot, but there is no rematch clasue, and he makes Shane pay with a Spine Buster!! Obviously, there are consequences coming for Dave, as he is now a very pissed off man, feeling he deserves another chance at the belt. Great way to end the show.

Another top notch effort. A little concerned that you only had four matches, and even though the opener was long, still could have had one more. But your strength is your promos and those were great, as there seems to be much more uncertainty and SD!, and thatís why Iím loving it just a little bit more than Raw. Keep up the solid work.


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post #465 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-07-2008, 11:16 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

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Epic kind of match to kick things off here I really enjoyed it. However I always new that The Bluebloods were going to get the win. Regal and Burchill are currently the awesomeness and I hope there title reign goes for a long time. MNM are a great team though and even though The Hooligans will probably be next in line for a shot I hope you keep MNM involved in the title hunt some how

Exceptional is the only word that comes to mind when I read that Kid Kash interview. There was literally nothing wrong with it I really did enjoy the whole thing and I must say Kash/Noble II would be epic

Hardy takes care of Jordan but I am happy you did at least make Jordan competitive as he is a pretty good talent just never got used correctly Nice Kennedy promo after the match, greatness how he got Hardy all riled up about an up and coming match only to be tricked because Kennedy is holding another edition of the Mic Suite. Excellent stuff again you really know what youíre doing

Booker T promo was well more sensational work. He should be very unhappy with the way he has been treated, he really is one of the greatest. I do not know what is next for Booker however I will say you are playing his fall from grace slump kind of thing very well at the moment.

Another nice promo and then another easy win from Brent Albright. I am intrigued to see what you are going to do with him and I am quite intrigued to find out just who this blonde lady is because at the moment I have no idea.

Nice, I really think you got JBL down perfectly here, but then again what is new? Your promoís always rule. Complaining and what not is all good and I just really like the way Shane McMahon currently is, jut sitting around and making decisions when he must it is very good. And that grin he got at the end makes me worried for JBL as Shane is a McMahon and JBL could be in trouble

Nice Mysterio promo showing just how humble he really is and well to be honest I am getting sick of saying this but great promo. Can not wait for yet another tag title match next week and here comes Regal Regal was just a distraction all along and I did not expect Rey to get attacked but I was wondering where Burchill was. Well you seemed to find away to get the Englishmen to be heels in their home towns. Good effort there

Nice Noble promo and we have the tag match set up for next week along with more guaranteed brilliance from Noble and Kash

Finlay over Guerrera and good to get him back on track after last weeks defeat you do not want to make a fairly new superstar get on a losing streak so quickly. Nothing else really to comment on here

Another Punk video and I just want him to hurry up and debut to be honest

Everything that you have Heyman and Lashley do has been gold so far and I can not wait until Taker and Lashley have there rematch where Lashley will definitely go over

Very entertaining promo with Shane O and Edge and well I do not know what to say it just blows me away how you continue to produce such quality promoís. Nice finish with Batista coming out however him not getting the shot quite surprised me. Then Batista nailing Shane with the Spinebuster and well that could be something Batista will regret. Either way this was a good way to end the show and it still leaves us hanging to who the next challenger will be to Edgeís title.

Overall Legend another awesome show. You continue to enthrall me with hard hitting promoís and this show was no exception. The only thing I did not like about this show is having Finlay against Juventud as the main event. I understand you wanted to make a BANG to begin the show but the tag team title match should have been the main event. Besides that another excellent edition. Well done

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post #466 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 06:30 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

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England must adore their hometown boys enough to cheer them, but it makes sense since in essence, they are making their country proud by reigning as Tag Team Champs. "The crowd booms as Angle stands back in the ring." Umm, Angle? A terrific, terrific matchup to start off the show, though I've never liked it that WWE always steps things up when they go to Europe. They should just treat it as a normal show, not a semi-PPV. I'm VERY happy to see that London and Kendrick are not out of the title hunt just yet. I have a strong admiration for you giving every single division the proper attention that they deserve.

I absolutely loved Kid Kash's interview. Nothing short of perfect, that's for sure.

Hmm, Orlando Jordan. Nice of you to remind everyone that he was a great US Champion, keeping his credibility in tact, though there surely can't be a whole lot left for him to do. Hardy, however, should be well on his way to possibly capturing the United States Championship. Only time will tell. KEN - NA - DEH. I was really upset when he didn't win MITB, but I'm sure he'll be able to find himself doing something awesome soon enough. Matt challenged Ken? This feud seems alright so far, and the best part of it all is that you're taking your time, and not rushing into a Pay-Per-View Match.

Booker T is a wildcard. He just lost the United States Championship, so really, this would be a golden opportunity to boost him into the main event spot, which I see happening. Royalty? King Booker? Don't think so, and if you do happen to go down that path, I'm gonna come out and say it may not be the wisest because it will get pretty darn old after a while. I'm seeing a whole lot of King Booker . Though so far it's not that bad, maybe because Sharmell isn't doing all of Book's talking, and he doesn't have a whole locker room of jesters.

It's Gunner Scott. That name was just so pathetic. Newcomers are so lucky, they always get to plough through jobbers for a while. I still don't know who this woman is, has it been said in news and notes or whatever? Meh, Albright beats Nunzio, a tough victory to say the least .

A solid promo between Shane and JBL here, with both men in seemingly good character (just like basically every promo you write). Leave us hanging, will ya? I found that to be rude~! I honestly don't know what McMahon wants, though it probably has something to do with maybe getting revenge on Edge for Spearing him last week?

~I just realised we haven't seen Batista yet. I must've missed something, may he won't be in attendance tonight?

Michael Cole blows when he gets in the ring. And along with that, I've never liked in-ring interviews like this, unless it's some host show like the Highlight Reel or something. Rey Mysterio is definitely not what I would call a good mic worker, but at least you're giving it a try. However, I'd try to stay away from Mysterio promos for the most part. More Regal and Burchill, huh? I suppose now's the best time to use 'em - England. I guess this segment was not bad, though including Shane McMahon calling out Edge later on, that will be three in-ring segments. A little much, eh?

Jamie and Rey teaming up can only lead to interference from the people who are thriving for their titles. Solid enough interview from Noble. The only thing I'm not too keen about in the Noble/Kash feud is that they're both rednecks .

Matt Hardy and Finlay are most likely to have a match at Judgment Day with the way things are headed. Both men are currently on fire, and Matt gave Finlay his first pinfall loss. Juvi .. meh, the whole Mexicools thing didn't really work out (that's just my opinion, actually), which is what I think really fucked him over big.

This ten second promo didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, though I know there is some significance to it, I just don't know what.

This CM Punk promo has been been playing for a few weeks now, so soon enough I expect that we'll see an exact date in the promo. I'm excited to see how you use Punk, rather than sticking him on a jobber of a brand, ECW.

Paul Heyman's first few lines in this monologue made him soon like a psycho creeper. That's never good news. Heyman's more of an evil genius than some psychopath, and this promo gave me vibes of a psychopath personna. In otherwords, I really, really hope that's not how it's gonna be. Heyman always does awesome stuff on the mic, nothing out of the ordinary, except for him being a creeper, but whatevs.

"I donít think thereís ever been a match in the history of Friday Night SmackDown with as much gold involved as there will be next week; the tag team, U.S & Cruiserweight Champions all getting it on." - Ok, so this line by Michael Cole baffled me because just last week, every SmackDown champion was involved in just one match.

I'm really liking this whole Election business. Creativity simply flows in the idea. Ahah, I love how you can have a superstar take heat for saying something the fans don't like, but quickly bounce back with a comment the fans will LOVE. Great stuff. ANGRY EDGE~!!!! Edge as mood-swings, but they're portrayed well, particularily in this segment. A fantastic main event, and Batista finally making an appearance on the show was golden. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Edge has to defend against the Undertaker, with Lashley interferring and leading to a Judgment Day rematch, but it all depends.

Great stuff, nearly flawless as there were a few minor things throughout. Keep the ball rollin'. 9.5/10
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post #467 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-13-2008, 06:05 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Wow, that's the most reviews I've ever had for a single show, and it really means a lot. All of your comments have been helping me out a great deal, and I just want to thank you all for it. Still trying to keep the shows frequent, so here's the preview


Much like our colleagues over on Friday Night SmackDown! this past week, Monday Night Raw rolls into London, England for the aftermath of quite possibly the darkest and most disturbing edition of Raw of all time; as we went off the air, an image inprinted on our psyches for the rest of our lives...

Eric Bischoff might have given The Big Show and Paul Bearer the task of 'handling' his arch-nemesis, the man who put him through a table just a few months ago, but even he can't have anticipated what was to come. At the conclusion of last week's Raw, not had Big Show cost himself the Intercontinental Title due to his heinous assault on Shelton Benjamin, but his manager, Paul Bearer, showed us just how low they are willing to sink in order to rid the wrestling world of "Mr. Monday Night": a video, footage of Eric Bischoff's nephew, Eugene, catured, tortured in the guise of RVD himself, with one very clear, concise, evil, and simple message; if Rob Van Dam does not pack his bags and leave forever ... then the same thing will happen to everyone else..." Will RVD even show up tonight following such a threat, or was last week the final nail in the coffin of the career of one "Whole Dam Show"?

Apparently not immune to the darkness last week, John Cena once again staked his claim on the Number One Contendership, leading to not only a second successive confrontation with WWE Champion Kurt Angle, but also with Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff, who once again stacked the odds against "The Doctor of Thuganomics" later that very night, forcing Cena to go through not only Kurt Angle but also the entire Spirit Squad to get a title shot at Backlash. Fortunately, thanks to Angle's assistance and a miscommunication amongst the cheerleaders, Cena was able to get the win, setting up Angle-Cena for Backlash. Tonight, Mr. Bischoff has scheduled an official Contract Signing to make one of the most highly anticipated matches of the year concrete. Will there be more fireworks when these two mega powera collide?

