Monday Night Raw;
January 30th, 2006;
~ Opening Video
**Across The Nation** booms in through the sold out arena in Orlando, Florida, with a capacity crowd on their feet for the final Raw before the Royal Rumble. The entire building is shaking, as we cut to JIM ROSS and JONATHAN COACHMAN at ringside, who both share equally astonished expressions on their faces.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Monday Night Raw, just one night removed from one of the biggest Royal Rumble’s in WWE history where none other than Raw’s own John Cena emerged victorious!
Please, please don’t remind of that, J.R, last night was bad enough for me without you rubbing it in. But at least one thing is certain, Raw will main event Wrestlemania yet again thanks to Cena lasting over sixty minutes to win it all.
That’s exactly right, Coach. Cena narrowly beat Chris Benoit’s record breaking 2004 time, going from number two to be the last man standing. But who will Cena choose to face come Wrestlemania? Will it be Batista on SmackDown? Or will be Raw’s very own WWE Champion –
Stop right there, J.R. Kurt Angle is not the WWE Champion. As far as I’m concerned, last night was a total fluke and I’m fully expecting our General Manager Eric Bischoff to give Triple H the rematch he deserves!
**Medal** The crowd erupts into cheers for the arrival of the WWE Champion KURT ANGLE. He strides out onto the stage clad in his sweats, wearing his belt around his waist. Angle sets off his pyro loudly before marching quickly down to the ring. Climbing through the ropes, he performs his patented spin before reaching through the ropes to grab a microphone from Lillian Garcia.
Normally when the Champ comes out after beating his opponent’s ass all over the arena, they’re pretty happy. But I’m not in the DAMN MOOD!!!
Huge pop from the crowd, whilst Angle still seethes.
I’m still the WWE Champion, I’m still wearing all the Gold around my waist, but I’m still not happy. ‘Cause last night at the Royal Rumble, Triple H … he WALKED out of that arena, when he should have been crawling on his hands and knees without a freakin’ ANKLE!!!
Slightly mixed reaction, as the crowd is reminded of Hunter.
So now I don’t give a DAMN! I don’t give a DAMN when Eric Bischoff gives Triple H a rematch … I don’t gives a DAMN where Eric Bischoff gives Triple H a rematch … all I care is that Eric Bischoff gets off his ass and gives Triple H the rematch against me, so I can beat him within an inch of his LIFE!!!
Massive pop from the crowd, with Angle still appearing wild.
Kurt Angle doesn’t win matches with roll ups! I win matches by making you MY BITCH! I win matches by making you TAP OUT! By making you BEG … FOR MERCY!!! And, Hunter, that is exactly what you’re gonna do.
Kurt sneers the last few words and the crowd cheers.
So, Eric, Hunter get off your asses and make it happen. Kurt Angle versus Triple H for the WWE title … AGAIN! It’s TRUE … IT’S DAMN TRUE!!!
Angle lowers his mic as the crowd screams, and he turns to face the entrance ramp, his eyes almost bulging out from his head with sheer intensity. However, no one emerges.
I said GET YOUR ASS HERE … NOW!!! I’ll come back there and drag you out by your freakin’ ankle if I have to, Hunter and make you out to be the BITCH that you really are!!!
Another huge pop from the fans, whilst Kurt bounces up and down on his toes in anticipation. Still no one emerges.
I said GET OUT –
**Time To Play The Game** Finally the music of the 10-time World Champion hits and out strides ‘The Game’ TRIPLE H, clad in his trunks and black vest. Surprisingly, Helmsley actually goes through his full entrance, even heading down to the ring, performing the ‘Spritz’ taunt on the apron, before entering the squared circle and taunting the fans. Angle stares a hole through Hunter, the Olympian clearly restraining himself, as Triple H finally descends from the turnbuckle and locks eyes with Kurt. Helmsley already clutches a microphone in his hand.
Now, Kurt, I know what it’s like to be the WWE Champion, I know quite well actually, and I know what it can do to you. But I don’t know who the HELL you think you are! You come out here and make it sound as though you’re doing me a favour giving me a rematch! Watch the replay, Kurt; I beat your ass so bad that you had to be CARRIED from the DAMN ring!!!
The crowd boos Triple H mercilessly, whilst Angle scowls, still trying not to leap on to Helmsley.
Kurt, last night you – (turns to the crowd)
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS!!!
Massive heat for ‘The Cerebral Assassin’, as he walks over to the ropes to hurl abuse at the fans. He gradually turns back to where Kurt Angle is still boiling slowly across the ring.
When I left that ring I walked out, but, Kurt, you were a BLOODY MESS. Face it, you say you don’t win matches by roll ups, but last night that’s all you could do to stop me!!!
Helmsley sneers at Angle, who is shaking his head back and forth slowly.
Y’see, Kurt, results mean jack in the end, ‘cause last night the better man walked out without the gold around his waist, and the REAL LOSER was left coughing up his own blood … but still the WWE Champion. But next time … that’s right, next time, Kurt, there will be no mistakes … I will walk out of there with MY WWE Championship, the eleven time Champ, and prove … that I TRULY am … THAT … DAMN … GOOD!!!
Heat from the fans, as Angle slowly, raises up his mic to speak.
Are you gonna stand there all night and spit out clichés … or are actually gonna accept a rematch?
Huge pop from the crowd whilst Hunter looks less than impressed.