Following his destruction last week at the hands of the World's Largest Athlete, Shelton Benjamin has been issued with a 'Medical Suspension' from the office of General Manager Eric Bischoff, barring the Intercontinental Champion from Wembley Arena for "his own good." This leaves his fellow World Tag Team Champion Charlie Haas all alone Monday night, with a scheduled match up with one of his five opponents come Backlash, Johnny Jeter of The Spirit Squad. Will Charlie be able to survive these overwhelming odds without his best friend to watch is back?

More matches have been signed for this week's edition of Monday Night Raw by General Manager Bishoff, some featuring the two members of the Triple Threat Match at Backlash who actually still show up for work, Women's Champion Trish Stratus and one of her Number One Conteders, Victoria. Will Mickie James make yet another surprise appearance? Also, watch out for our huge main event, featuring the three men all with claims on Carlito's Money in the Bank briefcase: Chavo Guerrero, Gregory Helms, and Mr. Money in the Bank's own buddy, Chris Masters. How will the opportunistic Carlito greet this unsavoury news?

All that and more on Monday Night Raw, 9/8CT on USA.


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post #468 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-13-2008, 09:19 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Hey mate RAW show looks good as always to be honest.

Some nice stuff obviously planned i can not wait to see what happens between Show and RVD.

Contract signing is going to be fun because its simply going to be more excellent promos from Angle and especially Cena.

Haas is definitely in for a rough week i think.

Can not wait for Raw mate

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post #469 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-14-2008, 11:58 AM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Raw preview is tasty. Cannot wait to see te next installment of the RVD - Big Show saga. No big main event matches announced though is a concern. Guessing the contract signing could well be the closing segment of the show. Looks like plenty of Backlash build up is coming this week, with Haas on his own to take on Johnny (and no doubt the rest of the Spirit Squad), and the womens competitors getting a slice of the action. As always, looking forward to it.
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post #470 of 661 (permalink) Old 12-19-2008, 06:17 PM
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Re: Legend Presents: WWE 2006 - Stop Your Grinnin' And Drop Your Linen

Monday Night Raw;April 17th, 2006; London, England


A video package plays, highlighting the events which unfolded last week on Raw; first, concerning the WWE Championship, John Cena takes advantage of a miscommunication amongst Eric Bischoff’s stooges, The Spirit Squad, to pin the WWE Champion Kurt Angle, thus becoming #1 Contender for the Title at Backlash, capping it al off with a slap to the Olympic Gold Medallist. The video then shifts to the Big Show-RVD dilemma, ending with Show’s demolition of Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin, inter-cutting with the video of the imprisoned and bloodied Eugene, and Bearer’s ultimatum to Van Dam: “leave the WWE … or see this happen to everyone else…”

We enter the arena soon after, but before anything can be set up for tonight’s show …


The term ‘heat’ just doesn’t quite do justice to the reaction that greets this famous theme as it erupts over the PA right across Wembley Arena. Not a person is left seated, fixated on the sight as the LARGEST athlete in the world, the 7ft, 500lber, The Big Show, steps out onto the stage. Looking cold to the realms of psychological evaluation, Big Show wears his usual black, one-piece wrestling attire, reminiscent of the late, great Andre the Giant. Raising his massive head ever so slightly, Show sets his dead eyes on the crowd, before snarling lowly. With his incumbent manager Paul Bearer behind him, dressed in a cheap black suit and carrying that burlap sack still, The Big Show continues on down to the ring.

Jim Ross: After last week, I honestly don’t know what to say about these two men. The largest athlete in the world, the-- the human mastodon, the seven-foot, five-hundred pound Big Show and his hideous, grotesque excuse for a human being manager should be sitting in jail back in Milwaukee as far as I’m concerned … why the hell are they in London?

Joey Styles: I-- I have absolutely no idea, J.R, but I think your silence on last week speaks volumes. One of the most disgusting acts I have ever seen perpetrated in over twenty years in this business, and we still have heard no word on poor Eugene’s condition … or even his whereabouts for God’s sake. These two men need locking up.

As the mammoth man steps over the top rope and into the ring (high above, the camera notes A STEEL CAGE), the bubonic Bearer bobs across the canvas, his multiple chins rolling beneath his sneering features, sticking out his hand for a microphone, which the repulsed Lillian Garcia dully hands him. With their music dying down, the crowd’s astonishing level of heat can be heard. Big Show simply stares right ahead, the iconic intimidator, allowing Bearer bring up the microphone.

Paul Bearer: ROB! (Screaming) Yooou played with fah’, an’ you … got BUUUURRRRNED!

More white-hot levels of heat for the duo, as the hard camera pans across (and way up) from Bearer’s maniacal gesturing to Show’s stoic expression. Also, the lights in the arena begin to fade, leaving only a spotlight on the ring and the two men.

Paul Bearer: Oh yeeees, you can’t say ya weren’t waaaarrrrned … bah’ me, of (gazes up at BS) mah’ giant, an’, most importantly of allll, by Mr. Eric Bischoff … an’ ah’ can’t imagine it happenin’ to a more deservin’ victim.

A smile, almost like a knife through the cheeks, forms on Bearer’s wobbly features.

Paul Bearer: An’ aaaafter all, Rob … look-- just LOOOOK at your behaviour over the past few months. (Waving his arm) You wen’ ahead … an’ took a helpless man named Eric Bishoff, Raw’s ESTEEMED General Manager … an’ what did you do?

Pouting his lips, Bearer scrunches up his face comically as he ‘tries’ to remember what went down, as Big Show gazes on placidly.

Paul Bearer: (Into hard camera) You-- yoooou wen’ right ahead, put your haaaands on Mr. Bischoff … an’ you had the NEEEERRRRVE TO PUT HIM THROUGH A TABLE!!

Sardonic pop from the crowd as Paul shakes his head angrily.

Paul Bearer: When you (scowling) stiiiil didn’t get your way on Monday Nigh’ Raw … you then - did - the - unthinkable. YOOOOU OPENED PANDORA’S BOX, VAN DAYUM’!! You tried to be the big mahn’, YOOOOU wanted to be AAAALLLL of these people’s hero, an’ that (looks across at Show) that’s why ya tried to stop MAAAAH’ GIANT at Saturday Night’s Main Even’.

Smoothing out his tie, P.B. shakes his sweaty head.

Paul Bearer: An’ now (smiling sadistically) now you’re in a WOOOORRRRSE position, than even when that stinkin’ traitor Triple ‘Aitch busted you up with a hammer. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ROB?!?! Don’t you know better … than to mess aroun’ … in the dark?

Now it’s Big Show’s turn to slowly shake his head, dumbfounded by RVD’s ‘stupidity’.


The boos flow like a tidal wave down onto the ring … everyone looking up as THE STEEL CAGE BEGINS TO LOWER!!

Paul Bearer: Look-- LOOOOK at this (walks over to BS) right here … mah’ giant is a KILLERRRR … a killerthat ah have let loose in the Dubya’ Dubya’ E to wreak HAVOC AN’ CHAOS AN’ … DESTRRRRUCTION!! An’ when he sets his sights on YOOOOU … it’s time for you to take a lil’ trip … to the slaughter house.

Another outpouring of heat.

Paul Bearer: HOOOOWEVER (raising his index finger into the air) … now that the milk’s run out of Raw’s … cash-cow, Mr. Rob Van Dayum’ … he, like aaaallll of those gutless, worthless E … C … Dubya’ Originals … has become jus’ another beast … of … burden.

Big Show glares fiercely into the crowd.

Paul Bearer: Don’ worry, Rob, (the Steel Cage is now full around the ring) ‘cause ya see, I’ll be sendin’ mah’ giant to find you soon enough … so you can face … your accuser. (Turns to hard camera) ‘Cause YOOOOU, Rob … have a decision to make. You WIIIILLLL pay for your crimes … an’ we’re gonna do it, Rob, one of (holds up two fingers) TWOOOO ways.

Smirking sadistically through the steel mesh, Bearer runs the back of his hand across his mouth.

Paul Bearer: EITHER … we can keep on doin’ this the good … ol’ … fashioned way … lak’ you AAAALLLL saw las’ week with (mock sadness) POOOORRRR HEEEELLLLPLESS … Eugene, when mah’ giant an’ ah’ paid him a lil’ visit in his own home … an’ showed him EXACTLY the price ya pay when you play with the dark … an’, more importantly, the price ROB - VAN - DAYUM’ IS MAKIN’ YOU ALL PAY!!

Bearer motions toward the titantron with his pale, pudgy finger, which plays the footage from last week’s disgusting kidnapping and subsequent torture of Eugene…

Last Week on Raw: Following the conclusion of the Intercontinental Championship Match, The Big Show, despite being Disqualified, continues to assault Shelton Benjamin, going so far as to bust the dual champion open. Eventually, the man who Raw GM Eric Bischoff told Bearer & Big Show to get rid of, Rob Van Dam, as well as Charlie Haas, come down to the ring to clear Show out and save Benji … but this only leads to a furious Paul Bearer calling his giant back from the fray and playing a video over the titantron, recorded earlier at an undisclosed location, where he and Show had taken poor Eugene hostage, dressed him up in Van Dam’s wrestling attire, and tortured him, humiliated him, and laying down the ultimatum to RVD: “If ya wish to feel safe in your place of work once mo’? R … V … D must PACK - HIS - BAGS … and go far, FARaway from Eric Bischoff and the wrestlin’ business … FOREVER … an’ if you DON’T do as we say … THIS is what each and EVERY lil’ superstar sat in the back right NOOOWWW, hopin’ for their big break … THIS is what they can look forward to comin’ outta the dark … FOR THEM!!”