You can bet your ass that I accept, you can bet your ass that I accept ANYTHING you wanna throw at me, Kurt. You come out here trying to act like you’re the big man, like you’re some kind of … ‘Olympic Hero’, throwing down challenges. Let’s get one thing straight … NOBODY CALLS ME OUT! NOBODY CHALLENGES ME! I DO WHAT I WANT! I FACE WHO I WANT!!!
Both men have moved towards the centre of the ring, and are worryingly close to one another.
I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Hunter, especially without freakin’ life partner Eric Bischoff backing you up.
Huge laughter from the crowd, whilst Hunter seethes at the mockery of his favouritism with Bischoff.
Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about any interference from your buddies, Kurt, or any of your entourage come to that. Tell me, how is Eric? Still drinking through a straw?
“Oooos” and MASSIVE heat from the fans, whilst Angle’s face completely drops, almost quivering with rage.
That’s pretty low if you ask me, sending your little brother in place of you to get his ass kicked. Y’know, I had wished it was you in the ring last Monday Night, but when I put that sledgehammer through Eric’s skull, Kurt … I enjoyed it. You always say you like violence, Kurt; well so do I. So (in Angle’s face)
which member of the Angle family is next?
Kurt is staring at the mat, whilst the crowd pours heat on Helmsley. Angle slowly, quietly speaks.
KURT ANGLE POUNCES ON TRIPLE H!!! Angle takes Hunter down with a double leg, and begins whaling away on ‘The Game’ with right hands. They roll over across the canvas, and Triple H gets in some blows on the WWE Champion, before shoving him away. Angle tries to pounce on Triple H, grabbing for the ankle, looking for the Ankle Lock … but Helmsley slithers under the bottom rope. The crowd boos as Hunter scurries to the ramp. Angle goes to exit the ring…
**I’m Back** Even more heat from the crowd, as the General Manager of Raw ERIC BISCHOFF makes his way out quickly, microphone in hand. Behind Bischoff comes an entire entourage of menacing looking SECURITY GUARDS.
Stop right there, Kurt! Don’t move another muscle, or I will have security drag you the hell out of this arena!!!
The crowd boos, whilst Angle reluctantly remains inside the ring. At the bottom of the ramp, Triple H smiles but still holds his jaw painfully.
I don’t know who you think you are, Kurt. I don’t care if you ARE the WWE Champion, because I’m the General Manager of this damn show, and I make the matches!
Boos from the crowd, whilst Kurt seethes in the ring, staring at Bischoff with a look on his face as if to say, “What’s your point?”
You will put the WWE title on the line against Triple H again because I SAY YOU WILL … not because you want to. Got it?
Angle nods angrily, whilst Helmsley still grins.
But seeing as we already HAVE a main event for tonight, and the fact that I don’t really feel like giving Orlando, Florida the match –
MASSIVE boos from the Orlando fans, cutting Bischoff off.
Due to all that, it will be NEXT WEEK on Monday Night Raw that we will see Kurt Angle defend the WWE Championship against Kurt Angle. Now, security … please escort Mister Angle from the building…
The crowd boos in total shock, and J.R goes insane at ringside, as the security team (around twelve large men) all head down to the ring. Angle takes off his title belt and lays it down, before getting ready. The first security guard slides into the ring, and Angle takes him down with a double leg, hammering away. But the remaining guards pounce on the Champ and drag him away in a ‘restraining’ manner.
The crowd pours heat on the actions of Bischoff, as the Security Guards escort Angle forcibly up the ramp, going past Triple H on the way. Hunter gives Kurt a little smirk as he passes, with the Olympian struggling to break free, as we fade out into our first commercial.
Upon returning from the break, we get a brief look of Orlando, Florida, before heading back to ringside.
Welcome back to Monday Night Raw, ladies and gentlemen, and what a way to kick off the show, with a huge announcement that next week we will see Kurt Angle put his WWE title on the line against Triple H! But the actions of Eric Bischoff are disgusting; removing the WWE Champion from the arena for no reason.
I knew Eric – Mister Bischoff would make the right decision, so now when Triple H wins the title next week, I won’t feel so bad that John Cena is in the main event.
**Firestorm** The crowd gives heat, as the fast rising superstar GREGORY HELMS struts out onto the ramp clad in his long trench coat, doorag and shades. He sneers at the fans, as he heads down to the ring, where he taunts them.
**Don’t Mess With** More heat from the crowd, as the powerful Diva VICTORIA walks down the ramp to the ring, where she greets her tag team partner Helms.
Well, young Gregory Helms didn’t have the greatest showing this Sunday in the Royal Rumble match. He entered early and disappeared early, but he did manage to eliminate his rival Eugene. As for Victoria, she has made it perfectly clear of late that she has her sights set well and truly on the Women’s title.
Helms has nothing to be ashamed of, J.R. Shelton Benjamin should be ashamed for eliminating this fine young man from behind.
**Child’s Play** The crowd gives a nice pop, as the always energetic EUGENE makes his entrance, flanked on either side by his fellow Freaks, GOLDUST and SNITSKY. The bizarre trio make their unusual entrance, whilst Helms and Victoria look on, bemused.
**Time To Rock And Roll** Great pop for the WWE Women’s Champion TRISH STRATUS, who sprints out onto the stage energetically, along with her two ‘students’ MICKIE JAMES and ASHLEY MASSARO.
Well, here comes Eugene and Trish Stratus. Gregory Helms wanted Eric Bischoff’s nephew one-on-one, but I guess he’s going to have to make do with this Mixed Tag match for now.