The video ends and the crowd boos relentlessly … but Paul is now wearing a sociopathic, cold, icy, heartless smile across his flabby features, almost turned on by the footage.

Paul Bearer: (Laughs maniacally into the microphone)

At this point it is really becoming hard to hear Bearer over the boos of Wembley Arena, but fortunately for us, the big fellas a screamer.

Paul Bearer: OOOORRRR … we can give you … (holds up a pudgy finger) one - more - chance … an’ we can do it … (rests his hand across Big Show’s massive shoulder, grinning) OURRRR WAY!

Though it’s hard to distinguish through his gruff exterior, the twitching at the corners of Big Show’s carnivorous mouth almost resembles that of a smirk…

Paul Bearer: You can come … April 30th … to Backlash … an’ put your career on the line … face mah’ giant (gazing all around at the structure) … in a STEEEELLLL CAAAAGE MATCH!!

Mixed reaction for this announcement, as the cameras twinkle and sparkle off the 20ft high steel structure, illuminating majestically the two men within it.

Paul Bearer: ROOOOB … there are a lotta’ ugly things that go on in the WOOOORRRRLD … but inside a Steel Cage … things get a whole … lot … worse.

Reaching up with one of his massive fists, Big Show begins to feel up the steel mesh like a piece of meat.

Paul Bearer: THIIIINNNNGS you wouldn’t understan’, Rob … ‘cause unlike … mah’ giant … or even mah’self … YOOOOUUUU -ARE - AFRAID … OF THINGS THAT GO “BUMP” IN THE NIGHT!!

More heat as Show prowls within the cage like the proverbial lion.

Paul Bearer: But if you come to Backlash … mah’ giant’s gonna teach ya some very ugly an’ painful lessons--

As the camera closes in (obviously from a cameraman inside with them), The Big Show lifts up his huge, skillet like right-fist … the tool of Van Dam’s destruction? as Bearer admires it.

Paul Bearer: IF ya come to Backlash, Rob … it ain’t gonna be like Saturday Night’s Main Event … there’ll be NO COUNT OUTS TO SAVE YA THIS TIME … AN’ NOWHERE TA RUN, VAN DAYUM!!

The grizzled monster shakes his head as if remembering their unfinished battle back at SNME in Detroit.

Paul Bearer: No, Rob, at Backlash, it’s very simple … YOOOOUUUU ARE GUILTY AS CHARGED, an’ one way or another … you will PAY - FOR - YOUR - SINS!! Now WWWWEEEE (pointing manically at BS) ARE AWAITING AN ANSWER … AN’ THIS MONSTER (at Show) IS LOSIN’ … HIS PATIENCE!!

Tremendous heat as Big Show pounds his thunderous right fist into his left palm.

Paul Bearer: An’ if ya refuse? Ask Eugene what happens next … ask him. OOOOHHHH YEEEESSSS!! YEEESSS!!!

Paul Bearer drops the microphone down to the mat and begins pointing wildly at his monster, screaming something inaudible, as The Big Show, showing his incredible athleticism, pulls himself up to the top rope so that he can gaze out over the top of the Cage, raising his right fist high into the air, his music rumbling over the loudspeaker’s once more.

Jonathan Coachman: Wow, I don’t know about you two guys, but if I were Rob Van Dam looking at that sight in the ring right now, I think I’d think long and hard about showing up on Monday Night Raw ever again, let alone a Steel Cage Match at Backlash.

Joey Styles: I-- I don’t think Van Dam has a choice, Coach. This is his livelihood.

With the human mastodon still towering over anything and everything in sight from the top of the steel structure, the camera closes in on his fierce, fierce eyes, amongst the boos…

Jim Ross: Rob Van Dam may be in for the fight of his life come April 30th if he chooses to accept this terrifying challenge … but one thing’s for sure, word has it that “Mr. Monday Night” himself will be in the building, TONIGHT!


1 - Tag Team Match
The Redneck Wrecking Crew vs. Val Venis & Viscera

Not the greatest opening match in Raw history by any means, but it serves it’s purpose, as Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch continue their impressive roll since WrestleMania; this time facing their biggest (quite literally) challenge so far in the form of the 500-pounder Viscera and his partner, former Intercontinental Champion Val Venis. Though the veterans put up some resistance, they are no match for one of the hottest teams in the business right now, as they get rid of Val, dumping him to the outside, isolating Big Vis, who they polish of swiftly with the Sweet ‘N’ Sour, giving Big Lance the pin fall victory this week.

Winners - The Redneck Wrecking Crew via pin fall @ 4:10.

Unlike previous weeks, Cade & Murdoch don’t simply storm back up the ramp to the back; instead stopping to eyeball the hard camera, simply stating “we’re next.”

Jim Ross: For a long while now the WWE Tag Team Division over on Friday Nights has been getting all the headlines, but, with the likes of these guys in the mix, not for long.

Jonathan Coachman: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are good. Really good. They’re not in the same league as my boys, The Spirit Squad, but who is? Maybe we’ll give ‘em a shot.

Joey Styles: I think you and “your boys” had better concentrate on winning the World Tag Team Titles back this Sunday from The World’s Greatest Tag Team before you start handing out title shots, Coach.

A Video Package plays…


First comes the battle …

- Sweet Chin Music from Michaels to Cena.

First comes the conflict …

- FU to Michaels from Cena.
First comes the war …

- Angle Slam from Angle to Edge.

First comes the blood …

- Five Star Frog Splash to Triple H from RVD.

First comes the hate …

- Back Stabber from Carlito to Cena.

But after all of that …

- Dragon Whip to Kenny from Benjamin, as a voices echoes out.

“Comes …”

- Quick, wild shots of HBK, Cena, RVD, Big Show, Angle, Benjamin and Carlito.

“… the Backlash.”

“WWE Backlash, April 30th, 8/7CT, live on pay-per-view”


Cut backstage

Having evidently just entered the arena, one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, Charlie Haas walks down the hallway, hood up (very Team Angle), and title belt over is shoulder, not looking too happy, heading for his locker room when …


Haas stops and grits his teeth, the beginning to jeer instantly … as all five members of The Spirit Squad walk leap into screenshot. Johnny appears to be leading the way tonight.

Johnny: (Backed up by the rest of the team) Today … is your lucky day.

Stopped in is tracks, Charlie look almost flabbergasted that is arch-nemesis’ would have the nerve to speak to him. Wrong, Chaz.

Johnny: Y’know, (pointing to Haas’ air and beard) I’m thinkin’ … a makeover? A little trim. (Turning to his boys) Haircuts can be very liberatin’ I hear. They really can.

Mitch: I’m thinkin’ blonde.

Kenny: I’m gonna have to go with bald.

Johnny: (Laughing it up) Guess what? We … have room … for a NEW RECRUIT! How would you (patting Charlie on the chest) like to be the BACK UP BOY … FOR … THE SPIRIT SQUAD?!?!

As the cheerleaders all bounce up and down excitedly: “c’mon, buddy, whaddya say?” Haas slowly pushes his hood back, still looking extremely bewildered.

Charlie Haas: Y’know I’m-- (looking over his shoulder down the corridor) I’m pretty sure that you ladies have got the wrong guy.

Johnny: What?

Charlie Haas: (Through gritted teeth) I’d suggest turnin’ around.

Faintly in the background, Wembley can be heard support Haas’ aggressive tone, but The Squad seem gobsmacked, shaking their heads in disgust … until Kenny steps up, getting right in Charlie’s face.

Kenny: Turn around”?

Charlie Haas: Did I stutter?

Kenny: Y’know, I’ve been tellin’ these guys, ever since we hit the scene and won the Tag Team Titles on our first night, (“YEAH BABY~”) that you (waggles his fingers in Haas’ face) you’re just not ‘spirit’ material.

The quintet all leap around wildly, bellowing “SPIRIT” at the top of their lungs, until, perhaps the goofiest member of the ultra-goofy stable, Mikey, jumps in between Kenny and Haas, wagging his head like a demented dog.

Mikey: GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, (shaking his head) that’s not the spirit! I mean c’mon, (looking at everyone) look what The Spirit Squad did for our lives, and most importantly (pats Haas on the chest; uh oh) our … (marquee) CARRRREEEERRRRSSSS!!

Charlie runs his hand across his chest where Mikey just touched him.

Mikey: And the Haasanator here? He ain’t no different! So, we don’t want an answer know. All we want for you to do (patting Haas on the chest with every syllable) is to juuuust … say … (arm around the shoulder) think about it …”

The rest of the team all applaud and echo Mikey like a group of parrots, as the stupid son of a bitch continues to pat Haas all over, so incredibly idiotic and full of himself that he can’t even read the signs; instead just mouthing “c’mon” over and over again.

Charlie Haas: (Rubs his chin) If … if I said yes would I get one of those really awesome green shirts?

All: YES!!

Kenny: Mandatory, bro.

Charlie Haas: (Smirking) And … would I get matchin’ pants?


Laughter can be heard from the English crowd, as The SS begin to grow very excited, believing what was obviously a prank to begin with to actually be having the desired effect. Haas, stringing them along, runs his hand through his hair thoughtfully.

Charlie Haas: Jackie does keep tellin’ me to get a haircut.

Mikey: (Patting Haas on the head) I’ve no idea who that is; but don’t worry: we always keep a pair of trimmers handy … just in case.

Charlie Haas: And (feeling his beard) she does like me better without a beard.

Johnny: ALLLL the ladies will, my man.

As the group all dance around the World Tag Team Champion playfully, Haas looks up into the air mockingly, as if imaging himself him such a role.