This is ridiculous! Gregory Helms should be allowed to beat that idiot Eugene within an inch of his life, not face this … freak.
Match #1; Mixed Tag: Gregory Helms & Victoria vs. Eugene & Trish Stratus
The opening exchange is largely comical, as Helms tries to get his hands on Eugene, but Victoria actually insists on starting the match, forcing Helms to wait on the outside. Trish combats Victoria in the early going, taking it to the Amazonian Diva with some stiff forearms and sending her into the ropes. Victoria comes back with a Powerslam. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Victoria scowls at Ashley and Mickie at ringside, before raising Trish over her head in an incredible display of strength with a Military Press. Trish rolls out of it though and shoves Vickie into the ropes, coming back with a Victory Roll. 1 … 2 … NO!!! As soon as they spring back up, Trish goes for the Chick Kick out of nowhere, but Vickie ducks, coming off the ropes … into a huge Clothesline from Trish. Stratus tags in the excited Eugene, and Victoria reluctantly does the same with Helms. Helms comes flying at his rival, but Eugene actually ducks and levels Helms with some straight jabs to the face, before going for the knockout punch. Helms counters with a Neckbreaker. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Helms waits for Eugene to get back up … Shining Wizard … but Eugene catches him with a Roll Up. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Helms kicks Eugene in the spine and sets him up for the Nightmare On Helms Street … but Eugene shoves him into the ropes and catches him with a Stunner! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Eugene sets up for the People’s Elbow … but gets clubbed in the back of the neck by Victoria. He falters and Helms rolls him up. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Victoria tags herself, as does Trish. Victoria staggers from the force of a Stratus punch, as Trish sets up for the Chick Kick … but Helms grabs her leg. Trish stumbles and turns, and Victoria catches her with a Backslide. 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winners: Gregory Helms & Victoria @ 07:05
Gregory Helms smirks on the outside of the ring and turns to where The Freaks are all standing collectively glaring at him. Helms thinks twice about a confrontation and begins to edge away slowly. Back in the ring, Victoria celebrates her triumph, signalling that the Women’s title is coming to her. Ashley rushes to check on Trish, whilst Mickie James is perhaps a little slow in coming to her mentor’s aid.
We cut backstage into the locker room of EDGE, where ‘The Rated R Superstar’ is sat alongside LITA looking none too happy, adjusting the tape on his fists ahead of his Main Event match tonight. The crowd gives him huge heat.
Can you believe this? Huh? I have to face that little chumpstain in his (mocking RVD voice)
“big return match, dude”. I already put his ass over the top rope last night; I got the job DONE!
I know, baby, it’s a joke.
Edge picks up his Money In The Bank briefcase, holding it in a rather insecure manner.
Y’see, I should already BE in the Main Event at Wrestlemania, Lita, not John Cena. NOT JOHN CENA! Now I’m gonna have to use this baby (slaps the briefcase)
to live my dream. And I will, Lita, I WILL!
Lita strokes her man’s face, trying to calm him down.
What the hell does John Cena care about Wrestlemania Main Events anyway? What does someone like Dave freakin’ Batista care? They were white trash rappers and bodybuilders five years ago, whilst was here, bustin’ my ass week in week out, and how many Wrestlemania’s have I Main Evented? Huh? None, that’s how many. This place has been holding me back for years, just look all of the title shots I’ve had – oh that’s right, I can count them on one damn hand!
Y’know, I bet it made them all sick last year when I won the Money In The Bank, ‘cause they knew that I’d get my shot one-day. I’m gonna show that a Wrestlemania Main Event is about talent … TALENT! Not muscles and raps … TALENT!
The crowd can be heard booing in the background, as Edge and Lita begin kissing.
I’m gonna ruin RVD’s little return tonight, count on it. He’s nothing but a mid-card wrestler anyway. I’m gonna show them all why this is Rated –
Before he can finish, Edge is cut off by a munching sound, and CARLITO enters the shot to huge heat from the crowd. CCC is wearing his tee shirt over his trunks, and holding his apple. Edge doesn’t even get up.
Carlito was listening from the outside, and I heard that you were blaming John Cena for not winning the Royal Rumble. Edge, ‘Das … ‘Das crap.
A very mixed reaction from the crowd here, as Edge looks confused.
We had an agreement. You scratch Carlito’s back and I scratch yours. But ‘dats not what happened, Edge, ‘cause you tried to put me over the top rope. If you stuck to the plan, Carlito … or you, would be in the Main Event at Wrestlemania.
That’s great, you can think that all you want, Carlito, but you knew the score. Every … man … for … HIMSELF! Don’t act surprised.
Carlito takes another bite of his apple and looks at Lita.
‘Das not the point. We had a plan. I stuck to the plan, and you didn’t. Edge … and ‘dat … ‘Das not cool.
Carlito chews and rears back as though to spit, but Edge and Lita suddenly jump up and leap back. CCC bursts out laughing.
Relax. You’re cool. Just don’t screw with Carlito … ever … again.
Still chuckling to himself, Carlito strolls away munching away, whilst Edge breathes a sigh of relief, mouthing “Dammit” to himself, as Lita rakes her fingers through his hair.
When we return from the break we cut to backstage, where TODD GRISHAM is standing by with his microphone in hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time … he is the Intercontinental Champion … Shelton Benjamin!
SHELTON BENJAMIN enters the shot to a big pop from the fans wearing his smart shirt open at the buttons, with his title belt slung over his shoulder.
Shelton, just last night at the Royal Rumble you entered at Number One and lasted over fifty minutes before being eliminated. How do you feel twenty-four hours on from such a performance?
Disappointed, Todd, just disappointed.
Grisham looks a little confused, as Benjamin’s expression stiffens.
Would you care to elaborate please?
Todd, I’m a perfectionist, that’s all. When I drew Number One … it didn’t bother me. I’m good enough to go the distance and I almost proved that last night. Yes, I lasted fifty minutes, but I’m only happy when I’m winning matches.
Shelton gets a nice pop from the crowd, who have been really warming to his babyface role of late.
Just last night I understood that I wasn’t just doing it for myself, I was doing it for all the fans … all of my fans, so that’s why I felt disappointed. I felt I’d let them down, Todd, I felt I’d let myself down when The Undertaker threw me over the top rope. But being defeated by a legend is no disgrace, and I have much respect for him. One thing is for sure though; I will be at Wrestlemania one way or another.
Tonight you partner with your old tag team partner Charlie Haas. How do you feel about that, seeing as though the two of you have been having your differences of late? You even eliminated him from the Royal Rumble last night.
Shelton looks a little concerned by this statement, scratching his nose and looking at the ground.
I know that, Todd. Charlie, and me we grew apart. We haven’t been close for years, and ever since he came back to the WWE he hasn’t been able to win a match, which has got to him I guess. Last night, eliminating him was just –
Shelton stops in mid-flow though, as CHARLIE HAAS steps into the shot in his wrestling attire, drinking from a bottle of water.
Was just what, Shelton?
Haas gives a forced smile, but it’s clear he is still upset. His gaze drifts across to Shelton’s title belt. He pats the gold jokingly, but Shelton looks a little irritated.
Business huh? We’ll see … partner.
Haas chuckles and walks off slowly in preparation for their match, whist Shelton hangs back, looking anxiously after his tag team partner and glancing at his own Intercontinental Championship.
We cut back to ringside, where J.R and Coach are waiting.
A lot of tension there, Coach, between the former members of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. Former World and WWE Tag Team Champions remember.
Looks to me like Shelton eliminating Haas last night has done their relationship NO favours whatsoever. We’ll see how things work out when they team up later tonight.
We cut back to ringside, where **Hello, ladies** is just dying down in the ring, as VAL VENIS plays to the crowd with his towel, before…
**Cool** The crowd gives a surprisingly large amount of boos for the young heel CARLITO, who swaggers down to the ring, tossing his apple up and down, an angry expression still on his face.
A hell of a challenge for the veteran Val Venis here tonight, Coach. Carlito proved last night once again, just why he is the fastest rising young superstar on the roster. He entered in the Rumble match at Number Twelve, and lasted nearly fifty minutes … making it to the final four.
Carlito has been on a role, J.R, and last night at the Royal Rumble, it was only some miscommunication that meant that he or Edge didn’t walk out of there with a spot in the Wrestlemania Main Event.
Match #2: Carlito vs. Val Venis
A showcase for the young Carlito more than anything, so nothing really special here. CCC garners some impressive heat nowadays, since his rivalry with Ric Flair, and plays up to that with the fans. Carlito shows his quickness, ducking two Clothesline attempts, before Springboarding off the middle rope with a back elbow! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Carlito scowls at Val and quickly performs a Springboard Moonsault from the second rope … but Venis moves. Carlito crashes and burns, and Val comes flying off the ropes looking for a big Clothesline … but CCC ducks and nails the Caribbean Twist! Carlito makes it perfectly clear to the fans that he could make the cover if he wanted to, but instead he waits for Val Venis to get to his feet before … Back Stabber! 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner: Carlito @ 03:41
Carlito taunts the fans to heat after this impressive victory, which really showed the gulf in class between himself and Val Venis. CCC heads to the outside of the ring and grabs a juicy looking apple, before returning to the ring. Taking a bite, Carlito stands of the fallen Val, chewing, before … SPITTING THE APPLE RIGHT IN VENIS’ FACE!
The Florida fans boo the arrogant youngster liberally, as he laughs at Val’s humiliation, before finally exiting the ring.
We return from the commercial break and head into Triple H’s locker room, where ‘The Game’ is sat relaxing watching T.V still in his sweats … when Eric Bischoff bursts in! Hunter leaps up in shock, stunned by Eric’s arrival. He scowls at the GM of Raw.
What the hell is your damn problem, huh?
What? I – oh, uh, sorry about that, Hunter, but that’s not the point. We have a problem.
What are you talkin’ about? What problem?
Bischoff looks about anxiously before edging further into the ring.
After the way you … ‘handled’ the match officials last night (Triple H grins) well, I can’t find one who will referee your match next week. I just got back from their locker room and they said that they’d rather be fired than get in the ring with you.
That’s just how Kurt Angle feels too.
Bischoff and Helmsley share a laugh.
Anyway, how can they blame me for what happened to them last night? If they were doing their damn jobs then I wouldn’t have had to Pedigree their asses.
No, no, I completely agree, Hunter. Idiots. Useless morons. I’ll fire ‘em all after the show. The thing is, we NEED a referee for next week … otherwise you won’t get the title shot.
Then you referee it.
I’d, ah, like to, Hunter, I really would, but y’know, you were, uh, pretty rough last night with everyone.
Triple H snarls and grabs Bischoff by the scruff of his neck.
Then find … SOMEONE WHO WILL DAMMIT! I’m not losing my title shot!
I was thinking I’d … I’d have to ask some of the roster … the Raw superstars …
So what’s the problem?