Charlie Haas: (Pulling at his sweater) Charlie Haas. Cheerleader.”

Mikey: Awesome. All you gotta do … is think about it, baby.

Charlie Haas: I don’t gotta think about it. (Puts his arm around Mikey) Boys, you got yourself a deal.

The term ‘mark-the-fuck-out’ doesn’t quite do justice to the reaction of The Spirit Squad, as you wouldn’t be foolish for thinking they had just won the Super Bowl, most of them leaping about ten feet (metaphor, folks) into the air, punching their fists and hugging, whilst Haas grins away.

Mikey: Charlie, (extends his hand) put ‘er there.

Haas happily stretches out his hand to take Mondo’s …

CHARLIE SLAPS MIKEY RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE WITH AUTHORITY!!! “WOAH” cries The Spirit crowd and the crowd ROAR, as Mikey stumbles backwards into his teammates, clutching the side of his face in shock and pain. Mitch holds up his megaphone like a weapon, as the others all fume, shouting “Not cool, not cool.”

Kenny:(Extremely pissed off) FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT--

All: TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, WHO DO WE NOT APPRECIATE?!?! (They point threateningly at their enemy) HAAS! HAAS! HAAAAAS!!

A furious Mikey caps the mini chant off with his AIR HORN~ as the other members rub his shoulders and pat his chest, trying to make him feel better, as they begin to back away down the hallway, angrily gesturing at the intense (and amused) World Tag Team Champion …

Johnny: The hell’s wrong with you?!?!

Kenny:(Leading them away, shouting back) You’re gonna pay for that, Chaz; you better remember you little girlfriend ain’t here tonight. Mr. Bischoff’s gonna hear about this. YOU’RE GONNA PAY!!

Haas’ laughter falters slightly when reminded of his partner and best friend’s absence tonight, but he quickly shakes it off and continues to watch intently, as we fade out.


2 - Non-Title Match
Women’s Champion Trish Stratus vs. Ashley Massaro

It’s student vs. teacher tonight thanks to General Manager Eric Bischoff, and things start off as they should with such a contest: a handshake. However, as with the last couple of weeks, Trish’s frustrations with Mickie James’ absence again, get the better of her, and she begins to get extremely physical with her young protégé. Ashley puts up as much resistance as she can muster, but ultimately, Stratus shows why she is the best around today, polishing the young Diva off with a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Chick Kick!! Her cover is ultra aggressive to say the least, forearm right in the face, as she continues to roll.

Winner - Trish Stratus via pin fall @ 4:17.

Trish has her hand raised by the official, but keeps her eyes fixated on the titantron, sensing another appearance from Ms. James perhaps.

Joey Styles: Well, I don’t think any of us really know what to make of Trish Stratus’ attitude of late, or cast aspersions on it, considering what she has had to put up with since WrestleMania, but one thing can’t be denied … Mickie James had no-showed yet again.

Receiving a slightly mixed reaction from London, Stratus takes a deep breath, frustrated as hell, watching Ashley struggle to come to in the ring … while Victoria is seen backstage, watching the proceedings from her locker room, hands on hips; focused.

Cut backstage

Inside his lush General Manager’s office, “Easy” Eric Bischoff stands in the middle of the room, looking a little unkempt considering the hour of the day; no jacket, shirt untucked, and the first few buttons hanging open. Looking anxious, Bisch holds up two ties, a red one, and a black one; peering expectantly ahead.

Eric Bischoff: So, (licking his lips) which one d’ya think?

The camera gradually pans around to reveal the other side of the room to us, where … the beautiful Torrie Wilson is reclining on the couch up against the wall, wearing a very revealing black dress, while the irrepressible Armando Alejandro Estrada reclines in the chair behind Eric’s desk, struggling not to keep glancing at Ms. Wilson.

Torrie Wilson: (Giggling) I think they’d both look good on you, Mr. Bischoff.

Bischoff smiles arrogantly and flirtatiously, as Estrada rolls his eyes; no shades yet for the awesome one.

Eric Bischoff: Y’know something … Miss Wilson? I think you’re right.

As the lovely diva blushes and laughs at Easy’s lame methods of hitting on her, there is a knock at the door … drawing a sigh from the GM, though he refuses to even turn his head.

Eric Bischoff: (Through gritted teeth) … … What?

As the door can be heard opening, Eric stands, his expression barely changing … as Mr. Money in the Bank Carlito and his body builder lackey buddy, ‘The Masterpiece’ Chris Masters enter screenshot to an outpouring of heat. ‘Piece is dressed to compete, but with a sleeveless, close-fitting t-shirt on over the top, while ‘Lito, holding his briefcase in one hand, wears his white beach attire, complete with sandals, and a very confused expression as he stares at the annoyed General Manager.

Carlito: (Stuttering, up in arms) Mr. Bischoff, w - w - w - what de hell’s goin’ on? Carlito thought-- Carlito thought you an’ him were buddies, y’know? Mi compañero de armas’?

Raising an eyebrow, Bischoff looks over to Estrada as if to say “do you have any idea what they’re talking about?” but the devilish Cuban simply shakes his head ruefully.

Eric Bischoff: (Angrily) You better get to the point quick, Carlito; I’ve got a lot of important business to take care of tonight.

Glancing over the GM’s shoulder, CCC drinks in the sultry Wilson on the couch, who smirks shyly (Masters has been ogling her ever since he entered the ring quite frankly).

Carlito: (Frowning) Yeah … looks like it.

Glancing over his shoulder, Easy E sees exactly where Carly is looking and steps across quickly, blocking the Caribbean superstar’s view of the Diva, glowering at him.

Eric Bischoff: (Tersely) You better watch your tone, Carlito; not that it’s any of your goddamn business, Ms. Wilson and I have just been going over her contract. Now what do you want?

Shaking his head, acting surprised almost, ‘Lito looks from his briefcase and around to Masters (still looking at Torrie), before eyeballing The Bisch once more, eyes bulging.

Carlito: (Almost speechless) What d - d--“Carlito wants to why you’re gonna give someone a shot at Carlito’s Money in de Bank briefcase at Backlash? Carlito won (holds up briefcase) dis fair an’ square at WrestleMania … what da-- what da hell have Eddie Guerrero’s god son - or whatever de hell he is - an’ Mr. “Stand back, dere’s a hurricane comin’ through” done to deserve a shot?

Pursing his lips, Eric looks slightly confused.

Eric Bischoff: Aren’t we forgetting someone?

Chris Masters: (Annoyed) Yeah, ‘Lito.

Looking quite pissed at first, Carlito turns to face his partner in crime, putting on a ‘sincere’ face, laughing in up as he slaps the big man on the shoulder.

Carlito: (Chortling) Don’t worry, ‘Piece. Carlito knows you deserve a shot. Carlito was just sayin’ dat dose other idiots don’t deserve a shot. Take it easy, big fella.

The Masterpiece looks a little sceptical at first, but eventually nods his head in agreement and smiles like a moron, buying into all of ‘Da Bad Apple’s’ bull like the proverbial jock.

Eric Bischoff: (Clears throat)

Masters looks up and Carlito turns back around quickly.

Eric Bischoff: (Looking at his watch) Look, as much as I hate to break up this little lover’s tiff, I have a huge contract signing to prepare for tonight, and, quite frankly, you piss me off a little too. Now, the match tonight is set, Carlito, and that’s final.

Carlito doesn’t say anything for a moment, just staring dumbly ahead, before throwing his arms in the air.

Carlito: Fine. (Turning away, under his breath) Just thought, after all dose times Carlito’s helped you out…

Eric Bischoff: What was that?

Stopping just short of the door, CCC lets out a tiny smirk … before turning back to the GM.

Carlito: (Innocently) No, no, it’s-- it’s nothin’ really; Carlito was just sayin’ how it’s kinda weird after all de times Carlito’s scratched your back … you don’t wanna scratch … Carlito’s.

Eric Bischoff: You’re damn right I don’t to “scratch your back”. Quite frankly, I can do whatever the hell I want. (Laughing) I don’t—I don’t even know what all of these (air quote) “favours” are that you’re supposed to have done for me.

Carlito scoffs with disbelief.

Carlito: (Oozing with sarcasm) Oh, oh, oh it’s nothin’ really, Mr. Bischoff, just-- just when Carlito took out John Cena for you last year before SummerSlam, or when Carlito beat up dat old man Ric Flair, or-- or how ‘bout the time Carlito spat in Kurt Angle’s face? Or h--

Eric Bischoff: ALRIGHT, FINE!

Cut short, Carly tries to conceal his grin, as Bischoff looks to have heard enough.

Eric Bischoff: (Coldly) You’ve made your point. Just because … just because I’m such a nice guy … I’m gonna try and help you out tonight.

Tremendous heat from the crowd, as CCC smiles uncontrollably.

Eric Bischoff: Y’see, (smirking) there will still be a match tonight, but it will no longer simply be a Triple Threat between your friend here, Mr. Helms and Mr. Guerrero. Oh no, it’s now going to be … a TAG TEAM MATCH … between the team of Gregory Helms and Chavo Guerrero … and Chris Masters and his partner … none other than Mr. Money in the Bank … CARLITO!!

This gets a slightly better pop from the crowd, but Mr. MITB looks slightly worried.

Eric Bischoff: And (finger up) … … here’s the twist. If Messer’s Helms, Guerrero or Masters get the deciding fall … then they will move on to Backlash on April 30th to face you, Carlito for the Money in the Bank Contract … (CCC looks ready to flip) but … but if you manage to get the fall … then at Backlash … you’ll be having … the night off.

More heat from the crowd as Da Bad Apple contemplates this notion, nodding slightly … not noticing The Masterpiece’s sore reaction in the background.

Eric Bischoff: Do we have a deal?

Looooooooooong pause. <__________<

Carlito: Sure.

Bischoff smiles and nods slightly, before turning his back on the two superstars and heading back into his office to compare ties with Torrie Wilson and Estrada. Carlito takes a look down at his briefcase, sighing slightly, perhaps wondering if he made the right call, before turning and walking from the office … watched all the way by Chris Masters.


Jim Ross: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen on what has already been a huge night here on Monday Night Raw, but as of yet, the man who was earlier challenged to put his career on the line at Backlash in a Steel Cage Match against The Big Show, Rob Van Dam … has not turned up--

***PAY THE PRICE*** No sooner do we return from the commercial interlude then the music of one half of the World Tag Team Champions hits through the arena to a big pop, as Charlie Haas makes his way down to the ring, belt around his waist, dressed to compete.

Joey Styles: Well, one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, Charlie Haas, set for action tonight against one of the five men he will be facing 13 days at Backlash, Johnny … Jeter? After their little … altercation earlier tonight, what kind of mood will either man be in?

Jonathan Coachman: You mean when Haas slapped my boy in the face for no reason, Styles? Say it how it is and do your job, four eyes.

***READY?*** Heat fills the arena as the goofy theme tune blasts out over the PA, as Johnny leaps out onto the stage, pointing angrily down the ramp at his opponent. Pulling up short though, Jeter holds up his finger, asking everyone to “wait a sec”…

Jim Ross: Awwww, goddammit, not again!!

Joey Styles: Seriously?


…the REMAINING four members of The Spirit Squad, who bound out onto the stage to join their teammate (Mikey has to be ‘retrained’ by the others) to some astonishing heat from the crowd. Just like last week, with their music still playing, ‘Captain’ Kenny brings a mic up to his mouth…

Kenny: CHAAAAARRRRLIE!! (Shouting over the PA) You remember earlier when you slapped our boy Mikey in the face? We said there was gonna be consequences, Charlie Boy, and Mr. Bischoff has ensured that.

Flexing their arrogance muscles, Kenny begins to strut down the ramp toward the ring, followed by the rest of his team like something out of West Side Story (seriously, they only need to be clicking), as Haas fumes…

Kenny: We asked Mr. Bischoff to give these people here tonight a little preview of Backlash, but unfortunately for you, Charlie … your partner ain’t - here. But don’t worry, don’t worry, ‘cause (nods to his team) we’re all here. You’re still gonna get a lil’ glimpse of Backlash; it’s just gonna be a Five … on … ONE HANDICAP MATCH!!

Some absolutely staggering heat fills Wembley Arena, as Haas shakes his head coldly; but he quickly has to look lively, tossing his title belt aside and getting set, as the former World Tag Team Champions, all five of ‘em, begin to encircle the ring…

Jim Ross: Jesus Christ, THIS IS DISGUSTING!!

Jonathan Coachman:(Laughing his motherfucking ass off)

Joey Styles: Oh yeah, your “boys” should be really proud of themselves, Coach.

Unsurprisingly, Mikey is the first member of The Squad to slide into ring, still smarting from that slap earlier in the night, and he throws a right hand at Haas - who blocks it, and KNOCKS THE CHEERLEADER RIGHT BACK DOWN ON HIS ASS, forcing the ref to signal for the start of this farce!!

3 - Five-on-One Handicap Match
The Spirit Squad vs. World Tag Team Champion Charlie Haas

Though Charlie Haas in on the roll of his life right now and puts up a stout effort, unlike John Cena last week, he doesn’t have the best wrestler in the world, Kurt Angle, backing him up, and the numbers begin to tell very quickly, with The Spirit Squad quickly swarming the collegiate All-American and beating him down to the canvas. Once they feel they have done enough punishment to the man who humiliated them at WrestleMania and will face them at Backlash, four members of ‘Squad bring Haas up into the air, as Kenny FLIES off the top rope, CRASHING across Haas with the GUILLOTINE LEG DROP, as Mitch, Mikey, Nicky and Johnny bring him SLAMMING down with THE HIGH SPIRITS!! Ain’t no getting up from that, and ol’ Kenny arrogantly gets the cover.

Winners - The Spirit Squad via pin fall @ 5:06.

After the match, Charlie Haas remains down in the middle of the ring, motionless, as The SS celebrate, giddy as schoolboys in and around the ring, before Kenny begins directing traffic, sending Mitch and Mikey out of the ring … to CLEAR THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!

Jim Ross: Those-- ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

Joey Styles: These idiots have some evil intentions.

Rolling back into the ring, Mitch & Mikey assist in putting a few more points to the helpless Haas, before ‘Squad begin dragging him (the crowd begins cheering loudly) towards the ropes, with their backs to one side of the ring…


Wembley Arena ROARS, as the rest of The Spirit Squad turn just in time to see their leader’s eyes roll up into his head, and he go head over heels down to the canvas. Mitch tries to react in time, but Benjamin lunges, RAMMING THE POINT OF THE WEAPON RIGHT INTO HIS GUT, doubling the cheerleader over in pain!!

Fearing for their lives, Mikey, Nicky, and Johnny quickly drop down and roll out of the ring like a couple ‘o government mules, high-tailing it around the ringside area and part way up the ramp, leaving their agonized teammates, Kenny and Mitch to drop down to the floor, giving the World’s Greatest Tag Team full reign over the ring.

Dressed in jeans, a ‘World’s Greatest’ t-shirt, and sporting a bandage across his forehead, Benji charges around the ring for a bit like a mad man, slamming the steel chair off the ropes a few time and challenging ‘Squad to get back in the ring. They wisely decline. Mouthing, “pussy’s” at them, Shelton turns to help his partner out…

???:(Off screenshot) CHICOSA! (Turn) MIRADA’! ESCUCHAME’!!!

As if we didn’t already know, out onto the stage, waving his hands like a fiend, brandishing a microphone, dressed in a swanky beige suit, black hat and shades, steps Armando Alejandro Estrada, getting an impressive amount of heat for a newbie.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: Todos, escuchame’, everybody listen -- haha – (takes off shades) to me! In case ju haven’t heard … MY NAME EES’ ARMANDOOOO ALEJANDRROOOO ESTRRRRRRRADA!!! HA-HA!!

Heat, as Estrada smiles goofily and Benji keeps trying to help Charlie back to his feet.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: Senior Benjamin, ju know, for a -- como se dic’ -- “dead man” ju look pretty good. Don’t kid jourself, pero, last week ju got (still shots off the beat down last week begin to play over the titantron) ju’re ass kicked, by a seven-foot, five-hundred pound monster, and ju are lucky … to be alive, me amigo.

Boos from the crowd, as Shelton shakes his head.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: But don’t worry about it, compadre, ‘cause I’ve got some good news for ju tonight. (Benji looks up) Even though ju disobeyed a direct order from el jefé himself, Senior Bischoff, and turned up tonight … … ju’re going to be rewarded.

Haas leans against the ropes, clutching his ribs and watching his partner intently.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: … … … With ANOTHER match at Backlash!!

Benjamin’s eyes light up, as the crowd gives a fairly mixed reaction; having no problem with seeing more of their hero, but understanding the overwhelming odds being stacked against him.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: Pero, ju’re even crazier than Rob Van Dam! Ju already have a championship, the Intercontinental Title, and now because ju kept it, ju think ju should just get to defend one of them at pay-per-view? I think Thee Big Show and Senior Bearer did a real number on you las’ week, mera.

Wembley Arena boos loudly, as Benji shakes his head.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: That’s why, Senior Eric Bischoff, thee GREATEST General Manager of all time, is proud to announce that at Backlash, Shelton Benjamin, ju will be putting ju’re Intercontinental Championship on thee line against--

Turning, Armando looks to the curtains, waiting for someone to make their presence felt, as Shelton looks on anxiously, mimicked by the eager fans…


Armando Alejandro Estrada: … … … CHARLIE HAAS!!!

“WHOOOOOA~” That is the exact reaction of the crowd, as Charlie Haas’ face suddenly goes through virtually every emotion known to man, no longer needing the support of the ropes, standing with one hand on his hip, the other over his head, just … staring ahead in disbelief. As a smirking Estrada heads back through the curtain, Shelton Benjamin turns …

…right into the face of his World Tag Team Champion partner … and now opponent for the Intercontinental Title at Backlash … the seeds of dissent planted … ???


In the interview area the bespectacled Todd Grisham stands by with Gregory Helms, dressed to compete, with his awesome, sleeveless trench coat & doo rag on over the top.

Todd Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen, joining me now is one of the men who will be competing in our main event tag team main event later on tonight for the chance to earn a shot at the Money in the Bank Contract at Backlash, Gregory Helms. And, Greg--

“Hurricane” Helms grabs the microphone from Grisham and pie-face him out of the way.

Gregory Helms: That’s enough outta you, Harry Potter, so it’s ‘bout time ya quit yappin’ and let the people hear from the person that actually wanna hear speak, and in case ya wonderin’, poindexter, that would be yours truly, the man who is gonna smack the apple outta Carlito’s ass and become…

Hearing the crowd’s laughter in the background, Helms pauses a moment, showing an increased comfort with his new ‘face’ role.

Gregory Helms: Glad you agree. ‘Cause it ain’t just Gregory Helms sayin’ it … (looks hard at the nearby camera) it’s gonna be Gregory Helms playin’ it. Last week Carlito and his lil’ Hercules-wannabe sidekick ran like the two lil’ pigs … but tonight, there ain’t gonna be a place ta hide fellas, to stop this (slaps his chest) wolf from blowin’ your housedown.

Big pop from the crowd, as the arrogant but popular superstar adjusts his shades coolly.