Bischoff again looks a little nervous at this question.
Well … uh … you don’t have many fans in the locker room, Hunter. Nobody … likes you.
Helmsley boots a chair angrily kicks a chair and sends it flying.
I don’t care if they think I’m Mother Teresa! Just find some monkey who can do HIS JOB! Some one who can count to three dammit! Is that so hard?!!!
I guess not.
Triple H leans in closely, almost whispering in Bischoff’s face.
Triple H: (Whispering)
Then get it done, Eric … ‘cause NOTHING is gonna stand in my way from becoming the WWE Champion …
‘The Game’ shoves Bischoff aside and storms out of his locker room, whilst the GM of Raw looks on, agitated.
Cut to arena…
**Redneck** hits to some low-level heat, and out storm the former World Tag Team Champions LANCE CADE and TREVOR MURDOCH, both wearing equally furious expressions on their faces. They storm down to the ring, taunting the fans.
Well, last night Lance Cade was scheduled to be competing in the Royal Rumble, but he had his spot … uh … ‘taken’ by The Undertaker. Clearly both men are still unhappy about that.
Of course they are, J.R. It was a travesty. Here we have two great young superstars, one of the greatest tag teams in the WWE, and they get their spot stolen by some washed up has been!
**Pay The Price** The crowd gives a nice face pop for the arrival of Charlie Haas, who enters the arena wearing his new ‘Flame’ pattern full length tights. He plays to the crowd a little before heading down to the ring.
**Ain’t No Stopping Me** The Intercontinental Champions runs out onto the stage athletically to a great reception, playing to the fans, wearing his title around his waist. He sprints down to the ring, where he and Charlie Haas exchange words awkwardly.
The tension is clear there, but hopefully these two can work it out, as the World’s Greatest Tag Team just may well be … well, the World’s Greatest Tag Team on form.
I have to agree with you there, J.R, but I don’t think they CAN work together.
Match #3: Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
As one would expect with the two teams involved in this match, an EXTREMELY solid match up. The heels work on Haas. Cade really tries to work on Haas’ neck; Haas fights back though, spurred on by the crowd, as he struggles up to his feet, drilling Cade with hard elbow shots. Haas breaks the hold and shoots of the ropes … but Cade goes for the Sleeper Hold … but Haas drops down into the Haas Of Pain … but Cade quickly crawls to the ropes! Haas drags Cade back to the centre of the ring and tries to apply the move again … but Cade rolls him up. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Both men jump up, and Cade tries to Irish Whip Haas into the ropes, but Haas reverses it into a German Suplex! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Haas lifts Cade back up and nails a huge Belly-to-Belly Overhead! 1 … 2 …NO!!! Trevor Murdoch breaks it up. Unbeknownst to the performers in the ring, the five-man team of the Spirit Squad have appeared on the top of the ramp and are watching the proceedings with their World Tag Team titles. Haas advances on Murdoch, but gets rolled up from behind by Cade. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Both men break out and tag in their respective partners. Shelton springboards in with a fist but Murdoch ducks and Shelton nails Cade instead, knocking him through the ropes. Murdoch kicks Benjamin in the gut and goes for the Texan Destroyer … but Shelton shoves him into the ropes … and catches him with a huge kick to the side of the head. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Cade breaks it up. Haas rushes into the ring to get Cade but gets slammed by Murdoch. Cade lifts Shelton up, but the All-American drops down and nails the T-Bone Suplex out of nowhere! Cade rolls to the outside, as Murdoch comes back from behind … but Shelton moves and Murdoch turns again, as Haas is back up … Star Spangled Stun Gun! Roll up by Benjamin 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winners: Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin @ 13:38
The crowd pops, as Shelton rolls away from on top of Trevor Murdoch to celebrate. Haas looks slightly disheartened at the fact that he still hasn’t technically won a match, since he did not make the pin. Benjamin takes his title belt and celebrates with the crowd, whilst Haas watches on, irritated at being ignore, before leaving the ring. The Spirit Squad also look on, though it is unclear why they would think Haas and Benjamin challengers.
We return from the commercial break to where J.R and Coach are sat at ringside.
Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, and right now we would like to address the absence from Raw tonight of ‘The Nature Boy’ Ric Flair. Last night at the Royal Rumble, Flair was – well I’ll roll the footage and let you see for yourself.
The crowd are booing the actions of John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield, as the video recap ends with the shot of ‘The Wrestling God’ screaming in the face of a bloodied and unmoving Ric Flair.
Originally Posted by The Royal Rumble Match; Last Night
Nearly beheading the sixteen-time Champion with a brutal shot, JBL shoves various officials from the apron, ignoring their protests, before mounting on top of Flair and hammering away on an already bloody Naitch (thanks to Finlay) with shot after shot after shot. Bradshaw is screaming in Naitch’s face, “I’M THE MAN! NOT YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” JBL drags Flair back up to his feet, taking him by the head and tossing him over the top rope to the outside!
ELIMINATION #13: RIC FLAIR BY (AN ALREADY ELIMINATED) JOHN ‘BRADSHAW’ LAYFIELD @ 34:22
JBL heads back to the outside himself and nails two referees in the face as they approach him, before putting the boot to ‘The Nature Boy’ once again, bloodying the veteran even more, as dozens of officials desperately try to drag him away.
Shocking events last night, ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you’ll all agree. The actions of JBL were reprehensible, and they have subsequently put Ric Flair out of action indefinitely.