Gregory Helms: Does Gregory Helms think that Chavo Guerrero probably deserves a shot at the briefcase most of all after what went down at WrestleMania? Kinda. But I ain’t the nicest guy walkin’ these halls, if anythin’ I’m a bit … of a prick, (crowd laughs in the background) but if that gets Gregory Helms ta where I wanna be -- holdin’ a guaran-damn-teed World Title shot in my arms -- then I think I can live … with bein’ a prick.

Finishing up, Greg tosses the mic up into the air and swaggers off to cheers, as Grisham lunges back into the shot to try and catch the falling object … which he doesn’t.

A vignette plays …


Inter-cutting shots flash across the screen of Ric Flair, from his early days in the NWA, to his career in WCW, his creation of the incomparable Four Horsemen, his time in Evolution, his wars with Steamboat, Funk etc. all as ‘Also Sprach Zarathustra’ begins to slowly play over the top…

Ric Flair: There comes a time in a man’s life …

Jim Ross: {echoing} SIX - TEEN TIMES the Heavyweight Champion of the World …

Shot of Naitch on his knees, World Heavyweight title in his grateful arms.

Ric Flair: When you gotta take some time to reflect …

Jerry Lawler: {echoing} It’s all about stylin’ and profilin’ …

Quick shots of Flair displaying some of his hypnotic, unparalleled charisma.

Ric Flair: Reflect on what’s most important in life …

Arn Anderson: {echoing} I would die for Ric Flair …

Shots of Flair’s friendships with the likes of AA, Triple H, Barry Wydham, Batista, Sting & Randy Orton.

Ric Flair: Like your family and your health …

Jim Ross: {echoing} They should give this man his own wing in the Hall Of Fame …

More flashing shots of Flair wowing crowds all around the world, from the U.S to Japan, from the United Kingdom to Canada.

Ric Flair: And I’ll have the answers … soon enough …

Final image of The Nature Boy at WrestleMania 22, adorned in one of his custom robes, arms outstretched, twirling majestically on the spot…

Ric Flair: … … … Backlash … … …


Back to ringside

Joey Styles: An intense Gregory Helms right there, folks, seemingly more focused than he’s ever been on getting his shot at the Money in the Bank Contract later tonight. But during that, we received some huge news.

***TIME TO ROCK AND ROLL*** As the commentators waffle away aimlessly, the gorgeous Women’s Champion Trish Stratus makes her way back down to ringside, now dressed in jeans and a vest, to join them…

Jim Ross: As Trish Stratus makes her way to ringside, we did indeed get a huge announcement. From the proverbial horses mouth. Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff has confirmed that Shelton Benjamin’s teammate, partner, fellow World Tag Team Champion, and, most importantly, best friend, Charlie Haas is indeed the new Number One Contender to the Intercontinental Title … but why?

Jonathan Coachman: What, you don’t think Mr. Bischoff just did it outta the kindness of his heart? (Trish settles down next to them, grabbing a headset) It’s a real pleasure to have you with us tonight, Ms. Stratus. You’ll probably wanna a seat next to me.

Trish Stratus: (Scoffs)

Jim Ross: Ignore him, Trish. Anyway, Coach, considerin’ the way Eric Bischoff’s been treatin’ Haas & Benjamin over the past few months, no I don’t think he’s doin’ this out of the kindness of his heart, Coach. The only explanation I can think of … is that together Haas & Benjamin are threat … but apart and Bischoff not only takes the Tag Titles from ‘em … but their friendship too. Sickening.

4 - Victoria vs. Candice Michelle
*Women’s Champion Trish Stratus on commentary*

Much like the Trish/Ashley contest earlier, the alpha-female, Victoria, more than exerts her authority over the lesser Diva, tossing poor Candilicious (for Dubya’) around the ring like a rag doll, with CM unable to mount any offence whatsoever. After turning Michelle’s lights out with a Savate Kick in the corner, Vickie wastes no time in yanking her up to her feet by the arm, kicking her in the gut, throwing her up, and DRILLING her with the awesome WIDOW’S PEAK, before strongly hooking both legs for the three count.

Winner - Victoria via pin fall @ 3:11.

With a victory even more impressive than Trish Stratus’ earlier one, Victoria continues to roll towards the Triple Threat Match at Backlash, as she has her hand raised, wiping the hair from her face, keeping eyes fixed on Trish at the announce table, who scowls … perhaps even slightly intimidated by the woman she bested at WrestleMania?

Joey Styles: Another impressive win for Victoria there, Trish; together with her resounding victory in your tag team contest last week… are you worried-- uh oh.

Styles is cut off short, as a cold Victoria, adrenaline pumping, steps through the ropes and jumps down to the floor, waltzing over to the announce table, an arrogant skip in her step, as Trish … refuses to stand.

The crowd seems slightly surprised by their usual female favourites’ lack of aggression, as, under the intense, intimidating stare of “The Vicious Vixen”, she simply leans back, reclining in her seat, eyes on one of her challengers, chewing her gum nonchalantly; as though she doesn’t even care about Vickie. Unsurprisingly,

‘Toria looks pissed, but the two ladies continue to stare a hole through one another (in very different styles) as the referee tries to get in between them, and we fade away…

Cut Backstage

We see the WWE Champion Kurt Angle pacing around his locker room like a caged lion, with a man, presumably his lawyer, going over some paperwork in the background ahead of the big contract signing later tonight, with J.R, Styles and Coach talking over them, as we move to the commercial break.


Returning from the capitalist interlude plugging everything and everything, the cameras are already backstage, to where a now suited and snappy General Manager, Eric Bischoff, is just entering his office again, talking on his cell phone:

Eric Bischoff: (Into phone) We don’t fold for lawyers, judges, nothing–

???: (Off screenshot) Getting ready for your big night?

Eric freezes upon hearing the sudden voice from behind. Closing his eyes in dismay, Bischoff slowly hangs up his phone, takes a deep breath, and turns around to too where … ROB VAN DAM is sitting on the GM’s couch against the wall in the din of the room, not even looking at Easy E., instead staring straight ahead. Dressed in jeans, a shirt, and unshaven, RVD actually looks quite menacing…

Rob Van Dam:(Softly) You love this job?

Swallowing nervously, the GM takes a step towards his desk, taking care to stay as far away from “Mr. Monday Night” as possible…

Eric Bischoff:(Gulps) Y - yes.

Rob Van Dam: (Still not looking round or up) Can you imagine what it would be like to have all that taken away from you?

Perching cautiously on the edge of his chair, Bisch eyes the baseball bat leaning against the wall longingly, but Van Dam’s question quickly jerks him back to the all too present reality.

Eric Bischoff: Hey, take it up with Big Show and Bearer. They want your career. Did all that … last week…

Rob Van Dam:(Louder) Big Show and Bearer are just a couple ‘o mad dogs. (Finally looks up)I want whoever let ‘em off the leash.

Bischoff’s hand creeps up to his neck with fear under the cold, emotional gaze of “The Whole Dam Show”…

Rob Van Dam: Show ‘n Bearer’ll get what’s comin’ to ‘em at Backlash, you can pass that along like a good lil’ whippin’ boy, but (grabbing the front of Eric’s chair, tanking him in close) you better do somethin’ for me, you better tell me who’s been given up my boys to the wolves.

Eric Bischoff:(Looking around for help) If-- if I tell ya … will you leave me alone?

Rob Van Dam: (Slight inclination of head)

Eric Bischoff: It … (checks to see if anyone’s listening) it was Triple H.

Upon hearing this news, Rob slowly stands up to his feet his unkempt face passing through the sliver of light momentarily, as he prepares to leave … BUT SUDDENLY WHIRLS AROUND, GRABBING BISCHOFF BY THE SCRUFF OF HIS NECK, SLAMMING HIM BACK AGAINST HIS DESK…

Eric Bischoff:(Flabbergasted) But you said–

Rob Van Dam: I lied.

Eric’s eyes open wide.

Rob Van Dam: You can tell the fat man and his pig I’ll see ‘em inside the steel in Kentucky, an’ you tell ‘em my career’s not goin’ a damn place,(gets right in close) but as for you, you smug son of a bitch, you’d send your own nephew to the slaughterhouse and then try to put the blame on someone else?

Uh oh. Busted.

Rob Van Dam:(Intense) When I beat The Big Show … that’s it. You call ‘em off. They touch another hair on one of these guy’s heads … I touch one on yours, comprende?

Eric Bischoff: Y - yes.

Rob Van Dam: Good.(Backing away)You’ll get yours one day, Bischoff … I swear to God one day you’re gonna get yours…

…Van Dam continues to back away from the General Manager, before quietly opening the door, showing no real emotion at all, before silently slipping out, leaving Bischoff sat in the same horrendous position he was left, damn near terrified to move an inch…

Back to ringside

Jonathan Coachman: What the-- SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS!!

Jim Ross:Am I hearin’ this right?! Rob Van Dam is gonna put his career, his livelihood on the line at Backlash in a Steel Cage Match against that— that mammoth Big Show?!?!?

Joey Styles: That would indeed seem to be the case, J.R. Rob Van Dam has never backed down from a challenge his whole life, but I-- I don’t think the man we just saw was the same Rob Van Dam. You don’t go through the kind of things RVD has without it having some kind of effect on you.

5 - Main Event; Tag Team Match
Mr. MITB Carlito & Chris Masters vs. Gregory Helms & Chavo Guerrero
*Winner gets a match for the MITB Contract at Backlash*

With three of the youngest and brightest (CCC, ‘Piece & Helms), as well as three of the best workers in the WWE right now period (CCC, Helms & Chavo), it’s unsurprising that we get our first really great main event since WrestleMania here on Monday Night Raw with the stakes as high as they can get. Unsurprisingly, it’s “The Masterpiece” who is forced to do most of the work for his team, with Carly stalling at every opportunity to avoid facing either of the two men baying for his blood.

After what has been quite a lengthy contest already, a limping Gregory Helms reluctantly tags in a fiery CHAVO GUERREO, who gets a massive pop from Wembley, as Masters is forced to tag out also … to CARLITO!! The saying “rather be somewhere else” doesn’t quite sum up ‘Lito’s reaction, as he stands on the apron in dismay, looking everywhere for help.

With Mr. MITB stalling on the apron, arguing with his recovering partner, who sits on the barricade catching his breath, Chavito has finally seen ENOUGH!! Storming across the ring, Guerrero, in a Rock-esque move, grabs Carlito by the scruff of his neck and flips him over the ropes into the squared circle, getting another tremendous response from the audience. As Caribbean Cool tries to crawl the hell out of dodge, Chavo stomps the crap out of him in the corner!!

Things don’t look too good for Carly, as Chavo lifts him up, sends him off the ropes, and WIPES HIM OUT, with a big time RUNNING LEG LARIAT!! Guerrero then NIPS UP, clenching his fist and roaring to the crowd, giving his chest a quick beat, before catching ‘Lito once more, hitting ONE … TWO … AAAAAAND THREE VERTICAL SUPLEXES, capping off the THREE AMIGOS in style, before heading up top.

Pointing to the sky, Chavito is feelin’ Froggy -- but Chris Masters GRABS HOLD OF HIS LEG!! The crowd boos loudly, but out of nowhere, Gregory Helms comes racing across the ring, and LEAPS UP, DROPKICKING ‘PIECE OFF THE APRON!! Masters hits the barricade, and the referee tries to get Helms out of the ring quickly.

Seeing his opportunity, Guerrero FLIES off the top turnbuckle with the FROG SPLASH -- but CARLITO MOVES - Chavo manages to ROLL THROUGH ATHLETICALLY, up to his feet in a flash, RIGHT INTO A BACK STABBER OUT OF THE BLUE!! ‘Lito pulls out his big move, but he is down also, as the ref begins to count them out, with both Helms and Masters just dying to get into the match.

However, while Carlito is making the huge effort to make it to his corner, Chavo is not doing the same; instead trying to pull himself up to his feet against the far ropes, frustrating the stranded Hurricane helms on the apron. As ‘Lito reaches up, he quickly, MAKES THE TAG WITH THE MASTERPIECE, who charges into the ring.

Grabbing hold of his long-time rival, Masters sends Chavo into the ropes with an Irish whip (WHERE HELMS MAKES THE BLIND TAG), and goes for the POLISH HAMMER -- but Chavo rolls through, turning, as ‘Piece whirls, WIPING HIM OUT WITH THE ROLLING LIGER KICK!! There’s no posing this time, as Guerrero races up the turnbuckle, and LEAPS OFF, going for the FROG SPLASH ONE MORE TIME -- MASTERS MOVES!! Chavito CRASHES AND BURNS and a smirking Masterpiece quickly rolls onto his knees, looking to take advantage -- SHINING WIZARD TO MASTERS!! A mixed reaction fills the arena as the tweenerific Gregory Helms dives across The ‘Piece, hooking both legs, keeping his eyes fixed on Carlito trying to slide into the ring. 1 … 2 … THREE!!!

Winners - Gregory Helms & Chavo Guerrero @ 12:47. Helms gets a shot at the MITB Contract at Backlash.

There can be no denying that Helms’ reaction is a mixed one, but it is much more positive before WrestleMania for example, as he rolls off Masters smartly to have his hand raised by the official, keeping his eyes fixed on Carlito, who looks positively sickened as he drops off the apron to retrieve his (at least for now anyway) briefcase from the timekeeper.

Jim Ross: Well, Carlito had better get used to that sight(as Helms climbs the turnbuckle to taunt him), ‘cause by hook or crook, Gregory Helms has just punched his ticket to Backlash and a shot at that Money in the Bank Contract that the young Caribbean superstar stole back at WrestleMania.

Jonathan Coachman:(Sulking) You sound like Michael Cole.

As a wounded Chris Masters rolls dejectedly from the ring to join his buddy in retreating up the ramp, Helms remains atop the very highest turnbuckle, raising his fist to the sky (playing to the crowd) and pointing right at Carlito, letting him know exactly what is coming his way April 30th.

Joey Styles:No doubt a tremendous victory for young Gregory Helms there; one that could very well prove to be the biggest of his life, but after the break, with even more Backlash implications, it’s the ‘Contract Signing’ for the WWE Championship Match at that very pay-per-view: Angle & Cena, face-to-face, NEXT!!


~ Going back to the last few months, we see the escalating rivalry between the WWE Champion Kurt Angle and John Cena, all reaching a dramatic boiling point last week upon Cena becoming the #1 Contender, with Cena delivering a stinging slap to the Olympic Gold Medallist.

Back from the break, Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff stands in the ring, looking extremely nervous (understandably so), with the canvas adorned with a lush red carpet, a table set up in the centre with a couple of chairs and microphones on either side. Flanking Easy E are two suited men, presumably the lawyers of the combatants…

Joey Styles: Well, that was the latest flashpoint in this personal rivalry as we get set now for the contract signing for the WWE Championship match … at Backlash…

Despite being roundly booed, Bischoff, still looking very wary, raises up his mic…

Eric Bischoff: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I am the General Manager of Monday Night Raw and I have taken it upon myself to moderate this contract signing tonight, which will make the WWE Championship Match at Backlash … official. Introducing first, the challenger, from West Newberry, Massachusetts-

A thunderous cheer begins to rumble through the crowd, getting a shake of the head from Bischoff.

Eric Bischoff: He is a former WWE Champion, a former United States Champion, and the winner of the 2006 Royal Rumble Match. Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of last week’s Number One Contender’s Match … The Doctor of Thuganomics … and the number one contender, and challenger to the WWE Championship at Backlash … JOOOOHN CEEEENA!!


A truly EPIC mixed reaction engulfs Wembley Arena as the lights shimmer all around the building, before “The Doctor of Thiganomics” himself John Cena swaggers out onto the stage, pumping his chest fiercely. Dressed in his combat ¾ lengths, his dog tags, and nothing else, Cena takes a long look around the arena before heading on down to the ring. Bischoff refuses to even look at the popular youngster, as Cena slides into the ring, brushing right past the GM, grabbing his microphone, and prowling around like a prize fighter, his music fading.

Eric Bischoff: And his opponent … from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania … a former tag team champion, a former Intercontinental and United States Heavyweight Champion, a five-time WWE Champion, and the only Olympic Gold Medallist in the history of professional wrestling. Ladies and gentlemen, the current reigning WWE Champion … The Wrestling Machine … KUUUURRRRT ANNNNNGLLLLE!!


London blows the proverbial roof as the WWE Champion himself Kurt Angle comes storming through the curtains, dressed in his wrestling attire with a black ‘Machine’ t-shirt on over the tope and, of course, the WWE Title strapped about his waist. Poised, Kurt throws his arms up into the air, sending his amazing red, white and blue pyrotechnics crashing into the night sky, before setting his sights on the ring, Bischoff … and John Cena. Much like his opponent, Angle doesn’t waste any time whatsoever, instead simply nipping up the steps, climbing through the ropes and taking his spot on the opposite side of the table to Cena, grabbing a microphone, eyes bulging out of his head.

John Cena: (Smirking) Easy there, Kojak, we ain’t here to fight tonight.

Kurt Angle: I’m here to fight every night.

Uh OH! Things don’t look to have got off to a good start, as Angle makes a move to head around the table, with Cena mouthing “Bring it on” arrogantly … until an irate General Manager steps up…

Eric Bischoff: Enough of this, you hear me? (Stamping his foot) I am in no mood to put with all of your crap tonight, either of you. Cena’s right, Kurt, you’re not here tonight to fight, you’re here to sign a damn contract, which makes me wonder what the hell you two think you’re wearing–

John Cena: Wash day. (Holding out his hands) Suits in the drier.

The crowd laughs with Cena, as Bischoff scowls, looking between the two men fruitlessly. .

Eric Bischoff: Goddammit, Cena, don’t give me that bull. The amount I pay you, (turns on Angle) BOTH of you, you should be able to afford more than one-

Kurt Angle: Why would I wear a suit … when I came here … to kick (points to Cena) his ass?

OH~ The tension builds, and the crowd can sense it, as Cena puts his hand over his mouth, pretending to be scared; but an irritable GM interjects.

Eric Bischoff: GENTLEMEN! (Getting right in between them, almost standing on the table) Gentlemen … both your lawyers have looked over this (holds up the paper in his hand) document … and despite the fact that security is surrounding this very ring, I’m telling the pair of you right now, if there is any physicality between the two of you here tonight … your WWE Title Match at Backlash … is OFF! Do I make myself clear?! Huh? Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?

Heat for this announcement. Both men remain in their same positions: Angle lent forward, eyeballing Cena; as the youngster leans back nonchalantly in his chair … but he’s the first to bring the microphone back up…

John Cena: You don’t need to sweat a thing, Easy, ‘cause John Cena ain’t gonna mess up tonight’s show. The only thing you gotta worry ‘bout is this (waves hand in direction of Angle) twinkle-toed fool right here eyeballin’ the Champ. If he don’t drop his gaze soon, we gonna be getting’ a lil’ flashback to last week, dawg.

A few boos from the crowd at Cena’s continued arrogance, as he reminds them of the slap he delivered to the WWE Champion just seven days ago.