Now I’m no fan of the SmackDown locker room, J.R, but it seems to me that we’re being a little biased with a coverage of what happened last night. I seem to remember that it was Ric Flair who made the first move when he eliminated JBL.
**Just Look At Me** The music of the young, self-obsessed star ROB CONWAY hits, and he strolls out, casually removing his sunglasses.
**Oooh Chavo** The crowd gives quite a nice pop for the arrival of CHAVO GUERRERO, who walks out onto the stage, pointing up to the heavens, before heading down to the ring with a serious expression on his face.
Well, Chavo Guerrero was doing his late Uncle, Eddie Guerrero, proud in the Royal Rumble last night; that is until the deplorable Mister Kennedy from SmackDown eliminated him from behind. Chavo is looking to get things back on track tonight against the young Rob Conway.
You know what, J.R? It was every man fore himself last night, and Chavo wasn’t able to cut it. Let’s face facts; I don’t think we’d want him representing us in the Main Event of Wrestlemania anyway.
Match #4: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rob Conway
A decent match up put on between these two well-versed superstars, though with Chavo supplying much of the pace to the match up, especially since he is the centre of attention. Chavo shows his in-ring savvy though, by working on the legs of the larger, more powerful Conway, dropping a standing Somersault Senton over the knees, before propping the left leg up on the bottom rope and driving his entire weight down into it. Chavo even applies a Boston Crab for a while, before Conway makes it to the ropes. The young Guerrero lifts Rob up and rebounds off the ropes … Spinebuster! Chavo gets planted. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Conway tries to dominate Chavo, by hitting some powerful Shoulder Thrusts in the corner. He tries to Irish Whip Guerrero across the ring, and Chavo bounces out of the corner clutching his spine … and Rob goes for a Neckbreaker … Chavo counters with a Roll Up. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Conway lifts Chavo up into the air, looking for the Ego Trip … but Chavo shows his incredible agility by countering in mid-air with a DDT! After recovering, Chavo chooses not to cover Conway and heads up high to the top rope. He points to the sky, before leaping off with a Frog Splash that would make Eddie proud. 1 … 2 … 3!!!
Winner: Chavo Guerrero @ 06:17
What a victory for Chavo Guerrero! The crowd gives another nice pop for the legendary Cruiserweight, who is still finding his feet on Monday Night Raw. Chavo ascends to the top rope and beats his chest in triumph, pointing to the heavens with two fingers, knowing that he is on a roll of sorts, as we cut out for a break.
Upon returning from the commercial, we head immediately backstage, where the lovely MARIA is standing by with a microphone in hand. The room seems unusually dark, as though she is in a lower area of the building, and Maria seems a little nervous.
L- ladies and gentlemen, p – please welcome my guest at this – this time … he is ‘The B- Big Red M- Machine’ … K –Kane…
The massive figure of KANE suddenly enters the shot, towering over Maria ominously, and a steely expression on his face. The crowd pops loudly at the sight of one of their favourites.
K –Kane, last night at the … at t-the Royal Rumble you dominated until everyone in the ring threw you out. W-what are your thoughts?
Kane leans over Maria even further, and the ridiculous size difference becomes even clearer.
Myyyyyyyy … thoughtssssssssssss?
Maria nods anxiously.
Thereeee was … no one in that ring last night strongggggg … strong enough to eliminate meeeeeeeee …
Maria looks positively terrified now.
Theyyy allllllllll knewwwwww … what they haddddd … to do to eliminate me … toooooo … eliminate … a MONSTERRRRR!!!
You have b-been having some problems with Big Show lately after he cost you your tag team titles. W- why?
The mention of Big Show’s name draws heat from the crowd and a snarl from Kane.
Heeeee … Betrayyyyyeeddd … meeeeee!!!
Maria begins to edge back just slightly, as Kane fumes.
Heeeee spilled … myyyyyy … BLOODDDDD!!!
Kane leans right in close now on the trembling Maria.
Sooooo … now … I will spilllllllllll … HI –
KANE GETS SLUGGED FROM BEHIND BY A HUGE BLOW, SENDING HIM CRASHING ACROSS THE FLOOR!!! Maria runs away screaming, whilst the camera pans around and up to show the man responsible for the attack … THE BIG SHOW!!!
The seven-foot mammoth angrily puts the boot to Kane on the ground over and over again, before lifting him up and delivering a series of hard, thick headbutts, each one drawing a sickening crack. The crowd can be heard booing in the background, as Kane stumbles back, falling against some mesh of a backstage holding cage.
Kane clutches at his forehead, where he has been busted open by Show’s headbutts. Big Show lifts Kane back up and hurls him face first into the cage mesh. Kane goes crashing to the ground, but Show isn’t done yet as he hurls ‘The Big Red Machine’ at the cage once again, rattling the backstage area.
Kane is barely conscious right now, but still Big Show continues with his assault. The giant lifts Kane up over his shoulder, as though he were nothing more than a child … AND THROWS HIM LIKE A JAVELIN THROUGH THE CAGE MESH!!!
Kane breaks through the cage and crashes in a heap amongst the crates and barrels on the other side, settling in a cloud of dust, and not moving. The boos of the crowd can be heard loudly once again, as Big Show stares down at his fallen victim, with that same, cold expression on his face. He raises his arms slowly, as we fade out into another commercial.
When we return we cut quickly back to J.R and Coach at ringside.
Good lord! What the hell kind of human being is Big Show? He just nearly killed his former tag team partner – his former friend Kane, and for what?