John Cena: No, this (pounds his own chest) cat right here’s playin’ by the rules till it gets him what he wants. Part one’s already rollin’, folks, ‘cause I’m walkin’ in to Kentucky to get my first one-on-one rematch for the WWE Title since this (grits teeth at Kurt) red, white, and blue jack stole it from where it belongs in the firs’ place, so nuh uh, I ain’t gonna give that–

Kurt Angle:Stole?”

John Cena: Ya heard.

Kurt Angle: That’s real funny, Cena. (A sadistic smile across his lips) The way I remember it, I busted you up so bad, for the first time in your life you got what you wanted … you weren’t white.

John Cena: Nic–

Cena tries to cover up the remark, but the big “OH” from the crowd, and the subsequent pop, is impossible to conceal, as Angle finally sticks it to Cena, who frowns.

Kurt Angle: See, you might think I’ve given you this title match at Backlash ‘cause you touched something when you bitched and moaned about me not beating you with this (pats belt) on the line, but, champ, I HAVE.

John Cena: Yeah, y’know what Kurt, I’m sure lickin’ Easy E’s ass an’ bustin’ me up’ll be right up there with Hogan beatin’ Andre or Austin beatin’ Rock, am I right?

More laughs from the crowd, as they continue to love this banter between two of their current favourites; but Kurt looks far from impressed.

Kurt Angle: Am I speaking French or something? When the hell did I ever give the impression that I give a crap about what other people think?!?!

Casually, Cena shrugs his massive shoulders.

John Cena: Guess it musta’ been ‘bout two weeks ago when you gave me a title shot just - like - that, just ‘cause I called you out, homey.

Angle’s mouth quivers with rage, as he begins to lean forwards even further, prompting a nervous looking Bischoff to leap forwards.

Eric Bischoff: Gentlemen, the contract?

Angle glowers in the direction of the General Manager.

Kurt Angle: Unless you wanna get in between us … I suggest you back the hell up, Eric.

Gulp. It’s not turning into the best night for Bisch … as he steps back instantly.

John Cena: Yo, Kurt, you don’t diss homeboy like that.

Kurt Angle: Yeah, yeah, that’s it, Cena, you just keep doing what it is you’ve been doing all year, sucking up to anyone and everyone: the crowd, the General Manager, anything to get you what you want right? (Sneering) Y’know, there’s a word for someone like you, someone who’d sell out all ‘cause he got bashed in the head a bunch ‘o times by some jealous son of a bitch who wanted his spotlight back, and now you’re doing the exact same thing. You know that word-

Cena raises an eyebrow: “why dontcha’ tell me?” he murmurs.

Kurt Angle: A … … … PROSTITUTE!!

“WHOAH~” The crowd delivers a STRONG mixed reaction, even leaning towards heat, as J.R murmurs “that’s uncalled for”, and Eric glances anxiously towards Cena to see if he’s about to exploded. Strangely … he’s still smirking.

Kurt Angle: You prostituted your name, you prostituted the WWE Title, and now you’re gonna prostitute who you are, all ‘cause it means more to you to get what you want, rather than how you get it.

John Cena: (yawning) Oh man, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Kurt, were you talkin’?

Angle shakes his head in cold disbelief at Cena’ ridiculous arrogance.

Kurt Angle: Make all the jokes you want, Cena, (coldly) ‘cause pretty soon that’s all you’re gonna have left.

A big pop from Wembley Arena; Cena seems to take it in his stride, however.

Kurt Angle: In two weeks time it’s gonna be me and you, one-on-one, no stipulations, nothing, with the WWE Championship on the line. There’s gonna be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and absolutely nothing to save you from having your freakin’ ankle snapped … and you’re career ended by one pissed of son of a bitch.

Foaming at the mouth, The Wrestling Machine leans forward.

Kurt Angle: And that’s not just true, you pompous prick, it’s–

John Cena: (Suddenly lifting mic up) ‘Aight, ‘aight, that’s ‘nuff from you tonight, Kurt; it’s time for you to shut yo’ mouth and listen to how we hype the biggest match o’ the year here in the big leagues, ‘aight?

Angle sits back slightly, seemingly giving John the floor.

John Cena: Listen up, Kurt, this why I’m the money, and you? Dawg, you just funny. People pay to see The Doctor run his mouth; they only pay to see you droppin’ south. Y’see, folks, here’s the deal, there ain’t gonna be a fight April 30th in Lexington two weeks time … it’s gonna take more than Kurt Angle bein’ plucky; he’s gonna have to get his ass mucky, if he wants to get lucky, when (points at himself & Kurt) these two bulls hook it up in Kentucky. (Pops his collar) AH-HAH!

A big-time mixed reaction from Wembley, leaning much more towards the positive this time, as Cena gets his ‘charisma’ on, smirking across the table at the emotionless WWE Champion, looking completely full of himself, as he remains in his relaxed, composed body position leaning back in his chair.

John Cena: Ya’ll better understand, (lifting his eyes up to the crowd) when it comes to the WWE, I’m the cat everyone wants to see at the top of the mountain, I’m the guy wants to see wrestle, kick some ass, flap my gums, and you know why, Kurt? (Smirks, lifting one arm up) It’s ‘cause … I … am a (BIG, grand voice) SUPA - STAHHHHH’!!

Cena is clearly taking the piss, but he still gets some heat for his grandeur.

John Cena: Kurt … I can talk … I can wrestle … I can hype … I got the look … I got it ALL! (Very mixed reaction) But don’t be gettin’ me wrong. I ain’t just the man you send out to make Vince some money. Just ask Bischoff here what happens when you try to turn The Champ in ta some ass kissin’, shit pissin’ honky tonk.

“OH~” The General Manager looks positively enraged at the bleeped out expletive, as the crowd cheers The Doctor of Thuganomics, who grabs the contract and pen and continues to talk.

John Cena: You can sit there all you want an’ say I’ve “sold out”, Kurt, but when it all comes down to it, slick, I’m just one guy with my way o’ doin’ things … an’ so’re you. It comes to gettin’ my hands on Shawn Michaels again … … (bends down and signs contract) … … you can bet yo’ ass I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get ta that point, even if that means pissin’ off an ol’ Uncle Sam like you, Kurt; ya can count - on - that.

Thunderous mixed reaction as the self-proclaimed “Champ” flips the contract over - slams it down, takes the pen - places it on the page, and pushes it over towards Angle with a single finger, before relaxing in his chair once again. The WWE Champion doesn’t hesitate; he grabs the contract, takes the pen, takes a quick look at the #1 Contender, and signs the contract as the crowd ROARS.

Eric Bischoff: Well, (stepping forward) there it is; it’s now official! At Backlash, in the main event, it will be John Cena challenging Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship!!

~ Crowd cheers; both Cena and Angle set their microphones back down … and rise to their feet, sending a shiver through the collective spine of Wembley Arena…

Eric Bischoff: … … … But (holding up his finger) that’s not all. I hope your lawyers read the small-print, gentlemen, because the contract the two of you have just signed is not merely for a WWE Championship match at Backlash … but for a … “Do or Die” WWE Championship Match …

Angle drops his belt and angrily glares at Bischoff, while the Doctor of Thuganomics frowns a bit, in complete confusion with Eric’s statement.

Eric Bischoff: You didn’t-- (laughing) you didn’t think that you two were going to get one over on Eric Bischoff did you? Cena, (pointing threateningly at JC) I swore blind that you would never be WWE Champion again; I took it from you in January … but you just … won’t … stay … dead. The Royal Rumble. WrestleMania. Now Backlash. And, Kurt … after all I did for you at the start of the year, you turned on me … but MARK - MY - WORDS, one way or another, Backlash will be … the end … of an era

The crowd is booing mainly because it’s Eric Bischoff saying these words, but really, he’s being as cryptic as ever, as both Cena & Angle eyeball him searchingly…

Eric Bischoff: Whoever loses in the WWE Championship Match, at Backlash, April 30th in Lexington, Kentucky … … (smiles egomaniacally at his two enemies) … … will never again receive a shot at the WWE Title.

THUNDEROUS boos ring out around the building, as Angle coldly shakes his head from side-to-side in disbelief, and John Cena puts his hands on the back of his, looking to the heavens, mouthing “you gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” at the GM.

Eric Bischoff: So, ladies and gentlemen, at Backlash, for Kurt Angle and John Cena … … (closes his eyes in ecstasy, taking a deep breath) … … it will truly be … … …

Bischoff stays in the same egocentric pose; but Cena and Angle don’t know where to look, torn between their own intense, personal engagement, and their evil, hideous, manipulative General Manager as we …









Current Card for Backlash
Date: April 30th, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena; Lexington, Kentucky
Event Music: Danko Jones; Baby Hates Me

WWE Championship; Do or Die Match:
‘The Wrestling Machine’ Kurt Angle © vs. ‘The Doctor of Thuganomics’ John Cena
(All parties are banned from ringside; whoever is the loser, he will never again receive an opportunity at the WWE Championship)

Steel Cage Match; The Whole Dam Show vs. The Giant:
‘Mr. Monday Night’ Rob Van Dam vs.‘The World’s Largest Athlete’ The Big Show
(If Rob Van Dam loses, he is banished from the WWE forever)

After all the speculation, Ric Flair has promised some answers


Intercontinental Championship Match; World Tag Team Champions Collide:
Shelton Benjamin © vs. Charlie Haas

Money in the Bank Contract on the Line:
‘The Bad Apple’ Carlito (m) w/Chris Masters vs.Gregory Helms

Women’s Championship; Triple Threat Match:
Trish Stratus © vs. Mickie James vs. Victoria

World Tag Team Championship; 5-On-2 Handicap Match:
World’s Greatest Tag Team © vs. The Spirit Squad
(All members of the Spirit Squad are eligible; if any one of them pins either Haas or Benjamin, he will win the World Tag Team titles for his entire team)

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