Kane cost him his spot in the Royal Rumble, J.R, don’t you forget that for a second. Kane deserves everything that he’s getting.
**Metalingus** The crowd erupts into probably the largest heat of the night, eclipsing even that of Triple H. Clutching his Money In The Bank briefcase tightly to his chest, EDGE races out onto the stage clad in his tights and long trench coat, closely followed by the lovely LITA. The two lovers flirt at the top of the ramp before heading down to the ring, taunting the fans all the way.
This man … will not be happy. Last night Edge entered Number Thirty in the Royal Rumble match, but ended up being eliminated by the winner John Cena. His dreams of being Undisputed Champion are over, and now he thinks that the returning Rob Van Dam is taking all of his spotlight.
He’s right too, J.R. RVD is a glory hog, and he’s just jealous of all the success that Edge has had in his absence. We saw who the better man was last night when Edge threw RVD over the top rope, but I guess that isn’t enough.
**One Of A Kind** A MASSIVE pop from the Orlando crowd, as the official Monday Night Raw return of ROB VAN DAM becomes official. ‘Mr. Monday Night’ jogs out onto the stage energetically, playing to his fans. He does the “R-V-D” taunt halfway down the ramp, before sliding into the ring and locking eyes with Edge.
Match #5: Edge vs. Rob Van Dam
Nothing short of a great return match for Van Dam, as he takes on another man with a lot of in-ring prowess. Early on the match Edge garners a lot of heat from the crowd by slapping ‘The Whole F’N Show’ across the face and mocking the “R-V-D” taunt. However, the tables turn when Van Dam reverses an Irish Whip, sending Edge into the corner. RVD goes for the Monkey Flip … but Edge lands on his feet! ‘The Rated R Superstar’ struts about cockily but turns around and has his head taken off by a huge Spinning Heel Kick! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Edge kicks out and rolls to the outside for a breather with Lita … but RVD takes them both out with a huge Plancha! The “EC-Dub” chants come in loudly, as RVD plays to the crowd, rolling Edge back into the ring. 1 … 2 … NO!!! RVD climbs to the top rope and hits the Split Legged Moonsault! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Van Dam lifts Edge back up and Irish Whips him across the ring into the ropes. Edge ducks the Heel Kick and rolls RVD up! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Van Dam leaps back, ducking Edge’s Clothesline and applying the fron facelock, looking for a Vertical Suplex … but Edge spins through … Impaler DDT! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Edge rakes through his hair in frustration, as he waits for Van Dam to get up. He scoops ‘Mr. Monday Night’ up, but RVD slides off his shoulders and scoops Edge up, but Edge slides off his shoulders … nailing the Edge-O-Matic! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Edge slaps the mat in fury and head over to the opposite corner, where he awaits Van Dam to get up. RVD stands and turns … Edge goes for the Spear, but RVD leap frogs him, and Edge collides with the turnbuckle! Edge turns and RVD nails the Monkey Flip across the ring! Van Dam heads up top, waiting for Edge to stand, and leaps off with a kick right to Edge’s jaw! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Van Dam scoops Edge up and plants him with a Scoop Slam, before racing off the ropes looking for the Rolling Thunder … but Edges counters into a Powerslam! 1 … 2 … NO!!! Edge is growing extremely frustrated, as he drags RVD into the centre of the ring now and applies the Edgecator! The submission is locked in for a good while until Van Dam finally struggles and makes it to the ropes. Edge tries again but gets rolled up. 1 … 2 … NO!!! Edge takes Van Dam’s head off with a Clothesline and sets him up again. Edge charges for a Spear, but Van Dam wipes him out with a Spinning Heel Kick! RVD now finally hits Rolling Thunder to the delight of the crowd, and heads up top, where he does the “R-V-D” thumb salute, and is about to nail the Five-Star Frog Splash … when Lita grabs his foot. The crowd boos, as Van Dam tries to shake her away. RVD climbs down from the top rope, and tries to get hold of Lita … BUT SHE SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE! The referee has seen enough and calls for the bell, disqualifying Edge.
Winner via DQ: Rob Van Dam @ 15:41
The crowd boos the result, and RVD protests with the referee too, clearly wanting to win his big return match in style. Lita drops off the apron smiling and the crowd screams, as Edge can be seen setting up for a Spear behind Van Dam’s back. ‘The R Rated Superstar’ charges … but RVD realises at the last second and dives out of the way. Edge smacks the steel ring post shoulder first and collapses to the mat.
Van Dam looks around, spurred on by the fans, and climbs to the top rope yet again, looking for the Five-Star Frog Splash … but Lita grabs Edge’s leg and yanks him towards the ropes, where he slides out of the ring and stumbles back up the ramp clutching his shoulder in agony. The official hands Edge his MITB briefcase, and he and Lita back off furiously, scowling at Van Dam. ‘Mr. Monday Night’ remains in the ring though, playing to his fans.
We cut to a shot of JOHN CENA walking down a backstage hallway and towards the ring, receiving a thunderous pop.
Oh man, what a return match for Rob Van Dam. It’s a damn shame that Lita and Edge had to ruin it by not playing by the rules. But coming up next, folks, we will hear from the winner of the 2006 Royal Rumble winner … John Cena!!!
Please don’t remind me, J.R.
**My Time Is Now** The crowd explodes upon returning from the commercial interlude, giving an astonishing standing ovation, as the 2006 Royal Rumble winner John Cena enters the arena, clad in his cap and ‘Hustle, Loyalty, Respect’ shirt. He plays to the crowd a bit before heading down to the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen, what a night this man had last night. Not only did he overcome ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels to QUALIFY for the Royal Rumble, but also he actually entered at Number Two … and won it all.
John Cena can blow his own trumpet, J.R; he doesn’t need you to do it for him. I’m more bothered about where Shawn Michaels is. He finally saw the light last night and shut the kid Cena’s mouth. I wanna shake his hand.
Cena slides into the ring and throws up a ‘Word Life’ taunt to the crowd to his usual mixed reaction, before collecting a microphone from Lillian Garcia at ringside.
Cena can’t even get a single out, as the crowd is still engaged in their own personal battle, with the “Cena” chants being challenged by some boos.
Ain’t it funny what can change in a week?
A huge pop from his fans.
It was Monday Night Raw … January TWENTY THIRD … and things weren’t lookin’ too good for John Cena … FIRST he watches his Royal Rumble opponent Shaw – wait, I’ll get to him later.
A VERY mixed reaction for Cena here, as Michaels is still loved.
Eric Bischoff and Vince McMahon … Darth Vader and Doctor Evil … they put their heads together and what do we get? John Cena will go one-on … (counts on his fingers)
five? Against none other than … THE VILLAGE PEOPLE!
Laughter for Cena’s mockery of the Spirit Squad.
Don’t get me wrong, it was no laughing matter when I was getting’ my ass kicked by – “OH NO – John Cena is down, and the Policeman is on top (raises his eyebrows),
there’s the Native American … the Builder is on his way too. What will Cena do? WHAT WILL CENA DO?!!!”
More laughter for Cena’s mock commentary, but ‘The Doctor Of Thuganomics’ throws J.R a wink, who laughs, whilst Coach frowns.
It wasn’t lookin’ good, ya’ll saw that. I was a bloody mess, and let me tell you now … your own blood, it ain’t a pretty sight. So … you might say weren’t, but I know you all were, ‘cause I was myself … I was a doubter that I would even win my first match.
The crowd boos, protesting that they never thought that way.
Nah, it’s cool, ‘cause y’see last night … I proved the doubters wrong.
Oh it was big … JOHN CENA … ‘THE CHAMP’ … ‘THE DOCTOR OF THUGANOMICS’ … VERSUS … ‘THE SHOWSTOPPAH’ … ‘THE MAIN EVENT’ … ‘THE ICON’ … THE HEARTBREAK KID’ … SHAW – wait, I’m still not ready to say his name; let’s just say it was big.
Another quite mixed reaction for Cena’s obvious hostility towards Shawn Michaels.
And after all the Elbow Drops … after all the STFU’s … after all of the F-U’s … and after all of the … SWEET … CHIN … MUSIC’S … one man came through with his hand held high … JOHN CENA!!!
Another huge pop from Cena’s faithful supporters.
I though Shaw – ya’ll know his name. I thought he had class, and when I offered my hand … he walked away. That’s cool … he just lost, he was pissed OFF, I can understand that.
Applause from the crowd.
But what I can’t understand … is this.
Cena removes his cap, exposing the bandage across his forehead, covering the wound brought on by the steel chair attack from Shawn Michaels last night during the Rumble match.
The match was firing on all cylinders! We had All-American’s … ‘Special’ guys named Eugene … and Big ass Red Machines. We had Wrestling (JBL impression)
GAWDDDDDSSSSS … and Nature Boys … ECW Originals … and ‘Dead Men Walking. We had good guys, bad guys, nice guys, clean guys, former champions, former nobody’s, butchers, bakers and (huge breath)
CANDLE STICK MAKERS!!!
Huge pop for Cena’s little flurry.
And one pissed off ‘Showstoppah’ with John Cena in his sights.
Another very mixed reaction for the mention of HBK.
It ain’t about the beef he has with me; it’s about the way he did. HBK … I’m goin’ to the Main Event at Wrestlemania, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about that. My decision is made, my mind is set. It was tough, ya’ll understand. Do I face the man I’ve bitched slapped all over North America … Kurt Angle? Do I face the man with the eight-mile nose … Triple H? Or do I head over to where it all began for John Cena and face … ‘The Animal’?
Huge pop at the mention of Batista. Cena smiles though and looks up at the entrance ramp.
I’ll see you at Wrestlemania … KURT!!!
MASSIVE pop, as John Cena confirms that he will be remaining on Monday Night Raw to go after the WWE Championship.
And as for you … H … B … K … I am ALWAYS right here; I’m easy to find, so don’t you EVER attack me from behind again. ‘Cause if ya want some … COME … GET SOME!!!
Cena has worked himself up into a real frenzy now, as he stomps around the ring to the applause of the crowd.
On April 2nd … Kurt Angle you’re gonna hear it one more time, and so will SHAWN … MICHAELS … and every man, woman and child still breathin’ … THAT … THE CHAMP … IS …
Cena lowers his mic, as his gaze falls on the top of the ramp, noticing about the same time as the fans that SHAWN MICHAELS has emerged onto the stage. HBK is dressed in his street clothes of jeans and a t-shirt, but carries no microphone or weapon. Cena raises the mic up one more time.
John Cena: (Whispering)
Michaels simply stares at Cena with a cold expression upon his face, a little smirk at the corner of his mouth, as though he had expected this kind of reaction. Cena drops the mic with a thud and walks up to the ropes, locking eyes with ‘The Heartbreak Kid’, as we go off the air.
END OF SHOW